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00:00you might have seen a house fly maybe even a super fly but i bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly
00:15seize him
00:30oh
00:44are you there ogre i by the order of lord farquaad i am authorized to place you both
00:54under arrest and transport you to a designated resettlement facility oh really you in what army
01:08oh
01:21can i say something to you listen you was really really something back there incredible
01:27are you talking to
01:32me
01:32oh yes i was talking to you can i just tell you that you was really great back there man those
01:39guards they thought they was all of that then you showed up and bam they was tripping over
01:44themselves like babes in the woods see that that that really made me feel good to see that oh that's
01:49great really man it's good to be free now why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends
01:57hmm but uh i don't have any friends and i'm not going out there by myself
02:07hey wait a minute i got a great idea i'll stick with you
02:10you a mean green fighting machine together we'll scare the spit out anybody that crosses us
02:21oh that was really scary and if you don't mind me saying if that don't work your breath certainly
02:28we'll get the job done because you definitely need some tic tacs or something because your breath
02:32stinks man you almost burned a hair out my nose just like the time
02:41and then i ate some rotten berries man had some strong gases eking out of my butt that day
02:46why are you following me i'll tell you why
02:54cause i'm all alone there's no one here beside me my problems have all gone there's no one to
03:07deride me but you gotta have free stop singing well it's no wonder you don't have any friends
03:21wow only a true friend would be that truly honest listen little donkey take a look at me what am i
03:30uh
03:36really tall no i'm an ogre you know grab your torch and pitchforks doesn't that bother you
03:49nope really really really oh man i like you what's your name uh
04:00shrek shrek well you know what i like about you shrek you got that kind of
04:08i don't care what nobody thinks of me thing i like that i respect that trick you all right
04:16whoo look at that who's gonna live in a place like that that would be my home
04:25oh and it is lovely just beautiful you know you are quite a decorator it's amazing what
04:31you've done with such a modest budget i like that boulder that is a nice boulder
04:45i guess you don't entertain much do you i like my privacy you know i do too that's another thing
04:53we have in common like i hate it when you got somebody in your face you're trying to
04:57give them a hint they won't leave and then there's that big awkward silence you know
05:06can i stay with you what can i stay with you please of course really no please i don't want
05:18to go back there you don't know what it's like to be considered a freak well maybe you do but
05:24that's why we gotta stick together you gotta let me stay please please okay okay but good night
05:32only ah thank you what do you don't oh this is gonna be fun we can stay up late swapping
05:39manly stories and in the morning i'm making waffles oh where do uh i sleep outside
05:51oh uh i guess that's cool i mean i don't know you you don't know me so i guess outside is best
05:58you know yeah i go
06:06tonight
06:11i mean i do like the outdoors i'm a dunk i was born outside
06:16sitting by myself outside i guess you know by myself outside i'm all alone
06:24there's no one here besides
07:24so
07:27so
07:50i thought i told you to stay outside i am outside
07:57so
08:04well gents it's a far cry from the farm but what choice do we have let's start home
08:10but we'll do just fine what a lovely bed gotcha i found some cheese
08:17oh awful stuff
08:23is that you gorda how did you know enough what are you doing in my house
08:31hey oh no no no dead broad off the table where you're supposed to put it the bed's taken
08:41huh
08:46what i live in a swamp i put up signs i'm a terrifying ogre what do i have to do to get a
08:57message
09:02oh no
09:04no
09:20what are you doing in my swamp
09:35all right get out of here all of you moving come on let's go
09:52hey don't look at me i didn't invite them oh gosh no one invited us what we were forced to
10:00come here by who lord farquaad he hoofed and he poofed and he signed an eviction notice
10:11all right who knows where this farquaad guy is
10:20oh i do i know where he is does anyone else know where to find him
10:27anyone at all me me anyone oh pick me oh i know i know me me
10:36okay fine attention all fairy tale things do not get comfortable your welcome is officially worn out
10:51officially worn out in fact i'm gonna see this guy farquaad right
