321 Penguins The Green Eyed Monster (Asia Star International) (without intro)
I removed the intro for copyright reasons
Transcript
00:00TRIUMPHANT MUSIC
00:02Travel two light-years to next planet.
00:05Past space nebula and turn left.
00:09I believe we got a problem.
00:11I should say so.
00:15I'd say our navigational system is a virus.
00:18Uh, bless you.
00:20Thank you.
00:22ALARM BEEPS
00:26That's the alarm! Battle stations, everyone!
00:30TRIUMPHANT MUSIC
00:51Jason's room is bigger than mine.
00:54TRIUMPHANT MUSIC
01:00TRIUMPHANT MUSIC
01:22See? My room is .05 meters smaller than Jason's.
01:26So I've got the bigger room?
01:29At home, I don't even have my own room.
01:32Cool!
01:33It's not cool. I've got a problem here.
01:36And we'll look into it as soon as we fix our navigation system.
01:39What?
01:45How are we supposed to get anywhere without a navigational system?
01:50Wait.
01:51I know. We'll use the stars.
01:53Captain, you failed astronomy at the academy.
01:55How about a map?
01:57TRIUMPHANT MUSIC
02:03Uh, seems I've forgotten the exact address.
02:06Why don't you guys fight it? I've got Captain stuff to do.
02:13Let's see.
02:15Ah, here it is. L7.
02:17Bingo!
02:18Uh, set our cars for L7.
02:22Um, I believe you have to fold it here.
02:28TRIUMPHANT MUSIC
02:38We'll just get to this later.
02:47Hello. The usual?
02:54Bad day?
02:55You said it.
02:56I've got a very serious problem and no one's even paying attention to me.
03:00I'm listening.
03:02Jason's room is bigger than mine.
03:04All this time, I thought I had the bigger room.
03:07But no!
03:09Ah, so you've been attacked by the green-eyed monster.
03:12What?
03:13Envy.
03:14It's when you resent someone because they have something you want.
03:17I don't want what he has.
03:19I just think things should be fair. That's all.
03:22As your old pal Saul says,
03:24a tranquil heart is good for the body,
03:27but envy rots the bones.
03:31Do you know I never understand anything you say?
03:34I know.
03:35We're done, Michelle. Finish up so we can get back on the ship.
03:40What are we going to do with all that peanut butter?
03:43I'm sorry.
03:50Bless you.
03:52Thank you.
03:53Attention, UFBS Rockhopper.
03:55Come in, Rockhopper.
03:57We're here, Commander Strap.
03:59Quite right.
04:00Have an assignment for you.
04:01There's a territorial dispute on planet Pickett.
04:04Need you to dash over there and make things right.
04:07This is no milk run, men.
04:09Tensions are running high on planet Pickett.
04:12Good fences do not make good neighbors.
04:17Your assignment is no less than preventing all-out war.
04:23Did I say something funny?
04:25No, sir. It's just...
04:27I don't see what's so funny.
04:29I just told you tensions are high.
04:31Let's put a stop to it.
04:32Planet Pickett is no picnic. I can promise you that.
04:35What on earth is going on there, Captain?
04:37Is there something I should know?
04:39Not at all, sir.
04:40We're on our way, Commander.
04:42Excellent.
04:43You're just the crew for this job.
04:45Trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind,
04:49obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent.
05:03Strange. It seems to have a fence around the end.
05:07I'll set the coordinates.
05:09Prepare for landing.
05:24That landing was a lot smoother than normal.
05:27Good job, men.
05:32That's not going to come out.
05:34Sheep.
05:38All right.
05:39A delegation from this planet should be here in two shakes of a lamb's tail.
05:43You want me to talk to them?
05:45Thank you, but no.
05:47The population here needs someone they can look up to and respect.
05:52While the Doctor and Mitchell help Navi get better,
05:54we three will take care of the planet problem.
05:58Thank you for the snack.
06:00Let's get going, then.
06:02Hello, and you are...
06:04I am Barthos, Supreme Leader of the planet Pickett.
06:09I'm Captain Sigil of the Federation.
06:12I'm here to help you in your time of need.
06:14Can someone get this off me?
06:21Anyway, on behalf of the Federation, let me say it's very nice to meet you.
06:27You get it? E-W-E.
06:30You get it? E-W-E. You.
06:33Like a female sheep?
06:35Yeah.
06:36Is there someone else we can talk to?
06:39Nope. It's him or nobody.
06:42You.
