Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00:00You
00:00:30You
00:01:00I
00:01:20Fuck
00:01:26You got any crystal
00:01:30Shit twisting your fruit loops, you know, why don't you go passionately fuck yourself?
00:01:46Yeah, you're all sweaty
00:01:49What you looking for?
00:01:51My skull lighter. I swear if it's missing
00:01:55Slit my wrists
00:01:57Now that would be a great loss to the human race sit and spin
00:02:12That guy is the intelligence in the stool sample he's okay
00:02:21I think he's got brain damage, but he's okay
00:02:28Place is so fucking boring. I wish someone would burn it to the ground
00:02:34We just get the fuck out of here, okay
00:02:43We're gonna go to heaven
00:02:58Go ahead and stick it inside
00:03:03Jordan dick in me
00:03:05I
00:03:25Just
00:03:35Afraid of catching it, but we're both virgins
00:04:01Where's the fucking cigarettes
00:04:05I
00:04:16Don't know what it is, but I feel really weird tonight
00:04:22Like something's gonna happen me too
00:04:29Hey
00:04:32Do you love me?
00:04:35Yeah, totally
00:04:38Why
00:04:40It's just I
00:04:42Love you can mean a lot of things like you'll do till someone better comes along. I
00:04:49Can't describe how I really feel. I know I'm supposed to say this
00:04:56Or shut up
00:04:58I'm watching TV. Are you stone?
00:05:05I
00:05:09Think sometimes the city is sucking away at my soul
00:05:13Like yesterday. I was stuck in this humongous traffic jam on the 405 freeway. I
00:05:20Just couldn't wait to get to the dead bodies lying there on the bloody asphalt
00:05:25All I cared about was getting out and moving again. I
00:05:29know I
00:05:32Felt like a gerbil smothering Richard Gere's butthole
00:05:47There just is no place for us in this world
00:05:49I
00:06:20I
00:06:22Swear if there's one thing in the door one scratch in the paint
00:06:26What the fuck are you talking about? This car is older than you and your jailbait boyfriend here
00:06:35Combined I love this car. Oh
00:06:38My god, you're bleeding all over the upholstery
00:06:41Jesus don't potting your panties about Jordan. He is bleeding all over my upholstery. It's okay
00:06:50You all right, man
00:06:52Yeah, I'm totally into getting the fuck be out of me and slice my own leg up you're really fucking rude
00:07:00You know that? Hey, that's my shirt. Oh
00:07:03Sorry, that's cool
00:07:06Go ahead
00:07:07Yes, it that is so gross. What's your name? Anyway?
00:07:14What's your name
00:07:20Xavier
00:07:23It's Xavier is the stupidest fucking name I've ever heard is it cool if I just call you X I
00:07:32Can't really pronounce all that
00:07:35Only if I get to call you nutlicker bullshit music you'd be a big brass band. What's with your lady here Gordo?
00:07:42Terminal PMS. Fuck you. No, fuck you
00:07:49Get out of my fucking car
00:07:53Come on Amy, you didn't mean it
00:07:56Just joking around
00:07:57Right X tell her. Yeah, Amy. Don't get your uterus all tied in a knot
00:08:03Listen, just some breath on chat my fucking car right this fucking second
00:08:08I'm not kidding scum fuck get lost
00:08:20You're giving me an erection you're a pugnant
00:08:28Okay, Miss America you win
00:08:36Beat me up Scotty
00:08:42Later gator. Hey, what about my shirt?
00:08:50I
00:08:55Think sex my pleasure nutlicker. Will you marry me?
