Death Race 2000 (1975 Origin) - Best Movie Ever - Movie Classic
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:01:30and sports fans everywhere.
00:01:33Today we inaugurate the 20th annual Transcontinental Road Race.
00:01:38Today, the five bravest young men and women in this bravest of nations
00:01:46will risk their lives in the greatest sporting event since the days of Spartacus.
00:01:52Three days hence, a new American champion will be crowned.
00:01:58For all the world to behold, in awe, in respect, in fear.
00:02:05All right, all right.
00:02:07This is Junior Bruce, your buddy, buddy, and mine.
00:02:11And I'll be giving you the blow-by-blow, play-by-play
00:02:14when the kings and queens of the open road roar onto the track.
00:02:19Do I hear the sound of engines?
00:02:21It's Calamity Jane Kelly, queen of the road,
00:02:25at the wheel of that mean old ornery stud boy.
00:02:33Zaney Janey, winner of this year's trials at Watkins Glen,
00:02:36placed second in 1998 and led in last year's second lap
00:02:40until she went out with gear trouble.
00:02:43Her fans and lovers everywhere wish Janey better luck this year.
00:02:47My fans can wish me all the luck they want.
00:02:50If my luck with my lovers gets any better, I'll miss the race completely.
00:02:53Isn't that right, Pete?
00:02:56At the start of the race, only a heartthrob away,
00:02:59this is Grace Pander on the spot, as usual,
00:03:03to welcome the greatest racer of all time
00:03:06and a very dear friend of mine.
00:03:09Yes, in just a moment, he will be coming through the doors.
00:03:21There is no cause for alarm.
00:03:23The patient has been flown in from abroad in a state of suspended animation
00:03:27in order to facilitate the healing of his recent limb transplants.
00:03:31He should be coming around any moment now.
00:03:46Frankenstein, can you give me an exclusive?
00:03:49How are things abroad?
00:03:51How is Mr. President? Is he still in Moscow?
00:03:54Mr. President is in his summer palace in Peking.
00:04:00He loves everybody.
00:04:02And everybody loves him.
00:04:07Here she is, that adorable swastika sweetheart,
00:04:11Matilda the Hun from Milwaukee,
00:04:15and her lovable Nazi navigator, Herman the German Fox.
00:04:30Matilda, Herman, do you think this is your turn
00:04:33to be first and foremost in sunny California?
00:04:36Today, California.
00:04:38Tomorrow, the world.
00:04:39Bye, Herman.
00:04:41I hope your buzz bomb has a little more juice in its warhead this year.
00:04:50Whoever named your car the Bull was only half right.
00:04:55Frankenstein, will Mr. President fly in to crown the winner of the race?
00:04:59Yes.
00:05:00Is it true that with your new mechanical arm,
00:05:02you can shift gears in less than a twentieth of a second?
00:05:05Would you care to comment on that?
00:05:07No.
00:05:08How do you feel about going into the race with a navigator you've never met?
00:05:12You'll love Annie. She's a red-hot sexpot.
00:05:15She better be a red-hot navigator.
00:05:20No more questions.
00:05:22It's the Lion.
00:05:23And at the wheel, Ray Nero the Hero Lotigan.
00:05:28Never has finished the Transcontinental,
00:05:30but three big wins in the provinces this season,
00:05:33plus a brand new beast,
00:05:35means Nero's not fiddling around.
00:05:38Sit still, Cleopatra, and stop blocking me.
00:05:42My fans want to see me.
00:05:44They've never seen a has-been before?
00:05:54Annie Smith?
00:05:55Mr. Frankenstein.
00:05:57I've checked out the car and everything seems perfect.
00:06:00I have the route maps right here.
00:06:02I will check them in a minute.
00:06:06We will roll when everything seems perfect to me.
00:06:12I've packed some high-protein capsules
00:06:15and as many adrenaline tablets as I could find.
00:06:18And I've also assembled a medical kit,
00:06:20just in case.
00:06:21I'm trained as a nurse.
00:06:23I don't need a nurse.
00:06:24I need a navigator.
00:06:26Mr. Frankenstein,
00:06:28you're very good at what you do,
00:06:30and I'm very good at what I do.
00:06:33We'll see.
00:06:37And you know,
00:06:38there's only one person who guns an engine like that.
00:06:42It's gotta be the roughest, tough guy of them all,
00:06:46Machine Gun Joe Viterbo!
00:06:52Here he comes, Machine Gun Joe.
00:06:55Loved by thousands, hated by millions.
00:06:58Only living previous winner except for Frankenstein.
00:07:01Highest lifetime score after Frankenstein,
00:07:04and he's certainly getting the welcome he deserves.
00:07:11Joe doesn't look too happy,
00:07:13but you just can't keep those Frankenstein fans down.
00:07:18Lousy sons of bitches.
00:07:20Frankenstein!
00:07:21Give it to them, Joe!
00:07:23More Frankenstein!
00:07:25I'll give you Frankenstein!
00:07:29I did it!
00:07:31Here he comes! Here he comes!
00:07:33Frankenstein!
00:07:35Frankenstein the legend!
00:07:37Frankenstein the indestructible!
00:07:40Sole survivor of the titanic pileup of 95.
00:07:43Only two-time winner of the transcontinental road race.
00:07:47Frankenstein!
00:07:48Ripped up, wiped out,
00:07:50battered, shattered, creamed and reamed.
00:07:53A dancer on the brink of death.
00:07:56Frankenstein, who lost a leg in 98,
00:07:59an arm in 99.
00:08:01With half a face and half a chest
00:08:03and all the guts in the world, he's back.
00:08:07God only knows what he looks like under that mask,
00:08:10but he is back.
00:08:12In the name of Mr. President,
00:08:14America loves you, Frankenstein!
00:08:27You will regret that, Joe.
00:08:35Stay tuned, racing fans.
00:08:37T-Video satellite will bring every mile
00:08:40of thrills and spills into your living room.
00:08:43All five cars are in starting position
00:08:45here at New York Memorial Raceway,
00:08:47ready to roll.
00:08:49Now, we take you to the Summer Palace
00:08:52and Mr. President.
00:08:55President.
00:09:09My children, whom I love so dearly.
00:09:14It has been my duty in the long and difficult years
00:09:20since the world crash of 79
00:09:23to serve you as best I could.
00:09:27Never before in history have masses
00:09:30forgone all combat
00:09:32so that the spirit of genius might thrive
00:09:35and seek the golden key
00:09:37to a new time of plenty
00:09:39in the fertile field of minority privilege.
