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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Ellen Musk, the only woman on the Forbes 30 under 30 list, arrives at Atlanta today.
00:00:12What a business tycoon is doing here in Georgia, a forgotten stage no one knows.
00:00:16Angela, my next door neighbor, still selling your hippie junk here?
00:00:21If your mother-in-law sees, she's going to throw a big fit again.
00:00:26Your mother-in-law was right about you.
00:00:29What's the point of watching the news all day about these moguls if you can't even apply
00:00:32it to your penniless self?
00:00:34And how do you know that this is none of my business?
00:00:38Alright, everybody get out!
00:00:41We got an important guest coming!
00:00:45You!
00:00:50You deaf?
00:00:51I said pack up and scram!
00:00:52I paid the stall fee already, and if you want me to leave, then fine, but you have to compensate
00:00:57for today's losses.
00:00:59You want to say that again?
00:01:03You know who's visiting today?
00:01:06Ellen freakin' Musk, one of the richest people in the world.
00:01:09Ellen Musk?
00:01:10Of course, a hick like you probably never heard of her.
00:01:13Just know that you can't afford to piss her off.
00:01:17Really?
00:01:18Ellen Musk is flying all the way to Atlanta just to come to some flea market.
00:01:23You don't think that she could be coming to see me?
00:01:28Coming to see you?
00:01:31Alright, you know what, I'll play your game.
00:01:34If she does it so much as give you a glance, I'll eat dirt.
00:01:40Deal.
00:01:49Ellen Musk, get to the flea market within ten minutes.
00:01:53Or else, you're fired.
00:01:58Hmm.
00:02:13Prepare the limo.
00:02:15Ms. Lockhart requires us immediately.
00:02:23Ah, your ten minutes is almost up.
00:02:27Good.
00:02:28Hope you don't wet your pants.
00:02:29Five, four, three, two, one.
00:02:41Ellen!
00:02:42Uh, I mean, Ms. Musk!
00:02:44Ellen!
00:02:45Uh, I mean, uh, I'm sorry that I, uh, sorry to frighten you.
00:02:50How's my boss bitch?
00:02:52Kickin' ass, girlfriend.
00:02:55So, how do you, like...
00:02:57She's my boss?
00:02:59Eh, I prefer business partner or best friend.
00:03:04No way.
00:03:08Well?
00:03:13No, no, I'm sorry for offending your boss.
00:03:15No, I won't do it again!
00:03:20Alright, that's enough.
00:03:21We're not tyrants here.
00:03:25Sir, I found Angela Lockhart.
00:03:35You mean Angela Lockhart.
00:03:37I honor my pride.
00:03:40You made me lose one million dollars in just one game of poker.
00:03:44Who are you?
00:03:48Where is she?
00:03:49Atlanta.
00:03:50And you were right.
00:03:51It was secretly hers.
00:03:52My clever bride.
00:03:54I will chase you to the end of the world if I have to.
00:04:00Max, prep the jet.
00:04:02I'm heading to Atlanta.
00:04:08Dr. Wilson, Devin Sterling's on the move.
00:04:10He's headed to Atlanta.
00:04:12Atlanta?
00:04:13The game is afoot.
00:04:14I'm going.
00:04:15Wait, Dr. Wilson.
00:04:16The Prince of Bhutan needs your medical help.
00:04:18Me?
00:04:20Dr. Wilson, the Prince of Bhutan needs your medical attention.
00:04:22He can wait.
00:04:23I need to pick up my bride.
00:04:28Dr. Wilson!
00:04:35General Eisenhower reporting, sir!
00:04:38Devin Sterling and Shane Wilson are headed to Atlanta!
00:04:41Atlanta!
00:04:43Where is that?
00:04:45Whatever! Prepare my warplane!
00:04:47Those two are going after my fiancee.
00:04:50This is war.
00:05:07I've secretly allowed your husband, Jared Cooper,
00:05:09to win the bid on the Maple Plaza project
00:05:11like you asked me to.
00:05:13Thank you so much, Ellen.
00:05:15This is going to be the best anniversary gift ever.
00:05:18That project is worth billions.
00:05:20He can finally take his company public.
00:05:22But, Angela...
00:05:24My boss...
00:05:26I don't understand why you do so much for him
00:05:28behind the scenes without ever
00:05:30revealing your true identity.
00:05:32Without your backing...
00:05:35No offense, but he's nothing without you.
00:05:37Well, three years ago...
00:05:48You saved me.
00:05:54He saved me, and I fell in love with him instantly.
00:05:57I didn't want to reveal my true identity
00:05:59because I didn't want him to feel the pressure
00:06:01of being with a billionaire heiress.
00:06:03But now, with this contract,
00:06:05I can finally tell him
00:06:07that I love him.
00:06:09I can finally tell him
00:06:11that I love him.
00:06:13I can finally tell him
00:06:15that I love him.
00:06:17I feel like we'll be on more equal footing
00:06:19and then I can finally come out to the public.
00:06:21So that's why you have me
00:06:23secretly helping him.
00:06:25I'm sure he'll be moved
00:06:27when he finds out.
00:06:30But why work at the flea market?
00:06:32Are you...
00:06:34disguising yourself to test him?
00:06:36Well, these exotic spices
00:06:38are incredibly rare
00:06:40and cost a fortune to find.
00:06:42Plus, I get to make the best dishes
00:06:44for my hubby and his mom.
00:06:47You seem happy being a housewife.
00:06:52Where the hell are you?
00:06:54Don't tell me you were selling junk
00:06:56at the flea market again.
00:06:58Get home, stat!
00:07:00It's a big day today!
00:07:02That was...
00:07:04My mother-in-law, Carol.
00:07:06She judges me because she thinks
00:07:08I come from a lower-class family.
00:07:10But she's going to be ecstatic tonight
00:07:12when I finally come out and tell her
00:07:14who I really am.
00:07:17Happy anniversary.
00:07:23Please spend more time with my son.
00:07:27Hi, I'm home!
00:07:29I have a big announcement I have to make.
00:07:31Finally, you're back.
00:07:33Now sign the divorce papers!
00:07:37Divorce papers?
00:07:39Is this some sort of
00:07:41misunderstanding, Mom?
00:07:43God!
00:07:46Mom again?
00:07:48We're ending that relationship.
00:07:50Just look at you.
00:07:52Dirt all over.
00:07:54You're selling the title of Mrs. Cooper.
00:07:56You don't deserve my son.
00:07:58You're way below his league.
00:08:00I'm below his league?
00:08:02That's right.
00:08:04You are.
00:08:06Jared is signing a $100 billion
00:08:08contract tomorrow with THE Elon Musk.
00:08:10And then his company's going public.
00:08:12That's how much he's accomplished
00:08:14But you?
00:08:16You're still just a stinky, hippie peddler.
00:08:20Jared's like the king in the clouds.
00:08:22And you?
00:08:24You will always just be a pawn.
00:08:26Like dirt
00:08:30on our shoes.
00:08:32Dirt on your shoes?
00:08:34But Elon Musk works for me.
00:08:38You're delusional.
00:08:40You will never upgrade to a queen.
00:08:43How dare you compare yourself to the real deal here.
00:08:47Resorting to lies.
00:08:49Definitely not good enough for Jared.
00:08:51And who are you
00:08:53to come into my house
00:08:55and meddle with my family matters?
00:08:59You're nothing but a pathetic
00:09:01excuse for a wife.
00:09:05Jared deserves a queen like Kaylee.
00:09:07Not a lowlife dirtbag.
00:09:09Enough!
00:09:12Jared, I knew you wouldn't divorce me.
00:09:16But I am.
00:09:18Don't fight it, Angela.
00:09:20Here's $500,000.
00:09:22You'll never make as much as a
00:09:24hippie peddler selling spices.
00:09:26Now sign the papers, take your check,
00:09:28and leave.
00:09:30Don't embarrass yourself further.
00:09:34I've done so much for you
00:09:36these past three years.
00:09:38Did that not mean anything to you?
00:09:40I didn't expect you to be so greedy.
00:09:42Fine.
00:09:44Here's another $200,000.
00:09:46$500,000 is too much for her already.
00:09:48She's done nothing.
00:09:50Hasn't even contributed
00:09:52a grandchild.
00:09:54She just sells cheap grass all day.
00:09:56Is that really how much
00:09:58I'm worth to all of you?
00:10:00I took care of both of you
00:10:02these past three years.
00:10:04You think
00:10:06we can't just hire a maid
00:10:09to cook for us or something?
00:10:11And she wouldn't embarrass us
00:10:13with that permanent stench?
00:10:15A hippie peddler becoming
00:10:17the wife of a CEO?
00:10:19What a joke.
