Duck Quacks Don't Echo. S01 E07.

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deaddogsmoking
  • 2 months ago
First broadcast 21st March 2014.

Lee Mack

Simon Foster
Emily Grossman
David Wharton
John Sergeant

Sir Terry Wogan
Jimmy Carr
Carol Vorderman
Andrea Sella
Frank Furedi

Category

📺
TV
Transcript
00:00Hello and welcome to Duck, Quack, Stone, Echo. This is a show where we take a look at some
00:23amazing and slightly odd facts and then put them to the test. Each one of my guests have
00:27brought their favourite facts along with them and they'll argue over which one is best.
00:31So let's see who's joining me tonight. An interesting fact about my first guest is he
00:35once famously conducted an incredibly drunk interview with George Best. Apparently George
00:40had also had a few. Please welcome Sir Terry Weldon. An unusual fact about my next guest
00:52is that his latest stand-up DVD received 114 complaints in the first hour when it was recently
00:57shown on Channel 4. To be fair, 113 of those were from me asking why they weren't showing
01:02Lee Mack going out live instead. Gut-bustingly funny, not my words, the Sunday Times. Anyway,
01:07what was I doing? Oh yeah, please welcome Jimmy Carr. An unusual fact about my final
01:16guest is that she has received many accolades during her career. She's been appointed head
01:20of a government task force for maths, she's been involved with the publication of a number
01:24of school textbooks and she's been made Rear of the Year. So I guess you could say of her
01:29achievements that she's got two from the top and one from the bottom. Please welcome Carol
01:33Vorderman. So, this is a show all about extraordinary but slightly odd facts. For example, you can
01:45separate the yolk of an egg from the white using a plastic bottle. Using a plastic bottle?
01:51Using a plastic bottle. Did they just hammer it? I just happen to have some eggs, some plastic bottles here.
01:56So obviously take the lid off, give yourself a fighting chance. Help an old guy. And then, now you get an egg, if you could gently pass them along.
02:02Catch. Don't throw eggs at Jimmy, he'll think he's at a gig. Give that to Carol.
02:09Crack the egg onto the plate, but don't obviously break the yolk. I can never do this. I've got a spare egg, so don't worry.
02:17Turn your bottle upside down. Give it a squeeze, about half way. Put it very gently over the yolk, like that.
02:23No, this is never going to work, is it? Very gently, till it's touching, then release the bottle. Oh my God!
02:27And this is the best bit, you can... Oh, that one's cracked, isn't it? Look, if I go up to Carol...
02:35This is an inferior egg. You can place it wherever you like, I can put it on...
02:40Let's inseminate. There you go. And I go, hang on, I'll have that one back, thank you very much.
02:45No, I want yours. There you go, you can have mine, because yours cracked. You could just do this all day, couldn't you?
02:53It's great, isn't it? There's always one. I'm going to keep doing this, if I may.
03:12OK, let's get on with the game. The first round is really easy. All the guests have brought in a fact that they really love, but who's his best?
03:19It's time for round one. Fact off.
03:25OK, you're up, Jimmy, let's see your facts. What have you got? OK, here's a fascinating fact.
03:29The more a swimming pool smells of chlorine, the dirtier it is. Right. A fact! That's a fact.
03:37So, the more it smells of chlorine... You know when you walk into a busy municipal pool and it really hits you, that chlorine smell?
03:42And your eyes start to water. OK, that is not the chlorine that you're smelling. What are you smelling?
03:47Chlorine basically reacts with the impurities and it creates a thing called a chloramine.
03:52So, basically, when you smell chlorine, what you're really smelling is... What? Oh, I see what you mean.
03:58Fecal matter and pee in the water.
04:02So, does chlorine react with wee? I thought wee was sort of sterile and good for you in a sense.
04:08Have you been drinking your own wee? Have you been drinking... Are you one of these crazy ladies?
04:14Because I read a thing that said that drinking your own urine is meant to be good for you.
04:18Bullshit. I put my back out.
04:26I think this is just one of those kind of urban myths like alligators in the sewers of New York.
04:31Are you telling me that's not true? Another urban myth.
04:35A bit like the smell of chlorine in a swimming pool being caused by urine and fecal matter.
04:42When you get too much chlorine in a swimming pool, for instance.
04:44It's because the people who are maintaining the swimming pool are putting in too much chlorine.
04:49They haven't got the correct scientific chemical balance in the swimming pool.
04:54The PSI is not correct in the pool.
04:57That's not how you spend this. And the pH.
05:03I'm watching you now.
05:05My little boy, when he was two, I took him to a swimming pool.
05:09You know that really posh hotel round the corner from here? Clifton?
05:11Yes, indeed.
05:13And it's a beautiful little swimming pool.
05:15I thought you were going to say, I'll meet you there at midnight.
05:20My two-year-old had his nappy on and had a little bit of an accident.
05:24Now, I don't know if you've ever taken a two-year-old with a nappy in a swimming pool.
05:28But it doesn't contain it very well.
05:30And I didn't notice a sudden increase in the smell of chlorine in the atmosphere.
05:37My husband had to go gathering the evidence.
05:40He shouldn't have been gathering it like that.
05:45So that's what the guests think. It's time to see if the facts stand up.
05:48Take a look at the experiments.
