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Video Information: Interview session, 27.01.20, Greater Noida, Uttar Pradesh, India

Context:
How to maintain a good relationship?
What is the right time to be into a relationship?
What is relationship?
How to make relationship healthy?
When and how a relationship turns into a toxic relationship?
How to choose a life partner?
What is real love?
Is live-in relationship sign of degradation of our culture?

Music Credits: Milind Date
~~~~~

Category

📚
Learning
Transcript
00:00With the youth today, we see a lot of movement into casual relationships.
00:13There are multiple apps, like Tinder is one of them, which just help you with hookups
00:22and very casual flings in that sense.
00:24So an increase in this trend of casual relationships, is this something which is helpful for the
00:30youth today or is it something that we should simply avoid?
00:34It depends on where you're coming from.
00:37If you're coming from a place where life proceeds in an arranged way, it's well-arranged
00:47the kind of school and college you would go to, it's well-arranged the shop that you
00:51would sit in once you are out of college, and your marriage obviously too is well-arranged.
00:58Then I would say even this trend of putting your, what do you do, you make a profile on
01:08Tinder and then account, this is something for the better.
01:14At least in some way, even if in a perverse way, you are gaining some freedom from the
01:25very straight, jacketed enclosures of life, it's alright.
01:40On the other hand, if you are someone who has been enjoying the fruits of a liberal
01:46environment, and then the mischief within you sends you to one of these apps and you
01:55just want to have some cheap thrills, then obviously it's not doing you any good.
02:04See, keeping all the moral undertones aside for a while, exploration per se has nothing
02:25evil about it.
02:28If you get to meet new people, how on earth are you going to decry it or call it unacceptable
02:40or, there's nothing vile about it.
02:47But if the idea is to exploit the other person, if the idea is to objectify the other person,
02:58if the idea is to just give expression to the cheapest part of your personality, then
03:10you know that you are doing yourself no service by wasting your time and others' time on such apps.
03:20But whether or not you are on such apps, it is actually a good thing to know people,
03:30especially as a young person.
03:35How else will you know what life is?
03:37By remaining confined within your walls, that's not going to happen.
03:43Neither are books going to tell you everything about life.
03:49So you will need to meet people and when I say people, I do not necessarily mean people
03:56of the other gender or of a particular age group.
04:00You need to be communicative in general.
04:05You need to be talking to the waiter in the restaurant, to the auto wala, to the lift
04:15man, to the cam driver, obviously you need to be talking to everybody.
04:23And when I say everybody, that also includes young people of the other gender.
04:30So it's alright, nothing particularly sinister about seeking to mingle with young people
04:39of your own age group.
04:42But be cautious of your driver, your intention, and know fully well that the worst within
04:50us shows up when we are in a relationship that is sexual and romantic in character.
05:04Unfortunately, that's how it is.
05:07It need not necessarily be like this, but that's the way it currently is.
05:17So be very cautious.
05:18You might otherwise be a very composed person, a good student, a nice human being, but you
05:28might be surprised to discover that entering a relationship has just totally distorted,
05:43disfigured your personality.
05:47Your mind has become much more restless than it ever was.
05:52The quality of your thoughts has deteriorated, your entire world view has gone for a toss.
06:03I was once speaking to my squash coach and he has been training a lot of kids, I suppose
06:14he trains them for under 8, then 11, then 14, then 16, and then…
06:23So he says the most tricky period in coaching a youngster is when he or she moves into the
06:3514, 16, that age bracket.
06:39The entire attention shifts.
06:45You could be a very promising player and suddenly all you are looking at is girls and you could
06:58be appearing like an upcoming world champion as a girl.
07:06But now the squash ball means very little to you.
07:15And he was very forthright.
07:16He said that if we can somehow navigate that part of the coaching journey, then it's alright.
07:28So it's a slippery period and you should know what you are doing.
07:38Things that start off in just casual ways for the sake of some innocent, harmless fun,
07:50seemingly harmless fun, may very unconsciously assume great sizes and come to totally dominate
08:09your life.
08:10You may not even realize when that casual thing just became the center of your life.
08:30First of all, know very well that there is no option but to approach it.
08:40First of all, do not try to insulate yourself from the wider world.
08:49That's worse than anything else.
08:52That's the least preferred option.
08:55So strike that out in the first place.
08:57I'm not going to remain unconnected, untouched and related.
09:04So that option is struck out.
09:07Then we come to the quality of the relationship.
09:12And in that you have to be careful.
09:17Knowing fully well that it's no crime to seek friends or mates or partners.
09:26It's really no crime.
09:28But at the same time, foolishness is the greatest crime.
09:38Relationship by itself is no crime.
09:41But foolishness is.
09:43So don't be foolish while just striking a connection with somebody.
09:55So this is a certain app for youngsters and SIs, for people to connect with, single and
10:01in a way ready to mingle, you can say.
10:04There even have been apps which are made for people who are married.
10:11And lakhs of people have subscribed to it.
10:15So what's the problem with that?
10:21If somebody is married, doesn't he have the right to mingle?
10:28What's the problem?
10:29There's this, there's this, there's this, there's this, I'll have everything.
10:35Who is anybody to stop me?
10:37I'm not talking of philandering or what you call as adultery specifically.
10:46I'm not talking of that.
10:49I'm talking of the normal run of basically healthy relationships.
10:55As a married woman, what is it that bars you from a male, female, animal, bird, whatsoever?
11:09What is it that stops you and why must it be allowed to stop you?
11:14But again, not for cheap thrills.
11:21Not for cheap thrills.
11:22The intent.
11:23The intent matters, obviously.
11:44I'm not talking of that.
11:45I'm not talking of that.

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