There are definitely some Disney duds! Welcome to WatchMojo, and today we’re counting down our picks for the most forgettable Disney movies, whether they are live action or animated.
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00:00All my horses, all my men to the rescue!
00:03Welcome to WatchMojo.
00:05And today, we're counting down our picks for the most
00:08forgettable Disney movies, whether they
00:10are live action or animated.
00:12However, we won't be counting made
00:15for TV or direct-to-video movies or any made by Pixar,
00:18as those are worth their own list.
00:21Go, go, gadget, oil sling.
00:22That's not oil, it's toothpaste!
00:30Number 30, Wish.
00:31Magic is forbidden by anyone other than Magnifico,
00:35who is also the only one authorized to grant wishes.
00:39Jeez, what a crummy way to celebrate 100 years.
00:43Wish celebrated Disney's centennial
00:45as the company was founded back in October of 1923.
00:48The movie had some fun ideas to honor tradition,
00:51like bringing back traditional animation,
00:54referencing classic films, and even telling the origin
00:57story of the wishing star.
00:59But like many movies as of late, it
01:01favors blatant nostalgia over genuine storytelling.
01:04It's recycled Disney made by a focus group,
01:07and the bizarre art style was grossly off-putting
01:10for a lot of viewers.
01:11It looked more like a cheap YouTube video, not
01:13a $200 million Disney movie.
01:16Add in yet another quirky, quippy protagonist
01:19and some lackluster songs, and you
01:21have yourself one bad birthday.
01:25Ah, everything is fine.
01:28Number 29, The Lion King.
01:30Be prepared.
01:36By the time The Lion King rolled around,
01:38we were all pretty much done with these remakes.
01:41Everyone saw them as blatant cash cows made solely
01:44to profit on the goodwill of the originals
01:46and without an ounce of their creativity.
01:49Well, that certainly applies to The Lion King as well.
01:52This is, we have The Lion King at home,
01:55a milquetoast, forgettable, and lifeless iteration
01:58of something much better.
02:00The animation was also truly jarring,
02:02as talking animals work much better
02:04through traditional animation than they
02:06do through lifelike CGI.
02:08Even Elton John hated it, ultimately disowning the film
02:11and criticizing its music.
02:13It's a meaningless film that has no right to exist.
02:16Long live the king.
02:22Number 28, Brother Bear.
02:23No, I mean I'm not a bear.
02:25I hate bears.
02:26Well, gee, eh?
02:28You're one big beaver.
02:29No kidding.
02:31This movie came out just four months after Finding Nemo.
02:34What better representation is there of Disney's Dark Age?
02:37The company found itself in a wicked slump
02:40in the early 2000s, and Brother Bear
02:42is emblematic of its problems.
02:44It's not that these movies were terrible.
02:46They were just so thoroughly averaged
02:48that they portrayed the quality guarantee that the Disney
02:51stamp usually offered.
02:52It's generic to a fault, featuring boring characters,
02:55a bland story, and possibly the most forgettable soundtrack
02:59in the Disney canon.
03:00We don't think Brother Bear is anyone's favorite Disney movie.
03:03Let's just say that.
03:04Yeah, well, better than being stuck
03:06in the middle of nowhere with you and your blabbering mouth.
03:09I'm lost.
03:10I can't find my mommy.
03:11Will you take me to the Salmon Run?
03:12Why don't you just grow up?
03:14Number 27, Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen.
03:17Goodbye, New York.
03:19Goodbye any chance of becoming a famous actress.
03:21This movie isn't remembered for much,
03:24aside from maybe introducing Megan Fox.
03:26It also has some interesting things
03:28to say about pop culture and adolescence.
03:30It's just too bad that the movie itself just isn't very good.
03:34It's only a light and breezy 85 minutes,
03:36but it's so chaotic and unrelentingly
03:39chipper that it eventually turns annoying.
03:41Lindsay Lohan certainly does all
03:43that she can with the material, but it's not enough
03:46to save the ship from sinking.
03:47We're sure plenty of people hold a special place
03:50in their nostalgic hearts for this movie, and that's great.
03:53Let's just bask in the memories instead of watching it again.
03:56She wouldn't even stop for the tiniest, most subatomic second
03:59to consider my fragile hopes and dreams.
04:01Number 26, Blank Check.
04:03You're not going to believe this.