05:58Everyone loves to play in the swimming pool.
06:01Mum and Dad, the kids, even Grandma.
06:05There is a drawback, sometimes an overpowering smell of chlorine.
06:09But is it really true that a strong smell of chlorine means that someone's weeding the pool?
06:17Let's ask an expert.
06:19When you're at a swimming pool, you often smell that strong chlorine smell.
06:23Well, it's not actually chlorine.
06:25It's the product of the reaction between chlorine and contaminants in the pool,
06:29which come from sweat and urine.
06:33When the chlorine in the pool encounters a contaminant,
06:35it produces a volatile compound called chloramine,
06:39which has a very distinctive smell.
06:41The stronger the smell, the more likely the pool is to be contaminated.
06:46Time to test the theory.
06:49We needed volunteers with a finely tuned sense of smell.
06:55Meet John Dowd's master of wine,
06:58professional perfumer Mohammed Jamal,
07:01and world-class barista Courtney Snowden.
07:04For our first test, we have two identical pools
07:07containing exactly the same amount of chlorine.
07:10But into one, we're going to put a little urine
07:14and some medical-grade poo.
07:20The chlorine in our test pool should now go to work,
07:23attacking the contaminants,
07:25and in doing so, releasing the strong-smelling chloramines
07:29that we recognise as the smell of chlorine.
07:32But will our world-class noses really be able to tell
07:36which pool has been contaminated?
07:39First, a quick dip in the clean pool.
07:46It stays on the skin a little bit.
07:48Yeah, definitely.
07:50But it's not a horrible smell.
07:52It's not much there. It's quite subtle, but it's still there.
07:55It's fresh. The feel is light.
07:58Definitely low levels of chlorine.
08:03But what will they make of our contaminated pool?
08:08Will it really have a stronger smell of chlorine?
08:19Definitely a lot more pungent.
08:21Yeah, this is very pungent. It envelops you.
08:24Hits you right at the back of the throat.
08:28Not very pleasant.
08:30Of the two pools, I think this one is contaminated.
08:33Well, I'm ready to get out.
08:35Let's get out of here.
08:37So it is true.
08:39Contaminated pools have a stronger smell of chlorine.
08:42But does the theory work in the real world?
08:45To test this, we collected samples
08:48from ten different swimming pools.
08:51We then tested our pool samples for levels of contamination.
08:56Five of our samples came back clean, which is nice.
08:59Four had low levels of contamination.
09:02But one sample contained relatively high levels,
09:05including the bacteria found in, you guessed it, human feces.
09:10The question is, does the pool water containing human feces
09:14smell strongest of chlorine?
09:16We know just the people to ask.
09:19Our experts are arranging the pool water samples
09:22according to smell.
09:24Weakest on the left, strongest on the right.
09:29It's got a warm atmosphere to this one.
09:32Smells like tadpole water.
09:34Yeah.
09:36You'll be tasting it then.
09:38Everyone happy with that?
09:40Yes.
09:42So where's the sample containing the human feces?
09:45Bingo.
09:47Our experts correctly identified the five clean samples
09:52and the four lightly contaminated samples
09:55just by using their noses.
09:57Pretty impressive.
09:59So there you have it.
10:01Next time you're in a local pool
10:03and are hit by a strong smell of chlorine,
10:06well, has Granny had a little accident again?
10:12Would you like to just take a moment to apologise?
10:15I knew that all the time.
10:17I just wanted to test you.
10:20I've seen swimming for people now.
10:22When they get into a pool and smell chlorine,
10:24they'll go, I know what's happened here.
10:26There's been a brown shark in this pool.
10:28Swimming is ruined anyway, isn't it, when you're a family?
10:31You just can't relax anymore.
10:33I find it embarrassing being the family
10:36that is responsible for the poo in the pool.
10:39It's so embarrassing that we've had to start taking the kids.
10:42Someone to blame.
10:44Could I ask for the level of this programme
10:47to be raised a little bit?
10:50So far we've talked about nothing but...
10:54I'll try and raise the level of the show
10:56but it's a bit late for recasting.
10:58You won't be leaving us, will you?
11:08We're going to score it.
11:10Sir Terry and Carol, based on what you've seen on a scale of 1-10,
11:13how amazing is that fact, Sir Terry?
11:15As I say, I cast a little doubt on it
11:17but that was just to test Jimbo here.
11:20All alone, a good 7 out of 10.
11:22That's a pretty decent start to the evening.
11:247 out of 10, Carol?
11:26I think that's a pretty amazing fact, actually,
11:28because I'm not going anywhere near a swimming class again.
11:31I'm giving him a 9.
11:33You're giving him a 9? A big old 9.
11:35None of you are coming to my swimming pool, I'll tell you that.
11:38Sir Terry, I don't want to be rude
11:40but your swimming pool, does it have a special door on the side
11:43so you can get in when it fills up?
11:50So, I get to score as well. I'm going to give him an 8.
11:53So, let's add all that up and see what you've got, Jimmy.
11:55I'm waiting for the results.
11:57Jimmy Carr, you're in the lead. 24 points.
11:59Come on!
12:05So, we've heard from Jimmy. See you after the break
12:07when Sir Terry Wogan will be telling us his favourite ever fact.
