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Sunday Morning Live 30 June 2024

Join me as I share reflections on solitude, conscience, and the impact of human connection on mental well-being. I delve into the psychology of hypocrisy and the importance of honesty and self-awareness in relationships and personal growth. We explore virtues, navigating ethical dilemmas, and the transformative power of encountering virtuous individuals. I emphasize the significance of embracing truth and virtue for genuine connections and navigating personal and professional challenges with integrity. Let's delve into these deep topics and strive for ethical conduct and understanding in our interactions.

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Transcript
00:00:00Good morning, good morning, everybody.
00:00:02Oh my gosh, it is the 30th of June, 2024, 11 a.m. on this glorious blustery windy nipple
00:00:12pokey chilly Sunday morning, and welcome to our Cathedral of the Interactive Mind exhibit
00:00:18called Livestream Philosophy, so hello, hello.
00:00:25And we got some good questions.
00:00:27All right, let me ask you this.
00:00:29What is the longest time you've gone alone?
00:00:36What is the long, yeah, June just went by.
00:00:40I mean, June went by so fast it was like every moment for Biden.
00:00:49So, yeah, well, what's the longest time you've spent alone?
00:00:54By that I mean sort of basically without any face-to-face human contact.
00:01:04Always, have you answered the questions you asked for a week ago or should I ask mine again?
00:01:09Never hurts to ask again.
00:01:11Does going to work around other people count?
00:01:13No, let's say just being alone, going to work and interacting with people, so that's face-to-face, right?
00:01:20Face-to-face interactions with people.
00:01:22And I don't just mean like getting groceries or something.
00:01:25Maybe a week at most, four to five days, maybe two weeks, wow, two weeks.
00:01:29Your entire childhood?
00:01:30Oh, I'm sorry to hear about that, but of course that wasn't true, you went to school, I'm sure.
00:01:36Maybe three days, maybe two weeks, yeah.
00:01:40Do video chats don't count?
00:01:42No, it has to be face-to-face, like face-to-face, probably around three days.
00:01:47Yeah.
00:01:50So, a couple of weeks, wow.
00:01:52Now, how did you find it?
00:01:54How did you find it?
00:01:55Because, you know, one of the things about being married is you're never alone.
00:01:59Never alone.
00:02:01And, of course, I've been married for 21 years now and my wife and I spent pretty much every day together for the 11 months after we started dating and before we got married.
00:02:13And it's constant.
00:02:16And then again, in particular, when you have kids, right, you're with the kids all the time and the kids have friends over and all of that.
00:02:24And I just did, well, I mean, technically it was six days, but I don't really count the sort of half days.
00:02:29But my wife and daughter went away for five days and they wanted, you know, we want to make sure as parents that we have one-to-one relationships with our kids.
00:02:39Sometimes my daughter and I will go away and sometimes my wife and I, and they went away for five days.
00:02:45Now, it was really good for me in a lot of ways, and I've talked about this before.
00:02:48There's some real ups and downs, some pluses and minuses to all of that.
00:02:53But it's interesting.
00:02:56It's interesting.
00:02:58Because I have not spent five days alone in probably a quarter century.
00:03:09And it was very interesting.
00:03:11Of course, I got a lot of stuff done, right?
00:03:13There's no interference in productivity.
00:03:15And I'm a little bit of a workaholic.
00:03:18Well, you know, I sort of feel that because what I do is very unique and powerful, and because it's going to be around for all time, why not add more to it?
00:03:30And I feel I have been given a kind of gift, which I've worked to develop and all of that.
00:03:34But I've been given a very unique gift in the history of human thought.
00:03:39And I sort of feel a strong responsibility to get useful, valuable, innovative, creative thoughts out there because, you know, we pass this way but once.
00:03:53And the bigger the footprint we leave, the more value we've extracted from our time.
00:04:00And, of course, I did a lot of call-in shows.
00:04:03I worked on the Peaceful Parenting book.
00:04:05I did lots of great stuff.
00:04:06But, man, you can really feel the drift.
00:04:09You can feel the drift.
00:04:11And I generally don't experience loneliness.
00:04:15I mean, my head is so populated, it's like an interactive art exhibit village debate square in here.
00:04:25And so I don't particularly – I don't think I've ever really experienced loneliness.
00:04:29But I could certainly see that the isolation, so to speak, was having some effect, right?
00:04:33Because I went to the grocery store and I could see – I wasn't like, oh, I've got to talk to the cashier.
00:04:38But I could see how people – how you can create this sort of glass barrier of isolation around you and how you just be desperate to reach through it.
00:04:46I could see why sometimes older women who are lonely go to doctors and, oh, you know, I'm feeling a little unwell.
00:04:52Just to have a little bit of interaction and to feel like they – it's hard to feel like you exist completely independent of other people.
00:05:00We're a social species, which means our consciousness relies on others.
00:05:03Like our consciousness has evolved for interaction, right?
00:05:08Like our eyes in the front of our face so that people can watch our backs, right?
00:05:12So our minds have developed that we offload our sense of objectivity and reality to some degree to other people.
00:05:21This is one of the great lies of objectivism, that you can stay sane entirely in isolation.
00:05:26You can't.
00:05:27You cannot stay sane entirely in isolation because our reality processing is offloaded to other people, their feedback, their confirmation, their affirmation.
00:05:38This is one of the reasons that language developed so that we could offload our reality processing to others and therefore we could concentrate more on singular things.
00:05:48So I can see how people in isolation can really end up drifting, you know, like just slightly going out of focus a little bit each day, right?
00:06:01Slightly going out of focus a little bit each day and that there is this – we get this incredible desperate hungry need for a human contact.
00:06:11And we do not exist really entirely in our own minds.
00:06:17And this is not even a theory.
00:06:19Like we have evolved.
00:06:20We are the most social species on the planet.
00:06:23We are like absolutely by far there's not even a close second.
00:06:27We are as socially advanced as we are conceptually advanced.
00:06:31So we are the ultimate social species.
00:06:35Now when you're on your own though, right?
00:06:37You can play your video games, I guess.
00:06:39You can order in your food.
00:06:44You can, I guess, make your own food.
00:06:46And you can be self-sufficient in a way that really wasn't possible throughout almost all of human history.
00:06:53Almost all of human history, if you were alone, you were dead, right?
00:06:56So we have this fear of isolation because isolation is genetic death, obviously, but it's also physical death because we got to sleep.
00:07:03Like one of the reasons we sleep well and long and which allows our brains to grow, we sleep deep and long because people watched over us while we slept.
00:07:12Like prior to having sort of houses or security that way, people watched over us while we slept.
00:07:18Which is why there are night people and there are morning people, right?
00:07:21Those morning people don't make me rant about that again.
00:07:24Oh yes, the hours from 6 to 10 a.m. are somehow magically more valuable than the hours from 10 p.m. to 2 a.m.
00:07:29It's just magic.
00:07:31The fear, the hostility to night people is like this bizarre fear of the dark.
00:07:36It's got the intellectual equivalent of, there are monsters under the bed.
00:07:40Oh no, you're awake in the dark? Dark is bad.
00:07:44Okay, excellent.
00:07:46You go right ahead there, Socrates.
00:07:48I'll still watch over you while you sleep, you dozy bastard.
00:07:54But yeah, I can see that, I can feel that drift.
00:08:00Now, I mean, I'm doing a lot of call-and-show, some of them of course are these new private calls.
00:08:06And those are very intense, right?
00:08:07Because we talk about topics that people don't want to talk about publicly, so those calls are very intense.
00:08:11Yeah, I get up early, therefore I'm good.
00:08:13Yeah, it's the early to bed and early to rise, man to man, healthy, wealthy and wise.
00:08:18But most fun is had in the dark.
00:08:21So yeah, it's really, really the saddest thing.
00:08:23Thank you for your donation.
00:08:24Oh yeah, of course, right.
00:08:26And I've got an interesting question to answer here, but I just wanted to talk a little bit about it.
00:08:30But it's kind of a new thing for me.
00:08:32So yeah, I did a lot of work.
00:08:33I'm now more than halfway through shrinking the Peaceful Parenting book down to about a third of its former length,
00:08:40which is really tough work.
00:08:42And so that's work.
00:08:44But you know, people want shorter versions and I don't want people to have the...
00:08:47I want a comprehensive case.
00:08:49So the full Peaceful Parenting book is proof beyond a reasonable doubt.
00:08:52It's a criminal standard of proof.
00:08:54In fact, it's down almost to deductive reasoning.
00:08:59So the full version is the criminal case.
00:09:02The shorter version is the civil case, right?
00:09:04So proof, the preponderance of evidence, 51%, as opposed to 97% proof, which is needed for criminal cases.
00:09:12So one is the criminal case and the other is the civil case, so to speak.
00:09:16But I don't want people to have the excuse of like, it's too long.
00:09:18I don't have the time, right?
00:09:20Even though Netflix's numbers are huge, people apparently just don't have the time to read about Virtue.
00:09:26So, yeah, I enjoyed it.
00:09:28And, you know, because obviously you can do whatever you want, right?
00:09:32I mean, you can do whatever you want.
00:09:35You can go to bed when you want.
00:09:36You can eat whatever you want.
00:09:37You can eat whatever you want.
00:09:39I did give myself a tiny little treat.
00:09:42I have been off sugar for five, six months, and I did have, I gave myself a little bar of chocolate, which was nice.
00:09:50It's very nice.
00:09:52Do you have a struggle with staying focused with a lot of free time?
00:09:54I'm very interested in improving the way I use my free time to better support my family.
00:09:58I don't have a lot of free time.
00:10:00What on earth gives you the indication that I have a lot of free time?
00:10:04I mean, I book the calls and I do the shows and I do the reading and I write the books.
00:10:09And I talk with Jared and James and the other guys so that we can better serve you, the listeners.
00:10:16You know, I got to talk to accountants.
00:10:18I got to do my taxes.
00:10:19You know, like, oh, my gosh, right?
00:10:21What are you talking about?
00:10:22All of this.
00:10:24Free time.
00:10:26So, what can I tell you?
00:10:30So, yeah, be careful, man.
00:10:33I understand the comfort of not having to compromise or negotiate or whatever it is, right?
00:10:38You know, like, there have been times, of course, when I have a great idea for a show and my daughter's like, hey, let's go to the cat shelter and play with the cats.
00:10:49And I'm like, okay, yeah, I'll do the show later.
00:10:52But, you know, my daughter is in her last couple of years of being at home.
00:10:56So, I really wanted to enjoy this last time.
00:11:02So, yeah, I'll do it.
00:11:03But you don't have to do any of that.
00:11:05You don't have to compromise.
00:11:07You know, I feel like eating this.
00:11:09I feel like eating a bowl of cereal standing over the sink.
00:11:11No problem, right?
00:11:13I can just go and I did lots of exercise and all of that.
00:11:18And so, yeah, it's pretty nice.
00:11:23And it's kind of seductive.
00:11:25It's a little devilish, right?
00:11:26No compromise, no interference, so to speak, no negotiation, right?
00:11:32And yet, and yet, there is a sort of foggy glass wall that begins to build around you through which you have to claw your way through to get back to others.
00:11:49So, yeah, it's very interesting.
00:11:53How do you...
00:11:54Okay, so, I think it's really interesting.
00:11:56I'm not exactly...
00:11:57I mean, I was very happy that they were gone in a lot of ways because I just did have a lot of work to do.
00:12:01And having that kind of concentrated time is great.
00:12:04I'm very happy that they're back and so on.
00:12:07So, it's just great.
00:12:08It's just lovely.
00:12:10So, yeah, just watch out for that, man.
00:12:12Watch out for that solitude, man.
00:12:14It can really become tougher and tougher to reach through that foggy wall.
00:12:20All right.
00:12:22Let's get through.
00:12:24Yeah, I mean, I think it's worth experiencing.
00:12:26I mean, obviously, once in a great while, but you've got to be careful because it can be a little demonic, right?
00:12:31It can be a little, oh, I could get used to this.
00:12:33And it's like, oh, I shouldn't get used to this, right?
00:12:41All right.
00:12:45Donate on free domain.
00:12:46Yeah, freedomain.com slash donate.
00:12:48Steph, I'm just going to say I've been talking with a lot of people about spanking.
00:12:51I never realized the lengths people would go to justify hitting children.
00:12:55Sunday morning philosophy, let's go.
00:12:57Yes.
00:12:58Yes, that's right.
00:12:59That's right.
00:13:00And you understand, you know that people aren't fighting you, right?
00:13:04People aren't fighting you.
00:13:05People who don't listen to reason are never fighting you.
00:13:09That's why it's just so important to not take things personally, right?
00:13:14People who are fighting reason and evidence, who are fighting facts, they're never fighting you.
00:13:21It's not about you.
00:13:22They're too selfish for that.
00:13:26Most people only interpret conversation relative to their own emotions, not relative to facts,
00:13:35not relative to reason, not relative to virtue or morality or any higher standard or honesty.
00:13:41They only process information based exactly and totally on how it makes them feel.
00:13:51I mean, this is the inevitable result of a detached from reality matriarchy.
00:13:56That's the welfare state.
00:13:58People only interpret communication.
00:14:02Most people only interpret communication based on how it makes them feel,
00:14:07which is why programming people with falsehoods, which then become addictive for their emotions,
00:14:13is the best way to shut down any honest and direct conversation.
00:14:17So when you say, you know, maybe we shouldn't hit our children, people are not reacting to you.
00:14:25They're not reacting to what you say.
00:14:27They're not reacting to children or hitting or morals or virtue or improvement.
00:14:31They're not reacting to any of that.
00:14:33They're reacting to one thing and one thing only, which is how they feel about that.
00:14:38Now, if you have hit children or justified hitting children, your conscience is a beast.
00:14:49Your conscience is a beast.
00:14:52You want to think of a... there are two wolves, right, in everyone.
00:15:00Now, the wolf of a bad conscience will tear your fucking liver out.
00:15:05But if you have a good conscience, you want to think of it not as a wolf,
00:15:08because what it has become is a domesticated, man's best friend, helpful dog.
00:15:14A bad conscience is like being Liam Neeson in the wilderness hunted by a pack of wolves.
00:15:18A good conscience is having all of the helpful, friendly, positive, benevolent animals in the universe
00:15:25aiding you in living your life.
00:15:29But you can only tame the wolf of a bad conscience through virtue,
00:15:34because the conscience doesn't give a shit about your feelings.
00:15:37It doesn't give a shit about your delusions.
00:15:39It doesn't give a shit about your conformity.
00:15:41Your conscience only cares about one thing and one thing only,
00:15:45how honest, direct, and virtuous you are.
00:15:49So if you've ever said to a kid, use your words, not your fists.
00:15:53If you've ever said to anyone, I don't like violence,
00:15:55if you've ever said to anyone we should use reason, not violence.
00:15:58If you've ever been shocked and appalled and lectured people for being too aggressive
00:16:03and you've got to be nice and not use violence,
00:16:05your conscience says, okay, okay, got it.
00:16:09Violence is bad.
00:16:12Violence is bad.
00:16:13And if you've ever defended the helpless,
00:16:14oh, these people are poor and marginalized and excluded
00:16:17and we have to bring them in and be nice to them
00:16:19and the poor, sad, and powerless people in this universe have to be taken care of by society.
