A New Beginning | Sarah Jessica Parker | Full Movie | Drama, Romance
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Good morning. Because it's important that we all get to know one another, I would like
00:00:07you to wear these.
00:00:10I've taken two other courses from you this year, and you still don't know my name, Mr.
00:00:17Yu.
00:00:18I most certainly do.
00:00:19What is it?
00:00:20Look, Miss Chen.
00:00:21You just looked.
00:00:23The Price of Postmodernism Epistemology and Literary Canon. I've never had to wait this
00:00:35long for a response from the publisher.
00:00:38He said it's unpublished.
00:00:40He said that?
00:00:41Yes.
00:00:42Leave a message to call me.
00:00:47Although we may think him a curmudgeon and see his key to all mythologies as a monument
00:00:52to pedantry, she sees him as the embodiment of virtue.
00:00:56For next time, read Maud, all of it.
00:01:00What are you doing?
00:01:27Um, there's a paper jam, a Xerox machine.
00:01:33Aren't you happy to see your brother, Lawrence?
00:01:36Adopted brother.
00:01:40How's the kitchen knife sales? Where's the aluminum siding? How's that going?
00:01:45Calling cards. It's my new line. It's all kinds of great deals, domestic and foreign.
00:01:51We just added the tiny island nation of Haiti. It's a gold mine.
00:01:55I'm glad to see that you're doing meaningful work.
00:02:01Um, Lawrence, listen, I wanted to ask a favor, but it's really...
00:02:06Not again, please. I believe that I loaned you $1,200 the last time that you showed up
00:02:12two years ago, and before that it was another $600.
00:02:14I'm going to help you, Bloom. Whatever it is that you're asking, the answer is no.
00:02:20I love you.
00:02:51Knock, knock, knock.
00:03:02Hey, I'm sorry to bother you, but do you have a moment to discuss the character of Cosmond?
00:03:06Do you think that Elliot...
00:03:07My office hours are over.
00:03:08The sign says wait till 5 o'clock.
00:03:10Right.
00:03:12Okay, but my watch is at 7 till. I just need 5 minutes.
00:03:14That is a Visual University test.
00:03:17My watch actually gets information by satellite, and it's accurate to 1 millionth of a second.
00:03:23Take it up with maintenance. Their offices are across the campus, behind the stadium.
00:03:28Of course, they close at 5. Good luck to you.
00:03:47Good evening.
00:03:49Hey, Dad.
00:04:00We need to discuss something.
00:04:02What is Gibraltars?
00:04:04I've underlined over $300 worth of items you charged there last month.
00:04:08It's an art book, Elliot.
00:04:10Gibraltars. I've underlined over $300 worth of items you charged there last month.
00:04:15It's an art bookstore. I'm taking art history, and the books are expensive.
00:04:22I didn't know you wrote poetry.
00:04:24There's a lot you don't know.
00:04:35Shit.
00:04:40Shit.
00:04:57I need my car.
00:05:04I need my car.
00:05:06Well, I'm going to need to see your receipt from campus security.
00:05:09Davidson will take care of it on Monday. I have an arrangement with him.
00:05:14I can't give you your car without a receipt.
00:05:16I said Davidson will take care of it.
00:05:18You don't even remember me, do you?
00:05:20I took your Victorian poetry class last spring.
00:05:23Yes.
00:05:26Give me a D.
00:05:28Yes, I remember.
00:05:31Ben a new free. I mean...
00:05:32Ben a new free.
00:05:33No receipt, no vehicle.
00:05:35I can see that you take your job very seriously.
00:05:38So how about that I offer you $20 for your trouble?
00:05:45According to Rule 17B in the Carnegie Mellon University Traffic Citation Manual...
00:05:49Listen, you litigious little shit, I need my briefcase.
00:05:52Now stop your babbling, open up that gate, and let me in.
00:05:56The only way you'll get in there is if you pay the fine and bring me the receipt.
00:06:00At which point, this litigious little sh...
00:06:05Hey.
00:06:24Ow.
00:06:36Ow.
00:06:50Hey!
00:06:57Maybe you should spend less time memorizing parking manuals and more time being alert.
00:07:06Mr. Weatherholt, I need you to wake up.
00:07:10All right.
00:07:12Mr. Weatherholt, I need you to wake up.
00:07:15I was just resting my eyes.
00:07:17Have you suffered seizures before?
00:07:19Before what?
00:07:20Before tonight.
00:07:22You suffered a trauma-induced seizure earlier this evening.
00:07:25Do you know what day of the week it is?
00:07:27Yes.
00:07:28Well?
00:07:30Well what?
00:07:32Are you always this contentious, or is this the result of the head trauma?
00:07:35I prefer language to be precise.
00:07:38Well, then you should have said, I prefer precise language, not I prefer language to be precise.
00:07:45I'm thirsty.
00:07:47Would you...
00:07:49You need to stay overnight for observation.
00:07:52I need to make a phone call.
00:07:56They recognize you?
00:07:57Nope.
00:07:59Well, you have aged.
00:08:01Shut up.
00:08:02He told me my language was imprecise.
00:08:05Was it?
00:08:06Imprecise?
00:08:12Hello?
00:08:13Hi, may I please speak with Mrs. Weatherholt?
00:08:19Hello?
00:08:20Hello?
00:08:21Hi, may I please speak with Mrs. Weatherholt?
00:08:34I'm sorry, I'm not interested.
00:08:36May I please speak to Mrs. Weatherholt?