12:14Welcome back to Duck, Quack, Stone, Echo,
12:16the show that goes to incredible lengths to prove incredible facts.
12:19We're joined by Sir Terry Wogan, Carol Vorderman and Jimmy Carr
12:22or to give them their proper titles,
12:24Sir Terry Wogan, Carol Vorderman MBE and Jimmy Carr.
12:32Before the break, Jimmy scored 24 points with his revelation
12:35that the more a swimming pool smells of chlorine,
12:37the more poo it has in it.
12:39Next up, Sir Terry Wogan, please tell us your fact.
12:42I certainly will.
12:44My fact is you can survive a 20-foot drop
12:48in 75 metres of bubble wrap.
12:51If you're wrapped in 75 metres of bubble wrap...
12:54That's a lot.
12:56..of your friendly, poppable bubble wrap...
12:58But then you can drop 20 foot.
13:00You come 20 feet...
13:02I find that extraordinary.
13:04There's a thing called terminal velocity
13:06and I imagine you reach that within 20 foot, don't you?
13:08I'm sorry, I was a classic student.
13:10All I ever did was Latin and Greek and English literature.
13:13I know nothing of the science.
13:15All I know is that
13:18if you're wrapped in 75 metres of bubble wrap,
13:20you can fling yourself off...
13:22I just had pictures of a young child 20 feet up,
13:24just about to fall, and the last thing he hears,
13:26he goes, I know nothing of the science.
13:30Sir Terry and Sir Wogan,
13:3220 feet is a long way up.
13:3420 feet...
13:36You can damage a lot of things.
13:38It is not a long way up if you're wrapped in 75 metres...
13:40Here's another point for you.
13:42It's still a long way up.
13:44Sir Terry, if this is proven, OK, if this is true,
13:47is there a chance in the future
13:49we will no longer have a parachute regiment,
13:51we will have a bubble wrap regiment?
13:53Because if there is a bubble wrap regiment,
13:55I am signing up.
13:59You can't possibly...
14:01I don't think there's a way to test this
14:03because in order to test it,
14:05you'd have to get someone to jump off 20 foot in bubble wrap.
14:07It's going to be that stupid.
14:09You can't do it.
14:11Well...
14:13Sir Terry, if you do this,
14:16there's no way you're going to survive.
14:18But what a way to go.
14:20It's going to be amazing.
14:22Nothing would give me greater pleasure
14:24than to be wrapped
14:26in the bubble wrap,
14:2875 metres of it,
14:30and fling myself off a 20 feet drop.
14:32Unfortunately...
14:34Oh, here we go.
14:36I made a promise to my mother many years ago.
14:40What, not to drop off a 20 foot drop
14:42in 75 foot of bubble wrap?
14:44That's a real conversation.
14:46So that's what Sir Terry thinks,
14:48but let's see the science behind
14:50the amazing properties of bubble wrap.
14:52When you cover something in layers of bubble wrap,
14:54it provides enough cushioning
14:56to keep fragile items safe
14:58from potentially damaging blows.
15:00Bubble wrap is made up of sheets of plastic
15:02filled with hundreds of little air pockets.
15:06These regularly spaced,
15:08protruding air-filled domes,
15:10or bubbles,
15:13move evenly across their surface area.
15:15This is known as dissipation,
15:17and in the case of bubble wrap,
15:19provides the perfect cushioning for fragile items.
15:21The more bubble wrap used,
15:23the greater the energy that can be absorbed.
15:27Based on this principle,
15:29you can protect anything,
15:31no matter how big the object
15:33or how hard the blow,
15:35as long as you use enough bubble wrap.
15:37Now,
15:39before we start dropping people
15:42we should probably do a control test.
15:44In other words, let's see what happens
15:46if we dropped someone without the bubble wrap.
15:48Good idea.
15:50Are you going to do it?
15:52Now, you'll be pleased to hear that neither of us have to do it
15:54because this is our crash test dummy up there.
15:56Sir Terry, if you'd like to take this cord,
15:58I'll count you in.
16:00I'm ready.
16:02Three, two, one. Pull the cord.
16:06Well,
16:08that worked.
16:11Well, that's a shame.
16:13He was looking forward to starting his new job
16:15in the shop at Dorothy Perkins next week.
16:17Now,
16:19OK, we obviously can't make you do it, Sir Terry.
16:21We could never get away with dropping a national treasure
16:23from the ceiling,
16:25so it's time to get in a professional.
16:27Please welcome stuntman Andy Wareham.
16:33Marvellous.
16:37Are you all right, Andy?
16:40I'd kiss you, but I can't get past this.
16:44Do you know the good thing about this?
16:46After the show, we won't have to get him a taxi home,
16:48we can just post him.
16:50You all right in there?
16:52Yes, a little toasty.
16:54You look like the worst world superhero.
16:56Well packaged, man.
16:58Actually, that's quite a good thing to be, isn't it?
17:00I'm well packaged, man.
17:04Andy, are you ready for the winching?
17:06I'm ready.
17:08Are you ready for the winching?
17:10I bet he won't even bounce.
17:16It's going to be disappointing, isn't it?
17:18The poor man's in there terrified
17:20and all he's hearing is,
17:22I bet he doesn't even bounce.
17:24Go on, do a little pop.