06:43You.
06:57Say, I was wondering.
06:59Do you have some kind of transporter beam thingy I could use?
07:03Might we ask why?
07:05Okay, here's my plan.
07:06We transport everything from Jason's room to my room,
07:09and everything from my room to his.
07:11Switch nameplates, too.
07:12They'll never know the difference.
07:14But would that be fair, dearie?
07:17It would be fair for me.
07:24My sentiments exactly.
07:31All rise.
07:36Pardon me.
07:37Excuse me.
07:38Pardon me.
07:39Excuse me.
07:40Excuse me.
07:44Ahem.
07:45Country sheep, lend me your shears,
07:48for today we face the gravest problem our planet has encountered
07:53since the invention of wool sweaters.
07:57For here on Planet Picket,
07:59the grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence.
08:05Order! Order in the house!
08:10Fine. If no one will help me, I'll do it myself.
08:14Fix button.
08:16Move everything out of here and over to Jason's room.
08:41We're under attack!
08:43Someone's attacking your socks?
08:45No! I mean, yes! I mean, just look!
08:58And so, in closing, I can only call upon our better natures
09:04that we can put this dilemma behind us once and for all!
09:11Ahem.
09:14Oh, sorry about that.
09:16It's just they've got a problem over at the...
09:19It's a monster. Tiny thing, really.
09:21Kevin, go help them.
09:24Excuse me.
09:25Excuse me.
09:26Excuse me.
09:32Oh, it's me?
09:34Well, as I see it, you've got a couple of options here.
09:41Uh, and to explain what those options are,
09:45I've brought in an expert in interstellar relations.
09:48Jason?
09:49What? Me?
09:50Oh, well, hello.
09:52Yes, my expert opinion is that you could...
09:56you should switch sides.
09:59That way you can see if the grass really is greener
10:03on the other side of the fence.
10:07Switch sides?
10:08Why, that's brilliant.
10:10All those in favor of switching sides say...
10:16So moved.
10:17Everyone, switch!
10:24I don't know why, but suddenly I'm very sleepy.
10:30Hold still.
10:32Gotcha!
10:36Ow!
10:37Clip it.
10:38Fidgel. A little out, please.
10:40Doing my best, old man. Doing my best.
10:46Now that we have all switched sides,
10:49is everyone satisfied?
10:53What say you?
10:56Mr. Leader, sir, we are most not satisfied.
11:01And why not?
11:03Their grass is still greener.
11:05Greener!
11:10There he goes! Stop him!
11:16Now that's just rude.
11:19I've had just about enough of this.
11:23Someone do something!
11:36Fire in the hole!
11:44How can their grass be greener?
11:46You were just there!
11:48I'm telling you, it's exactly the same!
11:51Order! Order in the house!
11:54I'm telling you, grass is grass is grass!
11:59Good thing they're nothing like us, huh, Jason?
12:01Actually, Captain, I'm not so sure.
12:06Stop!
12:16This way!
12:22Got him!
12:23Thank goodness.
12:25Can I keep him?
12:26As what?
12:27A pet.
12:28A pet?
12:29Nice kitty.
12:31I guess.
12:32Just make sure he doesn't get out.
12:35And let the Captain know that it's all under control here.
12:42Don't worry, Jason.
12:44Everything's fine back at the ship.
12:48They're under attack! Run for your lives!
12:53Another monster?
12:55No problem. I'll take care of it.
13:06Meeting adjourned! Meeting adjourned!
13:09Captain! Captain! Wake up!
13:12Huh? What? What time is it?
13:14She really put me to sleep.
13:16Hurry, Captain! We have to do something!
13:18Why? I just woke up!
13:21I need to brush my teeth, comb my hair,
13:25and faint!
13:36Hey, guys! We need help out here!
13:39What's wrong, Jason?
13:43Oh my! That's a big one!
13:45Where are they coming from?
13:48Jason, where's the Captain?
13:52Well, good form.
13:54Jason, you've been attacked by the green-eyed monster!
13:58Where have I heard that before?
14:01Whatever you do, don't leave it back here.
14:03Exactly! We don't have a glass jar big enough to hold that!
14:10Yummy!
14:18Hey, guys! Watch out! That thing is hungry!
14:23Right! Straight away, boys!
14:34Huh?
14:40Well, this is a fine kettle of Fallubian fries.
14:43How are we supposed to fly around the galaxy saving people if we're stuck sitting on this?
14:52Don't worry, Captain. He's trapped.