00:08:39She's been dead for many years. Thank you for the painful reminder, whatever it is you're peddling. I'm not interested.
00:08:45I'm calling about your father. He's not home. Take us off your calling list.
00:08:49No, he's here in the ER. He's had an accident.
00:08:54Is he okay?
00:08:55I mean, he's fine. He's resting. He suffered a concussion and a trauma-induced seizure.
00:09:00Are you familiar with Allegheny General? Because I'm sure your father would love to see you when he wakes.
00:09:04You know, I'm taking the SAT tomorrow, and it is ten o'clock right now, which means I have one more hour to practice before I must go to bed.
00:09:13You know, head injuries are often more severe than they initially appear.
00:09:17And your point?
00:09:18Well, I would hate for you to regret something as simple as not visiting your father in the hospital.
00:09:23I appreciate the tip, Dr. Phil.
00:09:28Bitch.
00:09:29Bitch.
00:09:42Tighten the shot.
00:09:45What happened to my car? It was in the impoundment lot.
00:09:50I imagine it's still there.
00:09:52If anyone asks, I was mugged.
00:09:54I'm not going to lie for you. Roll over.
00:09:56Just be vague.
00:10:03There you go. That was well done.
00:10:15We're nice of you to come.
00:10:17So what happened to your head?
00:10:19A big guy chased me. I climbed a fence. It's all a blur.
00:10:24Great. So now if I don't get the perfect score, at least I have someone to blame.
00:10:28Oh, and that adopted brother of yours Chuck called?
00:10:31He left a bunch of messages, but I heard his voice and deleted them all.
00:10:35Yes, he showed up at the office today as well.
00:10:38Oh. It was so nice of you to come. I'm Dr. Hartigan.
00:10:44Now, I want you to call your brother, tell him to get my car out of the impound lot, and to have it here at 9 a.m. sharp.
00:10:51Um, excuse me. No, you do that.
00:10:53You know, because of the seizure, you can't legally drive for six months. I have to report it to the DMV.
00:10:58No, just don't report it. Six months is a long time.
00:11:02I'm not being your chauffeur for six months. These times are crucial.
00:11:05Young Republicans, Model UN, National Honor Society.
00:11:09I will hire a driver on Monday. The insurance company will pay for it.
00:11:14Okay, well, if you need anything, just have one of the nurses page me. I'm here all night.
00:11:18Okay.
00:11:20Now, just go home and get some sleep, and you'll get that perfect SAT score.
00:11:24Sweet.
00:11:26Mercurial.
00:11:29I learned that word in the fifth grade.
00:11:31Fecundity.
00:11:33Ah, English is my first language.
00:11:36Auxorious.
00:11:38Yeah, that's appropriately obscure. Mind you, I know it. Overly fond of one's wife.
00:11:44That's my girl.
00:11:46I have a good one.
00:11:48Aft.
00:11:50Let me ponder.
00:11:53Short in stature. Dominative.
00:11:57No, sorry. Aft is a young newt.
00:12:01They rarely put nouns on the SAT.
00:12:06You knew that word, right?
00:12:08Of course. A young newt.
00:12:13I don't understand why you have to check out so early.
00:12:16I only get one Saturday morning per week, you know.
00:12:19Crime era, bro.
00:12:21I'm sorry.
00:12:23I'm sorry.
00:12:25I'm sorry.
00:12:27I'm sorry.
00:12:29I'm sorry.
00:12:31I'm sorry.
00:12:33Crime era, bro.
00:12:37Get off it, James.
00:12:40So why'd you try to jump the fence at the impoundment lot anyway?
00:12:43Where did you hear about the fence?
00:12:45Two people from school told me this morning.
00:12:47Can you please move to the passenger seat? I seriously doubt that sitting on the right makes you sick.
00:12:52If I vomit, we'll both look stupid.
00:12:56I remember when Mom used to drop me off at kindergarten on Brighton.
00:12:59You sat in the passenger seat then.
00:13:19What the hell are you doing here?
00:13:22Watching a documentary on snow apes.
00:13:25Hey, man.
00:13:27Hey, Jim.
00:13:28Good to see you, Charlie.
00:13:30Look like you had another growth spurt.
00:13:32No, I don't think so. Not since I saw you last. I'm too old for this.
00:13:36I would like an explanation. Why are you here?
00:13:39Vanessa said that you couldn't drive for six months, so I'm here to help.
00:13:44Yeah, he's pretty sure he's gonna move in and be a driver.
00:13:47Oh, I think I got the perfect score today.
00:13:50There was one tricky math one.
00:13:52Did it ever occur to you that I might not want you to drive me, let alone move in?
00:13:59It did occur to me, but Vanessa spoke to the insurance company and they're not going to pay for a chauffeur.
00:14:07And I already wrote a letter of complaint and I wrote a request for an appeal, so if I could just get your signature and I will fax it.
00:14:18I'm a little low on cash right now.
00:14:20I can't really afford to get my own apartment, so it's kind of a win-win situation.
00:14:26No, it's not a win-win situation. It might be, if you were even vaguely reliable.
00:14:34But you're not.
00:14:35There's a spare room upstairs. There's linens and towels.
00:14:42Thank you, Jim.
00:14:45Do you even have a valid driver's license?
00:14:50No.
00:14:56I need a ride to campus and we'll see you downstairs in five minutes.
00:15:00Oh, you got it.
00:15:20Okay.
00:15:38Make a left.
00:15:44We need someone with a national scholarly reputation and strong leadership experience.