17:26Just worry him.
17:28That's what he wants to hear.
17:30Yeah, you'll be fine.
17:32Don't worry, we're just popping a few of these.
17:34Oh, hello.
17:37OK, let's start the winching.
17:41OK, Terry, now...
17:43I'm genuinely nervous here.
17:45Is anyone else as nervous as me?
17:47He, Lee, is as nervous as you.
17:49OK, so Terry...
17:51Yes?
17:53Now, remember what you did to that mannequin?
17:55Here we go, I'm going to count you in.
17:57OK.
17:59OK, please let this work.
18:01I'm starting to think that joke about popping the bubbles now,
18:03we might have gone a bit too far.
18:06I'm going to count you in and you pull the rope.
18:08Here we go.
18:10Three, two, one, go!
18:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
18:24So, Terry, you were right.
18:26You can survive a 20-foot drop
18:28if you are wrapped in 75 metres
18:30of bubble wrap.
18:32And let's hear it for Andy Warhol!
18:35CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
18:41What do we think?
18:43I was genuinely nervous there, I genuinely thought,
18:45wow, I'll be talking about this for years in interviews.
18:47What about the time the stuntman died?
18:49OK, so we've tested Sir Terry's fat,
18:51but how impressed were you?
18:53Marks out of ten, please, Jimmy.
18:55I think I'm going to have to give that a ten.
18:57It's a fabulous fact, ten out of ten, I love it.
18:59Carol?
19:01I'm going for the big ten.
19:04I was deeply impressed with that.
19:06I'd love to see the footage of his little camera on his helmet.
19:08I know, that's good, that's good.
19:10Later, my dear.
19:12LAUGHTER
19:14CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
19:18You play it smart, but there's a master amongst us.
19:20Oh, steady.
19:22And well done, Sir Terry, for finally raising that bar
19:24you told me about.
19:26LAUGHTER
19:28Well, I thought it was fantastic, I was amazed.
19:30I'm not going to give it the full ten.
19:32I was very impressed with the fat.
19:34I would like to have seen him go a little bit higher
19:36and perhaps face down.
19:38I'm going to give it seven points.
19:40Seven?
19:42Let's add that up and see what it puts you on the leaderboard.
19:44Ten and ten and seven.
19:46What we need is a maths expert.
19:48Sir Terry Wogan, you're on 27 points.
19:50APPLAUSE
19:56And now, last but by no means least,
19:58let's hear what Carol's fact is.
20:01In fact, women are superior
20:03at remembering roots.
20:05Not roots as in the ground,
20:07but roots as in getting from A to B
20:09to C to D to the...
20:11Sorry, are you thinking of women or...
20:13You know the lady that does the sat-nav voice
20:15isn't a real woman?
20:17You can't count her towards the average.
20:19No, she is.
20:21And that's why, you see, it's better that it's a female voice.
20:23Because women are superior
20:25at remembering roots.
20:27Surely the nature of observational comedy
20:30is to say that women aren't good at directions.
20:32Yes, exactly.
20:34Men are terrible at stopping and asking for directions.
20:36Of course, we wouldn't have to
20:38if you could read a fucking map.
20:40LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
20:42But I'll put my hand up for that.
20:48This is based on
20:50evolutionary evidence.
20:52The men were the hunters
20:54and the women
20:56were the gatherers.
20:59So they would have to remember
21:01where those groups of plants would grow.
21:03So they would use landmarks
21:05in their primitive brains
21:07to remember the roots to get to that.
21:09Well, I'm doubtful about this fact.
21:11I mean, it's true,
21:13there must be some amazing women
21:15bringing up the average
21:17because my wife cannot find the car
21:19in the bloody front drive.
21:21OK, you've heard our views,
21:23but join us after the break
21:25to see us put the fact to the test.
21:28APPLAUSE
21:30Welcome back to Duck, Wax, Don't Echo,
21:32the show that has the answers to the questions
21:34you never even asked.
21:36Before the break, Carol Vorderman told us
21:38that women are better at remembering routes.
21:40Now, we've all said what we think,
21:42but we have to know for sure,
21:44so we put it to the test.
21:48For years, couples have argued
21:50about each other's sense of direction.
21:52But has there been
21:54a clear battle winner all this time?
21:56These studies indicate something
21:58that we've known for a long time,
22:00which is that women's experience
22:02as food gatherers
22:04gave them a different set of skills
22:06than men's experience as hunters.
22:08A recent study looked
22:10at a group of men and women
22:12from a village in Mexico
22:14who were sent to gather mushrooms.
22:16The women expended far less energy
22:18because they remembered where they were going
22:20by using landmarks,
22:22and they retraced their paths
22:25So, with that in mind,
22:27it was time for our experiment team
22:29to pack their bags
22:31and put it to the test.
22:35Unfortunately,
22:37we didn't travel to a beautiful village
22:39in Mexico.
22:41We went, just outside London,
22:43to Gatwick.
22:45In our variation on the experiment,
22:47we took a group of five women
22:49and five men to an unfamiliar area.
22:51We drove the group round
22:54giving them a chance
22:56to become familiar with the route.
22:58If they stick to the route shown to them,
23:00then they should get back
23:02to their start position
23:04in the quickest time.
23:06Each member has to adhere
23:08to the strict speed limit
23:10of 30 miles per hour.
