Frasier Season 2 Episode 22 Agents In America Pt 3
Frasier Season 2 Episode 22 Agents In America Pt 3
Transcript
00:00Hello, Frasier. Double latte, full fat, chocolate shavings.
00:10Ah, the self-pity special.
00:14I've had a hellish week. To top it all off, old Reggie Belknap, the president of our wine club, kicked the bucket.
00:20The man's body was not even properly chilled before the club jackals began angling to succeed him.
00:26I've never seen such vicious, cutthroat conniving.
00:29Who's winning?
00:30Well, Maris, of course, but just barely.
00:34Matthew Pym tried to stage a coup.
00:39Fortunately, Maris has photos she took at his wedding.
00:42Photos that clearly show the label on the champagne he served.
00:46Domestic?
00:47Oh, not just domestic. From Connecticut.
00:53Oh, dear, don't turn around. It's that dreadful woman who works for you.
00:58Who?
00:59Um, uh, Lady Macbeth, without the sincerity.
01:03Oh, oh, Bebe's here. Oh, yes.
01:05Now, listen, Maris, I care for her just as little as you do, but she is a terrific agent,
01:11which is why I overlook the fact that she's pushy and obnoxious and the most appalling phony I've ever known.
01:17Bebe, darling, how are you?
01:19How are you?
01:21Oh, my poor, wounded baby.
01:24I just heard what those misers you work for are trying to do to you.
01:27Well, don't you worry. They're not going to get away with it.
01:30Well, you must have heard wrongly, Bebe.
01:32They've extended my contract for another year with an 8% raise.
01:358%? Well, that would insult even a waiter.
01:38Double cappuccino. Move it!
01:42Well, Bebe, that is what my contract calls for.
01:46A slave contract you negotiated two years ago before you even had an agent.
01:51They took advantage of your inexperience.
01:53I thought it was a very generous offer.
01:55Oh, please, do you have any idea how hot you are?
01:58I get offers every day from other stations offering the moon for you.
02:03Good Lord, am I really that hot?
02:06Are you kidding? If I were a pot roast, I'd be done.
02:12Hello, I'm Niles, a person at the table.
02:20Niles, thank God you're here. Back me up.
02:23Give him some sound brotherly advice.
02:25She's the devil, Frasier. Run fast, run far.
02:32Listen, Bebe, I realize that the station is making a handsome profit on my show,
02:39but what can I do? I do have a contract.
02:42No, darling, what you have is a fever.
02:46What?
02:49Ooh, you're like a furnace.
02:52Well, you know, I think I see where you're going with this, Bebe,
02:55and I'm not sure how I feel about it.
02:57Well, how do you feel about being one of the lowest paid personalities at the station?
03:01Who makes more?
03:02Who doesn't? Nanette from Pet Chat, the happy chef.
03:07Oh, for heaven's sakes, Father Mike could buy and sell you.
03:10Father Mike? He took a vow of poverty.
03:13Well, now he's taking a cruise.
03:17Ooh, that big strapping chest of yours is all congested.
03:23You just say the word, and I'll tell the station you have some coughing up to do.
03:28And so do they.
03:31Bebe, this fever of mine, how much higher do you think it might go?
03:38I'm guessing 30 to 40% about where it is now.
03:4240%? Well, what else can I say about...
03:49Achoo!
03:52Achoo!
03:57Child, you wanted me to make you pregnant.
04:00I was in a coma. You could have waited.
04:03My God, in one scene they've got Skye, Xena and Slate.
04:09I don't think someone called Frasier should be pointing any fingers.
04:16So you spend your days when I'm not at home?
04:18Not quite. When you're not home, I can bloody well hear what they're saying.
04:23You wouldn't want to miss a line of this dialogue.
04:26Oh, Zirconia, can't you see Stone doesn't love you? He loves placenta.
04:37My favourite are the villains.