00:10:21If you actually love my son,
00:10:23you'll sign the damn divorce papers
00:10:25already.
00:10:27And leave!
00:10:29You really think that Jared
00:10:31would have gotten that Mabel Plaza
00:10:33bid without me, let alone
00:10:35taking the company public?
00:10:38For you, Jared.
00:10:40Now you take credit for my son's success?
00:10:46It's all
00:10:48my work.
00:10:50Baby,
00:10:52we're going to be late for the auction
00:10:54if we keep letting this psycho
00:10:56stall us.
00:10:58You did say you would win me
00:11:00Princess Diana's tiara, didn't you?
00:11:02So,
00:11:04she's the reason for the divorce.
00:11:07She's worth more than you, Angela.
00:11:11Fine.
00:11:13I'll sign it.
00:11:15But don't regret it.
00:11:17Regret?
00:11:19Do you know who I am?
00:11:21Yeah, a cockroach that only
00:11:23knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed?
00:11:25I'm Eric Vanderbilt's
00:11:27only daughter.
00:11:29Jared winning the bid
00:11:31on Mabel Plaza
00:11:33was because of my dad.
00:11:35Because he's business partners with Elon Musk.
00:11:37It's part of the power
00:11:39that I have
00:11:41as an elite.
00:11:43You can't do shit
00:11:45because you're poor.
00:11:47Social stratum matters.
00:11:49Yeah, social stratum does matter.
00:11:51And the Coopers
00:11:53are beneath me.
00:11:55And you really think
00:11:57Elon Musk would come to Atlanta
00:11:59if it weren't for me?
00:12:01Ha! You're delusional.
00:12:04Now sign the papers and scram!
00:12:10You owe me.
00:12:12You dirty bitch. You sicken me.
00:12:20You hit me.
00:12:24Now sign the papers,
00:12:26take a check, and get the fuck out!
00:12:34I don't need
00:12:36your penny money.
00:12:40We're finished.
00:12:42You don't want the money? That's your loss.
00:12:44Your check
00:12:46is just pennies to me.
00:12:48But I would like
00:12:50my ring back.
00:12:53Have fun
00:12:55on your economy flight
00:12:57while I catch a ride on my private helicopter
00:12:59out of here.
00:13:05And I'm way out of your
00:13:07league.
00:13:11I'm sorry.
00:13:13I'm sorry.
00:13:15I'm sorry.
00:13:17I'm sorry.
00:13:19I'm sorry.
00:13:22Isn't that
00:13:24the Winston Blue Diamond Ring?
00:13:26It's worth
00:13:28tens of millions of dollars.
00:13:30Oh,
00:13:32it's probably just cheap glass.
00:13:34Something she found at the flea market.
00:13:36You're right.
00:13:38She could never afford anything so expensive.
00:13:42Congrats,
00:13:44Jared Boo Boo,
00:13:46on getting rid of that dirt bag.
00:13:48Oh!
00:13:50My dad says there's going to be a secret
00:13:52big shot financial tycoon
00:13:54at tomorrow's summit.
00:13:56Bigger big shot than Elon Musk?
00:13:58Yeah.
00:14:00And nobody's met them, but I can introduce you.
00:14:04Everything's thanks to you, babe.
00:14:20Angela,
00:14:22Mr. Vanderbilt, the richest man in Georgia,
00:14:24wants to schedule a meeting before the bidding.
00:14:26Vanderbilt?
00:14:28Yeah, he's actually CEO of one of our companies.
00:14:30Basically our employee.
00:14:32Okay, I'll meet him at the summit tomorrow.
00:14:34You're still going to the summit tomorrow?
00:14:36But you and Jared Cooper are already divorced.
00:14:38That's exactly why I'm going.
00:14:50Angela Lockhart,
00:14:52I finally found you.
00:14:54Who is he?
00:14:56That?
00:14:58That's Devin Sterling.
00:15:00He's number one on Forbes'
00:15:0230 under 30 list,
00:15:04an early investor of crypto,
00:15:06CEO of Sterling Enterprises.
00:15:08Rumor has it he's worth trading with you.
00:15:10I don't think so.
00:15:12I don't think so.
00:15:14I don't think so.
00:15:16I don't think so.
00:15:19Rumor has it he's worth trillions.
00:15:21And he's
00:15:23your fiancé.
00:15:25What?
00:15:27My fiancé?
00:15:29The one and only.
00:15:31So, after running away
00:15:33and leaving me single for three years,
00:15:35have you figured out
00:15:37how you're going to make it up to me yet?
00:15:39Babe?
00:15:42Hmm.
00:15:48That tiara looks perfect on you.
00:15:54What is she doing here?
00:15:58You skank!
00:16:00My son just divorced you yesterday
00:16:02and you're already hooking up
00:16:04with another man?
00:16:06Divorced?
00:16:08That's right.
00:16:10I guess this was never meant to be, Mr...
00:16:12Sterling.
00:16:14Devin Sterling.
00:16:16So she has to hide her
00:16:18marital status to find another man.
00:16:20Guess she's not just a forsaken woman,
00:16:22she's also a stinky
00:16:24penniless whore.
00:16:28How dare you insult my boss
00:16:30like that.
00:16:32Who the fuck are you, bitch?
00:16:34Do you know who I am?
00:16:36They don't know who you are.
00:16:40You hide it well.
00:16:42X-Team!
00:16:44Teach these fools a lesson.
00:16:46Teach these
00:16:48fools a lesson.
00:16:52Sir, you were
00:16:54kind of in a rush when you flew to Atlanta
00:16:56and then to New York.
00:16:58You forgot to bring the security team.
00:17:04Mind if I
00:17:06borrow your men?
00:17:09Toss these ill-mannered
00:17:13hips out.
00:17:15Oh, you bitch.
00:17:17I'll have my son teach you a real lesson.
00:17:25A kiss as a reward,
00:17:27my lady.
00:17:29No.
00:17:32Uh,
00:17:34guest list is very
00:17:36distinguished tonight.
00:17:38You've got Bill Ford,
00:17:40Harvey Buffett, old money
00:17:42like me. Gentlemen,
00:17:44Harvey, Bill, this is Jared Cooper.
00:17:46Pleased to meet you all. Your families
00:17:48all started empires after the
00:17:50Industrial Revolution. What an honor.
00:17:52I heard you secured the
00:17:54Maple Plaza project. That's worth
00:17:56billions of dollars. Congrats.
00:17:58You'll be next. Thank you.
00:18:01But we haven't received the contract yet.
00:18:03We deserve it. Oh, that's nothing.
00:18:05I introduced this kid to Ellen Musk.
00:18:07Vanderbilts and Ms. Musk have always had a
00:18:09good relationship. So
00:18:11thought I'd help the kid out, pull a few
00:18:13strings. Thank you, Mr. Manville.
00:18:15Now, we just
00:18:17have to impress Ms. Musk's special
00:18:19guest of honor. Yes.
00:18:21I heard they're a very
00:18:23important and powerful guest.
00:18:25Even wealthier than Ellen
00:18:27Musk. Now, if we
00:18:29can just secure a position with this
00:18:31big shot, we can feast
00:18:33for generations.
00:18:37I'll do my best.
00:18:43Excuse me. A second, gentlemen.
00:18:45What if it's the
00:18:47Prince of Bhutan?
00:18:51How did a hobo like you sneak in here?
00:18:53Me? A hobo?
00:18:55How did a cheating scumbag like you
00:18:58sneak in here? You sleep your way in?
00:19:00I told you, Angela Lockhart, don't bother
00:19:02stalking me. Nothing will come of it
00:19:04and it only sickens me further.
00:19:06Don't flatter yourself.
00:19:10This is your
00:19:12ex-husband?
00:19:14What, were you blindfolded when you
00:19:16married him? Who the hell is this?
00:19:18You were cheating on me?
00:19:28Son,
00:19:30you have to avenge me and Kaylee.
00:19:32That wicked ex-wife of yours
00:19:34hired some thugs and a gigolo
00:19:36to beat us up.
00:19:38They even took Kaylee's tiara.
00:19:52You dare hurt
00:19:54my mom and Kaylee?
00:19:57Get your hands off of her!
00:20:03My lady.
00:20:19My queen.
00:20:27It's...
00:20:29It's him!
00:20:31He scammed a million dollars off me
00:20:33in a game of poker yesterday.
00:20:35Who are these peasants?
00:20:37These seats are reserved for thee,
00:20:39Ellen Musk and her special guest.
00:20:41Oh, shut up, old man.
00:20:43You're disturbing the peace.
00:20:47Fuckers, you know who that is?
00:20:49That's Eric Vance.
00:20:51Fuckers, you know who that is?
00:20:53That's Eric Vanderbilt.