00:16:23It's like, okay, okay, got it.
00:16:25Your conscience is like, okay, got it, got it.
00:16:29These are the rules.
00:16:30Don't use violence.
00:16:31Protect the weak.
00:16:34Don't use violence.
00:16:35Protect the weak.
00:16:36Don't use violence.
00:16:37Protect the weak.
00:16:38Got it.
00:16:43So somebody says we shouldn't hit children and you say, oh no, we should.
00:16:48You have just made a wolf pack in your mind.
00:16:53Because there's one thing and one thing only that the conscience loathes more than any other thing.
00:16:59And that is hypocrisy.
00:17:06Oh, Lord above.
00:17:08Oh, sweet Jesus in the heavens.
00:17:11If you are a hypocrite,
00:17:12your conscience goes from a dog you can pet to a coked up pack of wolves and pit bulls that will tear your balls off.
00:17:24Hypocrisy.
00:17:27Don't do it, man.
00:17:28Not even once.
00:17:30Don't do it.
00:17:32So most people, all they're doing is running from the wolves they've created through their own fucking hypocrisy.
00:17:43That's all they're doing.
00:17:47If you were in the water, you're in the ocean, fairly far from shore, you're swimming around and somebody comes along and dumps a bunch of fish guts in the water.
00:18:08It's warm water, right?
00:18:10Warm ocean water.
00:18:11You're swimming out there, half a mile from shore, and somebody comes by and starts spooning what they call a chum, right?
00:18:18Starts spooning.
00:18:20I learned that from Valerie Taylor, believe it or not.
00:18:23Somebody starts spooning fish heads, guts, and blood into the water around you, then speeds off.
00:18:27How do you feel?
00:18:30Well, you're going to freak out because that's going to draw all the sharks in the known universe to come and chew and eat and bite.
00:18:40You don't hate the person.
00:18:43You don't hate the chum.
00:18:45You don't hate the ocean.
00:18:48You fear the sharks.
00:18:51Your fear of the sharks, of course, is translated into hatred of the person.
00:18:57Fear the sharks.
00:18:58The sharks are, of course, the conscience.
00:19:01People are not angry at you.
00:19:04They're frightened of their own conscience.
00:19:09And they feel that their conscience will kill them.
00:19:17You think I'm kidding about this.
00:19:19The only reason you wouldn't believe me on this is because you haven't pushed people into the jaws of their own bad conscience decisively enough.
00:19:26People genuinely and deeply feel that their conscience will kill them.
00:19:32And they're kind of right.
00:19:36Because the false self, which is the hypocritical superstructure we erect on our lies to mask our hypocrisy, the false self is the natural prey of the violated conscience.
00:19:53The conscience is about truth.
00:19:55Because we all say we value truth.
00:19:56We all say we value honesty.
00:19:58And then if you lie pathologically, your conscience will hunt you down.
00:20:04And you spend your entire life keeping a bunch of wolves at bay.
00:20:10Why do people become pathological liars?
00:20:14Because the wolves are always there.
00:20:17Always sniffing.
00:20:18Always hunting.
00:20:23So people feel, when you start bringing these things up, they feel a deep existential panic.
00:20:31And as the conscience hunts them, they hunt you.
00:20:37As the conscience aggresses against them, they aggress against you.
00:20:41Which only makes the conscience even more angry and ferocious.
00:20:44And you don't know how many people are holding wriggling, well-oiled, many-fanged, multi-eyed demons with tentacles made of razor wire at bay at all times.
00:21:00You know, there's this, oh, be kind.
00:21:02You never know what struggles are people going through.
00:21:04It's like, I know exactly what struggles people are going through.
00:21:07They become hypocritical, false, manipulative bastards.
00:21:11And they're holding their conscience at bay.
00:21:15And they can only hang with people who keep their conscience at bay.
00:21:20And if you come along and surprisingly make them feel bad, right, because if you speak the truth, the conscience is like, oh, shit, we've got reinforcements.
00:21:29We've got allies. Attack!
00:21:31And people, the false self recoils from the conscience.
00:21:37Because the false self knows that if the conscience gets its teeth on the neck, it's done for.
00:21:43And an actual, humble, honest self can emerge.
00:21:46An actual, honest, integrated, non-hypocritical, with integrity self can emerge.
00:21:54But the false self doesn't want to give up its control.
00:21:56You ever seen an exorcism? It's the same thing.
00:21:58The false self doesn't want to give up its control over the personality.
00:22:01The false self is an organism that wants to survive.
00:22:06And it can't survive by fighting.
00:22:09It can only survive by fleeing.
00:22:11You can't survive an ocean full of sharks in a feeding frenzy.
00:22:16All you can do is get out of the ocean, which means to dissociate and dissociate others and go against truth.
00:22:22So, you know, when I've said to people over the years, if you have problems, say, with whoever, let's say your parents,
00:22:26if you have problems with your parents, you go and talk to them.
00:22:29And the fundamental reason for that is to see if they can handle their conscience,
00:22:32which means to see if they can handle the presence of other people.
00:22:37The conscience is constantly sniffing the air, looking for the reinforcements of external virtue,
00:22:42of honesty, of non-liars around.
00:22:46You can lull it to sleep when it has no allies in the same way that Tank Man in Tiananmen Square did not go up and start biting the tanks.
00:22:56You can, with overwhelming falseness, you can obey the conscience.
00:23:03But the moment the conscience sniffs external reinforcements, some reality principle, some moral principle.
00:23:09And there's a reason for that.
00:23:10And the reason for that is if you're surrounded by absolute lying shitbirds your whole life,
00:23:15well, you've got to reproduce, so the conscience goes to sleep.
00:23:19But the moment there's a quality person around, the conscience is like,
00:23:22free will has arrived, we now have a choice, we can reproduce by getting out a trash planet, so let's fucking go!
00:23:34Sniff a virtue all the time. Sniff a virtue all the time.
00:23:37Is there an ally? Is there someone out there who's not a total lying, falsifying shitbird?
00:23:45Is there anyone, anywhere, that can tell a sliver of truth?
00:23:52So, if you're out there, the conscience has gone to sleep because the conscience has been programmed by external shitbird stimuli
00:24:02to believe that there's nothing better that can be achieved, so what's the point?
00:24:09There's nothing better that can be achieved, so what's the point?
00:24:12But the moment that someone virtuous comes along, the conscience is like,
00:24:16what? It goes from nothing to awake, in a moment, awake and ferocious.
00:24:22Shit! We have a choice! We can do better! Let's go!
00:24:31And that is why people attack you. It's why they attack me.
00:24:37They're not attacking me.
00:24:40They're trying to put their conscience back in the grave.
00:24:45They're trying to drug their conscience, because their conscience is saying,
00:24:50there's better standards, there's someone better, there's truth, there's honesty, there's directness, there's virtue,
00:24:55there's integrity, it's out there, so let's go! We have a choice!
00:24:59And they're saying, no, no, that guy's evil! No, no, he's evil! He's evil!
00:25:04And the verbal abuse, it's not against me, it's not personal to me, it's against their own conscience, right?
00:25:09It's against their own conscience. So don't take it personally, because if you take it personally, you lose.
00:25:14And don't let people interpreting everything according to the virulence of their bad conscience,
00:25:20don't let them ever make you think that it's personal to you, that they're judging you,
00:25:28that there's some standard that they're evaluating, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:25:32It's never anything to do with that.
00:25:34Once you see people's bad conscience operating, you will never again take things personally.
00:25:52And that is the superpower called integrity.
00:25:56Everyone's trying to chase...
00:25:58So what everyone, by trying to convince you that you're bad or evil or wrong or irresponsible or racist,
00:26:03what they're trying to do is they're trying to transfer their bad conscience to you.
00:26:08Oh, I am a bad person! I guess I must be a bad person! Everyone hates me!
00:26:12Right, so they're trying to transfer their bad conscience to you.
00:26:16Which is why they're abusers, which is why they have a bad conscience in the first place!
00:26:20Don't let it happen. Don't let it happen.
00:26:28People who've done evil, sorry, you're going to have to find a way to live with it.
00:26:34Hopefully improve. Don't care. I don't care. I'm still going to tell the truth.
00:26:38So I hope that works. All right.
00:26:41Great work, Steph, on spreading the peaceful parenting message. Keep up the awesome work. Thank you.
00:26:47Hi, Steph. I just started reading a peaceful parenting book together with my wife and we love it!
00:26:51My question, in September we expect a baby. Sometimes I feel anxious in this current world.
00:26:55It's like there is a World War III on the way.
00:26:58I live in Belgium with my wife and soon my daughter, baby on the way.
00:27:02What? Yeah, you just said that.
00:27:04How can I protect my family financially and also on safety?
00:27:07Should I move to another part of the world with my family? Should I take a remote job?
00:27:14That's not a philosophical question.
00:27:16So you can look into multiple passport situations.
00:27:21You can look into the prepping community.
00:27:23You can look at the remote work community.
00:27:25You can look at the laptop visa community.
00:27:29There's tons of things that you can look into.
00:27:31But these are sort of practical questions of legal and immigration and expat aspects.
00:27:40So I can't answer that. That's not philosophical.
00:27:43But you can look into all these communities and so on, right?
00:27:45How do you select employees?
00:27:47I'm interested in how you ensure they are moral to avoid hiring fat people to write recipes for a diet book, so to speak.
00:27:52What level of immoral or unethical or unprofessional behavior would lead you to firing them?
00:27:58I don't think I've ever...
00:28:01Well, I don't know, unprofessional.
00:28:03I don't think I've fired people for morality over the course of my life.
00:28:10Yeah, I don't think so.
00:28:16I mean, I tend to work with people I've known for a long time.
00:28:20Friendships or job interviews going on half a decade or, in one case, 15 years.
00:28:27So I tend to hire people who I've known for a long time.
00:28:32There's been a lot of vetting for all of that.
00:28:35All right.
00:28:41We'll get on with your questions.
00:28:45It's a lot easier, as you say, to fall into degeneracy if you live alone.
00:28:48Well, I think that that can be true, yeah, for sure.
00:28:52In my nightmare scenario, if I went to prison, I'd serve out my time in isolation.
00:28:56Yeah, I understand that, but you would go a little crazy, right?
00:28:59Kevin Bacon style.
00:29:01And the other thing, too, is that in most prisons, aren't you working somewhere or for someone?
00:29:07I think so.
00:29:09Thank you for the donations.
00:29:11FreedomAid.com slash donate.
00:29:14I work a solitary remote job, so I totally understand how seductive isolation can be.
00:29:18Yeah.
00:29:22People get a lot of emotional and psychological discomfort with spanking or giving their parents any responsibility.
00:29:27Yeah, for sure.
00:29:29For me, it's equally abusive for a parent to yell at others in front of their children.
00:29:33My dad rarely yelled at me directly, but worked from home many years and frequently yelled at people on the phone.
00:29:37It freaked me out quite a bit.
00:29:41So, Joseph?
00:29:46Hi, Joseph.
00:29:48What do you mean by equally abusive?
00:29:52How would that be measured?
00:29:53On what metric?
00:29:55Don't carry a precision when asking about principles.
00:30:01Exactly what percentage more evil is rape than assault?
00:30:07It's like, nope, don't do that.
00:30:10Don't start to get multi-floating-point-integer-trailing-integers when...
00:30:21Oh, I guess long, not integer.
00:30:23Integer is minus 3, 2, 7, 6, 7.
00:30:25To plus 3, 2, 7, 6, 7, we're talking about longs or even doubles.
00:30:29Oh, lordy, do I know a little bit about variables in computer programming.
00:30:33So, what do you mean equally?
00:30:37Equally.
00:30:39That's saying that there's some sort of comparator.
00:30:43We can say roughly better or worse.
00:30:46Rape is worse than assault.
00:30:49But if you look at two assaults, are they equally abusive?
00:30:52Nope.
00:30:53With principles, don't look for numerics.
00:30:59Don't look for comparators.
00:31:03So, it is abusive for your children to see you lose control of your temper
00:31:10and yell at people unless there is some big emergency, right?
00:31:18Because you are transmitting to your children that you have no control over your temper.
00:31:24Or, there's two things, I guess, let me sort of refine that a bit.
00:31:28So, if your dad's yelling at people on the phone all the time or a lot,
00:31:31that's going to freak out your kid because either your dad doesn't have control over his temper,
00:31:40in which case he could blow up at you for whatever reason,
00:31:43or your dad does have control over his temper because he yells at people on the phone but not really at you,
00:31:49which means that he's incredibly manipulative and faking a bad temper in order to get his way,
00:31:55which is a kind of lie.
00:31:57Well, neither one is good. In fact, the second's probably worse.
00:32:02Hi, Steph, I haven't yet listened to or read peaceful parenting,
00:32:06but I'm wondering if you covered where young children, 8 and 11 years old,
00:32:10will justify their parents' emotional and physical abuse citing they're quick to anger.
00:32:17Just about everything about that question is annoying, to be honest.
00:32:22Hi, Stephan, I haven't yet listened to or read peaceful parenting,
00:32:26but I'm wondering if you've covered where young children, 8 and 11 years old,
00:32:29will justify their parents' emotional and physical abuse citing they're quick to anger.
00:32:33So, what you mean by that is that the parents, that the young children justify their parents' emotional abuse
00:32:40citing they're quick to anger.
00:32:43Honestly, just about everything about this is incredibly annoying to me, to me.
00:32:48I don't mean you're objectively annoying.
00:32:50First of all, I've made the book free since last October,
00:32:53and you haven't bothered to listen to or read it.
00:32:57Right.
00:32:59I mean, there's a table of contents on the e-book.
00:33:03You can find what you're looking for, click to it, and read it.
00:33:06So, you can't be bothered to spend 10 minutes getting a free book
00:33:12and checking the table of contents or doing a search.
00:33:18So, you don't care about peaceful parenting.
00:33:23And you don't even really care about this question,
00:33:25which means that you're asking it is a kind of manipulation.
00:33:30Also, of course, you're a donor, because you're typing here, I assume you're a donor,
00:33:34so you get also access to the peaceful parenting artificial intelligence engine for free.
00:33:39You could ask that question there.
00:33:42So, Steph, I don't care about your peaceful parenting book,
00:33:45but I want you to answer my peaceful parenting question.
00:33:50That's weird. Honestly, that's weird.
00:33:52At least tell me why you haven't listened to or read it yet.
00:33:57Then you're asking me to remember what's in the book that's close to 500 pages.
00:34:05Every little argument, every piece of data.
00:34:08So, come on, man.
00:34:10And then you're saying, what is the moral responsibility of children
00:34:17justifying their parents' emotional and physical abuse, citing they're quick to anger?
00:34:22So, are you ascribing some kind of moral responsibility, choice or options
00:34:29to children who are 8 and 11 years old?
00:34:338 and 11-year-old children aren't justifying anything.
00:34:36They're just trying to survive.
00:34:41It's not a choice. They're trapped.
00:34:46They're trapped in emotional and physical violence in a hailstorm of fists and screaming.
00:34:52But they justify it. It's like they don't justify it.
00:34:54They're just trying to survive.
00:34:56They don't have a choice to justify or not justify.
