Multiple romantic or sexual partners: the real story || Acharya Prashant (2020)

Acharya Prashant

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Transcript

00:00 Namaskar Acharya ji.

00:06 We are sitting in a lawn and we are surrounded by rabbits all around.

00:12 Man has made attempts throughout history to transcend its animal nature and one of the

00:18 things has been it trying to be stable in its sexual relationships.

00:27 Such a thing is not found in animals, we do not have any compulsion or pressure to be

00:34 loyal not be infidel.

00:38 What is your take in the concept of having multiple partners or not having any moral

00:48 or cultural pressure to engage sexually or romantically with any one person throughout

00:54 the life?

00:55 Multiple partners is too much, let's begin with one partner.

01:04 Why do you need a partner at all?

01:09 Now I am not taking a position, I am asking a question.

01:13 Why do you need a partner in the first place?

01:17 You need a partner because you feel a certain vacancy, right?

01:24 You feel a certain urge, a feeling of incompleteness.

01:34 You are looking for something and you feel that that which you are looking for will be

01:37 provided by the person you are relating to, the one you are partnering.

01:45 How do you succeed?

01:50 If you succeed then why do you need another partner and if you don't succeed why do you

01:56 need another partner?

02:02 The whole thing does not have so much of a moral angle to it.

02:08 Go ahead and have 40,000 partners.

02:14 Be related to 10, 20, 30 people in whichever way you want to.

02:26 Have a platonic relationship, have an actively sexual relationship, go ahead and try all

02:31 of that.

02:33 If any of that gives you contentment, does it?

02:42 If it gives you contentment, go ahead.

02:47 Here is an early warning, it won't, you will be wasting your time.

02:52 Forget about multiple partners, even those who with all loyalty stick to just one partner

03:03 find that they are not getting what they wanted out of that one partner.

03:09 So the question is not one partner versus multiple partners.

03:14 The question is whether any of these partnerships are any good.

03:24 Are these any good?

03:27 And if they really are good, who can stop you from partnering the deity of your choice?

03:38 If one person or a group of persons is really able to give you that which would fulfill

03:45 your life, then you just cannot be stopped.

03:52 You would say I am prepared to lay down my life but you cannot stop me from being with

03:58 that person.

04:04 Obviously these flings are blind attempts at getting from people what people cannot

04:23 give and using ways to reach destinations that those ways cannot reach.

04:37 When you say one has multiple partners, there is an obvious sexual connotation to it.

04:46 One is relating sexually to many people.

04:51 Relate sexually to one person, relate sexually to many person, will sex give you what you

04:55 want?

05:01 Have sex with 10 persons or have sex with one person 10 times.

05:10 Did you get what you really set out to get?

05:19 So the ones who are in all fidelity sticking to one partner need not feel any kind of moral

05:26 superiority over the ones who are engaged in the internet of relationships, the whole

05:38 mishmash, this connected to that, that connected to that and this connected to that, that whole

05:43 network, both are failing in their attempt.

05:53 Both want something that is very very deep but both are trying to get that deep something

06:02 using very shallow means, very shallow means.

06:07 The body is a very shallow way to get that which your consciousness desperately craves

06:17 for and remember all your relationships are deeply your attempts to fill an inner void.

06:31 The consciousness is trembling, it is wounded, it is incomplete, it lacks a huge part of

06:45 itself rather it lacks its own center and therefore it stumbles from place to place,

06:55 knocks from door to door hoping to get some kind of relief from somewhere.

07:09 Multiple partners are these feeble and fruitless knocks on several multiple doors.

07:22 That does not mean that knocking on just one door is better than knocking on several doors.

07:27 It merely means that whether you knock on one door or on several doors you will return

07:33 disappointed, you will not get what you want through the physical or sexual route, it is

07:40 not possible.

07:45 So if you are someone who is a serial relator, one relationship after the other or several

07:55 relationships at a time, whatever, one and the same thing really, you must tell yourself

08:05 that you really have not a physical but a spiritual urge and therefore you should stop

08:13 your mad nonsensical method of looking for the ultimate in some man or woman.

08:22 You will not get it there.

08:27 You will have to find it using other means.

08:30 You will have to find it in wisdom literature, you will have to find it in a deep understanding

08:37 of life, you will find it in a love that is far more inclusive, a love that is more pervasive.

08:53 You talked of the rabbits, was it in this discussion itself?

09:00 Somebody said it was such a beautiful quote that a part of your consciousness remains

09:07 unawakened until you fall in love with an animal and all that you are looking for is

09:17 some sexy woman.

09:21 Chances are very feeble that you will get it there.

09:27 Were it possible to get it there, millions and billions would have obtained it.

09:41 So sit down with yourself and honestly question yourself what is it that I really want?

09:49 Another man, another woman, is that what I want or is it something deeper?

09:54 And once you receive the answer, don't unhear it, don't unsee it, don't avoid or ignore

10:05 it, the answer is there, writ large on the wall, inner wall.

10:11 Now act as per your understanding.

10:15 Indeed Acharya ji painted a hopeless picture that one is not going to get it in women in

10:25 partnerships and I have tried to say that it has to be sought in wisdom literature in

10:33 relations that are inclusive.

10:34 Why is it that it is received through certain things and it is not received?

10:40 No, you see, when I say it has to be an inclusive way of relating to the universe, obviously

10:47 that does not exclude men or women.

10:52 When I say that your love has to include even animals and plants and ecologies, then do

11:00 I mean that your love would exclude women or that a woman's love would exclude men?

11:08 Obviously not.

11:10 But then this is pathological.

11:13 Sticking to a woman or sticking to a man, inwardly aiming for his or her genitals is

11:23 sick, it stings.

11:28 And when you are fed up with one set of genitals, then you hunt for another set, makes no sense,

11:40 bears no fruit.

11:47 There are beautiful ways of relating to men, relating to women, relate them in higher ways,

11:58 relate to them in higher ways.

12:03 I am not a body hater.

12:07 I am just clear on what the body can and what it cannot give.

12:14 There are certain things for which the body is indeed useful and there are certain things

12:19 which cannot come via the body.

12:25 Once we are done with this, you know I would be rushing out to the tennis court.

12:32 That's something my body can give me.

12:37 It can win me a great point.

12:40 It cannot win me realization.

12:46 I need a healthy and good body to serve an ace, but my body will not render me salvation.

13:01 On the tennis court, love all is just a score, at best.

13:09 That's the utmost the body can give me.

13:12 Love all and that love all is so very transitory and

13:22 ephemeral.

13:23 Very soon it changes to 15 love.

13:28 That's your multiple partner thing.

13:33 Love all is gone.

13:34 Now it's 15 love.

13:35 If physical nearness happens smoothly, incidentally,

14:04 as a result of spiritual nearness, then it is unavoidable.

14:12 But only then must it be unavoidable.

14:20 Physical nearness has to be the tail of the elephant.

14:24 Are you getting it?

14:28 Once the entire elephant has passed through, only then you must see the little tail.

14:38 Only that much importance it must have.

14:44 Instead of that, the sexual aspect becomes the elephant.

14:50 As far as the real, truthful, spiritual aspect is concerned, you keep waiting for the tail

15:02 to come and when you come to the rear of the animal, you realize it is tail-less.

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