04:05He gave all your money to a little old bitty boy.
04:09There's very little to enjoy in Blank Check,
04:11unless you're a child and obsessed with toys.
04:14In that case, it might serve as a fun bit of wish fulfillment.
04:17Young Preston is given a blank check
04:19and cashes it in for $1 million, going on
04:23to enjoy a brief life of luxury and exuberance.
04:26There is ultimately a money can't buy happiness message,
04:30but it's buried under mountains of cash,
04:32endless corporate products, and zippy montages
04:35showing how awesome it is to have lots of money.
04:37It's kind of gross.
04:39And speaking of gross, how about that not-so-platonic
04:42relationship between Preston and Shea?
04:44It's incredibly creepy, and it leaves many viewers shaking
04:47their heads in bewilderment.
04:49There's all this.
04:52This is a mess.
04:56This is absolute madness.
04:58Number 25, The Haunted Mansion.
05:01It's a car, Dad.
05:02Ah, it's not just a car.
05:04It's a very delicate piece of machinery.
05:06Shh.
05:07She didn't mean what she just said.
05:092003 was the year Disney tried adapting
05:11their rides into movies.
05:12Weird idea, but hey, we got Pirates
05:15of the Caribbean out of it.
05:16The other one is not so good.
05:19The Haunted Mansion is exactly what
05:21it says on the tin, a haunted house movie based
05:23on the popular Disneyland ride.
05:25But said ride delivers way more fun in a mere seven minutes,
05:29and we'd rather ride it 12 times in a row
05:32than watch this movie again.
05:33Like the mansion's inhabitants, it
05:35is totally lifeless, drearily wandering
05:38from one boring set piece to the next.
05:40It's neither funny nor scary, and the sleepy Eddie Murphy
05:43is clearly just in it for the payday.
05:45The master is not well.
05:47He must leave this house, Mr. Evers.
05:49He must move on.
05:51It is of the gravest importance, I assure you,
05:55or I fear the very worst.
05:59Number 24, A Kid in King Arthur's Court.
06:02Take him to camp.
06:03Let me go.
06:04The king awaits his presence.
06:06Disney takes inspiration from many different sources,
06:09including theme park rides and old fairy tales
06:12to, evidently, Mark Twain.
06:14Back in 1889, he published a novel
06:17called A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court,
06:20which was adapted to film over 100 years later
06:22with the brilliant headline, Joust Do It.
06:25But while Twain's novel clearly lives on,
06:28this movie was swiftly forgotten.
06:30It brought more attention to Daniel Craig
06:32and a pre-Titanic Kate Winslet, which is great,
06:34but the movie itself is utterly limped
06:37with cheesy writing and a total lack of humor.
06:39It also looks very cheap,
06:41which is a shame given the story's potential for bombast.
06:49Okay, where's the bathroom?
06:52Number 23, The Million Dollar Duck.
06:55Are you gonna shape up today, hmm, for me, please?
06:59The goose that laid the golden eggs is an ancient fable
07:03credited to the Greek storyteller Aesop.
07:05Disney adapted and modernized that tale in 1971,
07:09resulting in the long-forgotten The Million Dollar Duck.
07:12The tagline promises an egg-stravaganza,
07:16but it was more like egg-scruciating.
07:18The plot waddles around from bit to bit
07:21like a confused mallard,
07:22and it's a little too goofy and over-the-top,
07:25even by live-action Disney standards.
07:28Many of the characters are also supremely annoying,
07:31and it suffers from terrible pacing issues.
07:33A movie about a gold-laying duck
07:35should not be this boring.
07:37Well, you said anything was possible.
07:40Possible, yes, but making a golden egg.
07:45Number 22, Meet the Deedles.
07:48We're in a different time zone, bud.
07:49Bro, time is what you make it.
07:51With the likes of Paul Walker,
07:53Robert Englund, and Dennis Hopper,
07:55Meet the Deedles had more than enough talent behind it.
07:58The movie desperately wanted to be the next Bill and Ted,
08:01featuring two goofy but ultimately wholesome protagonists.
08:04And while it's certainly a fun
08:06and carefree time capsule of the 90s,
08:08that's about all it has going for it.
08:11The film's cheap production values
08:13leave a lot to be desired,
08:15and the two surfer bro leads
08:16are both deeply annoying and unlikable.
