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Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00:00Onward, Georgy, to the highest room of the tallest tower, where my princess awaits rescue
00:00:21from the handsome Prince Charming.
00:00:30Ooh, this is worse than love letters. I hate dinner theater. Me too.
00:00:46Whoa there, Chauncey.
00:00:50Hark! The brave Prince Charming approaches.
00:00:55Fear not, fair maiden. I shall slay the monster that guards you and then take my place as rightful king.
00:01:04What did she say?
00:01:07Mmmmm!
00:01:11He's- he's slick!
00:01:13Yeah!
00:01:17Prepare, foul beast, to enter into a world of pain with which you are not familiar.
00:01:25Happy birthday to thee! Happy birthday to thee!
00:01:28Do you mind?
00:01:30Do you mind? Boring!
00:01:34Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! You're flippin' out!
00:01:40Prepare, foul beast!
00:01:54Someday you'll be sorry.
00:01:57We already are!
00:02:05No!
00:02:26No!
00:02:30No!
00:02:36You're right. I can't let this happen. I can't!
00:02:44I am the rightful king of far, far away. And I promise you this, mother, I will restore dignity to my throne.
00:03:00And this time, no one will stand in my way.
00:03:27Good morning.
00:03:30Good morning. Oh, morning breath.
00:03:35I know. Isn't it wonderful?
00:03:39Good morning, good morning. Hey, the sun is shining through.
00:03:45Good morning, good morning to you and you and you!
00:03:56They grow up so fast.
00:03:58Not fast enough.
00:04:02Okay. You have a very full day filling in for the king and queen. There are several functions that require your attendance, sir.
00:04:10Great. Let's get started.
00:04:14Come on, lazybones. It's time to get moving.
00:04:19You really need to get yourself a pair of jammies.
00:04:30I got some sleep and I needed it.
00:04:34Not a lot, just a little bit.
00:04:38Someone's always trying to keep me from it.
00:04:41It's a crying shame.
00:04:45It's a royal pain in the neck.
00:04:49I like this.
00:04:50I'm just trying to get on with my life.
00:04:53A little bit of time.
00:04:57Oh, God!
00:05:11It's a royal pain in the neck.
00:05:15I'm just trying to get by.
00:05:17Since you're filling in for one, you might as well look like a real king.
00:05:21Come in here and work on Shrek, please.
00:05:27I will see what I can do.
00:05:39Whoa!
00:05:53Yeah, wow.
00:05:56Is this really necessary?
00:06:00Quite necessary, Fiona.
00:06:03I'm Shrek, you twit.
00:06:05Whatever.
00:06:06Okay, peoples, this is not rehearsal.
00:06:09This is some hustle.
00:06:11Smile, everyone, smile.
00:06:13I don't know how much longer I can keep this up, Fiona.
00:06:17I'm sorry, Shrek, but can you please just try to grin and bear it?
00:06:21It's just until Dad gets better.
00:06:26Shrek?
00:06:27Yeah?
00:06:29You look handsome.
00:06:32Come here, you.
00:06:50Oh, my butt is itching up a storm and I can't reach it in this monkey suit.
00:06:56Oh, hey, you.
00:06:58Come here.
00:06:59What's your name?
00:07:01Riddlesworth, sir.
00:07:04Perfect.
00:07:08Ladies and gentlemen, Princess Fiona and Sir Shrek.
00:07:22A little over to the left, yeah.
00:07:25Oh, that's good.
00:07:28Oh, yeah.
00:07:31You got it, you love it.
00:07:32Shrek!
00:07:41What are you doing?
00:07:51Fiona!
00:07:55Are you okay?
00:07:56Yeah, I'm fine.
00:08:04Shrek, my face!
00:08:19That's it, we're leaving.
00:08:21Please calm down.
00:08:22Calm down?
00:08:23Who do you think we're kidding?
00:08:25I am an ogre.
00:08:28I'm not cut out for this, Fiona, and I never will be.
00:08:37I think that went pretty well.
00:08:38Donkey!
00:08:40Oh, come on now, Shrek.
00:08:43Some people just don't understand boundaries.
00:08:58Just think, a couple more days and we'll be back home in our vermin-filled shack, strewn with fungus, filled with the rotting stench of mud and neglect.
00:09:11Oh, you had me at vermin-filled.
00:09:15And maybe even the pitter-patter of little feet on the floor.
00:09:21That's right, the swamp rats will be spawning.
00:09:25No, what I was thinking of is a little bit bigger than a swamp rat.
00:09:31Donkey?
00:09:32No, Shrek.
00:09:35Um, what if, theoretically...
00:09:38Yeah?
00:09:39They were little ogre feet?
00:09:42Oh!
00:09:49Honey, let's try and be rational about this.
00:09:53Have you seen a baby lately?
00:09:56They just eat and poop and they cry and then they cry when they poop and they poop when they cry.
00:10:04Now, imagine an ogre baby.
00:10:08They extra cry and they extra poop.
00:10:12Shrek, don't you ever think about having a family?
00:10:18Right now, you're my family.
00:10:26Well, somebody better be dying.
00:10:31I'm dying.
00:10:36Harold?
00:10:41Don't forget to pay the guard, Lilian.
