Upon entering a deserted town, swordsman Takeru is caught for stealing food. Upon viewing him, a young woman named Luna believes him to be the destined man to save the area. With Luna in tow, Takeru heads to a demon-filled castle to recover six jewels and the captured female warriors...
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Oh
00:17Starvation will kill me before any of these stupid monsters will I hope there's a town or village nearby
00:30You
00:35Where is everybody
00:38Hey
00:39Anybody home?
00:41What kind of city is this? It's not a soul in sight. Even the bars and bordellos are locked tight
00:49Man this is ridiculous. Can't a guy even buy a meal in this burg? What a pathetic excuse for a city
00:57Hmm, I wonder if I should check out that castle
01:00Oh
01:21Hey, take it easy, don't you know that you girls are supposed to be the gentler sex will someone explain this ruffian present
01:28Yes, your majesty after breaking into the palace kitchen. This knave proceeded to ravish the royal pantry
01:33We caught him with a mouthful of ding-dongs
01:36Stealing food. How very good now. Wait a second
01:39I was out there yelling you until I was blown the face and those were ho-ho's not ding-dongs
01:44It's not my fault
01:45You know, I came in the window to see if my eyes could find something for my belly my head started helping themselves
01:50Be quiet. You are charged with breakfasting and entering. Would you like to be hung thief? No, thanks
01:57I already am. My name is Takeru Yamato freelance adventure philosopher and all-around party animal. I
02:03Also swing a pre-made sword if you know what I mean, we have no use for sword swingers here freelance or otherwise
02:09However, I will be merciful take this thief out and get rid of him. Yes, my queen
02:15We need this man your majesty
02:22Luna
02:25I
02:26Have you forgotten the words of the Prophet?
02:28What if the promised hero the one who will deliver strawberry fields from this horrible curse we could be throwing away our only chance
02:39Could it be
02:41Yes
02:41I remember the prophecy when darkened fields are stripped of flowers and the leaves out of season begin to change
02:48The moon shall light our waking hours and a hero shall arrive from the southern rain
02:52I know he really doesn't look like much your majesty, but first impressions can be deceiving. Well, excuse me
02:58I've been out killing monsters. There is no doubt in my mind. He is the promised hero
03:04Yes, you could be right very well since you may be the promised hero. I have a task for you
03:13Once
03:14Strawberry fields was the most beautiful country on the continent
03:17The blessings of the goddess were many and the water from the fountain of happiness flowed throughout the land
03:22Then one day a dark cloud appeared and enveloped the goddess's tower and the water from the magic fountain ceased to flow
03:28Taking with it our happiness
03:31The next day our goddess was returned to us. This is how we found
03:44Somebody turned her into stone not just somebody this was the work of the Dragon Knight clan the Dragon Knight clan
03:51Yes, the Dragon Knight appeared and told us of his plans
03:54Dark powers are trendy. The days of good are gone
04:03It was a really stupid speech another showdown between good and evil
04:11So what used to be in these holes
04:13Six jewels with magical powers. Those are the key to restoring the goddess
04:19However, first we must retrieve those jewels which are in the hands of the Dragon Knight I suppose that's right
04:25Or the hands of one of his five brother Knights and to make matters worse the Dragon Knights have captured all the warriors
04:32We've sent him to find the jewels
04:33Even as we speak those poor girls are being tortured in that black tower by those fiends and their monsters henchman. Oh
04:39She's crying even sealed in stone. She weeps for us brave cockaroo
04:44This is your destiny to rescue our fallen warriors slay the Dragon Knights take the jewels and restore peace and tranquility to our land
04:52Accomplish these tasks and I will drop those criminal trespass charges and grant you any wish you desire
04:58Now wait a second now, didn't you say something about there being some monstrous henchmen in there, too?
05:03Are you frightened aren't you a man?
05:06Well, it does make the odds a little steeper. Surely you can't abandon those beautiful young women beautiful young women
05:14Yes, lovely young women some even prettier than me. Yeah
05:19really
05:20You know, your goddess in a rock story has really touched my heart and I could definitely use the exercise you mean you'll do it
05:44Hey Luna, there's something I wanted to ask you just 33 ways to eat you hips 32. Oh, no, not that
05:51What's the deal with all those swords?
05:54Oh the swords they kind of mark the grace of other heroes who've gone in the tower before you
06:00That's one thing about those Dragon Knights. They may be evil, but they really follow through they even dig the holes. Isn't that sweet?