00:34:59Of course, they'll make up some stuff to minimize their agony,
00:35:02but this is not a justification.
00:35:04This is just a survival mechanism.
00:35:08So, I'm sorry. Just to be harsh, I'm just being direct.
00:35:11At every conceivable level, that's trolley, and I'm not going to answer it.
00:35:18Bonjour, Stéphane. Today the French people voted in their next government puppet.
00:35:22Ah, yes, the illusion of having a choice.
00:35:29Yeah, they tried that in Italy too, right?
00:35:31That woman who's like, I'm going to deal with all these problems.
00:35:37If a woman is not fit or is overweight,
00:35:39is it superficial and vain to not want a relationship with her,
00:35:42or are you living your truth?
00:35:45Boy, what do you mean living my truth, your truth?
00:35:49Truth is not something you own.
00:35:56Your truth is like going into a room and yelling at people for breathing,
00:36:00your oxygen, that's my oxygen.
00:36:04Truth is objective. There's no such thing as your truth.
00:36:07There's no such thing as your truth.
00:36:09It's an absolute oxymoron.
00:36:13It's the equivalent of a square circle,
00:36:15something that is equally subjective and objective at the same time,
00:36:19and it's like, no.
00:36:21Your truth is like the objective physics of your dreams.
00:36:24It makes no sense, and I don't know what people are listening to.
00:36:28But if a woman is not fit or is overweight,
00:36:31not want a relationship with her.
00:36:33No. No.
00:36:36So what do we look for as men?
00:36:39Let's just talk about men here, right?
00:36:41This is male asking about a female, right?
00:36:45What are we looking for as men?
00:36:48Well, we're looking for a woman who has self-control and self-discipline.
00:36:54And why are we looking for that?
00:36:55Because a woman is looking for a man who has self-control and self-discipline.
00:36:59Because men are physically stronger and bigger,
00:37:01we have more testosterone, more aggression,
00:37:03and so she wants a man with self-control and self-discipline
00:37:06so he doesn't belt her or scream at her when she does something that annoys him.
00:37:17Or belt and hit the children when they're annoying.
00:37:21And also she wants a man who has some self-control and self-discipline
00:37:25so that he can work his way up the ladder of the economy
00:37:28without getting fired for screaming at or hitting his boss or go to jail.
00:37:32So a woman is looking for a man with self-control and self-discipline
00:37:35so that he can be a good provider out there by being aggressive,
00:37:38but also be a loving father at home by being gentle.
00:37:41So he's got to have control over his emotions.
00:37:43He's got to be self-disciplined.
00:37:45He's got to be strict with himself.
00:37:52So a woman absolutely completely and totally wants a man with self-discipline and strictness.
00:37:58Now, if she's fat, alongside all of the trauma which I've talked about,
00:38:05and I understand all of that, but men have their trauma too,
00:38:07and women still expect us to be disciplined and strict with ourselves
00:38:11and in control of our emotions.
00:38:13So a woman who's fat is saying,
00:38:16I have no control over my emotions.
00:38:19Now, if a woman has no control over her emotions,
00:38:22then she might cheat on you because she just finds some other man attractive
00:38:25and she says, hey man, it just happened.
00:38:27I have no control.
00:38:28Hey man, the cheesecake was there.
00:38:29I just ate it.
00:38:30It was so good.
00:38:31What am I supposed to do?
00:38:32Hey, that guy wanted to have sex with me and I just did, right?
00:38:34So a woman without self-discipline,
00:38:37you can't even predict sexual fidelity.
00:38:45And you, of course, can be skinny fat, right?
00:38:47Which is where you're not overweight and maybe you just have high metabolism
00:38:51or whatever it is.
00:38:52You're not overweight, but you have no physical strength, right?
00:38:56Well, that means that for women in particular,
00:39:00to be unfit is dangerous because it's a marker of a lack of physical strength
00:39:06and independence.
00:39:07It's also the marker that you don't have a man around
00:39:10who's encouraging you to exercise.
00:39:12So the skinny fat girls, honestly, I've only dated athletic girls.
00:39:16I've really only dated athletic girls.
00:39:20I just won't date.
00:39:21I won't date women who don't move.
00:39:23I just won't because it just indicates to me a lack of emotional self-discipline
00:39:29that is just extremely unattractive.
00:39:32A woman who's overweight is like a man who's totally broke.
00:39:37And he can say, well, I'm broke because of my trauma.
00:39:39It's like, okay, but you're still broke.
00:39:42And the fact that you may even have a decent reason for being broke,
00:39:46but your decent reason isn't going to support the family.
00:39:49Your decent reason isn't going to feed the kids.
00:39:52So at some point, it's like I sympathize.
00:39:57I sympathize, but I have a business to run called a family,
00:40:02and if you can't contribute, in fact, if you're going to be a drain,
00:40:06I sympathize with the reasons, right?
00:40:11But I'm not hiring you, right?
00:40:15Occasionally, when I was interviewed like 1,000 people
00:40:18and hired like 100 people over the course of my life,
00:40:21and occasionally somebody would come in and just be really punchy.
00:40:25And it's like, hey, man, I sympathize.
00:40:27You know, I'm sure you had a tough childhood.
00:40:29I'm not going to hire you, right?
00:40:32I can have all the sympathy in the world,
00:40:33but it doesn't mean that I'm going to subject my employees or myself
00:40:36to an overly aggressive employee, right?
00:40:43So, yeah, what are we men looking for?
00:40:45We're looking for self-discipline, right?
00:40:47We're looking for a woman who understands cause and effect.
00:40:50Men are visual creatures.
00:40:52We like the way a woman looks.
00:40:55We care about the way a woman looks,
00:40:57and we've got very specific reasons for doing that.
00:41:00Women care less about what men look like, or at least they used to.
00:41:03Women care a lot less about what men look like
00:41:05because a man's value is his economic or material productivity,
00:41:10not his pretty boy Arlo style from a novel The Present Features.
00:41:15But for a woman, we have to measure fertility,
00:41:18and therefore we have to look for clear eyes, good skin, thick hair,
00:41:25a good hip-to-waist ratio.
00:41:26All of these are indicators of fertility
00:41:28because we're all rolling the dice when we get married young as we used to
00:41:31and how all this stuff evolved.
00:41:33The woman is rolling the dice as to how productive the man is going to be,
00:41:36and that's not based on how good-looking he is, right?
00:41:38The hunter, the gatherer, whatever he's out there doing, the farmer,
00:41:41it doesn't matter how good-looking he is.
00:41:43It doesn't matter how K-pop pretty he is or how high his cheekbones are.
00:41:47Or whether he's got nice hair or not.
00:41:50It only matters how well he can throw the spear and bring home the meat.
00:41:54Show me the money, right?
00:41:56So the woman has to take a gamble on how productive and nonviolent he's going to be.
00:42:02And again, she wants him to be aggressive outside the home
00:42:04and she wants him to be peaceful and loving inside the home,
00:42:07and so you need some self-discipline for that.
00:42:09You can't be just peaceful because then you're nice in the home,
00:42:12but you actually wrote a play about this many years ago called Teeth.
00:42:16So you have to be productive outside the home, which means aggression.
00:42:19You have to be loving inside the home, which means non-aggression.
00:42:22And if it's just a non-aggressive, like the simps, the betas and all of that,
00:42:26the guys who are just nice, nice, nice, the women,
00:42:28okay, well, he might be a decent father to my kids,
00:42:30but he's not going to be able to provide for the family, so he's not attractive.
00:42:33Whereas the guys who are just aggressive, aggressive, aggressive, right?
00:42:37It's like, well, he'll be a good provider,
00:42:39but he's not going to be a good father and husband, right?
00:42:43So you need that balance, right?
00:42:45Oh, women are always like, oh, they want us to be a chef in the kitchen
00:42:49and a whore in bed and the Madonna whore, and there's so many contradictions.
00:42:52It's like, oh, yes, well, we men never face any contradictions whatsoever.
00:42:56We men are never like, well, we want you to be super successful
00:42:59and aggressive outside the home and win every battle you come into
00:43:02with every other alpha male, but be sweet, cuddly, and gentle in the home
00:43:05and never have any aggression or assertiveness at all.
00:43:08It's like, yeah, okay, so everybody's got their contradictions and complexities,
00:43:11and that's totally fine.
00:43:12It's what makes life interesting.
00:43:16But a man has to gamble on whether the woman's actually fertile
00:43:20and whether she'll cuck him with another man's children.
00:43:23So a man wants a woman who's very attractive,
00:43:26obviously physically very attractive because that signals fertility,
00:43:29and he wants a woman who has self-discipline,
00:43:31which is why no sex before marriage was more of a thing for women than for men.
00:43:35So he wants a woman who's got self-discipline so that she won't cuck him,
00:43:39she won't leave him, she won't be lazy with the kids,
00:43:42she won't be fat later on, right?
00:43:44Because gaining weight when you're in a marriage is terrible.
00:43:50Getting unhealthy, getting lazy, getting tubby, getting fat,
00:43:53getting skinny fat, getting unattractive is terrible.
00:43:56You then are a government because you've got a monopoly,
00:43:58and you think that having a monopoly means you have to work less.
00:44:02No, having a monopoly means you have to work more
00:44:05because you have a monopoly, right?
00:44:07If I was just some single guy, would it matter if I worked out?
00:44:10I mean, not that much, but I'm married,
00:44:12and my wife has to find me attractive
00:44:14because we have a monopoly on each other's physical attractiveness,
00:44:17and so you have to work harder.
00:44:21So, it's not at all superficial in vain.
00:44:25I guess my question would be,
00:44:27why are you starting to label superficial in vain?
00:44:31And, of course, we all know.
00:44:33We all know, right?
00:44:35People who are below good standards,
00:44:38I mean, they only have two choices, right?
00:44:42You know that, right?
00:44:43I mean, this is too obvious to say,
00:44:45but I'll mention it briefly.
00:44:50A woman who's unattractive has two choices.
00:44:59She can become attractive, lose weight, exercise,
00:45:04take care of her skin, her hair, her teeth, right?
00:45:09A woman who's unattractive can work to become attractive,
00:45:12or she can shame and bully men for finding her unattractive.
00:45:17Oh, it's just superficial in vain.
00:45:20Yeah, right.
00:45:23Yeah, right.
00:45:24These are all the women who want,
00:45:26I'm looking for a man in finance,
00:45:28six-four, blue eyes, trust fund, finance,
00:45:31of which there are six in America, I think.
00:45:35So, of course, right?
00:45:40Of course, right?
00:45:45I mean, if you fall below reasonable standards,
00:45:49you have two choices.
00:45:50You can either raise yourself to the standards
00:45:52or lower the standards to yourself.
00:45:58And, you know, modern society is just an endless series
00:46:01of bullying, aggressive, weird, freaky, bizarre,
00:46:05unsettling and pathological attacks on standards
00:46:09because people don't want to raise themselves
00:46:11to a reasonable standard,
00:46:12so they have to lower the standards to total bullshit.
00:46:26All right.
00:46:27Good questions.
00:46:28Thank you.
00:46:30What are your standards for professionalism from employees?
00:46:34Okay, I need to know why you're asking these questions
00:46:36because that varies on so many levels.
00:46:40I can't answer that.
00:46:42I remember you said voluntary isolation is protecting others
00:46:44from your own venom until you can heal.
00:46:46That made a lot of sense.
00:46:48Well, yes, but the problem is it's really tough to heal on your own, right?
00:46:56Regarding that comment on living alone,
00:46:58what is your opinion on living in a shared house to avoid living alone?
00:47:01I used to idealize that kind of thing but found it very hit or miss experience.
00:47:04A lot of times it's cheapskates just trying to save money,
00:47:06but some of us chose it as a lifestyle choice.
00:47:09I now live alone.
00:47:12And that comment above reminds me of those shared house days.
00:47:14I mean, I lived in shared environments.
00:47:18In fact, I'm actually going to dinner next week with my friend
00:47:24I went to college with like over 30 years ago.
00:47:27We actually lived in the same room.
00:47:29We lived in the same room.
00:47:31And then that was one year.
00:47:33And then the next year we shared an apartment,
00:47:35but we could only afford a one-bedroom apartment.
00:47:38So one semester I took the bedroom and the other semester he took the bedroom.
00:47:42And I slept in the living room with curtains hung around my bed,
00:47:48as did he.
00:47:49We've got these old ratty blankets that we just hang on a string
00:47:51like we were doing laundry.
00:47:53Then that was my privacy.
00:47:58There's nothing wrong with living with people, obviously,
00:48:00but you don't want to do it too long.
00:48:06Or rather, you want to translate roommates into a wife or husband.
00:48:12I don't know. There's no moral issue with it.
00:48:14It's not a question of morality.
00:48:16You can certainly save money by not living alone,
00:48:18and there are benefits and costs to that.
00:48:21But you don't want to keep that up as a lifestyle.
00:48:23Like, where's your wife and kids?
00:48:25Or where's your husband and kids, right?
00:48:29How are you saying you can't control F the book in your head, Steph?
00:48:33Were you ever pro-spanking?
00:48:34When did you first doubt it?
00:48:35What led you to doubt it?
00:48:36No, I was never pro-spanking.
00:48:38I mean, understand, I got into philosophy when I was 15 years old.
00:48:4342 years ago I got into philosophy.
00:48:47And this is why people who come and challenge me, it's just funny.
00:48:51Like, honestly, it's just funny.
00:48:54It's just funny.
00:48:57Who's done more philosophy than me?
00:48:59Like, over the course of their life, who's done more philosophy than me?
00:49:03From the age of 15, and I've written 10 or 12 books,
00:49:08done thousands of shows, lived philosophy, studied it in university.
00:49:14My entire graduate degree was focused on the history of philosophy.
00:49:17I took philosophical classes in university.
00:49:20I talked about it all the time in the business world.
00:49:22I've done tours and speeches.
00:49:24Like, honestly, so people who would just come in and say,
00:49:26Steph, you're wrong.
00:49:27Okay, yeah, absolutely.
00:49:30Yeah, I've done this for 42 years under the most rigorous and intense
00:49:35public scrutiny known to man.
00:49:37And my positions have held up.
00:49:40But yeah, absolutely, just come in because you're triggered
00:49:43and tell me I'm wrong.
00:49:44I honestly find it, it's funny.
00:49:46It is literally funny how little respect there is for expertise.
00:49:49So, post-banking?
00:49:50No, I mean, I got into philosophy when I was 15,
00:49:54and I accepted the non-aggression principle right away.
00:49:58So.
00:50:03Yeah, your truth, Oprah.
00:50:05Yeah.
00:50:07Yeah, I mean, this your truth stuff is just fuel for narcissism, right?
00:50:14Narcissism is, my preferences are the good.
00:50:18What I like is the good.
00:50:19What I dislike or makes me upset is the bad.
00:50:21That's narcissism for me.
00:50:23I'm not using this in any technical way, just the amateur colloquial use, right?
00:50:28Narcissism, and so when you say your truth, you're just fueling narcissists.
00:50:34It's just a way that the virus spreads, right?
00:50:39Hello, Stefano.
00:50:41Thank you for the tip.
00:50:42Ever heard or read anything about the carnivore diet
00:50:44and its effect on mental health?
00:50:45I've never seen a crazy lion.
