First broadcast 14th February 2014.
Lee Mack
Simon Foster
Emily Grossman
David Wharton
John Sergeant
Olivia Colman
Rhod Gilbert
Paul Hollywood
Atsushi Senju
Richard Stephens
Lee Mack
Simon Foster
Emily Grossman
David Wharton
John Sergeant
Olivia Colman
Rhod Gilbert
Paul Hollywood
Atsushi Senju
Richard Stephens
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Hello and welcome to Duck, Wax, Go Echo. This is a show where we reveal some of the most
00:23amazing facts you've never heard of. Each of our guests have come armed with their own
00:27favourite facts, which we will put to the test under rigorous conditions to decide whose
00:31is the best. So before we hear the facts, let's see who's joining us tonight. A fact
00:36about my first guest is that she first came to fame in Peep Show, which is strange because
00:41I've visited most of them and I've never seen her. Please welcome Olivia Colman. An interesting
00:50fact about my next guest is that he was once bitten by a police dog. Little tip, next time
00:55let the dog lick his own balls. It's true. Please welcome Rob Gilbert. And a fact about
01:05my final guest is that he comes from the Wirral and he's made his name in bread. So, in bread
01:11from the Wirral, please welcome Paul Hollywood. So this is a show all about unbelievable and
01:20slightly bizarre facts. For example, it is possible to flip an egg in a shot glass without
01:25touching the egg. I don't understand. Have one of these each. Are these hard boiled?
01:31Find out, smash it on your head. Now these are soft boiled eggs. Now the reason we've
01:35put some blue on the top is because this works but you can't sometimes see the egg flipping
01:39it so quick. So you'll see that the egg flips. So, do you know how to flip that egg over
01:44without touching it? Can you touch the glass? That is one way of doing it. Let me rephrase
02:05the question. Do you think there's a way of doing this without breaking the egg? Yeah,
02:09the first time I did it. The trick with this one is that all you have to do is blow. You
02:16can hold the glass just to stop it blowing away but you're not actually causing anything.
02:19You just blow down the side of the egg like this. Ooh, let's try that again. Let's try
02:25that again. Alright. At least it didn't break. Well, theirs wasn't broken yet. Why don't
02:29you give them a round of applause? And they did. They did. They did, we had a nice audience.
02:50The trick is to blow down the side bit. And it's got to be a short, sharp, like. It kind
02:58of goes like this. This is the reason why if there's a strong wind near Ross Kemp, his
03:01head will literally just go like that. It's incredible. Just put that back. Just put that
03:07back. Okay, it's time for our first round to commence. We've asked all the guests to
03:16bring in a fact that they really love, but whose is best? It's time for round one, fact
03:21off. Okay, Olivia, your fact is first up, so what have you got for us? My fact is that
03:31dogs catch human yawns. You're not mixing up the word human yawns with rabies, are you?
03:38I might be. So when you say they catch human yawns, what do you mean? A dog is able to
03:43empathise with its human. And so, I know. If their owner is tired, they start to feel,
03:51sort of, act tired. And if a human yawns, they'll yawn. And I did have an old boyfriend
03:55with a dog who used to grin when he met you. Because they are boyfriends. Humans would
03:59show teeth when happy, so the dog would do that. Was it, did the boyfriend grin at you
04:05and then he would copy? Because I found that a bit freaky. I think that's aggression when
04:09a dog grins, though. That's their bearing their teeth, isn't it? Well, this one, apparently,
04:13he assured me that it was. The ex-boyfriend assured you he was trying to be friendly?
04:19Yeah. The old, he's showing your teeth, yeah. As a man who's been bitten by a dog, that
04:23was the mistake I made. Oh. Yeah, they said, he's just being friendly. Look at him smiling,
04:26they said, as he hacked into my leg over and over again. I would actually agree with that
04:30on the other way around, actually, because what you're saying is if you yawn, the dog
04:34would copy that. Yeah, yeah. I do it the other way around when my dog yawns. Yeah. But we
04:39do, people, you can't help it, a yawn goes round, so I like the idea that dogs do the
04:44same thing. All animals yawn when another one yawns. Any animal. I've yawned at my budgie
04:48and he's never done anything. I had a goldfish that would yawn at you if you yawned at him.
04:52Really? Did he drown? Yeah. Sadly, he did. When a fish opens its mouth, there's water
05:00going over its gills, isn't there, where it takes the nutrients and it pops out the other
05:03gills. I suppose it would be taking in more water, quickly. Isn't it a survival of the
05:06fittest thing, where you're meant to, if they're taking all the oxygen, I want some oxygen.
05:09Isn't that why you all yawn? Oh, is that what it is? Maybe it's that, yeah, hang on, I'm
05:13having oxygen. Is oxygen finite, then? Well, you all need it, so somehow in your, I don't
05:20know, subconscious, it's... Is oxygen finite? Yeah, but I mean, what I'm saying is, if someone
05:25yawns in a room, do people panic and go, I'll have some of that? Is it like the last sausage
05:29roll at a buffet? Are they all going, he's having the last sausage roll, I want that.
05:32I wouldn't call the last sausage roll at a buffet a life and death situation, though,
05:35I know you would. Yeah, well, where I'm from, it really was. That's fight or flight, is
05:40it, the last sausage roll at a buffet? Yeah, I lost three brothers at a buffet this afternoon.