06:06Oh, that's just great. Well funerals are expensive these days. Why am I getting a bad feeling about this?
06:14I guess so
06:16Well, since it's babes and bonnets that we're after it's a good thing. I brought my trusty instant camera. Oh, I don't understand him at all
06:37If you knew the way all along why did you say something excuse me, mr. Hero, don't be so dense
06:43Why did you think I was coming along with you? Anyway, because you were swayed by my awesome. Good looks, of course
06:48Oh
07:12Wow, it's a bunch of
07:19Oh
07:20You will tell me where the jewels on if you want me to stop you're going to have to tell me the secret of the jewels
07:29Then I guess I'll have to keep whipping you till you can
07:36Who the hell are you sorry, I don't give my name out to ugly dungeon fodder like you
07:41You son of a bitch
07:44Are you alright miss Sheila a captured warrior from strawberry fields and who are you?
07:50He's Takeru Yamato the hero of the prophecy Queen Nana has sent us here to defeat the dragon knight and return the jewels
07:56Oh, I see. That's very nice
07:58But could you untie these ropes before you leave in a minute in a minute, but first let's preserve this priceless moment on celluloid
08:12Sure gets scary sometimes
08:32I have one jewel, but the rest are spread among each level of the tower
08:36The Queen will be needing a full report. So I'll head back to the castle strawberry fields forever
08:42Hey, wait, can I get your measurements and phone number first?
08:55I
08:59Can't believe I'm Joseph a couple of lounge lizards. It's a filthy human. Are you going to fuck with us?
09:05No, just kill you. I'm going to turn you into a pair of matching
09:15You perverts look great the size
09:23You're here to rescue them nothing else you're right, of course, whatever was I thinking of
09:35Who are you I'm Takeru Yamato the Queen sent me to rescue you and you are my name is Jane
09:42But why is your hand where it is?
09:55Come on lighten up Luna. I told you I'm not mad at you. You pervert you say you're not but you are you know
10:02It's not as if I'm supposed to get permission from you or anything like that. I'm a free agent. I
10:08Think you're just a bossy type person. Is it that right?
10:16Luna Luna
10:21Where'd you go
10:23Each of those girls brought back one jewel Takeru is doing much better than I expected
10:28I guess maybe he is the hero of the prophecy
10:32My prophecies have never been wrong before my queen
10:36Only three jewels left to go Godspeed Takeru. We await your safe return
10:43Who are you
10:46I see you are as feisty and beautiful as we were told
10:50We are the vassals of the Lord of the Dragon Knights. I am the knight known as the Green Dragon
10:55I have come to question you
10:57But first I offer you a choice your majesty
11:01Give us the answers we seek and I shall guarantee that nothing too repulsive will befall you
11:10I wish you were here
11:20Boy this is getting rather repetitive
11:27Oh
11:34Now my lady queen you shall tell us everything
11:38What is the secret of these jewels and who is this hero known as Takeru?
11:42I have no words for filth like you do your worst
11:45Well, I can certainly respect that your majesty
11:48But I cannot help but wonder how long you'll hold that regal pose once my associate begins to do his thing
11:58You
12:01Pay for this insult your royal orbs are magnificent. I believe that I would like to touch them
12:13Who knew the royal tongue could be so vulgar what other tidbits might we uncover
12:18What
12:25Royal splendor, are you ready to dick her now?
12:37So you are Takeru your little escapades have really put a hair up the great overlords, but
12:43Hmm am I to assume that you're his proctologist then you smell like it
12:48Will you stop with your macho posturing and kill the foul villain? I'm blushing to the tips of my toes
12:54Hmm, so I see
12:56All right, I could use a little exercise. Huh? Now you shall experience the awesome power of the Dragon Knights
13:13The notion of a mere human defeating one of my kind is laughable green dragon attack him
13:30Your futile evasions only serve to piss me off
13:33He's slow but that dragon's flame could really burn my escort
13:39I need a plan
13:42All right, hi Heidi, I'm going to rescue you now
13:48How is hiding behind that column going to rescue her dragon to the right
13:55I've got it now
13:57I've got it now
14:05Dragon to the left
14:07I
14:14Don't believe it. Oh, baby. I'll take the big one first
14:26You're next that's why
14:37Oh