23:12The team with the best average score
23:14will be the winner.
23:16First, let's see how the women did.
23:18The girls got off to a great start
23:20using local landmarks
23:23Although they showed
23:25impressive route skills,
23:27the girls' driving abilities
23:29were a different matter entirely.
23:41At the last moment,
23:43driver number four made an error
23:45at the final turning.
23:49But she quickly got back on track.
23:53Yeah, right, right, right, right.
23:57I think I've got this, yes!
23:59And then it's driver number...
24:03Well, that was easy.
24:05From this map, we can see
24:07the routes the women took.
24:09With just one mistake between them,
24:11they came back with an average time
24:13of 5 minutes and 57 seconds.
24:15Next, it was time for the men.
24:19Let's find out
24:22if they were paying any attention
24:24to the route they were shown.
24:28OK, Stig, eat your heart out.
24:34It didn't take long
24:36for driver number one
24:38to take a wrong turn,
24:40adding precious seconds
24:42to his final time.
24:44I don't think it went right there.
24:46No, it wasn't, I don't think.
24:48Oh, yes, it was.
24:50Yes, Parkhurst.
24:52Parkhurst Road, I remember this one.
24:54No mistakes so far
24:56for cars two and three,
24:58but driver number four
25:00is showing serious signs of doubt.
25:02It wasn't down that way.
25:06I thought it was straight.
25:10Oh, God.
25:12Have I made a mistake?
25:14Oh, no.
25:16No, there's the mini roundabout.
25:19I actually don't remember this
25:21because I don't think I was paying attention
25:23to this bit, but I know it's right.
25:25And from then on, it just gets worse
25:27as driver number four
25:29goes completely off course.
25:31I've gone the wrong way.
25:33We're not going to beat us
25:35at this rate.
25:39Right, I'm back.
25:41One silly mistake
25:43and I'm absolutely gutted.
25:45From the map, we can see the routes
25:48and we can see the mistakes they made.
25:50The men's total average time
25:52was six minutes, ten seconds,
25:54so the girls' average time
25:56was faster.
25:58There you have it.
26:00When it comes to remembering routes,
26:02the superior sex are women.
26:10I'll tell you why.
26:12Thank you.
26:14I'll tell you why.
26:17The women went first because we're lovely.
26:19They all had a go in their cars.
26:21It's a half an hour later, then the men went out.
26:23I think the guys just had longer sitting around
26:25to forget the routes.
26:27I've got some very bad news for you, Jimmy.
26:29The men actually went first
26:31and that's just the way it was edited.
26:33Genuinely.
26:35No, I have another...
26:37No, I have another...
26:39That's the way it was edited.
26:41I've sort of lost my train of thought.
26:43Maybe I need a woman.
26:46It was a man that drove the minibus.
26:48It was a man that drove the minibus. Excellent.
26:50It was a man...
26:52Thank you, sir.
26:54We work together as a team.
26:56I've got some very shocking news for you.
26:58That was a very ugly woman.
27:00I'm very sorry, madam,
27:02but it was a man that drove the minibus.
27:04APPLAUSE
27:12So, what do you think, sir?
27:14I don't think you can argue.
27:16I think the facts are there to be seen.
27:18I don't accept them.
27:20LAUGHTER
27:22I don't like them.
27:24But I like you.
27:26And for that, I'm going to give you
27:28an eight.
27:30Eight! Fantastic.
27:33Can I just make a point here on the scoring?
27:35I'm saying women are superior at something
27:37and there are three men scoring this.
27:39I think that's a handicap.
27:41Don't you, girls?
27:43And I think for every score,
27:45I should have an additional point.
27:47So you're happy to be patronised, then?
27:49LAUGHTER
27:51Jimmy?
27:53Two?
27:55LAUGHTER
27:57APPLAUSE
28:00Oh, no.
28:02No, no, no, but you get an extra one.
28:04You get three.
28:06Terrific. You must be pleased.
28:08I'm going to give you
28:10a six.
28:12No, I'm not. I'm going to give you a seven.
28:14A seven? Yeah, because I think the facts...
28:16Is that an eight, really?
28:18I'll give you a seven. No, it was a six, really,
28:20but I added the one on.
28:22So I'm going to give you a seven. Let's add that all up.
28:24See where that puts you on the leaderboard. Carol?
28:26At the bottom. Pardon? What?
28:29Carol Vorderman,
28:31you're at the bottom with 18 points.
28:33APPLAUSE
28:35Sir Terry is storming ahead with 27 points,
28:37but that could all change in our next round.
28:39Oh, really? It's a chance for our guests to pick up extra points.
28:41So let's move on to our next round,
28:43Fact Finder.
28:45APPLAUSE
28:47Yes, it's not just my guests
28:49who have brought in facts, we've also asked our studio audience
28:51to bring in theirs. We've had a look at them
28:53and during the break, Sir Terry, Jimmy and Carol
28:55have tried to find the one fact that they think
28:57is the best and will win them the most points.
28:59Right, Sir Terry Wogan, which member of the audience
29:01did you think brought in the best fact?
29:03I picked an extremely intelligent
29:05and highly attractive person called
29:07Clare Company. Where are you, Clare Company?
29:09Stand up, Clare. Would you care to stand?
