Sponge Bob S03E18b Missing Identity
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TVTranscript
00:00Oh no, I lost my pen.
00:19You can borrow mine.
00:20Thanks.
00:21I lost something once.
00:25I lost something I couldn't live without.
00:29I lost my identity.
00:33So anyway, thanks for the pen.
00:34No problem, honey.
00:35It all started last week, Monday morning to be exact, the day I lost my identity.
00:44I gotta go.
00:47Good morning, world, and all who inhabit it.
00:55Gary, help!
00:56I can't see!
00:57Gary!
00:58Gary, are you there?
00:59Gary, Gary, buddy, I need you to see my eyes, okay?
01:08Am I near the bathroom?
01:11Gary?
01:12GARY.
01:13GARY!
01:14Now that my horrific incident of terror is over, I think I'll go get that pen back.
01:26Now that my horrific incident of terror is over, how about some breakfast?
01:30The most important meal of the day.
01:33Serving it up, Gary's way. Pop! Enjoy, buddy.
01:38You know, I've been feeding this to Gary for years and I don't even know what it tastes like.
01:53What is it, Peterson?
01:54I'm not sure. I feel a disturbance.
01:58That was the worst thing I've ever tasted.
02:01Oh well, at least I'll never have to do it again.
02:04Barnacles! All these shenanigans make me late for work.
02:10Uh-oh.
02:13All right!
02:17Hi, SpongeBob.
02:19Hi, Patrick.
02:22La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!
02:25La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!
02:28La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...
02:33Wait a minute. When exactly did you lose your identity?
02:37Yeah, and who's Patrick?
02:39Why did you eat snail poe?
02:42Ah-ah-ah. Patience, good people. A great story can't be rushed.
02:46However, I will skip ahead to the Krusty Krab.
02:50Order up!
02:54One Krabby Patty grilled with the fiery warmth of my beating heart. Enjoy.
03:00Thanks.
03:06Is there a problem?
03:07Well, you really should be wearing a name tag so I can thank you properly.
03:12While it is against my philosophy to disagree with the customer,
03:16I must point out that I am in fact wearing a name tag. Right here.
03:25Huh?
03:36Oh, Squidward, it's terrible. It's the most terrible thing that's ever happened to me.
03:41I lost my name tag.
03:46Four quads!
03:48SpongeBob, take it easy. I'm sure you can get a new one.
03:52But I don't want a new one, Squidward. My name tag is out there somewhere.
03:57Lost. Hungry. Who will help it?
04:01What if someone's using it?
04:04All right, nobody move! This is a bank robbery!
04:09Annika!
04:13I'm innocent, I tell ya!
04:21Squidward, what happened?
04:23Oh, you fainted because you lost your name tag or something.
04:32SpongeBob, will you get a hold of yourself? Since when is losing your name tag the end of the world?
04:38Attention, all employees! Just a quick heads up, boys.
04:43There's gonna be a surprise uniform inspection in one hour.
04:47Anyone who doesn't pass gets the boot.
04:53This boot, to be exact. It's very stinky, and you'll have to wear it all day.
04:58See you in an hour.
05:00Help!
05:05SpongeBob, if you really want to find your name tag, just retrace your steps.
05:11Retrace my steps?
05:14Squidward, you're a genius!
05:17A genius? Well, I don't know about that, but...
05:21Cover me till I get back, okay?
05:23Oh, sure, sure. A genius? Well, how about... Hey!
05:27Let's see. If I'm gonna retrace my steps, I gotta remember everything I did this morning.
05:32Hi, SpongeBob!
05:34Oh, hi, Patrick! You said hi to me this morning, right?
05:37As I do every morning.
05:39Well, I need you to do it again.
05:41That wasn't part of the deal, SquarePants!
05:43Patrick, what are you talking about?
05:45My hellos are just some tape recording that you can rewind and play over and over. They're special!
05:53Patrick, this is an emergency. I lost my name tag this morning, and I need to retrace my steps.
05:59You lost your name tag?
06:05Okay, Patrick. You know the plan, right?
06:08I got it, I got it.
06:10You're gonna retrace your steps, and when you walk by me, I say hi, just like this morning.
06:17Perfect!
06:18I guess I should start with when I woke up.
06:21I sure hope this works.
06:25Good morning, world, and all who inhabit it.
06:33So far, so good.
06:40I don't see my name tag up here.