10:57now and get you all off my land and back where you came from
11:11oh yeah you're coming with me all right that's what i like to hear man
11:20shrek and duncan two stalwart friends off on a whirlwind big city adventure i love it
11:27on the road again sing it with me shrek i can't wait to get on the road again
11:35what did i say about singing well can i whistle no well can i hum it all right
11:50huh
11:57so
12:20that's enough he's ready to talk
12:27ah
12:40run run run as fast as you can you can't catch me i'm the gingerbread man you're a monster i'm not
12:50monster here you are you and the rest of that fairy tale trash poisoning my perfect world
12:58now tell me where are the others
13:03i've tried to be fair to you creatures now my patience has reached its end tell me or i'll
13:11no not the buttons not my gumdrop button all right then who's hiding them okay i'll tell you
13:22do you know the muffin man the muffin man the muffin man yes i know the muffin man
13:30who lives on drury lane well she's married to the muffin man the muffin man
13:38a muffin man she's married to the muffin man my lord we found it well then what are you waiting for
13:47bring it in
13:57oh
14:08magic mirror don't tell him anything
14:13no
14:18evening mirror mirror on the wall is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all
14:27well technically you're not a king uh felonious
14:35you were saying what i mean is uh you're not a king yet but but you can become one
14:41all you have to do is marry a princess go on so just sit back and relax my lord
14:52because it's time for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes and here they are
15:02bachelorette number one is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom far far away she likes
15:09sushi and hot tubbing anytime her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for her two evil sisters
15:16please welcome cinderella bachelorette number two is a cape-wearing girl from the land of fancy
15:24although she lives with seven other men she's not easy just kiss her dead frozen lips and find out
15:30what a live wire she is come on give it up for snow white and last but certainly not least
15:40bachelorette number three is a fiery redhead from a dragon guarded castle surrounded by high
15:45boiling lava but don't let that cool you off she's a loaded pistol who likes pina coladas and getting
15:52caught in the rain yours for the rescuing princess fiona so will it be bachelorette number one
16:02bachelorette number two or bachelorette number three
16:06two three
16:17okay okay uh number three lord farquaad you've chosen princess fiona
16:36if she's perfect all i have to do is just find someone but i probably should mention the little
16:44thing that happens at night i'll do it yes but after sunset silence i will make this princess
16:51fiona my queen and yulok will finally have the perfect king captain assemble your finest men
17:01we're going to have a tournament
17:09well that's it that's it right there that's dulac i told you i found it so
17:16that must be lord farquaad's castle yeah that's the place
17:23do you think maybe he's compensating for something
17:30hey wait wait up shrek
17:41hey you
17:44wait a second look i'm not gonna eat you i just i just
18:01um
18:17hmm
18:31It's quiet
18:37Too quiet
18:42Where is everybody? Hey look at this
19:00Welcome to Duloc, such a perfect town
19:08Here we have some rules, let us lay them down
19:13Go big waves, stay in line, and we'll get along fine
19:18Duloc is a perfect place
19:22Please keep up on the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your face
19:28Duloc is, Duloc is, Duloc is a perfect place
19:47Wow, let's do that again
19:51No, no, no, no
19:59Raise the ice
20:09Alright, you're going the right way for a smack bottom
20:12Sorry about that
20:15That champion shall have the honour, no no, the privilege
20:21To go forth and rescue the lovely princess Fiona from the fiery keep of the dragon
20:31If for any reason the winner is unsuccessful, the first runner up will take his place
20:41And so on and so forth
20:44Some of you may die, but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make
20:58Let the tournament begin
21:08What is that?
21:11It's hideous
21:14That's not very nice
21:17It's just a donkey
21:20Indeed
21:22Knights, new plan
21:24The one who kills the ogre will be named champion
21:29How about him?
21:31Oh hey, now come on
21:34Hang on now
21:37Can't we just settle this over a pint?
21:45No?
21:47Alright then
21:51Come on
21:53Come on
22:06Come on
22:10Come on
22:13Come on
22:18Come on
22:21Come on
22:31Hey Shrek, tag me, tag me
22:35Come on
22:49Yeah, beautiful trap
23:06Oh
23:23Thank you
23:25Thank you very much
23:27I'm here till Thursday
23:29Try the veal
23:36Shall I give the order, sir?
