Marriage under parental pressure || Acharya Prashant (2024)

Acharya Prashant

‍♂️ Want to meet Acharya Prashant?  Be a part of the Live Sessions: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/enquir...    Want to read Acharya Prashant's Books?  Get Free Delivery: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/books?...   ~~~~~   Video Information: 20.04.24, Vedanta Session, Greater Noida   Context:  What is ultimate advice for marriage?  How to choose the right partner for marriage?  How to be committed in a relationship?  How to have a deep and spiritual relationship?  Is marriage good or bad?  What about sex before marriage?  Is it compulsory to marry?  Why should one must have a compelling purpose?   Music Credits: Milind Date  ~~~~~

Transcript

00:00Namaste Acharya ji, I am so grateful that I am in front of you today.

00:07You have absolutely changed the way I survive, changed the life of my sister, my friends.

00:13Very, very thankful for that.

00:16Today I heard you saying that there is indignity in being dependent.

00:21And for girls born in India, my roots are from Uttar Pradesh, Banaras.

00:25I am very much born in that sort of set wherein dependencies is how things work.

00:32Today I am doing a PhD in Scotland.

00:34I am trying to research in simulation and modelling.

00:37But it's not enough.

00:38It's not the real thing.

00:40I often get calls from my parents saying that do something real, which basically is an underline

00:45for getting married or you know, do that.

00:49So when you say that there is indignity in being dependent, but we are being prepared

00:54for that.

00:55So can you please explain what is this indignity in being dependent when we are perpetually

01:00being prepared for that, please sir.

01:02Thank you.

01:03It is to see first of all that choice reigns supreme, that we are not pots being prepared

01:13by some potter.

01:17Who can prepare us?

01:19Who can mould us?

01:20Who can forge us?

01:23Who has the authority?

01:26Life is our own sovereign choice.

01:32If someone is appearing to carry a certain authority over us, surely we are vesting him

01:39with that authority.

01:44Surely that is our own choice to empower that person with that kind of authority.

01:53And remember if you are giving such an authority to that person, that person is surely giving

02:01something to you in return.

02:04The ego is a trader.

02:10So nobody can prepare you for anything.

02:13That is against the law of freedom, especially when you are an adult, irrespective of where

02:25the childhood was, irrespective of how the conditions back then were.

02:33One lives in this particular moment and there is no obligation to carry the load of the

02:44past.

02:47Certain things belong to certain areas and certain epochs.

02:55That area has been flown away from, that epoch has been left behind.

03:11There is no need to, there is absolutely no need.

03:16There might be practice, there might be exchange, there might be some kind of a semi-considered

03:28barter, but there is no real need.

03:34When I say need, what I mean is something that you cannot dispense away with.

03:45If this thing is happening to you, there surely is choice involved in it and if it

03:51is your choice, it can be reversed.

03:55So, I believe it's more emotional, the emotional bonds that are created over the years when

04:04you were children.

04:05But sir, then why did you say that there is indignity in being dependent?

04:11Why is there?

04:15I want this very precise and very scientifically clear on this.

04:19You are free.

04:21That is your nature.

04:22That is who you are.

04:24Anything short of freedom is an affront to your very existence and therefore indignified.

04:37You cannot be unfree and if you decide to be unfree, that decision will come with sorrow.

04:52Your very existence militates against lack of freedom.

05:00You can choose to have lack of freedom.

05:02You can barter away your freedom, but that decision will be accompanied by sorrow.

05:11And that which you are calling as emotional bond or emotional training, please understand

05:16that, observe yourself.

05:22A lot of that is just residue of the body.

05:27A lot of that is just that happens because it has not been examined.

05:38A lot of that is just fantastic storytelling.

05:43We tell ourselves stories like Hindi movies do and then we believe in those stories.

05:53We never bother to experiment, verify, examine those stories.

06:02We believe in stories as if the stories have an absolute existence of their own.

06:11So a story for example says, parents love their kids.

06:16Come on.

06:23Love is a sacred word.

06:25Just because one physically gives birth, one does not become capable of loving.

06:37Not even one in a million parents love their kids.

06:44Love is not something that you can just so easily get by virtue of having a body.

06:56A lot of nonsense just passes in the name of very beautiful words, respect, love, sacredness,

07:11understanding.

07:16And just because somebody is saying something with great conviction does not mean that the

07:23fellow knows what he is talking of.

07:25That includes this speaker.

07:31We have characters in the movies uttering absolutely stupid dialogues with great conviction

07:41and you get impressed by the sheer baritone and the gravitas.

07:51Amitabh Bachchan spewing continuous nonsense in some family blockbuster.

07:59That's the dream figure every North Indian patriarch wants to be.

08:09Somebody whose authority is unquestionable.

08:13He just gets up from the inherited family chair, 5 centuries old and declares the heavenly

08:22truth and the wife and the kids and the daughter in laws especially, they roll at his feet

08:28because the oracle has spoken.

08:34Right?

08:35Don't you get impressed?

08:40So the saddest part is that these people including my father who is very educated, he is also

08:46an IIT alumnus but I don't know where did that degree go.

08:51They have gone around the world, they have seen everything but like when we were children

08:56the western world was beautiful.

08:59They wanted to make us strong and have enrolled us into sports and everything.

09:04But now if we try to explain him that this is not what it is, then it's like you have

09:09learned this from the western world and that you are becoming too individualistic.

09:14Without even knowing what the individual means.

09:19Without even knowing what is the meaning of the word individual.

09:24This is what is meant by living without examining.

09:32Think of words like life, love, beauty, east, west.

09:41We utter these words as if they are our playthings, as if we are the originator of these words.

09:51So their definition is absolutely clear to us.

09:54The thing is nobody knows what these words mean.

09:59But entire sentences, the whole foundation of life are these words.

10:20Thank you sir.

10:21I just want to say thank you.

10:23That's it.

Category

Transcript

Recommended