Fred's Head - Fred TV
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FunTranscript
00:00Oh
00:02Oh
00:28Goodness
00:30Mother stop snooping around my room
01:00I
01:02I
01:04I
01:07I
01:29Wasn't snooping my fingers barely touched anything. I was just trying to arrange your socks
01:33Would you like me to go snooping in your drawers? Please don't go into my bedside table Oh sunshine
01:38I just want to get to know you better two words private life
01:43But it's not normal for a teen not to tell his mom everything. Oh, I'll tell you one thing
01:53What is that
01:55Fred
01:56Zoe waters, I work on a hot new TV reality show called a pubescent boys universe
02:03I sent it an application and we were chosen. You didn't think to ask my opinion. Hmm
02:08Don't you know that reality TV is out?
02:11This pubescent boy is going you can keep the universe
02:19When I held him in my arms for the very first time it was like I finally understood what childbirth was about I
02:25Remember, he told me he felt like he had stretch marks on his soul
02:31Right
02:32Now I would like to take this opportunity to speak directly to all teens
02:36You are largely responsible for the lack of communication in the family. Stop telling your parents that they are always in the room
02:48That's a strange-looking metal are you part of some cult ah this I
02:53Want volunteer of the year for the work I do with golden agers, isn't that right madam butterfly
02:59I couldn't tell you all my geezer friends are dead
03:10Can I help you could you please tell me something fun I haven't gotten anything good all day
03:17What do you expect you won't get anything extraordinary from a boring family your friends then are they boring?
03:24Hmm
03:28Huh, I think not I get along best with people who are a little on the strange side
03:33Surprising. That's the reason I love Gregory Gilbert and Fabienne
03:43Dad the beast is marking his territory again. Come here, please
03:48Fred
03:51It's like an outcast who's antisocially integrated sounds good
03:56Oh
04:13That's her she's beautiful and glowing like a hospital delivery room
04:18Is this reality TV or an in-depth probe of people's opinion of me? I think we learned some interesting details
04:24Well, I'm starting to find this project of yours a bit intrusive go find yourself another guinea pig
04:29I don't have time we air this tonight
04:32My dream has been to make a hard-hitting documentary for the big screen before I can do that
04:37I've got to prove myself by doing these TV shows. This could be the breakthrough
04:41I need you won't have a hard time finding someone else
04:44There are plenty of people who want to be famous for doing nothing on camera
04:47Yeah, but you I find you very intelligent sharp-witted really different my career is at stake Fred
04:55Could you give us a minute, please?
05:01Let her do her job in peace, I would hate it if some blase teenager ruined my hopes for a film career
05:18Oh
05:20Fred tell me about your love life
05:33Actually, I don't really have one right now you're telling me that not one girl in the school interests you
05:39No, not really I
05:42Don't believe you do you have hormonal problems? No hidden love no dirty thoughts or secret fantasies
05:52Excuse me, I've got an appointment with a basketball and a bunch of hormonal guys
06:00Everything's going smoothly boss. It's exactly what I wanted very shocking and very revealing. I better finish the editing. Bye. I
06:07I
06:09Get along best with people who are a little on the strange side surprising. That's the reason I love Gregory Gilbert and Fabien
06:20The strange side surprising that's the reason I love
06:24Oh
06:36Joy
06:37The mother Carol Schwartz was wearing the prize. She won for being volunteer of the year obsessed with this honor
06:43She's blind to the emotional strife that troubles her son. She has not seen his inner turmoil. I love Gregory Gilbert
06:52I love Gregory Gilbert. I love Gregory Gilbert. I love Gregory Gilbert
07:05What do we do, I don't know well, this would be the ideal time to know I know
07:11Poor friend keeping this hidden for such a long time. It's your fault. Why is it my fault?
07:17Oh, do you think this is the right time to argue about this? We must stay calm
07:21He needs all our love right now
07:31Was it that bad
07:35What's going on
07:40Fred my son
07:41I don't know why you chose to hide it from us
07:43But it came as quite a shock to hear about something so personal by way of the television
07:47My poor sunshine you didn't need to keep this a secret for so long
07:55What what's going on
07:59Stay tuned next time for more of Fred's troubled and tumultuous love life. I love Gregory Gilbert
08:07Are you ready to talk about it? But she's taken it out of context. What I said was that I loved him as a friend
08:13You didn't believe that but but of course we believed it the whole world will believe it it's called reality TV
08:26There she is miss ethics in the flesh Fred I am really sorry it happens it was an editing mistake
08:34Listen, I want to help you set the record straight
08:37But to do that it means that you'll have to take part in the taping of our next episode a second episode
08:42Is that the one where we find out that I'm pregnant?