23:39No
23:41I have a better idea
23:44People of Duloc, I give you our champion
23:51What?
23:53Congratulations, ogre
23:56You've won the honor of embarking on a great and noble quest
24:01Quest?
24:03I'm already on a quest
24:05A quest to get my swamp back
24:07Your swamp?
24:09Yeah, my swamp
24:11Where you dumped those fairy tale creatures
24:16Indeed
24:18Alright, ogre, I'll make you a deal
24:21Go on this quest for me and I'll give you your swamp back
24:26Exactly the way it was
24:29Down to the last slime-covered toadstool
24:32And the squatters?
24:34As good as gone
24:41What kind of quest?
24:45Okay, let me get this straight
24:47You're gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a princess just so Farquaad will give you back a swamp
24:52Which you only don't have because he filled it full of freaks in the first place
24:56Is that about right?
24:57You know what?
24:58Maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk
25:02I don't get it, Shrek
25:04Why don't you just pull some of that ogre stuff on him?
25:06You know, throttle him, lay siege to his fortress
25:09Grind his bones to make your bread
25:11You know, the whole ogre trip
25:13Oh, I know what
25:15Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village and put their heads on a pike
25:21Grab the knife, cut open their spleen and drink their fluids
25:26Does that sound good to you?
25:28Uh...
25:30No, not really, no
25:32For your information, there's a lot more to ogres than people think
25:37Example?
25:38Example?
25:40Okay, um...
25:43Ogres are like onions
25:47They stink?
25:48Yes, no
25:49Oh, they make you cry?
25:50No!
25:51Oh, you leave them out in the sun, they get all brown, start sprouting little white hairs
25:55No!
25:56Layers!
25:58Onions have layers
26:01Ogres have layers
26:03Onions have layers
26:05You get it, we both have layers
26:10Oh, you both have layers
26:16You know, not everybody like onions
26:19Cake!
26:20Everybody loves cakes
26:22Cakes have layers
26:23I don't care what everyone likes
26:28Ogres are not like cakes
26:35You know what else everybody like? Parfait
26:38Have you ever met a person, you say, hey, let's get some parfait
26:41They say, hell no, I don't like no parfait
26:43Parfaits are delicious
26:45No!
26:46You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden
26:50Ogres are like onions
26:52End of story, bye bye
26:55See you later
27:02Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet
27:06You know, I think I preferred your humming
27:10Do you have a tissue or something? Because I'm making a mess
27:14Just the word parfait made me start slobbering
27:23I'm on my way from misery to happiness, baby
27:33I'm on my way from misery to happiness, baby
27:43And everything that you receive up yonder
27:48Is what you give to me the day I wonder
27:53I'm on my way
27:58I'm on my way
28:03I'm on my way
28:06Whew, Shrek, did you do that?
28:09Man, you gotta warn somebody before you just crack one off
28:13My mouth was open and everything
28:14Believe me, Donkey, if it was me
28:17You'd be dead
28:20It's brimstone
28:22We must be getting close
28:24Yeah, right, brimstone
28:27Don't be talking about just a brimstone
28:29I know what I smell and there wasn't no brimstone
28:32Didn't come off no stone, neither
28:47I'm on my way
28:58Sure, it's big enough
29:00But look at the location
29:06Uh, Shrek
29:08Remember when you said that ogres have lairs?
29:13Why?
29:15Well, I have a bit of a confession to make
29:18Donkeys don't have lairs
29:20We wear our fear right out there on our sleeves
29:23Wait a second, donkeys don't have sleeves
29:26You know what I mean
29:28Oh, you can't tell me you're afraid of heights
29:31No, I'm just a little uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge over a boiling lake of lava
29:37Come on, Donkey
29:39I'm right here beside you, okay?
29:42Okay, for emotional support
29:46We'll just tackle this thing together one little baby step at a time
29:52Really?
