Frasier Season 10 Episode 15 Trophy Girlfriend
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00:00Niles, sorry I'm late. Did you sign us up?
00:02Um, Frasier, I've been thinking.
00:04How many years have we teamed up for the squash tournament only to be eliminated in the second round?
00:09Nine.
00:10Exactly.
00:12Don't you think it's time we came up with a new strategy?
00:15Niles, if you're talking about taking that powder that's made from sheep's glands, the answer is never again.
00:21No, actually I was thinking of something more fundamental.
00:24It occurs to me that after nine years...
00:26Shh, quiet, quiet. Here comes that two-faced bragger, Jim Blake.
00:30Jim, looking good!
00:32Thanks, Frasier, thanks.
00:34So, you signed up for the tournament?
00:36Uh, I don't know.
00:38Have we, partner?
00:44Awesome, awesome. Let's do it.
00:46I'll see you on the court, bro.
00:56It's not what it looks like.
00:57It's exactly what it looks like.
01:00You've teamed up with someone younger and in better shape.
01:02No, Frasier, you know I don't care about such superficial things.
01:05You know, that Jim is bad news.
01:07He struts around here in those ridiculous-looking Swedish goggles that everybody thinks are so cool.
01:13Jim.
01:17You know, I just wish you'd told me sooner instead of waiting until the last minute.
01:21Does Jim know you're passive-aggressive?
01:23Believe me, neither Jim nor I expected this to happen.
01:27Our games just meshed.
01:29We would have teamed up sooner, but the timing was never right.
01:32Either Jim was with a squash partner or I was playing with you.
01:35Fine, go. Just go, go, go to your new partner.
01:38I don't care. Who needs you?
01:42Niles.
01:45Don't forget to wear your wrist brace.
01:47You know how easily you spray.
01:53Hi.
01:57Hi.
01:58Frasier.
01:59Oh.
02:00Chelsea Gray.
02:01Oh.
02:02We met a few months ago.
02:03Yes.
02:04You were kicking the Gatorade machine.
02:06Of course. I remember.
02:07I had inserted my dollar bill with Washington's face up as per the diagram and was vended nothing.
02:14Did you ever write that letter?
02:16Indeed I did.
02:17The matter still pens.
02:19Ah.
02:20So did you sign up for the tournament?
02:23Well, I was going to, but I just found out my customary partner has made other plans this year.
02:30Well, would you be interested in playing mixed doubles?
02:34I'm a girls PE teacher, so it'd be nice to play with a guy for a change.
02:39Thanks for the offer, but after what I've just been through, I'm not sure I'm ready to partner up again.
02:44That's too bad. I've seen you play. We'd make a good team.
02:49You're already resorting to playing with the girls, Frasier?
02:53No offense, sweetie.
02:59Excuse me.
03:07Nice shot, partner.
03:19Here we are.
03:21Hello, all.
03:23I never guessed who just won their squash tournament.
03:27If only we had a big, shiny clue.
03:31Hey, that's great news. Congratulations.
03:35Well, I owe it all to my partner.
03:38Oh, thank you, partner, but I think it's really due to our partnership.
03:43Aha, well, now you know what they say. There's no I in team.
03:49Like there is in Niles.
03:54So here, Dad, check it out.
03:57Wow, would you look at that.
03:59I didn't think I'd ever see the day one of my boys would win a trophy that didn't have a book on it.
04:06Now, all that's left on my list is shake hands with Hank Aaron, kiss Sally Field on the mouth,
04:11and then I can go on and be with your mother.
04:15You know, Jim and I may have our own trophies soon.
04:18We're still alive in the men's doubles bracket.
04:21Oh, please, Niles, your partner couldn't be carrying you anymore
04:24if he put you in a Snuggly and strapped you to his stomach.
04:29Now, I'm proud of both of you.
04:32Squash might not be the toughest of sports, but it's still technically a sport.
04:37What? Squash can be pretty tough.
04:41Oh, no, no, no, no. I once saw a guy break his leg in a mid-court collision.
04:46The bone was poking through his skin, and he still finished the point.
04:52That's the game you guys play?
04:54Hell yeah.
04:58Frazier, do you mind if I use your phone?
05:01No, of course not. I tell you what, come use the one in the other room.
05:04That'll give you some privacy after you, my lady.
05:07You know, Dad, when Jim and I win our trophies, I think I'm going to give mine to you.
05:12Thank you, son.
05:14But I don't want you moping around here if your brother wins one and you don't.
05:18Oh, please, Dad, I'm a little more mature than that.