00:20:55You have any idea how many generations of wealth he has?
00:20:57His ancestors built the railway
00:20:59and steamship empire of America.
00:21:01This civil war would not have been won
00:21:03without his family's involvement.
00:21:05Vanderbilt.
00:21:07The father of that skank,
00:21:09Kaylee Vanderbilt,
00:21:11who only knows how to crawl her way
00:21:13into a married man's bed.
00:21:15That
00:21:17lonely Vanderbilt family?
00:21:20Oh,
00:21:22goddammit.
00:21:24Stomachache now?
00:21:28Whatever.
00:21:30Angela can handle herself.
00:21:32She'll be fine.
00:21:34How dare you call one of us low?
00:21:36I'm Harvey Evan Buffett,
00:21:38the most important investor
00:21:40in the entire stock market!
00:21:42I can wipe you out
00:21:44with a simple pinky only.
00:21:46And I can wipe you out
00:21:48with just a simple pinky.
00:21:50I'm not a fool.
00:21:52You're a fool.
00:21:54You're a fool!
00:21:56You're a fool!
00:21:58You're a fool!
00:22:00You're a fool!
00:22:02And I can wipe you out with just a strand of my hair.
00:22:06Not with me around.
00:22:08I, Bill Ford, and the entire Ford Auto Empire stand with these gentlemen.
00:22:13You're all just peasants compared to who I really am.
00:22:18You're fucking delusional, Angela.
00:22:20We've had enough of your games.
00:22:22Security! Break their limbs and toss them out.
00:22:26Looks like the old guard's teaming up against you.
00:22:29But don't worry. You got new money here.
00:22:34I can handle myself, thank you.
00:22:37Yes, my queen.
00:22:39You're all despicable.
00:22:42An insult to your family names.
00:22:47Now, it's my turn to rule.
00:22:50Destroy Jared Cooper.
00:22:53Cut off all business ties.
00:22:55And if you don't...
00:22:57I will take away all of your family's wealth and power.
00:23:02Ha! I knew it!
00:23:04You're here to fuck with me.
00:23:06You can't fool anyone here.
00:23:08How much money did you spend on that get-up to hire that gigolo to make me jealous?
00:23:12You're an orphan who sells hippie spices at a flea market.
00:23:16You have nothing. And you will always be nothing.
00:23:21She's a gold digger.
00:23:23Gold digger?
00:23:24Gigolo.
00:23:25Gigolo.
00:23:27Wanna try me for a night?
00:23:30Yeah, you're a little too pricey.
00:23:32Mr. Vanderbilt, we really shouldn't keep these bandits here any longer.
00:23:35They might upset Miss Ellen Musk and her special guest.
00:23:38Angela Lockhart is my spurned ex-wife.
00:23:40She's only here to try and ruin my bill in the Maple Plaza project.
00:23:43Oh, I'm gonna kill that sushi chef!
00:23:45Security!
00:23:51Security!
00:23:53You all don't realize that you actually all work for me.
00:23:56And now you're trying to throw a coup?
00:23:59You!
00:24:01Insolent fools.
00:24:03Let me guess.
00:24:04You're that special guest?
00:24:07I don't know.
00:24:08Throw them out!
00:24:10And not without some broken bones, too.
00:24:19You can back down now.
00:24:23I got this.
00:24:25I got this.
00:24:51What the hell are you two doing here?
00:24:53I thought we were supposed to guard you.
00:24:55No, you're supposed to make sure Miss Lockhart is okay.
00:24:58Oh my god, we're so screwed!
00:25:09Angela!
00:25:11Don't hurt her!
00:25:12You bitch.
00:25:13I've always been sick of you.
00:25:15You just threw yourself at me.
00:25:16How dare you insult my boss like that?
00:25:19Boss?
00:25:20Did she say her boss?
00:25:21Her boss.
00:25:22Miss Musk?
00:25:23That's Ellen Musk?
00:25:25That woman right there is Angela Lockhart.
00:25:27My boss and sole heiress to the Henry Lockhart's fortune.
00:25:31Their lineage is older than this country itself.
00:25:34Past the American Revolution?
00:25:36Back to the Renaissance.
00:25:38If she's your boss, then that means Angela Lockhart is...
00:25:41That's Lady Lockhart to you.
00:25:43She's royalty.
00:25:44And since you're all subsidiaries, she's your boss's boss.
00:25:48What the hell did you do?
00:25:49Kneel!
00:25:50To me?
00:25:51Oh, your majesty.
00:25:54Welcome to the United States.
00:25:57We've always been your loyal subjects.
00:26:00Yes, your highness.
00:26:02Is it a queen or princess?
00:26:04It doesn't matter.
00:26:06My queen, please forgive our insolence.
00:26:09Yes, we didn't mean to offend.
00:26:12What are you doing, you idiot?
00:26:14Let go of the boss lady and beg for forgiveness.
00:26:21What rightfully belongs to you.
00:26:43She's a badass herself.
00:26:45He missed out on a good wife.
00:26:48He missed out on a good wife.
00:26:50You, you, you told me your wife was a hippie peddler.
00:26:54Turns out you were the freeloading scumbag this entire time.
00:26:57No, no, don't believe their lies.
00:26:59I worked hard for everything.
00:27:01You worked for everything?
00:27:07Hi, honey.
00:27:09So, our 30th anniversary is coming up,
00:27:12and I thought that maybe we can do something special this year.
00:27:15I can't focus on anything trivial like that.
00:27:17I have to figure out this bid for the Maple Plaza project,
00:27:20and if I get it, I can take the company public.
00:27:30You were nothing before me.
00:27:33All your achievements, all your glory,
00:27:36that's all mine.
00:27:38Including the Maple Plaza contract.
00:27:41I can take all of that away.
00:27:44Just like that.
00:27:46No, you can't take that away from me.
00:27:48That's why Ellen Musk was urging us to pass on deals to this nobody.
00:27:52Oh, and this antique wedding ring?
00:27:55Yeah, I forgot to tell you.
00:27:57It was Queen Victoria's,
00:27:59and its worth is equivalent to more than an entire country's GDP.
00:28:08Oh, no.
00:28:09I gave you back the ring?
00:28:11I divorced a royal heiress?
00:28:14No! No, Angela, please, no!
00:28:17No, please take me back, baby!
00:28:19I still love you!
00:28:24Oh, man, looks like they've started the party without us.
00:28:27No one's allowed to start a fight without Cole Eisenhower.
00:28:36God, these two again.
00:28:38Did he say... is he Cole Eisenhower?
00:28:41President Eisenhower's descendant.
00:28:43President Eisenhower won World War II.
00:28:45Each of his descendants have all gone on to become five-star generals,
00:28:48the highest rank in the nation's military.
00:28:50Bloody buffoons know your history.
00:28:52Sorry I'm late, babe. I got lost trying to find Atlanta.
00:28:55Then lost again on my way back to New York.
00:29:02And that there is...
00:29:04that is the legendary boy genius, Dr. Wilson.
00:29:07He's Dr. House's protege.
00:29:09Dr. House? I thought that was just a TV show.
00:29:12Oh, no, that's based on a real figure.
00:29:14Yep, that's me. Son of James House.
00:29:17Dr. House? He's practically my uncle.
00:29:19I correctly diagnosed the Pope before him when I was just 12 years old.
00:29:23So he's been off carrying himself a waterfall somewhere in the Netherlands
00:29:27for the last 15 years.
00:29:29And I'm late because I ran out of gum and had to make a pit stop.
00:29:37Hey, Ellen, who are these weirdos and why are they here?
00:29:41Ah, they're all your fiancées.
00:29:44What?
00:29:46Fiancées?
00:29:48Plural?
00:29:50Fiancées.
00:29:51Plural?
00:29:53Watch it, nurse. I'm her fiancé.
00:29:55No, I'm her fiancé.
00:29:57You can both shut up. I'm her fiancé.
00:30:00It's you.
00:30:01It's me.
00:30:02Who the hell is he?
00:30:03I'm Spider-Man.
00:30:06How are all three of these men my fiancé?
00:30:10Your father had arranged these engagements years ago,
00:30:13but I didn't tell you because you decided to marry Jared Cooper at the time.
00:30:17She has three badass fiancées and she marries his dumb ass.
00:30:24Whatever.
00:30:25Since you're all here, help me finish him.
00:30:30Since you're all here, help me finish him.
00:30:35At your service.
00:30:37Me too.
00:30:41Oh!
00:30:43One down, two more to go.
00:30:45She's become queen.
00:30:46Bishop to G4.
00:30:51Ow! Ow! Ow! What is that?
00:30:55The most German festin' water in the Nile River.
00:31:01Rook to A8.
00:31:07Hello?