04:39They have one guy on here who kicked his grandmother down the stairs
04:43and bezel money from a children's hospital and poisoned a puppy.
04:47Give him credit, though. He did show up for work every day.
04:53Oh, dear, Dad, if you were going to be so devilishly subtle, how will I ever get your point?
04:57All right, well, call me old-fashioned. I think when you sign a contract, you stick to it.
05:01A man's only as good as his words.
05:03Yes, well, my words have doubled the station's ad revenues.
05:06All they've shown me for thanks is a measly 8% raise.
05:09Oh, so what? 30 years on the police force, you think I ever went to the sergeant's office?
05:15You think I ever went to the sergeant and said,
05:17Hey, I'm shooting way more bad guys than I thought I would. How about a bonus?
05:24Dad, you don't understand. This is show business.
05:27I'll get it.
05:28Thank you, Dad. We do things differently. Negotiations are like a dance.
05:32They expect me to fight my contract.
05:35They know I'm not sick. I know they know I'm not sick.
05:37They know I know they know I'm not sick.
05:39It's all part of the negotiations mumbo.
05:43Hey there, Ross.
05:44Hi, Ross.
05:45Hey, Martin.
05:46Ross, how goes things at the front?
05:48Well, for starters, they painted over your name on your parking space.
05:52Perfect.
05:53What?
05:54Well, B.B. told me they might do that. It's part of a negotiation tactic.
05:58It shows that they're getting nervous.
06:00Well, they must be really jittery then because they took your picture out of the lobby.
06:04Ross, Ross, they're just trying to scare me.
06:07And he knows they're trying to scare him.
06:09And they know that he knows they're trying to scare him.
06:13And he knows...
06:14Thank you, Dad.
06:19They're just bluffing. It's like a card game.
06:21It's like a card game. It's like a dance.
06:23The whole thing sounds like a weekend in Vegas.
06:29You know, I would have thought they'd play games too, Frasier.
06:31But they started auditioning people to replace you.
06:34They're interviewing people?
06:36All day.
06:37And they're really hot on this woman who has some gardening show.
06:42She calls herself Ma Nature.
06:46I can't work for her. Frasier, you should see her nails.
06:54Well, there's no need to panic, Ross. I'm sure it's all part of the dance.
07:00Hi, Dr. Crane. The station sent me over with your stuff. Sorry.
07:04Oh, my God. They've cleaned up my cubicle?
07:06Listen, Mike, you're all over gossip. I mean, they're just bluffing, right?
07:10I hope not. My audition went really well.
07:20Nurse Beebe reporting for duty.
07:22Blossoms for my little shut-in. Put these in something.
07:28Have you heard what's going on?
07:30They've cleaned up my cubicle. They're auditioning other people.
07:33Marvelous. They're resorting to cheap scare tactics.
07:37Looks like I was right to bring this along.
07:40Chill that.
07:44Darling, you're looking a little pale.
07:47Don't tell me these amateur theatrics are actually worrying you.
07:51Well, no, no, but the stress of not worrying is starting to get to me.
07:59I don't know if I can take much more of this.
08:01Darling, if that's the way you feel, then fine.
08:05Let's get this over with.
08:08Oh, Frasier, it's for the best, really. Trust me on this one.
08:12Tom Duran, please. Beebe Glazer calling.
08:16Tom, Beebe's bored.
08:20You've huffed and you've puffed, but our house is still standing.
08:24We're giving you a midnight deadline.
08:27Either call us here at Frasier's and tell us you'll renegotiate or we'll walk.
08:31Love ya.
08:35There. That should make them sweat, don't you think?
08:38It might.
08:42Well, it's all over but the waiting.
08:45Can I ask to anyone?
08:47Shuffle these.
08:5711.45.
09:00Oh, God. It's over.
09:03They've made the decision. It's over.
09:06Well, it was a fun run when it lasted, eh, Seattle?
09:12This is Dr. Frasier Crane!
09:16And I was listening!
09:22Here we are.