08:19The tone of the film also didn't gel
08:21with Disney's family-friendly brand,
08:23and unsurprisingly, no one went to see it.
08:26Talk about a total wipeout.
08:29Well, you'll train a week,
08:30graduate Saturday, and stay until fall, okay?
08:34Three-0, Capitano.
08:36Number 21, The Big Green.
08:38They don't even look like a team.
08:39Hey, what do you turkeys call yourselves?
08:41Hey, you guys, what's our name?
08:45We don't have a name.
08:46Sports comedies are a dime a dozen,
08:48and unfortunately, The Big Green
08:50runs every predictable play in the book.
08:53It follows a misfit soccer team from Texas,
08:56and if you've seen even one ragtag sports comedy before,
08:59then you don't need to watch The Big Green.
09:02The film is painfully derivative,
09:04with all the cliche jokes and character archetypes
09:07you've come to expect from the age-old genre.
09:10And as you may expect,
09:12the movie is full of corny slapstick,
09:15so unless you're six years old,
09:17you won't find much to enjoy here.
09:19Patrick Renna starred in another sports film
09:21called The Sandlot just two years prior.
09:24We'd recommend that one.
09:25You bop grapples in the toilet, and you like it.
09:30You play ball like a girl!
09:33Number 20, The Shaggy Dog.
09:36Wow, Disney making a bad remake?
09:39Never seen that happen before.
09:41So sorry.
09:43I mean, he's really a wonderful father.
09:46You know, we just have a very normal lifestyle.
09:49Yeah, it just seems that way.
09:50Very down to earth.
09:51Who let the dogs out?
09:53The original Shaggy Dog was one
09:54of Disney's most successful films in the 1950s.
09:57It ended up spawning a franchise
09:59and even inspired the company
10:01to do more modern supernatural films.
10:03The 2006 remake, however, was a box office disaster.
10:08It completely changed the story
10:10and barely captured the charm of the original,
10:12instead going for a typical sitcom-y tone
10:15with jokes that only really young kids would find amusing.
10:19Tim Allen tried to give a decent performance,
10:21but watching him act like a dog got old real fast
10:25when it's the same tired joke over and over.
10:28Do you need a brief recess?
10:30No, thanks, it's just, yeah, I, yeah, I don't even.
10:35Did you just growl at me?
10:36Number 19, Doug's first movie.
10:39You're not counting down
10:40to that Valentine's dance again, are you, man?
10:43No!
10:45Yes.
10:46Disney took over the classic Nicktoon Doug
10:48after its fourth season, but made weird changes
10:51and couldn't really capture the magic
10:52of the original series.
10:54So how would a theatrical film fare?
10:57Sadly, even though it was a box office success,
11:00Doug's first movie felt more like an extended episode
11:03with a bigger budget, only with very subpar writing,
11:06music, and characterization.
11:08On the plus side, the animation and voice acting
11:11were well done, and the ending scene warmed our hearts.
11:14But like the Disney revival itself,
11:17it just couldn't measure up to the original series.
11:20Seriously, how can you have Doug
11:22without Billy West voicing the title character?
11:25Sorry I didn't trust you, Doug.
11:27Well, none of it would have ever happened
11:29if I hadn't been trying so hard to impress you.
11:31What, Doug?
11:32Number 18, The Pacifier.
11:34What is it about the macho action star babysitter narrative
11:38that studios can't resist?
11:40When is she coming back?
11:41Soon.
11:42So for now, we'll just have some more big fun.
11:44That's what we've been doing, having fun.
11:47In this latest example of the genre,
11:49Vin Diesel plays Navy SEAL Shane,
11:51who acts as a babysitter for five kids
11:54who recently lost their father.
11:56It's an all too familiar concept,
11:58and it had the potential to be mildly amusing,
12:00yet it was bogged down by a dull script
12:03full of typical crass humor.
12:05The scene with Vin Diesel emerging from the sewer
12:08really says it all.
12:09What's really shocking is that this snore fest
12:12somehow became a box office smash,
12:14making back three times its budget.
12:17With numbers like that,
12:18it looks like the macho Mary Poppins trope is here to stay.
12:22Should we send someone in after him?
12:24No.
12:30Number 17, The Wild.
12:33You know what I'm doing when I'm soaking up in my tree?