00:15:49Thank you, Martin. I am honored to serve in the position.
00:15:52You heard?
00:15:55Word travels fast around here.
00:15:57Usually it's a pain in the butt to find someone to chair these search committees.
00:16:03I thought we were hiring from within the department. You told me we were hiring from within the department.
00:16:08Everyone else is so busy this semester. Serving papers, publishing.
00:16:13Have you read what they're publishing? Most of it's garbage.
00:16:17That's not very collegial.
00:16:19Well, neither is forcing me to chair this search committee, Martin. I am busy, too.
00:16:24When was the last time you attended a department meeting?
00:16:27When was the last time there was anything on the agenda worth discussing?
00:16:30I need you to do this.
00:16:32Bon appetit, Martin.
00:16:37Well, now that Roth has forced me to chair the search committee, I can't very well nominate myself, now can I?
00:16:42You should have had that position eight years ago. I mean, that was a travesty if I ever saw one.
00:16:46You were nine years old at the time.
00:16:48I will tell Roth that this injury is too much and it precludes me from heading the committee.
00:16:53Why do you even want to be head of the department?
00:16:55You don't like any of the other professors and you certainly don't like any of your students.
00:17:00You know, James, there was a time not too long ago when students were passionate about literature.
00:17:05Today students are only passionate about getting A's.
00:17:10Dick Cheney!
00:17:13His daughter was a lesbian.
00:17:16And while her partner is considered to be one of the family, they never allowed her on stage during the campaign.
00:17:22Okay, well, the point is, in 2000, Cheney was the chair of Bush's vice presidential search committee.
00:17:29You know, he nominated himself.
00:17:32Nominating myself seems rather unethical.
00:17:36It's the democratic process.
00:17:39If it can work for the vice president of America, it can work for you.
00:17:47I wanted to call you all together one last time before we were deep into final exams and we've received over 200 applications.
00:17:55Fewer than ten of the applications merit serious consideration.
00:17:59Based on what criteria?
00:18:01The criteria listed in the official university bylaws on faculty hires.
00:18:05When we did this before, we spent a few sessions devising a rubric for candidate evaluations.
00:18:11One based on more humanistic ideas.
00:18:15A few of the better applicants forgot to include copies of their student evaluations with their applications.
00:18:20Personally, I find the evaluations that students write about me utterly useless.
00:18:25It's mostly just speculation about my sexuality.
00:18:32Try not to blink.
00:18:34This is rather uncomfortable.
00:18:36Okay, we're set. Let's go home.
00:18:39How come my follow-up wasn't with Dr. Harnigan?
00:18:42That's because she's the head of the ER, not a neurologist like myself.
00:18:46You know, she's going to kill me for saying this, but she used to be a student of yours years ago.
00:18:53Oh, I have lots of students.
00:18:55I think she had a squirrel girl crush on effect.
00:19:00Oh, she did, did she?
00:19:02I don't know.
00:19:04What?
00:19:06Oh, she did, did she?
00:19:09We done?
00:19:10Yeah.
00:19:12Pleasure.
00:19:18Hi.
00:19:22How's your head? Did you see Dr. Strauss yet?
00:19:25Yes, everything is fine.
00:19:29I figured it out. You were my student.
00:19:36You must forgive me for not remembering the other night when they brought me into the ER.
00:19:46Did you lose weight?
00:19:48No, not at all.
00:19:50Same weight.
00:19:54Night.
00:19:58Night.
00:20:09What are you doing?
00:20:11Are these your mom's?
00:20:13Look how nice.
00:20:23You know, you should really make your bed. It sets the tone for the day.
00:20:27How do you know what tone I want to set, though?
00:20:37Don't you think it's kind of weird to keep dead people's clothes lying around?
00:20:42Yes.
00:20:44Dad's been saving them, and really not a good thing for him.
00:20:49If we donate them to Goodwill, we get a tax write-off.
00:20:54Which is great.
00:20:58You're a monster.
00:21:13May I give you a ride home?
00:21:15No, thank you. My adopted brother is supposed to pick me up.
00:21:20Are you sure? It's pretty cold.
00:21:28Okay, thank you.
00:21:30You're welcome.
00:21:58I won't hold my breath.
00:22:04Don't forget the taxi, sir.
00:22:06Right.
00:22:09You know, you can sit up front if you want.
00:22:12Oh, that's okay. I'm fine.
00:22:15I get nauseated if I ride on the right-hand side of the car.
00:22:22Uh, Dr. Strauss said I was fine.
00:22:26And I was wondering if you could call the DMV and have them repeal my driving restriction.
00:22:32That's not how it works.
00:22:38So, uh, what are you teaching this semester?
00:22:41I'm teaching two sections of, uh, on the Victorians.
00:22:45Do you like the Victorians?
00:22:47I used to.
00:22:52The Victorian novel, huh?
00:22:55How many times can you read Bleak House?
00:22:58Oh, you never tire of Bleak House. I can always find something new to say about it.
00:23:13Don't you have anything better to do?
00:23:16Don't you have anything better to do?
00:23:32You need to relax.
00:23:34Not you need to relax. I need to study.
00:23:41Oh, Jesus.
00:23:47Okay. Shut up and give it to me.
00:23:51If this gives me brain damage, I will kill you.
00:24:00Lupita is crying over Pedro, who's being abused by Manuel.
00:24:06She's doing with Manuel. You know, he's such a machismo.
00:24:10And, uh, she's gonna move in with Diego. He's, like, handsome and built.
00:24:18If your Spanish were better, you would see all of that.