00:09:43And now, my children,
00:09:45the drivers are ready, the world is waiting.
00:09:48Once more, I give you what you want.
00:09:53Go!
00:10:05Good morning, Americans.
00:10:07Once again, the race is underway
00:10:09with 12-hour pit stops scheduled
00:10:11at St. Louis and Albuquerque,
00:10:13home of the American Indian Museum.
00:10:16At this very moment, the cars are howling
00:10:19through the streets of Manhattan,
00:10:21but no points have been scored as yet.
00:10:24Take it away, Junior Bruce.
00:10:27They're coming out of the Lincoln Tunnel now
00:10:29with Frankenstein and Joe running neck and neck.
00:10:32Then it's the Lion driven by, passed by,
00:10:35Calamity Jane in the ball,
00:10:37moving into third place.
00:10:51Oh, yeah!
00:11:21Oh, yeah!
00:11:42All right, and hey, hey, hey,
00:11:44the cars have split up.
00:11:46The drivers taking off on their favorite routes.
00:11:49Frankenstein still out in front, headed due west
00:11:52with Nero the hero on his tail,
00:11:54hoping to pick up his leftovers.
00:11:56Calamity Jane's on a northwest hack.
00:11:58Matilda's buzz bomb is trying to catch up
00:12:00with Machine Gun Joe, now streaking southwest.
00:12:04Once again, Mr. President.
00:12:06I have made the United Provinces of America
00:12:10the greatest power in the known universe.
00:12:12I have also given you
00:12:15the most popular sporting event
00:12:17in the history of mankind,
00:12:19the transcontinental road race,
00:12:22which upholds the American tradition
00:12:24of no holds barred.
00:12:27No holds barred.
00:12:30That's how he got to be president.
00:12:32Hypocrite pig, what about our ultimatum?
00:12:35He's been laughing us off for 15 years.
00:12:38Passive resistance means nothing to him.
00:12:40Pick up that flag, young man.
00:12:42It's time for action.
00:12:44It is not a time for violence.
00:12:46Mrs. Payne, I love Annie as much as you do,
00:12:48but she's no match for Frankenstein,
00:12:51and we can't risk letting him get away.
00:12:53Frankenstein is the biggest target in the world
00:12:55and a personal friend of Mr. President's.
00:12:57That, Lieutenant Fury, is exactly why
00:13:00they'll call off the race, to save his life.
00:13:03My granddaughter will succeed.
00:13:05Don't you ever take off that mask?
00:13:07No. Don't you know about my face?
00:13:10I've heard stories.
00:13:13Nobody's ever seen it, have they?
00:13:16Except my other navigators.
00:13:18And they're all dead.
00:13:21So they are.
00:13:26They say you lost most of your jaw
00:13:28in the crack of 92.
00:13:31And my right eye in 95.
00:13:34And my nose and my left eye in 97.
00:13:37Most of my cranium in 98.
00:13:39I'm held together with patches of plastic
00:13:41and steel plates.
00:13:44It's not a pretty sight.
00:13:47You want to see?
00:13:50Why not? I've seen everything else.
00:13:52Remember, you're doing this on your own.
00:13:55I take no responsibility.
00:13:59What'd you expect?
00:14:01Another pretty face?
00:14:07They really love you, Joe.
00:14:10Yeah?
00:14:12Then how come they ain't done it on the road proving it?
00:14:15Hey, you better make this left turn.
00:14:18You'll shave off a bit of your beard.
00:14:21I'll shave off a bit of my beard?
00:14:24Yeah.
00:14:26You better make this left turn.
00:14:28You'll shave off about 2 miles that way.
00:14:30Yeah, all right.
00:14:51All right, all right.
00:14:53Yes, sirree.
00:14:55A clean hit.
00:14:57A perfect hit.
00:14:59And no pain for the target.
00:15:01Too bad the guy was only 38.
00:15:03Just two years older,
00:15:05he'd have been worth three times the points.
00:15:07But for the second year in a row,
00:15:09Machine Gun Joe has splattered the scoreboard first.
00:15:13How'd you like that, huh?
00:15:15Get off of that one, Myra, baby.
00:15:19What's the matter with this engine?
00:15:21Oh, sounds fine to me.
00:15:23Amateurs.
00:15:25Get back there and retard the spark for, uh, three degrees.
00:15:51All right.
00:16:13Glad to see you were able to find your way back.
00:16:17As the cars roar into Pennsylvania,
00:16:21the cradle of liberty,
00:16:23it seems apparent that our citizens
00:16:25are staying off the streets,
00:16:27which may make scoring particularly difficult,
00:16:30even with this year's rule changes.
00:16:33To recap those revisions,
00:16:36women are still worth ten points
00:16:39more than men in all age brackets,
00:16:43but teenagers now rack up 40 points
00:16:47and toddlers under 12 now rate a big 70 points.
00:16:52The big score, anyone, any sex,
00:16:56over 75 years old,
00:16:58has been upped to 100 points.
00:17:02As always,
00:17:04how fast you move determines how long you live.
00:17:12Whoa!
00:17:18Whoa!
00:17:42Whoa!
00:17:48Whoa!
00:17:55A beautiful kill, a neat kill.
00:17:58No calamities for Jane today, no, sir.
00:18:01And you can bet she'll be getting both ears for that one.
00:18:13What is that?
00:18:15Euthanasia day at the geriatrics hospital.
00:18:17They do it every year.
00:18:19Here he comes! He's coming!
00:18:42Yeah!
00:18:48Frankenstein scores!
00:18:50Frankenstein scores at last!
00:18:53But what kind of a score, boys and girls?
00:18:55Just 110 points out of a possible big 700.
00:18:59What do you think about that, Gracie?
00:19:01Well, those doctors, dear friends of mine,
00:19:06have been pretty smug all these years
00:19:08setting up the old folks.
00:19:10Frankenstein must have decided it was their turn.
00:19:13Which only goes to show that even the fearsome Frankenstein
00:19:17has a 100% red-blooded American sense of humor.
00:19:23Annie saved those old people,
00:19:25and she'll deliver Frankenstein.
00:19:28Meanwhile, innocent people are being slaughtered on our highways.
00:19:32They're like Christians being thrown to the gladiators.
00:19:36But just remember, the Christians won.
00:19:39Did they, Mrs. Payne?
00:19:40I take it from your attire
00:19:42that your sabotage operations are being carried out
00:19:45despite my wishes?
