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00:00That's the move that won the championship for Leonard Varensky, European chess master.
00:15Check.
00:16No, he was Romanian.
00:19Oh, the coffee is boiling, 52.
00:23I'll get it.
00:24Just as soon as I move, my knight.
00:54I thought you'd make that move.
01:06There, what do you think of that?
01:11Now, wait a minute, 52.
01:14Nobody likes a sore loser.
01:1752.
01:1852.
01:2052.
01:25Three agents murdered.
01:2723, 49, and now 52 right here in control.
01:31In my own laboratory.
01:33A little close to home, isn't it, Professor Sontag?
01:35All right, Max, tell me exactly what happened.
01:37Well, first of all, chief, he moved his pawn to his queen three.
01:41Then I moved my knight to my vicious four.
01:43No, Max, I mean, did he do anything suspicious?
01:47Well, yes, as a matter of fact, he did, chief.
01:49He left his queen unguarded.
01:51Max, will you forget the game?
01:53An agent has been murdered, the third control agent in as many weeks, and always on the weekend.
01:58Can you think of any reason why it should always be the weekend?
02:01Well, maybe the killer works during the week.
02:05What troubles me most is that all the victims have the same suspicious marks.
02:10Marks?
02:11What marks, chief?
02:12Look at his neck.
02:17Not his neck, Max, Agent 52.
02:19Oh, right, chief.
02:21Oh, yes, I see what you mean.
02:23Two tiny puncture marks about an inch apart.
02:28Chief, you don't suppose...
02:29Of course I don't.
02:30All that publicity about vampires is just the newspaper's way of boosting circulation.
02:34I guess you're right, chief.
02:36It's incredible to think of a vampire abroad in the 20th century.
02:39It's incredible in any century, Max.
02:41Vampires are a myth.
02:43What do you think, Professor Sontag?
02:45Well, there are boundaries to the scope of scientific knowledge.
02:49It is said, you know, that when a vampire strikes, it leaves two marks very much like these on the neck.
02:56That's ridiculous, Professor Sontag. That's an old wives' tale.
02:59You're right, Max.
03:00Of course I'm right, chief.
03:02Werewolves leave marks on the neck. Vampires go right for the throat.
03:06Max, there are no such things as vampires.
03:09Right, chief.
03:11Well, it's a good thing we're all sensible, civilized men who don't believe in a lot of superstitious nonsense.
03:16Right.
03:19Max!
03:20Don't walk under that.
03:41Don't walk under that.
04:11Newspapers are having a field day, Max.
04:24People of Washington are terrified of this so-called vampire murderer.
04:27We've got to stop him before anyone else is killed.
04:30I know, chief.
04:31The people of New York are afraid to go out at night.
04:33They're afraid of the vampire?
04:35No, they're just afraid to go out at night.
04:39What is it?
04:41Oh, Eric.
04:42Does he have the detector tuned with him?
04:44Good. Send him right down.
04:47Now, Max, what else did you come up with in your research?
04:50Well, chief, I picked up some very important facts about vampires.
04:54What is it?
04:55Let's see.
04:56Now, in 1958, Dr. Franz Heisser appeared before the National Council of Scientists in Vienna
05:01and presented a paper that claimed vampires do exist.
05:04Of course, they discredited his theory.
05:07What happened to Dr. Heisser?
05:08He flew away.
05:11In a plane, chief.
05:12Max.
05:13Now, our one clue is the melody you heard just before the murder.
05:19Oh, Eric, is the detector tune ready?
05:21Yes, chief.
05:22Good.
05:23Now, how does it work?
05:24Well, the detector tune can reconstruct any melody in the same way that a criminal's face
05:30can be reconstructed from the descriptions of witnesses.
05:32Now, can you remember any of the notes that you heard?
05:34Just tell me anything you remember, Max.
05:36Let me see now, chief.
05:39Um...
05:57All right.
05:58A little faster than that.
06:09Eric!
06:11Sorry, chief.
06:13Try to get it, Max.
06:14This may be vital.
06:15All right, chief.
06:16Now, let me see.
06:24No, no, no, no, no.
06:31Yeah, yeah.
06:38Oh, love that melody.
06:40Love the melody.
06:41Heart of my heart
06:44Brings back a memory
06:48When we were kids
06:51On the corner of the street
06:54We were rough and red
07:02What are you doing, Max?
07:03I'm putting you down for the lead in the Spy Frolics, chief.
07:06Max!
07:09Eric, has Sontag finished the autopsy yet?
07:11I think so.
07:12He'll be with us in a moment.
07:13He's on the phone.