29:11If you don't mind, thank you.
29:13And where are you from, Clare? Armbrough.
29:15Tell us your amazing fact, Clare.
29:17If you rub onions on your feet,
29:19you'll be able to taste it 30 to
29:2160 minutes later.
29:23If you rub onions on your feet,
29:25you'll be able to taste it in your mouth
29:2730 to 60 minutes later.
29:29Yeah, if you lick your feet.
29:31LAUGHTER
29:33Onion is a very pungent flavour.
29:35It permeates up through the foot.
29:37Oh, it actually travels through your body?
29:39Well, how's it going to get to your mouth otherwise?
29:41Oh, yes, I'm the ridiculous one.
29:43LAUGHTER
29:45What an admission.
29:47You were saying between 30 and 60 minutes,
29:49but within 15 minutes it's hit the...
29:51The nether regions.
29:53Yeah.
29:55Yeah, but stop eating from there.
29:57That's going to make your balls cry.
29:59You don't think...
30:01That's what I call it, anyway.
30:03I'm still a bit immature about my love life.
30:05Oh, I love me balls have started crying again.
30:07LAUGHTER
30:09Clare, can I ask a question?
30:11Have you tried this?
30:13I've not, no, but I have heard...
30:15Oh, you've heard it?
30:17It must be true. Who did you hear of?
30:19Was it an alcoholic?
30:21No, it was someone who had halitosis and said,
30:23no, I have brushed me teeth,
30:25I just accidentally rubbed onions on me feet.
30:27LAUGHTER
30:29So that's what we all think of Sir Terry's chosen audience fact,
30:31but obviously we couldn't test all these facts,
30:33so instead we have a special panel of boffins.
30:35So, please welcome rocket scientist Dr Simon Foster,
30:37expert in cell biology and genetics Dr Emily Grossman,
30:39and chemical engineer David Wharton.
30:41It's our Verifiers!
30:43APPLAUSE
30:45So, are we all right, Verifiers?
30:47Very well, thanks.
30:49The big question is, is there any truth in this?
30:51Well, the skin is there to keep stuff out.
30:53It's a layer of dead cells all around the body,
30:55and it's very difficult to absorb stuff through your skin.
30:57That's what it's for, to keep it out.
30:59We do put on nicotine patches, or pain-relieving gel.
31:01That can be absorbed, but very, very slowly,
31:03and in order for that to happen,
31:05the pain-relieving gel, or the nicotine,
31:07has to be absorbed very, very slowly,
31:09and it's very difficult to absorb stuff
31:11through your skin.
31:13So, the pain-relieving gel, or the nicotine,
31:15has to be what we call a lipophile.
31:17It latches onto fat cells that are inside the body.
31:19Now, there are very few lipophiles
31:21inside an onion.
31:23So, if it does absorb anything...
31:25Sorry, that's my favourite phrase of the night.
31:27LAUGHTER
31:29If you've learned nothing tonight,
31:31you'll go on and go,
31:33you know there's very few lipophiles in an onion, don't you?
31:35LAUGHTER
31:37Sorry, I'm lost, where are we?
31:39LAUGHTER
31:41Please, can you just say that phrase again?
31:43Because I loved it.
31:45OK, there are very few lipophiles in an onion.
31:47He's got a catchphrase now.
31:49What are the very few lipophiles in?
31:51LAUGHTER
31:53Out of interest, lipophiles,
31:55are they allowed to live near schools?
31:57LAUGHTER
31:59APPLAUSE
32:03Sorry, sorry, David.
32:05Right, they need to stick to fats,
32:07and they're called lipophiles,
32:09because lipophiles are fats,
32:11and there are very few lipophiles inside an onion.
32:13So, if anything is absorbed, it's minuscule amounts,
32:15and will take a very long time.
32:17Too small to make any effect.
32:19APPLAUSE
32:23OK, we'll score it at the end, once we've heard everyone's facts.
32:25I think you're right, Clare.
32:27OK, your turn, Jimmy.
32:29Whose facts have you chosen?
32:31OK, I've chosen... It's Jill Smith.
32:33Is there a Jill Smith? Where are you, Jill?
32:35Could you stand up for us, Jill?
32:37And what do you do, Jill?
32:39I... I mean, do you know?
32:41LAUGHTER
32:43I sell jewellery on the internet. You sell what?
32:45Jewellery on the internet. You sell stolen jewellery?
32:47LAUGHTER
32:49You sell jewellery on the internet?
32:51Do you make this jewellery? No.
32:53Where do you get it from?
32:55I buy it from wholesalers and abroad.
32:57Why don't they sell it on the internet?
32:59They do. Oh, do they?
33:01Yeah, I'm just cheaper.
33:03Why are they selling it at a more expensive price than you?
33:05Sorry, can we just forget the show?
33:07I want to get this business thing sorted out.
33:09This sounds like bonkers.
33:11I will give you £5 for 50% of the company.
33:13LAUGHTER
33:15Now this works.
33:17APPLAUSE
33:21Tell us a fact, Jill.
33:23Black cab drivers have more developed brains than the rest of us.
33:25Do you mean that black cab drivers,
33:27because of their job,
33:29then have more developed brains,
33:31or people with more developed brains are attracted to cab driving?