12:35I'm thinking how great it would be
12:36if Samson the Wild wasn't my father.
12:39Samson the lion's son has been taken
12:41from the Central Park Zoo and shipped off to the wild.
12:44To rescue him, Samson and his ragtag group of friends
12:49must escape New York
12:50and make a perilous zany journey to Africa.
12:52Hmm, sounds familiar to you.
12:54It should.
12:55It's been described as a ripoff of DreamWorks' Madagascar
12:59with hints of Finding Nemo.
13:01Wow.
13:02Disney ripped off themselves too.
13:04It's hard not to see the comparisons,
13:06but while Madagascar was praised for its story and humor,
13:09The Wild fell flat in those departments.
13:12The animation was fairly decent
13:14with how realistic the animals look,
13:16but it stumbled a little too close to the uncanny valley,
13:19meaning we got a little turned off by their appearances.
13:22Ooh, I think we lost them.
13:24What's the deal?
13:25They're just a bunch of wimpy donkeys.
13:27Ryan.
13:28You can kick their rumps.
13:29Number 16, G-Force.
13:31Look, I believe in you, but if we fail,
13:35we blow a case they've been trying to crack for two years.
13:38Hey, I'm nine inches tall.
13:39I only see the upside.
13:41Uh, a spy comedy film
13:43starring a team of guinea pig secret agents?
13:46Yes, that's what we were going with.
13:48Surprisingly, this harebrained film
13:51had a promising cast list
13:53and even performed well at the box office.
13:55Critics, however, were much less kind to the film,
13:59describing it as manic yet uninspired.
14:02It has satisfactory action moments and cute CGI scenes,
14:06but those don't amount to much
14:07without an interesting plot,
14:09decent humor, or solid characterization.
14:12It missed the mark completely,
14:13so we still don't know how such a dry, ridiculous concept
14:18became a box office hit.
14:20Maybe we really are just suckers
14:22for a cute guinea pig flicks.
14:23We accomplished in one night
14:25what you guys couldn't do in two years.
14:27And without a warrant.
14:28Holla!
14:29Number 15, That Darn Cat.
14:31Honey, why do you always wear black?
14:35Because it matches my soul.
14:37This one is especially bad for cat lovers.
14:391965's That Darn Cat is fondly looked back on
14:43as a fun, whimsical, and hilarious story of a cat
14:46who ends up being a crime witness.
14:49Of course, if Disney strikes gold once,
14:52you know they'll try to do it again.
14:54But they failed in this attempt.
14:57In this case, they took the focus away
14:59from the real star of the film, the cat.
15:01Sorry, man, just coughed up a hairball.
15:05And put the unlikable Patti Randall in the spotlight.
15:08Worst of all, it sucked all the whimsical fun
15:11out of the original.
15:12And tried to cater to a more cynical audience.
15:15But ending up an unfocused, uninteresting muddle.
15:19Ow!
15:20Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
15:28Two down.
15:29Number 14, The Santa Clause 3, The Escape Clause.
15:33Honestly, Tim Allen's The Santa Clause isn't for everyone.
15:37But many consider it a Christmas classic by now.
15:40Well, I hope you're happy, Comet.
15:42Hope you're happy.
15:43But most of all, I hope the guy that lives here is a tailor.
15:47Unfortunately, it spawned two sequels
15:50that couldn't measure up to the original.
15:52And nowhere is that more evident
15:53than The Santa Clause 3, The Escape Clause.
15:56Oh!
15:58It's a so-called battle of the ages.
16:01Tim Allen, Scott Calvin versus Martin Short's Jack Frost.
16:05But with a bland story and an already tired franchise,
16:09the only winner of this fight
16:11are those who decided to skip this holiday cash grab.
16:14Admittedly, Martin Short is a fun addition
16:17and the film is mostly harmless.
16:19But that couldn't save it
16:20from being nominated for six Razzies.
16:23It's not great at all.
16:24You've done a terrible thing.
16:25You'll be on the naughty list for the rest of your life.
16:28Number 13, Prince of Persia, The Sands of Time.
16:32Have you been drinking?
16:35Film adaptations of popular video games
16:38can be a huge gamble.
16:40If not handled right,
16:41gamer fans will make sure
16:42the filmmakers never hear the end of it.
16:45Of course, that didn't stop Disney
16:47from taking on such a challenge.