05:21No, you're not.
05:25It still bugs you that his name comes first alphabetically.
05:29Well, that was your fault.
05:32Your girlfriend seems nice.
05:34Oh, she is nice, but she's certainly not my girlfriend.
05:39I do find her attractive, but I'm not sure I'm anything more than a teammate to her.
05:47Well, from what I've seen, I'd say she likes you a lot.
05:50Really? She did kiss me once.
05:54I think that was just in an overflow of emotion afterwards.
05:57She did kiss me once.
05:59I think that was just in an overflow of emotion after one of our victories, you know.
06:03I suppose that happens all the time on sports teams.
06:06It doesn't.
06:09Of course, I can't speak for the Canadian leagues.
06:14Well, truth be told, Arthur, there's not the excitement of the tournament to fuel the fires.
06:21I don't think we really have much in common in the real world.
06:25You have your ostentatious trophies.
06:29Well, it was good seeing you all, but I have to get going.
06:33Oh, so soon?
06:34You just got here.
06:35I have an early faculty meeting.
06:37I'll walk you out.
06:41Goodbye.
06:42Bye.
06:43Bye.
06:44Congratulations.
06:45Well, I certainly had a great time the last few weeks.
06:49Me too.
06:51Call me again if you want to play sometime.
07:01I don't suppose you'd want to take this to the next level.
07:05Oh, I gave up my dream of professional squash years ago.
07:09That's not what I meant.
07:13Maybe I could think of another way to put it.
07:16That's not what I meant.
07:20Maybe I could think of another way to put it.
07:24Maybe I could think of another way to put it.
07:48Oh, hi, Dad.
07:49Hey, I didn't expect to see you here.
07:51Niles said you were going out with Chelsea.
07:53Could you do a quick pick-me-up before I pick her up?
07:55Does she laugh at that kind of stuff?
07:57You know, she does.
07:59Hold on to this one.
08:00I intend to.
08:02Oh, espresso, please.
08:05You know, every day I learn something new about her.
08:10She enjoys reading poetry in the bath.
08:15She's an excellent cook.
08:17It's like she's the perfect girl for me.
08:19Well, I think you make a lovely couple.
08:23Even though Niles can't believe you're dating a gym teacher,
08:26he says it's a betrayal of your younger selves.
08:29It's perfectly understandable.
08:31We didn't have much luck with gym teachers when we were kids.
08:35They were always so derisive and ego-crippling.
08:38There was this one in particular,
08:40Coach Fuller.
08:42He was the worst.
08:44The kind of man that would make the whole class wait
08:47while you did your push-up.
08:49It was just so traumatizing.
08:51I would actually lose my lunch before gym period.
08:55Except on those days when my lunch money was stolen,
08:58and I'd just dry heave.
09:01Niles has tons of stories like that.
09:04You know, perhaps getting to know Chelsea
09:07will help Niles to exorcise his demons
09:10and put them behind him.
09:12He's running out of room back there.
09:14Oh.
09:15Hey, Ross.
09:16Hey, Daphne.
09:17Hey, Fraser.
09:19You all right?
09:20I was fine until I saw Julia in the parking lot.
09:23Why does she have to come here?
09:25For God's sakes, Ross.
09:27I'm a little tired of hearing you complain about Julia all the time.
09:31Why don't you just give her a chance?
09:33How about her?
09:35I've been working with her for over a month,
09:37and she shows me no respect.
09:40She's mean and arrogant,
09:42but not in a funny way like you.
09:44Could I have a latte, please?
09:46Listen, the woman took a portion of my show
09:48to do her financial drivel.
09:49You don't hear me complaining about her all the time.
09:51Now, enough is enough.
09:53Julia,
09:55why don't you come and join us?
09:57Oh, all right.
10:03Hello, Fraser.
10:08Isn't this nice?
10:12All right, it's come to my attention
10:14that there is some tension between the two of you.
10:16Now, as it is entirely possible
10:19that we will be spending a great deal of time together,
10:21I think it's important that we establish
10:23an environment of mutual respect.
10:26To that end,
10:28as it is impossible for the two of you to communicate at all,
10:31it is time for me to roll up my sleeves
10:35and facilitate.
10:37Finding some common ground
10:39would be the first step,
10:41perhaps a love of plants.
10:43The C!
10:45You sure love to hear yourself talk.
10:47It's impossible to tune him out.
10:50How can you stand it?
10:52The key is to know when to say, uh-huh.
10:54Fine, fine, all right.
10:56If I am your common ground,
10:58so be it.