05:45Easily done. We've all had our say, but all of our facts have to be tested, so let's see
05:49the experiment. Tired, overworked, bored. Yawning is an involuntary action, and it's
06:05common knowledge that if someone yawns at you, you'll probably yawn back. But is it
06:11really the same for dogs? What we needed to do was to track down one of the world's leading
06:17psychology experts. So what does the expert think? Oh, hang on, we're going to need subtitles
06:24for this. That's better. So when dogs are yawning, they're yawning because they're
06:55actually empathising with us. Let's put that to the test. We needed a dog and a volunteer
07:03happy to yawn in dogs' faces. Meet Dizzy and Neil, Crufts champion, 2007. We needed to
07:10make sure Neil was tired enough to yawn a lot, so we ensured he didn't sleep for a whole
07:17night. With a sleep-deprived Neil, we were ready for the test. All Neil had to do was
07:28yawn in Dizzy's face. Success! But that's just one dog. To find out if it also worked
07:36on dogs Neil had never met before, we sent him to a fun dog show to get up close and
07:48personal with more pooches. We took a sample of dogs of different breeds and repeated the
07:57same test. Initially, the dogs would not play ball. They would play hide-and-seek with each
08:05other. Excuse the pun. I need bigger muscles. That was until... Good guy. And from then
08:24on, the yawns came thick and fast. Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
08:35Just did it. Just did a huge one. So there you have it. If you yawn at a dog, there's
08:56a good chance the dog will yawn back. So that was a little bit of stuff about how good is
09:03Right, but how good is it? Rod and Paul, based on what you've seen, on a scale of 1 to 10, what mark are you going to give Olivia's fact? Paul.
09:10I don't think it's empathy. I think they're just literally mimicking. It's not empathy of the person being tired. And because of that, I'll say 6.
09:20But the fact was that dogs catch... Are we in the wording of what Olivia said?
09:25I don't think they're saying catch like it's an illness.
09:27But that's what you said, catch human yawn.
09:29I think it's catch in inverted commas, right? They mean the expression catch in a yawn is when someone yawns and you catch it, don't you?
09:33I've never seen catch in inverted commas before.
09:35Well, didn't you see the...
09:37Like if a dog catches a frisbee, is that an inverted commas or not?
09:39What you didn't see out of shot was the dog going like this.
09:41I just...
09:43You yawn.
09:45That's what he's doing.
09:47I think it's true that a dog yawns when you yawn. Other animals yawn when one animal yawns.
09:52So, is that the fact?
09:54That's the fact.
09:56I'm going to give it 10.
09:58Hang on, is this a competition? Am I in this to win it?
10:00I'll give it 4.
10:024 out of 10 is my final offer.
10:04Okay, you're going to go for 4?
10:064 out of 10.
10:08It's not cash in the attic.
10:10I'll give it 9 then, I'll give it 9.
10:129 or 4.
10:14I wouldn't mind.
10:16You know when a man doesn't know his own mind?
10:18Does anyone have to give it 9 or 4?
10:209 please.
10:22You're going to give it a 9, Paul you gave it a...
10:24I'm going to go for 6.
10:26Why are you giving it 6?
10:28Because I don't think it's empathy.
10:30Olivia didn't say it was empathy, did you say it was empathy?
10:32Olivia did say it was empathy.
10:34Did you?
10:36Oh, you're a fucking idiot. 3.
10:44It's not empathy.
10:46You're a bloody idiot.
10:48So we're going to have 3 off-rod
10:50and Paul's going to go for a more definite, sure of himself,
10:52not going to have an identity crisis, 6.
10:54I'll give it a 6 as well.
10:56Okay.
10:58Isn't it weird after all that you had empathy with him
11:00and you've gone with the same as him?
11:02Yeah, exactly. You gave a 6, I thought I'd better do the same.
11:04They're both going for 6.
11:06I get to score as well
11:08and I'm going to go for...
11:10I'm going to go with a group
11:12and I'm going to say 6 as well.
11:14We've empathised.
11:16So let's add that up
11:18and see what the scores are.
11:20Olivia Colman, you'll be pleased to hear you're winning with 18 points.
11:22You're winning.
11:24Top of that leaderboard.
11:26So we've had our first guest fattened
11:28but there are still two more caucus to come.
11:30See you after the break when Rod Gilbert
11:32will be offering up his favourite fact.
11:34Don't go anywhere, unless you need to go to the toilet,
11:36in which case, definitely go to the toilet.
11:42Welcome back to Facts Don't Echo,
11:44a show about odd facts that equips you with the ultimate small talk
11:46to survive any awkward situation.
11:48Still with me are Olivia Colman, Rod Gilbert and Paul Hollywood.
11:54Before the break, Olivia scored 18 points with her fact
11:56about dogs being able to catch human yawns.
11:58Rod Gilbert, you're up next.
12:00Do you think you can top Olivia's fact?
12:02Well...
12:06I don't know.
12:08What is your fact?
12:10That a shrimp...
12:14You're not going to take it seriously,
12:16I'm not going to bother with it, Paul.
12:22Try and undermine my shrimp story.
12:24Shrimps are...
12:26in every way fitter than a human being.
12:28Faster, stronger, you know,
12:30fitter generally.
12:32In what respects are they fitter then?