00:10:45Oh, darling.
00:10:49Fiona.
00:10:51Yes, Daddy?
00:10:52I know I've made many mistakes with you.
00:10:57It's okay.
00:10:59But your love for Shrek has taught me so much.
00:11:06My dear boy, I am proud to call you my son.
00:11:13And I am proud to call you my frog king dad-in-law.
00:11:19Now, there is a matter of business to attend to.
00:11:39The frog king is dead.
00:11:52Put your hat back on, fool.
00:11:54Shrek, please come hither.
00:12:03Yeah, Dad?
00:12:05This kingdom needs a new king.
00:12:10You and Fiona are next in line for the throne.
00:12:16Oh, next in line.
00:12:20Now, you see, Dad, that's why people love you.
00:12:23Even on your deathbed, you're still making jokes.
00:12:31Oh, come on, Dad.
00:12:33An ogre as king?
00:12:36I don't think that's such a good idea.
00:12:39I mean, there's got to be somebody else.
00:12:42Anybody.
00:12:44Aside from you, there is only one remaining heir.
00:12:50Really?
00:12:52Who is he, Dad?
00:12:54His name is...
00:12:58Is...
00:12:59What's his name?
00:13:00What's his name?
00:13:02His...
00:13:05Daddy.
00:13:27His name is Arthur.
00:13:30Arthur.
00:13:37I know you'll do what's right.
00:13:48Harold.
00:13:49Dad?
00:13:50Dad!
00:13:53Dad?
00:13:55What do you think, Dad?
00:14:24Dad?
00:14:32When you were young and your heart was an open book
00:14:42It used to say, live and let live
00:14:47You know you did, you know you did, you know you did
00:14:52But if this ever-changing world in which we're living
00:14:59Makes you give in and cry
00:15:07Say live and let die
00:15:13Live and let die
00:15:18Live and let die
00:15:23Live and let die
00:15:28Live and let die
00:15:48Hey, lady
00:16:03You lady
00:16:05Cursing at your life
00:16:08You're a discontented mother
00:16:13I'm a wretched woman
00:16:18I'm a wretched woman
00:16:23But you'll never know
00:16:27I ran out of places
00:16:30Ran out of places
00:16:32Cause I had this need to be free
00:16:37I've been to paradise
00:16:42But I never knew
00:16:47What does a prince have to do to get a drink around here?
00:16:52Ah, Mabel.
00:16:55Why they call you an ugly stepsister, I'll never know.
00:17:01Where's Doris?
00:17:03Taking the night off?
00:17:05She's not welcome here.
00:17:07And neither are you.
00:17:12What do you want, charming?
00:17:14Oh, not much.
00:17:16Just a chance at redemption.
00:17:21And a fuzzy navel.
00:17:24And fuzzy navels for all my friends.
00:17:32We're not your friends.
00:17:36You don't belong here.
00:17:39You're right, of course. I mean, you're absolutely right.
00:17:42But, I mean, do any of us?
00:17:44Do a number on his face.
00:17:46No, no, wait, wait, wait.
00:17:48We are more alike than you think.
00:17:52Wicked witch.
00:17:53The seven dwarfs saved Snow White, and then what happened?
00:17:57Oh, what's it to you?
00:17:58They left you the unfairest of them all.
00:18:01And now here you are, hustling pool to get your next meal.
00:18:07How does that feel?
00:18:16Pretty unfair.
00:18:18And you.
00:18:20Your star puppet abandons the show to go and find his father.
00:18:27I hate that little wooden puppet.
00:18:30And hook.
00:18:32Need I say more?
00:18:38And you, frumpy pigskin.
00:18:40Rumpelstiltskin.
00:18:42Where's that firstborn you were promised, eh?
00:18:48Mabel.
00:18:49Remember how you couldn't get your little fat foot into that tiny glass slipper?
00:18:57Cinderella is in far, far away right now.
00:19:02Eating bonbons, cavorting with every little last fairy tale creature that has ever done you wrong.
00:19:12Once upon a time, someone decided that we were the losers.
00:19:18There are two sides to every story.
00:19:21And our side has not been told.
00:19:24So, who will join me?
00:19:27Who wants to come out on top for once?
00:19:31Who wants their happily ever after?
00:19:36Yeah!
00:19:38Yeah!
00:19:39Yeah!
00:19:57This way, gents.
00:20:12It's out of my hands, senorita.
00:20:15The winds of fate have blown on my destiny.
00:20:18But I will never forget you.
00:20:20You are the love of my life.
00:20:23Ah, sir, how are you?
00:20:26And, uh, hello.
00:20:28And, oh, uh, hi.
00:20:30Um, I don't know you, but I like to.
00:20:34I gotta go.
00:20:38I know, I know. I don't want to leave you either, baby.
00:20:40But you know how Shrek is.
00:20:42The dude's lost without me.
00:20:44But don't worry.
00:20:45I'll send you airmail kisses every day.
00:20:50All right. Be strong, babies. Be strong.
00:20:53Now, Coco, Peanut, you listen to your mama, all right?
00:20:56And Bananas, no more roasting marshmallows on your sister's head.
00:21:01Oh, that's my special boy.
00:21:04Oh, come over here.