11:00Please feel free to tread upon me.
11:02Uh-huh.
11:03The important thing is
11:05that you're talking.
11:06Communication is the...
11:07Just go!
11:14Okay, he's gone.
11:33Slowly.
11:39Be with you in a minute.
11:41You can wait in my office.
11:48Very nice, nice.
11:53All right, concentrate.
11:57There we go.
11:59Good.
12:01Please excuse my daughter, Ruby, from P.E.
12:05Concentrate.
12:06She has a delibitating disease.
12:12Nice try, Ruby.
12:14Okay, who didn't climb rope yet?
12:18Campbell, you're up.
12:33Oh, I'd forgotten how it felt
12:35to sneak a kiss in school.
12:37It always looked like fun.
12:39So I'll be finished here in a second,
12:41and then we can go.
12:43Great, great, I thought we'd try this new place.
12:45I just read...
12:46Campbell, you're not even trying!
12:50Sorry, you were saying?
12:52Yeah, I read a great review of this new restaurant.
12:54Apparently the chef is from...
12:59No one is leaving until Campbell climbs the rope!
13:03Excuse me for a moment.
13:06Come on!
13:08You can sleep through English.
13:11Toughen up, you can do it.
13:14Let's go, Campbell!
13:16Everybody's waiting!
13:18Come on, crane!
13:21Nobody is going home
13:24until you haul that fat bucket of lard to the top!
13:27I can't!
13:29I can't!
13:36Just give me a few minutes,
13:38and I'll be ready to go.
13:40Oh, I just need you to do one thing.
13:43Drop and give me 20, crane.
13:49I beg your pardon?
13:51Could you just round up the basketballs
13:53and put them in the rack over there?
13:55Thanks.
14:05LAUGHTER
14:19Frasier?
14:21Niles has something he needs to tell you.
14:28Go on, tell him. I'm sick of hearing you complain.
14:35I made a mistake partnering with Jim.
14:38Our styles never really meshed, which wasn't my fault.
14:42But that didn't stop him from losing his temper during a match.
14:46And he yelled at me.
14:49With you it was different.
14:51You brought honour to the game.
14:53Rejoin me, Frasier, and together we can rekindle the magic.
14:57LAUGHTER
15:00Please, take him back.
15:02I cannot listen to another draft of this speech.
15:06I'll see you at home, sweetie.
15:08Thanks.
15:10Niles, I'll gladly re-team with you.
15:13Just like that?
15:16I expected you to gloat and rub it in and make me suffer.
15:21Don't you care?
15:23Oh, my apologies, Niles.
15:25It's just that I'm a little distracted about something that happened yesterday at Chelsea's school.
15:30I'm sorry, but that reminds me.
15:32Chelsea sent me the sweetest gift after Jim and I were eliminated from the tournament.
15:36It's an actual squash with a smiley face drawn on it.
15:40That's cute.
15:42You know, when you first started dating her, I couldn't get past the fact that she was a gym teacher.
15:46But she's proven to be nothing like I expected. Kudos to you.
15:50Well, not sure I deserve such praise.
15:52No, no, no. Don't be so modest.
15:54Frazier, you truly have a gift for seeing the inner beauty in a person.
15:58I do try.
16:00Speak of the devil.
16:02Here's Dad and Chelsea now.
16:04Oh, hey, guys. Look who I ran into.
16:07Hello, Dad.
16:09Hi, Chelsea.
16:11Niles.
16:13Oh, sweetie.
16:16That's a lovely outfit.
16:19Really? You think so, huh?
16:24I thought it might be a little racy, but then I thought, what the hell?
16:28What do you think, Frazier?
16:30Oh, it's very, very becoming.
16:36Just let me grab a drink and we'll be ready to go.
16:39I usually stay out of your love affairs, son, but you've got a good one here.
16:44Definitely a keeper.
16:46Might I add, and excuse my gutterspeak, hubba hubba.
16:51Back to our best behavior, this is a lady present.
16:55I'm ready, sweetie.
16:57Mmm.
16:59Mmm.
17:01Mmm.
17:03Mmm.
17:14Love is a smoke raised on the fume of sighs
17:21being purged of fire
17:24sparkling in lovers' eyes.
17:27You all right?
17:29What? I'm fine.
17:32Okay.
17:35I am a vessel.
17:37Come tenderly and fill me with the nectar of your love.
17:46So I figure since you're the financial guru, you could help me out.
17:50Now, obviously, I don't want to get involved in some get-rich-quick scheme,
17:54but I do need to make a lot of money really fast.
