Fred's Head - Half-Fried Herrings
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00One last one another last one
00:31One more last one
00:48Ta-da!
00:50Meow!
01:21Faces without wrinkles
01:24Express something on their own
01:30Can't move
01:33Too much
01:35Lips and eyebrows
01:40So, pal of mine, are you officially dating the beautiful Tamara, yes or no?
01:45Well...
01:46I really don't know.
01:48You just have to know so that I can finally predict a glorious future for you
01:52full of wedding bouquets, mortgages, and a beautiful leather-bound agenda!
02:00Tell us! Are you dating Fred or are you not dating Fred?
02:03I really don't know.
02:06You just have to know so that I can finally plan all our movie nights,
02:10which restaurants to go to, and the boutiques we'll hit as a double couple!
02:15Ow!
02:16Ow!
02:19Hmm...
02:24Oh, I'm so sick of always eating the same thing!
02:27Why don't we make pasta?
02:29How is that different?
02:34I mean fresh pasta with a homemade touch.
02:37Fresh pasta? Oh, my pookie!
02:41With a tangy new sauce that's ultra-spicy.
02:44You're incredibly adventurous and risky.
02:47You're making me crazy today, Paul.
02:49And why not use Romano instead of the same old Parmesan?
02:54Sometimes you must wonder how you found yourself living with a family of weirdos.
03:01I think I have an idea.
03:03Quick, tell us before it gets away.
03:05I'm going to organize a pool party.
03:07You should always see a guy in a bathing suit before you decide to go out with him.
03:12Fred in a Speedo?
03:15It's true, not all guys have perfect muscular physique like my Benji-poo.
03:20Come on, there's more to a guy than the size of his pecs.
03:23Yeah, you're right. Nice teeth are also super important.
03:30Vitamin C really stings the eyes!
03:45You know what I've been thinking?
03:47If I wasn't already going out with Benji, I would really want to go out with him.
03:52I don't understand how Fred passed the bathing suit test.
03:55He looks like a stalk of rhubarb.
03:57That's not what's important here.
03:59After all, I'm not the one going out with him.
04:01And he'll be fully dressed whenever we double-date with him.
04:08Fred at a party at Penelope's just to see Tamara.
04:11Fred at a party at Penelope's just to see Tamara.
04:14It must be true, love.
04:17These are great hamburgers, Gigi.
04:19The secret is to let the blood rise to the surface of the burger
04:22and then you turn them to the rhythm of the music,
04:25which makes for happy, juicy hamburgers!
04:28Yee-hoo! Woo-hoo! Yeah!
04:39Gregory Gilbert Pyroski, expert in barbecuing and meat preparation,
04:42including freeze-dried and smoked.
04:45Uh, Sophie, I'm Jodi's sister.
04:48I don't believe we've ever met.
04:50If we had, your beauty would have burned an everlasting imprint on my psyche.
04:55I don't live here. I live with my mom.
04:58Really? Is there something on your mind?
05:01I wanted to go to a friend's house in the Laurentians, but my dad wouldn't take me.
05:05Hey!
05:09Fred, this is gonna sound weird, but I was just wondering if we are, um...
05:16Well, I was wondering the same.
05:25Mmm.
05:27Wow! It's official!
05:30You guys are finally a couple!
05:32You just totally aced the cold shower test!
05:36We are going to do so much double dating, it's gonna be so fierce!
05:41But first, I should let you have one date all alone.
05:44Wow. Thank you.
05:48It would be great to celebrate our first date.
05:50Sounds good.
05:51There's a new restaurant opening up.
05:54It's a bit pricey, but it's great for a special occasion.
05:57You wanna go tomorrow?
05:59Don't look at me like that, Fred LeBlanc.
06:02I'm not expecting you to pay for me.
06:12It's like a whole new beginning for us, Paul.
06:15One with spicy arrabiata.
06:18Another contraption that'll end up in my collection of the unloved.
06:22Mmm. Uh...
06:24Dad, can I get some cash?
06:26This has been a recording.
06:28Here, it's your allowance for the week.
06:30Uh, you think I might be able to get a few months advance?
06:33You already got a three-week advance, Fred.
06:36It's for dinner with the girl.
06:38Paul! Dinner with a girl?
06:42He's finally got himself a girlfriend!
06:44But we can't allow our boy to get into debt. What will that teach him?
06:47Anxiety? And stress? Irresponsible spending?
06:51Collection agencies repossessing his belongings?
06:53Our sunshine living on the streets with winter coming?
06:56Oh, my word, Paul. I think you might be right.
06:59Relax. It's a tiny little loan.
07:01It's no.
07:14A thousand dollars each?
07:16Here's the dough.
07:18It would appear I'm about $995 short.
07:22Mister, please, don't make Fred wash all the dishes.
07:26I'll be so humiliated.
07:28Yeah.
07:35Thanks. I appreciate your support.
07:39Spread out the flour over a flat terrain.
07:42In order to add egg and lubricant, dig a small well.
07:46Allow the pasta to sleep before attempting to insert it through the machine.
07:55This makes my heart bleed like a pig on a spit.