07:15Wait, Dr. Drago.
07:16Don't hang up.
07:18Drago.
07:19Drago.
07:20Where have I heard that name?
07:22Drago, Drago.
07:23Of course.
07:24Dr. Drago.
07:26He was the professor's predecessor here at the lab.
07:28That was before we came to control.
07:29Why did Drago leave control?
07:31I think he was caught doing some unauthorized experiments.
07:34Oh, Dr. Sontag.
07:35What did you find out from the autopsy?
07:37Nothing.
07:38Nothing?
07:39You heard me.
07:40Nothing.
07:42What are you doing with the Detecto tune?
07:44Well, I heard this melody when Agent 52 died and we were trying to reconstruct the tune.
07:49That's ridiculous, Smart.
07:51You're imagining things.
07:53How did this melody go?
07:55Well, have you ever heard the song, Heart of My Heart?
07:58Yes.
08:00That wasn't it.
08:03Take over here, Eric.
08:04I have to go visit an old friend.
08:07Will you be taking another of your long weekends, Professor?
08:10I don't know.
08:12But I want you to look over those reports on my desk.
08:17Phone calls to Dr. Drago on long weekends.
08:20There's something funny going on here, 99.
08:22I think we better put the professor under surveillance.
08:25Right.
08:26Shouldn't we check with the chief first, Max?
08:27No.
08:28There won't be any time for that.
08:29He's leaving now.
08:30I don't want him to know we're following him.
08:31Right.
08:35Shh.
08:50Suntag's getting into his car, 99.
08:52We'd better follow him.
08:53But Max, shouldn't we stay and investigate Drago?
08:55He must be the key to all of this.
08:57But what are we going to tell Drago if we find him?
08:59That our car broke down.
09:01Oh, come on, 99.
09:02He'll never fall for that old gag.
09:16Come on, let's go into the house.
09:18What do we tell Drago?
09:19That our car broke down.
09:20Max, what do we use for cover?
09:22I've got an umbrella in the trunk.
09:24No, Max, I need a disguise.
09:26Oh.
09:27Well, let's see what's in the trunk.
09:28Right.
09:3399, what's the combination of the trunk?
09:35Uh, C-A-44-N.
09:44Now, let's see.
09:45We've got the newlyweds cover, the diplomat cover,
09:47the lime chamber cover, the cover...
09:48Oh, let's use the newlyweds cover.
09:50I've been dying to play that role.
09:53Oh, Max, they're lovely.
09:59Here, take some rice, 99.
10:01Right.
10:09I've got to take the commando kit.
10:11We might need it later.
10:12Good thinking.
10:13Oh, Max, I've got to go.
10:14I've got to go.
10:15I've got to go.
10:16I've got to go.
10:17I've got to go.
10:18I've got to go.
10:19I've got to go.
10:20I've got to go.
10:21Good thinking.
10:22Close the trunk, 99.
10:23Right.
10:24Let's go.
10:37Look, 99, there's someone there.
10:39It must be Drago.
10:43What's he doing?
10:44He's getting into his coffin.
10:46Getting into his coffin?
10:52Uh, good evening.
10:53Is this the Honeymoon Motel?
10:54No, it is not.
10:55This is my home.
10:56I am Dr. Serturandus Drago.
10:58Oh, uh, good evening, doctor.
11:00I'm, uh, Maxwell Smart, and this is my wife, Mrs. Smart.
11:03Uh, we're on our honeymoon, and our car broke down.
11:06I, uh, don't suppose you could put us up for the night.
11:08My privacy is most important to me.
11:10Besides, I don't think you would be comfortable here.
11:13On the contrary, doctor.
11:14I think this is a charming place.
11:16So fresh and inviting.
11:18I think it's a perfect place to spend a honeymoon.
11:20I don't suppose you'd consider selling it.
11:23This house is 200 years old.
11:26It is said that many weird and terrible things have happened here.
11:30There are frightening noises at night.
11:33The people nearby say that the tortured spirits of the dead
11:36still inhabit these rooms.
11:39Is there anything else you'd like to know?
11:41Is it near a school?
11:42Stop growling, dear. We can always hire a tutor.
11:47Oh, hi there.
11:48Hugo cannot answer you, Mr. Smart.
11:51Unfortunately, he has lost the power of speech.
11:56What did he say?
11:57He said, unfortunately, I have lost the power of speech.
12:01And now, if you will excuse me,
12:03I shall call a garage and see if I can get you a new car.
12:06Thank you.
12:07He has lost the power of speech.
12:09And now, if you will excuse me,
12:11I shall call a garage and see to your car.
