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00:00 Sabrina the Animated Series, Episode 41.
00:03 I gotta say, quickly terrified.
00:05 Even if it's from the forced concept of Hilda driving too fast like in a 70s comic.
00:10 Even though, Witch would make herself an expert at driving.
00:13 She says she somehow thinks she's getting the hang of driving.
00:16 Why do we have to see her cause damage?
00:19 You might not get the idea that she used magic to fix that damage.
00:24 There's no reason she would think he isn't scared.
00:28 She has to be just saying that to mock him.
00:30 This has the same problem as the shitty Jetsons episode.
00:34 Though at least no one's joking that all women are bad drivers.
00:38 She'd know how to drive by now.
00:41 Women have been allowed to drive for decades and she's 600 years old.
00:45 And if she wasn't driving all the time because she could just warp or fly.
00:50 She would just do that.
00:52 Not want to drive a car when Quigley has no actual power over her.
00:57 I can assume this makes sense because she's knowingly torturing him though.
01:00 There's no way Sabrina would assume Hilda's not that bad at driving.
01:05 It's not like she just met Hilda.
01:07 Why would she not believe Quigley when she'd inevitably hear him complain about Hilda's driving?
01:12 Sabrina wants Hilda to become good at driving because then she could drive her around.
01:16 Even though she's still as Quigley to drive her around.
01:19 So I guess she assumes Quigley's very stingy with driving people around.
01:23 Because he'd rather do housework all day.
01:26 She could just fly in a broomstick where she wants.
01:29 He wouldn't know.
01:30 And that happened in the comic.
01:32 I like saying Quigley trip.
01:34 It's good that it doesn't guilt trip us by having to be injured the whole episode from it.
01:39 Hilda gets reassured by Zelda when she whines about failing.
01:43 And I guess it's just too scared of Quigley to use the "get good at driving" spell.
01:47 It makes sense that she'd want to actually get good at driving for the sake of her own pride.
01:53 Why'd she go into Spooky again when she wasn't prompted to do so?
01:56 When he always betrays her?
01:58 And basically every spell he does is something a witch has done at some point.
02:02 So it's not like he's more powerful than them.
02:05 He at least suffers from some embarrassment because he can't rhyme something with orange.
02:10 But he should've known better.
02:11 But since he even warns people his spells are gonna backfire,
02:15 why do they still trust him instead of immediately changing their minds?
02:18 Sabrina throws a stick to keep dogs from chasing Salem anymore.
02:23 Why did one of the dogs not go after the stake?
02:25 Why isn't Salem using magic to protect himself?
02:29 Salem asks if she's sure the transformation is complete.
02:33 Why didn't they just summon a person by pointing instead of thinking they have to transform an already living being?
02:39 He says what's he doing by that fire hydrant if the transformation is complete?
02:44 How would he still act like a dog when he has a human brain now?
02:47 It'd be forced if he never acted like a dog again then.
02:51 I like saying he'll wear that thing on her head.
02:53 Even if no one ever does that because they're doing housework.
02:57 And finally the show does show off the aunt's boy craziness,
03:01 which was apparently flanderized in the comic.
03:04 I know she'll never stay with the guy the rest of the show.
03:07 So I waste my time.
03:09 At least I get to see Sabrina and Salem levitating.
03:12 If they're so confident in using their own magic frivolously,
03:16 why even go to Spooky?
03:18 Then the driving teacher flirts with Zelda and goes off with her,
03:22 and I guess enjoy cookies.
03:24 Her tire pops.
03:26 He says he'll teach her to change a flat.
03:29 Sadly I don't get to see that because the episode cuts past Zelda doing that.
03:34 And Zelda's flowers get ruined.
03:37 Edits into dating Zelda.
03:39 She also freezes Zelda,
03:42 so good thing she can still melt to just by force of will.
03:45 If a witch doesn't need to even move to use magic,
03:48 why didn't they get themselves free of the ropes earlier?
03:51 And then we see the aunts get shapeshifted a bunch.
03:54 The house gets split in two so that each aunt could have her own half,
03:58 which rips off the sitcom.
04:00 And Sabrina almost falls and gets killed,
04:03 and Salem saves her.
04:05 Her aunts want to keep that crack there because they don't want her dead.
04:08 And Zelda's supposed to be the responsible one.
04:11 Sabrina says she'll have to get rid of Ed.
04:14 Then why doesn't she just point to do it?
04:18 Sabrina thinks her aunts would split her in half if she told them she created Ed,
04:22 which she'd have to do to console them after they'd be upset that he vanished
04:26 and file a missing persons report for him.