12:34I just told you, in every way.
12:36They're not fitter in the fore, look at the mandibles on that, are they?
12:40They are to them, yes.
12:42Are they fitter than shrimps?
12:44Any human being and any shrimp?
12:46Or is this the elite shrimps?
12:48You take a sport, they would beat any human out there.
12:50Are they fitter than ants?
12:52Because ants can lift things hundreds of pounds.
12:54Ants are very good at lifting things, but they are not...
12:56And they carry it for miles.
12:58No, no, they haven't got the stamina of a shrimp.
13:00Oh, really?
13:02Did you prove that?
13:04I could prove it, yeah.
13:06Bring in my animals.
13:08Is it easily comparable, human fitness and shrimp fitness?
13:10Well, we're going to have to test it.
13:12Before we do, let's find out
13:14the science of why shrimps are so fit.
13:16So, apparently the average shrimp
13:18is super fit and super fast.
13:20According to marine biologists,
13:22a shrimp's top speed
13:24has been calculated
13:26at 1.2 kilometres per hour.
13:28The reason shrimps are so fast
13:30is because when they're in the water
13:32they're constantly battling against currents
13:34and therefore always moving,
13:36making them excellent runners.
13:38Shrimps can run fast,
13:40but according to those marine biologists,
13:42they can keep going for three hours at top speed
13:44before they need to stop.
13:46So, good luck to whoever thinks
13:48they can take on a shrimp.
13:50APPLAUSE
13:52So, that's the lowdown on the shrimp,
13:54but there's only one way to see
13:56if your fact stands up, Rob.
13:58So, we're going to do that with a simple average man
14:00versus shrimp fitness test.
14:02Rob, get yourself off that treadmill.
14:04Am I the simple average man?
14:06You're not average, but...
14:08I don't want to race it. I know he's going to win.
14:10He's going to thrash me, I've been told.
14:12Oh, that's fighting talk.
14:14No, but this is my fact. I know how fast and fit they are.
14:16Yeah, but if you beat him, then it's proving that your fact isn't true.
14:18We're not trying to make you look ridiculous.
14:20But why would I want to try and prove it to make my own fact not true?
14:22I was going to say put that around your head,
14:24but do you want to put it around your mouth?
14:26Listen, I get points for proving that that is fitter than me.
14:28Yes.
14:30So, what's the point of me trying to beat him
14:32and then disproving myself and losing all the points?
14:34All right.
14:36Is he just a regular, normal shrimp?
14:38No, no, it's Frank Bruno under there.
14:40He's going to punch you in the face.
14:42Let's have a look.
14:44It's time to meet your opponent.
14:48We'd like to thank Ant & Dec for lending us their treadmill.
14:52There he is, look.
14:54OK, here are the rules of the test.
14:56To make this a fair experiment
14:58between our average man and our average shrimp,
15:00we need to work out the maximum speeds
15:02both need to run.
15:04Here's a scientist to tell us how we do this.
15:08If you want to compare the running skills of a shrimp
15:10to a human being,
15:12we need to take into account the difference in size.
15:14We know that a shrimp can run at 1.2 kilometres per hour.
15:18Using this, along with the length of the shrimp,
15:20we can calculate that the average person
15:22would need to run at 18 kilometres per hour.
15:2418 kilometres per hour.
15:32Right, that's the science, as you can see.
15:34We've started the treadmill,
15:36and so the shrimp is already at 1.2 kilometres an hour,
15:38which for him is full speed.
15:40OK, Rod's going to get...
15:42You're already going on, I think that's four miles an hour,
15:44so we're going to get you going to the equivalent
15:46of 18 kilometres an hour,
15:48which is equal to the prawn. Are you ready?
15:50This is ridiculous. I feel like I've opened
15:52a whole new world.
15:54Right, are you ready? I'm going to take you up now
15:56to 18.
15:58Here we go.
16:00It's how fast he's going, is it?
16:02The equivalent of, yeah.
16:04Right, here we go.
16:06Get ready to grab these sides if you fall.
16:08What?
16:10What happens now?
16:12Just keep going. It's going to get faster.
16:14Don't panic.
16:16Get ready to hold the sides, you guys.
16:18Go on, Simon! Come on!
16:20Oh!
16:22APPLAUSE
16:24Oh, God.
16:26Still going strong.
16:28Still going strong.
16:30APPLAUSE
16:32You've proved your fact.
16:34A shrimp really is fitter than an average human being.
16:36APPLAUSE
16:38MUSIC
16:40APPLAUSE
16:50So, we've tested Rod's facts.
16:52What do we think of that, Paul?
16:54Well, I can't argue.
16:56I mean, you're knackered now, aren't you?
16:58I don't exercise at all, though, and that was...
17:00I think you ought to have hit one there.
17:02You got away with it. It didn't show.
17:04You can keep that up for three hours.
17:06Paul, what are we going to give for marks for Rod?
17:08Well, I think he's proved the point.
17:10So I've got to give you nine.
17:12I never give ten, so I'll give you nine.
17:14You never give ten? Never.
17:16Remember this, folks, when you're on the bake-off.
17:18LAUGHTER
17:20That bread wasn't really too crusty.
17:22It's just his rules.
17:24I would say nine. Nine? A strong nine.
17:26I think it was an excellent experiment.
17:28Presentation? Presentation.
