We did NOT wish for these films! Welcome to WatchMojo and today we’re counting down our picks for the cringiest, most yawn-worthy, or just plain ill-advised movies in Disney’s live-action catalog.
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00 I'm Artemis Fowl, and I'm a criminal mastermind.
00:04 Welcome to WatchMojo, and today we're counting down our picks for the cringiest, most yawn-worthy,
00:10 or just plain ill-advised movies in Disney's live-action catalog.
00:13 John, we saved your life.
00:15 I'm not me anymore.
00:17 I'm a hardware store.
00:20 Number 20.
00:21 Peter Pan and Wendy.
00:22 Much like its titular character, 1953's Peter Pan never gets old.
00:26 It's the kind of timeless classic that never needed a live-action version.
00:30 Or should we say, another one?
00:32 Sadly, Peter Pan and Wendy plays it too safe to stand out, but is too different to cash
00:37 in on the nostalgia, leading to a remake that's as lost as Peter's namesake crew.
00:41 Faith, trust, and pixie dust.
00:43 No.
00:44 No pixie dust this time.
00:46 No magic.
00:47 No tricks.
00:48 Just a little help from my friends.
00:52 It's not offensively boring or disrespectful to the source material.
00:55 It's just frustratingly forgettable.
00:57 Which, coming from a franchise as beloved as Peter Pan, is arguably worse.
01:01 If you want your daily dose of faith, trust, and pixie dust, you're better off revisiting
01:06 the original animated film.
01:07 I really thought you'd be happy here.
01:10 Yes, I did too.
01:13 But Neverland's not exactly what I was expecting.
01:16 Number 19.
01:17 Beverly Hills Chihuahua.
01:18 Most of the time, a talking dog is an easy recipe for some heartwarming family hijinks.
01:23 But this isn't just any dog.
01:25 It's a stuck-up, pampered chihuahua from Beverly Hills.
01:27 No, the movie doesn't get any more clever than that.
01:40 While Chloe's Mexican-themed adventure has some fun cultural touches, the film never
01:44 rises above obvious jokes and tired plot points.
01:47 The lack of originality is hard to stomach.
01:49 At a certain point, it genuinely feels like they stumbled upon the name "Beverly Hills
01:52 Chihuahua" and reverse-engineered a whole movie from there.
01:56 It's beyond us how something this disappointing got not just one, but two sequels.
02:11 Number 18.
02:12 A Wrinkle in Time.
02:13 This one hurts.
02:14 On paper, 2018's A Wrinkle in Time should have been a slam dunk.
02:18 Disney invested a lot into the production, securing A-list talent and top-tier visual
02:23 effects.
02:24 But sadly, they didn't put quite as much care into fine-tuning the script.
02:27 To put it bluntly, the movie doesn't land emotional beats as much as it pounds them
02:30 over your head.
02:31 And that's disappointing in any context, let alone when you're adapting a beloved
02:44 children's story.
02:45 That's expected more, and they said as much with their wallets.
02:48 Despite an all-star cast and some magical source material, this is one wrinkle that's
02:53 better left smoothed out at your movie marathon.
03:04 Number 17.
03:06 The Shaggy Dog.
03:07 At a time when Tim Allen was Disney's silver bullet at the box office, this movie single-handedly
03:11 proved that the dog days were not over after all.
03:14 Credit where it's due.
03:15 Tim Allen's definitely committed to the bit.
03:21 However, the lackluster script makes his bizarre method acting feel more uncomfortable than
03:32 funny.
03:33 Throw in some hand-fisted emotional beats and a metric ton of bad puns, and you have
03:36 a movie that's head-scratching even for young audiences.
03:38 Look, if you enjoy seeing a grown man chase cats, groom himself, and bark at his family,
03:43 then Shaggy Dog is totally for you.
03:45 If not, then you'll agree this dud belongs in the doghouse.
03:48 Permanently.
03:49 Number 16.
03:57 John Carter.
03:59 Where do you even begin with this one?
04:11 John Carter is often cited as one of the most expensive films ever made, and coincidentally,
04:16 also one of the biggest bombs.
04:17 After seeing the film, it's easy to see why.
04:20 The John Carter movie plays like a shameless melting pot of boring sci-fi cliches and questionable
04:25 acting decisions.
04:26 Sure, the visual effects are good, but no amount of CG can disguise the paper-thin story.
04:38 Its obvious audiences rejected this for a reason, and the most embarrassing part?
04:42 This was supposed to launch a whole franchise.
04:44 Suffice it to say, there's no sequel in sight, and that's definitely for the best.
04:49 Number 15.
04:50 Alice Through the Looking Glass.
04:52 Sequels are never easy, but surely Disney could have done better than Alice Through
04:55 the Looking Glass.
04:57 This soulless follow-up revisits Wonderland, but forgets to include the "wonder" part
05:01 of its name.
05:02 Instead, Through the Looking Glass is juvenile, overly loud, and a complete butchering of
05:06 Lewis Carroll's original fairy tale.