29:53Really, really
29:55Okay, that makes me feel so much better
29:57Just keep moving and don't look down
30:01Don't look down, don't look down
30:03Keep on moving and don't look down
30:05Don't look down
30:07Keep on moving and don't look down
30:10Shrek, I'm looking down
30:13Oh, God, I can't do this
30:15Just let me off right now, please
30:17But you're already halfway
30:19Yeah, but I know that half is safe
30:21Okay, fine
30:23I don't have time for this
30:24You go back
30:25Shrek, no, wait
30:26Just don't keep going
30:27Let's have a dance then, shall we?
30:29Don't keep going
30:31Don't do that
30:33Oh, I'm sorry
30:35Do what?
30:37Oh, this?
30:39Yes, that
30:41Yes?
30:43Yes, do it
30:45Okay
30:47No, Shrek
30:49No, stop it
30:51Do it, I'm doing it
30:53Oh, God, I'm going to die
30:55I'm going to die, Shrek, I'm going to die
31:01That'll do, Donkey
31:03That'll do
31:07Cool
31:13So, where is this fire-breathing pain-in-neck anyway?
31:17Inside, waiting for us to rescue her
31:21I was talking about the dragon, Shrek
31:37You're afraid
31:47No
31:49But
31:51Oh, good, me neither
31:57Well, of course, there's nothing wrong with being afraid
32:00You know, fear's a sensible response to an unfamiliar situation
32:04Unfamiliar dangerous situation, I might add
32:07And with a dragon that breathes fire and ignites and breathes fire
32:10It sure doesn't mean you're a coward if you're a little scared, you know what I mean?
32:14I sure as heck ain't no coward, I know that
32:20Donkey
32:22Two things, okay?
32:25Shot
32:27Up
32:28Now go over there and see if you can find any stairs
32:31Stairs?
32:33I thought we was looking for the princess
32:35The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower
32:41What makes you think she'll be there?
32:43I read it in a book once
32:46Well, cool, you handle the dragon, I'll handle the stairs
32:51Oh, I'll find those stairs, I'll whip their butt too
32:54That's right, those stairs won't know which way they're going
33:03Take drastic steps, kick them to the curb
33:06Don't mess with me, I'm the stair master
33:08I've mastered the stairs
33:10I wish I had a step right here, right here, and now I'd step all over it
33:18Well, at least we know where the princess is
33:21But where's the dragon?
33:34Whoa!
33:45Donkey, look out!
33:50Whoa!
33:53Ah!
34:02Gotcha!
34:09Ah! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
34:14Ah!
34:19Oh!
34:22Ah!
34:29Ah!
34:33Oh!
34:35Ah!
34:39Ah!
34:49No, oh no, no! Ah!
34:53Oh, what large teeth you have!
34:57I mean, white sparkling teeth
35:00I know you probably hear this all the time from your food
35:03But you must bleach or something, because that is one dazzling smile you got there
35:08And do I detect a hint of minty freshness?
35:11And you know what else? You know what else?
35:14You're a girl dragon
35:17Oh, sure, I mean, of course you're a girl dragon
35:23Because you're just reeking of feminine beauty
35:28What's the matter with you? You got something in your eye?
35:31Yeah, oh
35:33Oh
35:35Man, I'd really love to stay, but you know, I'm an asthmatic
35:39And I don't know if it'll work out, you're gonna be blowing smoke rains and stuff
35:43Shrek!
35:48No, Shrek! Shrek!
36:01Shrek!
36:32Oh!
36:34Wake up!
36:35What?
36:36Are you Princess Fiona?
36:39I am
36:41Awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me
36:45Oh, that's nice
36:46Now let's go!
36:48But wait, Sir Knight
36:50This beeth our first meeting
36:53Should it not be a wonderful, romantic moment?
36:58Yeah
36:59Sorry, lady, there's no time
37:01Hey, wait! What are you doing?
37:04You know, you should sweep me off my feet out yonder window
37:08And down a rope onto your valiant steed
37:11You've had a lot of time to plan this, haven't you?
37:15Mm-hmm
37:16Ah!
37:20But we have to save for this moment
37:23You could recite an epic poem for me
37:27A ballad?