00:31:11I thought I was king.
00:31:12No, you wish.
00:31:13The king doesn't do anything.
00:31:15So, Alan can be my king.
00:31:17Oh, fine.
00:31:22Bankrupt to four. It's right this second.
00:31:29I...
00:31:31I've been bankrupt!
00:31:33No!
00:31:34Rook to A8.
00:31:41I've been bankrupt!
00:31:43No!
00:31:44I told you I would remove all of you from status and power if you didn't cooperate.
00:31:49Well, guess what?
00:31:50Game over.
00:31:51All right, boys.
00:31:52Let's figure out this four-way engagement.
00:31:55Oh, that's serious business.
00:31:57I'm right with you.
00:32:00Wait for me.
00:32:01Nobody beats me to the finish line.
00:32:11Angela!
00:32:15You already have three fiancés?
00:32:17You can't accuse me of cheating.
00:32:19I want compensation.
00:32:24You greedy SOB.
00:32:26Who the fuck is that?
00:32:27My ex-husband.
00:32:29Wait, you were married?
00:32:31Yeah, and if that's a problem for you, then you can totally back out of this engagement.
00:32:36More for me?
00:32:37No, no, of course not.
00:32:38Of course not.
00:32:39Just...
00:32:40Do you want me to check your eyes for you?
00:32:42Don't steal my joke.
00:32:43I can make him disappear without a trace.
00:32:45All evidence of your past with him will be gone.
00:32:49What?
00:32:50Is there something on my face?
00:32:51Uh, yeah.
00:32:52Murderous intent.
00:32:54Let's remarry.
00:32:56Let's remarry.
00:32:58You still don't realize.
00:33:00I only fell in love with you because you saved me from drowning three years ago.
00:33:08I'm sorry.
00:33:31Sir, it's an emergency.
00:33:33We need to wreck right away.
00:33:34Nicole Eisenhower and Shane Wilson are causing mayhem at the company warehouse.
00:33:38Okay, I'm on my way.
00:33:42She should be okay now.
00:33:47Hey, you!
00:33:49Watch over here.
00:33:50I'll be right back.
00:33:59You saved me.
00:34:04Fuck.
00:34:05I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:34:09Fuck.
00:34:10I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:34:12You've cheated on me.
00:34:14You've hit me.
00:34:15And you've insulted me.
00:34:17And after all that, I never want to see you again.
00:34:21I fucking hate you.
00:34:24Lady Lockhart!
00:34:26What?
00:34:27What now?
00:34:28Yes, we understand that you are a very busy person,
00:34:32but if you're not going to give your ex-husband the Maple Plaza project...
00:34:36How about us three?
00:34:37Yes.
00:34:38Unlike that scumbag, we won't turn on you.
00:34:42Yeah, no.
00:34:43You're all fired for trying to throw a coup.
00:34:45But...
00:34:47This is your fault, you doofus!
00:34:48We never should have believed your bullshit!
00:34:51No.
00:34:52No.
00:34:53We can't lose our positions with Ellen Musk and the Lockharts.
00:34:58Help me!
00:35:00I'll get you for this!
00:35:07I never should have listened to you!
00:35:09I'm ruined because of you!
00:35:24So, what's the situation here?
00:35:27I want to marry you!
00:35:37I want to marry you!
00:35:40Listen.
00:35:42I only met you guys a few hours ago,
00:35:44and I'm not interested in flash marriages.
00:35:47But what if I told you
00:35:50that we've known each other for much longer
00:35:52than just a few hours?
00:35:53Much longer.
00:35:58Angela?
00:35:59Your parents would like to have a video call with all of you.
00:36:06My lovely princess, how are you?
00:36:09Look, your mother and I are in Italy!
00:36:11The views here are absolutely stunning.
00:36:14Perfect for a wedding, wouldn't you say?
00:36:16I heard you finally divorced that good-for-nothing,
00:36:21blood-sucking, freeloader husband of yours.
00:36:24Can't call his name, but...
00:36:26Anyway, congratulations!
00:36:28I've selected three prime young men
00:36:31for you to choose from to replace him.
00:36:33Oh, you must pick one of them to marry.
00:36:36Otherwise...
00:36:37Let me do it.
00:36:39You must choose one of them in seven days.
00:36:42Otherwise, we'll kill ourselves.
00:36:46Mom!
00:36:47All right, honey, that's it.
00:36:49Bye! Bye!
00:36:51Bye!
00:36:55So, who are you going to choose?
00:36:59Well, what if I want all three of you?
00:37:04Well, what if I want all three of you?
00:37:10That seems greedy.
00:37:12But...
00:37:14I can always remove the other two options.
00:37:18Hey!
00:37:19I may be a doctor, but I can take lives too.
00:37:22I know and have access
00:37:24to all the deadliest poisons in the world.
00:37:27Well, okay.
00:37:28No murder, please.
00:37:29I was just kidding.
00:37:32You have seven days to win her over.
00:37:34Ooh.
00:37:35It's like the Bachelor and the Bachelorette.
00:37:39Ooh.
00:37:40It's like the Bachelorette.
00:37:42I know.
00:37:43We'll start with challenge one.
00:37:47Welcome to the show,
00:37:48The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
00:37:50Today, we have our first challenge.
00:37:55What is all of this, Ellen?
00:37:58You'll see.
00:38:00Oh, my God!
00:38:01Oh, my God!
00:38:02Cockroaches!
00:38:03All women are afraid of cockroaches.
00:38:06And it is every man's job to save their beloved woman
00:38:09from this monstrosity of a creature.
00:38:11What will our three candidates do
00:38:13to prove their undying love for our single woman
00:38:16but screaming her head off heiress?
00:38:18What will our three candidates do
00:38:20to prove their undying love for our single woman
00:38:23but screaming her head off heiress?
00:38:33Looks like one of our contestants has already called it quits.
00:38:36It's up to the final two.
00:38:49Whoa.
00:39:00Crunchy.
00:39:02That is sick cold.
00:39:04Hey, when you're stranded in the middle of the battlefield,
00:39:07you'll be glad to see one of these around.
00:39:10There are two more left.
00:39:12Want to try one?
00:39:13Oh, my God, no.
00:39:14No.
00:39:16Oh, my God.
00:39:17Oh, my God.
00:39:18Save me.
00:39:19Save you?
00:39:20Save me!
00:39:23I'm a germaphobe doctor.
00:39:25These hands can't get germs on them.
00:39:27They're for surgery and saving lives.
00:39:44Thank God you're here.
00:39:47Are you all right, honey?
00:39:50Angela.
00:39:53All right, you won the first challenge,
00:39:55so your reward,
00:39:57you get to watch over her for the night.
00:39:59Just don't cross the line, if you know what I mean.
00:40:02I'm not her scumbag husband.
00:40:04You have nothing to worry about.
00:40:10Honestly, even if you guys fuck,
00:40:12it's not like it's against the rules or anything.
00:40:14At least my girlfriend gets some.
00:40:16I bet her husband has a small dick anyway.
00:40:20The cockroaches.
00:40:21They're gone, they're gone.
00:40:23There's nothing in this room except you and me, okay?
00:40:27I'm going to kill Ellen when I see her tomorrow.
00:40:34I need a drink.
00:40:43Whoa, easy.
00:40:44You're on an empty stomach.
00:40:46Why do you care?
00:40:48I'm trying to drink away your sorrows, Angela.
00:40:53You guys were right.
00:40:55I was blind from marrying that asshole.
00:40:58You know,
00:41:00I wasted three whole years of my life with him.
00:41:04He never even loved me.
00:41:06And I gave up my entire career for him.
00:41:10Do you really think that you would still be number one
00:41:12on the Forbes 30 under 30 list if I was around?
00:41:18You may not be number one on Forbes list,
00:41:20but you know what you're number one in?
00:41:23What?
00:41:27You're number one here.
00:41:34You know,
00:41:37you know,
00:41:39we've known each other kind of a long time.
00:41:41Lies.
00:41:44You all just want something from me.
00:41:51Angela,
00:41:53I know it's hard to trust again,
00:41:56but I assure you,
00:41:58I don't care what family you're from.
00:42:02I'm the richest man in the nation.
00:42:04I don't need your power,
00:42:06your status, your wealth,
00:42:09your connections.
00:42:12I just need you.
00:42:16I'll prove my love to you within six days.
00:42:18I promise.
00:42:30Screw the contest.
00:42:32I just want love.
00:42:35Angela,
00:42:37you're drunk.
00:42:38I'm an adult.
00:42:39Can't a girl just get what she wants?
00:42:42Okay.
00:42:47But love and sex aren't exactly the same thing.
00:42:51Well, they're not mutually exclusive either.
