"I live with my husband and boyfriend - it was the only way to afford a house"
A polyamorous mum who lives with her husband AND boyfriend says inviting a third person into the relationship was the "only way" they could afford to buy a house.
Jennifer Martin, 36, and her husband Daniel, 36, had previously struggled with their finances and had $50,000 of student debt between them.
The couple - who have two children together aged 11 and 13 - decided to try polyamory nine years ago.
Jennifer began dating Ty Simpson, 34, a process manager at a bank, six years ago and the family all moved in to a rented a house together initially.
They couldn't be happier and Jennifer says they decided to pool their finances which finally enabled them to buy a four-bedroom, three-bathroom house for $325k.
Jennifer, a writer, living in Richmond, Virginia, US, said: “I don’t think it would’ve happened without three incomes.
"I don't even know if Daniel and I would've been able to buy a house otherwise - period.
“Ty moved in with us not primarily for financial reasons, but it was definitely a big benefit.
"It's changed my life."
Daniel, a school teacher, said: "Finances are less of a worry since we all combined our incomes.
"I enjoy the freedom that we all have together in our new home. There's space for everyone, and it is nice to own a property so we can make it our own."
Jennifer met Daniel through the church at aged 18, they tied the knot at age 20 and had their children by aged 25.
She said: “Daniel and I have never had separate finances. We’re very intertwined financially - it’s almost co-dependent.
“We had kids young, and we were on WIC - a food program for women, infants and children - and then food stamps for a little bit.”
The couple agreed to try polyamory in December 2015 and opened up their marriage in 2016.
Jennifer said: “I posed it to my husband that I wasn’t sure whether I could do monogamy forever.
“We read books, researched, went to therapies. We took it really slow because we didn’t have much experience in dating other than each other.”
She began dating Ty in 2018 and in March 2020 they all moved in together.
Jennifer said: “I talked to my kids about it, and we asked for their permission. It was a decision we made really mindfully and carefully.”
The three also spoke at length about finances before deciding to combine them.
Together, their income is around $160,000-a-year - Jennifer makes roughly $30,000, Daniel $55,000, and Ty, $75,000.
Jennifer said: “We talked a lot about how to split costs, and we’ve never had a fight about it.
"We’re just really focused on thinking - what do we need to cut? What do we need to do to make big purchases or big financial decisions?
“Not one of us is a big spender. We’re all pretty moderate. We don’t deny ourselves everything for savings but also don’t make random $500 purchases.”
Jennifer says they are in a ‘vee’ relationship - meaning she and Ty are dating, but Daniel and Ty aren’t.
Jennifer Martin, 36, and her husband Daniel, 36, had previously struggled with their finances and had $50,000 of student debt between them.
The couple - who have two children together aged 11 and 13 - decided to try polyamory nine years ago.
Jennifer began dating Ty Simpson, 34, a process manager at a bank, six years ago and the family all moved in to a rented a house together initially.
They couldn't be happier and Jennifer says they decided to pool their finances which finally enabled them to buy a four-bedroom, three-bathroom house for $325k.
Jennifer, a writer, living in Richmond, Virginia, US, said: “I don’t think it would’ve happened without three incomes.
"I don't even know if Daniel and I would've been able to buy a house otherwise - period.
“Ty moved in with us not primarily for financial reasons, but it was definitely a big benefit.
"It's changed my life."
Daniel, a school teacher, said: "Finances are less of a worry since we all combined our incomes.
"I enjoy the freedom that we all have together in our new home. There's space for everyone, and it is nice to own a property so we can make it our own."
Jennifer met Daniel through the church at aged 18, they tied the knot at age 20 and had their children by aged 25.
She said: “Daniel and I have never had separate finances. We’re very intertwined financially - it’s almost co-dependent.
“We had kids young, and we were on WIC - a food program for women, infants and children - and then food stamps for a little bit.”
The couple agreed to try polyamory in December 2015 and opened up their marriage in 2016.
Jennifer said: “I posed it to my husband that I wasn’t sure whether I could do monogamy forever.
“We read books, researched, went to therapies. We took it really slow because we didn’t have much experience in dating other than each other.”
She began dating Ty in 2018 and in March 2020 they all moved in together.
Jennifer said: “I talked to my kids about it, and we asked for their permission. It was a decision we made really mindfully and carefully.”
The three also spoke at length about finances before deciding to combine them.
Together, their income is around $160,000-a-year - Jennifer makes roughly $30,000, Daniel $55,000, and Ty, $75,000.
Jennifer said: “We talked a lot about how to split costs, and we’ve never had a fight about it.
"We’re just really focused on thinking - what do we need to cut? What do we need to do to make big purchases or big financial decisions?
“Not one of us is a big spender. We’re all pretty moderate. We don’t deny ourselves everything for savings but also don’t make random $500 purchases.”
Jennifer says they are in a ‘vee’ relationship - meaning she and Ty are dating, but Daniel and Ty aren’t.
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00So, I live with my two partners, Daniel and Ty, um, they don't date each other, I date
00:08both of them, and we three recently bought a house together in December.
00:13Now, we don't have money from our parents, I think we, I have what we, I would call normal
00:19jobs, that's what, and, you know, it's been tough for millennials, like, I've been subjected
00:24to the worst of capitalism, but polyamory is what offered a solution to that and made
00:31us able to purchase a home, and, anyway, I'm a, I know polyamory's not for everybody, but
00:39I'm a strong believer in communalism, and so, I was just thinking maybe it's for you,
00:47I actually wrote an article about it, if you want to Google, business insider, Jennifer
00:51Martin polyamory bought a house, so, tomorrow is my anniversary with my husband, and I'm
00:59feeling so lazy that I just asked Ty, my partner, to go pick up a gift for me for my husband.
01:05Unacceptable.