00:50:46Never.
00:50:49I've seen a lot of lion crazies, though.
00:50:50But, yeah, I don't read much up on diet.
00:50:53Honestly, I've given up.
00:50:55I've just given up.
00:50:56I've given up on diets.
00:50:57I've tried a variety of diets.
00:50:59I mean, my health is good.
00:51:01My blood work is good, and my teeth are good,
00:51:04and I play occasionally this little tower defense game called
00:51:12Defense Zone 3 or whatever it is.
00:51:14HD, man.
00:51:15Graphics matter.
00:51:16And I was on a bike machine at, I think, second from the top level,
00:51:21and I got so absorbed in the game that I think I went 50 minutes,
00:51:26and I barely felt it, honestly.
00:51:28I'm very healthy.
00:51:30I have good energy.
00:51:31I sleep pretty well, and I don't have any problems focusing,
00:51:35and my blood work is good, and I've achieved all of that.
00:51:38None of this is any advice for anyone else.
00:51:40Obviously, I don't know what the hell you should eat,
00:51:42but I've just kind of given up.
00:51:43I just generally, I mean, I'm off sugar because I think that was contributing
00:51:46to some mid-afternoon sleepiness, and I just wanted to see,
00:51:52and it turns out I don't really miss it that much.
00:51:54But I don't do this diet.
00:51:57I mean, I've tried a variety of diets over the years.
00:51:59They've never promised.
00:52:01They've never delivered what they promised for me.
00:52:03Again, it's just me.
00:52:05So I just eat a variety of things.
00:52:07I kind of eat what I feel like, and I eat when I'm hungry,
00:52:09and so on.
00:52:11I try to make sure, like sometimes I'll wake up hungry at night,
00:52:14and then I can't get back to sleep, and that's partly because I'm fairly muscular,
00:52:19and so because I'm fairly muscular, muscles need food much more than fat does,
00:52:24which is why having muscles tends to burn fat even while you're sleeping.
00:52:27So occasionally I'll wake up hungry, and then I have to remind myself,
00:52:29well, don't just eat before bed because you don't want to wake up hungry
00:52:31and all of that.
00:52:33I think everyone's looking for the effects of food
00:52:38when what they need is the effects of virtue.
00:52:41Like, why am I tense, unhappy, this, that, the other?
00:52:44Have you tried virtue?
00:52:46Have you tried honesty?
00:52:47Have you tried directness?
00:52:48Have you tried integrity?
00:52:49Have you tried moral courage?
00:52:52Have you tried being direct and honest with people in your life?
00:52:56Have you tried opposing the corrupt and promoting the virtuous?
00:53:00I mean, try that.
00:53:02Maybe a steady diet of cinnamon and eggs is your answer,
00:53:04but I would say first, why not give virtue a try?
00:53:09Just a possibility.
00:53:11Just a possibility.
00:53:13Steph, have you ever known someone who got with a woman,
00:53:15encouraged her to go to the gym and lose the weight,
00:53:17and then she left the guy?
00:53:23No, I don't.
00:53:25I've not known that.
00:53:27What is it?
00:53:28I did see a meme today.
00:53:29It was terrifying.
00:53:31A woman was asking this guy,
00:53:32why are you so afraid of marriage?
00:53:33And he said,
00:53:35well, my last girlfriend, she bought me some cologne,
00:53:38which I really appreciated,
00:53:39because she never really buys me anything.
00:53:42And I wear the cologne, use the cologne,
00:53:44and then I happened to see a text message she sent
00:53:46to the guy she's sleeping with on the side,
00:53:48which I didn't know about,
00:53:49saying, I bought him your cologne so I could smell you
00:53:52around the house with him.
00:53:55Yeah, so there's some genuine evil out there, right?
00:54:00Punchy regarding what?
00:54:01Can you give examples about the potential employee?
00:54:05Yeah, I mean, I had an employee once,
00:54:07I was hired into a position,
00:54:08had about 35 employees,
00:54:09and the head programmer was in a meeting
00:54:13with the other team leads of QA,
00:54:18QA product design and programming
00:54:21and all of that and documentation,
00:54:24and he was snarling at me
00:54:25that I was really pissing him off.
00:54:27And I was like, well, that's way too punchy.
00:54:29I don't talk like that to people in business.
00:54:31I certainly don't expect to be.
00:54:32So I said, you need to apologize.
00:54:34He wouldn't apologize.
00:54:35He escalated.
00:54:36So he did not last long, obviously, right?
00:54:41I mean, I didn't get out of a family abusive household
00:54:44as a kid where I had no choice
00:54:45to recreate that in the business environment.
00:54:47My gosh.
00:54:48No, thank you.
00:54:54All right.
00:54:57Sometimes talking diet with people
00:54:59feels like talking politics or religion.
00:55:03I interpret my truth as my opinion,
00:55:04and I'm doubtful it's actually their opinion anyway.
00:55:07No, because why would you interpret something
00:55:09that's the opposite of what people say?
00:55:12Truth is a term of objectivity.
00:55:14Opinion is a term of subjectivity.
00:55:17So when somebody says my objective,
00:55:19why would you say what they're actually being
00:55:21is my subjective?
00:55:23Like, that's odd.
00:55:24Like, why would you bother?
00:55:25Why would you be around people you have to interpret?
00:55:27That's a lot of work, man.
00:55:29I just say what you mean and mean what you say.
00:55:31I mean, if people are like,
00:55:33well, I say my truth, but I actually mean my opinion,
00:55:37but it's still true.
00:55:38It's like, nope, I don't care.
00:55:39I don't care to navigate these bullshit mazes.
00:55:41I just don't.
00:55:42Like, sorry, life is short,
00:55:47and I don't care to muck around
00:55:49with people's bullshit defenses.
00:55:51All right.
00:55:52Pauline says, this hits very close to my situation.
00:55:54I'm almost 30 and struggle with anorexia
00:55:56slash overtraining for almost half of my living life.
00:55:58I'm at a point where I deny every side of my feminine side,
00:56:01male hobbies, male-oriented work environment,
00:56:03lost my periods due to undereating.
00:56:05Oh my gosh, you did lose or you have lost?
00:56:07Do you have a truth about femininity just for women?
00:56:10How can I peacefully accept my gender
00:56:11and the roles that come with it?
00:56:13How can I accept to get in a relationship with a man
00:56:15when I try to act like a man myself?
00:56:17Merci.
00:56:19Bienvenue.
00:56:20So that's a call and show.
00:56:23Yeah, I think that's a call and show.
00:56:25And again, if you want to keep it private, I understand.
00:56:27You can just check the private call
00:56:29and we'll do it offline, in a sense, right?
00:56:37I mean, why would you deny your feminine side?
00:56:40Because your feminine side was used against you as a child.
00:56:45Maybe you were sexually abused.
00:56:46Maybe there was creepy stuff.
00:56:47Maybe you were humiliated for being female.
00:56:50So your sexual side was hijacked by abusers.
00:56:53Your feminine side was hijacked by abusers
00:56:57and used against you.
00:56:59And therefore, to be feminine is to be in danger
00:57:02and therefore you do the opposite to stay safe.
00:57:10I'm interested in your standards about professionalism
00:57:12in employees because I've seen them do things
00:57:15I would consider unprofessional.
00:57:20My employees?
00:57:21No, not my employees.
00:57:23I mean, I don't even like to think of the people
00:57:25I work with as employees.
00:57:26We just work together.
00:57:27I've seen them do things I would consider unprofessional.
00:57:30For example, using an official means of communication
00:57:32with customers as if it is a dating app.
00:57:35I don't know what that means.
00:57:37But if it's my employees, please let me know.
00:57:41Please, please, everybody.
00:57:43This is an empathy thing.
00:57:45Read your emails as if I don't know what you're talking about
00:57:47because I don't.
00:57:49This is kind of unprofessional, right?
00:57:51Because you're in a professional context here.
00:57:53Like I'm working for a living, you're at a show.
00:57:55And so it's funny that you're concerned about
00:57:57other people's unprofessionalism.
00:57:59And here, you're actually being completely unprofessional
00:58:02in your communication because I don't know
00:58:04which employees you're referring to.
00:58:05It sounds like you're referring to my employees,
00:58:07which I don't think you are.
00:58:08So I can't tell.
00:58:12So maybe the unprofessionalism is coming from inside the house.
00:58:16I avoid processed foods and sugar,
00:58:18which is typically processed food items.
00:58:20I also use xylitol gum to prevent cavities.
00:58:25You see food, and if it's fish, you eat it.
00:58:27I get it.
00:58:28I get it.
00:58:29I get it.
00:58:36Thank you for the tip.
00:58:37Thank you so much for Peaceful Parenting.
00:58:39I'm a big fan of the Thomas Gordon reading.
00:58:43Thanks to you.
00:58:44And your book felt like taking those concepts
00:58:48and taking them to the next level.
00:58:51One of Gordon's strongest points was how
00:58:53anger is the result of another negative emotion
00:58:55that we feel towards others.
00:58:58Your reference to that today with a vivid analogy
00:59:00was a prime example of what you bring to the table.
00:59:02Thank you so much for your timeless work
00:59:04to make the world a better place.
00:59:05Thank you. I appreciate that.
00:59:06I don't know, Thomas Gordon.
00:59:13I understand.
00:59:14I've also tried a variety of diets.
00:59:16Only carnivore delivered results above what I wanted.
00:59:18Although I agree that virtue should be the main focus.
00:59:20Doing work with internal family relationships
00:59:22and Nathaniel Brandon
00:59:24also have helped lessen my hunger
00:59:26and achieve better health.
00:59:36Is he saying one of your employees said on here
00:59:38that he is single?
00:59:39What's wrong with that?
00:59:40Well, I don't know what he's referring to, honestly.
00:59:42So he's talking about unprofessionalism
00:59:43and being completely unprofessional
00:59:45in his communications.
00:59:47Hello, Steph.
00:59:48I laughed aloud thinking of a Pfizer-like ad
00:59:50with the narrator saying,
00:59:51Are you miserable and sick?
00:59:53Are you bereft of joy?
00:59:54Have you tried virtue?
00:59:56Pleasing virtue may put you in a collision course
00:59:58with all the corrupt and immoral people in your life.
01:00:00It may get you fired.
01:00:01It may get you platformed.
01:00:02It may get you evil Wikipedia articles.
01:00:04But nonetheless, it's worth it.
01:00:06Oh, yes.
01:00:07That's a very funny...
01:00:09I'm going to make a note of that.
01:00:11That would be a funny video to generate.
01:00:17Is your conscience bloated?
01:00:19Are you unwell?
01:00:21Are you unable to excrete your immorality?
01:00:23Are you bunged up with hypocrisy?
01:00:26Is your blood pressure high
01:00:28because you keep squeezing your heart
01:00:30through corruption?
01:00:31Have you tried virtue?
01:00:35Maybe.
01:00:36Yeah, that would be a funny thing to...
01:00:37That would be a fun thing to work on.
01:00:38I don't know if it would go anywhere,
01:00:39but that would be a pretty funny thing to work on.
01:00:41I will, of course, take all the credit.
01:00:43No, I'm kidding.
01:00:44Thank you, Vince.
01:00:45That's very funny.
01:00:46I appreciate it.
01:00:47I appreciate it.
01:00:48Any more donations at freedomain.com slash donate?
01:00:51Not yet.
01:00:53Not yet, but I'm sure they will come.
01:00:56All right, so I had a question here.
01:00:58Somebody left a question.
01:01:01From one to ten...
01:01:02Give me this if you don't mind.
01:01:03From one to ten,
01:01:05how tough is it for you
01:01:07to ask for help when you need it?
01:01:09How tough is it for you
01:01:10to ask for help when you need it?
01:01:13You're struggling with something.
01:01:14You can't figure...
01:01:15I mean, you know, right?
01:01:16I'm just going to vamp
01:01:17until I get the answers.
01:01:18But how tough is it for you
01:01:19to ask for help
01:01:21when you need it?
01:01:27For me, I don't find it too bad.
01:01:30I do have a sort of...
01:01:31a bit of a perverse pride
01:01:33of working through things on my own,
01:01:34particularly technical things,
01:01:36and also because I have so much experience
01:01:37with technical things.
01:01:38I've been working with computers
01:01:39since I was like 11 years old.
01:01:41I have so much experience
01:01:42with technical things
01:01:44that I just...
01:01:46I just don't find it helpful
01:01:47to ask people.
01:01:49I just don't.
01:01:50I just don't find it helpful
01:01:51to ask people because
01:01:52they just don't have...
01:01:53Like, you know,
01:01:54when you call out for help,
01:01:56like I needed help
01:01:57with my cell phone,
01:01:59and they're like,
01:02:00honestly, like all the stuff,
01:02:01have you tried restarting it?
01:02:02Are you sure you're on this?
01:02:03Are you sure you've done that?
01:02:04Do you have any background
01:02:05apps?
01:02:06Like, I already know that.
01:02:07Like, I already know that stuff.
01:02:09I just need you to reset
01:02:10something at your end.
01:02:11But they've got to go through
01:02:12all these checklists.
01:02:13Well, first of all,
01:02:14you have to wait half an hour
01:02:15to 45 minutes to talk to anyone,
01:02:16and then often they have
01:02:17a kind of thick accent,
01:02:18which is kind of tough to pierce,
01:02:20and also then they have
01:02:21a checklist that they have
01:02:22to go through,
01:02:23I assume,
01:02:24that wastes another 20 minutes,
01:02:25and then finally they do
01:02:26what you want.
01:02:27So, it's really tough.
01:02:31So, yeah,
01:02:32how tough do you find it
01:02:33to ask for help?
01:02:40Dr. Thomas Gordon wrote,
01:02:41Parent Effectiveness Training
01:02:42and Teacher Effectiveness Training.
01:02:44Thank you.
01:02:45I appreciate that.
01:02:46And, of course,
01:02:47I interviewed somebody
01:02:48who did PET,
01:02:49so I appreciate that reminder.
01:02:50I had forgotten the name.
01:02:52What do you think about people
01:02:53who tell white lies
01:02:54for the sake of vanity
01:02:55but tell the truth
01:02:56when it comes to serious matters?
01:02:57Do white lies indicate
01:02:58a person is overall untrustworthy?
01:03:02I mean,
01:03:03you call them white lies,
01:03:04I think it's important
01:03:05to be somewhat diplomatic.
01:03:07Right?
01:03:08You know,
01:03:09there's this old Seinfeld routine,
01:03:10I think it's the one he did
01:03:11when he was first on
01:03:12Johnny Carson about the guy
01:03:13who's 800 pounds
01:03:14and lost 50 pounds.
01:03:15Yeah, you look much better.
01:03:16I mean,
01:03:17that's encouraging,
01:03:18is it, you know.
01:03:19All right.
01:03:20So, I think diplomacy
01:03:22can be important.
01:03:26So, how tough do you find it
01:03:30one to ten,
01:03:31four, eight,
01:03:33nine, five, three,
01:03:35seven to ten,
01:03:36one, five, seven.
01:03:39Okay.
01:03:41Please ask your philosopher
01:03:42if virtue is right for you.
01:03:44Well, you don't have to ask
01:03:45your philosopher.