00:24:33Thank you for driving me.
00:24:35Oh, you're welcome.
00:24:41This is your house, right?
00:24:45Yes.
00:24:59Wait, wait, wait.
00:25:05I've got this.
00:25:11Uh, would you like to have a face-to-face conversation sometime?
00:25:18We could finish our discussion of Victorian literature.
00:25:22We weren't really having a conversation about Victorian literature.
00:25:30I suppose I'd have to drive.
00:25:33I hadn't thought of that.
00:25:36How about Friday night at 7.30 for a face-to-face conversation?
00:25:41That would work.
00:25:45Okay, goodbye.
00:26:06I smell something burning.
00:26:10Maybe, uh, cannabis.
00:26:15Are you mad?
00:26:17I waited outside the, uh, medical center for, uh, eons.
00:26:22Where were you?
00:26:24Helping Vanessa with her Spanish.
00:26:28Lost track of time. Sorry.
00:26:36Where'd you get that?
00:26:39The closet.
00:26:41I told him Wellesley was a women's college.
00:26:44That's Caroline's sweatshirt.
00:26:46That, too. I told him that, too. I told him.
00:26:49It was Mom's sweatshirt.
00:26:53Take it off, please.
00:26:56Did it ever occur to you that I might, I might, I might, I might...
00:27:00Take it off, please.
00:27:02Did it ever occur to you that I might, I might be saving that sweatshirt?
00:27:07Hmm?
00:27:08Please don't rip it.
00:27:20I think he may have smelled the pot.
00:27:23I told him Wellesley is a women's college.
00:27:26God, what a narc.
00:27:56You know, we didn't just donate her clothes on a whim.
00:27:59We did it for your psychological well-being.
00:28:02Will you wait in the car?
00:28:12Let's see.
00:28:14Professor Weatherhold is a conceited d***head.
00:28:16An asshole. Unfair.
00:28:19Oh, here's one.
00:28:21What does it say?
00:28:22Professor Weatherhold is knowledgeable, but he doesn't impart that knowledge to his students.
00:28:26He barked information at us all semester,
00:28:28and then he complained when our papers did not measure up to his bizarre standards.
00:28:33I'll dig deeper.
00:28:39Hey, can we go to the mall tonight instead of this afternoon?
00:28:42There's like three games I want to watch.
00:28:44I can't go to the mall tonight.
00:28:46Why's that?
00:28:48I'm busy.
00:28:49Yeah, busy with what? I gotta go to the mall.
00:28:52I have an appointment.
00:28:54Really?
00:28:55Yes.
00:28:56With who?
00:28:58You're with none of your business.
00:29:00An appointment with whom?
00:29:01None of your business.
00:29:02I just want to know.
00:29:04God.
00:29:07Dr. Hardigan.
00:29:10I knew it.
00:29:11Good work.
00:29:13You spend $50 on dinner?
00:29:16That's grounds for intercourse with none of your business.
00:29:19Dad, if there are any romantic inklings, you're simply not ready.
00:29:23I mean, the socio-sexual mores have really shifted.
00:29:27And look, let's not forget the stigma attached to widowers.
00:29:32Widowers.
00:29:33At some point, the statute of limitations has got to run out on that.
00:29:36We're not talking about this anymore.
00:29:40Don't freak out and sabotage it like you always do.
00:29:43I don't always freak out and sabotage it.
00:29:46Yeah, well, this hospital is littered with men you've left in your wake.
00:29:49It's littered with men you've left in your wake, too.
00:29:52What are you doing?
00:29:54Nothing.
00:29:56Nothing, I'm just reading something. I'll call you back, okay?
00:30:09Okay.
00:30:24Hi.
00:30:25Hi there.
00:30:26How are you?
00:30:30What are you doing here?
00:30:32Excuse me?
00:30:35He's kind of a fragile guy.
00:30:38You know, he's not ready for this.
00:30:41He's fragile? What do you mean?
00:30:44You know, and he's quite predatory, actually.
00:30:48Have you forgotten about the Hippocratic oath you took about not fucking your patients?
00:30:54Your father's no longer my patient.
00:30:57Oh.
00:31:05Hi.
00:31:17We respond to literary texts using precisely the same fundamental interpretive categories
00:31:23as authors and poets used to create them.
00:31:26So there's no need to posit any kind of unstable ontology or ruptured consciousness.
00:31:31Are you following me?
00:31:33Something from the dessert menu?
00:31:34No, it's too late for coffee.
00:31:36It's, um, I'll tell you what.
00:31:39One piece of chocolate cake and two forks, two plates.
00:31:44So no one...
00:31:47...has ever looked at this process of cultural criticism through...
00:31:51Forty-five minutes.
00:31:53Excuse me?
00:31:55Forty-five minutes.
00:31:57That's how long it's been since I've uttered a single word.
00:32:01I mean, do you even know where I'm from?
00:32:03Where I grew up? Where I live? You know, anything about my family?
00:32:07What kind of day did I have?
00:32:09Well, if you actually did want to know, um,
00:32:12I was having a great day until about, um, 30 minutes ago when I realized you were going to shut up.
00:32:18In fact, you actually gave me a C in your course.
00:32:23You said my paper was sophomoric.
00:32:26I was a freshman.
00:32:28That's not what sophomoric means.
00:32:31No, see, I know that.
00:32:34The other night when I drove you home, I actually, I thought I saw a different side of you.
00:32:39Now I'm back to thinking you're the,
00:32:42you're the same pompous windbag who made me switch my major from English to Biology.