00:21:05All of you, give your daddy a big hug.
00:21:15Shrek.
00:21:18Maybe you should just stay and be king.
00:21:23Oh, come on.
00:21:24There's no way I could ever run a kingdom.
00:21:28That's why your cousin Arthur's a perfect choice.
00:21:31It's not that. No.
00:21:33It's, see...
00:21:35And if he gives me any trouble, I've always got persuasion and reason.
00:21:40Here's persuasion, and here's reason.
00:21:47Fiona, soon it's just going to be you, me, and our swamp.
00:21:57It's not going to be just you and me.
00:22:01All aboard!
00:22:05It will be.
00:22:07I promise.
00:22:10I love you.
00:22:20That's lovely.
00:22:21Bye-bye, babies.
00:22:33Shrek.
00:22:34Yeah?
00:22:35Wait.
00:22:36What is it?
00:22:38I'm... I'm...
00:22:45I love you, too, honey.
00:22:48No!
00:22:49No, I said I'm...
00:22:54You're what?
00:22:56I said I'm pregnant!
00:23:04What was that?
00:23:06You're going to be a father!
00:23:12That's great!
00:23:14Really?
00:23:15I'm glad you think so.
00:23:18I love you!
00:23:20Yeah!
00:23:22Me, too!
00:23:24You!
00:23:30I'm going to be an uncle!
00:23:31I'm going to be an uncle!
00:23:32I'm going to be an uncle!
00:23:34And you, my friend, are royally...
00:24:04Home.
00:24:24Home.
00:24:31Oy!
00:24:40Shrek!
00:24:41Ooh!
00:24:44Fiona!
00:24:51Fiona?
00:25:15Oh, no.
00:25:20Better out than in, I always say.
00:25:25Whoa!
00:25:30Whoa!
00:25:31Whoa!
00:25:35Oh, no, no, no!
00:25:37No, no, no!
00:25:38No!
00:25:39No, it's okay.
00:25:40It'll be all right.
00:25:43Huh?
00:25:44What?
00:25:47Hey!
00:25:49Stop!
00:25:50Hey, hey, wait!
00:25:54Whoa!
00:25:55Hey, hey!
00:25:56No, no!
00:25:57No!
00:25:58No!
00:25:59Oh, no, no, no, no!
00:26:00Oh, no!
00:26:01Oh!
00:26:02Hey!
00:26:03Hey!
00:26:04Ah!
00:26:06Oh, no!
00:26:07Hey, hey, wait!
00:26:09Hey!
00:26:10Hey!
00:26:11Hey!
00:26:12Hey!
00:26:13Ah!
00:26:14Ah!
00:26:15Ah!
00:26:16Ah!
00:26:17Ah!
00:26:18Ah!
00:26:19Ah!
00:26:20Ah!
00:26:21Ah!
00:26:22Ah!
00:26:23Ah!
00:26:24Ah!
00:26:25Ah!
00:26:26Ah!
00:26:27Ah!
00:26:28Ah!
00:26:29Ah!
00:26:30Ah!
00:26:31Ah!
00:26:32Ah!
00:26:33Oh!
00:26:34Ah!
00:26:35Ah!
00:26:36Oh!
00:26:37Ah!
00:26:38Oh!
00:26:39Ah!
00:26:40Ah!
00:26:41Ah!
00:26:42Oh!
00:26:43Ah!
00:26:44Ah!
00:26:45Ah!
00:26:46Ah!
00:26:47Ah!
00:26:48Oh!
00:26:49Donkey!
00:26:50Donkey!
00:26:51Wake up!
00:26:52Ah!
00:26:53Ah!
00:26:54Da, da!
00:26:55Ah!
00:26:56Ah!
00:26:57Trick!
00:26:58Trick, are you okay?
00:26:59Ah!
00:27:00Ah!
00:27:01Oh!
00:27:02Okay, oh
00:27:04I
00:27:05Can't believe I'm gonna be a father
00:27:09How did this happen?
00:27:11Allow me to explain you see when a man has a certain feelings for a woman
00:27:17Powerful urge so it's over here. I know how it happened. I
00:27:24Just can't
00:27:26How does it happen
00:27:43Cats in the cradle in the silver spoon
00:27:47Little boy blue and a man in the moon when you're coming home, so I don't know when but we'll get together then
00:27:55Dad okay, can you just cut to the part? We're just supposed to make me feel better
00:28:02You know I love Fiona boss, right
00:28:06What I'm talking about here is you me my cousin's boat an ice-cold pitcher of mojitos and two weeks of nothing
00:28:14but
00:28:15fishing
00:28:17Man, don't you listen to him?