37:28A sonnet?
37:30A limerick?
37:32Or something?
37:33I don't think so
37:34Well, can I at least know the name of my champion?
37:40Um, Shrek
37:43Sir Shrek
37:47I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude
37:54Thanks
38:01You didn't slay the dragon?
38:04It's on my to-do list, now come on!
38:07But this isn't right!
38:10You're meant to charge in, sword drawn, banner fight
38:14That's what all the other knights did
38:16Yeah, right before they burst into flame
38:19No, that's not the point
38:23Wait, where are you going? The exit's over there
38:27Well, I have to save my ass
38:30What kind of knight are you?
38:34One of a kind
38:37Let's go, baby, let's go
38:39May I, baby, please?
38:40Look, I believe it's healthy to get to know someone
38:43A long period of time, you know
38:45Just call me old-fashioned, you know
38:48I don't want to rush into a physical relationship
38:53I'm not emotionally ready for a commitment of this magnitude
38:59Really is the word I'm looking for, magnitude
39:02Hey, that is unwanted physical contact
39:05Hey, what are you doing?
39:07Okay, okay, let's just back up a little and take this one step at a time
39:12I mean, we really should get to know each other first, you know, as friends
39:16Maybe even as pen pals, you know, because I'm on the road a lot
39:19But I just love receiving cards to read
39:22So, hey, you know, I really love staying with you
39:26Hey, hey, hey, don't do that, that's my tag, that's my personal account
39:29Boy, you're going to tear it off
39:31I don't give permission to
39:32Hey, what are you going to do with that?
39:35Okay, I'm over it
39:37No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
39:41Oh!
40:11Ah!
40:12Ah, princess!
40:13It talks!
40:14Yeah, it's getting them to shut up, that's the trick
40:18Ah!
40:19Ah!
40:20Ah!
40:21Ah!
40:22Ah!
40:23Ah!
40:24Ah!
40:25Ah!
40:26Ah!
40:27Ah!
40:28Ah!
40:29Ah!
40:30Ah!
40:31Ah!
40:32Ah!
40:33Ah!
40:34Ah!
40:35Ah!
40:36Ah!
40:37Ah!
40:38Ah!
40:39Ah!
40:40Ah!
40:41Ah!
40:42Ah!
40:43Ah!
40:44Ah!
40:45Ah!
40:46Ah!
40:47Ah!
40:48Ah!
40:49Ah!
40:50Ah!
40:51Ah!
40:52Ah!
40:53Ah!
40:54Ah!
40:55Ah!
40:56Ah!
40:57Ah!
40:58Ah!
40:59Ah!
41:00Ah!
41:01Ah!
41:02Ah!
41:03Ah!
41:04Ah!
41:05Ah!
41:06Ah!
41:07Ah!
41:08Ah!
41:09Head for the exit!
41:13I'll take care of the dragon.
41:39I'll take care of the dragon.
42:09You did it! You rescued me! You're amazing! You're wonderful! You're...
42:36A little unorthodox, I'll admit, but thy deed is great and thine heart is pure. I am eternally in your debt.
42:51And where would a brave knight be without his noble steed?
42:56All right, I hope you heard that. She called me a noble steed. She think I'm a steed?
43:02The battle is won. You may remove your helmet, good Sir Knight.
43:08Ah, no.
43:10Why not?
43:12I... I have helmet hair.
43:15Please, I would look upon the face of my rescuer.
43:19Oh, no you wouldn't. Just.
43:22But, how will you kiss me?
43:25What? That wasn't in the job description.
43:31Maybe it's a perk?
43:33No, it's destiny. Oh, you must know how it goes.
43:39A princess locked in a tower and beset by a dragon is rescued by a brave knight.
43:47And then they share true love's first kiss.
43:51First kiss?
43:53With Shrek? You think... Wait, wait, wait. You think that Shrek is your true love?
43:59Well, yes.
44:10What is so funny?
44:13Let's just say I'm not your type, okay?
44:16Of course you are. You're my rescuer.
44:21Now, now remove your helmet.