17:30Very high marks. Thank you.
17:32I'm going to say ten. A maximum of ten?
17:34Maximum ten.
17:36Also, you took a fall for everyone, which was...
17:38Oh, so it turns out it was just the sympathy vote.
17:40LAUGHTER
17:42I think Paul's right.
17:44I don't count you as an average man in any way.
17:46And I would say I'm going to give you a six.
17:48Why don't we run the test with you?
17:50Because I've always thought of you as incredibly average.
17:52LAUGHTER
17:54Thank you.
17:56APPLAUSE
18:00I would rather be average than less than average.
18:02That is better, isn't it?
18:04You know that average is better than less than average.
18:06LAUGHTER
18:10You get it fitter the more shoveling you do.
18:12So, let's add all that up.
18:14So, let's add all that up
18:16and see what it puts you on the leaderboard.
18:18That gave you 25 points.
18:20You're in the lead.
18:22You are better than average.
18:24That's what you are.
18:26Marginally better than average.
18:28Do you feel better as a human being now?
18:30All I said was you're incredibly average.
18:32Now, Paul, it's your turn. What have you got for us?
18:34My fact is, if you swear
18:36when you've hurt yourself,
18:38you raise your pain threshold.
18:40I mean, I've done it a couple of times.
18:42I was recently working on a motorbike,
18:44undoing a bolt, I slipped,
18:46my knuckle ran down the cog on the wheel
18:48and I said, shit!
18:50And then the pain seemed to dissipate.
18:52Because you let it out.
18:54It doesn't work if you swear all the time.
18:56If you swear all the time,
18:58then it sort of doesn't work.
19:00But if you don't swear regularly
19:02and you swear when you've hurt yourself,
19:04it raises your pain threshold
19:06and you don't feel the pain as much.
19:08Isn't it just an exclamation of any kind?
19:10Fruitcake!
19:14Wouldn't that achieve the same analgesic effect?
19:16I think it's the swearing
19:18because you're concentrating.
19:20You have to say a word
19:22that you're not really supposed to say.
19:24To be fair,
19:26I'd say fruitcake is a word you shouldn't be shouting at.
19:28If you're on the tube,
19:30you get more looks for shouting fruitcake
19:32than you would shit.
19:34Fruitcake!
19:36That could be a new swear word, couldn't it?
19:38I've used both those words.
19:40Shit fruitcake.
19:50Does the word matter?
19:52No.
19:54If you just have a paper cut,
19:56you might shout bumhole.
19:58But if you drop a piano on your head,
20:00you're knocking out the C-bomb.
20:02Good point there, isn't it?
20:04Does that create more of a...
20:06More of an impact on yourself
20:08because it shocks yourself.
20:10The bigger the swear word,
20:12the more pain you'll be able to take.
20:14Oh, really?
20:16I swear a lot.
20:18Do you swear in painful situations?
20:20All the time.
20:22You seem so nice, I can't imagine you swearing.
20:24I consider it a nice peppering of language.
20:26I like swearing.
20:28I wouldn't swear in anger.
20:30No, I would swear in anger.
20:32It would be weird if you wouldn't swear in anger.
20:34Oh, what a lovely little drawing you've done,
20:36you little fucker.
20:38That's worse, isn't it?
20:40That's much worse, isn't it?
20:42That's a bit like, ooh, she's a bit odd.
20:44I swore in labour and one of the midwives told me off.
20:46I thought it was a bit fucking rude, wasn't it?
20:50Could she? What did she say?
20:52She says, the child doesn't want to hear swearing.
20:56Well, the child should get out of my vagina.
20:58What's it doing in there?
21:00It seems to be crawling back up.
21:02Is that even mine?
21:06So, you've heard what this lot thinks,
21:08but it means nothing without a scientific experiment.
21:10Join us after the break, when we'll be highlighting
21:12the benefits of having a potty mouth.
21:14See you in a bit.
21:20Welcome back to Duck, Wax, Don't.
21:22Echo, the show that's all about learning things
21:24that you never thought you needed to know.
21:26Before the break, Paul Hollywood told us that swearing
21:28could be a good experiment.
21:30Now, I was quite happy to try this fact out in the studio
21:32with a hammer and our guests,
21:34but apparently that's not OK.
21:36So let's take a look at a proper experiment.
21:44We all know what it feels like to have an accident
21:46and let out some foul language.
21:48But can swearing really help us deal with pain?
21:52To find out the truth, we needed to speak to an expert.
21:54As people grow up,
21:56they learn to associate swearing
21:58with stressful emotional events.
22:00People have a stress response.
22:02We call it the fight-or-flight response,
22:04when you have a surge of adrenaline
22:06and a pain-relieving effect,
22:08which is called stress-induced analgesia.
22:10When we're in pain,
22:12it's a good strategy to swear
22:14because it can accelerate
22:16that natural form of pain relief.
22:18But does this work for absolutely everybody?
22:20If you swear a lot,
22:22you become habituated to swearing
22:24and it no longer has the same effect.
22:26So we need a group of angelic non-swearers.
22:30Meet primary school teacher Gillian,
22:32full-time librarian Matthew
22:34and retired clergyman David.
22:38I swear very infrequently.
22:40Blasphemy is what I don't like.
22:44I spend most of the day teaching children
22:46and obviously swearing just does not come into it.