00:09:03Hey, you don't have to decide
00:09:07You can do anything you want sleep on it, honey, I swear Amy
00:09:13You can be so harsh. I
00:09:17Don't know
00:09:18You seem cool
00:09:21Kind of strange maybe he was an anus face
00:09:26What were we talking about the other day about trying to be less judgmental of people fuck that
00:09:36I'm starving. Stop the next quickie mark. Okay
00:09:48I
00:09:53Sure, you don't want anything I'm speeding remember. Oh, yeah
00:10:00Hey, no smoking here
00:10:04This
00:10:14Hey garlic you pick up eat my fuck
00:10:19Amy
00:10:22Pick up girly
00:10:28I'm so sure
00:10:38We happy
00:10:48$6.66
00:10:55That's weird must have fallen out in the car I'll pay you right back
00:11:08Fuck
00:11:11scum fuck
00:11:13$6.66
00:11:15Fuck
00:11:17scum fuck
00:11:19$6.66 you fucking kook. We left our wallets in the car. Okay, let me just go out and
00:11:26$6.66 what are you gonna do? Shoot us? This is some kind of joke like can a camera or something
00:11:32Oh
00:11:41Scram the fuck are you doing?
00:11:45Saving your fucking life. I asked you to do us any big favors, huh?
00:11:49Would you please just get the fuck out of here Jordan? He's getting into deep shit
00:12:02You just get the hell out of here
00:12:32Oh
00:12:44Would you just fucking chill
00:12:47His head man. It was talking. Oh my god. I
00:12:54Think we're probably cool. I mean the weirdo gook lady with the machete. She probably doesn't even speak English
00:12:59I think everything's gonna be fine
00:13:01The fuck do you mean? Everything's gonna be fine. You just blew somebody's fucking head off
00:13:07You know, you gotta be a little pessimist all the time, don't you little miss gloom and doom well fuck you you were there
00:13:15You're both were there with me
00:13:18And read my lips
00:13:20We're in this together. I
00:13:22Fry
00:13:23Y'all fry blow it out your crusty rectum loser. We don't know you we barely just met you
00:13:30We certainly don't like you. You're fucking crazy
00:13:35And you're ugly besides
00:13:38I love you too, darling
00:13:41It's fucking head
00:13:43It's in the relish onions
00:13:46It was talking. I
00:13:49Mean don't you think you want to call your mom or something?
00:13:54What mommy and daddy you'll be all worried about their baby girl
00:13:58My mom used to be a heroin addict. That's just Scientologist. My old man's dead
00:14:06Sorry, I'm not he's a blooded alky pig. It was always trying to molest me
00:14:14What about you
00:14:17My folks live in Encino
00:14:20My folks live in Encino
00:14:35My mom shot my dad and then killed herself when I was 12
00:14:38Taking a bath
00:15:08I
00:15:12Love this show man
00:15:19So how long you and a princess Leia been a happy little couple
00:15:25fuck a
00:15:28Long time
00:15:32Three months
00:15:35No way
00:15:38You know most of my relationships they last about three days
00:15:43Or
00:15:45Three hours
00:15:48Yeah, well relationships bite
00:15:54Wow
00:15:57Righteous tattoo. Thanks. I've been wanting one forever, but I
00:16:02Can't decide on a design. I like enough
00:16:04You
00:16:07Know
00:16:09Where are my body for like the rest of my life?
00:16:13Big commitment
00:16:17Sure do like yours a lot though. I
00:16:25Gotta take a whiz
00:16:34Hi, I must piss
00:17:04I
00:17:06I
00:17:08I
00:17:10I
00:17:33Now some of this next footage may be too gruesome for some audience members so viewer discretion is advised
00:17:40Police say that the severed head of quickie Mart proprietor
00:17:44when cock suck was still talking when it was discovered at approximately 2 39 a.m. by a
00:17:51Jersey made delivery man and the San Fernando Valley Sheriff's Department is still
00:17:57Investigating the bizarre ritualistic slaying of his wife and children as well
00:18:01It appears that the shopkeepers wife was so distraught over the slaying of her husband that she took the lives of her children
00:18:08Disemboweling them wait just a second there
00:18:12Disemboweling them. Yes Chet
00:18:14Disemboweling them the police so far have only one clue to the identity of mr. Sucks murderer or murderers
00:18:21This skull earring the type sold most frequently in rock and roll paraphernalia
00:18:28shops often worn by
00:18:30homosexuals
00:18:31Satanists and members of other dangerous cult groups. Oh, that's handy
00:18:36Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't a lot of people especially
00:18:40Trendy teenagers following the latest fad kids who are otherwise perfectly normal
00:18:45Don't they wear earrings similar to the one shown here?
