THE GARFIELD SHOW - EP55 - The art of being uncute
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00:00Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:30This is a baby kangaroo.
00:32Not as cute as me.
00:34And this is a baby panda.
00:36Not as cute as me.
00:38Here we see a baby rhinoceros.
00:40Definitely not as cute as me.
00:42I love watching nature films on TV.
00:44Remind me when you're leaving, Nermal.
00:46Oh, and feel free to use the word
00:48now in your answer.
00:50A few more weeks.
00:54I can't take this anymore, Odie.
00:56Prolonged exposure to Nermal
00:58is hazardous to my health.
01:00Oh, look, 27 baby penguins.
01:02None of them as cute as me.
01:10And don't forget to join us tomorrow
01:12in the nationwide search
01:14for America's cutest cat.
01:16In every big city,
01:18contestants are already lining up
01:20for a chance to win this year's
01:22cutest cat trophy.
01:24Cutest cat trophy?
01:26I haven't won a cutest cat trophy since...
01:28Tuesday.
01:30And the winning cat will also receive
01:32an all-expense-paid six-month
01:34vacation in Greenland!
01:36Greenland? Nermal in Greenland?
01:38Far, far away in...
01:40How far, far away
01:42is Greenland?
01:44Never mind. It's got to be far enough away.
01:46Six months without Nermal.
01:48I have got
01:50to win that contest!
01:52Yes, you have got to win that contest.
01:54What are you waiting for, Nermal?
01:56Let's get you entered.
01:58There are flights for Greenland
02:00leaving every hour.
02:06Okay.
02:08I'm all entered in the contest tomorrow
02:10and I'm going to win.
02:12And do you know why, Garfield?
02:14Of course. Because you're the cutest cat
02:16in the whole town.
02:18Soon to be the cutest cat in Greenland.
02:20I take my responsibility
02:22as judged seriously.
02:24I have a chance to set trends.
02:26To influence public taste.
02:28I want to redefine what cute is.
02:30Fashions change.
02:32Styles change.
02:34Cute must change.
02:36I am so bored with what passes for cute.
02:38Things like...
02:40That.
02:42Huh?
02:44The opposite of that.
02:46That will be the new cute.
02:48The opposite of cute?
02:50How can I be the opposite of cute?
02:52Do you know what the opposite of cute is, Garfield?
02:54You.
03:00Wow!
03:02Let's face it.
03:04I'll never win this contest.
03:08I'll never win any contest.
03:10I might as well just stay home
03:12and watch TV all day.
03:14At your house.
03:16No!
03:18You can't give up now, Nermal.
03:20Think of the glory.
03:22Think of the pride.
03:24Think of six months away in Greenland.
03:26But cute is all I got.
03:28How can I possibly become uncute?
03:30I can teach it to you
03:32before the competition tomorrow.
03:34But you've got to work hard.
03:36There's no time to waste.
03:40Let's start with manners, shall we?
03:42We have to get rid of them.
03:44Show me how you eat lasagna.
03:48Wow!
03:50No, no, no, no.
03:52Too cute.
03:54First, you're going to have to do away
03:56with the silverware.
03:58Watch and learn, Nermal.
04:00This is the uncute way
04:02to eat lasagna.
04:10Garfield, careful.
04:12Some of that's actually getting in your mouth.
04:18That was a good one.
04:20Your turn, Nermal.
04:28Too neat.
04:30It needs something uncute.
04:32Something disgusting, even.
04:36I know. Doggy tongue.
04:38Odie, front and center.
04:42Stop! Odie, stop!
04:44Stop!
04:48Please make him stop!
04:56Odie licking your face like that.
04:58Nermal, you are so cute.
05:02This is going to take longer than I thought.
05:12Nermal, do you know how to play
05:14with one of these?
05:18Sure.
05:22I hope none of you are trying
05:24to eat while you watch this.
05:28Wrong, wrong, wrong.
05:30And in that order,
05:32let me show you what an uncute cat
05:34does with a ball.
05:36You use them to occupy small-minded dogs.
05:38Odie, fetch!
05:48Stop! Stop!
05:50Look out!
05:56Well, at least
05:58I wasn't cute.
06:00Oh, Nermal and Odie,
06:02that's so cute.
06:04Playing hide and seek in the trash cans like that.