09:24One cup of tea, half Darjeeling, half chamomile, skim milk, a packet of sweetener.
09:31Oh, and I thought you might enjoy a nice fat-free tea biscuit.
09:36Will there be anything else?
09:38No. You run along. I'm fine.
09:41You sure now?
09:42Cos I could wait until you finish the biscuit and floss your teeth for you.
09:54You are a cheeky little monkey, aren't you?
09:59This cookie tastes like meat!
10:01Yes, and it'll remove tartar and give you a nice shiny coat.
10:16Well, I think I'm gonna hit the hay too.
10:19That's awfully risky of you, isn't it, leaving us kids out here on the chaperone?
10:24Better him than me.
10:31Why are you so tense?
10:34This is the best part. What could be more fun than this?
10:39Watching a loved one be autopsied.
10:45Think of them, sweating in their offices.
10:48Chain-smoking, biting their nails, their ulcers,
10:52churning out enough acid to bend a hole in a ship's hull.
10:56Oh, God.
11:01And to think I nearly went into nursing.
11:08Oh, you're right, baby, you're right.
11:10God, they're foolish enough to let me go.
11:13Well, then, fine. There are any number of other stations that would love to have Fraser Crane on board.
11:18Exactly.
11:19Yes. But, you know, in fact, I think it's time maybe we discussed those other offers.
11:24Consider what our fallback position should be.
11:27Ooh, someone's out of scotch!
11:35Bebe, tell me there are other offers.
11:38Scads!
11:40Now, you look me in the eye and tell me the truth.
11:45There are no other offers.
11:47Straight up or on the rocks.
11:50Here we go.
11:52Darling, you can't make a deal without bluffing a little.
11:56You're supposed to bluff them, not me.
12:01My God, woman, are you trying to ruin me?
12:04You are such a worrywart.
12:06Don't patronize me, you sweet-talking succubus. You get on the phone and call them.
12:11Oh, my God, hands of Hercules.
12:18What must your legs be like?
12:24Answer it.
12:25Not yet.
12:28Where are we? Have we gone out?
12:32Is it too late?
12:33Answer it!
12:36Crane residence, Bebe Glazer speaking.
12:40It's them.
12:43I see.
12:45I see.
12:49Fine.
12:55Well?
12:57Renegotiations tomorrow, starting from scratch.
13:00Oh, my God.
13:07Oh.
13:10Oh, my God, I'm so pleased.
13:12Thank you, Bebe.
13:14Maybe next time you'll trust little Bebe.
13:17Yes, oh, I'm so sorry. You're right, I underestimated you.
13:20I'm sorry for that horrible outburst and for grabbing you the way I did.
13:25Don't be.
13:27I was impressed.
13:29It was manly in a hysterical sort of way.
13:36Cheers.
13:38Champagne on top of scotch?
13:42Oh, what the hell?
13:44To a beautiful partnership.
13:46No, no.
13:48To a remarkable agent.
13:52What Bebe wants, Bebe gets. When will I ever learn that?
13:57Soon enough, dear.
14:01Soon enough.
14:06Soon enough.
14:29Sorry, Eddie, you're still alive.
14:31You're not going to get your own room after all.
14:36Oh, God.
14:37How are you feeling?
14:38How do I look?
14:40Last time I saw a guy who looked like you, he'd been in the trunk of a car at the airport for a month.
14:48Good morning.
14:50My goodness, christened a few ships last night, I see.
14:55Station agreed to renegotiate.
14:59Oh, darling.
15:02Yes, they called around five to midnight.
15:07Bebe and I had some champagne to celebrate, and then...
15:12And then...
15:16Oh, God.
15:20Morning, Doctor.
15:22Oh, God.
15:29Somebody hold me.
15:33I hope you don't mind, but I didn't see a robe, and your shirt looks so nice and big and warm, just like you.
15:44Well, I think I'll go in the other room and eat my breakfast while I still can.