00:18:49Yes
00:19:05Oh
00:19:35I'm so fucking hungry. I could eat my leg. How about a little food relaction, huh?
00:19:46Give me the sloper Rama belly buster. No onions a passion fruit slurp stir and
00:19:54Decide a curly Q fries
00:19:57I'm so hungry. I could eat my leg. How about a little food relaction, huh?
00:20:01And
00:20:03Decide a curly Q fries. I'll have some barbecue beef chunks
00:20:08some fried cheese balls
00:20:11and avion
00:20:14Diet coke extra-large
00:20:17She never eats when she does crystal
00:20:22Yep, I lost my earring
00:20:26That'll be
00:20:28666
00:20:31Jordan I'm sure we are like in this total predicament and you're worried about losing a fucking earring
00:20:36It's got sentimental value
00:20:39My mom gave it to me when I finally passed algebra trade
00:20:45You can relax your royal
00:20:47Sphincter muscle your highness the crazy machete lady offed herself and her kids so there's no witnesses left
00:20:54What they're all dead it was on the news
00:20:58We're so full of sheep excrement. It's not even funny. I
00:21:02Saw it on TV. So it's got to be true, right?
00:21:06Yeah, but what if that guy's head is still talking and he tells the cops everything
00:21:14I
00:21:19Mean
00:21:22666
00:21:25Sunshine give me some money
00:21:28Sunshine is that you I think you'd be mixed up with someone else
00:21:32Don't have face. Give me some money. Don't lie to me now. I
00:21:38Know it's you looky fucking chunky pumpkin head. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about
00:21:44Just give me some fucking money. You said you love me
00:21:49You said you'd never leave me is this night as a living brain dead
00:21:54Wake up and smell the cappuccino geek. I don't know you I've never fucking seen you before
00:22:01I don't know the fuck the sunshine is you little whore
00:22:06You broke my fucking heart come on sunshine give the poor guy a break
00:22:14And give me some motherfucking money
00:22:19And then that's I figured if I can't have you no one will
00:22:25I
00:22:33Mean what's going on?
00:22:40Bitch
00:22:43I'll find her
00:22:46And I'm gonna kill her
00:22:48Fucking full moon or what? I mean, what the fuck is going on?
00:22:51You shouldn't have broke his little old heart like that sunshine, I'm an ass crack wouldn't be in this mess that wasn't for you
00:22:59mellowized I selfish which
00:23:02You ever consider cutting down on your crystal intake a bit
00:23:12We're here we're safe everything is cool
00:23:16Jordan I just want to go home and free this whole entire nightmare
00:23:20It's alright Amy really in the morning. We'll figure it all out
00:23:28Okay
00:23:31Yeah, sure
00:23:37Let me get ready for bed
00:23:40Okay
00:23:42Brush your teeth boy turn in otherwise
00:23:44You'll have cheese breath
00:23:54I
00:23:56Get the feeling Amy doesn't like me very much
00:23:59Don't take it personal Lex
00:24:02She's just a little
00:24:05Aloof to get to know her
00:24:14I
00:24:44I
00:24:47I
00:25:11Never seen a tattoo there before
00:25:17I
00:25:19Touch it
00:25:22Go ahead
00:25:25Indulge
00:25:40I'm gonna vacuum your tongue right out of your face
00:25:46I
00:26:16I
00:26:47Where is she where's my little dandelion flower
00:26:53Tell me where she is or you're gonna have a mangled stump in place of that fairy face ears
00:27:03Tell me where she is you fucking slimy piece of queer bitch, I'm right here love bucket
00:27:09A
00:27:14Pearly dew drops drops I've missed you so much my darling
00:27:26You know I can never live without you my pumpkins I've dreamed is this moment for months
00:27:39Come on my pants
00:27:48Please please don't leave me again
00:28:09I ever feel like reality is more twisted than dreams
00:28:39Oh
00:28:56What is with you do you have to kill someone every fucking time we stop the car
00:29:00Well, pardon me for rescuing your ingrained ass twice in the same night. I don't care about anything
00:29:06Do you you have no guilt no remorse you murdered two people tonight doesn't that faze you at all?