01:03:46Trust me,
01:03:47virtue is right for you.
01:03:48I would do absolutely everything
01:03:49before having to call
01:03:50a customer service.
01:03:51Yeah, yeah,
01:03:52I remember buying an app
01:03:53and it's like,
01:03:54comes with free technical support
01:03:55and I'm like, yep.
01:03:57Never, never gonna use it.
01:03:59Never gonna use it.
01:04:00All right.
01:04:04I feel like I'm bothering people
01:04:05and that bothers me, lol,
01:04:06so I'd rather not ask for help.
01:04:08Right.
01:04:19All right.
01:04:28I appreciate that.
01:04:29Let me see here.
01:04:40Okay, so you are talking about
01:04:42my employees.
01:04:43Okay, I will look into that
01:04:44and I really appreciate you
01:04:45bringing that to my attention.
01:04:46All right.
01:04:49Let's see here.
01:04:53With regards to
01:04:56asking for help.
01:04:57So somebody was posting and said,
01:05:03why is it that people
01:05:04have a tough time asking for help?
01:05:06Now, there's a lot of people
01:05:07who are like, well,
01:05:08I don't want to impose
01:05:09and this and that and the other.
01:05:11But in my experience,
01:05:13which of course is far from perfect,
01:05:15right?
01:05:16Thank you for the tip.
01:05:18So,
01:05:21if,
01:05:25if you don't deposit money
01:05:27into your bank account,
01:05:28you can't withdraw money
01:05:29from your bank account, right?
01:05:30So, if you say,
01:05:31well, why is someone not a spender?
01:05:33Like, why does someone not spend?
01:05:34Now, that's one question
01:05:35if the person is like
01:05:36a multi-millionaire
01:05:37and, you know, they're,
01:05:38I don't know,
01:05:39Howard Hughes shuffling around
01:05:40with Kleenex boxes on their feet.
01:05:43Then the question is,
01:05:45why is that person not a spender?
01:05:47Because they have money,
01:05:48but they don't spend it, right?
01:05:50However, of course,
01:05:51if someone doesn't have any money,
01:05:53then we know the answer
01:05:54as to why they're not a spender,
01:05:55which is they don't have any money, right?
01:05:57If you have no money,
01:06:00you can't spend.
01:06:02So,
01:06:04saying why doesn't someone do something
01:06:07is important
01:06:09to look at deposits and withdrawals,
01:06:13right?
01:06:14So,
01:06:15a lot of times people
01:06:16don't like asking for help
01:06:18because they haven't done much
01:06:20to help others, right?
01:06:22Do you see what I mean?
01:06:25Right?
01:06:27So, if you've been,
01:06:30you know,
01:06:31like a mean, selfish parent
01:06:32and you put your kids in daycare
01:06:33and you didn't invest in them
01:06:34and you didn't care
01:06:35and you didn't get involved
01:06:36and you didn't this
01:06:37and you didn't that
01:06:38and you didn't the other, right?
01:06:41Then,
01:06:44you're going to have trouble asking for help
01:06:46because nobody owes you anything.
01:06:48Does that make sense?
01:06:49Like,
01:06:51you,
01:06:57you haven't deposited enough
01:06:59and therefore you can't get withdrawals, right?
01:07:01So,
01:07:02you were selfish,
01:07:03I mean, you didn't invest in your kids,
01:07:04you didn't care about them
01:07:05and then you get old,
01:07:06you say,
01:07:07well,
01:07:08you know,
01:07:09I'm hesitant to ask for help
01:07:10and it's like,
01:07:11well, sure you are
01:07:12because you didn't help your kids that much.
01:07:15Right?
01:07:16So,
01:07:17a lot of times,
01:07:18oh,
01:07:19you know,
01:07:20men have such a hard time asking for help
01:07:21or women have such a hard time asking for help
01:07:23and we get all this sympathy
01:07:24and,
01:07:25oh,
01:07:26they don't want to impose
01:07:27and it's like,
01:07:28well,
01:07:29maybe they're just,
01:07:30they got a zero balance.
01:07:31Right?
01:07:32Maybe,
01:07:33maybe they're hesitant to ask for help
01:07:34because they have no right
01:07:35to ask for help.
01:07:36Right?
01:07:37They have no right.
01:07:38Right.
01:07:51Right.
01:08:08So,
01:08:09yeah,
01:08:10just to clean that up,
01:08:11I did ask Jared about this
01:08:14and,
01:08:16so,
01:08:17months ago,
01:08:18Jared did message
01:08:19a woman, he found out that she was young, he didn't know her age, and so he just didn't
01:08:24message her and moved on. James has never done that, and I assume Jared hasn't done
01:08:29that since. So yeah, once he did, right? So, I don't consider that particularly massive.
01:08:39And the other thing too, I mean, it's an interesting question, right? So let's just say Jared.
01:08:44So Jared works with me, and does that mean that he is forbidden from contacting a woman
01:08:53in the community, right? I don't know that that's the case. I don't think that that would
01:08:58be true. Is it somehow terrible for him? Now, it would be terrible for him, you know, I
01:09:05can give you special access to Steph in return for a day, and well, that would be unethical,
01:09:08but there was nothing like that. So he was part of the community, has been for many years,
01:09:12he talks to people in the community, he's interested in dating. So because he works
01:09:17with me on a part-time basis, does that mean that he can't contact any women in the community?
01:09:27I don't think that that's the case. I think that would be an unfair standard, so I wouldn't
01:09:30consider that unprofessional. So, I mean, it's a fine question to ask. It's a fine question
01:09:39to ask. No problem with you asking it, and it's perfectly right to ask. Thank you for
01:09:42bringing it up. But yeah, I don't think that, you know, it's interesting, because Jared
01:09:47was in the community for a long time, and so a couple of months ago he messaged a woman,
01:09:52he found out she was very young, and he said, sorry, obviously that's not going to work,
01:09:57and so he moved on. I don't consider that to be a particular problem. So yeah, honestly,
01:10:03I don't see that as a particular problem. You know, to me, unprofessionalism would be
01:10:09something like, I don't know, an employee has access to, I don't know, let's say there's
01:10:16some tech worker, this has nothing to do with us, there's some tech worker, he has access
01:10:20to a woman's emails, and he uses information from that to woo her to date her, to something
01:10:27like that would be unprofessional. But I don't think it would be fair to say, because you
01:10:32work with staff, you can't contact anyone in the community if you're interested in a
01:10:37date. I don't personally feel that that's, and you know, it happened once, and he didn't,
01:10:43right? This is a pro-natalist and pro-family community, I don't see the problem. Yeah.
01:10:47Now that's interesting, though, and I don't feel that this is a gray area. And again,
01:10:53you know, I'm certainly happy to hear arguments to the contrary, I don't feel that this is
01:10:56a gray area, because if Jared had said to me, and you know, he doesn't have to run every
01:11:14communication past me, right? So Jared says, I've been curious about this, am I more part
01:11:22of the community or more employee? You're on the payroll, so by definition you're an employee.
01:11:26Well sure, of course, but he didn't say he wasn't an employee. Now this is interesting,
01:11:34right? This is interesting. So he didn't say he wasn't an employee, and again,
01:11:38it's a very interesting question, I appreciate that coming up, but as somebody who works with
01:11:46me, can he not communicate with other people in the community outside of a purely, I don't know,
01:11:59like working fashion? I don't think so. I don't think so. So I don't have, obviously, any kind
01:12:08of perfect analogy, but if a guy works for Tinder, can he use Tinder to meet women? Assuming that
01:12:18he doesn't have, he's just not using any inside information or like, so let's say he works for
01:12:24Tinder, can he use Tinder to meet women? I think so. I think so. So if he contacts a woman and
01:12:32says, would you be interested in meeting up for coffee or something like that? I don't see the
01:12:39unprofessionalism in that myself. But again, I'm certainly happy to hear the case, but I don't see
01:12:45that as a whole. So, yeah. I mean, if he was exchanging, you know, I can get you on a call
01:13:02like then that would be right, but that's nothing like that. Right. So, but it's interesting to me.
01:13:08Right. So what's interesting to me, yeah. If a guy's a waiter at a restaurant, can he ask a
01:13:15customer on a date? And that's interesting because, well, the argument for that would be that he's
01:13:21using the restaurant's time and money to ask a woman on a date. Whereas Jared was doing this on
01:13:32his own personal time. So it's unprofessional if the woman is half your age. Sorry, why is that
01:13:40unprofessional? That's interesting. So you're putting an age category in there, right? So if
01:13:45Jared is 40 and the woman is 20 and he didn't know that, right? But that's interesting. So are
01:13:53you saying it's unprofessional or it's there's something wrong with a man asking a woman out
01:13:58who's half his age when he didn't know? And of course you do have to understand that when he
01:14:05found out his, her age, he said, okay, well, it's not particularly compatible and he moved on, right?
01:14:10So I guess the question is, let's turn to you though, right? Because I don't think that your
01:14:18criticisms have much validity and it's not coming from a place of good moral curiosity, right?
01:14:24Because you're saying it is unprofessional. So you're making a public accusation
01:14:30and that's a very high standard, right? It's a very high standard to make a public accusation,
01:14:35right? And you can't tell people's ages in particular from a picture, right?
01:14:44So why does this bother you? Why is this to the point where you're making a public accusation?
01:14:50Because they're very high stakes, right? So you better have some good reasons, right?
01:14:57You better have some good reasons as to why you're making this kind of public accusations,
01:15:01right? Because it's not nice. It's not nice what you're doing. And why not message me privately?
01:15:11Why not have a private conversation? It's pretty toxic to do it publicly,
01:15:16especially when I don't think that you're in the right.
01:15:18So, yeah, I'm not a fan of this at all. I think it's actually pretty toxic. Publicly
01:15:32accuse someone of doing something bad in a public forum without talking to them privately or talking
01:15:40to me privately. That's pretty toxic. Yeah, that's really toxic. Yeah. But hey, you know,
01:15:53I'm happy to hear your case, but yeah, I think that you're a pretty nasty specimen, frankly.
01:16:06I mean, so here's the funny thing, right? And you know, I'm not saying that everyone
01:16:09has to have seen every show, but it was, gosh, what was it? Jared and James, you'd remember this,
01:16:22right? So I think it was maybe six months ago or so, maybe eight months ago. Jared and James were
01:16:31actually in the studio with me. We did a whole show where we were chatting back and forth, right?
01:16:36And in the show, I said, towards the end of the show, I said, these fine young men are single.
01:16:46And was it February? Yeah, something like that. So I don't know, four to six months ago. So I said
01:16:55on the show, I said, these young men are single. And if there are any ladies out there who would
01:17:04be interested in chatting with some quality philosophical gentlemen, feel free to message
01:17:08them and so on, right? So I put dating potential to the audience in the show, right? In the show.
01:17:20So I'm not sure that it would then be, oh my gosh,
01:17:24when I actually said, you know, dating potential in the show is fine,
01:17:29then how is it then negative for dating potential to be in the show?
01:17:39Oh, that's so funny. And
01:17:47yeah, if there's a difference of a power, if you're a police officer, I get that. If you're
01:17:52right, if you're the boss, it's tricky and all of that kind of stuff, but there's nothing,
01:17:55right? So yeah, dating, Jared and James was actually in a show that went out to the general
01:18:07public. And so I'm trying to sort of figure out what your fucking issue is. Like, what the hell?
01:18:14What is your issue? Right.
01:18:20And I can, yeah, so I don't have any issue with it,
01:18:28especially when it's been a publicly part of the show.
01:18:44So where is this fellow? Is he still around?
01:18:54I asked the question in general, as I wanted to avoid making specific accusations.
01:19:00No, because I recognize that you were talking about, or you could be talking about people I
01:19:05work with. And so if you want to avoid making specific accusations, then why didn't you message
01:19:10me privately? Why didn't you message me privately? Because you see, you're so concerned about
01:19:20propriety and politeness and professionalism and sensitivity and empathy. So why are you
01:19:25making public accusations that are false? You didn't have to type in, you could have said,
01:19:31I'll take it to private. You don't have to type it right in here. You made that choice,
01:19:37my friend, you made that choice.
01:19:42I mean, there is, in fact, somebody built an entire dating app for people to chat with each
01:19:46other. Yeah. Okay. So what's your answer? Why did you bring this up publicly when you're actually
01:19:51wrong? Why didn't you message me privately? Right. So what the hell's going on?
01:20:01I mean, I know what's going on deep down.
01:20:04I know what's going on.
01:20:08Airing out stuff like this in a public stream is the best way to cause a shitstorm.
01:20:12I don't have a line of contact with you privately. Well, that's just a lie.
01:20:20What are you talking about?
01:20:23Well, I mean, you could conceivably use the call-in form. You could ask anyone in the community how to
01:20:29contact me privately. My email is right there on my website. This is just a lie.
01:20:42So you're now kind of doing really shitty stuff here, friend. Like you're really,
01:20:48like now you're just lying. Right. So what's happened is you have been caught out doing
01:20:54something wrong by accusing someone else of doing something wrong. And rather than saying,
01:20:59you know, I apologize. That was out of line. I jumped the gun. You know, that's what a mature
01:21:08person would do. And look, we all make mistakes. I mean, I've called out people publicly and turned
01:21:13out to be in the wrong and I'm like, oof, I'm sorry, that was wrong. And then I got to figure
01:21:16out what I was doing. Right. So when you have done something wrong, which again, there's nothing
01:21:26wrong with this. It's illustrative. It's fine. When you've done something wrong, which we all do,
01:21:31right. So the woman in question, the 20 year old or 21 year old,
01:21:46told this guy that Jared stopped being in touch with her when he found out her age.
01:21:50So this is a pretty nasty thing, right?
01:21:59Public call outs like this are just gamma male shit. He is salty that Jared is higher status.
01:22:04Yeah. So when the call informer has James and Jared running it,
01:22:15how do you know?
01:22:15You don't know that.
01:22:25You don't know that. And that doesn't answer any of the other questions,
01:22:28right? That doesn't answer any of the other questions.
01:22:34You can ask anyone in the community how to contact me. You can go to my website
01:22:38and there is an email right there on the website.
01:22:40So yeah, the call informs come to me. So you're just wrong about everything, right?
01:22:55You're just wrong about everything. And listen,
01:22:59now you feel trapped and cornered and aggressive and you're going to want to fog and lie.
01:23:03Like seriously, you made a mistake. You did a shitty thing, which happens. We all do it from
01:23:07time to time, right? You let your temper get the better of you. Like we were just
01:23:11talking about emotional self-control and all of that, right? So you did a shitty thing and
01:23:16you accused someone of doing something wrong. Yeah. A call in request go directly to me.
01:23:20Nobody else sees them. So you're just wrong about everything, right?
01:23:25So this is an important thing. This is an important moment, right? Because how often do
01:23:30we get to see the sort of real-time moral correction, right? Because a lot of times
01:23:34it's kind of abstract and this and that and the other, right? So number one, you did a shitty
01:23:39thing. Hey, we're human. We all do shitty things from time to time, right? You did a shitty thing
01:23:44and you're wrong. You're in the wrong. You're completely and totally in the wrong.