04:28 It's always annoying to see the aunts bicker, and pointless.
04:32 Zelda creates fire on the table.
04:35 She calls an operator wanting the number of the Department of Motor Vehicles,
04:39 and makes a DMV call and says she wants to uncancel her driving test.
04:44 What does the guy know it's not Hilda?
04:46 I guess he assumes that Hilda's voice sounds different over the phone,
04:49 if he even recognizes Hilda's voice.
04:52 Won't he expect some ID?
04:54 If she can disguise herself as Hilda complete with getting her voice,
04:58 why didn't she get Rin to do that before she made the call?
05:01 She goes off with Ed, and Sabrina hugs Hilda.
05:05 Hilda gets a normal driving lesson,
05:08 and now she's driving normally.
05:10 He says casually that he sees someone on a flying vacuum behind him,
05:15 and then he looks mildly confused by it.
05:17 Hilda uses magic to knock down the trees,
05:20 rather than her just turning Zelda to stone for the time being.
05:24 She uses magic repeatedly, making it rain frogs.
05:28 This is entertaining to see.
05:29 It's little Sabrina's style,
05:31 where the witches don't even care about revealing magic to people.
05:34 After all, everyone assumes they're dreamy anyways.
05:37 I guess the teacher's laughing to reassure himself because he thinks he started dreaming.
05:42 No one ever questions the idea that they started dreaming
05:45 when they won't remember going to bed that day.
05:47 No one ever freaks out that they fainted.
05:50 Hilda drives so fast her car starts flying.
05:53 At least she gives herself a helmet.
05:55 Why is she pulling him up manually when she used magic so much?
06:00 She could warp him back to his seat.
06:02 She would think to do that.
06:04 And it'd be fine if she said, "Oh no, I'm out of magic."
06:08 Sabrina takes the wheel, having warped to it.
06:11 A car scares people a bunch of times because sadism is the humor of the show.
06:16 The teacher thinks he's losing his mind
06:18 when he could've assumed this was just a dream the whole time.
06:21 That'd be the more likely assumption.
06:23 I mean, how is he not freaking out a lot more before then?
06:27 Eventually, a marshmallow gets summoned to give them a soft landing to stop the car
06:32 because that was all she could think about in a panic.
06:35 Selvie gets her real appearance revealed.
06:39 The teacher acts happy to reassure himself and gives her a license.
06:43 Sure would be dark if it's not explained that he goes back to normal after this
06:48 instead of permanently going crazy.
06:51 Smartly, quickly says she's not driving his car until she really learns.
06:56 She only started not driving well because she was protecting herself from her sister.
07:01 You'd think she would at least try to explain it, even if she thinks she won't be believed about it.
07:07 Zelda asks Hilda if she can ever forgive her.
07:10 But then Hilda goes from forgiving her to continuing to say Ed likes her best.
07:14 Ed can't really choose which one he likes the best.
07:17 He says he'll teach Sabrina to drive when he gets conjured up by her again.
07:21 And inexplicably, he turns back into a dog and runs after Salem.
07:26 How did he know that the spell would be temporary?
07:29 I have to assume it makes sense because Spooky's spell was intentionally temporary out of sadism.
07:35 But if he's sadistic, why did he make it so that he'd be fine with being very temporary?
07:40 This episode's about Sabrina's aunts feuding with each other over a driving teacher for Hilda
07:45 who is inexplicably a dog Sabrina turned to Spooky of all people to shape-shift for her when she can summon anything.
07:52 While it is another episode about demonizing magic,
07:55 I feel like I'd be lying if I said I didn't appreciate this episode
07:59 because it has magic happen and it's so often that it's entertaining to watch.
08:03 Especially when Hilda chases Zelda when she's driving.
08:06 And so many different things happen.
08:09 It's entertaining to see the aunts feud,
08:12 but it's flanderization to have it happen too often when it was rare in the 70s comic.
08:16 It just goes to show me the show can only be good when Sabrina's not the focus.
08:21 Someone would've used magic to make her a good driver, so the plot wouldn't have happened.
08:27 Sabrina the Animated Series, Episode 42.
08:32 Sabrina's wearing a shark head while giving her a port in biology class.
08:36 There's no way that'd happen.
08:38 I don't remember that.
08:39 She says she never knew biology could be so interesting.
08:43 It sure is convenient that they didn't laugh at her immediately
08:47 and that she thought that wouldn't happen.
08:50 Then she's trapped in the mask and somehow the teacher ignores her instead of helping her.
08:56 At least no one's mocking her when she keeps bumping into things.