00:43:03If this is what you want.
00:43:06Okay.
00:43:31Nine-inch penis.
00:43:33Morning to you, too.
00:43:35You sure you were drunk last night?
00:43:37You wouldn't...
00:43:38A girl remembers when she's had a nine-inch penis inside of her.
00:43:43Well, glad you enjoyed it.
00:43:46But don't tell Shane or Cole.
00:43:49Because then they would...
00:43:51Say that you were being unfair?
00:43:53Technically, us having sex doesn't break any rules.
00:43:56I won the first challenge,
00:43:58and according to Ellen,
00:44:00my prize was to spend a night with you anyways.
00:44:03Don't make this any harder than it already is.
00:44:09Are you sure you don't want it pretty hard?
00:44:13Stop.
00:44:16Fine, fine, fine.
00:44:20I won't tell.
00:44:23But only on one condition.
00:44:26I won't tell.
00:44:29But only on one condition.
00:44:31You have to go out on a date with me.
00:44:35Fine.
00:44:39I've had a crush on you since college, Angela.
00:44:42You never noticed me.
00:44:48You should get dressed and get out of here before anyone sees you.
00:44:54It's only 7 a.m. She's still sleeping.
00:44:56I'm not sleeping alone.
00:44:57Yeah, I'm not letting my fiancée be alone with another man for another second.
00:45:03Morning, gentlemen.
00:45:05Oh, or shall I say ruffmen?
00:45:07Oh, don't mind him.
00:45:10What's up, guys?
00:45:11We're ready for the second challenge.
00:45:13No cockroaches this time.
00:45:15Yes, no more terrifying things.
00:45:17That was my bad, Angela.
00:45:19This better be a good challenge, Ellen.
00:45:21I'm sure you'll all enjoy this one.
00:45:23The second challenge is...
00:45:26The second challenge is...
00:45:28a date.
00:45:29Lame. I should have asked for something else.
00:45:31A date?
00:45:33That's it.
00:45:34What's the catch?
00:45:35No catch.
00:45:36Just who Ms. Lockhart enjoys spending her time with the most.
00:45:39As simple as that.
00:45:40I know what I want to do.
00:45:41Let's start with me first.
00:45:42Okay. Who's up first? Then...
00:45:44Me.
00:45:45Save the best for last.
00:45:47Ain't that right, Angela?
00:45:49Then it's decided.
00:45:52Please, don't take my BMW away.
00:45:56Too bad.
00:45:57You pissed off the Lockharts.
00:45:59I have nothing left.
00:46:10It's that bitch who ruined me.
00:46:15It's that bitch who ruined me.
00:46:22You know Eisenhower, sir?
00:46:24At ease, Lieutenant.
00:46:26This is my lieutenant.
00:46:27He also manages this boxing gym.
00:46:29Pleasure to meet you, Madam Eisenhower.
00:46:31He's so serious.
00:46:33But hang on.
00:46:35Lieutenant, I don't know who I'm going to marry yet.
00:46:38Baby, I decided to take you here on our first date
00:46:40so that I can introduce you to my guns.
00:46:42Guns? Like murder weapons?
00:46:45Yes.
00:46:47Murder weapons.
00:46:50Murder weapons.
00:47:10You like my guns, babe?
00:47:12Pretty Lockhart.
00:47:13Yeah.
00:47:15Let me show you what I can do with them.
00:47:17Lieutenant, come close.
00:47:20Wait, you're just going to hit him like that?
00:47:22He's not even going to fight back?
00:47:24Fighting back would be treason, ma'am.
00:47:26Treason?
00:47:27You guys are way too serious.
00:47:30Look, you Lockhart bitch, I caught you.
00:47:32If I'm going down, you're all going down with me.
00:47:35Lieutenant, here's your attack.
00:47:48You dare try to hurt my wife?
00:47:53I will make you pay!
00:47:56If you don't need to keep beating him up,
00:47:58we could just take him to the cops.
00:48:00Not when he tries to hurt you.
00:48:08Zoe's a bit violent.
00:48:10Some might call it being protective.
00:48:12Poor anger issues.
00:48:14What if we get married and I forget to use a coaster
00:48:16on an antique table or something?
00:48:18Is he going to be, like, rough?
00:48:21Hey, some girls are into that.
00:48:23I don't know if I am.
00:48:26Well, maybe shame will be your type.
00:48:32Your date with shame starts now.
00:48:37Hey.
00:48:38Hey.
00:48:40Cool ride.
00:48:42A gift from the Chancellor of Germany when I saved his wife.
00:48:45Impressive.
00:48:49Your breath smells like peppermint.
00:48:52Refreshing.
00:48:54I got cool mint, too.
00:48:56Or do you prefer spearmint?
00:48:59What do you not have in this coat of yours?
00:49:02Fruit flavored gum. I can't stand those.
00:49:05So, where are you taking me today?
00:49:07Let me show you.
00:49:15Hello, Wilson.
00:49:17I'm VIP of VIPs.
00:49:19Right this way.
00:49:20VIP of VIPs?
00:49:22Just some other guy I saved.
00:49:24I forget who.
00:49:25You saved a lot of people.
00:49:27I do what I can.
00:49:29Oh, my gosh.
00:49:31It's my gold-digging neighbor who just got dumped by her husband.
00:49:35Sandra Miller.
00:49:37What are you doing here?
00:49:38I just thought this was for the VIP of VIPs.
00:49:41Your mother-in-law told me all about the divorce
00:49:43and how you hired some gigolo to beat her and Kaylee Vanderbilt up.
00:49:48Hello, of you.
00:49:50What are you doing here, Sandra?
00:49:52Of course your bird brain wouldn't remember.
00:49:54I sell high-fashion jewelry pieces so high-end
00:49:57you couldn't even afford even a few soldier organs.
00:50:01The auction begins.
00:50:03I'll deal with you later.
00:50:06Here, I'll just be back soon.
00:50:09Cameron, I have a task for you.
00:50:15Our next piece is absolutely extraordinary.
00:50:18Cleopatra's armband.
00:50:20Sold by our vendor, Sandra Miller.
00:50:24For five million dollars.
00:50:27Excuse me.
00:50:29I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:50:31It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:50:34I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:50:37I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:50:39It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:50:41What are you doing?
00:50:42Just watch.
00:50:49That is Queen Victoria's ring?
00:50:52Please, I'm an expert and that's a fake.
00:50:55She probably got it at the flea market she works at.
00:50:58You work at a flea market?
00:50:59Not this again.
00:51:01Cut the bullshit, that wouldn't even sell for five dollars.
00:51:04Oh yeah?
00:51:05Here, you want it? For free.
00:51:07Ew, I don't want that trash from a stinky hippie peddler.
00:51:12Well, that's too bad then.
00:51:14Because you are the fraud.
00:51:17What are you talking about?
00:51:19And who the hell are you to accuse me?
00:51:21Throw them out.
00:51:23Dr. Wilson, I know you're a legend in medicine.
00:51:26But we're professionals.
00:51:28Oh yeah?
00:51:29And that armband sells for five million dollars?
00:51:32Yeah.
00:51:33Mine is the real thing.
00:51:35You two are just upset because you're too poor to afford our luxury items.
00:51:40Why is that so?
00:51:41When a so-called expert failed to recognize Queen Victoria's ring then?
00:51:45Dear Lord.
00:51:48This is real.
00:51:50It's authentic.
00:51:51It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:51:57Karen, what have you found?
00:51:59Yeah, that picture of Cleopatra's armband you sent me?
00:52:02It's a replica.
00:52:05They have the same one right here at the flea market.
00:52:08So, you are the fraud.
00:52:12You just went to the flea market so you can buy some fakes.
00:52:15And Cameron, how much are these fakes being sold for?
00:52:19One-fifty.
00:52:20Wow, not even five dollars.
00:52:23Sandra.
00:52:25You've been duping us the whole time?
00:52:28Arrest her!
00:52:29No!
00:52:30Please!
00:52:31Even just this one time!
00:52:33Please!
00:52:34What's going on, Dr. Wilson?
00:52:36Uh, investigating lead poisoning from cheap jewelry for the Emperor of Japan.
00:52:40Bye.
00:52:41Block Callista from the jewelry industry forever.
00:52:52I had a really great time tonight.
00:52:55Me too.
00:52:56May I have a kiss?
00:53:13Something wrong?
00:53:14Do you always have gum in your mouth?
00:53:22Yep.
00:53:23You never have to worry about stinky breath from me.
00:53:35You owe us a bunch of money, Cooper.
00:53:40I don't have any money.
00:53:41How did you pay for this hotel then?
00:53:44I guess you'll only pay up if I break your other leg.
00:53:51Stop!
00:53:54Mr. Vanderbilt.