00:29:13Yeah
00:29:14I'm bummed
00:29:17to the max
00:29:19It's not like I've never done it before excuse me
00:29:24How many people of you just a few and all of them deserved it boy they wore a uniform
00:29:33Like my first
00:29:35This ugly salve a parking cop. You know they're all for themselves, and I got this fucking badge, and I think they're all bad
00:29:43Well this one lord ass tickets me for being the red zone more than like 10 seconds
00:29:49So I'm in the street arguing with her, and she's just smiling away right yeah
00:29:54I grabbed the bitch by a kinky fro and I started pounding her head on the hood of her nice white
00:29:59Parking pig mobile, and then I slammed the door on her skull a bunch of times until she was dead
00:30:07Lamorte
00:30:08History God would you take a reality pill still got a scar?
00:30:16Teeth marks where the bitch bit me
00:30:22I'd tell you this cops. They're like goddamn savage animals
00:30:29I
00:31:00Some nachos
00:31:14That'll be 666
00:31:20All hail the coffee and cigarette
00:31:25Where's my change drop dead dunghead
00:31:30No life is a chewy shit sandwich well
00:31:36Well now
00:31:38Go pet me some zagna part one fuck you
00:31:42You already have what?
00:31:44You are such the prick
00:31:48That's not exactly phrased it last night
00:31:59I
00:32:15He's a liar you know that don't you
00:32:19Doesn't matter even if I did get together with him, and this isn't saying I did or anything, but if I did
00:32:26You know that it wouldn't actually mean anything. I mean you know that. I really only love you, right
00:32:36Whatever
00:32:47Wish we could just ditch him someplace Jordan. Just get rid of them forget he ever existed
00:32:52I
00:32:56Mean sort of like us
00:33:01Lost
00:33:03Like he doesn't fit in
00:33:07Scares me Jordan like I don't know what it is. There's something evil
00:33:17Don't be a corner
00:33:20Come on
00:33:21Finish your breakfast
00:33:24Then let's get me some clothes
00:33:26Feel like a fucking frat boy in this toga
00:33:29I
00:33:48Be right back
00:33:50I
00:33:57What's with you you act like somebody ate your pet hamster
00:34:01Well duh
00:34:03I'm so pissed at you. I can rip your testicles off and staple them to your ankles
00:34:08Fuck did you have to go and tell Jordan for?
00:34:12Tell him what?
00:34:14What do you think doorknob that we got together?
00:34:17Well didn't you utterly dig it that is not the point
00:34:21Well, what is the point then get it guilt is for married old people
00:34:28You're incredible you weren't even human are you
00:34:32You're like a life-support system for a cock
00:34:36This is so fucking chair look at this thing, I mean check it out
00:34:47Oh, can I be my guest
00:35:10Fucking belt don't turn out over it hi
00:35:16Dad it's me
00:35:20I'm uh sort of taking a little vacation with Amy right now and uh
00:35:29Fucking machine hung up on me
00:35:40I'm thirsty
00:35:46Oh
00:36:10So what'll it be shit
00:36:16Jordan listen to me for a second and forget about that
00:36:28It's a national emergency
00:36:32Jordan would you kindly pull your head out of your rectal region?
00:36:38We're accessories to two homicides does not concern you in the fucking least
00:36:46Kitten kitten is that you Oh God?
00:36:53Don't you recognize me it's me
00:36:59Brandy
00:37:00You're eternal love slave your slave
00:37:04Look lady. I don't know who you are, but I just I shot you full of dope and brainwashed you like all the others
00:37:09You're high aren't you?