00:28:20Look having a baby is not gonna ruin your life. It's not my life. I'm worried about ruining
00:28:27It's the kids. I
00:28:29mean when have you ever heard the phrase as sweet as an ogre or as
00:28:35Nurturing as an ogre or how about you're gonna love my dad. He's a real ogre
00:28:43Okay, okay, I get it
00:28:45Nobody said it was gonna be easy
00:28:47But at least you got us to help you out, that's true
00:28:51I'm doomed
00:28:53You'll be fine
00:28:56You're finished
00:29:02With your journey
00:29:04Yeah
00:29:14We're
00:29:16Sester's shire. Now that sounds fancy. It's worse to share like the sauce
00:29:23Mmm, it's spicy. Oh
00:29:30They must be expecting us
00:29:34Oh
00:29:39What in the sister shack kind of place is this well my stomach aches and my palms just got sweaty
00:29:47Must be a high school high school
00:30:04Oh
00:30:19Hello
00:30:21my frankincense and
00:30:23Already start to feel nauseous from memories of wedgies and swirling
00:30:27By how did you receive the wedgies when you are clearly not aware of the underpants
00:30:33Let's just say some things are better left unsaid and leave it at that
00:30:36So then I was all like I'd rather get the black plague and lock myself in an iron maiden and go out with you
00:30:43Totally. Pardon me. Yeah
00:30:45Totally. Oh, yes. Yeah, totally
00:30:49Yes, I just altered my character level plus three superb ability. Hi
00:30:54We're looking for someone named he who rolled a plus nine dork spell and summoned the beast in his quadrupeds I
00:31:03Know you're busy not fitting in but can either of you tell me where I can find Arthur. He's over there
00:31:23Oh
00:31:35There is no sweeter taste on my tongue than victory
00:31:43Strong handsome face of a leader does Arthur look like a king or what? Oh
00:31:50Oh
00:31:52Sorry, oh
00:31:54Did you just say you were looking for Arthur that information is on a need to know basis?
00:32:00It's top secret. Hush it a hush now gentlemen. Let's away to the showers
00:32:11Greetings your majesty. This is your lucky day
00:32:14So what for like are you supposed to be some kind of giant mutant leprechaun or something?
00:32:25You made a funny
00:32:28Unhand me monster stop squirming Arthur. I'm not Arthur
00:32:38I am
00:32:40Lancelot
00:32:41That dork over there is Arthur
00:32:46Hey
00:32:52This is like totally embarrassing
00:32:54But my friend Tiffany thinkest thou vex her so soothly and she thought for chance that would want to ask her to the homecoming
00:33:01Dance or something. Excuse me. It's like whatever. She's just totally into college guys and mythical creatures and stuff
00:33:11Oh Arthur come out come out
00:33:41You
00:34:11You
00:34:41You
00:35:11You
00:35:41You
00:36:11You
00:36:41You
00:37:11You
00:37:41You
00:38:11You
00:38:41You
00:39:11You
00:39:41You
00:40:11You
00:40:41You
00:41:11You
00:41:42You gotta take care of the baby
00:41:44Everybody stay calm
00:41:46We're all gonna die
00:41:48Ah
00:41:54Everyone in now
00:41:56Come on put some back into it people
00:42:02We don't have time now go
00:42:04Quickly ladies
00:42:06Oh
00:42:30Where are Shrek and Fiona
00:42:34I
00:42:38Suggest you freaks cooperate with the new king of far far away
00:42:49Stupids hook right
00:43:03Oh
00:43:34You
00:43:36You can't lie so tell me puppet where is Shrek
00:43:51You're telling me you don't know where Shrek is
00:43:53It wouldn't be inaccurate to assume that I couldn't exactly not say that there's or isn't almost partially incorrect
00:44:02So you do know where he is
00:44:05Contrary, I'm possibly more or less not definitely rejected the idea
00:44:11With any amount of uncertainty that I
00:44:14Stop it. Do or do not know where he shouldn't probably be
00:44:19If that indeed wasn't where he is
00:44:21Oh
00:44:38He's bringing back the next
00:44:43Hook
00:44:45Get rid of this new king right the bring Shrek to me
00:44:49I have something special in mind for him
00:44:59Boy
00:45:12I can't believe it me a king. I
00:45:16Mean I knew I came from royalty and all but I just figured everyone forgot about me. Oh
00:45:23No, in fact the king asked for you personally
00:45:27Really?
00:45:31Look I know it's not all gonna be fun and games. It really is all fun and games actually
00:45:38Sure, you have to night a few heroes launch a ship or two
00:45:42By the way, make sure you hit the boat just right with the bottle boat with a bottle any idiot can hit a boat
00:45:50with a bottle
00:45:52Well, I've heard it's harder than it looks. Whoa. This is gonna be huge
00:45:58parties
00:46:00princesses castles
00:46:04Princesses
00:46:06You'd be living in a lap of luxury
00:46:08They got the finest chefs around waiting for you to place your order and fortunately you'll have the royal food tasters
00:46:14Oh, yeah, what do they do? They taste the food before the king eats to make sure it's not
00:46:22poisoned
00:46:23Poisoned or too salty. Don't worry about it
00:46:26You'll be safe and sound with the help of your bodyguards bodyguards
00:46:30All of them willing at a moment's notice to lay down their own lives out of devotion to you
00:46:37Really and the whole kingdom will look to you for wisdom and guidance
00:46:43Just make sure they don't die famine or play. Oh play is bad coughing the groaning the festering sores
00:46:53Festering sores. Hey, you are one funny kitty cat
00:46:58What did I say? We don't want Artie here getting the wrong idea
00:47:02Ah
00:47:05Artie
00:47:26I don't know anything about being king
00:47:33I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I'm going back to what being a loser
00:47:45Now look what you did
00:48:02Oh
00:48:27How humiliating Oh
00:48:30Oh
00:48:31Nice going your highness. Oh, so now it's your highness. What happened a loser, huh?