06:44Now that my horrific incident of terror is over, how about some breakfast?
06:48The most important meal of the day, serving it up Gary's way.
06:56Okay, next I just have to walk outside and say hi to Patrick.
07:04Patrick!
07:05What?
07:06You were supposed to say hi to me!
07:10Hi.
07:12Alright, let's take it from the top.
07:15Hi, Spider-Bob.
07:17Don't forget your line this time!
07:20I won't!
07:22Good morning, world, and all who inhabit it.
07:27The most important meal of the day, Gary's way.
07:35Patrick, why didn't you say hi to me?
07:38What's my motivation?
07:40Forget the motivation. Just say hi.
07:45Hi, Patrick.
07:50Hi, Patrick.
07:51No, wait!
07:52I'm Patrick. I'm sorry, sorry.
07:55I'm sorry. Let's try it again.
08:04Hi, SpongeBob.
08:06There's SpongeBob?
08:07What?
08:10Who's SpongeBob?
08:11SpongeBob?
08:13I said SpongeBob!
08:15Again, again. Sorry, people.
08:22The most important meal of the day, Gary's way.
08:28I got the giggles.
08:30Oh, what's the use?
08:32I'll never find my name tag in time for inspection.
08:36Well, what did you do after I said hi to you this morning?
08:41Let's see. I skipped merrily to the Krusty Krab.
08:44Said hello to Old Man Jenkins.
08:46Hi, Mr. J.
08:48Placed an apple on Mr. Krabs' desk.
08:51And that's about it.
08:53Oh, and these two guys threw me in the dumpster.
08:58Good one, guys.
09:02That's it!
09:03Your name tag is in the apple on Mr. Krabs' desk.
09:07Patrick, you're a genius.
09:09Oh, wait. He's probably thrown it away by now.
09:12Then we'll look in the dumpster.
09:20What is that stench?
09:22That is the stench of discovery.
09:25Come on, buddy. I'll give you a boost.
09:28Hop on, pal.
09:30Yep, pal.
09:32Hey, it's not so bad once you get used to it.
09:35I wish I had a nose.
09:37Come on in, buddy. The garbage is fine.
09:40Cannonball!
09:48You look over there, and I'll look over here.
09:50Okay.
09:55Patrick.
09:57I'm working. I'm working.
09:58Patrick.
10:00Patrick.
10:01I'm working as fast as I can.
10:03Patrick!
10:08Thank you.
10:09Here, let me get that.
10:11Hey, look. A Stingray 5000 single.
10:15These guys rock.
10:17Why would anybody throw this away?
10:20Have you forgotten you've been looking for
10:22knee-deep in yesterday's Top 40 songs?
10:26Yes.
10:27I'll give you a hint.
10:28Two words.
10:29First word, my.
10:31Second word, name tag.
10:34Can I have another hint?
10:38Patrick, I would love to sit here and play 20 questions with you,
10:42but I've only got one minute until inspection.
10:45One minute?
10:47Hurry, Patrick. We don't have much time.
10:51No.
10:55Hey, SpongeBob.
10:56Not now, Patrick.
10:58I know where your name tag is.
11:00Where? Where?
11:03I can't remember.
11:04Patrick, I don't have time for this.
11:07There it is.
11:08Where?
11:10I forgot again.
11:12Patrick, are you with me or against me?
11:15Could you give me a hint?
11:18There. I see it.
11:19Yeah, yeah, yeah. The boy who cried name tag.
11:23If you're not going to help me,
11:24then just go crawl back under your rock.
11:27Well, at least I don't wear my shirt backwards.
11:31My shirt backwards?
11:33What the...
11:36My shirt's on backwards.
11:38I had my identity all along.
11:43Oh, and just in time.
11:45Thanks, Patrick.
11:46No mention it, buddy.
11:50Fall in for inspection.
11:53All right, you two.
11:57That uniform seemed to be in order.
11:59Hmm.
12:01Promise me you'll shave tonight and you pass.
12:04Hoorah.
12:07Okay, boy. Your turn.
12:09I think you'll find everything ship shape.
12:14Jellyfish, what's that stench?
12:18Discovery.
12:22And that's how I got my identity back.
12:25Well, that's my story.
12:30Well, you managed to kill 11 minutes.
12:34Thanks...
12:36Betty.
12:38What? Oh!
12:39Sweetie, I'm not Betty.
12:41I just borrowed a uniform while mine's at the...