06:06In fact, everything you do
06:08is so cute, Nermal.
06:10I'm doomed.
06:12Doomed to a life of eternal
06:14cuteness.
06:16Can't I be cute?
06:18You can and you will.
06:20Your trip to Greenland and my peace and quiet
06:22depend on it.
06:24A little of this.
06:26Some of this.
06:28Oh, and this is disgusting.
06:30Some of this.
06:32Now mix well.
06:34Garfield, what are you doing?
06:36I'm giving you an uncute makeover.
06:46What?
06:52What was all that for?
06:54This, Nermal, is the final threshold
06:56on your journey into the land
06:58of uncute.
07:00Now you are ready.
07:04Can I at least wear a little flowery deodorant?
07:06No.
07:10Oh, cute, cute.
07:12Very cute.
07:14Impossibly cute.
07:16I want to see that new kind of cute.
07:18The kind that defies convention.
07:20The kind that says,
07:22I am so cute, I am not afraid
07:24to be uncute.
07:28I don't get it either, but he's the judge.
07:30Show him what you got, Nermal.
07:36And keep your eyes on the prize.
07:38I'll keep mine on that plane ticket
07:40to Greenland.
07:44Hmm, I smell buffet.
07:46It smells like...
07:4837 items including
07:50carved prime rib,
07:52medium rare, sweet potatoes
07:54and chocolate raspberry souffle.
08:02Odie, you keep an eye on what's-his-name.
08:04I'm otherwise occupied.
08:14Oh, my stars and garters.
08:16Is that really Nermal?
08:18What is that dire stench?
08:20Nermal, you look like you just
08:22crawled out of a garbage...
08:28Meow.
08:30Meow.
08:32That is just the kind of thing I wanted to see.
08:34A bold new look.
08:36A whole new kind of cute.
08:38Pussycat, pussycat,
08:40I think you just may be my pick.
08:42I love it.
08:44Delicious.
08:46Superb.
08:48And I was wrong.
08:50There are 38 items
08:52and the prime rib is medium well.
08:54Cat, give me that
08:56lemon meringue pie.
09:00Oh, I'm sorry.
09:02That was the chocolate cream pie.
09:04That was the lemon meringue pie.
09:06Get him.
09:08Stop with that cat.
09:10Today we mark a new era
09:12in cuteness.
09:14A new standard of thinking outside
09:16the cute box.
09:18Imagine, I'm not only the
09:20cutest cat in the whole wide world,
09:22I'm also the uncutest.
09:24And so it is with great pride
09:26and for a medium-sized fee
09:28that I am proud to name
09:30the winner of the contest as...
09:32Stop with that cat.
09:34You.
09:36You have destroyed all concepts
09:38of the old cuteness.
09:42No.
09:44That's my crown.
09:46I'm uncute. I'm so uncute.
09:48I'm cute.
09:50Garfield, I was supposed to win.
09:52Look at me.
09:54Isn't it uncute?
09:56I'm so uncute.
09:58I'm so uncute.
10:00I'm so uncute.
10:02Look at me. Isn't it uncute
10:04to be so loser?
10:06You are an absolute mess.
10:08Hey, you don't look
10:10so good yourself, fella.
10:14Oh, well.
10:16At least I'll have six months
10:18of no normal.
10:20Please fasten your seatbelts.
10:22We will be landing shortly in Greenland
10:24where the current temperature is
10:2650 degrees below zero.
10:2850 degrees below zero?
10:30I don't even want my ice cream that cold.
10:32Leave me alone.
10:40I just have to remember
10:426,000 miles away from normal.
10:44Six whole months of peace
10:46and quiet.
10:48Hello, Garfield.
10:50Normal?
10:52No. You're not normal.
10:54Who are you?
10:56I'm Thermal. I won the cutest cat
10:58competition in Canada.
11:00And I am Germal.
11:02I won the cutest cat competition
11:04in Mexico.
11:06And I am Wormel.
11:08I won the cutest cat competition
11:10in Japan.
11:12You mean...
11:14Yes.
11:16We all want trips here to Greenland
11:18in our local cutest cat competitions.
11:20And we'll all keep you company here
11:22for the entire six months.
11:28Caramba!
11:30He's not so very cute.
11:32Yes. How he won is incomprehensible.
11:58Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada