Love is not natural, Love has to be learnt || Acharya Prashant, at BITS Goa (2023)

Acharya Prashant

‍♂️ Want to meet Acharya Prashant? Be a part of the Live Sessions: https://acharyaprashant.org/hi/enquir...   Want to read Acharya Prashant's Books? Get Free Delivery: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/books?...  ~~~~~  Video Information: 12.01.23, BITS, Goa  Context:  What is real love? Our love is only hormonal?  Why do we come in a relationship?  How to form a healthy relationship? What is the real meaning of love?  When you love something, you kill it!  Be very cautious of natural love   Music Credits: Milind Date  ~~~~~

Transcript

00:00you

00:30I think this is a follow-up question to one of your videos in which you described

00:36about somebody probably raised a question about physical love and then

00:40you explained then you concluded with the statement that Prem karna seekhna

00:47hota hai so I wanted to learn more about this and how can I cultivate this kind

00:51of a love in my own life

01:00you see whatever comes naturally to you must be taken as problematic I'm saying

01:13this with a lot of responsibility and intent instead we have been taught to

01:21accept natural things as beneficial as alright just because they are natural

01:30that which is natural is exactly that which keeps you in bondage that which

01:44you usually call as love is just natural attraction belonging to the domain of

01:56attachment asakti lust one has to look at it with attention is it love is it

02:15love real love cannot be something so cheap that it starts coming naturally to

02:28you the day you are 14 now I'm 14 my hormones are active my glands are

02:41overactive there is puberty so I'm in love and I couldn't have been in love

02:48at the age of 10 or 11 ever seen somebody falling in love at the age of

02:55four six five something keep medical tragedies aside you have stuff of that

03:06kind somebody is generating a lot of testosterone even at the age four so

03:11those kind of cases can be how is it so that love of the kind that we know of

03:19happens only after you cross a certain age obviously that's not love that's

03:26something of the body and if certain hormones are taken away from the body

03:33that kind of love cannot happen right right so what what what love is that

03:40that's just iron and magnet sodium and water a chemical reaction that's what

03:49that love is but unfortunately even very very intelligent people brilliant in

04:00their fields of occupation brilliant in dealing with the objective world when it

04:09comes to love they do not know their mind they do not know what is happening

04:14within and then they make disastrous life choices in terms of choosing a

04:23person choosing a residence choosing a vocation those who have researched into

04:35it those who have known something they have said please understand what the

04:41mind is they have said the mind is a thirsty entity the mind is an entity

04:50that is always in want therefore what is love that which quenches the mind's

04:59thirst is love the mind is always in a state of attraction it is attracted to

05:08something that would bring peace to it so what then is love something that

05:16would really bring peace to you that is love not hormonal activity that cannot

05:23be love but what we find is that men are necessarily attracted to women women are

05:29necessarily attracted to men obviously that has to be hormonal even if men are

05:33attracted to men that's for sexual reasons so even that is hormonal that is

05:44not love that is that is just the jungle that's just the old natural

05:50prakritic game of reproduction playing itself out you might say that you have

06:01fallen for her eyes or hair or voice or style or knowledge but ultimately what

06:10you get is a baby and that's what all natural love is for procreation nothing

06:17else take sex out of the equation and tell me will people marry at all come on

06:29guys be a bit honest if it is certain that there is no possibility of sex

06:37would you ever marry then you know what you marry for you can marry if you know

06:45no money is involved you can marry if you know that the right caste is not

06:50involved you can marry even if a lot of other desirable things are not in the

06:57picture you'll still somehow tolerate the marriage but you cannot tolerate the

07:07marriage if there is no sex involved even the law says that if there is no

07:13sex for a period of X months then the couple is entitled to be divorced you

07:24can be separated because there is there is no real action happening so you're

07:33not man and wife anymore so that's not love nor is it love when you say oh I

07:42love chicken right sometimes you want a living body sometimes you want a dead

07:53body and both these things you call as love the thing is that it is your love

08:01that turns the living body into a dead body because you love the chicken

08:06therefore the chicken is dead and that defines our love when you love something

08:13you kill it the same mind and the same mouth that says oh I love chicken that

08:21also says oh I love my kids so I also love my wife I also love my country see

08:26what your love did to the chicken that's what your love does to the country and

08:30the family and now you understand why the family and the country and the

08:36entire world are in such a terrible shape because you love them love means

08:44consumption to us that's what comes naturally to us be very cautious of this

08:51word natural never never use this word to justify what you are doing or feeling

08:58don't say but it is natural if it is natural go to the jungle all natural

09:03things are for that place is it natural to sit in this auditorium is it natural

09:12to be carrying those gadgets then why do you keep talking of nature is it natural

09:20to wear clothes is it natural to have thoughts is it natural to do whatever to

09:26be educated is it natural is it natural to brush your teeth then why do you keep

09:34saying you know but in the jungle the the lion kills the deer and eats it so

09:38it is natural to kill animals and eat them I'm a flesh eater I cannot live

09:43without chicken and it is natural to eat those things you know I have these two

09:48teeth I heard those arguments yeah you know these two teeth so I'll kill all

09:57right kill but never brush those teeth and kill with those two teeth just as the