01:23:48And so what you want to do when you're caught is don't lie, right? Don't make up shit like,
01:23:56well, I didn't have any way of contacting you, blah, blah, blah. And right. Well,
01:23:59I didn't mean to call them out publicly. It's like, but you did, right? So you did, right?
01:24:02So I didn't mean to doesn't like mean anything, right? So this is really instructive to everyone
01:24:08because look, I mean, what this guy, I assume it's a guy because of this behavior. So what
01:24:13this guy has done is bad and wrong, right? Now that doesn't mean he's an evil guy. It doesn't
01:24:19mean he's just terrible all around, but he obviously let some emotional upset, anger or
01:24:26temper get the better of him. And he did a shitty thing. Again, we've all done it.
01:24:32I'm going to do it again over the course of my life, right?
01:24:39So James says he posted on local saying if a woman is interested in dating, they can contact him,
01:24:46which I said that literally on the show. How am I in the wrong? No, I've already given you the
01:24:51explanation. See, now you're going rubber bones, right? Now you're going passive aggressive,
01:24:55right? So I've already told you that you're in the wrong because you're accusing someone
01:24:59of unprofessionalism or whatever that exactly means, because he contacted a woman who was
01:25:05interested in dating after I literally said on the show, anybody who wants to contact blah,
01:25:09blah, blah, blah, blah, right? He didn't abuse his power. He just contacted a woman
01:25:14who he was interested in going for a coffee with. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. He's
01:25:17perfectly free to do that, right? There's nothing wrong with that, right? So
01:25:25I did mean to ask about it publicly. No, because earlier you said you made it opaque so it
01:25:30wouldn't be direct, but then you made it direct, right? So the problem here, and again, this is
01:25:36all very instructive, because this is a master class in what not to do, right? This is a master
01:25:41class in what not to do. And listen, we've all made mistakes, so I'm not in any perfect cloud
01:25:46here of doing everything right. So he took a run at me and at my organization and at Jared
01:25:55and at Jane. So he took a run, right? And he missed. He was wrong. And therefore, he goes
01:26:01from trying to lower somebody else's status to having his own status lowered. That's kind of
01:26:05the price. You call people out publicly, you better be right, because otherwise you go from
01:26:12attempting to dominate, and in a sense humiliate, to then being low status. So what does he say
01:26:21here? I'm angry at finding out how many creeps are in the, quote, community as a whole after
01:26:25talking to someone else in the community. I made it direct so you could ask. No, but you could have
01:26:33done this privately, right? So are there people in the community who are interested in each other
01:26:42romantically? Of course there are. I mean, of course there are, because this is a good filtering mechanism
01:26:48for people to find those who are interested in philosophy, who are interested in self-knowledge,
01:26:56who share values, perfectly natural. I can't even tell you how many marriages and relationships and
01:27:02babies have come out of this community, right? So it absolutely works. Now, creeps is a woman's word,
01:27:08right? Creeps is a woman's word. So one person has complained of creeps, and how do you know
01:27:14that person is telling the truth? How do you know that person is not a trompe? It could be,
01:27:19right? So you know that some women, I'm not accusing anyone of anything, right? I don't
01:27:25know the facts behind this, right? But you do know that some people cause trouble by causing
01:27:32conflicts in others, right? That could be the case, right? Could be the case. And my guess is that,
01:27:38my guess is a couple of things, right? Which I don't know about for sure, but my guess, because
01:27:41the behavior is kind of incomprehensible for any reasonable rational moral standard, right?
01:27:46If you have a problem with me, which this would be a problem with me, then you should contact me.
01:27:52If you have a problem with somebody I work with, you should contact me or them and talk about it,
01:27:56right? And you do that because you need to hear the other side, right? You do that because you
01:28:05want things to be fair in the world, right? So if somebody says, oh, this person is terrible,
01:28:10terrible, terrible, right? And then you go out and call that person out publicly,
01:28:16you only have one side of it, which means, like, you understand that in a trial, a trial,
01:28:22you have the prosecution and you have the defense and you need to hear both sides of the case. Like,
01:28:25we would all admit and understand that that's a rational thing, which is you want to hear both
01:28:29sides of the case, which is why you contact people privately if you're interested in calling them out
01:28:33publicly. You contact them privately and you say, this person said this, what's your side? If you
01:28:37even get involved, which I don't even know why you would, but whatever, right? So you contact people
01:28:43privately so that you hear their side of things, right? Because people can lie, obviously, right?
01:28:51I don't have a problem with you. Well, no, but the buck stops here, right? So if I have people
01:28:57I work with who I hired who are acting badly, the buck stops with me, right? So this is, again,
01:29:04you're just not saying anything that makes any sense, right? Bro, you derailed the stream. Did
01:29:08he though? I don't think he did, because I think this is real-time philosophy in action,
01:29:14right? This is a real-time philosophy in action, right? So
01:29:22somebody who can't admit that they're wrong has no right to accuse others, right? Because when you
01:29:27accuse others, you're saying you did wrong and you should admit it and you should accept
01:29:30responsibility and so on. And so the problem is, or I guess the solution is in a way,
01:29:35the solution is that this guy, obviously he's a guy, right? So this guy doesn't have any
01:29:41credibility because he is accusing other people of faults, but he's unwilling to admit any fault
01:29:50himself. Of course, he should have talked to me or Jared privately if he has a concern about
01:29:57behavior, right? Of course he should, right? Absolutely, completely, and totally. And he
01:30:03didn't do that. Instead, he called something out publicly that isn't even an issue, right?
01:30:14Does that make sense? So he didn't hear the other side. He didn't find out whether it was an issue.
01:30:20He didn't really think it through. He just publicly accused, right? So he's saying,
01:30:25I'm an expert in responsibility and wrongdoing. But then when it turns out that he did something
01:30:30kind of wrong, he doesn't take any responsibility, right? So then he, like, this is a great relief,
01:30:37of course, because if somebody accuses you of something, that you did something wrong
01:30:41and you're not taking responsibility, and then you point out that they're doing something wrong
01:30:45and they just don't take any responsibility, then it's just a draw, right? It's not a moral
01:30:49standard. It's not something you would take seriously because the person is saying, well,
01:30:53you should take responsibility for the bad things you did. And then you point out that they should
01:30:57have got the other side of the story. They should have talked privately. How do I message you
01:31:02privately? Oh my gosh. Oh, you spineless, spineless person. Oh my gosh. I already told you.
01:31:10I already told you, right? I could repeat it if you want. You can use the call-in form.
01:31:17You can go to the website where my email is right there, right? So I've already told you,
01:31:25and now you're pretending that you didn't hear. I don't think this should be private any longer.
01:31:33Yeah, I don't think it is. So this is just how to ninja people's accusations, right? It's a
01:31:39shitty accusation. It's wrong. It's false. He didn't hear the other side of the story. He called
01:31:43things out publicly without talking about things privately. And he just took one person's side of
01:31:51the story. He got inflamed. He got manipulated. He got used by someone who I assume has picked him
01:31:56and is inflaming him to cause problems. And he won't take any responsibility for bad behavior
01:32:02while calling other people out for their bad behavior, right? So it's tragic, right? It's very
01:32:10sad. And this is an example of exactly what not to do, right? Again, I've called out people publicly
01:32:19and I've been wrong, right? Well, you've never done this. And then they say, I've done this.
01:32:22I'm like, hey, you're right. I'm sorry. That was out of line. It happens, right? It happens.
01:32:29Right. So no help from the community, he says. I don't know what that means, but that's very
01:32:33passive-aggressive. So we all make mistakes and we all jump the gun and nobody's perfect,
01:32:38of course, right? So when you're caught, thank you for letting me know that nobody
01:32:43else has access to your email. Oh, so you think that if you had a criticism
01:32:52that they would, what, intercept it and delete? Oh my God.
01:32:58Michelle says, I've been part of this community for years now and run into very few, if any,
01:33:02creeps. I think it's a pretty good community. Obviously not perfect, but it's a pretty good
01:33:07community. At least that's my experience. And I certainly haven't received any complaints,
01:33:12certainly from women saying this blah, blah, blah, right? I'm sorry for making the accusations
01:33:17publicly. Right. So why did you? Why did you make the accusations publicly? It's one thing to say,
01:33:30sorry, but I kind of need to know the why. Because, you know, apologies without knowledge
01:33:35are empty gestures, right? So why did you make the accusation publicly? So I would say,
01:33:41and again, I don't know for sure. They were true though. Okay. So this is somebody,
01:33:49I've made the counter case. Now, is the counter case quite strong? That Jared is free to message
01:33:58a girl. He then found out that she was very young, obviously of age, right? But he found
01:34:02out that she was very young and he did not talk to her after that. And I also said, you can date
01:34:08these men if you want. That was part of the show. Their dating lives have been open. We've
01:34:12had conversations about dating even on the show. So I don't think that's wrong. So
01:34:22the counter arguments are very strong, right? And so he's not listening to any of the counter
01:34:28arguments, which means he's not in a free will situation. Like you got to be aware of this when
01:34:34people aren't in a free will situation, right? So he's still, oh, now he's saying that the woman
01:34:43who says she hasn't really run into any creeps, he's now saying that she's wrong. Creeps are good
01:34:49at picking targets, right? So now he's kind of insulting her, right? Saying that she's wrong
01:34:55and so on, right? Or in a sense, he's now victim blaming because he's saying that
01:35:01creeps only pick on the weak. So now he's victim blaming, right?
01:35:06I made them publicly because I don't trust your employees because I've seen them act in a way I
01:35:11consider unprofessional. Oh, now it's I consider. Now it's I consider. Yeah, are you calling Jared
01:35:20a creep? Just let's be honest, right? Because you're talking about all those creeps, right?
01:35:23Are you calling Jared a creep? Now it's I consider unprofessional, right? So when I pointed out that
01:35:29their dating lives are part of the show, and I've invited women to contact them,
01:35:32so if they contact women, that's like, then, no, he's not calling Jared a creep. Okay,
01:35:36so then why are you bringing creep into the conversation if it's not part of what you're
01:35:40talking about? Oh, the plot thickens, how the turntables doth turn. So this is the woman who
01:35:54says, I'm the person, this is the person in question. The stapler elite is incredibly
01:36:02compassionate and knows my bad history with males. I spoke to a dysfunctional male from FDI,
01:36:06FDR for a year and a half. Jared stopped the second he knew my age. Okay.
01:36:15So when stapler elite make the public accusation, why didn't you say anything?
01:36:23Say, so yeah, Jared stopped the second he knew my age, right? So it's nothing wrong.
01:36:27A 40-year-old man can message a 20-year-old woman, or I think Jared was 38 or 39 at the time. I
01:36:31don't know, 39 maybe. That's fine. He found out her age. He didn't want to continue messaging
01:36:38with her. He said very politely that it wasn't going to work. So yeah. So beg to differ on
01:36:48compassionate. This is not compassionate behavior. Right. So your belief is that stapler
01:36:55elite, the guy making these public accusations, is a really, really good guy. Do you agree with
01:37:01him making these public accusations that are false? So do you consider this functional behavior,
01:37:16healthy behavior, and then to lie about things saying, I'd know where to contact you and all
01:37:21this kind of stuff, right? When my email is directly on, right? I am conflicted. Okay.
01:37:26That's fine. Do you think that calling out someone without hearing their side,
01:37:35publicly calling out someone as bad without hearing their side, is that good? Is that right?
01:37:46Rather than having a private conversation.
01:37:56Staplery is a lot younger, right?
01:38:04Right. So, and if you had a conversation with someone, I spoke to a dysfunctional male from
01:38:09FDR for a year and a half. So, and you know, with great sympathies, you may have a susceptibility
01:38:14to people who are dysfunctional. And how do you know that's been entirely solved with this guy?
01:38:18I mean, that's just an interesting question, right? I am a good man, he says.
01:38:26Okay. But that wasn't what I asked, right? Unless I missed something.
01:38:34I think he's white knighting for the girl,
01:38:36she's not going to date you, Stapler.
01:38:49A private conversation is better, but I don't think he knew he could.
01:38:57Well, I don't quite understand that. I don't quite understand that at all.
01:39:03Yeah, I had no idea I could have a private conversation without paying for it.
01:39:07No, that's just another lie. Like, sorry, I'm just straight up lying at this point.
01:39:15Okay. Here's the question, right? Here's the question. And it's just, it's this really simple
01:39:20stuff, right? This is embarrassingly simple stuff. Okay. Staplerily. If somebody had paid you a
01:39:25million dollars to get a message through to me, do you think you would have figured out a way to do it?
01:39:29Right? If somebody had offered you a million dollars to get a message through to me,
01:39:40a million dollars to get a message through to me, right? Would you have been able to do it?
01:39:45Of course. Of course you would have tried, right? You could have tried sending me an email,
01:39:50you could have tried messaging me publicly, you could have tried putting something on the forum,
01:39:54you could have tried asking anyone who's had contact with me before, you could have tried
01:39:58sending through the call-in show. Like, there's so many different ways, right? Or you could have
01:40:01posted here and says, and say, staff, I'd really like to talk to you about something important
01:40:05privately. It's regarding your organization, blah, blah, blah. And I probably would have
01:40:11messaged you, right? So if somebody had offered you a million dollars to contact me,
01:40:21to find a way to contact me, then you would have, you would have done that, right?
01:40:28So now playing all this rubber bones and I had no, I had no, I had no idea. Like if somebody had
01:40:37said, man, I'll give you a million dollars to get a message through to Steph, a million dollars
01:40:42to get a message through to Steph, I literally spend six hours a week reading messages.
01:40:49What do you mean you had no way? Yeah, for a million dollars, I would figure it out,
01:40:52of course. Okay. So you're lying when you say, I had no idea, I couldn't figure this out,
01:40:56there was no way to, like, you're just lying. Of course you would figure it out, right?
01:41:02So when you say, I couldn't, I didn't, I had no idea, this is just false.
01:41:07It's just false. I'm literally, you understand, you understand how insane this is, right?
01:41:11I'm literally reading your messages saying, I have no way to contact you.
01:41:19Literally reading your messages where you say, Steph, I have no way to contact you.
01:41:27I thought this kind of thing was already common knowledge across the community, so there was
01:41:33what little point keeping it private. I think that message just,
01:41:38I sent you an email before and you didn't respond. Well, I don't know if that's true,
01:41:43because you've been lying a lot, so I don't know if that's true. And of course,
01:41:48I don't respond to every email. I try to read them, but I don't necessarily respond to every email.
01:41:57I thought this stuff was common knowledge, so there's no point in keeping it private.
01:42:02Okay, I think you're lying, but even if that was true, even if that was true, you still need to
01:42:08hear the other person's point of view, right? Right? Even if that's true, you still need to
01:42:14hear the other person's point of view and you may have to make sure you get the facts right.
01:42:17So, you made an assumption that was incorrect. That's false. Nobody else knows what you're
01:42:25talking about, right? So, in a community with, you know, over the years, millions and millions
01:42:31of members, have there been a few dysfunctional people? Yeah, absolutely. Of course, right?
01:42:38For example, it is in the live stream you mentioned. I don't know what that means.
01:42:42Oh, so hang on. So, you did watch the live stream where I invited women who were interested in
01:42:49dating to contact James and Jared, right? And that they're available and they're single and blah,
01:42:55blah, blah, right? So, you saw that. So, you knew that dating and all of that was part of the
01:43:00conversation and part of the show and part of what we've done together. So, how on earth could
01:43:05it be unprofessional for Jared and James to be in a live stream? Right? So, you saw that.