07:58But I must say, no, good old pal of mine, we're not hiring at the present time.
08:03Moldy, what do I do now?
08:05A good relationship is based on honesty, you know?
08:08One day you claim to have a little nest egg.
08:10The next, an offshore oil account.
08:12Until finally you find yourself walking the streets in a blonde wig and stilettos to earn a little cash on the side.
08:16Tell her the truth.
08:26Tamara, I have something to tell you.
08:29Okay, but first...
08:36I gotta run. I'm going shopping with the girls for some beauty products.
08:39I want to be pretty for you on our first date together. I'm so psyched.
08:43Me too.
08:48Moldy.
08:49Oh, yeah. What did you want to tell me?
08:53Uh, can't remember.
09:03I'm not sure it should be this sticky. What do they say to do next?
09:07Wrap an invisible paper or bowl, then roll around with rough hands while pounding repeatedly.
09:13Oh, that sounds pleasant.
09:15So, do I start making room in my collection?
09:23Where are you going, Gregory Gilbert Perosky?
09:26I have an important meeting, mother dear.
09:28You're forgetting that today's the day we have the big heavy sales.
09:31Oh, no.
09:32Business before pleasure, my little tadpole delight.
09:36Oh.
09:38Ooh.
09:41Hello?
09:42Fred, I have to take the foxiest thing on two legs back to the Laurentians.
09:45I need a replacement at the shop and I'll pay you out of my own salary.
09:48Top dollar. Mother dear is holding the cash in her pocket.
09:52Gigi, I don't think I tell you this enough. I love you.
10:00The moment of reckoning has come.
10:05Hmm?
10:07If sticky pasta continues, flour adds to unstick pasta.
10:24I don't think this pumpkin's going to turn into a horse-drawn carriage.
10:29And the frog won't turn into a prince.
10:31But I don't mind. I'm not going to the ball.
10:35Mm-hmm.
10:40Let me give quick explanation of our famous selling technique.
10:46This is our magnificent fresh herring costume.
10:50Uh, and what exactly do you expect me to do with that thing?
10:54Well, you put it on, then you prance around happily in front of the shop.
10:58That will attract a lot of clients.
11:00I... I can't do that.
11:02My beloved son assured me that you would take his place.
11:05We have an enormous amount of fresh herring to sell.
11:08If we don't sell them while they are fresh,
11:10then we are stuck with an enormous amount of herring that is not fresh.
11:14It smells!
11:15I'm sorry, but...
11:16Would you like some bison oil lip gloss, please?
11:20I'm just so excited. My first romantic dinner with friends.
11:26That restaurant's expensive. You sure the beanpole can afford it?
11:29He's probably looking for an excuse to back out.
11:31I never asked him if he could afford that place.
11:34Oh, shoot! It's bad enough that he doesn't have muscles, but he's also broke?
11:39Poor me. That means we won't be going on as many double dates.
12:02Huh?
12:07Fresh herring for sale. Fresh herring for sale.
12:14Finally!
12:15Wow, they're perfecto! Now that's spaghetti!
12:18It's supposed to be fettuccine!
12:20Let's settle for linguine.
12:22Si, mi amore!
12:25Mi amore!
12:36Fresh herring for sale.
12:38Si.
12:39The herring's a herring.
12:41The taste of the fishy.
12:50Your birthmark is a thing of unparalleled beauty, my dear Sophie.
12:55Do you like meat?
12:57Ugh, no. I'm vegetarian.
13:03Fresh herring for sale.
13:07Fresh herring for sale.
13:10Huh?
13:23Why don't you watch where you're going?
13:25I didn't do it on purpose.
13:26Maybe, but you weren't paying attention.
13:28But if I didn't do it on purpose, how was I supposed to know to pay attention?
13:31Is that the best excuse you can come up with?
13:33No, but you didn't give me much time to think.
13:36I will certainly never ever set foot in a store that hires someone so incompetent and unglued.
13:45You must be more welcoming, dear best friend of my little sugar dumpling.
13:50If not, it would break my heart to tell you that you will lose your entire salary.
13:57Fresh herring in a stew is the best way to say I love you.
14:01Come get your fresh herring, on sale today only.
14:04Please!
14:12Hello?
14:13Good evening. This is Dr. Hartman, Tamara's father.
14:16I believe she's going out with her son, Fred.
14:19It's Fred's father-in-law? A doctor?
14:22Good evening, my good sir.
14:25Our children are going to a restaurant tonight.
14:27Their relationship sounds serious.
14:30It would be prudent for us to meet and get acquainted.
14:33Oh, pardon me. I hope I'm not calling at an inconvenient moment.
14:36Of course not. I just finished making my fresh pasta.
14:41From scratch, I might add.
14:43Oh, I love Italian food.
14:46Why don't we invite them for dinner?
14:48Oh, how nice of you. We'll be there in 20 minutes.
14:50What the hell is the matter with you?
14:52Calm down, mia farfalla. It's butterfly in Italian.
14:56Forget the farfallas! I've got to go to the market!
15:04Tell me, do you like children?
15:07I don't know.