00:32:47Well, certainly an established physician is not harboring a resentment for a grade she received more than ten years ago.
00:32:54This was a mistake.
00:32:56Your daughter was right.
00:33:01It's probably better if you get a cab home.
00:33:17I take it by your presence here at 845 you did not get laid?
00:33:22Yeah, come in, unless it's Chuck.
00:33:27I'm back.
00:33:29My God.
00:33:34This is a good-sized room.
00:33:36Yeah, I'm pretty sure you've been in here before.
00:33:43You think I'm self-absorbed?
00:33:46Self-absorbed.
00:33:49I think self-absorption's underrated.
00:33:54I think everyone needs some compassion, some capacity for sympathy, empathy.
00:34:02Right.
00:34:04Dad, Teresa Sternbridge practically runs the soup kitchen.
00:34:09And she's always seen posing in photos with crack babies and dying old crusty ladies.
00:34:17And do you know why?
00:34:20She scored in the 45th percentile in her SAT.
00:34:26People like you and me don't need to compensate.
00:34:31You know, I'm glad you're home early. Physician wasn't good for you.
00:34:35Too young and kind of uncultured, like oh so many in the medical profession.
00:34:43Oh, I thought of the perfect new title for your book.
00:34:53Right?
00:34:55Goodnight.
00:34:57Bonsoir.
00:35:05Bonsoir.
00:35:35Running through the city in my head
00:35:41I shake the grass
00:36:05I shake the grass
00:36:22I shake the grass
00:36:36What are you doing here?
00:36:39That gurney was sterile.
00:36:42I re-read your essay.
00:36:46And at first I considered giving it a higher grade, but then I decided that the C should stick.
00:36:54Do you honestly think that I care about a grade I received when I was a freshman in college?
00:36:59I mean, I admit that the paper, as you originally wrote, lacks a clear focus and rambles like a bad folk song.
00:37:05But I read it again the other day and its thesis is really quite good.
00:37:13I should have been more diplomatic and less pompous as your professor and as your dinner date.
00:37:21True.
00:37:23I'm just out of practice.
00:37:25Well, usually you're better at masking your pomposity.
00:37:29Could we give this face-to-face conversation one more try?
00:37:39I haven't been on a date in a while.
00:37:47We'd have to drive again, I suppose.
00:37:55Yeah.
00:38:04Merry Christmas!
00:38:25Fuck.
00:38:37It's clever of you to reserve the same table.
00:38:40Oh, I wanted to make sure that I had an authentic second chance.
00:38:49Would you like to start with some wine?
00:38:51Well, I'm on call tonight, so I can't drink.
00:38:55You're on call?
00:38:57Yeah.
00:38:59So this date may end at any moment?
00:39:02Well, if I'm paged, yes.
00:39:04I could come back in a minute.
00:39:05No, no, it's okay. It's okay. I will have the lobster and a house salad and the house dressing on the side, please.
00:39:11One for you, sir?
00:39:12Oh, yes, the clock is ticking.
00:39:14I'm going to have the cod and house salad, house dressing on the side.
00:39:32I'm sorry I called you an arrogant windbag the other night.
00:39:35You called me a pompous windbag.
00:39:39So have you heard back yet from any of the publishers about your book?
00:39:43Did you ever tell me where you're from?
00:39:47Well, how long ago did you send it?
00:39:49A few weeks ago.
00:39:51What did your parents do?
00:39:54What are you doing?
00:39:55What do you mean?
00:39:56I'm asking you about the book.
00:39:58Yes, and I'm not taking the bait, am I?
00:40:02Come on, I'm interested in the book.
00:40:04It's been rejected by a few publishers.
00:40:14Actually, it's been rejected by everyone, so...
00:40:19Rejection is tough.
00:40:22It can scar you for life.
00:40:25But you can rewrite it. You can, you know, send it out again, can't you?
00:40:35It's about time.
00:40:42Stem cell research, the wrong choice.
00:40:45That's some real riveting shit there.
00:40:47You young republicans really know how to party.
00:40:49Bet you guys are a lot of fun on Friday nights.
00:40:51I have fun.
00:40:53You're at a Hitler youth rally the first night of Christmas break.
00:40:57My fun's just a little more cerebral than yours.
00:40:59Come on.
00:41:01My fun's just a little more cerebral than yours.
00:41:03Come on.
00:41:04When's the last time you did something bad or subversive, huh?
00:41:08Like a normal teenager.
00:41:10Do you know what you're doing?
00:41:12Jesus.
00:41:13I bet you never cheated or stole anything or jaywalked.
00:41:18Well, I've smoked pot with my perverted uncle.
00:41:22Okay, that was because I coerced you.
00:41:25You didn't do that of your own volition.
00:41:27You know what?
00:41:28You're really in jeopardy of becoming a 17-year-old robot.
00:41:31Okay, shut up, because you really don't know me.
00:41:35I actually got accepted to Stanford two weeks ago.
00:41:41Really?
00:41:43But Carnegie Mellon is free for you,
00:41:45and Stanford's, I don't know, $600, $700 a year.
00:41:49$40,000, actually.
00:41:53Well, your father is going to kill you,
00:41:56but for the time being, I'm filled with pride.
00:42:01Come on, little mermaid.
00:42:04Let's go celebrate.
00:42:16So if you think older, you'll appear older.
00:42:20And I want you to grab that table.
00:42:23I'm going to get a pitcher of beer.
00:42:38Keep your eye out.