00:48:38Hey, if you think this is getting you out of anything, well, it isn't
00:48:42We're heading back to far far away one way or another and you're gonna be a father
00:48:51What?
00:48:53Just said father you're I said King you're gonna be King you're gonna be King
00:49:00Yeah, right
00:49:03Where do you think you're going far far away from you you get back here young man, and I mean it
00:49:13Boss I don't think he's coming back
00:49:16Maybe it's for the best
00:49:18He's not exactly King material when were you planning on telling him that you were really supposed to be King
00:49:24Oh, come on. Now. Why would I do that?
00:49:28Besides he'll be ten times better at it than me. Hey, whoa
00:49:32Oh Shrek, then you're gonna have to change your tactics if you want to get anywhere with this kid
00:49:39You're right donkey
00:49:44What about this
00:49:46Shrek oh, come on. It's just a joke
00:49:52Still
00:49:54You
00:50:14Listen auntie
00:50:16If you think this whole mad scene ain't dope I feel you dude
00:50:23I mean, I'm not trying to get up in your grill or raise your roof or whatever
00:50:28What I am screaming is yo check out this kissing
00:50:33Fizzy baby. I mean if it doesn't groove or what?
00:50:37I'm saying ain't straight trip and just say oh, no you did you you know
00:50:42You're getting on my last nerve and then I'll know it's then I'll know it's
00:50:53A monster trying to relate to me Arnie Arnie. Wait, wait, wait
00:51:01Greetings cosmic children of the universe
00:51:06Welcome to my serenity circle, please. Leave any bad vibes
00:51:11outside the healing vortex
00:51:23Should have got that warranty
00:51:31You know this guy yeah
00:51:34He was the school's magic teacher
00:51:36Until he had his nervous breakdown
00:51:39Technically, I was merely a victim of a level 3 fatigue and at the request of my therapist and the school authorities
00:51:47I've retired to the tranquility of nature
00:51:49to discover my divine purpose
00:51:54Now can I interest anyone in a snack or beverage, ah
00:51:59No, sure. You don't want to try my famous
00:52:02Rocco gratin
00:52:07It's organic Oh
00:52:09Thanks. I just ate a boulder on the way in what we need our directions back to far far away
00:52:15What's with the week who said I was going with you?
00:52:18Oh, I did because there's a lot of people counting on you
00:52:22So don't try and we use a lot of it if it's such a great job. Why don't you do it?
00:52:28Understand this kid. It's no more. Mr. Nice guy from here on out. Oh, so that was your mr. Nice guy
00:52:35I know
00:52:36And I'm gonna miss him. You know what? Why don't you go?
00:52:40Terrorize a village and leave me alone. Oh, is that some kind of crack about ogres?
00:52:46You get your royal highness to far far away before I kick it there now, which way am I kicking?
00:52:53Oh, I could tell you but since you're in the midst of a self-destructive rage spiral
00:52:59It would be comically irresponsible
00:53:03Self-destructive look, are you gonna help us or not?
00:53:07Most definitely but only after you take the journey to your soul
00:53:14Yeah, I don't think so look pal it's either that or some primal scream therapy
00:53:23All right, all right journey to the soul
00:53:27now
00:53:29Look into the fire of truth and tell me what you see
00:53:35I
00:53:43See a Dutch fudge tart with cinnamon swirls. Okay monster go for it
00:53:50I
00:54:02See a rainbow pony excellent work now the boy this is lame. Oh, you're lame
00:54:13Okay
00:54:15There's a baby bird and father bird sitting in a nest
00:54:21Yes. Yes stay with it. Stay with it
00:54:24Wait, the dad just flew away
00:54:27Why did he leave the little bird all alone?
00:54:30Is it's trying to fly but it but it doesn't know how to
00:54:35It's gonna fall
00:54:42For proper egg case you are not you really messed up. Whoa
00:54:51Yeah, yeah, okay I get it the birds me my dad left so what
00:55:12Look auntie
00:55:21Just thought I might help set the mood for your big heart
00:55:31I
00:55:38Know what it's like to not feel ready for something
00:55:45Even ogres get scared
00:55:48You know
00:55:51Once in a while I
00:55:54Know you want me to be king
00:55:57But I can't I'm not cut out for it and I never will be all right
00:56:03Even my own dad knew I wasn't worth the trouble. He dumped me at that school the first chance he got and I
00:56:12Never heard from him again
00:56:14Oh
00:56:16My dad wasn't really the fatherly type either
00:56:21Well, I doubt he was worse than mine. Oh
00:56:25Yeah, my father was an ogre he tried to eat me
00:56:32Now, I guess I should have seen it coming
00:56:35Used to give me a bath and barbecue sauce and put me to bed with an apple in my mouth
00:56:44You
00:57:14You
00:57:44You
00:58:14You
00:58:44You
00:59:14You
00:59:44You
01:00:14You
01:00:44You
01:01:14You
01:01:44You
01:02:14You
01:02:44Oh
01:02:57What has charming done with Fiona he's gonna get what's coming to her
01:03:04And there ain't nothing you can do to stop him
01:03:08We've got safe, but she's so far far away
01:03:15Get yourself back to Worcestershire kid. No Shrek. Hold on a second. I've got an idea. I'm a buzzing bee
01:03:26Mr. Merlin, they need a spell to get them. I
01:03:30Mean us back to far far away
01:03:33Forget it. I don't have that kind of magic in me anymore kid. How about a hug instead? Hmm?