15:51I'd better go cook for him.
15:53I know how the Korean men like their legs, eggs.
15:59I think they were a little shocked.
16:02Well, I'm a little surprised myself.
16:06Let's not kid ourselves.
16:09We both knew this would happen someday.
16:12We did?
16:13The signs were all there.
16:15The glances, the furtive smiles.
16:20You know what would really hit the spot right now?
16:23My God, you're a machine!
16:32Coffee. I meant coffee.
16:35I'll get it.
16:36Oh, no, no, no. That's not necessary.
16:39Good morning, now.
16:41What a lovely surprise. We were just about to sit down to a big family breakfast.
16:46Won't you join us?
16:50No.
16:55Come on in, Niles. It's all right.
17:06We were celebrating. You see, the station called to renegotiate my contract.
17:11Oh.
17:13Paid your commission up front, I see.
17:17It's getting late. I'd better go freshen up.
17:21Save me a muffin, muffin.
17:31All right, just go ahead. Get your shots in.
17:34No, no. I'm just glad you're all right.
17:37I would have assumed she killed after mating.
17:47Is she gone?
17:49No, Dad. She's changing.
17:52Oh, my God. How did this happen?
17:55You're asking us?
17:58Oh, I've got to talk with her. I've got to tell her this was just a mistake.
18:02Well, you'd better be careful how you let her down.
18:04She's liable to go nuts, like in that movie,
18:07then sneak in here and try to boil Eddie.
18:11Well, look, we'll clear her out of here and give you a little privacy.
18:15No, no, no, Dad. I can't tell her right now.
18:17She's about to go down there and renegotiate my contract.
18:20I'll tell her later.
18:21Oh, that's a good idea.
18:23Wait till she makes you a bunch of money,
18:25then on top of breaking her heart, you can make her feel really used.
18:29Sounds like a plan to me.
18:33Darling!
18:34We'll leave you to your own devices.
18:37Darling!
18:39We'll leave you to your happy task.
18:43Cancel that muffin.
18:45B.B. just started a diet.
18:47Wink.
18:50Besides, tonight we're dining at Bernardi's.
18:53It's sinfully expensive, but I think after contract talks, we can afford it.
18:59Uh, B.B.
19:00Yes?
19:02B.B., uh, I don't think there are any words to describe what we shared last night.
19:10It was like Greco-Roman wrestling on a trampoline.
19:20You see, as magical as it was,
19:23I don't think it's the kind of thing that we should let happen again.
19:29Oh.
19:31Well, you see, I value you too much as a colleague
19:34to do anything that might jeopardize that relationship.
19:41I see.
19:43Oh, you're upset.
19:44No, I'm sure we both would have realized it was a mistake sooner or later.
19:48Personally, I was hoping for later, but I suppose sooner's best.
19:52It is. It really is.
19:53I'd better dash. I'll call you after the meeting.
20:00Oh.
20:02Oh, like you never crawled under the wrong fence once in your life.
20:15Disaster again.
20:17Maris' little wine club had an outing to the local vineyard.
20:20As the new president, she had the honor of being first into the stomping bat.
20:25You can imagine her humiliation
20:27as she danced herself into a barefoot fury
20:29and was unable to break even a single grape.
20:36Frasier, have you heard a word I've said?
20:39Of course not, Niles. I'm still worried about Bebe.
20:43I thought you said she took it well.
20:45Oh, she did, but you know how it is with strong women.
20:48Sometimes their strength masks their vulnerability.
20:53Well, let's face it.
20:56Once a woman has dipped her toe into Crane Lake,
21:03dry land is never the same again.
21:08Yes, she's probably home in her room
21:10writing Mrs. Bebe Crane over and over in the margin of her algebra book.
21:16You can make light of this if you want to,
21:18but it is entirely possible that I broke that woman's heart.
21:21Ooh, whose heart did you break?
21:23No one. Niles, be quiet.