00:53:58Mr. Buffett.
00:54:03This is the contract for the Maple Plaza project.
00:54:06That's right.
00:54:07Miss Musk wanted me to give it to you.
00:54:09I knew Angelo was still in love with me.
00:54:12I knew Angelo was still in love with me.
00:54:15No, no, sir.
00:54:16Sorry about those injuries from earlier.
00:54:18It was all just a little misunderstanding.
00:54:22Yeah, we could be partners again.
00:54:25And then maybe you can tell Lady Lockhart to put in a good word for us?
00:54:30Angela still loves me. She's just throwing a fit.
00:54:33She'll be back to me soon enough.
00:54:35Yeah, do you need any help winning her back?
00:54:38We can give you jewelry to give to her.
00:54:40I was just sucking up to these pricks a few days ago,
00:54:43and now they're all begging me to help them out.
00:54:46It feels so damn good to be in power.
00:54:50Sure.
00:54:51I'll put in a good word for you.
00:54:53I just need...
00:54:54Anything you tell us, we'll give you anything.
00:54:57Once I take everything from these idiots,
00:55:00I'll go after Angela Lockhart for my revenge.
00:55:10I'm giving the contract to Jared Cooper, just like you asked me to.
00:55:13Well done. He'll be fucked soon.
00:55:16Well done. He'll be fucked soon.
00:55:19I don't get it, Ms. Musk.
00:55:21That contract has a preliminary clause.
00:55:23It requires him to pay 50% of the costs up front as a deposit.
00:55:26And if he can't, then what?
00:55:28He'll be bankrupt.
00:55:30So as long as he's greedy enough to take it.
00:55:33I'm avenging my best friend.
00:55:36I want to show the world that without Angela Lockhart, he's nothing.
00:55:41Oh, I signed the Maple Plaza project.
00:55:45We should celebrate.
00:55:47You did?
00:55:48You see, I know my son has it in him.
00:55:51That skank Angela is nothing next to you.
00:55:54And it's all thanks to you, sweetheart.
00:55:57Actually, it's thanks to Angela.
00:56:02What?
00:56:04You're trying to ditch me to go back to your wife?
00:56:07You're trying to ditch me to go back to your wife?
00:56:09Oh, no, no, no, no. He's not.
00:56:11Jared, what are you doing?
00:56:13You have such a beautiful and bright future ahead of you.
00:56:17It's my decision, Mom.
00:56:19I'm the head of the house here.
00:56:21I'm telling my dad.
00:56:23Fine. Go right ahead. He has enough problems himself.
00:56:25If you're obedient, I'll keep you around as his side piece.
00:56:28But if not, you can scram.
00:56:31Dad, Jared is being mean to me.
00:56:34Teach him a lesson.
00:56:36Really, be a good girl, okay?
00:56:38Jared has the backing of some very powerful people now.
00:56:42Don't get on his bad side.
00:56:44We can't afford to piss him off.
00:56:46So do as he says.
00:56:48But Dad!
00:56:56I'm sorry.
00:56:58Be your side piece.
00:57:00Very good. I'm happy you've come around.
00:57:02Now let's go celebrate.
00:57:07I mean, do I really want to be with Mr. Minty Mouth forever, though?
00:57:11But that tongue action, though.
00:57:13Tongue is important.
00:57:15In more than just one spot.
00:57:17We are in public. It's true.
00:57:19Oh! Stomach ache.
00:57:21Again?
00:57:22I have to run to the bathroom.
00:57:24Devin should be here to pick you up soon.
00:57:26Okay.
00:57:27Devin's late.
00:57:29Not a good sign for a date.
00:57:32This hotel restaurant has five Michelin stars.
00:57:37It's her.
00:57:38And she's alone. With no one to save her.
00:57:43You whore.
00:57:44You seduced my son so he'd get back with you.
00:57:50Let me tell you.
00:57:52I would never go back even if your entire family got down on their knees and begged me.
00:57:57Hey, you guys can fight all you want, but you need to take this somewhere else.
00:58:01Whoever gets rid of her for me gets all this.
00:58:04Plus, why do I have to leave? She's the one starting shit.
00:58:07Because I have money and you don't.
00:58:10You're just a stinky hippie peddler.
00:58:12And my son just signed a 100 billion dollar contract.
00:58:16He still got the contract?
00:58:18Hmm.
00:58:19Must be Ellen's doing.
00:58:21Even if he does sign it, he doesn't have the money.
00:58:24Even if he does sign it, he doesn't have the liquidity to pay the deposit up front.
00:58:28Oh, he's just gonna...
00:58:30Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:58:34Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:58:39You take my charity and toss it in my face as if it's your own.
00:58:44My maid wouldn't even pick up such a pitiful amount.
00:58:47One thousand dollars to take her away.
00:58:50Two thousand dollars to drag her away.
00:58:53Five thousand dollars to beat her away.
00:58:59Oh! Oh! Hey! Hey!
00:59:01Ow! Hey!
00:59:02Stop!
00:59:05You okay? Are you hurt?
00:59:11Weakling.
00:59:12You! You! Just a few days ago you found yourself a boy toy right after getting divorced.
00:59:17And now you have two more?
00:59:19What a whore.
00:59:21What a whore.
00:59:22Yeah. And Jared wanted to get back with her?
00:59:25What if she has an STD?
00:59:27Oh, like sleeping with a married man wouldn't give you an STD.
00:59:31Let's go. We'll expose her to Jared.
00:59:35Hang on.
00:59:37What do you want?
00:59:38I'll scream!
00:59:39I don't hit women.
00:59:41But I never said I don't kill women.
00:59:45But I never said I don't kill women.
00:59:47I said I don't kill women.
00:59:50Oh God. He is a murderer.
00:59:52What if he murders me?
00:59:54Not him. Definitely not him.
01:00:00We're not afraid of you.
01:00:02That's enough. This isn't a war zone.
01:00:04You'll be removed from being a five-star general if you hurt a civilian without adequate cause.
01:00:09I was just messing with him.
01:00:11Was he though?
01:00:12We're not afraid of you.
01:00:15Jared! You have to avenge us.
01:00:17Look at this slut. She's found two more boy toys.
01:00:20She's cheating on you. Don't get back with her.
01:00:22Oh, Mr. Cooper. It's you.
01:00:24I apologize for this scene.
01:00:26I'll toss out the potty crashes immediately so that you can go to your salvation banquet.
01:00:30Who did you say you were going to toss out?
01:00:32Who did you say you were going to toss out?
01:00:34The potty crashes.
01:00:38You have any idea who that is?
01:00:40That's my wife.
01:00:42We saved that title for the real skank over there.
01:00:45That's right. Know your place.
01:00:47Shut up.
01:00:48She's cheating on you.
01:00:52Know your place. You're just a side piece.
01:00:54If I still want you, that is.
01:00:56Eric, have you gone mad?
01:00:58This is Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
01:01:00You slap her for this whore?
01:01:02Mom!
01:01:03I really think there's something, huh?
01:01:05Angela's an heiress to a family whose wealth and status goes back to the Victorian age.
01:01:09She's richer even than Ellen Musk.
01:01:12I only got the Maple Closet Project because she gave it to me.
01:01:16What?
01:01:18You apologize right now or I will kick you and your father to the curb.
01:01:27I'm sorry.
01:01:29No.
01:01:31This can't be.
01:01:33I made you divorce...
01:01:38Go home.
01:01:39Go home.
01:01:40You're not suited to come with me to my celebration banquet.
01:01:48I apologize on behalf of my mother.
01:01:51Honey, I know you came here to celebrate my achievements.
01:01:55I promise no one will bother you anymore.
01:01:58I didn't come here for you.
01:02:01I'm on a date.
01:02:03A date with two men at the same time?
01:02:06She really is a whore.
01:02:08Please forgive me.
01:02:10I really do love you.
01:02:13Oh-ho! Lady Lockhart is here!
01:02:17Oh-ho! Lady Lockhart is here!
01:02:22Yeah, we already know you beat Ford's ass.
01:02:25We're too old for that.
01:02:27They're here for my celebration banquet.
01:02:29Please, you gave me the contract, so if anyone should go as my guest of honor, it should be you.
01:02:35Oh, yes, please, Miss Lockhart, join us.
01:02:38We'll all be one happy business family again.
01:02:41What the hell are you all doing here?
01:02:44Where were you?
01:02:45Stomach issues.
01:02:47Again?
01:02:48Would you like my diagnosis?
01:02:50No.
01:02:53Let me make myself clear, okay?
01:02:56I would rather die than be with you again.
01:03:00Seems that they're not actually on good terms.
01:03:04I can't lose face in front of these pricks.
01:03:06Otherwise, they'll cut me off, too.