22:48Worst word that I use is probably the word pants.
22:52That's a lovely lot.
22:54But in the interests of science,
22:56shouldn't we also test this on someone
22:58who swears like a trooper?
23:00We've got just the man.
23:02So you want me to do a f***ing
23:04full-blown f***ing f***ing experiment
23:06where you put me through f***ing pain?
23:08Perhaps not.
23:10We need a pain test agonising enough
23:12to make people turn the air blue
23:14but still socially acceptable
23:16so we can put it on TV.
23:18So, no punching
23:20and no pinching,
23:22no tattoos, no taboos
23:24and definitely nothing
23:26that an ex-clergyman wouldn't like.
23:30So our pain test is going to be
23:32deep tissue massage.
23:36A treatment so painful
23:38it can reduce the toughest
23:40of the tough to tears.
23:44Our group have to take as much pain
23:46as they can bear until they surrender.
23:48For test one,
23:50they each chose an abstract
23:52everyday word to use
23:54instead of swearing.
23:56I've chosen the word orange as my abstract word.
23:58I've chosen bubble as my word.
24:00Cake, because it's going to remind me
24:02of beautiful
24:04pink fluffy cupcakes.
24:06So how many minutes of pain were they able
24:08to tolerate when not swearing?
24:12Bubble!
24:14Orange!
24:16Each word seemed to be doing a job
24:18of sorts.
24:20But it wasn't long
24:22before Gillian's cake failed her
24:24Orange!
24:26as did Matthew's bubble.
24:28Orange!
24:30Orange!
24:32And finally, even ex-clergyman David
24:34succumbed to the pain.
24:38So without being able to swear at all,
24:40our group lasted
24:42a total of 9 minutes and 24 seconds
24:44between them.
24:46Before ordering them back to the tables,
24:48we gave our group time to recover
24:50to make sure the two
24:52tests were equal.
24:56This time our group were allowed to bloody well
24:58swear as much as they liked.
25:02But would it make any difference?
25:08It looked as painful as the first time round.
25:10Again, Gillian took an early exit.
25:16But this time, our man of the cloth
25:18bailed out second
25:20leaving Matthew
25:22effing and blinding
25:24until he could take no more.
25:30Together, our foul-mouthed trio
25:32had endured for an incredible
25:3413 minutes and 50 seconds
25:36which is an emphatic
25:38So,
25:40swearing really can increase
25:42your pain tolerance
25:44which is f***ing brilliant news.
25:50So, what do you think of that
25:52you bunch of pricks?
25:54Your theory was disproved,
25:56you could just shout out any word,
25:58cos he shouted out orange.
26:00Yeah, I think f*** is always going to be more aggressive than cake.
26:02They're a universal truth.
26:04You get both if you go to Greg's.
26:08LAUGHTER
26:10APPLAUSE
26:14OK, so we've tested Paul's fact.
26:16Olivia and Rod, it's time to give your marks
26:18out of ten, please.
26:20I don't want to give that a really good mark.
26:22You don't, or you do? I do, I do want to.
26:24And it was the most fun experiment.
26:26Yeah, it was. Seeing a vicar swear,
26:28I mean, that's just always a laugh.
26:30I loved it when, oh, Christ!
26:32So, even though you don't like giving tens,
26:34I'm going to give you a ten.
26:36See, it's a nice feeling, isn't it, when you get a ten?
26:38You should give some people tens.
26:40Have you never given a ten?
26:42Er, no.
26:44What do you have to do to get a ten?
26:46If Mary Berry baked for you, would you say ten?
26:50No.
26:52LAUGHTER
26:54Are you all right with receiving tens?
26:56Cos if it's painful, I'll give you a ten,
26:58you shout f*** at the same time.
27:00After three. One, two, three.
27:02Yes!
27:04Are you going to go for a ten?
27:06Rob's given it a ten, Olivia's given it a ten.
27:08Blimey, I'm going to have to give it a...
27:10ten.
27:12Let's have a look at the leaderboard.
27:14APPLAUSE
27:16Paul Hollywood, 30 points.
27:18Look at that.
27:20Paul is leading the way with 30 points,
27:22but that could all change in our next round.
27:24It's a chance for our celebrities to bag some extra points
27:26to try and win the show.
27:28Time for round two, it's Fact Finder.
27:30APPLAUSE
27:32It's not just my guests who can win facts,
27:34we've also asked our studio audience
27:36to bring in their favourite two.
27:38During the break, Olivia, Rod and Paul
27:40each picked out the one fact that they think is the best
27:42and will win them the most points.
27:44Right, Olivia, you're going first.
27:46Which audience member do you think has a fact
27:48that could win this round for you?
27:50Am I allowed to already qualify
27:52why I've chosen it?
27:54Please do. I'm not sure that it's true,
27:56it's just the funniest one.
27:58Matt Johnson.
28:00Matt Johnson, where are you?
28:02Hello.
28:04What is your fact?
28:06A beaver's anus tastes like raspberry.
28:08LAUGHTER
28:10I love it.
28:12A beaver's anus tastes like raspberry.
28:14Apparently so.
28:16I thought you said a bee's anus.
28:18A bee's?
28:20Never, never put your tongue near a bee's anus.
28:22LAUGHTER
28:24That's rule number one.
28:26A beaver, that's fine.
