• 5 months ago
Sponge Bob S03E20b The Camping Episode

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TV
Transcript
00:00Ah, finally, the weekend is here, and this isn't just any old weekend, this is the weekend
00:09Spongebob and Patrick go camping.
00:11Wouldn't it be great if they got lost in the woods and never came back?
00:17Patrick, I'm scared.
00:19Oh, that would be great.
00:23You've waited a long time for this, a soft bed, warm tea, a good book, and two whole
00:31days with no...
00:32What the...
00:33Spongebob, aren't you two supposed to be camping?
00:44We are camping.
00:46Spongebob, it's not camping if you're ten feet from your house.
00:50It doesn't matter where you are as long as you're outdoors.
00:55While all those soft city folk are safe in their beds reading books, we're out here pitting
01:00ourselves against the formidable forces of nature.
01:04You want to join us?
01:05No.
01:06Okay, have fun inside.
01:08What do you mean, have fun inside?
01:13Just have fun inside.
01:15See you tomorrow.
01:16Oh.
01:17Bye.
01:19You little sneak.
01:21I see what you're doing.
01:23What?
01:24Don't think I can't see what you're doing.
01:27Why?
01:28You're saying I can't take it.
01:31But all I...
01:33You're saying I'm soft.
01:35You think your little have fun inside challenge is going to make me come camping with you.
01:41But that is never going to happen.
01:44There's no way I'm going to sit out here all night with you two losers.
01:49So get used to it.
01:52Okay.
01:53Have fun inside.
01:54That's it.
01:55I'm in.
01:56I'll show you camping.
01:57Squidward's going to come camping with us.
02:06Now you'll see how a real outdoorsman does it.
02:12Here we are.
02:14My remote-controlled self-assembling tent.
02:18Watch and learn.
02:27That was great, Squidward.
02:28But how do you get inside?
02:29Yeah, it's all crushy looking.
02:30It isn't put up yet, you idiots.
02:31Customization.
02:32Genius.
02:33He's tenderizing the ground.
02:46Of course.
02:52Right there.
02:53Down.
02:54Right there.
02:55Down.
02:56Voila.
02:57But what could compare to just lying out under the stars?
03:11Well, I've worked up an appetite as big as all outdoors.
03:19Time for a little grub.
03:21I suppose you two are going to stew up some twigs and rocks, right?
03:26Nope.
03:27We got something even better.
03:29Marshmallows.
03:30Just like the astronauts eat.
03:37Patrick to SpongeBob.
03:39Patrick to SpongeBob, do you read me?
03:43Over.
03:44SpongeBob to Patrick, I read you.
03:49Over.
03:50Patrick to SpongeBob, I like going...
03:52Over.
03:53SpongeBob to Patrick.
03:54Patrick. Me too. SpongeBob to Patrick, help yourself, over. Yummy. Patrick to SpongeBob,
04:12the deliciousness has landed. Well, you two astronauts can eat marshmallows. I'm going
04:20to have a can of Swedish Barnacle Balls just as soon as I can get my can opener. But Squidward,
04:27didn't you take a can opener when you hiked out here? Why would I bother? We're 10 feet
04:32from my house. But this is the wilderness. It just doesn't seem to fit the camping spirit.
04:38Pretty weeny. All right, all right. Give me a marshmallow.
05:08Okay, besides spitting molten foodstuffs at me, what else do you do for fun? Well,
05:22after a long day of camping, it's nice to unwind with a nice relaxing campfire song.
05:30I call this one the campfire song song. Let's gather around the campfire and sing our campfire
05:37song. Our C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G song. And if you don't think that we can sing it faster,
05:48then you're wrong. But it'll help if you just sing along. C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G song. C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G
06:04song. And if you don't think that we can sing it faster, then you're wrong. But it'll help if you
06:07just sing along. C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G song. That's it. Quick word. Good. It'll help. It'll
06:21help if you just sing along. Oh, yeah. Now, wasn't that relaxing? No, this is relaxing.
06:40Oh, no. I'll save you, Squidward. Squidward, are you all right? That's it. Chew, chew and swallow.
07:01There. Better? Better. I was just fine until you launched that ballistic junk food
07:07into my windpipe. But I had to. It's too dangerous to play the clarinet badly out here
07:13in the wilderness. It might attract a sea bear. A sea bear? You mean like the ones that don't exist?
07:25What are you saying? There's no such thing. They're just a myth. Oh, no, Squidward. Sea bears
07:32are all too real. It says so in the Bikini Bottom Inquirer. I'm married a sea bear. Yeah,
07:39and think science monthly. Sea bears and fairy tales are real? That's the stupidest thing I've
07:47ever heard. Well, maybe it is stupid, but it's also dumb. Patrick's right, Squidward. Sea bears
07:55are no laughing matter. Why, once I met this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this
08:00guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who
08:05knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this
08:09guy who knew this guy who knew this guy's cousin. You're right. I should be more careful. In fact,
08:17why don't you tell me all of the things I shouldn't do if I want to keep the sea bears away?
08:24Okay, that's easy. First off, don't play the clarinet. Okay, then what? Never wave your
08:29flashlight back and forth really fast. Flashlights are their natural prey. You're kidding. Don't
08:34stomp around. They take that as a challenge. Yeah, go on. Don't ever eat cheese. Sliced or cubed?
08:43Cubed. Sliced is fine. Yeah, yeah. And? Never wear a sombrero. In a goofy fashion. Or clown shoes.
08:50Or a hoop skirt. And never. Ever. Ever. Screech like a chimpanzee. Wow, it's amazing how many
09:00things can set a sea bear off. And suddenly I have the sense we're all in danger. Why? I don't know.
09:14Just a feeling. No. Yes. No. Squidward, please don't.
09:29SpongeBob, what are we going to do? A sea bear is sure to come and eat us.
09:33Don't worry, Patrick. I'll draw us an anti-sea bear circle in the dirt.
09:38Good thinking. All the experts say it's the only defense against a sea bear attack.
09:46You guys are so gullible. See? I did everything that attracts a sea bear and nothing happened.
09:55If sea bears really exist, why didn't one show up? Maybe it's because you're not wearing your
10:01sombrero in a goofy fashion. Oh, sorry. How silly of me. You mean like this?
10:14No, like that.
10:31Squidward, are you okay? No. Quick, jump inside our anti-sea bear circle before he comes back.
10:41Yeah, sea bears often attack more than once. Are you crazy? A dirt circle won't stop that monster.
10:49I'm running for my life.
10:52Don't run. Sea bears hate that.
10:54Thanks for the tip. I guess I'll just limp home then.
10:56No!
11:18They hate limping more than running.
11:21Well, I guess I'll just have to...
11:30I should have warned you about crawling.
11:38What'd I do that time? I don't know. I guess he just doesn't like you.
11:44Pretend to be somebody else. Here, draw a circle.
11:48Okay.
11:57That was an oval. It has to be a circle. Move over!
12:03Hey, it worked. You guys saved my life.
12:24Yeah, I'm glad it was just a sea bear. This circle would never hold back a sea rhinoceros.
12:31What attracts them? The sound of a sea bear attack.
12:37Good thing we're all wearing our anti-

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