01:03:07Angela, I know you're still mad, but please give me a chance.
01:03:10I'll prove it to you.
01:03:12You want a chance?
01:03:13Angela, no.
01:03:15You have three great guys here who all want to marry you.
01:03:18Don't take him back.
01:03:20I'll give you two choices.
01:03:24I'll give you two choices.
01:03:27Me or the contract.
01:03:30You're kidding me.
01:03:32No, I'm not kidding you.
01:03:35If you choose me, we can remarry this week.
01:03:39But you don't get the $100 billion contract.
01:03:43The choice is all yours.
01:03:45That's a tough choice.
01:03:47You think so?
01:03:48He either marries a royal heiress or gets a contract that takes his company to the moon.
01:03:52Either way, he benefits.
01:03:54Why can't I have both?
01:03:56You really are a greedy bastard.
01:03:58Angela, I saved you in the pool, remember?
01:04:01You don't deserve the contract.
01:04:03Did you really?
01:04:08Look who's fashionably late now.
01:04:11He didn't save her at the pool.
01:04:13Wait, what are you talking about?
01:04:16I choose the contract.
01:04:19I knew it.
01:04:20You'll get what's coming to you.
01:04:23With this contract, my company's earning potential is limitless.
01:04:27Angela Lockhart, you humiliated me in front of everyone.
01:04:30I will get you one day.
01:04:32Let me show you something.
01:04:45You saved me.
01:04:51You saved me.
01:04:53I'm sorry.
01:04:55If his lies led to you wasting three years of your life,
01:05:00but I promise you,
01:05:02I'm going to make it up to you with the rest of our lives.
01:05:05No, no, I wasn't lying.
01:05:07I just couldn't remember exactly what happened that day.
01:05:18Does that mean we both each saved her once?
01:05:21What? Me?
01:05:24Dr. Wilson losing at saving people?
01:05:26No way.
01:05:28You guys, one of you, do something life-threatening right now.
01:05:32You're crazy.
01:05:34And actually,
01:05:36they've all been doing horrible shit behind your back.
01:05:39What?
01:05:42Mr. Sterling had me investigate their company's dealings.
01:05:45Turns out they've been fudging the numbers on your shared accounts and contracts.
01:05:49Put it simply, they've been stealing from you.
01:05:52I can't believe I didn't realize.
01:05:55Ms. Lockhart, I'm so sorry.
01:05:57I should have had third-party accountants check thoroughly.
01:06:00No, it's not your fault. They're just too slick.
01:06:03You'd like me to punish them for you?
01:06:05Oh God, no. Not that again. Please.
01:06:08Max, you know what to do.
01:06:23The banks have pulled all of our funds.
01:06:26All business ties have been severed.
01:06:28We're bankrupt!
01:06:34How did you do that?
01:06:36Who are you? And don't say Spider-Man!
01:06:41I'll tell you who I am.
01:06:44I'll tell you who I am.
01:06:48I am...
01:06:50Crypto Punk Number Two.
01:06:52What did he say he was?
01:06:54He's more bizarre than Spider-Man.
01:06:57You're Crypto Punk Number Two?
01:06:59Well, I'm Crypto Punk Number One.
01:07:02See? You are number one at something.
01:07:04The most expensive NFT collection in the world.
01:07:07Forget Forbes' list.
01:07:10It's all about young money now.
01:07:12So, how about our date?
01:07:19I'm not letting them one-up me on this one.
01:07:22I'll spy too.
01:07:36They forgot to cancel my contract.
01:07:39I still have the 100 billion dollar project.
01:07:42Yes! I'm rich!
01:07:45They'll make them all pay soon!
01:07:53What?
01:07:54Mr. Cooper, sir.
01:07:56The Maple Plaza contract requires us to provide 50% of the costs up front.
01:08:00Otherwise, it's a breach of contract and we'll have to pay for all financial repercussions.
01:08:04No!
01:08:06I'm bankrupt!
01:08:09I'm just a little awkward.
01:08:10You tricked me!
01:08:17Oh, not me.
01:08:20I'm sorry I was late, my queen.
01:08:23I had to get some very important materials for our special date.
01:08:29Well, cheers.
01:08:31Cheers.
01:08:40This looks good.
01:08:43Did you use my spices?
01:08:46I know your ex-in-laws never appreciated you.
01:08:51You can have all the money and power in the world and you still can't force a man to love you.
01:08:57Couldn't even remember our anniversary.
01:09:01Couldn't even remember our anniversary.
01:09:07Angela, your future with me, it's gonna be different.
01:09:15Come on.
01:09:17Upstairs.
01:09:31Come on.
01:09:37Wow, Devin, I can't believe this is what I've been missing out on these past few years
01:09:43just because of some silly mistake.
01:09:46Angela, I've known and loved you for three whole years.
01:09:51Actually, I've also loved you for three years.
01:09:55That's right. I fell in love with you three years ago, too.
01:09:59How is all of this possible?
01:10:02I didn't meet any of you until recently.
01:10:05Well, actually, maybe Devin, but...
01:10:09I've had a crush on you since college.
01:10:12You were my motivation to go to business school.
01:10:16Despite who you were, you never judged me for being poor.
01:10:23Are you trying to get hired at Fortune 500 in a suit like that?
01:10:30All you do is babble on and on about Internet money, Bitcoin, and shit like that.
01:10:38Are you trying to steal my spot?
01:10:42I'll teach you a lesson.
01:10:45Hey! Get away from him!
01:10:47Angela!
01:10:50Feisty girl. I like her.
01:11:00How is he?
01:11:02It's a rare poison made from a mixture of dried roots found in Africa.
01:11:06Astragal, saltifu.
01:11:08Can it be cured?
01:11:09I actually think I know that poison.
01:11:11It sounds really scary, but its cure can actually be found in any developed country.
01:11:15Household salt.
01:11:24I like her.
01:11:26I like her.
01:11:29There you go.
01:11:31Time is up.
01:11:34Oh, shoot. I'm late for swim practice.
01:11:43I like her.
01:11:45We have been rivals ever since.
01:11:47So, that's how I... well, we all met.
01:11:53I barely remember.
01:11:55I never let you go to swim practice that day.
01:11:57Matthew Richards, the guy who poisoned me, attacked you out of revenge.
01:12:02You wouldn't have known.
01:12:04I did hear he dropped out and became a loan shark, though.
01:12:06That makes you feel any better.
01:12:08Yeah, I think that suits him a little better.
01:12:10Angela, your seven days is almost up.
01:12:13Now that you know they all loved and fought for you for three years, who will you pick?
01:12:20How can that be?
01:12:22Angela Lockhart is an heiress?
01:12:28Kaylee, we've gone bankrupt.
01:12:32Bankrupt?
01:12:34The Vanderbilt's have gone bankrupt?
01:12:37Well then, get out of here!
01:12:40You can't do this to me!
01:12:44Jared!
01:12:47Jared!
01:12:48Mom, it's me.
01:12:50What happened?
01:12:52Jared, I have carefully reconsidered.
01:12:55Angela is way better than this dimwit.
01:12:57You should get back with your wife.
01:12:59We're bankrupt.
01:13:00What?
01:13:04Jared Cooper.
01:13:07We're here to propose to your long-distance.
01:13:11No one is going to save you now.
01:13:14Mom!
01:13:19What kind of an asshole throws his own mother to the dogs?
01:13:25Who will you pick?
01:13:29I...
01:13:35I brought you fried chicken.
01:13:36Fried chicken?
01:13:37Hey, not all girls like sushi and caviar.
01:13:40Yeah, he's right. I did live in Atlanta for three months.
01:13:43Sucking up last minute.
01:13:45At least I don't speak like an AI robot.
01:13:48Hey, stop. Stop.
01:13:51Welcome back to the bachelorette.
01:13:54I mean, the three badasses who want me.
01:13:57I mean, Angela Lockhart.
01:14:00You know what I mean.
01:14:02Today, our heiress bachelorette will choose
01:14:05which one of our three badasses will she marry.
01:14:09Will it be Shane, the doctor?
01:14:12Cole, the general?
01:14:16Or Devin, the CEO?
01:14:22Looks like our bachelorette may need a little more time to decide.
01:14:26Oh, the suspense is killing me.
01:14:29But when she does, she will take this eternal rose
01:14:33made from glass imported from Venice
01:14:35and give it to our winner.
01:14:37Angela.
01:14:40Angela.
01:14:42Oh, I...
01:14:45I need more time to think.
01:14:51While our bachelorette takes a little time to decide,
01:14:55why don't we check in with each of our candidates?
01:14:57Let's check in with each of our candidates.
01:15:00Let's start with Cole.
01:15:02Cole.