16:49And thus was born Prince of Persia, The Sands of Time.
16:52Based on the popular Ubisoft title,
16:55it had the means to be a good flick.
16:57A great score, plenty of action, and a decent cast list.
17:02However, it relied too much on said action
17:05to make up for a lackluster script
17:07that strayed too far from the source material.
17:09Criticism about casting a white actor
17:12as the Iranian lead didn't help matters.
17:14Izan will use that dagger to pierce the sandglass
17:17and he has to be stopped.
17:19He has to be stomped, he has to be stomped.
17:22Number 12, Underdog.
17:24That's me in the uniform.
17:26I was raised since I was just a little puppy to fight crime.
17:29Never had a family or a place to call home.
17:32I was raised with one purpose and one purpose only.
17:35As unbelievable as it sounds,
17:37cute talking dogs don't automatically make a movie great.
17:41Yeah, you're right, a flying dog
17:43in a red sweater isn't enough.
17:44It certainly couldn't help Disney's Underdog
17:47based on the 1960 Saturday morning cartoon of the same name.
17:51What made the original show so beloved
17:54was how much of a campy homage
17:56to the superhero genre it was.
17:57However, the film tries too hard
18:00to cash in on the genre's ongoing popularity
18:02and exchanges the cartoonish charm
18:05for a formulaic family drama plot.
18:07There are those who look back on this one with fondness,
18:10but most agree that with a plot as dull as this,
18:13there is plenty to fear when Underdog is here.
18:20Oh no, they're gonna blame this on me.
18:23Oh well, bon appetit.
18:25Number 11, Inspector Gadget.
18:28To this day, the Inspector Gadget cartoon
18:30is looked back with much acclaim,
18:32thanks partly to its banger of a theme song.
18:35♪ Inspector Gadget ♪
18:40♪ Inspector Gadget ♪
18:44Meanwhile, fans try to forget
18:46Disney's live action film adaptation.
18:48Instead of trying to capture the cartoon's quirky charm,
18:51it focuses more on distracting its audience
18:54with special effects and horribly awkward humor,
18:57including unnecessary innuendos.
18:59Also, Matthew Broderick wasn't the best casting choice
19:02for his scatterbrained detective
19:04as his acting was incredibly awkward
19:06and his evil doppelganger was even worse.
19:09No!
19:14Ha ha ha ha ha!
19:15Funnily enough, the direct-to-video sequel
19:18was seen as an improvement over the first film
19:20as it felt much more faithful to its source material.
19:23You're under arrest for the murder
19:24of Artemis Bradford, school ex.
19:26God, you're irritating.
19:27Number 10, Alice Through the Looking Glass.
19:31Look, I'm a thief, first hand I've made.
19:37Tim Burton's remake of Alice in Wonderland
19:40has had a very mixed reaction from audiences.
19:43While the visuals are stunning,
19:44the story feels like a drastic departure
19:47from Lewis Carroll's original stories.
19:49But most agree that the sequel,
19:51Alice Through the Looking Glass,
19:52is much worse than its predecessor.
19:54While its imagery is once again gorgeous,
19:57the story and narrative are overly complex
20:00and devoid of humor or anything
20:02that would keep the audience's attention.
20:04The saddest part is that this was Alan Rickman's
20:07very last film role,
20:08which makes the experience even more depressing.
20:11You're better off watching the animated 1951 film.
20:15It does a much better job portraying Carroll's books
20:18than these live-action adaptations.
20:20I'm afraid I can't explain myself, sir,
20:23because I'm not myself, you know.
20:25I do not know.
20:27Number nine, Mars Needs Moms.
20:30You didn't eat your broccoli.
20:33Broccoli makes me barf.
20:35Besides, it looks like brains.
20:36Well, you like zombies, zombies eat brains.
20:40Before it was shut down, Image Movers Digital
20:43was acclaimed for their breathtaking motion-captured films.
20:46Unfortunately, they mistakenly took one ill-fated flop
20:51that spelled their doom, Disney's Mars Needs Moms.
20:54While the animation and motion capture are nice,
20:56said talent couldn't compensate for a shallow plot
20:59and bland, poor characters.
21:01Not to mention, it once again teeters too close
21:05to the uncanny valley with some of the characters.
21:08Worst of all, the film's budget was $150 million
21:12and it couldn't even get half of that back.