00:19:48Mrs. Payne,
00:19:51we're set to hit them with everything we've got.
00:19:54Then in the name of humanity,
00:19:56let Operation Anti-Race begin!
00:20:01How in the hell are we supposed to score in this graveyard?
00:20:04You're the navigator. That's your problem.
00:20:07You better think of something pretty soon,
00:20:09or else you're going to be out on your ass.
00:20:11It isn't my fault everyone scored before us.
00:20:14You should have gone after that Boy Scout camp like I told you.
00:20:17I tried a goddamn Boy Scout camp.
00:20:20You know how fast those Boy Scouts move?
00:20:24Now here's something for your speed.
00:20:27It's got to be at least 200 points.
00:20:30If they scatter, go for the baby and the mother.
00:20:34Come on! Come on!
00:20:37Go for the baby! The baby!
00:20:40That's it.
00:20:42Come get baby.
00:20:44Bye-bye, baby. Hello, 70 points.
00:20:49Hey, I'm off the airs! I'm off the airs!
00:20:52Would you please take your places?
00:20:54Take your places.
00:20:56Grace, I'm with an interview right now.
00:20:58Hello, ladies.
00:21:00Isn't this just the most exciting race in years?
00:21:03I certainly think so.
00:21:05And guess what?
00:21:07I have a surprise for you.
00:21:09Mrs. Rhonda Bainbridge in person.
00:21:12Oh, my God.
00:21:14I have a surprise for you.
00:21:16Mrs. Rhonda Bainbridge in person on my show.
00:21:22The widow of Edward Bainbridge,
00:21:25whom, as we all know,
00:21:27was machine gun Joe Viterbo's first score.
00:21:32Welcome to my home.
00:21:34And may I call you Rhonda?
00:21:36Oh, please do, Mrs. Pander.
00:21:38Are we about ready here?
00:21:40Yeah, just about.
00:21:42We'll have to go right away.
00:21:46As the widow of the race's first score,
00:21:50you have won a high-style two-room apartment
00:21:54in Acapulco.
00:21:56Start the jam!
00:21:59And next year, you will be watching the race
00:22:03on a 50-inch, three-dimensional
00:22:06octophonic team video set...
00:22:09Very impressed, Americans.
00:22:12The execution of the barbarian killer Nero the Hero
00:22:16is the people's greatest honor.
00:22:19And the winner of the race
00:22:21will be the one and only
00:22:24The execution of the barbarian killer Nero the Hero
00:22:27is the people's first stroke
00:22:30against the evil and corrupt regime of Mr. President.
00:22:35I am Thomasina Bain,
00:22:38founder and commander of the Army of the Resistance.
00:22:42For 20 years,
00:22:44Americans have been told when to eat and when to sleep,
00:22:48when to love and when to hate.
00:22:52The age of obedience is over.
00:22:56In the names of George Washington, Abraham Lincoln,
00:23:00and Harry Truman,
00:23:03I call upon you to stand up for your inalienable rights.
00:23:08We declare war upon the bipartisan party,
00:23:11on Mr. President,
00:23:13and on that most inhuman desecration of life and liberty,
00:23:18the transcontinental road rape.
00:23:22I thank you.
00:23:25What the hell was that?
00:23:27I have no information.
00:23:29Is this race still on?
00:23:30I have no information.
00:23:32Well, what do you think?
00:23:33About what?
00:23:34About that speech.
00:23:36And Spice to the race?
00:23:38Spice? They've killed Nero.
00:23:41Yeah, they would have got more points for me.
00:23:43Don't you understand?
00:23:45They've declared war on the race and on you.
00:23:48Aren't you worried?
00:23:49The only thing that worries me is machine gun Joe Viterbo.
00:23:52He's winning all you care about.
00:23:54Yes, it's the only standard of excellence left.
00:24:02Come on, here they come.
00:24:04About finished.
00:24:05Come on.
00:24:10Look at that stupid hole right in the middle.
00:24:13They won't get through there.
00:24:19It's big!
00:24:21Converge from all their routes and head for the first pit stop at St. Louis.
00:24:25Machine gun Joe is still leading the field
00:24:28with Frankenstein second, Calamity Jane third.
00:24:31Leaving Matilda the Hun in fourth position
00:24:33and Calamity Jane facing another Calamity.
00:24:37Right now, Frankenstein's score points put him just ahead of Joe.
00:24:41Hey, get off the road!
00:24:43Jesus, Chrysler! Get off the road!
00:24:46Arriving first in St. Louis.
00:24:48Hey, dummy, come on over and hold the lap.
00:24:59This sucker fits.
00:25:01Where's the one that says welcome Joe Viterbo?
00:25:04Square the center of it, Joe. You need every point you can get.
00:25:12I only mashed him slightly.
00:25:15Put him out of his misery, Joe.
00:25:17Hey, is that fair?
00:25:18Yeah.
00:25:19Hey, should I let him go?
00:25:22Fair's always right.
00:26:12One thing before we begin.
00:26:14The government would like it if nobody said anything about Nero.
00:26:17Understand?
00:26:18He hit a tree and that's it.
00:26:20Got it?
00:26:21We don't want to depress anybody by...
00:26:23Hey, hey.
00:26:24Everybody knows he was blown up by the resistance, you schmuck.
00:26:27It was on television.
00:26:29If you want to drive again next year, Mr. Viterbo,
00:26:32you'll keep those opinions to yourself.
00:26:34Okay, go ahead.
00:26:35This is Grace Pander from St. Louis,
00:26:38where Matilda, a dear friend of mine,
00:26:41is receiving a well-deserved rubdown.
00:26:44Tell me, Tilly darling,
00:26:46what can we expect from you when the cars go back on the road?
00:26:50You can expect a victory.
00:26:52By a member of the master race.
00:26:54A woman.
00:26:55Oh, Tilly darling,
00:26:57that certainly is showing a lot of confidence
00:26:59for someone who's lying fourth out of four.
00:27:02She doesn't mind as long as she's lying somewhere.
00:27:04Look, when I'm through with you, you're gonna be line of state, lady.
00:27:07Listen, miss, if anybody is going to Boothill,
00:27:09it's you and your biz bag.
00:27:10Buzz bomb.
00:27:11Shut up.
00:27:12Look, you just leave my navigator alone.
00:27:14Girls, girls, girls, remember you're on TV land.
00:27:18Pete, how do you like being a navigator?
00:27:20Well, Junior,
00:27:22I'd like it more if I was in the driver's seat.