21:25Oh, come on, Frasier. I'm gonna figure it out sooner or later.
21:28Give me a clue. Just one. That's all I need.
21:30Doc! Doc, come quick!
21:32Bebe's out on the ledge of our building. She's threatening to jump.
21:35Oh, my God. This is all my fault.
21:37Wait! Just give me a hint.
21:46Bebe, please.
21:48Get away from me!
21:51Excuse me. What happened?
21:53I don't know. We were working out your deal.
21:56She just burst into tears.
21:58I went out to get some water for her.
22:00When I came back, she's standing out there
22:02sobbing that she doesn't want to live.
22:11Bebe, it's Frasier.
22:13Please come in.
22:15It's no good!
22:17My life is over!
22:20We gotta save her, Doc.
22:22My contract's up in six weeks.
22:24She's my agent, too.
22:28I'm going out there.
22:30Are you nuts?
22:31It's nine stories down.
22:32You know what a drop like that would do to you?
22:34Ross, why don't you toss a pumpkin out the window?
22:36So I have a clear image.
22:38Wait for the police.
22:40No. No.
22:42No, that woman out there needs me.
22:46Bebe, I'm coming out.
22:48Don't come any closer!
22:50I'll jump!
22:51Bebe, please.
22:52No, you can't help me!
22:55No one can help me!
22:58Look, I'm not worth doing this over.
23:01Look, there'll be other men.
23:04It may take time, but you'll get over me.
23:07Well, somebody certainly thinks well of himself.
23:12What?
23:13Darling, this isn't about us.
23:15It's just a little bargaining tactic.
23:25I threaten to jump.
23:26You talk me down.
23:27Major coverage.
23:28Bang!
23:29Your price goes up 20%.
23:31My life is meaningless!
23:37Talk to me, darling.
23:38Talk to me.
23:39If you're mine, now listen.
23:40You're coming in.
23:41You're coming in right now.
23:42Get away from me!
23:43You can't talk me out of this!
23:46At least not until Channel 5 gets here.
23:51Now, come on, dear.
23:52Make like a therapist.
23:54God, you are out of your mind.
23:56You need help.
23:57You should be in therapy.
23:59That's good, but louder.
24:01Give me one reason to live!
24:04Just one!
24:06Just one!
24:12There are hundreds of reasons.
24:20Work, art, the people who care about you.
24:23Now come in, you crazy bitch.
24:36Channel 5.
24:38Come to mama.
24:41Okay, dear.
24:42Full coverage.
24:43Here's the plan.
24:44I swoon forward.
24:45You reach up and catch me.
24:46What?
24:47On three.
24:48One.
24:49Two.
24:50No!
24:55Film at 11.
25:01Just kidding.
25:04Oh, baby.
25:05Are you all right?
25:07Yes.
25:08I'm fine now.
25:10Bulldog, get her some water.
25:12Do you want to sit down?
25:15Thank you, Frasier.
25:18You saved my life.
25:23That was incredible, Frasier.
25:26Look, uh...
25:27I know we've got some unfinished business, but...
25:30rest assured, after this...
25:32there's no way we're gonna let you get away.
25:37Thank you, Tom.
25:40If I could just have a moment alone with B.B.?
25:43Sure.
25:55What kind of a woman are you?
25:58You seduced me.
25:59You lied to me.
26:00You nearly got me killed.
26:02You've shamelessly manipulated not only me,
26:04but this station, the news media,
26:06and the entire city of Seattle.
26:10What do you have to say for yourself?
26:14Aren't you glad I'm on your side?
26:26Yes, I suppose I am.
26:30Yes, I suppose I am.
26:36Hey, baby, I hear the blues are calling
26:39Tossed salads and scrambled eggs
26:43Quite stylish
26:45And maybe I seem a bit confused
26:48Well, maybe
26:49But I got you pegged
26:54But I don't know what to do
26:56With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs
27:01They're calling again
27:04Good night, Seattle! We love you!