44:24Look, I really don't think this is a good idea.
44:27Just take off the helmet.
44:29I'm not going to.
44:30Take it off.
44:31No!
44:32Now!
44:33Okay, easy. As you command, your highness.
44:52You're an ogre.
44:57Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming.
45:01Well, yes, actually.
45:06Oh, no. This is all wrong.
45:11You're not supposed to be an ogre.
45:15Princess, I was sent to rescue you by Lord Farquaad, okay?
45:20He's the one who wants to marry you.
45:23Well, then why didn't he come rescue me?
45:26Good question. You should ask him that when we get there.
45:30But I have to be rescued by my true love.
45:34Not by some ogre and his pet.
45:38Well, so much for noble steed.
45:41Look, princess, you're not making my job any easier.
45:44Well, I'm sorry, but your job is not my problem.
45:48You can tell Lord Farquaad that if he wants to rescue me properly,
45:55I'll be waiting for him right here.
45:58Hey, I'm no one's messenger boy, all right?
46:03I'm a delivery boy.
46:05You wouldn't dare.
46:09You coming, Donkey?
46:10Put me down!
46:11No, yep, I'm right behind you.
46:12Put me down or you will suffer the consequences!
46:17This is not dignified! Put me down!
46:25Okay, so here's another question.
46:27Say there's a woman that digs you, right?
46:29But you don't really like her that way.
46:31Now, how do you let her down real easy so her feelings aren't hurt,
46:34but you don't get burned to a crisp and eaten?
46:36How do you do that?
46:38Just tell her she's not your true love.
46:40Everyone knows what happens when you find your...
46:44Hey!
46:47The sooner we get to Duloc, the better.
46:50Oh, yeah, you're gonna love it there, Princess. It's beautiful!
46:54And what of my groom-to-be, Lord Farquaad? What's he like?
46:58Well, let me put it this way, Princess.
47:02Men of Farquaad's stature are in short supply.
47:08Oh, no, Shrek. There are those who think little of him.
47:16Stop it. Stop it, both of you.
47:20You know, you're just jealous that you could never measure up
47:23to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad.
47:26Yeah, well, maybe you're right, Princess.
47:30But I'll let you do the measuring when you see him tomorrow.
47:35Tomorrow?
47:38It'll take that long?
47:41Shouldn't we stop to make camp?
47:43No, that'll take longer.
47:46We can keep going.
47:48But there's robbers in the woods.
47:52Whoa, time out, Shrek. Camping's definitely starting to sound good.
47:56Hey, come on.
47:58I'm scarier than anything we're gonna see in this forest.
48:02I need to find somewhere to camp now!
48:08Hey, over here.
48:11Shrek, we can do better than that.
48:14Now, I don't think this is fit for a princess.
48:17No, no, it's perfect.
48:19It just needs a few homie touches.
48:22Homie touches? Like what?
48:28A door?
48:30Well, gentlemen, I bid thee goodnight.
48:33You want me to come in there and read you a bedtime story?
48:36I said goodnight!
48:42Shrek, what are you doing?
48:47Oh, come on, I was just kidding.
48:58Now, now, Shrek.
49:01And, uh, that one.
49:05That's Throwback.
49:07The only ogre to ever spit over three wheat fields.
49:11Right.
49:13Yeah.
49:16Hey, can you tell my future from these stars?
49:19Well, the stars don't tell the future, Donkey.
49:22They tell stories.
49:24Look, there's Bloodnut the Flatulent.
49:27You can guess what he's famous for.
49:30All right, now I know you're making this up.
49:33No, look.
49:35There he is, and there's the group of hunters running away from his stench.
49:40Man, that ain't nothing but a bunch of little dots.
49:43You know, Donkey, sometimes things are more than they appear.
49:51Forget it.
49:58Hey, Shrek.
50:00What we gonna do when we get our swamp anyway?
50:03Our swamp?
50:05You know, when we're through rescuing the princess and all that stuff.
50:08We? Donkey, there's no we.
50:11There's no our.
50:13There's just me and my swamp.