00:27:26You'll get what's coming to you on the road.
00:27:29Oh, yeah?
00:27:30Well, what's coming to me is to find a solution to the Calgary problem.
00:27:34Frankenstein,
00:27:35can you tell us when you're gonna make your move?
00:27:37Are you gonna take any off-road chances for scores?
00:27:40Or are you driving all out to be first in the new L.A.?
00:27:44It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game.
00:27:47Frankenstein, a dear friend of mine,
00:27:49Frankenstein, tell me how it feels
00:27:51when at that electric instant, driving at 200 miles an hour,
00:27:54life and death coexist at the moment of scoring.
00:27:58You stand in the middle of Route 66 tomorrow morning at 8 o'clock.
00:28:02You can answer that question for yourself.
00:28:18What are you doing? Get away from me! Don't go nuts!
00:28:21Just tell him I was whispering sweet nothings in your ear.
00:28:27Tell us what he said to you.
00:28:29Well, Myra, what did Frankenstein have to say to you?
00:28:32He didn't say anything. He didn't...
00:28:34What'd he say?
00:28:35Nothing.
00:28:36What'd he say?
00:28:37Nothing!
00:28:38Look, I'm not playing games with you, Myra. I want to know what he said.
00:28:41He said there was nothing sweet in my ear.
00:28:45In my ear.
00:28:48In my ear.
00:29:01What do you want?
00:29:04My name is Laurie, Mr. Frankenstein.
00:29:07I'm head of Chapter 7, St. Louis Lovers of Frankenstein.
00:29:10I was chosen from over a hundred girls...
00:29:12You offer me your body? Is that it?
00:29:15You want to make love to me because I drive the monster and wear this costume?
00:29:19No, Mr. Frankenstein.
00:29:21But that wouldn't be fair to your navigator.
00:29:23It's taken her years of hard work to earn that privilege.
00:29:26Besides, we understand your feelings.
00:29:30What do you know of my feelings?
00:29:34Everything.
00:29:35Like...
00:29:36Like why you're afraid of falling in love.
00:29:39And why winning the race means everything to you.
00:29:43How do you know these things?
00:29:45From my dreams, partly.
00:29:48And from letters I get from other fans.
00:29:51Plus, the club subscribes to an astrology service.
00:29:54Well, if you're not here to offer me your body...
00:29:58I wanted to meet you, Mr. Frankenstein.
00:30:00I wanted you to know who I am.
00:30:03So it would have meaning.
00:30:06I don't understand.
00:30:08So what would have meaning?
00:30:09We love you, Mr. Frankenstein.
00:30:12I know just saying it doesn't mean much.
00:30:14Why do you love me?
00:30:15Because I kill people?
00:30:17Scoring isn't killing, Mr. Frankenstein.
00:30:19It's part of the race.
00:30:21You're a national hero.
00:30:23And we want you to know we're with you.
00:30:25A hundred percent.
00:30:27Good night, Mr. Frankenstein.
00:30:42Didn't hear you come in.
00:30:44What were you expecting, machine gun Joe?
00:30:48I thought I could trust you.
00:30:52You really just don't want to give me a chance, do you?
00:30:57I was trying to help you.
00:31:00I'm sorry.
00:31:03You're what?
00:31:08Sorry.
00:31:11He wanted to know our route,
00:31:13so I told him to go down 54 through the Cimarron Valley.
00:31:1954 is a dead end.
00:31:22It leads nowhere.
00:31:24That's right.
00:31:26And if Joe takes it, he's sunk.
00:31:29The only way Joe will take that road
00:31:31is if he sees us do it first.
00:31:33Or if he's ahead of us.
00:31:37Is that the arm that came off the 98?
00:31:40Mm-hmm.
00:31:41And which one of those obviously perfect legs
00:31:46came off the 99?
00:31:48The right.
00:31:50And the left one was just broken in six places
00:31:53and burned down to the bone.
00:31:55Is that right?
00:31:56Mm-hmm.
00:31:58It's a miracle you can still walk.
00:32:03Do you like to dance?
00:32:10Mm-hmm.
00:32:40♪♪♪
00:33:00Those Swiss mechanics sure did a good job on you.
00:33:04What else did they replace?
00:33:08Wait a minute, and I'll show you.
00:33:20Oh, Mr. President,
00:33:22bless thy children and make them strong.
00:33:25Bless thy daughters, Matilda and Jane,
00:33:28and thy son Joe.
00:33:30And bless thy beloved son,
00:33:32the immortal Frankenstein,
00:33:35who has given so much pleasure to so many.
00:33:39What the hell was Frankenstein?
00:33:41What about Joe Venturbo?
00:33:52The flag is down, and they're away
00:33:54with Machine Gun Joe blasting into the lead
00:33:57on this second lap of the great transcontinental road race.
00:34:01Frankenstein is making a left turn straight ahead.
00:34:04He's making a left turn splitting early from the pack.
00:34:07Look out, all you folks, just south of here.
00:34:09Gee, Joe, there's nobody even close behind us.
00:34:12Shh, shh, shh.
00:34:13Where's he going?
00:34:14What's he doing?
00:34:15Hey, what are you doing?
00:34:16Where are we going?
00:34:18I dropped my glove.
00:34:20Let not the ruin of thy roads
00:34:22disgust the trials of thy...
00:34:24He threw Reisler!
00:34:27Ladies and gentlemen, by a bizarre accident,
00:34:30Frankenstein has killed our cherished colleague,
00:34:33the deacon of the bipartisan party.
00:34:35I think you did that on purpose.
00:34:37I have to give the fans something to talk about.
00:34:41It's my obligation as a national hero.
00:34:43Frankenstein scores now.
00:34:45Does that score count, Harold?
00:34:47An interesting point, Junior,
00:34:50and one that may set a significant precedent.
00:34:53Can a racer score a race official?
00:34:56Oh, and after all those nice things he said about it.
00:34:59It don't matter. It don't count.
00:35:00No, you can't score religious personalities.
00:35:04The word, deacon, has been handed down to us
00:35:07from the ancient...
00:35:10The Frankenstein score has been approved for 50 points.
00:35:14The confirmation has just been handed to me.
00:35:17Why, you know what that means, Junior.
00:35:19That means that the race officials from coast to coast
00:35:22will be falling like flies.
00:35:24Frankenstein, I hate him. I hate him.
00:35:29Elevating.
00:35:59Oh, why did you do that?
00:36:18Show me she loves me.