28:28How do they know?
28:30That's the main question, how do you know?
28:32A friend of mine, whenever he drinks...
28:34Yeah, it's always a friend, isn't it?
28:36A friend of mine dressed as a beaver. Sorry, carry on.
28:38It's his interesting fact, every time he has a drink
28:40he has to say that a beaver's anus tastes like raspberry.
28:42Well, it's ironic, actually.
28:44I've tried a couple of fruit tarts on bake-off
28:46topped with raspberries that actually taste like a beaver's anus.
28:48LAUGHTER
28:50APPLAUSE
28:54Paul, how do you know?
28:56His mate told me.
28:58LAUGHTER
29:00So, what do we think? Are we thinking there's any...
29:02Obviously, Olivia definitely feels that could be true.
29:04I don't care if it's not true, I just think it's funny.
29:06I think it's got to not be true
29:08because surely a beaver's anus tastes like shit.
29:10LAUGHTER
29:12Doesn't it?
29:14I agree with Olivia that a beaver's anus would probably
29:16err in the direction of shit rather than raspberry.
29:18LAUGHTER
29:20Who knows? Stranger things have happened.
29:22That's what we all think of Olivia's chosen audience members fact
29:24as we've only just heard them.
29:26So, instead, we've recruited a special panel
29:28of scientific brain boxes.
29:30Please welcome rocket scientist Dr Simon Foster,
29:32expert in cell biology and genetics,
29:34Dr Emily Grossman,
29:36and chemical engineer David Wharton,
29:38otherwise known as The Verifiers.
29:40APPLAUSE
29:44Have you got any initial opinions
29:46about this fact?
29:48Well, yeah.
29:50Whether or not they taste like raspberry,
29:52I don't know.
29:54But what I do know is this,
29:56that beavers are hunted nearly to extinction
29:58not just for their fur,
30:00but for a gland near the anus of the beaver
30:02that produces an oil called castoretum.
30:04Now, this oil
30:06was used in perfumery
30:08and when it's distilled
30:10it produces some chemicals that we would call
30:12phenols, ketones
30:14and aldehydes.
30:16And they all have very strong flavours
30:18and strong smells.
30:20So, this oil was used in perfumery
30:22and actually as a food additive.
30:24So, I do think
30:26it's partially right, yeah.
30:28This gland was taken and was used
30:30in perfumery and in food additives.
30:32Whether it's raspberry, I don't know
30:34and these don't even make it synthetically.
30:36I think that's pretty much...
30:38Well, I chose it
30:40mainly because I thought it can't be true
30:42and it was just too funny.
30:44But now it turns out that there's every chance
30:46that a bit of gland juice can come out the anus
30:48and it is quite impressively nice.
30:50So, we'll score at the end
30:52once we've heard everyone's fact.
30:54Rod, it's your turn. Who have you chosen?
30:56Aileen de Valley King.
30:58Aileen de Valley...
31:00That's not my nickname for her, that's her name.
31:02Aileen de Valley King.
31:04That's not me saying Aileen the Valley King.
31:06It's not like a wrestling name, is it?
31:08Imagine if she stood up and she was huge.
31:10Aileen the Valley King.
31:12That's her name. It's Aileen de Valley King.
31:14Aileen de Valley King, look at those arms.
31:16There she is, Aileen de Valley King.
31:18Aileen, what's your name?
31:20That's my real name.
31:22Aileen de Valley King.
31:24Is it hyphenated? It is hyphenated.
31:26Because de Valley King does sound a little bit like a euphemism
31:28if you don't mind me saying it.
31:30Lee, as you and Paul are my ideal threesome,
31:32then maybe...
31:34Really?
31:38Don't stop, carry on talking.
31:40See this is your favourite threesome, yeah?
31:42Say threesome, just me and you, he's downstairs cooking.
31:44LAUGHTER
31:46APPLAUSE
31:50So, yes, what's your fact?
31:52My fact is now really boring, sorry.
31:54An adult male will never be shorter than his mother.
32:00This is weird, because we're all thinking that.
32:02I think everyone in the audience is going,
32:04that can't be true, and then we're all thinking...
32:06I think we're all now thinking, I don't know anyone that's smaller than me.
32:08Have we got any mother-son in the audience?
32:10Yeah, that's a very good question.
32:12Why the hell are you out with your mum, you sad git?
32:14LAUGHTER
32:16APPLAUSE
32:18Hang on, we've got two mother-son relationship.
32:20They're both, they're both taller than their mothers.
32:22So, so far the experiment works.
32:24Is your son with you?
32:26Could you stand up, please?
32:28It's working so far. We're yet to find anybody.
32:30Anybody else? Any mother and son?
32:32I'm confident over here we're going to...
32:34Look at that giant stick of...
32:36LAUGHTER
32:38Anyone else? One at the back, can you stand up?
32:40It's so far.
32:42We've not found one. Let's ask the verifiers.
32:44Verifiers.
32:46It's actually pretty much true.
32:48Shock and horror.
32:50Because height is controlled by a series of genes
32:52that we inherit from our parents,
32:54and then a little bit of influence by what we eat
32:56and how much we sleep and stuff.
32:58But what's really interesting is that for the same set of genes,
33:00a man will always be, on average,
33:02four inches taller than a woman.
33:04And the reason is,
33:06is that boys actually hit puberty
33:08two or three years later than girls.