00:37:11Okay, it's me. It's me. Okay. It's me. I
00:37:15Know she like I can I can smell your perfume
00:37:26Right and he told you
00:37:30Don't fret don't fret Randy's here. I'll save you from this Eden
00:37:38I'm gonna lop his dick off
00:37:43Like a chicken head I can't leave you guys alone for a minute
00:38:13I'm sorry. I'm so sorry
00:38:20It was her it was
00:38:33Veg
00:38:38I'm gonna find her
00:38:41And then I'm gonna kill her
00:38:48Line here like two spoons stacked in a drawer. I
00:38:53Hope we die simultaneously
00:38:56Like in a fiery car
00:39:00Nuclear bomb blast or something
00:39:06You're so romantic
00:39:10No for reals, I don't ever want to have to miss you
00:39:25Your boat can lay down the stream
00:39:37Merrily merrily
00:39:40merrily
00:39:46Life is but a dream
00:40:01Don't you think sex is totally strange just the whole idea of it
00:40:09It's a tube of flesh it's stiff and inserted in these
00:40:16warm squishy places I
00:40:21Think maybe it's more powerful than we'd like it to be
00:40:27It's fucking trippy that's for sure
00:40:35It's kind of like eating spaghetti
00:40:38I
00:40:50Were so great
00:40:57Hey, that reminds me
00:41:02I'm hungry. You're always hungry
00:41:05Hungry
00:41:07It's cuz I'm a growing boy I
00:41:12Think I'm gonna walk down the am-pm and get some shrimp nuggets or something
00:41:18anything
00:41:20More cigarettes
00:41:23Yes, Tara
00:41:32Hey
00:41:35I
00:41:45Love you fucker you too fucker
00:42:05I
00:42:30What you watching
00:42:35I
00:42:48Want to play a game
00:42:52I'm gonna start counting
00:42:54You crack a smile before I get to eight. I get to strangle you if you don't I
00:43:02Have to do anything you say
00:43:05I
00:43:07All right
00:43:17One
00:43:19Two
00:43:22Three
00:43:24Four five
00:43:29Six
00:43:32Seven
00:43:34Seven and a half you in
00:43:43Good
00:44:05I
00:44:15Will take this to
00:44:22666
00:44:34I
00:44:36What's Jordan's like
00:44:38What you know his in gorge member is?
00:44:43Tumescent love miss was robbing purple meat scepter
00:44:50Why do you want to know I don't know I'm curious
00:44:56I
00:45:03What do you mean it's fine
00:45:07Is it the size of Vienna sausage or like a baby's arm
00:45:12Is it cut is it uncut does it lean to the left does it lean to the right?
00:45:19Does it go in the southeastern way direction?
00:45:21Is it curved is it straight is it
00:45:51I
00:46:21I
00:46:51I
00:47:21You know just cuz he and I
00:47:29It doesn't mean I'm really like all that
00:47:51I
00:48:17This is the currency we've linked to the December 17th quickie mark
00:48:21Robbery homicide in Tarzana the suspects a paramilitary brigade of free youths
00:48:28Appear to be on a freewheeling crime spree heading north
00:48:32We've run a fingerprint check through the mother computer in DC and thus far by being one of the suspects
00:48:38Amy blue age 18 I
00:48:42find one way 92 pounds eyes hazel hair brown
00:48:48cumulative SAT score
00:48:50Six hundred sixty-six
00:48:57Should be considered armed and dangerous
00:49:04Gentlemen I want you to find her and if necessary kill her
00:49:21Oh
00:49:30Wait till I brush my teeth
00:49:38You know what
00:49:43This is the first time we've ever slept together and woken up together
00:49:49And we will bet I mean
00:49:53You're the bright red cherry on top of my Sunday
00:50:07Right aside monkey butt
00:50:18I
00:50:20I
00:50:50Stump to a bloody lump
00:50:54What are two homos gabbing about now
00:50:58By there you ever done it with an ammo what I've either you've ever had sex with the now just you
00:51:07ha ha ha
00:51:10This song always reminds me of scooter scooter
00:51:14It's like my best friend all through high school
00:51:18One day he brought a gun to physics class and told everyone he was gonna shoot himself in the bathroom
00:51:23He did it's always depressed. I mean always pulling shit like that. It's nobody believed him
00:51:31That's funny
00:51:34Like at first it's all weird and you're all bummed in shit
00:51:39Like this person used to hanging out with all of a sudden doesn't like exist anymore
00:51:44Existing
00:51:46You just get over it move on
00:51:50It's almost for the past I mean scooter was so sad all the time
00:51:55Me and him used to sit in my room getting stoned listening to the Smiths
00:52:01Like he was over the night before he killed himself
00:52:04Right in the middle of unlovable. He just started crying like crazy
00:52:09Really in the Smiths
00:52:14Hey, remember the time we lost my mom's car
00:52:21We were so trash
00:52:30Around and around
00:52:32We can find the fucking things save our life
00:52:35We finally ended up taking a cab home
00:52:39Which you puked in which you puked in
00:52:43Oh
00:53:04Fuck
00:53:12I
00:53:42Don't know something. What do I look like a fucking veterinarian?
