• 8 months ago
Eid Par Mustafa Or Murtaza Chaudhry Bane Hoshyarian Ke Mehman, Haroon Ke Sawal Laye Hansi Ka Toofan
Transcript
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02:04 Then I heard, "You got the wrong number."
02:07 I had put the number in Parvez Rasheed's room.
02:09 You earned so much fame in Karachi.
02:17 You're a household name on TV. People watch you.
02:19 You also get views in millions. People like you a lot.
02:23 Who named this octopus? Why is it called octopus?
02:26 The best thing about this octopus is that it has a brain in its tentacles.
02:32 - Okay. - And we still don't know
02:35 why it's genes don't match with the rest of the biological diversity.
02:40 You've answered this question genuinely right
02:44 - in terms of science. - Sir.
02:46 But the answer is that it has a big puss.
02:48 So, it's proved that it's called octopus.
02:52 - Yes. - It's proved.
02:53 You must have seen a lot of Eid celebrations in your life.
02:56 And I want to ask you a question in that regard.
02:59 Why is it written Prince behind the motorcycles?
03:02 Sir, it's written Prince behind the motorcycles.
03:07 He says that he saw people riding a bike on Shahryaf Faisal
03:10 which is a famous road in Karachi.
03:13 He asked the people what their feet were for.
03:17 They said that it's for their feet.
03:19 - You're riding a bike in Karachi. - They put a gear.
03:24 It's written Prince behind the motorcycle.
03:25 - They also go there. - They put a gear.
03:27 Because they see a car with a father's angel on it.
03:30 When they see a father's angel, they put a gear.
03:32 There are some obvious things
03:33 but we can't find the answer to them.
03:35 - For example, this is Prince. - Yes.
03:37 Secondly, you can see that in our barber shops
03:40 there are nine such pictures.
03:41 - They don't know who they are. - Who are they?
03:43 - I have a question. - They are everywhere.
03:46 They don't know who they are, where they are from.
03:48 They don't know anything. They've been seeing them since childhood.
03:50 There are many intellectuals here
03:52 who are solving these mysteries.
03:53 So, I have a question.
03:55 They say that Eid came but they didn't get their lover.
03:58 So, what is the connection between Eid and the arrival of a lover?
04:01 Actually, the house is empty on that day.
04:03 Have you ever met a fan
04:10 that you were surprised to see what kind of a person he is?
04:12 Once, a Qazi from the late Jamaat-e-Islami
04:16 who is the head of the Jamaat.
04:20 We used to make fun of him.
04:21 People are poor.
04:22 Yes, yes.
04:24 - They are not like that. - Yes.
04:25 He was a very interesting and a very nice person.
04:28 Once, we were going in a lift and Qazi was standing in front of us.
04:30 He saw us and we saw him and we started running.
04:33 Qazi also lifted us.
04:35 He said, "I won't spare you today."
04:37 He is a very interesting person.
04:38 It has happened many times that we met him and he said, "You?"
04:41 Today, we will show the real face of both of them to the public.
04:45 - Okay. - Because Murtaza is very serious.
04:47 He is serious. He speaks the truth.
04:49 - So, we will take good advice from him. - Okay.
04:52 And we will take the next advice from Mustafa.
04:56 Okay? So, present your problems.
04:59 Two commanders have come from Karachi.
05:00 - First of all, Fahre, tell us your problem. - Of course.
05:03 Sir, my problem is that even a barking dog doesn't bark at me.
05:08 The dog is dumb.
05:09 - First of all.. - It doesn't even bark.
05:11 - Okay. - So, advice.
05:13 You are saying that a dog will bark at you.
05:16 - It doesn't bark. - It doesn't bark.
05:18 Basically, she wants to say that a dog that barks
05:22 - doesn't bark. - It doesn't bark.
05:23 - It gets quiet when it sees it. - It doesn't bark.
05:24 Do you have a string card for dogs?
05:27 It's written on the back, 'Cooperate'.
05:30 - I will tell you that the dogs that are coming now.. - Yes.
05:34 - They are like.. - The ones that fight.
05:37 - They are sweet dogs. - Sweet dogs.
05:38 - They are light. - Sweet dogs.
05:39 - Sweet dogs. - How?
05:42 Sweet dogs.
05:43 Sir, I am very fond of dogs.
05:49 - I have a lot. - Okay.
05:50 Once, I imported a dog.
05:52 - It's a breed of St. Bernard. - Okay.
05:54 - It's a lot. - So..
