• 10 months ago
Montreal is a vibrant city with a lot to offer first-time visitors and long-time residents alike. But when it comes to tourism tips, it really depends on who you ask. And in the age of artificial intelligence, you'd think getting good advice would be easier than ever. So we asked ChatGPT for what it thinks are the top landmarks worth visiting in the city. It dutifully churned out its response in a matter of seconds. But as it turns out, host and lifelong Montrealer Alex Melki has, shall we say, a very different perspective. Whose tips do you prefer?
Transcript
00:00 Welcome to the vibrant city of Montreal, a city steeped in rich history and adorned with iconic landmarks that tell tales of its past.
00:08 Which you might actually get to see while you're avoiding potholes, or on a construction detour, or enjoying the most bipolar weather in Canada.
00:16 I'm Alex Malky, and we're about to find out what ChadCPT thinks are the top 5 main attractions in Montreal.
00:22 I feel like it's gonna suck.
00:24 Our first stop is Mount Royal, from which the city takes its name.
00:28 This majestic mountain offers breathtaking views and is a symbol of Montreal's heritage.
00:33 Designed by Frederic Law Olmsted, the renowned landscape architect behind New York's Central Park,
00:39 Mount Royal is a beloved retreat for locals and visitors alike.
00:43 I'm gonna stop you right there, because this is already wrong.
00:45 Freddie Law designed Mount Royal Park, not Mount Royal.
00:48 How do you design a mountain?
00:49 And listen, locals wouldn't even call it a mountain, they'd call it a really big hill.
00:53 A hill that when you get to the top of it, you're greeted with three things.
00:57 One, feral tourists all time of year, summer, winter, doesn't matter.
01:00 Giant but adorable raccoons, and admittedly, the best view of the Montreal skyline.
01:06 Now look, it is a bitch to go up those stairs in the summer, but when you get to the top and you see that view, it's worth sweating your ass off for.
01:12 Our next landmark is the iconic Notre Dame Basilica.
01:16 This architectural masterpiece stands as a testament to Montreal's rich religious history.
01:21 Its gothic revival style and vibrant stained glass windows have captivated worshippers and art enthusiasts for centuries.
01:29 I bet you 90% of Montrealers have taken a picture in front of this church, but have never stepped foot inside of it,
01:35 which is a damn shame, because other than being a backdrop of Celine Dion's wedding, which, you know, whatever,
01:40 it's actually beautiful inside, and it is the coolest place to watch a light projector show.
01:46 I'm not really sure how to describe it, but it's dope.
01:48 And here's what you do, you pop into an SQDC, buy yourself some legal edibles, and maybe you have yourself a religious experience.
01:54 The fun kind, not the "died for your sins" kind, you know?
01:57 Crossing over the mighty St. Lawrence River, we find the magnificent Jacques Cartier Bridge.
02:03 Named after the French explorer who claimed Canada for France,
02:07 this iconic bridge has connected the island of Montreal to its south shore since 1930,
02:13 serving as a vital transportation link and a symbol of unity.
02:17 Listen, anybody that calls the Jacques Cartier a landmark has probably never left their hometown, or the West Island.
02:22 It's at best a C-tier Golden Gate Bridge that for some reason the city has decided to slap on a bunch of lights like it's a Christmas tree.
02:29 I don't get it. And listen, they're probably gonna have to rename it in a couple years when JC gets cancelled, so don't get too attached.
02:35 Steeped in history, the Old Port of Montreal is a vibrant district that traces its roots back to the city's early days.
02:42 Originally a bustling trading hub, it now offers a perfect blend of old-world charm and modern entertainment.
02:49 From its cobblestone streets to its waterfront promenades, the Old Port is a testament to Montreal's enduring spirit.
02:55 If I hear the words "cobblestone streets" one more goddamn time, I'm gonna lose my mind.
03:00 The Old Port, and Old Montreal in general, is Europe for people who have never been to Europe, and a very expensive first date.
03:06 I learned that the hard way.
03:08 But listen, if you're gonna be in the Old Port, at least go over a block in Old Montreal, do a little digging, find yourself some cool spots like El PequeƱo or Cauldron, which are conveniently right next to each other.
03:18 Not that sad stretch of sand they call a beach.
03:21 Last but not least, we arrive at the awe-inspiring Olympic Stadium.
03:25 Constructed for the 1976 Summer Olympics, its iconic inclined tower and retractable roof have become symbols of the city.
03:33 Today, the stadium hosts sporting events, concerts, and exhibitions, leaving a lasting legacy of athletic excellence and architectural grandeur.
03:41 Big O? More like big waste of money.
03:43 I'm sorry, that was terrible. I am so sorry.
03:45 But listen, does it look cool? Yes. Objectively, it's awesome. It looks like a giant spaceship.
03:48 Does it do anything? Nah, it's just kinda there, all the time, just staring at you like a giant hairy mole on your face.
03:55 But right next to that hairy mole is the biodome, and the planetarium, and the insectarium, and the botanical garden, all of which are way more worth your time and money.
04:03 And, if you have any more of those edibles left over, now's the time to gobble 'em down.
04:07 Montreal's landmarks stand as pillars of the city's past, present, and future.
04:12 They embody the diverse cultures, the resilience of its people, and the desire to create a city that merges tradition with innovation.
04:20 Join us in Montreal, and immerse yourself in the stories woven within these five magnificent landmarks.
04:26 Discover the magic, embrace the history, and let the spirit of this remarkable city captivate your heart.
04:32 For more information that can actually help you find fun things to do and great places to eat, check out mtlblog.com.
04:37 It's a website. We had to have those before TikTok.
04:41 [music]
04:51 [BLANK_AUDIO]

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