00:36:26Come on, let's get set.
00:36:40Chicken gang.
00:36:43Chicken in a basket.
00:36:45Chicken in a casket.
00:36:55Oh, shit!
00:37:08Hey, who got the last laugh there, huh?
00:37:18The turnoff, it's coming up.
00:37:20Shall I take it?
00:37:21Who gives a goddamn shit?
00:37:23Should I?
00:37:24She says I shouldn't, so I should, right?
00:37:25Or should I? I don't know, what?
00:37:27Well, I don't think you should.
00:37:28I think it's definitely a trick.
00:37:30I'll do it.
00:37:31I won't do it.
00:37:32I'd be a schmuck to do it.
00:37:36I did it. I'm no schmuck.
00:37:39That's your story.
00:37:40That's right. That's right.
00:37:42If I see you messing with Frankenstein again,
00:37:44I'm really gonna bust your eye.
00:37:46What do you mean, really?
00:37:57I'll have an almost unlimited score possibility.
00:38:00It's pretty far down the road.
00:38:02District penitent's compound.
00:38:05All those old congressmen chained up.
00:38:07It'd be like sitting ducks.
00:38:09Yeah, and all I gotta do is drive through a cyclone fence.
00:38:12Uh-uh.
00:38:13Look, the farther west we go,
00:38:15the fewer targets there'll be.
00:38:17Hey, come on.
00:38:18Joe's already on his way to a dead end,
00:38:20and the other two...
00:38:25Okay.
00:38:29Take the next ride.
00:38:32Now, as soon as the car gets within range,
00:38:35I shall give the signal.
00:38:36We'll have just under a minute
00:38:38after they reach the turnoff.
00:38:40Lieutenant Fury figures if we do it...
00:38:41Lieutenant Fury has nothing whatever to do with this.
00:38:44I want none of his surprises here.
00:38:47I could stand for a surprise,
00:38:49like if Frankenstein didn't show up.
00:38:51Don't worry. He'll show.
00:38:56What's our estimated time of arrival in Albuquerque?
00:38:59Well, I'm not sure.
00:39:01I mean, this detour's gonna make a difference.
00:39:03Haven't you calculated our time of arrival?
00:39:05Well, of course I did,
00:39:06but I couldn't take into consideration...
00:39:08Take what into consideration?
00:39:10Frankenstein, stop the car!
00:39:12Hold on.
00:39:17What the hell?
00:39:18Keep going!
00:39:19Don't stop now.
00:39:20What are you doing?
00:39:21What are they doing?
00:39:26Sorry, brother.
00:39:40If that's the best ambush the Resistance can come up with,
00:39:42we got nothing to worry about.
00:39:44I guess not.
00:39:45One thing I can't figure out
00:39:47is why would they bother to dress that guy up to look like me?
00:39:50Maybe he was a fan.
00:39:56Who built this stinking road?
00:39:58If I ever get my hands on him, I'll rip his heart out!
00:40:02I mean it!
00:40:03I'm sick of this race and I'm sick of you!
00:40:10I guess it must have been Joe that set us up for that ambush,
00:40:12don't you think?
00:40:14Got in touch with those guys somehow
00:40:15and told them where we were going.
00:40:17I guess it might have been.
00:40:19But then how the hell did Joe know we were gonna take a detour?
00:40:23Maybe it was those guys on the pit crew in St. Louis
00:40:26who took your book out of the car while you were getting massaged.
00:40:29I didn't leave my book in the car.
00:40:32You didn't, huh?
00:40:33No.
00:40:35Well, then I guess it couldn't have been them.
00:40:38Who do you think it was?
00:40:39I have no idea.
00:40:41Why do you care as long as they didn't get you?
00:40:43Us. They didn't get us.
00:40:46We're a team, remember?
00:40:58Come on over to my side.
00:41:00You're gonna drive for a while.
00:41:02Why? I'm not trained as a driver.
00:41:04Never mind why.
00:41:06Just do as I tell you.
00:41:17I'm counting on you to make a nice big score for us.
00:41:20Sure.
00:41:23Everything's actually mine.
00:41:25The cover will turn up.
00:41:28I'm sure that it will.
00:41:45Jesus H. Christ! I'll kill that brat!
00:41:48What did I do?
00:41:49Check her face!
00:41:52Hey, Cornball, what's the fastest way through here?
00:41:54Well, actually, the only way we do it is we get a bulldozer.
00:41:58We trim this edge down here and we drive through.
00:42:00But...
00:42:01No, no. What's the fastest way between here and Albuquerque?
00:42:03You gotta go back to the main highway, really.
00:42:05But I lose 45 minutes!
00:42:07I've seen you before.
00:42:08I'm one of your greatest fans, you know that?
00:42:10I follow all of the races.
00:42:12I got pictures of you all over the outhouse.
00:42:15I named my favorite dog after you, Mr. Frankenstein. I did.
00:42:18Lousy stinkin' dirtball!
00:42:20You got two seconds to live!
00:42:53Come on, Pete, honey, you're gonna take all day with that?
00:43:06I wanna get on the road, make a few more scores.
00:43:08My bloodlust is fading.
00:43:10I'm almost finished, Calamity, sweetheart.
00:43:12We'll be back on the road in no time.
00:43:14Then we'll cream that Nazi's ass for her.
00:43:16What'd you say?
00:43:18It's speeding!
00:43:21You lousy bitch! I'll kill you for that!
00:43:24Nobody scores my Navigator and gets away with it.
00:43:45Uh-oh. Here she comes.
00:43:47And boy, is she pissed.
00:43:49Well, what does she expect? You leave your Navigator lying around?
00:43:52Naturally, somebody's gonna run over him.
00:44:19She's gaining on us, Mama, and she's got murder on her mind.
00:44:41Schnell, meine kleine Fussball!
00:45:12That's good.
00:45:14On three. One, two, three.
00:45:18Good. Easy. There she goes.
00:45:34Here they come!
00:45:40A detour. I really needed that right now.
00:46:11Holy shit.
00:46:14A special bulletin. There's been an accident. An explosion.
00:46:18It looks like Matilda has been blown totally...
00:46:26Correction! Matilda has made an impressive score. Stand by.
00:46:36Don't you want to take over now?
00:46:38I'm afraid I'm making us lose an awful lot of time.
00:46:41You're doing just fine.
00:46:54Looks like an easy score.
00:46:56Yeah. Yeah, it does.
00:46:58Always best to start small.
00:47:09I missed him.