05:18 There's really not much redeeming about it at all.
05:20 Not the performances, not the script, and certainly not the story.
05:23 And we use that term loosely.
05:25 For the most part, the entire plot is just Helena Bonham Carter running around screaming
05:29 at everything.
05:30 So after seeing the finished film for ourselves, we don't even blame her.
05:43 Number 14.
05:44 Dumbo.
05:45 This, folks, is a textbook example of how you don't remake a cherished film.
05:49 Despite nearly doubling the original's runtime, 2019's Dumbo fails to add anything of note
05:53 to the story, characters, or message.
05:56 If anything, it does the opposite.
06:07 Rather than worthwhile addendums, the additional material only succeeds in making the film
06:11 unrecognizable from the classic it's named after.
06:14 Which then begs the question, if they were going to change so much, why bother remaking
06:18 Dumbo in the first place?
06:24 There's no clear answer to be found in these dry two hours.
06:27 Dumbo may be able to fly, but this live-action remake sure can't.
06:31 Number 13.
06:32 Prince of Persia, The Sands of Time.
06:34 Don't let the name fool you.
06:35 This isn't the Prince of Persia.
06:37 It's the King of Cringe.
06:39 Without even touching its infamously whitewashed cast.
06:42 This video game adaptation has no idea who it's trying to appeal to.
06:50 Is it for fans of the games?
06:57 Newcomers?
06:58 Families?
06:59 Adults?
07:00 Based on the ho-hum pacing and disappointing box office, it would seem Sands of Time chose
07:04 none of the above.
07:05 Without the fan service to bring in diehards, or the thrills to attract casuals, Prince
07:09 of Persia goes down as an inexcusable average misfire.
07:13 It wouldn't hurt so bad if this were an original IP, but a brand like Prince of Persia deserved
07:17 much, much better.
07:29 Number 12.
07:30 G-Force.
07:31 Stop us if you've heard this one before.
07:33 To save their failing department, a team of specially trained operatives go undercover
07:37 to expose a villain's scheme and save the world.
07:39 In a nutshell, that's G-Force.
07:40 It ticks the box of every single eye-rolling spy trope of the last century.
07:54 The only difference?
07:55 The G in G-Force stands for guinea pigs.
07:58 We wish we were kidding.
07:59 The film's central joke gets old fast, turning what could have been a lighthearted adventure
08:04 into a mindlessly grating hour and a half.
08:06 That's right, it's only 90 minutes, but boy does it feel longer.
08:10 Trust us, G-Force is better left at the pet store.
08:22 Number 11.
08:23 Kazam.
08:24 For all his charm and skills on the court, Shaquille O'Neal isn't exactly raking in
08:40 Oscars.
08:41 Although, to be fair, it's hard to say if anyone could have made Kazam work.
08:44 Poorly scripted, laughably acted, and mind-numbingly uninspired, the movie follows the titular
08:49 genie offering three wishes to a teenage boy, only Kazam doesn't come out of a lamp.
08:54 He's conjured from a magical boombox.
08:57 That's a good summation of how seriously this movie takes itself.
09:07 While there is some novelty in watching Shaquille O'Neal dance around a movie set, it's not
09:11 always for the right reasons.
09:12 See, the only way to truly enjoy Kazam is to laugh at it, not with it.
09:17 Number 10.
09:18 Pinocchio.
09:19 Pinocchio's nose would grow if he said anyone was asking for another version of this story,
09:23 especially one as lifeless as this.
09:25 Lacking any charm, wit, or heart, the only compelling question brought up in this unnecessary
09:30 update is, "Why bother?"
09:42 In a way, it's almost funny.
09:43 Pinocchio went from a wooden boy in a heartfelt film to a real kid in a wooden movie.
09:48 Whether it's the tone, the acting, or the direction, everything about this version of
09:52 Pinocchio feels like a disservice to the original tale.
09:55 When you can't even wring a good performance out of Tom Hanks, you know you've done something
09:59 very, very wrong.
10:09 Number 9.
10:10 Blank Check.
10:11 This 1994 comedy film has an interesting enough premise.
10:14 A preteen boy gets access to $1 million in illegally obtained money, which he uses for
10:19 a days-long shopping spree.
10:24 Yet many found this premise was undercut by a film, where the characters are drawn together
10:28 by contrived events and questionable logic that aren't close to being fun.
10:32 Add to that the conflict between the implied message of "money isn't everything" and
10:36 the sheer indulgence on display, and what we have is a bizarre mess of a flick.
10:45 Number 8.
10:46 The Lone Ranger.
10:47 Oh, goodness, what a creative misfire.
10:49 The Lone Ranger acts as a reimagining of the famed radio drama Hero, an ex-Texas Ranger
10:54 who hunts down outlaws but never shoots to kill.
11:06 Unfortunately, the film often veers from big-scale action and character interplay straight into
11:12 unsettling and even horrific imagery, making for a less than pleasant experience.