00:42:40There's a guy over there that used to be a woman.
00:42:42Out on the town with Grandpa?
00:42:44Fuck off.
00:42:46You seem like nice girls.
00:42:50I wouldn't want to rush you.
00:42:53Lose you, but you do know
00:42:57Cause I love, love, love
00:43:00That's disgusting.
00:43:02That is disgusting.
00:43:08You must miss your wife.
00:43:11Hmm.
00:43:13I'm sorry I shouldn't be so direct.
00:43:15If my wife, Carolina, were here right now,
00:43:19she'd be telling me to stop pitying myself.
00:43:23She was a lovely, funny, intelligent woman,
00:43:27and she'd want you to know it.
00:43:30But she'd also advise me
00:43:33not to talk about my dead wife
00:43:35on a date with a beautiful woman.
00:43:42And she'd be wondering
00:43:45when I was going to get around to kissing you.
00:43:53I wouldn't want to rush you
00:43:56Lose you, but you
00:43:59I wouldn't want to rush you
00:44:02Lose you, but you
00:44:05Know that I love, love, love you
00:44:10Love, love, love
00:44:13Know that I love, love, love you
00:44:17Love, love, love you
00:44:20What is it like being stupid?
00:44:24It's like sitting alone at lunch every day.
00:44:27It sucks.
00:44:30Come with me.
00:44:44I'm, uh, not used to condoms,
00:44:49but I thought it went okay.
00:44:54Very nice.
00:44:57Yeah.
00:44:59Because I just don't want to blow it with you.
00:45:05Do you have any plans for Christmas?
00:45:13Will you excuse me for a minute?
00:45:21Because my daughter, Vanessa, makes quite a spread.
00:45:26Because my daughter, Vanessa, makes quite a spread.
00:45:57I was just paged.
00:46:04I haven't been up this late in years.
00:46:07If this were a book, it'd start with a line
00:46:12I once knew a man
00:46:15I was his and he was mine
00:46:19So predictable, so confused
00:46:25I'm at a loss for words to explain my mood
00:46:32I stitched this poem to the bottom of my dress
00:46:40La, la, la, la, la
00:46:50La, la, la, la, la
00:47:00He hates me, you know?
00:47:03Mm-hmm.
00:47:05Brooke hates me. Everybody hates me.
00:47:08If you tell people they're stupid,
00:47:11they'll usually hate you.
00:47:15I completely changed my mind when you first came.
00:47:30You're all right.
00:47:32She'll like me now.
00:47:34I like you now.
00:47:36Vanessa!
00:47:39Come on!
00:47:41I adopted.
00:47:43It's nice.
00:47:45It'll look old.
00:47:48I just want to fuck that trashy waitress.
00:47:51Eh, that's none of your business.
00:47:53You're drunk, and you're 17, and you're my niece.
00:47:57My shoe.
00:47:58Great idea.
00:48:00Giving me beer.
00:48:04Come on.
00:48:08Hey, you.
00:48:10Are you drunk?
00:48:15Did you get her drunk?
00:48:17No.
00:48:18She seems drunk.
00:48:20She's drunk.
00:48:26How was your date?
00:48:30How was your date?
00:48:33You're a giant toddler.
00:48:37Mom and Dad did you absolutely no favors allowing you to become
00:48:41the immature scam artist that you are.
00:49:00I'm sorry.
00:49:03I'm sorry.
00:49:06I'm sorry.
00:49:29Oh, Vanessa.
00:49:31Did anyone call me today?
00:49:34Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:49:36Yeah, a telemarketer.
00:49:37It was a man.
00:49:39You're acting very desperate.
00:49:47Hi, God.
00:49:51Will you stop avoiding me?
00:49:54I was drunk.
00:49:57I'm not avoiding you.
00:49:59I just need some time alone, please.
00:50:48Uh-huh.
00:50:50Sorry to give you yet another message,
00:50:52but I realize that you may not have my phone number in that.
00:50:55That's why you haven't called me back.
00:50:57I think my phone number is 412-255-0199.
00:51:03412-255.
00:51:12Didn't you prove the other night that you can't hold your alcohol?
00:51:16I'm having one glass more on.
00:51:19And I chose this Beaujolais specifically to go with the ham.
00:51:34Neither of you is old enough to be drinking.
00:51:42Dude, let's all just get drunk.
00:51:46I need something to wash down this rubber ham.
00:51:48Actually, I downloaded the recipe from the Internet.
00:51:52I translated it from Old French.
00:51:55It dates all the way back to Louis XIV,
00:51:58and he was the one that actually decided dishes should be served in courses
00:52:02because before that it was served as this big pile of food and...
00:52:06Maybe you messed up the translation, and that's why it tastes like burnt tires.
00:52:10Well, if you'd like, I could jam that up your ass for you.
00:52:13It's nothing.
00:52:15Enough.
00:52:20Well, this is cheerful.
00:52:22Shut up.
00:52:24Who would think to interrupt this perfect Christmas dinner?
00:52:33Hi.
00:52:35Hi.
00:52:37You're the doctor girlfriend, right?
00:52:39You're the adopted brother, right?
00:52:42Well, you don't appear to be boring.
00:52:45Well, you've just met me.
00:52:47For all you know, I'm quite boring.
00:52:49You've presented yourself here uninvited and unannounced for Christmas dinner.
00:52:53That is not boring.
00:52:55And the cake?
00:52:57Lexotonin. That's an antidepressant.
00:53:00I stole it from the break room.