09:01 Chloe reveals that it's not Sabrina the students were fawning over.
09:04 Sabrina reassures her that he'll pick them for being the best students.
09:08 Quigley loses his temper with holding a camera, and I like that when the aunts see him he's embarrassed.
09:13 The camera also takes a picture of him and he can't see and embarrasses himself.
09:18 Finally, the show shows off his obsession with taking care of plants.
09:22 Apparently it was flanderized in the comic.
09:24 Which is good because that's more interesting than it being a house worker.
09:29 Then he somehow gets himself tied up with black film and Hilda saves him, making him dizzy.
09:35 Sabrina smartly asks to borrow the camera and he agrees.
09:39 Zelda says she never knows who the teacher might pick because mortals can be unpredictable.
09:44 Why does she think witches aren't?
09:46 Somehow she keeps gasping over and over because people other than her are picked
09:51 when she would've known how unlikely it'd be that she'd be the one picked right after Chloe.
09:57 She takes too long whining to Salem that she wasn't picked.
10:01 He summons a card and she says he's usually full of bad advice and lampshades him referring her to someone else.
10:08 Just have Zelda be the one who refers her to someone else.
10:12 There's no excuse for ever taking his advice again then.
10:16 She goes from deciding not to use the card to being talked to and deciding to say the spell.
10:22 So she has to suffer from a blizzard without winter clothes.
10:27 Salem should've given her some.
10:28 You'd think she'd suffer some ill effects in all that time.
10:33 I guess she casts the heat spell without even knowing it.
10:36 If the card was meant to get her access to the wise warlock,
10:40 there's no reason she'd have to take so long getting to him.
10:43 There's no reason the warlock would waste all day levitating and humming.
10:47 It doesn't look like he has any television, but we haven't been shown that he doesn't.
10:53 We haven't been shown that he does do that all day.
10:57 He then says he's in pain and tells her to move his legs and asks how people sit like this since he's old.
11:03 Based on his unnecessary accent, I hope he's not portrayed in an offensive way.
11:07 Because in a vacuum, the accent gives him charm.
11:10 Much needed charm for a stereotypical wise man sage.
11:15 I would've been wondering why I was expecting to take a character completely seriously in this show.
11:20 I think what annoys me is that it seems like he's only being given this accent because they think it's funny.
11:27 He somehow already knows she's got a broken heart and expects her to walk away to Gipsha.
11:33 Why does he expect her to leave?
11:35 Of course she already knew what was wrong and came for a cure.
11:39 He says he'll tell her what to do and expects her to go on a quest when he could just point to solve her problem.
11:45 He says she has to find a person who never had her heart broken and then she'll get her cure from him.
11:51 I think he doesn't even plan to give her anything.
11:54 He can't show her with a screen someone who never had a heartbreak.
11:58 She says he'd go with her if he really wanted to help her.
12:01 So he agrees to help her.
12:03 I like that she's become cynical as the realistic consequence of Salem and Spooky always leading her wrong and betraying her.
12:09 How else can she become smart?
12:11 He says he'll lay a curse on Slugloaf so it's too bad he won't.
12:14 Sabina brings Jem to the closet and somehow he says she didn't have to kill her.
12:22 And she says she didn't kill her, she just froze her in time.
12:25 Then I have to assume she didn't know she could do this until now.
12:28 Because this could've come in handy.
12:30 She gets to use the TV screen on her chest to get herself to see a memory.
12:34 She says that her parents were telling an audience all the gifts they gave her.
12:38 I assume it's just so that they can show off their wealth in front of people.
12:41 Because if they liked her, they wouldn't send her to boarding school.
12:44 Jem whines that she got the wrong ice cream flavor.
12:48 I expected real heartbreak because her parents are abusive.
12:52 The story would've been less confusing if they said "disappointment" instead of "heartbreak".
12:57 I thought NOW it would be explained that her parents went to Guam without her.
13:01 Then he shows her a memory of Harvey's.
13:03 I always knew his lesson to Sabrina was meant to be that everyone suffered.
13:08 Except people who never got to really live a life because they died right away.
13:11 Harvey gets shown playing an arcade machine for too long.
13:14 And the janitor goes from telling him to give up to giving up and cleaning anyways.
13:21 Somehow he doesn't lift the wire before vacuuming, despite not being blind.
13:25 So the machine gets unplugged and he can't save his high score.
13:29 It's the 2000s and he's still playing at an arcade.
13:32 This has to be an alternate universe where arcades aren't going out of business outside Japan.