01:43:10How could it be unprofessional for Jared to talk to a girl? Of course, I'm grateful to have heard
01:43:15your point of view. Yeah. So, you already knew this. You already knew that dating was part of
01:43:24the conversation and part of the show and therefore, it's not unprofessional. So, you have
01:43:29no excuse, right? That's really sad, man. That's really sad. You know, and here's the thing too.
01:43:36This is what's really sad and you guys can all correct me if I'm wrong about this. I don't think
01:43:40I am, right? But here's the sad thing. Look, everybody knows you're kind of fucked up,
01:43:48right? Everybody knows. And tell me if I'm wrong about this, right? Tell me if I'm wrong.
01:43:53Everybody can see that you jumped the gun. Maybe I felt it was unprofessional. No, that's not a
01:44:00feeling. So, it went from it was unprofessional to I think it's unprofessional to now it's I feel
01:44:06that it's unprofessional. So, somebody says, it angers me a bit that he is hinting on your
01:44:13employees being creeps knowing that you let them inside your house. Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of
01:44:17mess here, right? But that's fine. I mean, that's what we do is we deal with ethics, right? So,
01:44:23one of the problems, of course, is that everybody knows that this was a bad call, right? To sort of
01:44:34publicly bring this up and not get the other person's point of view and now double down and
01:44:38lie and all of that. So, everybody, like, I'm not sure who you think you're fooling. Like,
01:44:43this is a pretty astute audience, right? And a pretty astute bunch of people. They're all pretty
01:44:47well trained in ethics and virtue and honesty and directness, right? And so,
01:44:59when you don't take responsibility and just say, you know what? I was out of line. I got to figure
01:45:06out why I was out of line. I shouldn't have done that. Jared, I'm really sorry. I withdraw my
01:45:11accusation. It was the wrong thing to do. Like, do you know how much people respect that? Like,
01:45:15it's a wild thing. You know, when I was a kid, I think in my early teens, I didn't like to
01:45:22apologize because it felt weak, right? But do you know how much people respect you if you make a
01:45:26mistake? Like, I've got a whole series of things. I've got a whole series of shows called I Was
01:45:34Wrong About, right? Where I made mistakes. I've apologized to Christians. I've apologized to a
01:45:41variety of people and so on. So, do you know how many people respect what I've done in terms of the
01:45:54directness and honesty through which I've apologized for things that I've gotten wrong?
01:45:58Right? And you've heard me in call-in shows a million times. If I make a statement and someone
01:46:03is wrong, I say, oh, I'm so sorry. My bad. I made a mistake, right? There's nothing wrong,
01:46:08right? The sad part, like the really tragic part, is not in the making of mistakes,
01:46:15but in the doubling down. When everybody and their dog can see that this is wrong.
01:46:26That this is wrong.
01:46:27And when you say, oh, I forgot about that show, or I didn't really consider that, or, you know,
01:46:41whatever, right? And for Jared to message a girl, find out how young she is and say,
01:46:50and respectfully bow out, there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with that.
01:46:58So, you know, if you've made a mistake, there's nothing wrong. I mean, I don't know what...
01:47:09And James's Discord profile used to read like a dating profile. So?
01:47:15So what? So what?
01:47:21So what? I don't understand.
01:47:23I don't understand. I've literally, in the show, said that Jared wants to date.
01:47:27So... Okay, so I know that we've talked about this for a while, and I do find it a very
01:47:34interesting topic, and I do appreciate this demonstration. And I'm sorry, of course, for,
01:47:38you know, it can't have been that much fun for Jared and James, but I think this is a good
01:47:46instruction on things.
01:47:50I have apologized for the inaccuracies I've made,
01:47:52but the accusations are correct and common knowledge.
01:47:56Okay, so he's not in a listening place. Okay, so he's not in a listening place. He's in a
01:48:22defensive place, and he's unable to admit fault, right? He's unable to admit fault.
01:48:36So I'll talk about things that happen, right? And this is just... It's a lack of self-knowledge,
01:48:43and, you know, I sympathize... I really do. I sympathize with the trauma.
01:48:47It's still totally wrong to do this publicly, but I sympathize with the trauma that would lead
01:48:51to this, and if you want to do a call and show, we can certainly do it. But actually,
01:48:55I'll check with Jared and James about that, because they might be too annoyed, and I would
01:48:58listen to them about that, because that would be tough to leer here. Or maybe it'd be better,
01:49:02I don't know. But so there's some interesting things that are happening in this conversation.
01:49:11So first of all,
01:49:15calling a high-status male creepy for contacting younger available women is a typical feminist
01:49:23tactic, right? You've seen this all over the place, right? Where some successful 35-year-old
01:49:29guy wants to date a 25-year-old woman, and all the 35-year-old women who actually want to date
01:49:36the 35-year-old guy, they can't compete because they can't become 25 again,
01:49:42and so they attack him for being a creep. He can't handle a strong woman,
01:49:46she's like a kid, blah, blah, blah, right? And so this attack of creep
01:49:53is often due to a lack of belief that you can compete in the romantic arena,
01:50:02right? So what it does is, you know, men don't want to be labeled creeps, of course,
01:50:06and I know you didn't label Jared a creep, but you've used the term creep in this kind of context.
01:50:11So men don't want to be labeled creep. So it's a form of beta male attack upon a
01:50:20male perceived to be of higher status, and it's an attack to prevent them from contacting women
01:50:29that the beta male is interested in. Because if the higher status male is in contact with a woman
01:50:34that the beta male is interested in, the beta male can't compete, or it's going to take time,
01:50:39or he's going to, I don't know, make money and work out, or whatever he's going to have to do.
01:50:43And so what he does is he launches an emotional attack, a verbal abuse attack,
01:50:49on the higher status male in the hopes that the higher status male will simply back off.
01:50:54So that can be occurring for sure. Now, if this woman had voluntarily, right, obviously voluntarily,
01:51:05if the woman got enmeshed in a dysfunctional conversation for a year and a half, then she's
01:51:11going to be upset and angry and bitter about that, which I understand. But of course, the important
01:51:15question is to figure out why that would have happened, and I don't know. If you messaged me
01:51:20if you messaged me regarding a call-in, I don't know. If you've talked about it with a therapist,
01:51:27which of course I would strongly recommend, if you've got into a dysfunctional online relationship
01:51:32for a year and a half, it's really, really important to go and talk to a therapist and
01:51:35try and figure out why that happened. Or, you know, maybe we can do a call and something could help
01:51:40with that. So the other thing I would imagine too is, this would be my guess, again,
01:51:48could be totally wrong, but, you know, I try to sort of fit the theory with the facts.
01:51:53So my guess is, if this, the person who made the accusation, if this is a male, and I think it is
01:52:00because the 20-year-old said, no, he's just a friend, he'd never dream of dating me. Yeah,
01:52:05okay. So this is my guess. My guess is that your parents got divorced when you were quite young,
01:52:16and your mother was severely angry at your father,
01:52:24and filled you full of a lot of acted-out anger towards an older male, which then,
01:52:31when this woman comes and says, oh, this thing happened, and like, there's something that,
01:52:35there's no stimulus in the events that would result in this level of bad decision-making,
01:52:42right? So the bad decision-making has to come from some other thing that is triggering. It's
01:52:48triggered by this, right? So if you grew up with a manipulative mother who fueled you with her
01:52:54dysfunction, then that would be the case. That would be sort of one reason to explain why this
01:52:59would manifest in this kind of way. Yes, thanks, Jared. Jared is saving the tip questions that I'm
01:53:06not sure we got to. Yeah, no, because I think this is important to address, right?
01:53:14Now, what the fellow is doing, what was his name? Stapler Elite.
01:53:20Oh, you like how Steph handled this? I appreciate that, I appreciate that.
01:53:25So he says, I've admitted fault where there is fault, not where I made a mistake, right? I
01:53:33wouldn't mind getting an apology, not saying I expect it.
01:53:36A white knight in the friend zone, I'm shocked. Well, yeah, maybe, maybe.
01:53:45Let's see here. Creep narcissist would be someone I spoke to when I was 17 and he was 24, right?
01:53:56Somebody says, oh, so the Stapler Elite, the guy who made the accusation says,
01:54:00I've admitted fault where there is fault. And somebody replies, Lee says, it's kind of
01:54:07lame how you're trying to warp our sense of reality with the falsifications you're writing.
01:54:12He says, that's not what's occurring. So the guy is being accused of gaslighting
01:54:18and he immediately gaslights. Oh my gosh.
01:54:22Um, the woman says, uh, he isn't trying to start a drama. Jared stopped the second he knew my age
01:54:31and was respectful. Right. So Jared did nothing wrong. Yeah. I mean, honestly, you, you called
01:54:38two men out publicly for negative behavior and you were wrong. And the woman even says you're
01:54:45wrong. Like the, the, the woman you're defending is saying that you're in the wrong, bro. Wake up.
01:54:52Shake off the hypnosis from the past. Wake up.
01:54:59The girl you're saying Jared acted badly towards is saying he did in no way act badly towards me.
01:55:10Like, come on, man.
01:55:15The woman says Jared stopped the second he knew my age and was respectful and was respectable.
01:55:21So the woman you claimed to have been wronged says she was not wronged in any way, shape or form.
01:55:27So you're saying that this woman that nobody listens to, that the best thing you can do is
01:55:31not listen to her and tell her that she needs defending when she says nothing bad happened.
01:55:41My gosh, bro. And thank you. Listen, I appreciate the woman who's coming here and saying
01:55:48that Jared did nothing wrong. So what are you doing? Like you understand the woman is saying,
01:55:57and listen, you need to listen to this woman. And this woman obviously had a very tough childhood
01:56:01for which I give you massive sympathy and affection. I'm so sorry for that.
01:56:06So you understand that this woman had a very bad childhood
01:56:11full of a lot of drama and anger and dysfunction and not being listened to. And what you're doing
01:56:18now is causing a lot of anger and dysfunction and not listening to her. Like you are actually,
01:56:23you're harming her. You're not helping her. You're harming her.
01:56:29So she's telling you that you're doing something wrong.
01:56:35When you're trying to help her, she's telling you you're doing something wrong.
01:56:39She's telling you you're doing something wrong and you're just doubling down.
01:56:42You understand how dysfunctional and out of reality this is, right?
01:56:48The woman is right here saying Jared did nothing wrong and appreciate that. I appreciate that.
01:56:58So what are you doing? Can you hear that? That you're here saying Jared did something wrong
01:57:08and the woman is saying Jared did nothing wrong.
01:57:14I do listen to her. Okay. So she's saying that you're in the wrong, right? So she's saying
01:57:19you're accusing Jared of doing something wrong when Jared did nothing wrong. So you're in the
01:57:24wrong. So if you're in the wrong and listen, it happens. We all jump the gun. We all can be
01:57:35triggered. We all can be wrong. He knew Jared stopped immediately. I think he was questioning
01:57:43something else. No, no. He was talking about Jared contacting you. He was talking about
01:57:47Jared contacting you because he said it's inappropriate because of the contacting of
01:57:52the age, right? Now the contacting is solved by the fact that we talked openly about dating in
01:57:56the community and lots of people in the community date and Jared wasn't using any power or
01:58:00manipulating. He was just contacting someone in the community, which has happened on the show.
01:58:03So that's not a problem. So then it had to be something to do with the age difference
01:58:07because he brought it up with the age, like the, I don't know, 18 year age gap or whatever.
01:58:14And so it's not wrong for Jared to contact you. And if he's saying there's something wrong because
01:58:20of the age difference and the fact that you, when he found out your age, Jared stopped immediately.
01:58:25So I'm not trying to help her specifically. I wanted to know what your view is on the level
01:58:34of professionalism. And then you have insulted me ever since. Yes, you're the victim. Absolutely.
01:58:39You call someone out for being unprofessional, inappropriate, and then you start throwing the
01:58:42word creep around, creeps, plural, and you're the victim. I got it. I understand. You're not
01:58:49trying to help her specifically, but you brought her case up as the example. So I guess we're not
01:58:56going to get, you know, I mean, you have to know when, when you're, you're a beat, right? You have
01:58:59to know when you're beat. Right. So I have been trying, I've given sympathy to this person saying
01:59:03we all mess up. You know, we all, you know, I've, I said it would be, um, an adult thing to do to
01:59:08apologize and so on. And so, um, and I've given you the answers, right? And, and then you say,
01:59:16all I'm doing is insulting you. Well, I'm calling out obvious lies, which you did lie. You said,
01:59:20I have no way to know how to contact you. And you said, then you said, well, for a million dollars,
01:59:23I'd figure it out. So that's just a lie, right? You can't say something's impossible,
01:59:27but I can do it for a million dollars. Right? So yeah, just not telling the truth. And I'm not
01:59:34insulting you by saying that you're lying, right? When you're lying, that's just an identification
01:59:39of, of reality. I'm not the victim. Oh, you've insulted me ever since, but I'm not the victim.
01:59:45Oh my gosh. Okay. So you have to know when you're done, right? So what have we been 40 minutes or
01:59:49whatever, right? So I've been trying, I've given sympathy, but you know, some moral frankness about
01:59:53these kinds of things. I've given counter examples. The woman has actually come in and said,
01:59:57Hey, I wasn't harmed or wrong. Derek did the right thing. And so you have to know when you can't get
02:00:03through to people, right? Right. I brought this case up as it is ones I have the most evidence
02:00:09of or the strongest evidence. Yes. But the woman is saying that you're wrong, right? So you're
02:00:14saying this is an, this is an example of someone doing something wrong. And the girl is saying,
02:00:20he messaged me. I told him my age. He said, best of luck and moved on. Right? So
02:00:29if this is your strongest case and you're completely wrong, like this is a very rare
02:00:34thing. Honestly, this is why I'm spending time with. This is absolutely fascinating
02:00:37and incredibly rare. How often does it happen where somebody makes a public accusation of
02:00:44wrongdoing and the person they claim to be defending is saying there's no wrongdoing
02:00:51like in real time live. Isn't that right? Now the woman is saying he is very compassionate. Well,
02:01:03you have, but you also have to judge him for how he's acting in public too, right?
02:01:08If he was compassionate, yeah. Where was his compassion towards me and Jared, right?
02:01:15Right. Oh, so now he's hair splitting. I didn't say it was impossible to find out how to contact
02:01:24you. Not knowing a way now doesn't mean I could find one out. I mean, that's just ridiculous,
02:01:28right? Right. That's just ridiculous. Yeah, I do. I do. And again, I'm sorry for you and James
02:01:35Jared, like it's an ugly thing to have to deal with, but boy, how often do you get it where
02:01:41somebody says, well, this person did something wrong to this person. Bob did something wrong
02:01:46to Jane. And then Jane shows up and said, no, no, nothing wrong happened. And the person doesn't
02:01:50back down. That's wild. So then you have to know when to cut your losses, right? So you try to
02:02:00reason with people and you try, no, it's more, this is not, I don't know. I'm really sorry. I
02:02:04just really dislike it when people use the word drama, right? This is, I don't like it when people
02:02:12use the word drama. This is, I mean, this is some fairly serious stuff, right? And this is
02:02:17very important stuff because we do deal with these kinds of things, right?
