Shades of Comparison: Unpacking its Impact || Acharya Prashant, IIT-Hyderabad (2024)

Acharya Prashant

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Transcript

00:00Hello, sir. So, my name is Pradeep. I am 30 years student from IIT, Hyderabad. So, my

00:15question is, in spite of being told that we shouldn't compare ourselves with others, it's

00:21told that everyone is different and they have their own journey. But still we tend to compare.

00:27I have seen my friends, my other colleagues. So, people tend to compare themselves with

00:33others, even with the people who don't even know them personally. So, my question is,

00:38how to train our mind not to compare ourselves with others? So, hope my question is clear.

00:49The question is clear. See, comparing yourself with others might be a secondary problem rather.

01:02The more fundamental thing is, do you really know where you stand and what you must be?

01:15That comparison is primal. And if to facilitate that comparison, you need to compare yourself

01:24with others. There is no harm in comparing yourself to others. But before any comparison

01:34with an external entity, first of all, there has to be an internal evaluation. Where do

01:43I stand? Where do I stand? And am I happy with myself? So, it's a comparison of yourself

01:49versus yourself. Let's say, let's say you are sick and the others are almost dying.

02:07Does that really satisfy you? Does that heal your sickness? Comparatively, you are better,

02:15but does that help you? It won't, right? So, comparisons might serve a purpose, but they

02:24are rather peripheral. The first thing is to ask yourself, am I healthy? How do I compare

02:38my current state to my potential state of health? That inner comparison must come first.

02:48Are you getting it? And in the process of that inner comparison, sometimes it helps to see a

02:56healthy person outside of you. That healthy person reminds you of what you can be, what your own

03:03potential is. To that extent, comparing yourself with others is not such a big problem. But first

03:12of all, ask yourself, it doesn't matter where the others are. It doesn't matter what the world is

03:17doing. It doesn't matter how the world looks at me. It doesn't matter what kind of ranks I have

03:22in a comparative sense. Am I alright with myself? Because much before you live with anybody else,

03:31you have to live with yourself, no? You are the person you spend all your time with. Don't you?

03:44Yeah, it is correct. But one more thing, how we know that we are at the right place. So,

03:53if I'm at IIT, talking about professionally, so how I know if I'm getting a company and I'm happy

04:00with that, but is it the thing that where should I stop or where should I go more? And also one

04:08more thing, if I look at someone at the same age, same college, same thing, but he's doing something

04:17more than me, in terms of money he's earning more than me or he's physically more fit than me. So,

04:24that somewhere makes me low confident or maybe question myself, am I doing wrong or right? So,

04:34that is what I want. See, if you're not thirsty and you find someone gulping down an entire jug

04:49of water, does that encourage you to have a glass for yourself? No. But then thirst is something

05:01more easily perceivable, no? If you are thirsty, you know you are thirsty. The problem with inner

05:11thirst, mental thirst is that you have to be sensitive enough to experience it. We all remain

05:21internally thirsty, but do not even know of that. And that's the reason we keep consuming miscellaneous

05:29stuff when all we want is water. Metaphors apart, please understand what I'm trying to say. The

05:40other fellow is earning more money. Don't you want to ask yourself, how much importance does

05:47money hold for you? Let's say you get a lot of money. What will you do with it? Yes, you will

05:53win the comparison, right? The fellow was getting x and you got 1.2x, you won the comparison. Now

06:00what? What will you do with all that cash or whatever or stocks? What will you do with it?

06:11Has that really given you contentment in the past? And that requires that you spend time with

06:19yourself. You have to ask yourself, what is it that my inner self is really thirsty for? Your

06:33thirst will not be quenched by looking at all kinds of foods the others are consuming. In fact,

06:42if you're thirsty, and the other one is biting into cheesy pizza, and you too pick up a piece

06:51for yourself, that would only aggravate your thirst. So comparisons can actually be very

07:04harmful, counterproductive. I repeat, you have to live with yourself. Don't you want to ask

07:10yourself, what do you want to do with your own life? And are things in life more precious than

07:19life itself? Everything that you have in life is an object in the space of life. So it's smaller

07:30than life itself, right? And you are living with yourself. Our education actually does not teach

07:38us to look into ourselves, which is extremely important. I call it the education of the self

07:49or life education. Your inner demand can never be the same as that of the one ahead of you,

08:01or the one behind you, to the left of you, right of you. In that sense, you are a unique individual.