00:47:10Take some practice.
00:47:12Before it comes easy?
00:47:14It never comes easy.
00:47:17Keep your eyes on the road.
00:47:21How far is it to the penitence compound?
00:47:25Oh, maybe 20 miles.
00:47:30Stop the car.
00:47:40Get out.
00:47:42Out.
00:47:50Come to the other side.
00:47:52Around the front.
00:48:07Where is the penitence compound?
00:48:12It's in Japan.
00:48:18Get in.
00:48:29I could just push you out of this car and pick up a quick 30 points.
00:48:34Who are you? Who are you working for?
00:48:36I'm Thomasina Payne's granddaughter.
00:48:40I'm honored.
00:48:45So you were going to capture me and replace me with that goon back there.
00:48:49What for?
00:48:51He was going to deliver our ultimatum to Mr. President.
00:48:55Your life in exchange for the permanent abolition of the race.
00:49:07Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:49:29She was a great dear friend of mine.
00:49:33And I shall remember her forever howling down that freeway in the sky, knocking over the angels.
00:49:43The valiant Hun's demise was in fact caused by enemies of the people.
00:49:49There will be a special broadcast by Mr. President at 1900 hours.
00:49:54Stay tuned to find out how you can help Mr. President preserve our way of life.
00:50:02Hey, you guys want to stop playing that song, please?
00:50:06Look, what we got here is a race, a sporting event, not some kind of daredevil stunt.
00:50:10I want some kind of protection.
00:50:11You should have given us an escort right after Nero got it.
00:50:14Go on, don't score any escort, wouldn't you, baby?
00:50:16You want to zip your lip, Myra, huh?
00:50:19Now, are you going to cover me or not?
00:50:21Look, Mr. Viterbo, if you're afraid to go on with the race, why don't you quit?
00:50:25You're calling me a turkey?
00:50:26If you ask me, you're all just making excuses for poor driving.
00:50:29Poor driving?
00:50:30Listen, honey, Matilda the Hun was a champion driver.
00:50:33Ain't nobody could have scored my navigator and gotten away with it.
00:50:36And he's talking about poor driving.
00:50:38I'd like to see you out there.
00:50:39Yeah.
00:50:40I've been driving for 10 years.
00:50:41Nobody talks to me like this.
00:50:42You know you're an idiot.
00:50:43Stinks.
00:50:44It's all on account of the rebels.
00:50:45Who mentioned anything about rebels?
00:50:47There are no rebels.
00:50:49Understand?
00:50:50Well, then, who was that old lady on the television?
00:50:53Thelma Sia Paine.
00:50:54She's a heartless lunatic.
00:50:55Would you please come outside, sir?
00:50:56We'd like to ask you a few questions.
00:50:59Come on, honey.
00:51:00Alone, if you don't mind.
00:51:02Mr. President will explain those accidents during his address to the nation tonight.
00:51:06How did she jam the networks?
00:51:08How'd she bump off our friends?
00:51:09She didn't bump off anybody.
00:51:11She walked into a television station, waving a gun, forced them to put her on the air.
00:51:15Now, we've taken her back to the asylum, and that is the end of it.
00:51:18You know, I've got just two words to say about that.
00:51:20Oh?
00:51:21Bullshit!
00:51:22Hey!
00:51:23I told you to stop playing that song!
00:51:26You seem to forget, Gerald, that I'm a representative of Mr. President's government.
00:51:30I happen to hold the power of life and death.
00:51:33Yeah?
00:51:34I happen to hold the clam sauce.
00:51:38Look out, Viterbo.
00:51:39You may be the second biggest clown in this circus,
00:51:42but if I want you dead, you're dead.
00:51:45You're dead.
00:51:46You're dead.
00:51:47You're dead.
00:51:48You're dead.
00:51:49You're dead.
00:51:50You're dead.
00:51:51You're dead.
00:51:52Dad?
00:51:53Sit down and eat!
00:52:00I told you to stop playing that music!
00:52:03Were they armed, or did they expect the fire and the dish to be enough to stop you?
00:52:06I don't know what they expected.
00:52:08We just ran through it all and kept on going.
00:52:12Just one more question, Mr. Frankenstein.
00:52:16Did you take that particular road on your own initiative,
00:52:18or on the advice of your navigator?
00:52:22On my own initiative.
00:52:24Thank you, Mr. Frankenstein. That will be all.
00:52:29There has been a lot of talk about American rebels.
00:52:34We have positive proof that it was none other than the treacherous French
00:52:39who have been sabotaging our great race,
00:52:43just as they and their stinking European allies
00:52:48have undermined and destroyed our great national economy.
00:52:54It is no coincidence, my dear children,
00:52:56that the word sabotage was invented by the French.
00:53:01Where's Annie?
00:53:02I don't know.
00:53:03Hey, did you hear the news?
00:53:05Mr. President said it was the French who knocked off Nero and Matilda.
00:53:09Watch out for the creeps who's at us.
00:53:12Machine gun Joe Viterbo and Frankenstein
00:53:15as they begin the last lap of their long and difficult journey
00:53:21toward new Los Angeles.
00:53:28Drop your keys.
00:53:31I was just looking for something I lost.
00:53:34The race?
00:53:36Look, Joe.
00:53:38I threw you off course, okay?
00:53:41All's fair in love and war.
00:53:42I'm glad to hear you say that, Annie,
00:53:44because what we've got going here definitely ain't love.
00:53:48Well, then why don't we just forget about it?
00:53:52You know, Annie,
00:53:53these two bad things ain't like they were in the old days
00:53:56when we'd just take somebody in an alley and blow their brains out.
00:53:59You know?
00:54:01Joe, please.
00:54:02Go ahead and scream, Annie.
00:54:04You're hurting me, Joe.
00:54:05There's nobody to hear you.
00:54:08Huh?
00:54:13How does it feel to know
00:54:15that you're going to spend the rest of your life in pain?
00:54:18The rest of your life.
00:54:19It's about a minute and a half.
00:54:23Oh.
00:54:24Hey, Frankie.
00:54:25Frankie, I thought you navigated trying to screw around with the car,
00:54:29so I thought I'd come out and have a look
00:54:31and see what was going on, you know what I mean?
00:54:33Hey, come on.
00:54:34Frankie.
00:54:42Come on.
00:55:13Ah!
00:55:15Ah!
00:55:24Ah!
00:55:26Ah!
00:55:28Ah!
00:55:31Ah!
00:55:43Ah!
00:55:57Upstairs.