00:53:03Am I interrupting anything?
00:53:05No. Welcome.
00:53:07We could use a little antivenom in the snake pit.
00:53:09Thank you very much.
00:53:11Let's move along. Thank you.
00:53:13Hi.
00:53:15Hi. Merry Christmas.
00:53:17Merry Christmas.
00:53:19Hi.
00:53:21Hi. Merry Christmas.
00:53:23Merry Christmas.
00:53:37A woman prodigy.
00:53:41Hello?
00:53:45Vanessa!
00:53:47Fish on a plate.
00:54:13Hi.
00:54:14What a generous portion.
00:54:16Enjoy.
00:54:17Well, Vanessa here is the perfect little housewife.
00:54:19I mean, daughter.
00:54:20Oh, yes. If by perfect you mean not retarded
00:54:23slash suffering from insurmountable credit card debt,
00:54:26then yes, I am indeed perfect.
00:54:29Would you two please stop bickering?
00:54:32These children haven't been properly parented in many years.
00:54:35That's why I was brought in.
00:54:37To ensure that they don't kill each other.
00:54:41Merry Christmas.
00:54:47Please.
00:54:51So much depends upon a red wheelbarrow.
00:54:55William Carlos Williams.
00:54:57He was a physician.
00:54:59Yes, I know that.
00:55:02Many considered him to be an imagist,
00:55:05but he was really more of a modernist,
00:55:07eschewing the poetic traditions of Europe
00:55:09in favor of celebrating everyday circumstances.
00:55:13But I digress.
00:55:17I like suburban Pittsburgh for Christmas.
00:55:20Yes.
00:55:22It's really glamorous.
00:55:24You're a Paris of the Western Pennsylvania.
00:55:32I'm really glad that you stopped by.
00:55:43I just saw Dad in the physician kissing in the den.
00:55:47I am going to puke.
00:55:49Why does physical affection bother you so much?
00:55:52It doesn't, actually.
00:55:54Well, you're not the only one who deserves to have a little fun.
00:55:57And what's your point?
00:55:59I saw you both at your brothels, drunk.
00:56:01I saw you too.
00:56:03I saw you too, man. Bravo.
00:56:06Bravo.
00:56:12I am proud that we whittled it down to these three so quickly.
00:56:16I have another candidate in mind.
00:56:19Who?
00:56:21Me.
00:56:23Can you apply? You're the chair of the committee.
00:56:27Yes, I am permitted to apply.
00:56:30It's well within Carnegie Mellon's ethical codes of conduct.
00:56:34It's part of the democratic process.
00:56:43But now is a new day.
00:56:46Oh, damn it.
00:56:48Do you know what it's meaning?
00:56:50You drove yourself away from the church.
00:56:54When I come back, you better have a word on that board.
00:56:58Vanessa, this phone is for emergencies only.
00:57:02I didn't want to call you at her apartment.
00:57:05I just, like, are you coming home for dinner?
00:57:08Because Chuck's gone and I'm the only one here.
00:57:11I'm eating here tonight.
00:57:13Oh, that's just fantastic.
00:57:16What am I supposed to do with the beef stroganoff that I made?
00:57:19And the garlic whipped potatoes.
00:57:22I'm going to be home in a few hours.
00:57:24Could you save me a little bit?
00:57:26Just a place.
00:57:34This is Lance Weatherholt.
00:57:37Um, who is this?
00:57:39This is Deb Rosenblatt from the Penguin Group.
00:57:42Mr. Bloomberg would really like your manuscript
00:57:44and he would like to meet you in New York.
00:57:46Well, I'm sorry.
00:57:49Well, it is a very interesting concept, isn't it?
00:57:58Yeah, I always wondered who littered the world with those.
00:58:02Where have you been? I haven't seen you like all week.
00:58:05I've been busy.
00:58:07I don't want you to feel uncomfortable around me, okay?
00:58:10I completely respect your homosexuality
00:58:13and I will refrain from any further untoward advances.
00:58:18Truth be told, I've started dating someone.
00:58:21Someone my own age.
00:58:23What's his name?
00:58:27Her name...
00:58:30is none of your business.
00:58:32I won't be staying at her apartment a couple of nights a week.
00:58:36So does she know you're gay?
00:58:41I don't think that you and I should be hanging out as much.
00:58:44Well, that's just...
00:58:46it's idiotic.
00:58:48I mean, who am I supposed to hang out with?
00:58:50I just think that we both need to, you know, get a life.
00:58:54My life begins when I set foot in California next fall.
00:59:01The cab was $9.
00:59:03Well, I'll pay you back.
00:59:07Well...
00:59:09they're publishing my book.
00:59:11What?
00:59:13Who the fuck's going to read that?
00:59:15Bloomberg. I knew it. I so knew it!
00:59:18Well, when are we going to meet with them?
00:59:21Ah, you have school.
00:59:23So I'm taking Janet and flying to New York on Monday.
00:59:34You have school.
00:59:37You have school.
00:59:46So I sort of met somebody.
00:59:49I was kind of hoping you could flood me some greenbacks.
00:59:52Get my own apartment.
00:59:55You know, more and more, I'm getting used to you.
01:00:00I need you here.
01:00:02So...
01:00:04No.
01:00:10There was a twinkle of humanity in there.
01:00:34It's almost ten. I need to leave.
01:00:50Good luck. Knock them dead.
01:00:55Does this suit make me look too eager?
01:00:58How can a suit make anyone look too eager?
01:01:04Wish me luck.