01:15:05There's not much to say.
01:15:07Who wouldn't want a five-star general
01:15:09who has huge biceps,
01:15:12a massive chest,
01:15:14who would protect their wife?
01:15:18Okay, thank you.
01:15:21Shane?
01:15:23Muscles, money,
01:15:26they won't get you so far.
01:15:28But you need a well-balanced man like me
01:15:30that has more than one way to keep a lady happy.
01:15:33If you know what I mean.
01:15:37Okay, I think we do.
01:15:39And Devin.
01:15:42That was quite disgusting.
01:15:46I just hope Angela's okay.
01:15:48I know she's going under a lot of stress right now,
01:15:51a lot of choices to make.
01:15:53And she's my queen.
01:15:55I just really hope she's okay.
01:15:57And one more thing.
01:15:59What kind of a doctor
01:16:01What kind of a doctor
01:16:03brings fried chicken to a girl?
01:16:06That's a good point.
01:16:07It's bad for her heart.
01:16:10And then you!
01:16:11What?
01:16:12You know what they say about military men.
01:16:15They beat their wives.
01:16:21Enough!
01:16:23Stand up!
01:16:26Hey, you guys.
01:16:28Whoa, break it up!
01:16:30Hey!
01:16:31Break it up!
01:16:36Cut to commercial.
01:16:38Cut to commercial.
01:16:41Cut to commercial.
01:16:56This is the hardest decision I've ever had to make in my entire life.
01:17:02Who do I choose?
01:17:10Angela's marrying me.
01:17:12You're not stealing her from me.
01:17:13Oh yeah?
01:17:15I may be a doctor, but like I said,
01:17:17I know and possess the deadliest poisons in the world.
01:17:23What don't you have in that coat?
01:17:25Fruit flavored gum.
01:17:27I won't let you take Angela away from me.
01:17:29I'll fight you to the death.
01:17:31Don't forget about me.
01:17:33It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:17:37These stupid profile cards don't make any sense.
01:17:41They do not.
01:17:42They do not help.
01:17:43Who made these?
01:17:45It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:18:03It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:18:09I'm actually a part of the X-Men.
01:18:11And I have the power of...
01:18:14Telekinesis!
01:18:30We may have to work together to take him down.
01:18:34This battle within our heads is the most intense I've ever experienced.
01:18:38I may not be able to take them both down if they decide to team up.
01:18:42Hmm...
01:18:43Winter Mint or Cool Mint?
01:18:49You know,
01:18:51I've always really liked your hair.
01:18:53Really?
01:18:54Yeah.
01:18:55You know, I've always really liked your hair.
01:18:57Really?
01:18:58Yeah.
01:18:59You know, I've always really liked your hair.
01:19:01Really?
01:19:03I'm actually pretty self-conscious about it.
01:19:06So I appreciate that.
01:19:09Hey, hey, hey.
01:19:10And you know,
01:19:11I've always really liked the way you talk.
01:19:15Really?
01:19:16Yeah.
01:19:19What do you got for me?
01:19:21I've always really liked the way you chew gum.
01:19:24Yeah?
01:19:25Yeah.
01:19:26It's fresh, right?
01:19:28Yo, yo.
01:19:29Yeah, yeah.
01:19:30You know, you're actually a really good doctor.
01:19:33Hey, hey, hey.
01:19:34You need me to look at you?
01:19:35I got you.
01:19:36Hey, me?
01:19:37Yeah, of course.
01:19:38Angela's been kidnapped.
01:19:40Angela's been kidnapped.
01:19:42It was Sharon Cooper.
01:19:44That fucker!
01:19:46We have to find her.
01:19:47What the hell?
01:19:48Her ring.
01:19:49Her dad installed a GPS tracking mechanism on her ring just in case.
01:19:52Well, let's go then.
01:19:53But, oh!
01:19:54My fiance!
01:19:55My fiance!
01:19:57Fuck.
01:20:02Jared.
01:20:06What am I doing here?
01:20:08You destroyed me.
01:20:12I took everything.
01:20:15What?
01:20:16I have nothing left.
01:20:18It's not my fault you were too greedy.
01:20:21I was greedy to have sex with my wife?
01:20:24What?
01:20:25I'm not your wife anymore.
01:20:27Oh, yeah, I know.
01:20:28You wouldn't take me back now.
01:20:29Not unless I get you pregnant with my child.
01:20:31This is illegal.
01:20:32You wouldn't want your child to be away from its father.
01:20:35You won't have me arrested.
01:20:37You will take me back.
01:20:41Come on, bitch.
01:20:44I'll settle you down a little.
01:20:47Please.
01:20:48Please.
01:20:49Please.
01:20:54You will be begging me to fuck you soon.
01:20:59Hey!
01:21:01Antoine!
01:21:02Come back!
01:21:06You're too late!
01:21:07I drugged her.
01:21:08She'll be dead soon unless...
01:21:09And yet?
01:21:10Have you forgotten who I am?
01:21:13He really does have everything in his coat.
01:21:15Everything except for fruit.
01:21:16Yeah, except for fruit-flavored gum.
01:21:17We get it already.
01:21:18Just save my boss!
01:21:21Here you go.
01:21:27You're all good now.
01:21:29Oh, thank God.
01:21:31But what do we do with that piece of shit?
01:21:33What?
01:21:34What are you going to do to me?
01:21:36Hey, stop!
01:21:37No!
01:21:39Enjoy your erectile dysfunction forever.
01:21:45No!
01:21:47Glad we didn't actually have that fight.
01:21:49Turns out he's the most dangerous of them all.
01:21:57So who did you pick, sweetheart?
01:21:59Have you invited the most important figures of the world to your wedding?
01:22:02The Prince of Bhutan?
01:22:04And remember, we will kill ourselves if you don't choose.
01:22:09Welcome back to the finale of...
01:22:11The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:22:13We're down to the wire.
01:22:15Literally.
01:22:16The wedding day.
01:22:17But who's the groom?
01:22:31Welcome back to the finale of...
01:22:33The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:22:35Welcome back to the finale of...
01:22:37The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:22:39But who's the groom?
01:22:44Seems our heiress still hasn't decided.
01:22:48Any input from the parents?
01:22:50Maybe that will help sway our bachelorette's choice.
01:22:54This is exciting.
01:22:55Who should my daughter pick?
01:22:58Let me think.
01:23:02I like the doctor.
01:23:04He's cute.
01:23:06But the general looks like a strong fellow.
01:23:10And we can't forget about Devon Sterling, the one who's loved her the longest.
01:23:14Isn't that right, Devon?
01:23:16Angela.
01:23:23You are all three very fine gentlemen.
01:23:28And I'm really grateful for all of your love.
01:23:32But this was a really hard decision.
01:23:35And I decided to devise one last challenge.
01:23:41And I decided to devise one last challenge.
01:23:49I'm just kidding. I'm just as sick of this as you guys are.
01:23:56Each of our candidates have saved our main character.
01:24:00I mean, bachelorette, once.
01:24:02They've all proven their undying love.
01:24:05So who gets to unlock Angela Lockhart's heart?
01:24:09Literally.
01:24:11Could it be the sexy and protective, general with a temper, Mr. Cole Eisenhower?
01:24:18Or the fun, wicked-minded, but kind of weird, Dr. Shane Wilson?
01:24:32And last but not least, could it be the richest man of them all?
01:24:37The man Angela would have married a long time ago, Mr. Devon Sterling.
01:24:41Gentlemen, it's been a pleasure getting to know you.
01:24:47May the best man win.
01:24:49May the best man win.
01:24:52Drum roll, please.
01:24:55Drum roll, please.
01:25:10Seriously, Ricky?
01:25:18I choose...
01:25:25I choose...
01:25:29I need a powerful, strong man, and I really feel like he could protect me.
01:25:35Who could resist those guns?
01:25:39Could I interest you in an NFD, Ellen?
01:25:41Yeah, would you like a full-body checkup?
01:25:55Shane, it's you. I'm lovesick for you.
01:25:59You like that minty flavor, don't you?
01:26:01Yeah.
01:26:04It's that tongue action, ladies and gents.
01:26:07Ellen, be my new queen. I hope we can drill together.
01:26:10Like guns, baby.
01:26:13It's always been you.
01:26:22I'll always love you.
01:26:26Let's give it up for those nine inches, everybody.
01:26:29Come on, Ellen.
01:26:31Come on, Ellen.
01:26:33Come on, Ellen.
01:26:35Come on, Ellen.
01:26:37Come on, Ellen.
01:26:39Come on, Ellen.
01:26:41Come on, Ellen. Would you like a full-body checkup?
01:26:43Have you seen my murder weapons?
01:26:45I need fruit-flavored gum for you.