00:55:59So much for a fair fight.
00:56:02Next chance I get,
00:56:05you're dead.
00:56:13What were you doing down there?
00:56:14Getting more secret instructions from the lunatic fringe?
00:56:22Why don't you just turn me in and get it over with?
00:56:25No need to.
00:56:29You're blowing your cover.
00:56:31You're no threat to me.
00:56:32Anyway, you're not someone I would throw away.
00:56:36I have a job to do.
00:56:37Your job is a waste of time.
00:56:40The world doesn't want to be saved.
00:56:42I'm giving you a chance to save one small part of it.
00:56:46Yourself.
00:56:48Who are you, anyway?
00:56:51Nobody.
00:56:54I was brought up in a government training center
00:56:56to be just what I am, Frankenstein.
00:56:58The best driver on earth, this year.
00:57:02They use one up, they bring in another.
00:57:05But I will be the last of the line.
00:57:07Oh, who's kidding who?
00:57:13I never kid.
00:57:14Come on.
00:57:40Why don't you ever take off that glove?
00:57:42What's underneath it?
00:57:45It's my secret.
00:57:48You and the Swiss doctors again?
00:57:51There are no Swiss doctors.
00:57:54Just...
00:57:56Native American.
00:57:59Noir.
00:58:13Have you checked the oil?
00:58:14Yes.
00:58:15Have you checked the hydraulics?
00:58:16An hour ago.
00:58:18Brakes, tires, water?
00:58:19Yeah, they're okay. Everything's okay.
00:58:22Don't worry, I'm not going to do anything to sabotage the car.
00:58:28You get a load of that face?
00:58:30Yeah, I wonder if somebody got points for that eye.
00:58:34Listen, Frankenstein,
00:58:35I don't know what you're talking about.
00:58:37I don't know what you're talking about.
00:58:39Listen, Frankenstein,
00:58:40there's just you, me, and Joe left in the race,
00:58:42and, well, I just want you to know that
00:58:45whoever wins or whatever happens,
00:58:47it's been really grand racing with you folks.
00:58:51I also want to say that I think you make a real nice couple.
00:58:54Thank you, Jane.
00:58:56Good luck.
00:59:05Joe, Myra,
00:59:06I just want to say,
00:59:07whatever happens, whoever wins...
00:59:09Hey, save it for the French.
00:59:14The cars are started, lined up,
00:59:16and ready to roll on the last lap.
00:59:18They're off!
00:59:19Frankenstein, call me crazy!
00:59:21Joe has just scored his own pit crew!
00:59:24You lousy sons of bitches!
00:59:29Machine gun Joe Viterbo,
00:59:31that funny man from Chicago,
00:59:33has scored his own mechanics for 40 points
00:59:36and is off to catch Calamity Jane and Frankenstein.
00:59:49Screw you, Joe Viterbo, and your mother!
00:59:52Wait till you get to New L.A. first
00:59:54with the highest score, too.
00:59:56It's coming up on the left.
00:59:59Forget it, Humpty.
01:00:00It's coming up on the left.
01:00:02Forget it, I'm keeping Frankie in my sights.
01:00:05He's got five minutes on us and he's stretching it.
01:00:09So what? If there's trouble up ahead, he'll find it first.
01:00:12Oh, yeah, take a look at your face.
01:00:15You'll find it first.
01:00:18You know, Myra, some people might think you're cute,
01:00:21but me, I think you're one very large baked potato.
01:00:25Roaring down Motorway 66 towards California,
01:00:29Frankenstein looks certain to be first across the line,
01:00:32but Machine Gun Joe is still way ahead on points,
01:00:36and he could win the race
01:00:38even by arriving second in New Los Angeles.
01:00:41What's your prediction, Grace?
01:00:44You know, Junior,
01:00:46when Machine Gun Joe was just a little boy in Chicago,
01:00:50he had a pet snake that he used to love
01:00:52to ride over with his tricycle.
01:00:59Let's go.
01:01:30Tires screeching
01:01:41Tires screeching
01:01:59Tires screeching
01:02:29Tires screeching
01:02:46Break out the thermos and pipe, Audrey.
01:02:48Coming right up.
01:02:59Tires screeching
01:03:15Here. I didn't mean to hog it all.
01:03:17Thanks. What flavor is it?
01:03:19Uh, vanilla.
01:03:21Hmm, not my favorite.
01:03:23Tires screeching
01:03:27Isn't it vanilla?
01:03:29It's peach or something.
01:03:31Yeah, well, my taste buds got wiped out in the crash of 97.
01:03:34Well, it's a good thing that mine is still intact.
01:03:37At least the French can't poison us.
01:03:43What's Frankenstein's location now?
01:03:46He's about 50 miles out, Lieutenant.
01:03:49They're coming fast.
01:03:52Goodbye, Mrs. Payne.
01:03:54When you see me again, Frankenstein will be my prisoner,
01:03:57and the whole country will know we must be taken seriously.
01:04:00Fury, wait. I'm coming with you.
01:04:02No, Mrs. Payne. It's too dangerous.
01:04:04Nonsense. I've waited 20 years for this moment.
01:04:07Oh, I know I can't join you on the mission,
01:04:09but I want to see you pull it off with my own eyes.
01:04:13A couple of turnoffs coming up.
01:04:16What's the quickest way to U.L.A.?
01:04:18That's funny.
01:04:20What?
01:04:23I can't... I can't seem to focus my eyes on the map.
01:04:27I think we stay on seven.
01:04:29I feel like I'm gonna pass out.
01:04:32Look at that.
01:04:37It's them, isn't it?
01:04:39Please, please stop the car.
01:04:41Sorry. We're in a race.
01:04:51Frankenstein, stop right now. We want to talk to you.
01:04:57Stop before I force you to.
01:05:12I'll bomb you to a halt if I have to.
01:05:21Annie, help me. Turn off the engine.
01:05:26Annie's dead, Mrs. Payne. He must have killed her.
01:05:31Now I'm really gonna let him have it.
01:05:51Look at that. The Rebels are sure giving it to Frankenstein.
01:05:55Thank you, Rebels.
01:05:57Baby, I think we got this race won.
01:06:00Aren't we gonna help him, Joe?
01:06:02What, are you nuts or something? I'm getting my ass out of here
01:06:04before they decide to make emergency landing.
01:06:06Come on, sit down.
01:06:08That a girl.
01:06:20Annie! Annie!
01:06:50Annie!
01:07:21Annie!