01:03:40That's the best kind of magic. Mr. Merlin, please. I know you can do it. I said forget it
01:03:47but
01:03:49You
01:04:01It's just so hard, you know
01:04:06They really need to get back cuz their kingdom's in trouble
01:04:11Cuz there's a really bad man
01:04:14It is just so hard
01:04:19I don't think you understand. There's a mean person doing things to good
01:04:49You
01:05:19You
01:05:49You
01:06:19You
01:06:49You
01:07:19You
01:07:49You
01:08:19You
01:08:49You
01:09:19You
01:09:49You
01:10:19You
01:10:49You
01:11:19You
01:11:49You
01:12:19You
01:12:50You
01:12:55You know for a minute there I
01:12:59Actually thought you what that he cared about you. He's an ogre. What did you expect?
01:13:06You
01:13:20Really do have a way with children Shrek
01:13:37Oh
01:13:41The ways this is not what I do
01:13:47the wrong
01:13:49time
01:13:51She's pulling me through
01:13:54It's a small
01:13:57crime
01:13:59And I got no excuse
01:14:02And is that all right?
01:14:06All right
01:14:36And
01:14:42Had we just stayed put like I suggested we could be sipping tea out of little heart-shaped cups
01:14:50And eating crumpets smothered with Logan berries, yeah
01:14:54Logan berries shut up Cindy. Yeah
01:14:57No, you shut up. Just stay out of this. Who cares who's running the kingdom anyway, I
01:15:05Care and you should all care, too
01:15:18Donkey
01:15:20Puss lo siento princesa, but I am puss stuck here inside this hideous body and I'm me
01:15:27But you're I know I know everything's a little fruity in the loops right now
01:15:31But what happened is we went to high school and the boat crashed and we got bippity-boppity-boop by the magic man
01:15:37Huh, you poor sweet thing
01:15:42The cat turned into a little horse it smells like feet what's to get huh?
01:15:48Where's Shrek?
01:15:50Charming's got him princess and he plans on killing Shrek tonight in front of the whole kingdom
01:15:57All right, everyone
01:15:59We need to find a way out now, you're right ladies assume the position
01:16:11What are you doing
01:16:14Waiting to be rescued
01:16:16You've got to be kidding me. Well, what do you expect us to do? We're just four. I
01:16:22mean three
01:16:24Super hot princesses to circus freaks a pregnant ogre and an old lady
01:16:31hmm
01:16:33Excuse me old lady coming through
01:16:36Oh
01:16:47Mom
01:16:48Well, you didn't actually think you got your fighting skills from your father. Did you excuse me? I
01:16:56Think there's still one more
01:17:06I
01:17:10Don't you just lie down
01:17:16Okay girls from here on out we're gonna take care of business ourselves
01:17:37Oh
01:17:45Way theater at the charming pavilion is proud to present
01:17:55All right, no food or beverages
01:18:06Oh
01:18:23Easy
01:18:25Sorry. Yeah, I guess I was just showing off for the little one
01:18:29Huh?
01:18:30Let's bring your kids to work day. Come here beautiful
01:18:37Well, she's
01:18:40Got your eye
01:18:43Who would have thought a monster like me deserve something as special as you
01:19:06Ah
01:19:36Ah
01:19:38Little birdies take a wing
01:19:43Flitting down from the trees they appear and to chirp in my
01:20:06Ah
01:20:36Oh
01:21:06Yeah
01:21:37Oh
01:21:53All to the gate the coast is clear, all right people let's do this thing go team dynamite
01:21:58I thought we agree we go by the name of team super cool
01:22:02I recall it was team awesome. I voted for team alpha wolf squadron. All right. All right. All right
01:22:10I'm henceforth. We ought to be known as team alpha super awesome. Cool dynamite wolf squadron
01:22:17There's some strange little girl over there staring at us
01:22:22Party
01:22:24Wait, wait, hey, hey, where is the fire senior? Oh, please don't act so innocent
01:22:31You both knew what was going on the whole time and you kept it to yourself
01:22:36Party, it's not like it seems it's not I think it seems pretty clear
01:22:41He was using me. That's all there is to it
01:22:45Using you man. You really don't get it Shrek only said those things to protect you
01:22:52Charming was gonna kill you Artie
01:22:55Shrek saved your life
01:23:10Kill the spot
01:23:20I'm trapped another day
01:23:25Please set me free my new life. I almost see
01:23:32You and me
01:23:34Yes
01:23:50His eye upon my regal steed princess my love at last you shall be free
01:23:57I'm strong and brave and dashing my way
01:24:02Speed with might with soft and bouncy
01:24:29I knew you'd come for me
01:24:31And now we finally meet
01:24:35I knew you'd wait and from my plate of love you
01:25:01Oh
01:25:07Who is this terribly ugly fiend who so rudely intervene with a tiny fire willy-nilly
01:25:14Oh
01:25:25Boy you're about to enter a world of pain with which you are not
01:25:33Familiar
01:25:41Well, it can't be any more painful than the lousy performance you're giving
01:25:46Oh
01:25:55Prepare our beast your time is done. You don't mind. Could you kill me and then sing?