15:18That's fish! My savior! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
15:23Uh, no sweat, Ma.
15:29Who are you?
15:32Hello?
15:33Fred, we have to cancel our dinner tonight.
15:35Huh? But why?
15:36Your mom invited my parents for dinner and they want me to go with them.
15:39You can't be serious.
15:41The last thing I want to do is spend the evening with my parents.
15:44Well, me neither. I gotta go. They're ready to leave. See you soon.
15:48This isn't happening.
15:51Moldy!
15:58Cheese, cheese, cheese!
16:01I can't stand polka music.
16:12Quick! Cut up some green beans!
16:16Well, hi! Come in, come in.
16:28I decided, instead of serving pasta,
16:31I'd let myself be inspired by some fresh produce from the market.
16:36Lovely.
16:38I like to call this dish Fountain of Herring,
16:42Fountain of Herring, served in a garden of green beans.
16:46Charming.
16:48Did you buy this herring at the clown shop?
16:51Personally, I'm never setting foot in there again.
16:54Their employees are grossly lacking in good manners.
16:58You'll find the Perovskis are lovely. Don't you think, Sunshine?
17:02Absolutely, Mom.
17:04Hmm. Maybe it's deja vu, but I think I've heard your voice before.
17:08Hmm?
17:13Thank you.
17:15Will we see each other again?
17:17I wouldn't bet on it.
17:19Hmm.
17:21Cancel the bouquet of imported sausages for Sophie,
17:24and the subscription to Baby Bloomers,
17:27and the compilation of 100 top polka hits.
17:30Ah!
17:35This is superb, my dear Carol.
17:37I had a feeling that a surgeon would appreciate this.
17:41A surgeon would appreciate a little incision in the presentation.
17:46Ugh.
17:48After the day I've had, I can't stand to be around the smell of fish.
18:01Now I recognize you. You're that hoodlum in a herring suit.
18:04Herring?
18:06Tamara, I forbid you to go out with the likes of him.
18:09You can't tell me who I can go out with?
18:11No, but I can decide who you won't go out with,
18:14and this boy fits the bill perfectly.
18:16I'll have you know my Sunshine is a good boy.
18:18A good boy? He assaulted me on the sidewalk.
18:22Oh, please, now, sweet, what's happening here?
18:25Come on, come on, calm down.
18:27I don't know anything about this herring story,
18:29but I forbid you to go out with a girl whose mother is so stubborn
18:32she won't let her daughter go out with whoever she wants.
18:36Why, cruel destiny, was she brought to me?
18:41My life is a prison and she holds the key.
18:44She inhabits my thoughts, both asleep and awake.
18:47Why does she torment me? Why, for Pete's sake,
18:51my tears fall like rain into love's lake.
18:58Your son, Nedim, accosted me on the sidewalk
19:02while he was dressed as a clown shop mascot.
19:05You? A mascot?
19:08Yes, I was the mascot. Yes, I was dressed as a herring.
19:12And I've never been so humiliated in all my life.
19:14And do you know why I did it?
19:16So I could earn enough money to go out with Tamara,
19:18because I knew it would make her happy.
19:20Aw.
19:22Aw.
19:24Aw.
19:26Meow.
19:28Ha! In your face, Hartman.
19:30Now, Butterfly.
19:32You are as rude as your hoodlum son.
19:34But, Sweetie Poo.
19:36Oh, my little cow chip, don't interfere.
19:38May I remind you that I too worked as a mascot in a steakhouse
19:41to pay for my studies, and if I hadn't done that,
19:43we would have never met,
19:45and you'd never be able to call me your little cow chip.
19:47Aw.
19:49Huh?
19:51My little cow chip.
19:53Paul, it's all so moving.
19:55I hope you'll never call me my little herring.
20:13Explain it to me, my loyal and trusted circle of friends.
20:17Why have I fallen so in love with this girl
20:19with whom I am as compatible as a herring is with strawberry jam?
20:25Tamara, I've invited your parents to dinner again.
20:28I'm making fresh pasta. Will you be joining us?
20:31I'd love to, but Fred and me are off to a restaurant.
20:34Another time, I suppose.
20:36That's it.
20:37What?
20:38Sophie, she has a gorgeous birthmark on her hand.
20:41It's the color of ground beef.
20:43That would explain why the moment I saw her,
20:45my eyes were glued to her like flies on a cow pie.
20:48Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
20:50That's romance for you, a la Perosky.
20:52Oh!
20:53What's wrong, Mia Farfalla?
20:55Just look at my penne. It looks like pigeon poop.
20:58Mmm.
21:06Hmm?
21:07What a nice surprise.
21:09What are you guys doing here?
21:11It was a sign.
21:12My pasta machine is the newest item in your collection.
21:15Mom, this was supposed to be our romantic dinner.
21:18It's a romantic dinner for all of us.
21:20Have you two never done this?
21:22Go out on a triple date?
21:24On second thought, we'll take it to go.
21:28Bon appétit.
21:29Thank you.
21:32Mmm.
21:43Always be polite to strangers.
21:46They might end up being your in-laws.
22:01¶¶
22:31¶¶