12:13You say it broke down on the road.
12:15Which one is it?
12:16It's a red and black coupe.
12:18No, no, I mean, which road is it?
12:20The road right outside your castle, doctor.
12:23Ah.
12:24Honeysuckle Road.
12:27Hugo, close the French doors.
12:38Now, let us see about our guest's automobile.
13:01It's locked.
13:03What do we do now, Max?
13:05What do we do now, Max?
13:06Well, first of all, 99, we've got to look in this coffin.
13:09Oh, do we have to?
13:11You see, 99, according to the legend of the vampire,
13:13ridiculous though it may seem,
13:15vampires always sleep in their coffins.
13:17Why would they do that, Max?
13:18Well, if you'll go around biting people on the neck,
13:20I guess you'll do just about anything.
13:25Max, I'm frightened.
13:27Don't be silly, 99.
13:29All these stories about vampires and witchcraft are ridiculous.
13:32Why, they're nothing but fairy tales to frighten little children.
13:35I give you my word, there's absolutely nothing to them.
13:37Right.
13:39On the other hand, I could be wrong.
13:41Listen, Max, I have an idea.
13:43Why don't we just check out everything else in the room first?
13:46I've got a better idea, 99.
13:48Process of elimination.
13:49How does that work?
13:50We check out everything else in the room first.
13:52Good thinking.
13:53I'll start with the desk.
13:54Right.
13:5699, wait a minute.
13:59I think we're being watched.
14:00Where?
14:01Look casually over your left shoulder.
14:05Notice the portrait?
14:06Yes, what of it?
14:07I think I saw the eyes move.
14:10Oh, Max, how could they?
14:12Very often in old houses like this, they have secret passages.
14:15And they use the eyes of portraits to spy through.
14:18You stay here, I'll fix it.
14:19Right.
14:21Okay.
14:31Okay, 99.
14:32Good.
14:37What are you doing, Max?
14:38I think I've got a stone from the driveway in my shoe.
14:42Oh.
14:45There's nothing in here except this old invoice with some numbers on it.
14:48What do you think that means, Max?
14:55Wow.
14:56What's wrong?
14:58I don't know. Everything went black for a minute.
15:00You probably bent over too fast.
15:03Where's the invoice, Max?
15:04What invoice?
15:06The one I just found in the desk. You just took it.
15:10Let's start from the beginning, 99.
15:12Now, I sat down here in the chair.
15:14Right, and I started going through the desk.
15:16And I leaned over to get the stone out of my shoe.
15:18Right, and then I picked up a piece of paper and I held it up in my hand.
15:22And I held it out to you.
15:24Oh.
15:27Good, you found it.
15:30I'll say I did.
15:31This is the biggest pebble I ever saw.
15:34I think it cut off the circulation of my eyes.
15:37Max, there's nothing on this piece of paper.
15:40What in the world are you talking about, 99?
15:42Max, a few seconds ago I picked up a piece of paper from the desk and it had some numbers on it.
15:46Now, you must be imagining things.
15:48But you took it from me.
15:50All right, 99. Let's start from the beginning.
15:52Right.
15:53I sat down in the chair.
15:54And I began to go through the desk like this.
15:56And I leaned over to...
16:00It distresses me to report that your car won't be ready before tomorrow morning.
16:05Ah, well, that's quite all right, doctor. I guess we'll just have to hoof it.
16:08Come on, honey.
16:13Well, it was a rotten night for a walk anyway.
16:16Mr. Smuck, you and your lovely bride will be my guests.
16:21Hugo, show them to their room.
16:24Oh, and should you hear any unusual noises during the night, you needn't be alarmed.
16:31It will just be Hugo pursuing his career.
16:34His career?
16:35Yes. He wants to be a band singer.
16:38Oh, forgive me, Hugo. A big band singer.
16:44Now, Hugo, if you would take our guests to their room.
17:09And don't you love those curtains?
17:11Of course, if that were my chair, I'd have it recovered.
17:13And the whole room, if it were painted a lighter color, would look so much bigger.
17:18Okay, 99.
17:20There don't seem to be any microphones around.
17:25Oh, I wish I could remember what was on that paper in the library.
17:28Forget it.
17:29I'm going to go to the library.
17:30I'm going to go to the library.
17:31I'm going to the library.
17:32I'm going to the library.
17:33I'm going to the library.
17:34I'm going to the library.
17:35I'm going to the library.
17:36I'm going to the library.
17:37I'm going to the library.
17:38Forget it, 99.
17:39Let's see what control has given us in the newlywed kit.
17:46Throwing knife.
17:49Knockout drops.