50:16And the first thing I'm gonna do is build a ten-foot wall around my land.
50:23You cut me deep, Shrek.
50:25You cut me real deep just now.
50:28You know what I think?
50:30I think this whole wall thing is just a way to keep somebody out.
50:35No.
50:37Do you think?
50:39Are you hiding something?
50:41Never mind, Donkey.
50:43Oh, this is another one of those onion things, isn't it?
50:48No, this is one of those drop it and leave it alone things.
50:53Why don't you want to talk about it?
50:54Why do you want to talk about it?
50:57Why are you blocking?
50:59I'm not blocking.
51:00Oh, yes, you are.
51:01Donkey, I'm warning you.
51:03Who are you trying to keep out? Just tell me that, Shrek. Who?
51:05Everyone, okay?
51:08Oh, now we're getting somewhere.
51:11Oh, for the love of Pete.
51:15Hey, what's your problem, Shrek?
51:17What you got against the whole world anyway, huh?
51:19Look, I'm not the one with the problem, okay?
51:21It's the world that seems to have a problem with me.
51:24People take one look at me and go,
51:27Ah, help! Run!
51:30A big, stupid, ugly ogre.
51:35They judge me before they even know me.
51:39That's why I'm better off alone.
51:52You know what?
51:54When we met,
51:56I didn't think you was just a big, stupid, ugly ogre.
52:01Yeah, I know.
52:05So, uh,
52:07are there any donkeys up there?
52:09Well, there's, um, Gabby.
52:13The small.
52:15Undenying.
52:17Okay, okay, I see it now, yeah.
52:18The big, shining one, right there, right?
52:20That one there?
52:23That's the moon.
52:25Oh, okay.
52:28Shrek?
52:30Oh, now what does he want?
52:37Hi, everyone.
52:39Having a good time, are ya?
52:42I love Duloc, first of all.
52:44Pretty clean.
52:46What are you doing here?
52:48Really, it's rude enough being alive when no one wants you,
52:52but showing up uninvited to a wedding!
52:55Fiona!
52:57I need to talk to you.
52:59Oh, now you want to talk?
53:01Well, it's a little late for that, so if you'll excuse me.
53:04But you can't marry him!
53:06And why not?
53:08Because...
53:10Because he's just marrying you so he can be king!
53:13Outrageous!
53:15Fiona, don't listen to him.
53:16He's not your true love.
53:18What do you know about true love?
53:20Well, I...
53:22Uh...
53:24I mean...
53:26Oh, this is precious!
53:29The ogre has fallen in love with the princess!
53:34Oh, good lord!
53:37An ogre and a princess!
53:46Jack...
53:48Is this true?
53:51Who cares?
53:53It's preposterous!
53:55Fiona, my love, we're but a kiss away from our happily ever after.
53:59Now kiss me!
54:07By night one way, by day another.
54:10I wanted to show you before.
54:41Oh!
54:46Well...
54:48Uh...
54:50That explains a lot.
54:52Oh!
54:54It's disgusting!
54:56Guards!
54:58Guards!
55:00I order you to get them out of my sight!
55:02Now!
55:04Get them! Get them both!
55:06Focus! Focus!
55:07This marriage is binding!
55:09And that makes me king!
55:11See? See?
55:13Jack!
55:14No!
55:15Stand there, you morons!
55:17Get out of my way if you have to!
55:18Fiona!
55:19Forget it!
55:26Stay where you are!
55:28I'll see you born and raised!
55:30You'll beg for death to save you!
55:33Jack!
55:34And as for you, my wife!
55:37I'll have you locked back in that tower for the rest of your days!
55:42I am king!
55:43I will have order!
55:45I will have perfection!
55:47I will have...
55:56All right, nobody move!
55:58I got a dragon here and I'm not afraid to use it!
56:02I'm a donkey on the edge!
56:08Celebrity marriages, they never last, do they?
56:16Go ahead, Shrek.
56:19Uh...
56:21Fiona?
56:23Yes, Shrek?
56:26I...
56:29I love you.
56:32Really?
56:33Really, really.
56:37I love you, too.