17:58So what do you got?
18:00I don't like to talk about work when I'm outside the office.
18:03Oh.
18:06Right.
18:07Me neither.
18:13Hey, there's Ross! Hey, Ross, come join us!
18:16I don't think so.
18:17No, no, no, I won't take no for an answer. Now you sit down.
18:24Hi, Julia.
18:25Ross.
18:26Well, I know girl talk when I hear it. Bye.
18:34I'll go this time.
18:36Thanks.
18:40You know, maybe Fraser was right.
18:43Would it kill us to make some effort to be civil?
18:47I guess not.
18:52Thanks.
18:55So, your show was good today.
19:00Yes, it was.
19:04And?
19:05And your producing was top-notch.
19:11Thanks.
19:13Sugar?
19:15Please.
19:18Well, this isn't so bad.
19:20No, it's not. Maybe we just got off on the wrong foot.
19:24Well, when you first started, you know, I just thought you were kind of a bitch for ordering everyone around.
19:32That's totally my fault.
19:34I have a tendency to be patronizing to, um, entry-level employees.
19:41Well, you know, I was going to say something earlier,
19:45but when I heard your first show, I figured you wouldn't be here long.
19:52Well, you certainly made an impression on me.
19:55I remember I kept thinking, who did she sleep with to get this job?
19:59And then I found out.
20:01Everybody.
20:06That's a good one.
20:10You know, there's a plunger in the bathroom. What do you say we go look for your career?
20:17Great! While we're in there, I can get your phone number.
20:24Don't bother. It's 1-800-BITE-ME.
20:28Bite me? That's the best that you've got?
20:31Oh, I could spend half an hour on your hair.
20:33Well, you should have spent half an hour on your hair.
20:35Oh, really?
20:38It's closing time, ladies. I'm afraid you'll have to leave.
20:42But we're just warming up.
20:44You know, there's a place down the street that, uh, is open all night.
20:49Just like your mouth.
20:52Just like your legs.
20:56Wait up!
21:07So, we're just gonna go to sleep, huh?
21:18I'm really tired.
21:22You sure you don't want to watch TV or get something to eat?
21:25No.
21:28I know someone who's tiggly.
21:30No, stop, stop, stop!
21:38Okay, Frazier.
21:41You've been acting weird all day.
21:44What's going on?
21:47Well, it's a little complicated.
21:49What is? Is there a problem?
22:01Yes, Chelsea, there is.
22:04It disturbed me yesterday when I saw you yelling at that little girl on the rope.
22:11I couldn't believe how harsh you were, and...
22:14I mean, you may not realize it, but that can have a crippling effect on a child.
22:18What?
22:22I didn't think I was being excessively harsh.
22:26I was just trying to motivate her.
22:29Yes, well, the way you were shouting, it was hard to tell.
22:34And when you're a child, all you know is you're being singled out.
22:42I have no right to tell you how to do your job.
22:44It's my problem, not yours.
22:48No, no.
22:51You may have a point.
22:55Maybe...
22:57I do push too hard.
23:01Sometimes...
23:04I forget just how fragile kids can be.
23:08Really?
23:11You agree with me?
23:13Yes, I do.
23:15Thank you, Frazier.
23:27It's sweet of you to care so much.
23:31Well, you're worth caring about.
23:39Now, come on.
23:41Let's go have a nice, romantic dinner.
23:46Okay, all right.
23:48Let me just go get ready.
23:50You know, when I heard you shouting at that little girl today,
23:53I swear, it just brought back a flood of memories from my own childhood.
23:58Really?
23:59Oh, yeah.
24:01You know, my gym teacher was constantly yelling at me
24:04because I couldn't do a single pull-up or a lap around the track.
24:11Not even one?
24:13Oh, please.
24:14I was a very late bloomer.
24:17I could barely do a jumping jack without getting a nosebleed.
24:22And let's not begin to talk about the climbing rope.
24:27There we go. All done.
24:36Well...
24:40What do you say I get us a table at Petito Bear's?
24:46They do an excellent veal chop.
24:50Okay.
24:52After you, milady.
25:08Hey, baby, I hear the blues are calling
25:11Tossed salads and scrambled eggs
25:15Oh, my.
25:17And maybe I seem a bit confused
25:20Yeah, maybe, but I got you pegged
25:23Ha, ha, ha, ha
25:26But I don't know what to do
25:28With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs
25:34They're calling again
25:37Scrambled eggs all over my face
25:41What is a boy to do?
25:43Good night, Seattle! We love you!