00:53:58What are you doing?
00:54:12Oh
00:54:38The world sucks
00:54:42I
00:55:04Wish I could crawl in here and disappear forever
00:55:06I
00:55:16Miss my records
00:55:22Well, well well men looky here check out that hot tight bubble butt George, I'll stop Dan
00:55:28I'm gonna pop a boner. Hey sailor like you pretty earrings
00:55:33Leave him alone Pat. Can't you see he's a shy sensitive flower? Hey, yes
00:55:40What's going on here man? No way can't be
00:55:47Bambi
00:55:51Fuck
00:55:53It's me George
00:55:55Oops
00:55:57You're snuggly bear
00:55:58Look smegma breath. I don't know the fuck you think I am. Well, you just do me a favor and evacuates
00:56:11Abby Abby, please
00:56:25I
00:56:43Think it someone made the bed
00:56:50I was hoping I'd catch crabs or something
00:56:56I
00:57:06Just lonely boring dumb
00:57:14Jordan you want heads or tails, huh?
00:57:19Heads or tails
00:57:22Whatever
00:57:27Heads tails
00:57:36Heads
00:57:43Well
00:57:52There any more beer in the trunk
00:58:05Have fun
00:58:07Oh
00:58:20Snoopy Snoopy smokey doobie
00:58:38You're off the bat don't tell me you hogged all the brewski
00:59:01Go for it boy. Oh
00:59:07Hey X
00:59:12Do you like slam-dancing
00:59:14It's all right
00:59:16except you get someone's elbow in your eye or
00:59:19steel-toed boot in your crotch
00:59:24Why
00:59:28Have you ever I mean
00:59:31Does it like all those bodies all that sweating and pushing and shoving
00:59:41Does it give me a hard-on
00:59:48Yeah, always
01:00:01I
01:00:09Better
01:00:14Yeah
01:00:26Hey X
01:00:31Do you ever wonder what the meaning of our existence is
01:00:37Huh
01:00:40You ever wonder why we exist
01:00:44No
01:00:47What for
01:00:53No reason
01:01:01I
01:01:31Oh
01:02:01Ah shit
01:02:06What is it I got a pee right now
01:02:14I don't want to get up and out of the fucking freezing cold. You know nature calls it fucking hollers
01:02:21Hey
01:02:23Just go ahead and let it rip. That's so vile and beastly can't believe any human being could even conceive of it
01:02:31Jeez little miss Polly pure heart
01:02:36You are a demon from hell
01:02:46Girls have no sense of adventure
01:02:53I guess
01:02:55Oh
01:03:13Dirty perverted scum
01:03:16Make me see red
01:03:19World will be a pure place when they're both dead
01:03:25Thanks
01:03:27Shut up
01:03:46Amy
01:03:55Oh
01:04:10Please fire up our favorite song
01:04:25Oh
01:04:55For that
01:05:05Be patient, honey, you'll get yours
01:05:15Don't you talk about my mother like that
01:05:26Oh
01:05:31You
01:05:33You like
01:05:35filthy fucking
01:05:36Sluts, you're gonna watch me
01:05:39Help your little fairy boy toy
01:05:43Shuffle off this mortal coil
01:05:45Kiss your work
01:06:04Any last words
01:06:45You
01:07:15You
01:07:45You
01:08:03You want a Dorito
01:08:15You
01:08:45You
01:09:15You
01:09:45You
01:10:15You
01:10:45You
01:11:15You
01:11:45You