17:51Revolver.
17:54Brass knuckle.
17:57This must be the commando kit.
18:02Ah, this is the newlywed kit.
18:05Toothpaste.
18:07Throwing knife.
18:09Knockout drops.
18:11Revolver.
18:13Brass knuckle.
18:16I know the paper had some numbers on it, but what could they mean?
18:2099, what's the sense in talking about it if you can't remember the numbers?
18:23Wait a minute, Max.
18:25What do the years 1923, 1949, and 1952 mean to you?
18:30Three great years for Burgundy.
18:32No, Max.
18:33Three fair years for Burgundy.
18:34Wait.
18:35Take the 19 from in front of each of those numbers and what do we have?
18:39What were the numbers again?
18:4023, 49, and 52.
18:4223, 49, 52.
18:4523, 49, 52.
18:4999.
18:50What?
18:51Those were the numbers of the three agents who were killed.
18:56Max!
18:58Then that ties Drago into the murders.
19:0199, we've got to take another look around downstairs.
19:03Right.
19:04But what if we're being watched?
19:05You're right.
19:06We've got to keep up our cover at all times.
19:08We've got to do everything honeymooners do.
19:12Here.
19:13These pajamas are our best bet.
19:14Get into them.
19:15Max!
19:17They're bulletproof, 99.
19:25Come on, 99.
19:27Drago must be asleep by now.
19:28We've got to take a look inside that coffin.
19:30Right.
19:31But you've got to lock us in, Max.
19:32How are we going to get out?
19:34We'll just use this expando rights.
19:43Uh, 99, while I'm stuffing it in the keyhole, you get the special toothpaste.
19:46Right.
19:47It's Mark Ignato paste.
20:01Come on.
20:22Come on, 99.
20:23That's really wild rice.
20:25The wildest.
20:31Can I use that?
20:32Sure.
20:36I think Drago has finished his nap.
20:41Look, 99.
20:42There's a stairway in the coffin.
20:44Exactly, Mr. Smart.
20:47This coffin has kept nosy intruders from discovering the entrance to my laboratory.
20:53Not many men have the courage to open the coffin.
20:56Especially from the inside.
20:58You are a clever man, Mr. Smart.
21:01Clever enough to see through your scheme, Dr. Drago.
21:04You killed those agents.
21:06You were driven by bitterness because of your dismissal from control.
21:10And then when you found that you were under suspicion, you threw us a red herring.
21:14The vampire.
21:15Yes.
21:17And I was dismissed by control.
21:19I was disgraced in my profession.
21:21I vowed that all the control agents who testified against me would perish.
21:26Have you guessed how the murders were carried out?
21:28It was the music, Mr. Smart.
21:31The music?
21:34The music they played when 52 died, of course.
21:37Precisely, Mr. Smart.
21:39I'll show you.
21:47This twin-channeled flute is my finest invention.
21:51At high sea, it fires two poisoned ice pellets.
21:56The ice dissolves.
21:58The poison does its work.
22:00And the police are left to ponder the mysteries of vampires.
22:05Well, Dr. Drago.
22:07You've played your little song of death for the last time.
22:10I beg to differ, Mr. Smart.
22:17And now, Mr. Smart.
22:19It is your turn to hear my sonata of death.
22:23But before I begin, do you have any last request?
22:28Do you know any show tunes?
22:33Drop the flute, Drago.
22:35Santa, if you shoot, the girl will die.
22:37Shoot, Santa!
22:49Max, what's he saying?
22:52I'm not sure, 99, but I think it's...
22:55I get no kick from champagne.
22:59So you see, although I suspected Dr. Drago,
23:02I felt I owed him the chance to prove his innocence.
23:05After all, he was my teacher.
23:07So you went to his house that night
23:09to confront him with your suspicions?
23:11Yes.
23:12And that's when we put you under surveillance.
23:14I know.
23:16But what you didn't know is that 99 and I
23:18were following you to Drago's place
23:20in a controlled tracking car, did you?
23:22Not until I caught you in my rear-view mirror.
23:24When was that?
23:26Just after you crashed into the rear end of my car.
23:29Well, you stopped awfully short, you know.
23:32Incidentally, Max, do you recall
23:34what that melody was that Drago was playing?
23:36I'm not sure, Chief.
23:3899, did you bring the flute with you?
23:40Yes, it's right over there.
23:42Oh, thank you, 99.
23:46Is that the murder weapon?
23:48Right, Chief.
23:50Only now it's just a harmless old flute.
23:52Now let's see.
23:54How did that melody go?
23:59Smart.
24:02Sorry about that, Chief.
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