33:10So they have a few years extra to grow
33:12before their bones fuse
33:14and they reach their final height.
33:16Now, if you had, like, a mum and dad
33:18who are a similar height,
33:20it's probably quite likely that the mum
33:22has some extra tall genes.
33:24But the point is that she will then pass them on
33:26to her son, so he'll also be slightly taller than average
33:28and still four inches taller than her.
33:30So it's a very rare case
33:32where you have a really tall mum
33:34and a really short dad,
33:36but then they'll pass on their genes to the son
33:38and it might not be quite enough
33:40for him to then catch up with her.
33:42And on that very rare circumstance,
33:44he may not actually overtake her
33:46and might end up the same height or even a bit shorter.
33:48But that's pretty rare.
33:50So it turns out that Aileen's fact
33:52that we actually didn't believe is pretty much true.
33:54Yeah.
33:56That's amazing.
33:58APPLAUSE
34:00OK, Paul,
34:02last but not least,
34:04who do you think can win this one for you?
34:06Owen Watkins.
34:08Owen Watkins, where are you?
34:10Give us a wave. Hello, Owen. What is your fact?
34:12My fact is that there is a spider
34:14in Brazil that, when or if it bites you,
34:16it can give you an erection
34:18that can last for hours.
34:20LAUGHTER
34:22Right, two questions.
34:24One,
34:26where does it have to bite you?
34:28And two, you say bite,
34:30do you mean suck?
34:32LAUGHTER
34:34The bit that confuses me,
34:36why does anyone need an erection for more than three minutes?
34:38LAUGHTER
34:40I'm not... I'm not... I don't know.
34:42This is confusing, because I would have thought that...
34:44I want to know what the other symptoms are.
34:46You know, if you're... Oh, I think it's just a side effect.
34:48I think you just forget about the other symptoms, mate.
34:50Spider bites you, you don't go,
34:52Oh, my hands are really sweaty, they're really sweaty.
34:54Oh, it's got a little red mark. Oh, Christ, I've got a massive erection!
34:56LAUGHTER
34:58You say that when I've got an erection,
35:00my hands are really sweaty.
35:02LAUGHTER
35:04Verifies.
35:06But please tell me there's no truth in this,
35:08because I'll be disturbed for the rest of my life.
35:10This is actually true. No!
35:12A Brazilian spider called the wandering spider,
35:14or more ironically, the banana spider.
35:16LAUGHTER
35:18And it's actually got some of the most venomous,
35:20toxic bite known to human beings,
35:22and when it bites you,
35:24the side effects are death and searing pain,
35:26and another one is an incredibly long-lasting erection,
35:28called a priapism.
35:30Is it because...
35:32Do you die first, or get the erection first?
35:34Well, actually, it doesn't always bite you
35:36with a full dose of venom,
35:38so sometimes it can just leave you in searing pain
35:40with a raging erection.
35:42Does the erection hurt?
35:44Yeah, after a while.
35:46They can last more than six hours,
35:48and it can lead to infertility if untreated.
35:50Beyond that, it can lead to gangrene
35:52and penile amputation.
35:54LAUGHTER
35:57So, er, yeah.
35:59That's why I've got my legs crossed.
36:01I tell you what, that raspberry anus,
36:03I'm looking back at that with the Halcyon days of this show.
36:06LAUGHTER
36:08Well, we've heard the audience facts,
36:10but what points will our verifiers give them?
36:12Don't go anywhere, cos after the break,
36:14we'll be finding out and reveal who'll be crowned
36:16tonight's Duck Quacks Don't Echo champion.
36:18APPLAUSE
36:20CHEERING
36:24Welcome back. Before the break,
36:26Olivia, Rod and Paul chose their favourite fact from the audience.
36:29We've heard from our verifiers, but who will get the most points
36:32and walk away with their smug head held high?
36:34Let's find out.
36:36Olivia, please remind us of the fact that you went for.
36:38My fact was...
36:40Well, it was Matt's fact.
36:42A beaver's anus tastes like raspberry.
36:44It's a lovely image, still.
36:46Verifiers, what score are we going to give that fact?
36:48Well, Olivia, we thought it was a lovely idea,
36:50but seeing as it's only partly true,
36:52we thought we could only give you five points.
36:54OK. I'm sorry.
36:56I was amazed it was true at all, to be fair.
36:58That's five more than you thought you were going to get.
37:00Rod, remind us of your fact.
37:02I chose A Linda Valley King's fact.
37:04An adult man will never be shorter than his mum.
37:07Verifiers, what score are we giving that?
37:09We decided that because that's pretty much always true
37:12and is scientifically, there's a reason behind it,
37:15we're going to give it eight points.
37:17That's pretty good going.
37:22I don't understand.
37:23I don't understand where you're going.
37:25It's absolutely perfect, we're going to give it eight points.
37:27It's almost perfect.
37:28No, what's wrong with it? Why lose the two points?
37:30A mark-off for it not being perfect completely
37:32and a mark-off for your attitude.
37:36Finally, Paul, which fact did you pick out?
37:38This was from Owen Watkins.
37:40There's a spider in Brazil whose bites can cause an erection
37:43that lasts for hours.
37:45Verifiers, what are we giving that?
37:47Well, since this is 100% correct, we wanted to give Paul ten,
37:51but obviously we can't, so we're going to give him nine.