11:16 On top of that, the film suffers due to its overlong runtime, overly convoluted character
11:21 motivations, clear disrespect for the source material, and rather dour aesthetics.
11:25 And let's not even get into Johnny Depp being cast to play a Native American character.
11:36 Number 7.
11:37 College Road Trip.
11:38 Some road trips just aren't worth the effort.
11:40 That's how we imagine many critics and viewers felt when watching College Road Trip, which
11:44 starred Martin Lawrence and Raven-Symoné as father-daughter duo James and Melanie Porter.
11:50 Though there is definitely merit in the film's message about respecting life's choices,
12:00 it's undermined by the creative team's decision to focus on the broad comedy and
12:05 slapstick elements.
12:06 This might have been acceptable and even entertaining in its own right, but alas, the humor was
12:10 underwhelming at best.
12:23 Number 6.
12:24 Snow Dogs.
12:25 Aren't Disney and dogs meant to go hand in hand?
12:27 The film follows Cuba Gooding Jr. as Miami dentist Ted Brooks, who heads to Alaska to
12:32 claim an inheritance, seven Siberian huskies, and a border collie.
12:45 The fish-out-of-water storyline that follows is about as bog-standard as it gets, complete
12:49 with contrived, life-affirming scenes and a more-than-healthy helping of slapstick sequences.
12:55 Gooding's campy portrayal of Brooks, the embarrassing quality of the dialogue, and
12:58 the film's overall lack of substance only hammer home how little Snow Dogs has to offer
13:03 its audience.
13:12 Number 5.
13:14 Artemis Fowl.
13:26 Instead of a trailblazing success, this book-to-movie adaptation lives on as a cautionary tale,
13:31 and rightfully so.
13:32 Quite frankly, there's too many hiccups to list them all.
13:35 The world-building is a mess, the plot is incomprehensible, the visual effects are unconvincing,
13:40 we could go on.
13:41 Evidently, it takes a whole village to screw up a story like Artemis Fowl.
13:45 Then again, this is pretty much Artemis Fowl in name alone.
13:48 As if to prove it, the movie garnered such poor reception, it was yanked off of Disney
13:52 Plus entirely in 2023.
14:05 Not even Disney wants to remember it anymore.
14:07 Hey, it's certainly Fowl, just not the Fowl Disney wanted.
14:11 Number 4.
14:12 Inspector Gadget.
14:13 We imagine this could have used an inspector of its own.
14:15 Based on the much-loved animated series, Inspector Gadget presents itself as a live-action rendition
14:20 of how John Brown, a hapless security guard, became the clumsy yet dedicated cyborg.
14:26 It's strange, then, that the special effects were favoured over a script and characters
14:38 with depth, wit, a consistent tone, or even simple charm.
14:42 This is especially baffling considering the respectable cast, which included Matthew Broderick
14:46 of War Games and Ferris Bueller's Day Off fame.
14:49 They had a good license and solid actors.
14:52 What happened?
15:01 Number 3.
15:02 The Santa Claus 3.
15:03 The Escape Clause.
15:04 And thus, the Santa Claus trilogy ends with a whimper.
15:07 The Escape Clause ostensibly deals with the trickster Jack Frost, attempting to usurp
15:11 Santa Claus' position.
15:22 However, the film plays out as a string of middling gags, callbacks to the first film,
15:29 and even a drawn-out take on a "It's a Wonderful Lifestyle" alternate universe
15:33 story.
15:34 All of which might be fun, if not married to a witless script that doesn't even come
15:37 close to making the Escape Clause as endearing as its predecessors.
15:50 Number 2.
15:51 Old Dogs.
15:52 In this alleged comedy, Robin Williams and John Travolta play long-time business partners
15:56 who are left to care for twin children while on the verge of a major business deal.
16:00 Thus, they learn about the value of family and the meaning of friendship, while the audience
16:03 bears witness to heavily choreographed, increasingly unamusing physical gags.
16:17 Old Dogs throws out everything from a medication mix-up to Seth Green getting fondled by a
16:22 gorilla, and yet mixes up its intent by adhering to its badly plotted main story.
16:26 Poor writing plus a surplus of hit-and-miss gags?
16:29 A winning combination.
16:51 Number 1.
16:52 Mr. Magoo.
16:53 It's hard to dredge up anything as uninspired and creatively misguided as this.
16:57 Leslie Nielsen, famed star of such films as Forbidden Planet and Airplane, was sadly called
17:02 upon to fill the lead role in this adaptation of the Mr. Magoo cartoon.
17:15 The film follows Quincy Magoo in a series of misadventures that largely play off his
17:19 nearsightedness, which besides being one-note and unfunny, also attracted the ire of blind
17:24 and nearsighted communities.
17:25 That Mr. Magoo only earned $21.4 million of its $30 million budget and was pulled from
17:31 theaters after two weeks is not a surprise.
17:45 What's the worst Disney film you've ever been tricked into seeing in theaters?
17:48 Let us know in the comments below!
17:58 Thanks for watching!
18:05 (upbeat music)
18:08 (upbeat music)