33:33Oh, I don't know which one that means.
33:35LAUGHTER
33:37Black cab drivers have more developed brains
33:39because they are cab drivers.
33:41Oh, I see, so they go in there with averagely developed brains,
33:43do some cab driving...
33:45Yes, learn the knowledge and the routes,
33:47and develop their brains, and it becomes...
33:49I think this is a great fact, because it means
33:51your mind is like a muscle, and if you work it, it gets stronger.
33:53Are you related to a taxi driver?
33:55No.
33:57Do you know any taxi drivers?
33:59No.
34:01Where are you getting this information from?
34:03I heard it on the radio once.
34:05Once on the radio?
34:07It sounds like a terrible lyric to a song.
34:09LAUGHTER
34:11OK, Verifiers,
34:13I'm going to have to ask, what do we think of this?
34:15Well, this is actually true,
34:17and there's a part of the brain which is a little seahorse-shaped part,
34:19which is called the hippocampus,
34:21and unsurprisingly, it's responsible
34:23for navigation and map reading.
34:25Sorry, what's it called? The hippocampus.
34:27The hippocampus, so this is where hippos go to university.
34:29LAUGHTER
34:31So, anyway, through doing the knowledge,
34:33they've got to learn all these different routes
34:35and tens of thousands of streets and cities around London.
34:37This part of the brain may be like a muscle,
34:39and the more you use it,
34:41and the more you test it out, the bigger it can get.
34:43So, you're saying this is a true fact?
34:45It's true.
34:47Well, that's amazing. I'm really impressed.
34:49That's incredible.
34:51Stanley, your turn.
34:53OK, well, I've chosen a lady who has a fascinating fact.
34:55Rosie Short.
34:57Rosie Short, where are you, Rosie?
34:59Rosie Short, that is a great name.
35:01Where are you from, Rosie?
35:03From Buckinghamshire.
35:05And what do you do?
35:07Unemployed at the minute, student.
35:09You're unemployed and you're a student.
35:11That suggests that students don't do anything.
35:13LAUGHTER
35:15Let's go with student.
35:17Go again, just say student.
35:19So, what do you do?
35:21I'm a student.
35:23I bet she doesn't do anything.
35:25APPLAUSE
35:29What's your fact?
35:31Your nipples are the same colour as your lips.
35:33Mine?
35:35My nipples are the same colour as my lips.
35:37How do you know?
35:39You mean they're exactly the same colour?
35:41I believe so, that's what I've been told.
35:43Oh, no, you've got lipstick on, so you can't.
35:45Right, I'll put some lipstick on your nipples.
35:47LAUGHTER
35:49Done.
35:51I'm just saying we should have a little...
35:53If my nipples were the same colour as my lips,
35:55then they would be the same as my lips.
35:57Have you ever noticed?
35:59Have I ever noticed?
36:01The colour of your nipples.
36:03I've never noticed I had nipples.
36:05You've never noticed you had nipples?
36:07I'm pretty sure I don't.
36:09No, well, you don't, you were made.
36:11I look like an action man, you haven't got any genitalia.
36:13Well, I think we need to go to experts on this.
36:15We need to find out, verifiers.
36:17No, it's not true that they will always be the same colour.
36:19However, it is quite likely that they will be a similar colour
36:21because they're both related to skin tone.
36:23The darker your skin tone,
36:25the more of the pigment cells that release melanin there are
36:27in the skin lip covering,
36:29so it masks the colour of the red blood vessels,
36:31so they look a little bit darker.
36:33Sorry, can I just stop you there?
36:35Are we going to see your nipples or not?
36:37LAUGHTER
36:39I was waiting for that.
36:41APPLAUSE
36:43Oh, no.
36:45No.
36:47Some trouble at Gloucester.
36:49The way, though, is that it's different,
36:51the way that the nipples are coloured is different to the lip tone
36:53because that's due to the balance of two different pigments
36:57and the balance of those is controlled by your genes,
36:59but the darker your skin,
37:01the more likely you have a higher level of the brown one,
37:03giving you more brown nipples,
37:05and the paler your skin,
37:07you've got a higher level of the red one,
37:09giving you pink nipples.
37:11LAUGHTER
37:15So we've heard whether the facts are true,
37:17and whether the verifiers give them.
37:19After the break, we'll be finding out
37:21whether Sir Terry, Jimmy or Carol back the best fact
37:23and will be crowned tonight's Duck Quacks Don't Echo champion.
37:25APPLAUSE
37:31Welcome back.
37:33Before the break, each of our celebrity guests
37:35chose their favourite fact from the audience.
37:37We found out whether each fact is true,
37:39but who will get the most points from our verifiers
37:41and win tonight's show? Let's find out.
37:43Sir Terry, remind us of your chosen fact.
37:45You will taste it in 30 to 60 minutes.
37:47Well, verifiers, what score are you going to give that?
37:51Well, we could only give that one two points.
37:53You can indeed smell them, but it's coming through your hands,
37:55just like any other smell that you've happened to have had on your hands.
37:59Careful, careful. So we can only give you two points for that one.
38:01OK, so we're going to give that two points.
38:03That's quite harsh.
38:05Don't know about you, Clare, but I don't like him much.
38:08LAUGHTER
38:10OK, Jimmy, remind us of the fact you backed.