37:58He's got a better attitude than you, Rod.
38:02And his fact is true as well.
38:04That is what twinkly eyes gets you.
38:06You ought to think about that.
38:07He's got a better attitude and his fact is more factual.
38:10Yeah, he bakes it, you buy it, that's the difference.
38:13Right, let's put all of that up onto the leaderboard
38:15and see how it's affected the final score.
38:17In third place is Oliver Colman, Rod Gilbert 33,
38:19but this week's winner, with 39 points, is Paul Hollywood!
38:25So, as tonight's winner, you get the chance to help me prove my fact.
38:29What a prize.
38:30And my fact is, a human can scale walls using just vacuum cleaners.
38:38It's time for Max Facts!
38:41OK, just a reminder of my fact,
38:44and remember you're going to help me test it, Paul.
38:46A human can scale walls using just vacuum cleaners, OK?
38:51So, as you can see, we've built something resembling a wall.
38:54Now, believe it or not, two of these normal vacuum cleaners
38:57can produce enough power and suction to take your weight,
39:00allowing you to scale this wall like Spider-Man.
39:03Now, it's not practical to hold a vacuum and climb a wall,
39:06so we'll need to wear them on our backs with a rucksack.
39:09And plus, we've attached these paddles to make it a little bit easier,
39:13because obviously we can't hold the plastic pipe,
39:15so these are going to be like handles that we push on,
39:18but it's only the suction of the vacuum cleaner that is keeping us up.
39:22So, what are your first thoughts? Are you confident?
39:24No.
39:25Yeah? Do you feel safe?
39:27No.
39:28Do you think... Wait for it, good joke coming.
39:30Do you think you're Dyson with death?
39:35Thank you.
39:38Are you coming up there with me as well?
39:39I'll certainly start with you.
39:41And I'm terrified of heights, so I'm not sure I'm going to get to the top.
39:45But I'll tell you what, I'll be with you in spirit.
39:48Well, you might be in spirit by the end of this.
39:50So I'm going to go as high as I can.
39:52Now, because our health and safety man is never 100% convinced by my facts,
39:55you'll be pleased to hear, we'll also be attached to some very slack safety wires,
39:59but they won't be taking any of the weight.
40:01OK.
40:02So, if you fall, you won't die,
40:05but you won't be baking for some time.
40:08OK.
40:09OK. Now, whilst we change into something a bit more suitable for scaling walls
40:12and get strapped up, Dr Foster can tell us the science behind how this works.
40:17So, as you all know, whenever you turn a vacuum on,
40:19you basically hear a fan whirring away,
40:21and this sucks air out of the central chamber in the middle,
40:24and air comes rushing in under the bottom.
40:26Now, air is all around us at the moment,
40:28and it's constantly pushing on our bodies,
40:30but if there's an equilibrium, a balance,
40:32the same amount of air on each side of something,
40:34then you won't feel a force.
40:36However, if you remove the air from inside something,
40:39then the air outside will basically have a bigger force,
40:43and it will win, so you can take a bottle like this,
40:45remove the air from inside,
40:47and the air pressure outside will actually be able to crush the bottle.
40:51Now, we're going to put the same kind of science to the test here.
40:54Basically, if you used a vacuum cleaner to remove the air from inside the pad,
40:58there's an imbalance, it's no longer in equilibrium,
41:01and the air outside can create a big enough force
41:04to stick Paul to the wall, hopefully.
41:08APPLAUSE
41:10Thanks, Dr Foster!
41:12So, Paul, first question, how are you feeling?
41:16A bit nervous. I'm shattered already. I haven't even got on the wall yet.
41:20Still, at least we're keeping our dignity with the way we look.
41:23I think it works.
41:24I feel like Wallace and Gromit are remaking Ghostbusters.
41:27LAUGHTER
41:29So, you know, the basic idea,
41:31the suction alone will keep us walking up the wall,
41:35and what can I say apart from, Godspeed, it's been nice knowing you.
41:39If it all goes wrong and I don't get out of this alive,
41:41please send my wife a cake.
41:43All right, I'll sort that out.
41:45OK, guys, switchers on, let's go.
41:49WHIRRING
42:00Oh, I thought this is how they'd climb Everest
42:02if they had an extension lead long enough.
42:05Oh, my God!
42:07I'm not going very far!
42:12Urgh!
42:19Urgh!
42:40I've got a smile on my face!
42:45So there you have it.
42:47A team of ready-to-go scoundrels using household vacuums!
42:54And while I'm up here,
42:56this is probably the point where I should say,
42:58do not try this at home.
43:01So that's all we've got time for tonight.
43:03A big thanks to my guests, Olivia Colman,
43:05Rags Elbert and Paul Hollywood.
43:07See you next week, goodnight.
43:13There are certain dance moves
43:16that women find more attractive.
43:18I think I know which one it is, Aston.
43:20Touch me.
43:29I've missed them, I bet you've missed them,
43:31so when the brand-new series of Modern Family
43:33lands on Skywind HD on Monday at 8,
43:35we're kicking off with a double bill.
43:37Nice.
43:39Then we go back to the summer of 1990
43:41and Martin Moon's coming of age,
43:43all with his imaginary friend by his side.
43:45The brand-new series of Moonboy begins at 9.