08:07A unique individual with unique needs. Those needs are crying to be met. But you cannot meet

08:21your needs if you do not even know what you need. And our education does not teach us that there is

08:29an emphasis on knowing what we need, nor some kind of exposure to the methods through which

08:39one can know himself. Getting it? So my advice would be, spend time with yourself. You are in

08:55your third year of BTech studies, and because you are going to approach your placements,

09:01you are with this question. So this is the time to isolate yourself a little from your environment.

09:11Because if you remain with that environment, that will carry you with itself. You will have

09:18no individuality. You would just be flowing with the stream. Not even flowing, you are being

09:25carried away like a dead object. That's what happens with almost everybody in the campus.

09:30Nobody really knows why he is appearing for a particular interview or applying to a particular

09:38company. You do it because everybody else does. And that's no way to live life. Rather,

09:45that's a very miserable way to live life. So this is the time, because once you get

09:55into a job, the job itself is like a heavy stream. The job takes you into a certain industry and then

10:06that becomes your career. And then you find that because of one period of unconsciousness in the

10:12campus, even 20 years later, you are in the same industry doing the same kind of things. And all

10:21these things are so very random, coincidental, and yet they become our destiny. That's quite a

10:28helpless thing to say. We should not let that happen. So this is the opportunity. Before that

10:37becomes your random destiny, isolate yourself, be with yourself. Don't get into the discussions

10:48among peers too much, because probably they all will be talking about the same thing and in the

10:53same language. Ask yourself, what kind of life must I really have? And what would help in this

11:03is that if you expose yourself to stuff that does not come from the IIT environment, read the

11:19biographies or the autobiographies of the great people of the world. See how they made their

11:25decisions. You will be exposed to other dimensions. You will realize these placements and such things

11:32are not really as big as they appear in the campus environment. And this is the time actually to be

11:43very well read. I understand you cannot read a hundred books in the coming three months. How

11:50soon are you sitting for your placements? Mostly within 12-14 months. So you have time. Thankfully

11:59you have time. Read a lot. Read a lot and you now have YouTube. So watch a lot of interviews

12:11from people who really have lived remarkable lives. And pay special attention to how they

12:20were in their youth. How they made decisions as students and as young professionals. Do not

12:31just keep listening to the batch mates and the hostel mates and all the gossip in the mess.

12:42That's an echo chamber. There is nothing new in it that takes you nowhere. Everyone is saying

12:50the same thing endlessly. The same concerns, the same worries, the same tensions, the same hopes,

12:56the same names, the same companies, the same faces. That does not tell you of anything new

13:02or fresh. There is no improvement by remaining in those circles. You already have had probably

13:09enough of them. So get into something fresh. You have an ear. Make the most of it. Read,

13:19read, read as much as you can. And from there a new kind of insight emerges. Also talk to people.

13:28Talk to people who are not usually accessible within the campus. See how you can approach them.

13:36Have more discussions like the one you are having right now. Right? And then in a very

13:48unpredictable way and in an unfathomable direction something new opens up. You cannot plan it out in

14:05advance. It is not something you can see or forecast as you sit here right now. All you

14:17can do is you can give yourself the environment in which insight and clarity emerge on their own.

14:24That environment is everything. So you have had enough of gossiping and frolicking. Maybe it's

14:40the time to confine yourself a little. Give yourself a bit of isolation. I'm not saying

14:47that you need to totally quarantine yourself from everybody else. What I'm saying is you

14:52need to give ample time to yourself. Obviously because you'd be in your classes probably in the

14:59hostel also if you're a hosteller. So you would be interacting with the general environment and

15:05that's okay. But give many many hours to yourself and to the great people of the world. Great people

15:12from all walks of life. From sports, politics, science, technology, everything. Even religion,

15:21spirituality. See how they were in their youth. Read their autobiographies. That really helps.

15:33Read the letters that they wrote. Read their conversations. And if you can get a few

15:41recordings, nothing like that. Though when it comes to the ones who are not exactly recent,

15:49recordings are impossible to get but still. Don't let the drift carry you away. That's my

16:06very strong advice. I have seen batches after batches just get into the same kind of careers

16:18and same kinds of life and just totally losing it. Your life is the one opportunity that you

16:25have. There's nothing before it or after it. It's not to be squandered away. Cracking the JEE is

16:35one thing and making good decisions for yourself after that is a totally different thing. It is

16:45quite possible that you enter the campus as JEE 1 and still make terrible decisions for yourself.

16:53In fact, it is not only possible, it is most probable. So be careful.

17:05Thanks a lot sir for answering.

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