38:12I backed Jill's fact, Jill Smith's fact.
38:14Black cab drivers have got more developed brains than the rest of us.
38:18It's a great fact. Verifiers?
38:20Well, seeing as this is true and my cousin Paul's a cabbie,
38:23he'd kill me unless I gave a good mark,
38:25so we are going to give this eight.
38:27Ooh, eight points. That's good. Skills.
38:29And finally, Carol, which fact did you go for?
38:31I went with our lovely Rosie Short, and she had a fabulous fact,
38:35which is your nipples are the same colour as your lips.
38:39Verifiers?
38:40Well, it's kind of true,
38:43but there's huge variation and, in fact,
38:45your nipples can even change colour during your lifetime,
38:47during, like, pregnancy and ageing.
38:49So it's not always going to be the case that they're the same colour.
38:51In fact, there's some people with very big variations.
38:54So we're only going to give five points.
38:56So let's put all of that onto the leaderboard
38:58and see how it's affected the final score.
39:01In third place, Carol Vorderman, second place is Terry Weldon,
39:04but tonight's winner with 32 points, it's Jimmy Carr.
39:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
39:10Jimmy, well done.
39:15Well done, Jimmy.
39:16You've won tonight's Star Prize,
39:18the chance to prove a fact of my very own.
39:21So here is my fact.
39:23If you drop a heavy object in front of your face attached to a rope,
39:26it will never hit you when it swings back.
39:31So let's test out Matt's fact.
39:36So, for this fact, we're going to prove
39:38that if you drop a heavy object, like this bowling ball,
39:41directly in front of your face,
39:43it will never hit you when it swings back.
39:46But first...
39:47Why? Why would...? Can I get some bubble wrap?
39:50But first, we both need to go off
39:52and get changed into our experiment suits.
39:54It's a bit like when we had that date the other night.
39:56And whilst we're getting changed,
39:57here's the science behind the fact from Dr Simon Foster.
40:00So this is thanks to a principle of physics
40:02called the conservation of energy,
40:04and it means you can't get more energy out of a system than you put in.
40:07So if the bowling ball's in front of your face and you let go,
40:10it's got gravitational potential energy,
40:12and that becomes moving energy,
40:14or kinetic energy, as scientists call it.
40:16As it gets to the other side,
40:18that kinetic energy becomes gravitational potential energy again,
40:21and then it moves the other way, and the system happens in reverse.
40:24Now, this means the best it can do
40:26is return to the original starting point.
40:29So hopefully, this will literally save face.
40:33OK, Dr Foster, why don't you come over here
40:36and show us what you need.
40:38So, explain away.
40:40So here we have our bowling ball pendulum,
40:42and it doesn't matter on the size, shape or weight of the object,
40:45it'll work for everything.
40:46So as I pull it out, I'm putting energy into the system I'm doing work,
40:49and so if I drag it out here,
40:51when I release it, it's going to go and that energy's gone out.
40:54And just like a battery, you can't get more energy out than you put in.
40:57So hopefully, it shouldn't go beyond the point at which it was released.
41:01Dr Simon, I'll take it from here. Dr Simon, ladies and gentlemen.
41:07That was fine for a warm-up, if the science is real.
41:10It doesn't really matter what we attach the rope to, does it?
41:13Because you don't want a bowling ball, that could really hurt you, couldn't it?
41:16Let's replace that bowling ball with an anvil.
41:24And to make it a bit more interesting, let's stand next to these boards over here.
41:27OK, perfect. OK.
41:29Can I give you that card?
41:30Right. Now, I think... No, you stand on that one.
41:33Apparently, that's the more dangerous one.
41:36I'm going to stand here.
41:37Can you smell chlorine?
41:44All right, you ready, Jimmy?
41:46No.
41:47Is there anything you'd like to say to your family or anything before we do it?
41:51Goodbye.
41:54OK. Now, lads, lads, can I just say...
41:57It's not as frightening as I thought it was going to be. It's actually OK.
42:01Hang on, that's a bit close, isn't it? I've got a bigger nose than him.
42:04Right, on the count down, here we go.
42:06Three, two, one.
42:09OK, go.
42:10Oh!
42:22I've just had my teeth done.
42:23I imagine my dentist was watching this going,
42:25oh, my God, this could be a new holiday.
42:28To be honest with you, Jim, your teeth look like they could smash the anvil.
42:32So there we have it.
42:33Proof that if you drop a heavy object in front of your face attached to a rope,
42:36it will never hit you when it swings back.
42:42Right, I'm going to give it one more go. Here we go.
42:44Let's try and get it straight.
42:46Load up.
42:47Oh, no, not that close, Jesus.
42:48That's very close.
42:49Three, two, one, go.
42:52OK, I love this guy.
42:53Oh!
42:55Blimey, all righty, that's terrifying.
42:57And that's just about all we have time for,
42:59so a big thank you to our guests Jimmy Carr,
43:01Karen Vorderman and Sir Terry Wogan.
43:04Thank you very much. Good night.
43:16You'll be pleased to hear we've mashed up the best bits of our duck quacks
43:20and condensed them into a swan song.
43:22That's at ten next Friday night here on Sky One HD,
43:26and stay with us, our Moonboys, here next for a catch-up.