08:45I
08:57Mean did you see what you look like?
09:00Listen Chico, um, your sexual orientation doesn't bother me Benji
09:05But you got to tell me why of all people you chose Gregory Gilbert could have picked someone with I don't know bigger pectoral
09:15I
09:17Think it's time. We had a very old conversation far away from prying ears
09:24Buddy now I understand why you pretended to be in love with Annette and that is unapproachable unattainable
09:32inaccessible GG
09:34Pretending to be condemned to eternal celibacy. You had no reason to divulge your secret
09:38But the reality television and expectedly destroyed this fragile facade of yours. You're not serious
09:44Are you don't you see that show manipulated reality to get better ratings?
09:52You know, I love you buddy, I love you so much
09:59Hello GG I am NOT gay is that clear
10:04Whoo, you making passes at GG. I laughed so hard when I saw that show yesterday, not me
10:12Come on, no need for a big song and dance. Why does it bother you so much?
10:16It wouldn't bother me if I was but I'm not
10:20Pedonize it, but now I can see clearly I have always admired his fashion sense
10:25Not to mention his love of Siamese cats flat parsley raspberry juice and useless objects
10:31All these signs are there, but I didn't see them
10:34No more cameras following you
10:37No
10:39Did you watch a pubescent boys universe last night, I'm not a big fan of reality television
10:48You gave me the courage to finally confide in my parents we should all accept ourselves as we are and face our prejudices
10:56Thanks
10:58By the way, my name is Rudolph
11:01Oh
11:04I get it. Now. I must say I was a little surprised when you said you weren't interested in any girl at school, but now
11:12It must have been a heavy burden to carry you can breathe easier
11:17I'm happy for you
11:30Moldy
11:34We have totally accepted our son
11:36Totally Fred is my sunshine and it doesn't matter to me in what direction his ray aims
11:43Raise, of course. I meant to say raise
11:48You little swine you stop her I'll throw you out we should seriously consider an operation
12:03Oh
12:11Little Fred, he cannot think straight cuz Gigi will go out with him
12:19Don't let them cause you pain. In fact, the problem is not with you. It's me
12:25Gigi will you stop with that turn off the TV and turn on your brain?
12:34I
12:36Understand everything now and I assure you I will stop trying to set you up with girl fine by me
12:41No, it'll have to be guys
12:44I'm redecorating my room
12:46You people are good at that. I hear what choice of colors should I go with?
12:50Oh, I would go with a combination of green gray brown and salmon, but make sure they're pastel
12:55Oh, yeah, my room is gonna be so chic
13:00Oh, I knew that my pre-judging would serve me one day
13:17I'm warning you if I give you mouth-to-mouth. It's purely out of manly friendship
13:21I
13:27Can't believe it Rudolph asked me for my phone number. What is your problem? You just tell him you're not interested
13:34That's all anyway. I'm the one Fred is madly in love with not him. Yes, it's true
13:38We won't be rolling around in the breadcrumbs of carnal felicity, but just the same he should respect his feelings
13:43Hey, is anybody listening to me? I'm not interested in guys
13:48I am just not like that like what it's not a disease, you know, no, but I'm sick of being called it when I'm not
13:55I thought you were better than that. And if there's something I can't tolerate it's intolerance Gigi stop the car
14:06You've been so scared to lose face that now well, it's a friend you're losing adios and good riddance
14:11You
14:15Lost a friend and I adore
14:20It's true I am a bit like a grandmother to Fred
14:28Fred it's better if we don't see each other for a long and painful time
14:32I'm still trying to get used to the fact that you'll never marry a beautiful damsel wearing a white gown with an 8-meter train
14:38You
14:40You're a friend and I a friend and two doors
14:47Stop ignoring me. I can't tell you enough how sorry I am about this. I fired the film editor. How's your day going?