21:15And thus, Image Movers Digital was buried
21:18in an overly expensive, bland coffin.
21:20Fact is, Mars Needs Moms.
21:30What the heck does that mean?
21:31Number eight, The Lone Ranger.
21:33I guess I didn't make myself clear.
21:36This is a damn bank robbery!
21:37Despite The Lone Ranger's popularity as a radio drama,
21:41there hadn't been a film adaptation for three decades
21:44after the failure of 1981's The Legend of the Lone Ranger.
21:48However, in 2013, The Lone Ranger and Tonto
21:52rode again in Disney's live-action adaptation
21:56and it was not a triumphant return.
21:58Right off the bat, there's the controversial casting choice
22:02of having Johnny Depp play a Native American.
22:04But if you can look past that,
22:06we still have an overly expensive snooze fest
22:09with an overstuffed runtime
22:11and a desperate reliance on action sequences.
22:14There were plans for sequels,
22:15but those thankfully never came to pass.
22:18Maybe it's a sign that The Lone Ranger's time
22:21really has passed.
22:22Don't ever do that again!
22:23Number seven, Old Dogs.
22:25I think Scat is poop.
22:28Really, son?
22:29Yeah.
22:31Do I poop on my face?
22:33Yeah.
22:34Scat happens, man.
22:35A comedy so bad
22:37that not even the late Robin Williams could save it.
22:40In this family comedy,
22:42he and John Travolta are business partners
22:44who end up becoming guardians for twins.
22:47Along the way, they learn about the value of family
22:50and get tangled up in all kinds of slapstick and shenanigans.
22:53Williams and Travolta do have chemistry,
22:55but it's sadly wasted on a tired old narrative
22:58of unconventional fathers learn the value of family.
23:02Seriously, this formula is older
23:04than Williams and Travolta's characters.
23:06Oh, and there's a scene
23:07with Seth Green being cradled by a gorilla.
23:10Someone asked for this?
23:12Either way, it's another example of talented actors
23:15not being used to their full potential.
23:17I'm not a superhero, kids.
23:19Maybe that's a good thing,
23:20because, you know, superheroes are always off fighting crime.
23:25And I just wanna be with you guys.
23:27Forever, if you'll let me.
23:29Number six, Mr. Magoo.
23:30Waldo, Hiram has been my optometrist
23:33since I was a small boy in knee pants.
23:35He's like 2,000 years old.
23:37All his other patients are dead.
23:38You can't hold that against him!
23:41The original Mr. Magoo shorts
23:42follow the zany misadventures of a nearsighted old man
23:46as he narrowly avoids disaster in a hilarious manner.
23:49While the concept worked for a series of shorts,
23:52it doesn't quite work for a full-length feature film.
23:55That didn't stop Disney
23:56from giving it the good old college try in 1997.
24:01Sad to say that even with Leslie Nielsen in the starring role,
24:05this film was destined for failure,
24:07and not just because it was bad.
24:09It had an offensive portrayal of nearsighted people
24:11and had to be pulled from theaters.
24:14Honestly, it's for the best.
24:16A movie this atrocious shouldn't be seen by anyone.
24:19I'm going on ahead.
24:20You stay here.
24:21I'm gonna eyeball the situation.
24:25Maybe I should do the eyeballing.
24:27Number five, Chicken Little.
24:29The sky is falling!
24:30Are you crazy?
24:31No, no, no, it's true!
24:33Come with me!
24:34Given Pixar's success with CGI films,
24:36Disney decided to try themselves
24:38with their first entirely CG animated film, Chicken Little.
24:42Based on the folktale of the same name,
24:45while the animation was impressive,
24:47critics called foul on everything else.
24:51The story is chaotic while trying to sound clever,
24:54while the humor relies too much on cheap laughs
24:56and is often mean-spirited,
24:58usually at the expense of poor Chicken.
25:01Not to mention,
25:02viewers took a particular dislike for his father, Buck Chuck,
25:05for being unsupportive of his son.
25:07Thankfully, Disney would eventually find its footing
25:10in the CGI department with smash hits
25:12like Tangled and Frozen,
25:13but it had a poor first impression with this catastrophe.
25:17Oh, it's the acorn thing all over again!
25:20Hey, there's no story here.
25:22Well, at least we can sell the video to Chicken's Gone Wild.