02:02:22Because the young woman, I think she's 21 now, right? So that this young woman is upset by this.
02:02:37So you've caused her a lot of upset while claiming to be compassionate towards her,
02:02:40because she doesn't want, I don't know if she knew you were going to do this or whatever it is,
02:02:45right? So, but still very, these are the kinds of problems and challenges that we have in life,
02:02:52right? Have I not backed down? What do you mean, have I not backed down?
02:03:04Okay. So James and Jared, if you would like to tell Stapler Elite what you want from him,
02:03:13what do you want from him? After this public call out where he's in the wrong and not only
02:03:18have I proven that he's in the wrong, not only have I proven that he's not telling the truth
02:03:22about some things, but the woman in question has actually come into the stream and said,
02:03:26I was not wronged. The woman says, the young woman says, I'm confused, not upset. I felt
02:03:35awkward at one point because I was in the middle, but I wanted to defend both Jared and Stapler Elite.
02:03:42Stapler Elite should apologize to me and Jared for the false accusation. Yeah. You accused them
02:03:47of doing something wrong when the woman in question said, well, James didn't even contact her,
02:03:51but the woman in question said he did nothing wrong. Okay. So he says, I just wanted to
02:04:00understand more. Okay. So now you understand more. You didn't contact me privately. You didn't contact
02:04:04them privately. You didn't ask the woman, oh, maybe you did, if she thought that Jared had
02:04:09done anything wrong, uh, you then publicly called it out. It turns out you were wrong. You're not
02:04:14backing down. You're playing the victim. You're falsifying things. So what James and Jared have
02:04:19asked for, since you make the accusation, this is one of the reasons why you don't accuse people
02:04:23publicly, unless you really know what you're talking about, because you have to apologize
02:04:29publicly. Right. Right. So they have said that they want an apology for you accusing them of
02:04:35wrongdoing, or as you say, unprofessionalism, which went from it is unprofessional to
02:04:43I think it's unprofessional to it feels unprofessional, which is not a feeling,
02:04:46it's just a way of avoiding, like when people say, I feel that you're wrong, they're saying that
02:04:56you're saying that you're in the wrong, but, and which is an objective accusation.
02:05:00And then you say, but I can't prove it because it's just a feeling. Right. So it's a combo,
02:05:04it's an accusation of wrongdoing, which would require evidence, but then you put the word,
02:05:09I feel so that you don't have to provide evidence because it's just a feeling. Right.
02:05:16What's wrong? Oh, so he says, Jared says an apology is deserved. Nietzsche owns all the
02:05:22wrongs he's done. He says, what wrong have I done to you? I said, you did something that you did do.
02:05:27No, you said it was unprofessional. It's not.
02:05:37I'm not going to apologize for saying they did something they did.
02:05:41Well, okay. Let's, let's start with something that's easier. Right.
02:05:48So are you accusing James of inappropriately messaging women in the community? Is that right?
02:05:57No, because you'd have to be certain of that, right? Because you're saying they,
02:06:08right? You're saying they did something because you're only talking about Jared.
02:06:12And the woman has said that Jared didn't do anything wrong. And so, but you're saying they,
02:06:17you're including James in that. Now, are you accusing James of being unprofessional
02:06:22because he has that he's single and interested in his profile?
02:06:31He says, I thought it was unprofessional and I understand your arguments as to why it isn't and
02:06:35will have to think about it. Okay. So your accusation that it is unprofessional is now
02:06:41open to question, right? Your accusation that it was unprofessional is now open to question,
02:06:50which means that you need to withdraw the accusation that it is certain or that it is bad.
02:07:04This requires thought. I'm confused. No, he wants to not, he doesn't want to apologize.
02:07:08He doesn't want to apologize. Like if I said, Bob did something really wrong to Jane and then Jane
02:07:14comes on and says, no, he didn't. I'd be like, oh, sorry. My bad. My bad. Wow. Bad, bad stuff.
02:07:20Right. But again, I get you're not gonna, you're not gonna, I mean, you're not gonna do it.
02:07:28I understand. I understand. I think it's a shame. See, here's the thing, right? Like,
02:07:33I don't know if people know the stakes, right? Say it's a drama and all of that, but here's
02:07:36the thing. And this is to staple early, right? Like you don't know the stakes, right?
02:07:41So the stakes are this, you have the opportunity here to change the course of your life.
02:07:51Honestly, you have the opportunity because you have a really interesting learning situation,
02:07:58right? Because most people won't talk to you about this stuff. They won't empathize with you. They
02:08:02won't give you possible solutions or reasons as to why it happened. They won't explore what might
02:08:07be going on, right? So this is a, I'm telling you, I don't know how to emphasize this strongly
02:08:15enough. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to do the right thing. To just say, hey, I'm sorry.
02:08:22I shouldn't have done this publicly. And the woman I said was wrong says she's not wrong. So
02:08:28I was, I jumped the gun. So that, doing that, doing that will change the course of your life.
02:08:36Now you and I both know what's going to happen if you don't do that. What's going to happen is
02:08:41you're going to retreat to your lair after the call. Everybody knows this, right? You're going
02:08:46to retreat to your lair after you call, after this live stream, and then you're going to
02:08:52justify yourself and find out that you were right and double down in your mind and all of that,
02:08:58right? That's what's going to happen. This is like, it's now or never. Honestly, it's a once
02:09:03in a lifetime opportunity, which is going to determine the rest of your life. This is why
02:09:07when people just say, oh, it's drama, it's like, no, no, no. You're in a community where, first of
02:09:12all, I do empathize. I sympathize and your history and all of that, I understand. That doesn't mean
02:09:17I'm going to excuse the behavior, but I have some empathy and some sympathy. You're also in a
02:09:21community like everybody is cheering you on to do the right thing and just apologize. That everybody
02:09:28is just like cheering you on. Do you know how happy everyone would be and how much people would
02:09:33respect you for saying, jump the gun, made a public accusation. Turns out it's more complex than I
02:09:39thought. I shouldn't have done that, right? I should have talked about it privately and so on,
02:09:43right? Again, it's not like you strangle the hobo, right? But everyone is on your side. Everybody
02:09:49wants you to just say, sorry, and you have the opportunity to do that. Now pride and gaslighting
02:09:56yourself and all of that kind of stuff. I understand that temptation. We all have it.
02:10:02And brother, I sympathize. We all have it. But this is the moment. This is the moment that
02:10:07literally determines the rest of your life. Because if you apologize, which you should do,
02:10:12right? Everybody knows you should do that, right? So if you apologize, then obviously you'll be
02:10:18forgiven. People will be happy that you did it. You'll gain respect within the community
02:10:23because it's clear to everyone, especially since this young woman showed up and I really do
02:10:27appreciate her showing up and thank you. I really do. That's wonderful. What an incredible thing to
02:10:32do and massive respect. So everybody is like literally cheering for you to do the right thing.
02:10:39Everybody will forgive you and respect you much more for wrestling with this demon of pride and
02:10:45vanity and just apologizing and doing the right thing. But this opportunity, my friend,
02:10:53will not come again. This is so important to understand these stakes. This opportunity
02:11:00will not come again. Because you will never again be in a situation with such an understanding and
02:11:08encouraging community that is willing to reason with you, give you some sympathy while still
02:11:12calling you out on something that you did that was wrong. And you will then, because if you're
02:11:17publicly calling people out, but then you can't be publicly called out, then you're a hypocrite
02:11:22and you don't want to do that. I just had this whole speech, funnily enough, about hypocrisy in
02:11:25your conscience, right? Because if you're going to say, well, it's good to call people publicly out
02:11:30and then you won't apologize if you're in the wrong, this opportunity will not come again.
02:11:37Because if you don't apologize, and it kind of has to be now because then you're still in control
02:11:42of the situation, if you don't apologize, then you will lose all credibility, at least in this
02:11:48community. I mean, certainly with me you will, right? And I just won't want to have anything
02:11:51to do with you in the future. So, because I know these patterns, right? And you've had like an hour
02:11:57and hour of obfuscating and avoiding and playing the victim and gaslighting and all of that, which
02:12:01I sympathize. Like the amount of fear that you experienced as a child that would have you do this
02:12:05kind of stuff, I really, really do seriously, deeply sympathize and empathize with, right?
02:12:14But if you miss this opportunity, and you know, I'm telling you, you won't believe me, and you
02:12:19may not believe me for 5, 10, 15, 20 or 50 years, but in your life, you will look back and you will
02:12:26say, I had that chance. I had that chance to act better. I've been given that chance by others.
02:12:34Sometimes I didn't take it, but eventually I did. But this is when I was very young and not,
02:12:39you know, this sort of public call out stuff, just private stuff, right?
02:12:44This is a now or never moment. This is a do
02:12:49or never do moment. It's not going to happen again. This alignment of the planets where you
02:12:56have made an unjust, unfair accusation, it's been proven beyond any doubt that it was an unjust and
02:13:03unfair accusation, which again, we all do and not the end of the world. All you have to do is just
02:13:09say, I jumped the gun. I am sorry, right? I'm really sorry. And again, I know it's tough to
02:13:17do on text and all of that, but if you don't do it, that's the rest of your life. You are sealing
02:13:24yourself off, I think, from decent quality people from now on. All right, what do we got here?
02:13:47So, he said, I thought it was unprofessional. I genuinely did think this. Now I'm not sure.
02:13:55Okay. Very rare someone in person gives you this much grace. I think so, yeah.
02:14:07The woman says, I don't like that I had to get involved. I think Stapler is an incredibly
02:14:12compassionate male. People were insulting him and want to reaffirm Jared Stomp the second he
02:14:17knew my age. But he did also call Jared unprofessional, which is kind of an
02:14:25inappropriate, right? I'm sorry for lumping in Jared with the people who I know are creepy.
02:14:38I'm sorry for making the accusations publicly when I didn't have all the evidence.
02:14:42But why? Sorry, why? You said you're employees, right? So you put Jared and James in.
02:14:56So, where's your apology to James?
02:15:12I can wait.
02:15:21Now, also, you didn't have all the evidence. I mean, if you're coming into the events of this
02:15:25woman and she says that Jared did nothing wrong, you avoided getting evidence, right? So, again,
02:15:28there's still something kind of weaselly about the apology, but it certainly is a step in the
02:15:32right direction, which I appreciate. But when you apologize, you cannot include any falsehoods in
02:15:38your apology. So, I didn't get all the evidence. But if you're saying Bob wronged to Jane,
02:15:45shouldn't you find out if Jane felt wronged? Failure to get that, right?
02:15:52He said, yeah, I'm sorry to Jared and James.
02:16:07Why is he? Yeah, I'm sorry to Jared and James. Okay, that's some pretty thin sauce, man. But
02:16:13hey, you know what? I hope I'm not being stingy. I'm not feeling it. Yeah, no, you're not being
02:16:17stingy, James. That's it. Yeah. Y-E-A-H. Yeah is like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
02:16:23I'm sorry, right? I'm sorry to Jared and James. Yeah, that's, you know, that's a letter of the
02:16:29law, right? So, I get where you're coming from. And again, it's tough, tough to do over tax. Tax
02:16:33is not particularly ideal at processing these kinds of things. But okay, well, that's all I
02:16:41want to do with this. And I really do appreciate, again, I'm sorry to Jared and James. This was an
02:16:46unpleasant thing to go through. But sometimes...
02:16:52But some... Oh, I blocked James. Okay. So...
02:17:00People are saying now it's not a genuine apology. No, I get that. And, you know, you can reason,
02:17:06and then you need to know when to stop. So, I'm done with it. And I really do appreciate,
02:17:11and sorry, we didn't get, we did save the other questions, and we will get to those.
02:17:15If you find this kind of stuff helpful, and isn't it interesting to see
02:17:18a moral issue worked out in real time? I think it is interesting to see that. And...
02:17:28So, I think this is quite fascinating. And, you know, maybe it's nice for you all to see
02:17:36how I handle these kinds of conflicts in real time and in the moment, right? Because it's one
02:17:44thing, you know, to see somebody write articles. It's another thing to see them debate real time,
02:17:49right? And this was trying to work out a moral issue, which was serious. I mean,
02:17:53that's serious stuff, right? And it was my attempt to work out a moral issue in real time.
02:17:57And I think, you know, a good combination of firmness and honesty and sympathy,
02:18:04and it's unique to have all the parties present. Yeah, isn't that wild? Isn't that wild?
02:18:10Uh, he says, uh, that was poor wording. All the evidence implies there is more evidence against
02:18:14them. I'm sorry for calling them unprofessional publicly. Okay. Okay. This is tip-worthy stuff.
02:18:21Yeah, come on. Real time, everybody involved, everyone together, everybody messaging,
02:18:27and a good example of how to work things out morally in real time. Come on, baby! That's
02:18:35got to be tip-worthy. And again, sorry for the people Jared has hoovered up, and I will answer
02:18:40those questions as soon as possible. But yes, fascinating stuff. And I, again, I'm sorry to
02:18:50Jared and James. I know it was ugly, but I really do appreciate the opportunity to work this.
02:18:55Somebody says, this is similar to what I'm dealing with right now. It's amazing to see you handle it.
02:18:59Well, I appreciate that. Look, I want to be firm. I don't want to be lied to. And I'm not going to
02:19:03say to someone, you're just a terrible, evil, nasty person, but I am going to call out a lie.
02:19:08He says, I'm sorry if this has done any damage to their reputations.
02:19:12That's good. I appreciate that. The damage is to your reputation, which is the challenge.
02:19:17Love the community. Well, I appreciate that. Thank you, everyone, so much. All right. So,
02:19:22if you find this helpful and you're listening later, freedomain.com slash donate. I would
02:19:27really, really appreciate that. And yes, by the way, whether you work for me or not, or work with
02:19:36me or not, you can contact, I mean, I don't really need to say this, right? This is just a UBB
02:19:44thing. Is it a violation of the non-aggression principle or fraud to contact other people?
02:19:49No, of course not. Of course not. It's not complicated, right? Thank you for taking this
02:19:56head-on, Steph. It was great and helpful to watch. Well, I appreciate that. I appreciate that. And
02:20:01I hope that it's helpful to people as a whole. I'm sure it is, right? And maybe this will be
02:20:06studied in the future about how to deal with conflicts. But what an incredible opportunity
02:20:10where everybody's present, right? Where everyone is present. I appreciate that. All right. Have
02:20:16yourselves a wonderful, wonderful afternoon. Don't forget peacefulparenting.com. You get all
02:20:21of the good stuff. You don't even need to subscribe. Although, it's nice if you do,
02:20:24like it's kind of getting out there and open. Don't forget to check us out on TikTok,
02:20:32tiktok.com forward slash atfreedomain.com. I think, I think, a great show. Jared and James
02:20:40can message me anytime. Very nice. And don't forget my novels, The Present, The Future,
02:20:46Just Poor, The God of Atheists, Almost. It's fantastic stuff. You can get it at
02:20:51freedomain.com slash books and lots of love from up here. Everyone, I really,
02:20:56really appreciate your time today and have yourself a beautiful, beautiful day. Bye.