13:38 Sabrina says Quigley's too sensible to let heartbreak happen to him.
13:42 What kind of line is that?
13:43 That's victim blaming. How is an anti-witch bigot sensible?
13:48 If he could make a wish to get rid of Sabrina's powers, he would.
13:51 Sabrina has to know that she didn't get picked because she didn't have good enough grades.
13:56 And so that didn't make her sensible.
13:59 Otherwise, it'd be hypocritical of her to say that you have to be non-sensible to get heartbroken.
14:06 What was non-sensible about Harvey refusing to leave the arcade?
14:10 I think Jem would've been disappointed no matter how sensible she was.
14:14 She had no control over which flavor of ice cream she got.
14:18 I'm continuing to question this because the story might've actually agreed with her.
14:22 Quigley's plant grows when he's busy talking on the phone and it dies.
14:27 And he cries because he missed the one moment he had to take a picture of it.
14:31 Only a magic plant would be like this.
14:34 I like the idea that he's at least open-minded of witch stuff to enjoy growing witch plants.
14:39 But I think he said it was Irish instead.
14:42 How am I supposed to enjoy all of their suffering if their suffering is nothing but forced contrivances?
14:48 Then the sage says Hilda's heart is full of ex-boyfriends and shows Sabrina a memory of hers where she was admiring a painting of herself.
14:56 Zelda admired a painting of herself too.
14:59 It's always nice to see episodes that mostly don't focus on Sabrina.
15:03 Zelda puts her hand on Pio's shoulder and holds his hand.
15:06 She says it's not fair of him to go on dating them both.
15:11 She should really be saying "It's not fair of us" because you only have so much money.
15:15 It's nice of one of them to give him money.
15:18 Zelda and Hilda ruin each other's painting portraits.
15:22 Piero hates them and told someone loves them and offers them a lot of money.
15:25 He's smart enough to agree to paint like this from now on.
15:29 He walks away and the ants assume that he's leaving them just because of that for some reason.
15:34 Why would he stop dating them just because of that?
15:37 It looked to me like they were just insecurely jumping to that conclusion.
15:41 Hilda's unfrozen and summons a croissant and eats it.
15:45 And Salem's thrown out of the aquarium and cries in front of Sabrina.
15:49 Why even show us this montage if it won't show us what she saw?
15:54 The sage uses a vibrating back chair.
15:58 And Sabrina says she couldn't find one person who didn't get heartbroken.
16:02 Why did she take so long to say there is no person who didn't get disappointed?
16:07 She says there is no cure, but there is. Just drink a potion to feel better.
16:11 I guess the idea is neither of them wanted to make a brainwashing potion.
16:16 That must be what she wanted.
16:18 Why does it say it's beyond even his powers?
16:21 She was able to brainwash Quigley effortlessly.
16:23 He should say, "It's beyond even my powers to make it so that you'd never be disappointed again."
16:29 Because that would involve changing all the events in your future.
16:33 Maybe he should be written to do that.
16:36 And then the rest of the episode would show her getting bored because she never has any real conflict in her life.
16:41 And she's too stubborn to play video games.
16:44 He tells her to help people to cheer up.
16:47 He shows her aunt hugging after their earlier feud.
16:50 Then he smartly gives her a card and tells her to recommend him to others.
16:55 Chloe tells Sabrina she has a cool bag and the story ends.
16:59 This episode has Sabrina get constantly shown a memory of different people getting disappointed for underwhelmingly petty reasons.
17:06 Which are usually contrived.
17:08 But it's not bad for being mundane because there's so much variety in what's happening that it's interesting.
17:13 And the memories don't last way too long and I never know what's gonna happen in the next scene, so it was always interesting.
17:20 The moral that everyone's had a disappointment was obvious right away, so I don't know why Sabrina kept wasting her time.
17:26 And it's not even technically true.
17:29 Stillborns would still count as people who never got the chance to be disappointed.
17:33 Good thing she went on to say that disappointment's a part of life to clarify the real moral.
17:37 Even if a better moral would've been "You need disappointment or you'll just be bored."
17:42 For once, magic wasn't demonized the whole time.
17:46 Because magic is what God Sabrina had given this experience with the sage.
17:50 And while she was constantly disappointed by it, it didn't come off as outright torturing her this episode.
17:56 She wasn't scared.
17:58 Magic only worked out for the best because she's happy to learn a lesson and feels better about what she was originally sad about.
18:05 So at the end of the day, magic was worth it.
18:08 Why can't every episode be like that?
18:11 It's not enough to get me jealous of her because she still has a much stricter upbringing than I had.