05:56 - It's a winter dog and it's Karachi's summer. - Okay.
05:59 I thought that it's an animal.
06:02 How would it know that it's hot outside?
06:04 I told him to cover his face with a blanket.
06:08 - He thought that it's snowing outside. - Because..
06:11 - It's a winter dog. - He thought that it's bigger than me.
06:13 Goga, what's your problem?
06:16 Sir, my problem is that I don't have hair.
06:20 - You don't have hair on your ears? - You get a nose job.
06:23 - What's your problem, sir? - I don't have hair on my ears.
06:27 Sir, if you get hair on your ears, get a nose job.
06:30 - This is a nice advice. - This reminds me of a friend of mine
06:33 who is a filmmaker. Go and meet him.
06:37 - Okay. - I have met the most unique person in the world.
06:39 I went to meet him.
06:41 I went there and he was sitting there.
06:43 In a short while, his ear fell off.
06:46 - What? - His ear fell off?
06:47 His ear fell off. I thought that I might have made a mistake.
06:50 He fell off his ear.
06:52 - Sir.. - This is called an earworm.
06:56 Yes.
06:57 - He had asymmetrical ears. - Okay.
07:01 He did this and set it.
07:04 I thought that he won't see it now.
07:06 He will feel bad. So, I will see it in his eyes.
07:08 But I couldn't hear him.
07:11 There was a moment when I saw him in the same moment
07:15 when his ear fell off.
07:16 Sir, a good advice is that if he can't hear anything
07:22 - then apply hair growth oil. - Yes.
07:24 - Apply hair growth oil. - Yes.
07:25 If he can't hear anything, then slap him.
07:28 He will say, "I came to the shop early in the morning."
07:31 "Marry the one who is standing there. I will marry you."
07:33 - You tell us your problem. - Yes, mine is a serious one.
07:38 Tell us something else.
07:41 My problem is that the tyres of my car have got a worm.
07:45 - What? - She is an Urdu teacher.
07:47 You are a very bad teacher.
07:50 I think your car's tyres eat more sweets.
07:54 Okay, good advice.
07:56 And then the next advice.
07:57 - The tyres have got a worm. - Yes.
07:59 They have got a worm.
08:00 Sir, his car is always standing.
08:03 If someone scolds him, he will say, "Go, your car will get a worm."
08:07 The context and back story is that Irza has bought a car for himself.
08:11 But it doesn't drive.
08:13 - Then it is better to get a worm. - Yes.
08:16 - What should I do? - You should get a worm.
08:18 - You should get a worm. - And let it be.
08:21 It is a creature. It doesn't eat anything.
08:25 - It eats tyres. - It has been eating tyres for 20 years.
08:29 Irza's car was so small.
08:32 One day, he started it.
08:33 The car was so small that he was telling the monkey, "Sushant, hold my hand."
08:37 Hold his hand.
08:38 Irza's car was standing at home for so long
08:42 that when she touched it to open the door
08:45 the car made a sound.
08:46 'Oh no!'
08:47 The car was standing for so long that it was asking the monkey
08:51 to open the door.
08:53 When Irza started going towards the car
08:59 the car started saying, "Come, you worm."
09:01 It is so old and famous that it has got a worm.
09:06 It is so old and famous that when you go near it
09:08 it says, "I am free."
09:10 Irza's car is so old that when you drive it
09:14 it makes smoke.
09:16 Irza's car is so old that the cat gave birth to a baby.
09:27 It was standing on the ground for so long
09:31 that it was asking the monkey, "Sushant, hold my hand."
09:34 It was standing on the ground for so long
09:36 that it was asking the monkey, "Sushant, hold my hand."
09:38 It is so old that the car was saying, "Greetings, aunt."
09:42 It is so old that when you go to apply oil on the car
09:50 it says, "Wait, let me brush my teeth."
09:52 It is so old that it happens after driving for a kilometre.
09:57 The car is so old that it has been parked in a hospital parking lot.
10:03 It is getting dialysis every day.
10:05 It is so old that it makes a sound inside, "Sell it."
10:10 Oh, man!
10:12 It is so old that it says, "I made the cars after seeing me."
10:15 It is so old that it says, "I missed your uncle."
10:20 It is so old that it says, "Let me get my money."
10:27 "First, let me do this. Then, let me do that."
10:33 Viewers, there is a small break.
10:34 Don't go anywhere. We will meet again after the break.
10:36 "Oh, my beloved."
10:42 "I am dead."
10:43 [laughter]

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