01:07:47Annie!
01:07:51Annie!
01:08:02Well, America, there you have it.
01:08:04Frankenstein has just been attacked by the French Air Force
01:08:08and he's whipped their derrieres.
01:08:10His point total for this one will be something astronomical.
01:08:14Machine Gun Joe better watch out.
01:08:21Right on schedule.
01:08:23Hey, what happened?
01:08:25I slipped you a 30-minute sleep X.
01:08:27Didn't want you doing something back there we would both regret.
01:08:30Did they attack us?
01:08:32According to the radio, we were attacked by the French Air Force.
01:08:35Was the plane shot down?
01:08:37Even though Swiss doctors couldn't have helped.
01:08:40I'm sorry. I know they were your people.
01:08:43But I can't let anything stop me now.
01:08:46They didn't expect you to give up easily.
01:08:48They were prepared for whatever happened.
01:08:51Oh, my God, you've been hit.
01:08:53I'll make it.
01:08:56I'm sorry things worked out this way.
01:09:00It's not over yet.
01:09:02I'm afraid it is.
01:09:04Hey!
01:09:19Hey!
01:09:37What the hell do you think you're doing?
01:09:39It doesn't make any difference what happens to me now.
01:09:42Now, that is the dumbest, sorriest thing I've ever heard you say.
01:09:45I don't believe you've got a drop of Thomasina Payne's blood in your whole body.
01:09:49The minute things get rough,
01:09:51you close your eyes and try to drive us off a cliff.
01:09:54If you just stop trying to kill me for a minute,
01:09:56I need your help.
01:09:58How can you possibly expect me to help you?
01:10:01You're my navigator.
01:10:03You're the only one who knows where you're going.
01:10:05I mean, whose side are you on anyway?
01:10:08I thought the only thing you cared about was winning the race.
01:10:11Sure.
01:10:13Only the winner of the race is to shake hands with Mr. President.
01:10:17Is that a grenade?
01:10:19A hand grenade.
01:10:21That handshake is all I've lived for for as long as I can remember.
01:10:26Now, wait a minute. I don't want you to die.
01:10:33It's my life's work.
01:11:14Why do you want to win this race so bad?
01:11:17Why do I want to win this race?
01:11:19In the name of hate.
01:11:21One big 50 for hate.
01:12:13Whoa!
01:12:43Ow!
01:13:05Give me your hand! Give me your hand!
01:13:14Ow!
01:13:21Ow!
01:13:23Hey, stop! Will you stop the car?
01:13:25Shut up! What is it?
01:13:27Ow!
01:13:29Stop the goddamn car!
01:13:31Stop the car!
01:13:44You're going to have to shift the gears for me now.
01:13:47The only thing that worries me
01:13:50is how I'm going to shake hands with Mr. President.
01:13:54Mr. President is the one who should be worried now.
01:14:14He's coming!
01:14:16Can you hear that engine? Still in perfect tune.
01:14:20Here he is, the one and only three-time winner
01:14:24and sole survivor of the 20th annual Transcontinental Road Race,
01:14:29none other than Frankenstein himself.
01:14:33And now, Mr. President.
01:14:35Our enemy, the French,
01:14:38have destroyed nearly all
01:14:41our gallant racers,
01:14:44just as they have crippled our once great economy
01:14:48and wrecked our telephone system.
01:14:51But even they, in all their evil power,
01:14:55were unable to destroy Frankenstein,
01:14:59who is the embodiment of our national virtue
01:15:03and, therefore, indestructible.
01:15:06It is fitting that Frankenstein should be the one chosen
01:15:10by your president to lead you in this war
01:15:14against the French, which I now decree.
01:15:20Frankenstein has been shot!
01:15:22There is a French spy in our midst!
01:15:24Guards, seize that woman!
01:15:26Frankenstein, are you all right?
01:15:41Eddie!
01:15:46Frankenstein!
01:16:11Frankenstein!
01:16:13Frankenstein!
01:16:15Frankenstein!
01:16:17Frankenstein!
01:16:19Frankenstein!
01:16:21Frankenstein!
01:16:23Frankenstein!
01:16:25Frankenstein!
01:16:31Mr. and Mrs. President Frankenstein,
01:16:34dear friends of mine,
01:16:36can you tell us what your first official acts will be?
01:16:39I plan to pension off the secret police,
01:16:42restore free elections and minority privilege,
01:16:45and move the seat of government back to New Los Angeles.
01:16:48The country has been governed from abroad long enough.
01:16:50Mr. President Frankenstein, is it true
01:16:53that you are now accepting rebels into your government?
01:16:56Well, since I have accepted one into my house.
01:17:00President Frankenstein has appointed my great-grandmother,
01:17:03Thomasina Payne, in view of her experience in the field,
01:17:06as the Minister for Domestic Security.
01:17:08And I plan to deal very harshly with rebels.
01:17:12Anybody who is unhappy with happiness
01:17:15can go find someplace else to live.
01:17:18What about the race?
01:17:20The race is abolished.
01:17:21Abolished?
01:17:22That's right.
01:17:23We feel that the country no longer needs
01:17:25this gratuitous display of violence
01:17:27to show the world that its virility is still intact.
01:17:30Right.
01:17:31But Mr. President Frankenstein,
01:17:32isn't it true that as a racer,
01:17:34my virility depended entirely on violence?
01:17:36I'm afraid I shall have to let my press secretary
01:17:39answer that question.
01:17:41Stop annoying Mr. President
01:17:43with impertinent questions, Junior.
01:17:45It's the race, man.
01:17:47President Frankenstein, you can't call off the race.
01:17:50The American people won't stand for it.
01:17:52Get out of the way, Junior.
01:17:54The race is the symbol of everything we hold dear,
01:17:57our American way of life.
01:17:59Sure, it's violent, but that's the way we love it.
01:18:02Violent, violent, violent!
01:18:04And that's why we love you!
01:18:06Frank, do we have to listen to this?
01:18:08No.
01:18:19As do this matter of violence.
01:18:22The technique of violence was first developed
01:18:25in two million B.C. by the Australopithecines,
01:18:29who were four-foot primates who had no brains to speak of,
01:18:33but who nevertheless invented the tomahawk
01:18:36and used it on each other.
01:18:38This practice led to the enlargement of the brain,
01:18:42another useful weapon.
01:18:44Yes, murder was invented even before man began to think.
01:18:49Now, of course, man has become known
01:18:53as the thinking animal.
01:19:29© transcript Emily Beynon