10:06lion tears into the flesh with its teeth do you have that strength in the jungle

10:14all hunting happens with your hands and claws and teeth do that and eat raw flesh

10:23that's natural come on show why do you keep talking of natural things in nature

10:29there is no husband and wife why do you marry your wife the neighbor has an

10:37equal right over her that's natural so if you say flesh eating is natural I'll

10:44say you know send your wife over that's natural in the jungle do you have

10:53priests and legal systems and things like marriage so be very cautious of

11:02stuff that is natural you know now he's 18 so he is falling for girls all this

11:09is natural all this is bullshit

11:19and if you are to do natural things tell yourself I do not deserve to have a B.Tech

11:27degree I do not deserve to ride a car I do not deserve to operate Facebook or

11:35Instagram all I deserve is a cave in the jungle go there and do all the

11:41natural things right fair enough that's why I said real love has to be

11:53learned it cannot come to you naturally don't say I'm 18 therefore I have

11:58naturally fallen in love it takes a lifetime to learn love love is not so

12:07cheap that you will just get it the hormonal way without doing anything

12:14without putting in any effort without earning it love has to be earned and

12:21that's what all spiritual pursuit is about learning love learning love we do

12:31not know love 99 out of 100 people die without having loved even for a second

12:42see how horrible that is is it not to live for 80 years and not love even for

12:52a moment is that not horrible that's how most people live no love loveless lives

13:02loveless just natural and that too distorted kind of nature in jungle at

13:13least you have pure nature the rabbits do what they are conditioned to do

13:17biologically that's nature right for them we do what the jungle does but in a

13:25distorted way so we are far worse than nature we have fallen below Prakriti

13:38whereas the mandate if you are born human being is to rise above Prakriti

13:46are you kidding it oh the mother loves the child does she not come on come on

14:02come on come on the mother has the child right the child is like what six days

14:10old ten days old the mother is still in the hospital and then the doctor comes

14:16and says unfortunately you know when the kid was was there being treated in the

14:24incubator a lots of kid have to be kept in the incubator for a few days oh your

14:28kid got swapped no no this is not your kid that one is your kid what happens to

14:33this kid then and she loves the kid what happens to the love don't you see

14:43this is not love this is just animalistic attachment possessiveness my

14:49baby coming from my body is not love no the mother-child relationship is not at

14:58all of love that's why love needs to be learned just because you have given

15:08birth you will not automatically become loving that's called ownership not love

15:18mamta mamta is not love mama means mine my relationship with this thing is that

15:25it is mine mamta mine so I own it I possess it it is mine and that's why I'm

15:31taking care of it because it is mine just as I take care of my car just as I

15:36take care of my pots because they are mine now that's not love that's not love

15:41I love my doggy so I feed it chicken because I'm an animal lover is that love

15:52but that's what you hear all the time don't you that's the world we live in I

16:00love my dog is so much being an animal lover I feed it the choicest chicken and

16:13I get a million likes on Instagram I just take my doggy and so you look at my

16:17doggy so ill and I'm taking care of it and nobody bothers to ask what really is

16:26going on nobody bothers to ask because in the jungle that which appears is the

16:38truth the animal cannot know beyond the obvious that's why they are trapped so

16:46easily no the animal by definition has no insight it just believes in what it

16:54sees and so do we most of us as human beings we just believe in what we see if

17:01you believe in what you see you are an animal oh what to do

17:11insight what does insight mean oh there is something beyond the obvious

17:19something beneath the apparent and if I can look at it that's what makes me a

17:25human being and by the way that is also what is love to know the reality you

17:35cannot be in love if you do not know what is real and you cannot know what is

17:44real if you are attached to what is unreal so the first thing in love is to

17:50drop the nonsense to clear the rubbish that's what is love that's the first act

17:56of love I am in love so what do I do I pick up a broom clear the rubbish love

18:05demolishes love destroys love cleans up love clears therefore it is said that

18:14love gives clarity because love clears

18:29something something related to this somebody or we done with this people who

18:38are in love how I love it to address the lovers that's what keeps me going huh

18:51yes an extension of this question is I think in one of the same videos you

19:00also said key if there is a mathematician who sits down to do some

19:03mathematics or if there is a singer who sits down to his Riyaz any practitioner

19:09who does something that they they love that is also a form of devotion that is

19:14devotion is that what you meant to say yes that's very true so but we don't

19:19take it that way we don't take it that way we are so so enamored with with the

19:28sensual objects that we do not see what is hidden something somebody is somebody

19:38is prostrating in front of a deity we will say this one is a devotee but a

19:46scientist sincerely committed to the truth experimenting in his lab we'll

19:54never say now this one is a real devotee we talk of devotion as something

20:00exclusive to the temples how is this that is happening here not a religious

20:07act please tell me that which is happening here how is this not

20:12meditation how is this not devotion at this moment how is this place not a

20:18temple please tell me but it does not occur to us sir how can it be a temple

20:25there is no deity there is no tomb we do not see the the formal apparatus here

20:37learn to see what is not visible if you will see only that which is visible you

20:43will never be able to see beauty you'll only see cosmetics you understand what

20:50is cosmetic made up false only falseness is visible the truth has to be seen with

21:00insight insight

21:07are you getting it

21:13Oh

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