01:26:07Come on I'm just having fun with you. That's actually a very nice leotard. Oh
01:26:13Thank you, do they come in men's sizes
01:26:27Now
01:26:29You'll finally know what it's like to have
01:26:33everything you worked for
01:26:36Everything it's precious to you
01:26:40Take it away. Now. You'll know how I felt
01:27:05Oh
01:27:16Pray for mercy from
01:27:36Hi, honey, sorry, we're late you okay much better now that you're here
01:27:47So
01:27:49Charming you want to let me out of these so we can settle this ogre to man. Oh
01:27:54That sounds fun
01:27:56But I have a better idea
01:28:05Oh
01:28:20You're not ruining things this time ogre kill it
01:28:30Everybody
01:28:35What is it now party
01:28:50Who really thinks we need to settle things this way
01:28:58You're telling me you just want to be villains your whole lives
01:29:02But we are villains it's the only thing we know didn't you ever wish you could be something else
01:29:11Well, it's easy for you to say you're not some evil in China true
01:29:19Steve's trying to say here is it's hard to come by honest work when the whole world's against you, right?
01:29:25Hey Ted, okay
01:29:28Fair enough. You're right. I'm not a talking tree
01:29:32but you know a
01:29:34Good friend of mine once told me
01:29:37That just because people treat you like a villain or an ogre or just some loser
01:29:48It doesn't mean you are one
01:29:54The thing that matters most is what you think of yourself
01:29:58If there's something you really want or someone you really want to be
01:30:04Then the only person standing in your way
01:30:07Is you me get him lads?
01:30:12What I mean is each of you is standing in your own way
01:30:19I
01:30:24Have always wanted to play the flute I'd like to open up a spa in France
01:30:31boy grow daffodils and
01:30:35They're beautiful
01:30:49Oh
01:31:19a
01:31:35New era finally begins
01:31:41Now all of you bow before your king
01:31:49You
01:31:54Need to work on your aim
01:32:00This was supposed to be my happily ever after well, I guess you need to keep looking
01:32:08Cuz I'm not giving up
01:32:20I
01:32:32It's yours if you want it, you know, but this time it's your choice
01:32:49I
01:32:51I
01:33:17Excuse me, that's my seat
01:33:21Case in your hocus-pocus
01:33:23The time has come to rectify some wrongs. Although I have been enjoying these cat beds
01:33:30Please say you didn't all right. All right
01:33:33Look, you're gonna feel a little pinch and possibly some lower intestinal discomfort, but this should do the trick
01:33:46Are you
01:33:49I am NOT you. All right
01:34:04What I tell you I think the kids gonna be a great king over what it's worth
01:34:12You would have to
01:34:15I have something much more important in mind
01:34:18I
01:34:48Find me
01:35:18Oh
01:35:48Hey
01:36:18Oh
01:36:42Well, what should we do now?
01:36:48I
01:37:05Got it
01:37:18Oh
01:37:48Love letters
01:38:04Fear not fair maiden. I shall slay the monster that guards you and then take my place as rightful king
01:38:19Oh
01:38:28Beast to enter into a world of pain with which you are not familiar
01:38:49Prepare
01:39:03Someday
01:39:18Oh
01:39:48I
01:39:53Am the rightful king far far away I promise you this mother I will restore
01:40:18I
01:40:20I
01:40:46Isn't it wonderful
01:40:50Morning
01:41:12A very full day filling in for the king and queen. There are several functions that require your attendance, sir
01:41:19Great. Let's get started
01:41:23Come on, maybe both time to get moving
01:41:27You know, you really need to get yourself a pair of jammies
01:41:49Oh
01:42:19I
01:42:49Oh
01:43:09Quite necessary
01:43:11I'm Shrek you to it
01:43:14Whatever okay people's this is not rehearsal. Let's see some
01:43:30It's just until dad gets better
01:43:43Oh
01:44:00But decision up a storm I can't reach it in this monkey suit Oh
01:44:06Hey, yeah, come here. What's your name?