14:54That's right! You're trapped!
14:57By my crew! Under my command!
14:59Excellent leadership skills.
15:01Let's go, men!
15:03Sorry, Captain. We can't.
15:05That's insubordination! That's mutiny!
15:08Captain, if we get up, he gets out.
15:11Hmm. Good point.
15:13What happened here?
15:14Well, let's see.
15:15We showed up, tried to help you with your tiff, you voted, switched sides, started arguing,
15:19monster showed up, I brought in my crew, we saved the day.
15:22I think you forgot the part where you fainted.
15:24Just going with the important details, thank you very much.
15:28The monster destroyed our beautiful grass.
15:31There's hardly any of it left.
15:36Where's the monster?
15:38What do you mean, where's the monster?
15:40He's right here.
15:46That is one hungry monster.
15:48What should we do?
15:49Hope he keeps digging until he hits the other side.
15:54Huh. Not so much for that plan.
15:58Green-eyed monster.
16:01Green-eyed.
16:03That's it?
16:07Captain, Michelle here.
16:09Little busy, Michelle.
16:10I think I know what caused the monsters to appear.
16:13Oh, then by all means, do tell.
16:16Get back to the ship! The green-eyed monster escaped!
16:20I'm scared, and I'm running out of clothes.
16:28Whoa.
16:29Bad.
16:32I remembered something Sol told me, and realized this monster is my fault.
16:37Your fault? No.
16:38You can't blame yourself, dearie.
16:41So what'd you do?
16:42It came from envy.
16:44I resented what Jason had, and now everything is ruined.
16:48I don't care if it is smaller.
16:50I like my room just fine.
16:52Wait a minute, Michelle. That had an effect on it. Say it again.
16:56I was wrong. I don't want Jason's room.
17:00I appreciate what I've got.
17:02I don't even care if my room is smaller.
17:06Thank our lucky stars.
17:08Wait a minute. You're saying this monster appeared from envy?
17:11Yes.
17:12And if your solution was to appreciate what you have, then it stands to reason...
17:18Then what?
17:20Then what?
17:21What happens when we appreciate what we have?
17:26Over here, pigeon.
17:29Tell the sheep exactly what you told us.
17:32Attention, sheep.
17:33The secret is, be satisfied with what you have.
17:37Wanting someone else's stuff only feeds the monster.
17:42You have to be content.
17:45I repeat. You have to be content.
17:50She's right. The grass on our side is as green as theirs. It's not so bad.
18:11Way to go, sis.
18:13Thanks.
18:15Oh. I'm sorry, everybody.
18:18Oh, don't worry, dearie. All's well that ends well.
18:23I had my doubts there for a while, though.
18:25Sol was right. A heart that's satisfied is good.
18:29But envy just eats up everything that you have and robs you from the inside out.
18:35Nigel, our job is done here.
18:38Feeling better, Navi?
18:41Yes, sir. Go to second solar system and turn right.
18:44Take us home, please.
18:52Mariette, a little lamb, a little ham, a little jam.
18:56Mariette, a little lamb.
18:58And I'm done, I am, I am.
19:00Children, come see what Grandma made.
19:04Something for us? Something to eat?
19:09Good nose, Jason. I've got cake for later.
19:12But for now, wool blankets for each of you.
19:16Oh, thank you, Grandma. It's beautiful.
19:19So this is what you were doing with all that wool. I love it.
19:24Can you guess why I put sheep on each blanket?
19:28Because it's wool and you get wool from sheep?
19:31No, but that's very logical.
19:34Because you grew up on a sheep ranch?
19:36Oh, I didn't grow up on a sheep ranch, dear.
19:39But that's very imaginative.
19:42I put them on your blankets because sheep are innocent, gentle creatures just like you two.
19:49Jason? Innocent? Gentle?
19:52Now, up to bed and I'll bring you each a nice, warm piece of my cake.
19:56Oh, yes!
19:59Cake all around with Grandmum's famous coconut raspberry guava frosting.
20:05Thank you, Grandmum.
20:06What's guava? It's not like liver, is it?
20:10No, it's a tropical fruit, dear.
20:14Hey, his piece is bigger than...
20:17Bigger than what, Michelle?
20:19Nothing, Grandmum. I'm happy with the piece of cake I have.
20:23Oh, good night, dears. Remember to brush your teeth.
20:30Continue straight for the next five light years.
20:33Whoa!
20:38Oh, my.
21:03Transcription by ESO. Translation by —