AsiaOne spoke to convicted drug trafficker, Felix*, in Tanah Merah Prison. The 36-year-old shared his story, detailing hardships in life, how he started doing drugs which eventually led to him selling them, as well as the effects drugs have had on him and his family.
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LifestyleTranscript
00:00 A father cannot protect a child.
00:04 To me, he's not a father.
00:06 [MUSIC]
00:16 [MUSIC]
00:26 My name is Felix.
00:39 I'm 36 years old.
00:41 My sentence is six years, three months for drug trafficking.
00:46 I'm in prison already two years, two months.
00:49 [MUSIC]
00:52 Droid gang society is very normal in Malaysia to me, to everyone actually.
01:00 Starting getting near drug, how we learn how to use drug at all.
01:05 This is something to sell.
01:07 When you get not enough money, yeah, you should sell for free drug to smoke.
01:14 This is how I get into trafficking.
01:16 I sell my drug.
01:19 I feel that I get more money and more money.
01:22 In three weeks, maybe 20K.
01:25 Yeah, it's very fast money and you won't realize the danger is there.
01:31 You will continue, sell and sell until the day you get caught.
01:36 Then the whole world is dropped in front of me.
01:40 [MUSIC]
01:45 When you smoke drug, you don't even know the danger is there.
01:49 You don't even know how much you're going to die.
01:53 That is getting to hang you.
01:56 When you get caught, it's been too late already.
02:03 There's nothing to scare, it's going to hang.
02:08 [MUSIC]
02:14 I'm actually born and raised in a complicated and dysfunctional family.
02:21 My father is a gambler.
02:24 He have a lot of loans,
02:28 so need to pay every day come home drunk.
02:33 Then you argue, arguing with my mom.
02:37 At last, she left us.
02:40 That time, I'm 13 years old.
02:42 I stopped studying because my mother's salary is only RM600 a month.
02:48 How to raise up three kids, me and my two younger brothers?
02:54 In my thinking, I have to stop school, stop studying, come out and work.
03:00 So how did your wife find out that you got caught?
03:03 Oh.
03:07 She...
03:08 First, she don't know I'm related to drugs at all.
03:12 Even from start until I married.
03:16 [SIGHS]
03:19 The day I get caught, she don't even know.
03:25 After 48 hours, then the police let my wife know that I get caught.
03:31 At that time, my daughter only 8 months old.
03:37 She just getting know how to walk and then I get inside.
03:43 This is my first child.
03:46 I love my daughter very, very much.
03:49 After I get caught, the feeling is...
03:55 lost, sad.
03:59 Like a knife inside my heart.
04:06 I cannot describe the pain, seriously.
04:12 On the day my daughter come and visit me,
04:18 she want to show me her finger that she getting bit by her friend at school, child care.
04:30 You know, I'm not even care to protect her.
04:37 What kind of father is this?
04:43 A father cannot protect a child.
04:48 To me, he's not a father.
04:51 And this remind me, I think to the end of the world.
04:57 How important family is, how important my daughter is.
05:05 [MUSIC]
05:12 Have you thought about what you want to do when you are released?
05:15 Yeah, first, I renounce.
05:19 Second, study.
05:22 So, strengthen my root.
05:25 And go out, maybe open a shop or sell chicken rice shop or whatever.
05:31 I need to get a certification to go to ITE to learn more.
05:36 Have you shared your plans with your wife?
05:38 No.
05:40 Because I haven't had success.
05:43 I shared about a lot of planning before to my wife, but none of that is done.
05:51 So, this time I need to do different.
05:55 I need to do my best.
05:57 I need to show her my success.
06:00 I don't dare to let her down anymore.
06:05 So, what advice do you have for those who think about going down the same path of drugs,
06:09 or want to traffic drugs?
06:11 Don't even start drugs.
06:15 When you getting start, smoke, you will sell, step by step.
06:20 Second thing is, you will get into a lot of trouble.
06:26 People around you, everything trouble.
06:29 Family trouble, money trouble.
06:32 My advice is, don't even get into drugs.
06:35 Because you cannot control drugs.
06:38 Every time, it's the drugs that control you.
06:40 [Music]
06:47 [Music]
06:49 [BLANK_AUDIO]