01:44:10Fiddles way
01:44:13Perfect
01:44:20Princess Fiona
01:44:42Oh
01:45:13Oh
01:45:28That's it
01:45:31Calm down
01:45:33Who do you think we're kidding? I am an old girl
01:45:37I'm not cut out for this funeral
01:45:43I
01:45:47Think they'd be pretty real don't care
01:45:52Some people just don't understand boundaries
01:45:55Just
01:46:08Think a couple more days and we'll be back home
01:46:14Said Shaq stream with fungus filled with the rotting stench of mud and neglect
01:46:26Maybe
01:46:31That's right, the swamp rats will be spawning
01:46:46Theoretically
01:46:55Oh
01:46:58Honey let's try and be rational about this
01:47:05They just
01:47:06eaten poop and they cry and then they cry when they poop and they poop when they cry now a
01:47:14mountain and
01:47:15Ogre, baby the extra cry and the extra poop
01:47:21Shrek
01:47:23Don't you ever think about having a family
01:47:35Well, somebody better be dying
01:47:38I'm dying
01:47:50Don't forget to pay the card that Lillian
01:48:00Yes, I know I've made many mistakes with you
01:48:05It's okay
01:48:11Taught me so much
01:48:15My dear boy, I am proud to call you my son
01:48:22And I'm proud to call you my frog
01:48:26King bad and long
01:48:28now
01:48:30As a matter of business
01:48:48The frog king
01:49:01It's a happening on full track, please come together
01:49:14This kingdom needs a new king
01:49:19You and Fiona are next in line for the throne Oh
01:49:25Oh
01:49:27Next in line now, you see dad. That's why people love you. Even on your deathbed. You're still making jokes
01:49:41Come on dad an
01:49:43Ogre as king. I don't think that's such a good idea. I mean, there's gotta be somebody else
01:49:51Anybody
01:49:53aside from you
01:49:55There's only one
01:49:59Boy
01:50:02His name is
01:50:08What's his name? What's his name?
01:50:25I
01:50:55I
01:50:59Bad
01:51:25I
01:51:55I
01:52:25I
01:52:55I
01:53:25I
01:53:55I
01:54:05Call you an ugly stepsister
01:54:11Doris taking the night off. She's not welcome here
01:54:17Neither are you
01:54:21What do you want charming much just a chance of redemption
01:54:32And fuzzy navels for all my friends
01:54:47Don't belong here
01:54:59Like you think
01:55:01rich
01:55:04See it snow white and then what happens Oh, what's it to you?
01:55:07We left you the unfairness of them all now. Here you are
01:55:12hustling pool to get your next meal
01:55:16How does that feel?
01:55:28Your star puppet abandons the show to go and find his father
01:55:37Puppet
01:55:47And you frumpy pigskin rubber still skin, where's that first born you were promised a
01:55:57Mabel
01:56:10Right now
01:56:13Come with every little last
01:56:17Creature that has ever done you wrong
01:56:20once upon a time
01:56:23Someone decided that we were the losers
01:56:27There are two sides to every story and our side has not been told
01:56:33So who will join me who wants to come out on top for once?
01:56:39Once they're happily ever
01:57:09I
01:57:39Don't know, but I like to
01:57:54You and your kids is everything
01:57:59These are babies
01:58:02Now Cocoa, you listen to your mama. All right, and bananas no more roasting marshmallows on your sister's head
01:58:09Oh, that's my special boy. Oh, come over here. Oh, you give your daddy a big
01:58:24Shrek
01:58:27Maybe you should just
01:58:29Stay and be king. Oh
01:58:32Come on there's no way I could ever run a kingdom
01:58:37That's why your cousin Arthur is a perfect choice. It's not that
01:58:42It's
01:58:44And if he gives me any trouble, I've always got persuasion and reason
01:58:49Here's persuasion and here's reason
01:58:58Soon it's just gonna be you
01:59:02And no swamp
01:59:06It's not going to be just you
01:59:14It will be I promise I love you
01:59:32I
02:00:02I
02:00:32Oh
02:01:02I
02:01:32Oh
02:02:02I
02:02:32Oh
02:03:02Oh
02:03:32Oh
02:03:59Donkey donkey
02:04:02I
02:04:30Know how it happened
02:04:32I
02:04:34I
02:04:36I
02:04:38I
02:04:40I
02:04:42I
02:04:44I
02:04:46I
02:04:48I
02:04:50I
02:04:52I
02:04:54I
02:04:56I
02:04:58I
02:05:00I
02:05:02I
02:05:04I
02:05:06I
02:05:08I
02:05:10I
02:05:12I
02:05:14I
02:05:16I
02:05:18I
02:05:20I
02:05:22I
02:05:24I
02:05:26I
02:05:28I
02:05:30I
02:05:32I
02:05:34I
02:05:36I
02:05:38I
02:05:40I
02:05:42I
02:05:44I
02:05:46I
02:05:48You're gonna love dad he's a real ogre, okay, okay, I get it
02:05:55Nobody said it was gonna be easy, but at least you got us to help you out. That's true
02:06:01I'm doomed
02:06:06You're finished
02:06:12With your
02:06:18You
02:06:24We're sisters shiree now that sounds fancy it's worse to share like the sauce
02:06:33It's spicy
02:06:39They must be expecting us
02:06:49What is this
02:06:53My stomach aches and my palms just got sweaty must be a high school high school
02:07:18Oh
02:07:33We're starting to feel nauseous from memories of wedgies and swirlies
02:07:42Let's just say some things are better left unsaid and leave it at that
02:07:46So then I was all like I'd rather get the Black Plague and lock myself in an Iron Maiden and go out with you
02:07:58Yes, I just altered my character level to plus three superb ability hi
02:08:04We're looking for someone then he who will the plus nine dorks spell and some of the beast in his quadrupeds
02:08:16But can either of you tell me where I can find Arthur he's over there
02:08:20Oh
02:08:44There is no sweeter taste on my tongue
02:08:50I
02:08:53Strong handsome face of a leader does Arthur look like a king or what?

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