14:56I've lost my two best friends and the whole world thinks I'm gay apart from that. It's peachy. I really screwed up
15:02Let me try to set the straight
15:05Oh
15:06Okay, I'll be in one more episode one to tell everyone the truth on condition that I see the show before you air it
15:26Why is this called reality television when you've gone and changed my reality, where are your limits?
15:31The one thing that is really real is that I'm not gay and that you lied to make your TV show more appealing you
15:37Manipulate the film and your public
15:42I
15:46Think reality came up and slapped her in the face and I don't think she liked it very much
15:50I'm so happy for you. My boy Paul. You're so in denial
15:54You just can't accept our son the way he is
15:57So you're ready to believe anything as long as it sounds sincere
16:00I would have made an appointment for you with an eminee worry not but she's not available
16:12You're the one that needs help mom you think everything you see on TV is real
16:16Well, I just so happen to have proof. I found this in the back of your dress
16:19I told you not to go through my things. I was putting away your undies
16:23When I first saw you at school my heart began to beat so loudly
16:28I thought it would explode into a whirlpool of black and white stripes. I love you my sweet and it's signed
16:34Gigi anyway, that explains why he dresses like you. I
16:38Remembered that letter. I got it years ago. Gigi is for Gloria Garcia. She sent it to me in grade eight
16:45Dear now, he's making up imaginary Gloria Garcia's
16:52Fred it's Zoey. The broadcast has been pushed ahead because my boss wants to make it into a two-hour special
16:59So I'm afraid we aren't going to have time to watch it together first. It starts in two minutes
17:05Hello
17:08Mother turn on the TV
17:15Oh
17:18You little swine you stop or I'll throw you out we should seriously consider an operation
17:25We also have other disturbing revelations about this family who in the beginning seemed to be harmless and so innocuous
17:32Do you think they'll free you soon? I couldn't tell you. I'm like this
17:44Oh
17:55Don't worry Firefly, no one's gonna believe that of course they will that's why it's called reality TV
18:01Hmm
18:10You're horrible human beings treating an old lady like a slave and throwing your own son out on the street because he's gay I
18:17Thought the police did a thorough investigation before arresting people. You watch too many movies son. Don't believe everything you see on TV
18:28Just like in the movies
18:31I have cleaning to go for mrs. Carol. If I don't I'll have to walk on broken glass again. They tortured her too
18:38Mmm, I can't look anymore
18:40Mrs. Gentile is the president of the Volunteers Association. She'll confirm to you that this has all been a terrible misunderstanding
18:47Understanding
18:56Everything's gonna be alright, you'll see you won't have to do a thing social services will take charge
19:00You'll finally have a chance to spread your wings in a loving stimulating environment
19:12Can I make a phone call
19:18I'm sure that's gonna work. What did you say to the producer to make him change his mind?
19:23Oh, nothing much just that I would sue him in the highest court for invasion of privacy emotional trauma and psychological damage
19:31That's gonna cost them
19:33Sorry about yesterday. I didn't mean to blow a gasket
19:40I'm happy to hear the truth is finally out
19:42I'm relieved to know that all the misunderstandings have been cleared up your pure feral friendship has been sorely missed
19:57Dear TV audience it is with profound sadness that I announced that the series of pubescent boys universe has been dropped by the network
20:05Everything that was revealed in the last two episodes was false
20:08The LeBlanc family is in fact a loving family bland and scandal-free and with a boring heterosexual son
20:16Sounds good to me
20:18If I misled you about these people, it was only to liven up what would have been boring TV
20:24The public must know that we aren't proud of everything we put on the screen
20:27Would you please find it in your hearts to forgive me if my actions resulted in any negative repercussions my producers
20:35I assure you had your interests at heart. They have already proposed that I head up a new project called
20:42Unbelievable scandals you can catch it on your favorite reality channel. Hey better not miss that
21:05Yeah a message to you from Gregory Gilbert
21:10Bosom buddy and friend. I hope you won't love me to the end. Come on find someone else forget about me
21:18Consider Rudolph. I hear he's free
21:21Respect I'm sorry. I'm very flattered but not really interested
21:30Come on Rudolph, let's go get a coffee
21:36I forgot to cancel the singing telegram
21:42Even when TV has nothing to say it makes a point of telling us
22:05You
22:35You