25:24Number four, Pinocchio.
25:26What is your name?
25:27Ah!
25:29You sure should have a name of your own.
25:32Yes, yes.
25:33Now, what should it be?
25:34Live-action remakes of animated Disney classics
25:37are often slammed for their subpar
25:39or mediocre retelling of the original.
25:42Arguably the biggest offender
25:44is the 2022 Pinocchio remake starring Tom Hanks.
25:48Visually, it looks astounding,
25:50but that's where the compliments end.
25:52The story is stripped of everything
25:54that made the original timeless and compelling,
25:56and our favorite characters are deprived
25:58of any real characterization.
26:00No offense to Tom Hanks,
26:02but maybe he should have walked away from this one.
26:04Funny enough, Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio
26:08came out the same year and was critically acclaimed
26:10because of how much heart was put into it.
26:13Meanwhile, this live-action ripoff
26:15was just a soulless cash grab
26:17that was more lifeless than an actual puppet.
26:20Shut my mouth, you can talk!
26:23Shut my mouth, you can talk!
26:25No, you can talk!
26:27No, you can talk!
26:28Number three, Planes.
26:31I've got a tight turn radius
26:32and a high power-to-weight ratio.
26:34You know what else you got?
26:34What?
26:35A screw loose.
26:36With Pixar's cars already a major cash cow,
26:39Disney decided to keep the ball rolling with Planes,
26:42a spinoff movie set in the same universe,
26:44but not produced by Pixar.
26:46Honestly, Pixar dodged a bullet
26:49by not putting their name on it,
26:50as it was a free-falling bond with critics.
26:53It was released in theaters
26:55when it should have been a direct-to-video film,
26:57and it really shows what a paint-by-the-numbers,
27:00money-grubbing project this was.
27:02The sequel, Planes, Fire and Rescue,
27:05was a small improvement over its predecessor,
27:08but that's not saying much,
27:09considering it's still watering down
27:11a well-known Pixar franchise.
27:13Hey, pal, sixth place ain't nothing to be ashamed of.
27:17That was a heck of a run.
27:19Number two, Kazam.
27:21Ah!
27:23Who dare to wake me?
27:27With basketball superstar Shaquille O'Neal's
27:30popularity in the 90s,
27:31Disney had to cash in on his fame with a featured film.
27:35Unfortunately, this resulted in Kazam,
27:38with Shaq playing a rapping genie from a magic boombox.
27:42Sorry to say, but an Oscar-worthy performer,
27:45Shaq is not, nor is he a rapper.
27:48It doesn't help that the material he's given
27:50is incredibly dull and cliched,
27:53and was nothing more than a shameless cash grab
27:55with barely any substance to keep it afloat.
27:58The weirdest part is that some viewers
28:00kept mistaking it for some non-existent 90s flick
28:03called Shazam, starring Sinbad.
28:05We're still scratching our heads about this mix-up.
28:08Pretty big dreams, kid.
28:11What do you know?
28:11You live in a box.
28:15Boombox, that is.
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28:32Number one, Artemis Fowl.
28:34The problem is that you don't respect anyone enough
28:37to treat them as an equal.
28:38That's ridiculous.
28:39I hold several people in the very highest esteem.
28:41Really?
28:43Who, for example?
28:44Albert Einstein.
28:45The Artemis Fowl book series
28:47has been heavily praised for its storytelling
28:50and blend of fantasy, sci-fi, and police drama.
28:53Disney's 2020 film adaptation, however,
28:56is considered a disgrace to the book's legacy.
28:58While the set design and cinematography were decent,
29:01the dialogue was heavily watered down.
29:04The pacing was painfully slow
29:06and the characters were handled abysmally.
29:09They tried to make Artemis
29:10into another generic kid protagonist,
29:12which goes completely against his character journey
29:15from the books.
29:16Not to mention, they faced discriminatory accusations
29:19thanks to some controversial casting choices.
29:21The film was considered so bad
29:24that it was pulled from Disney Plus in May 2023.
29:27Good riddance, honestly,
29:29considering how little it respected its source material.
29:32Where are we going?
29:34To finish this.
29:35You think I'm ready?
29:37Oh, I know you're ready.
29:38Do you have a fondness for any of these films?
29:40Let us know in the comments below.
29:43They're horrible.
29:44Did you enjoy this video?
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