01:01:06I just did. Go already. You're starting to make me nervous.
01:01:11Goodbye.
01:01:20At first, I thought it was the driest piece of shit I'd ever read.
01:01:24What?
01:01:25Well, I got to the third section where I noticed a certain marketable tone.
01:01:29The surly, smarter-than-now-asshole tone.
01:01:32People love to hate books like this.
01:01:34NPR will attack the book immediately,
01:01:36and before you know it, you'll be defending yourself on Charlie Rose.
01:01:40That's...
01:01:42not the point of the book.
01:01:44I understand your hesitancy, but when was the last time a senior editor edited?
01:01:49Actually edited.
01:01:51We spent the entire staff meeting last week talking about it.
01:01:54The marketing guys loved it. Two junior editors loved it.
01:01:57It's almost like the book itself is a fucking bully.
01:02:03You can't read.
01:02:07You can't read.
01:02:09Brilliant.
01:02:33Shit.
01:02:56Hey.
01:02:58Hey.
01:03:01Hey.
01:03:02Hi.
01:03:04Well, how'd it go?
01:03:07Great.
01:03:09They love me over there. It's going to be a very important book.
01:03:14Well, you seem happy.
01:03:17Wait, wait, wait. Don't open that yet. What did he say about the book?
01:03:20Well, it's, um...
01:03:21They've edited it significantly, but it's much better.
01:03:25It's intelligent, but very contrary.
01:03:28It's powerful and inflammatory. It's...
01:03:33Well, how much did they edit it?
01:03:36Well, Penguin has, uh...
01:03:38They've edited thousands of books.
01:03:40And, uh, there comes a time when you have to let the experts be experts.
01:03:45I know you're honestly okay with the changes.
01:03:47Well, uh, Bloomberg wants to, uh...
01:03:51take us out to dinner.
01:03:54But I thought you and I were going out for a quiet dinner tonight.
01:03:57They want to take us out. It's, it's...
01:04:00He's my editor.
01:04:03And I'm your, um...
01:04:07What am I to you?
01:04:10Well, for lack of a better term, you're my girlfriend.
01:04:14What am I to you? Not just a term.
01:04:18I think you're, um...
01:04:20everything that a girlfriend is.
01:04:25You can't answer, can you?
01:04:28Hmm.
01:04:30I...
01:04:33Please, do you think we'd just get ready for dinner?
01:04:36No, you know what? I actually don't even feel that well.
01:04:38I couldn't, I couldn't go out tonight anyways.
01:04:42You should go. I'm gonna be fine.
01:04:47No! No, I hate you!
01:04:51Do you think your parents would control them?
01:04:54You've probably been stuck on a plane for hours.
01:04:56You should be encouraged to run around.
01:04:59The book's not published yet.
01:05:00You don't have to act like a complete misanthrope.
01:05:07What is with you?
01:05:09You're like a different person.
01:05:10No, Lawrence, I'm the same person.
01:05:12I've just noticed a few things.
01:05:14I can't, I can't win. I just...
01:05:16Call me a grouch. I just think that it's wrong
01:05:18to let kids run around an airport unsupervised.
01:05:22Where do you have children you'll understand?
01:05:25This isn't about unsupervised kids at an airport and you know it.
01:05:29Excuse me, sorry.
01:05:39You don't seem interested in anything other than your book
01:05:41or becoming head of the department.
01:05:43Then why don't you ask? Just try asking.
01:05:47Okay.
01:05:49What the hell is your problem?
01:05:51I don't want to talk about it right now.
01:05:57I have it.
01:06:03You don't seem very happy.
01:06:07I'm not happy.
01:06:09Not even close.
01:06:11Excuse me.
01:06:21I got it.
01:06:23My heart, not my soul.
01:06:26Cause I gave it away.
01:06:29There's a lesson I learned when the trust is gone.
01:06:32Love is gone.
01:06:45So, oh, I put some flowers on Mom's grave.
01:06:49A dozen or so pink and white roses.
01:06:53Kind of. It'll be $64.
01:06:56It's the 17th.
01:06:59I'm sorry.
01:07:01You know, it's not like Mom knew you weren't there.
01:07:04Besides, I'm a big girl. I can handle it.
01:07:11How are you?
01:07:14Maybe this weekend you and I could go ice skating like we used to.
01:07:21Dad, you just did a huge book deal
01:07:24and the head of the department is yours for the taking
01:07:27and everything's kind of perfect for you,
01:07:29so don't screw everything up, okay?
01:07:34You know, I read in Cosmopolitan
01:07:36that it takes about half the time you date someone to get over them
01:07:41and, you know, what, you dated Janet just for a few months?
01:07:44You read Cosmopolitan?
01:07:47I glanced at it.
01:07:49Like at the supermarket, you know, if the line's particularly long.
01:07:55You know that physician?
01:07:58She was just a rebound relationship, that's all.
01:08:02A rebound from what?
01:08:05From Mom.
01:08:11Yeah.
01:08:28Lawrence, congratulations on your book deal.
01:08:32And James' poem being accepted by the New Yorker.
01:08:36With Lawrence's book, it may seem like
01:08:38sending candidates to campus is a waste of time,
01:08:40but according to the bylaws, we have to.
01:08:43What about his recommendation letter?
01:08:45Lawrence, could you tell us about your book?
01:08:48It's an examination of critical theory
01:08:50from the standpoint that every school of criticism has failed us.
01:08:53I start out with a brief history of criticism and then I...
01:08:59Penguin Group seems to like it.
01:09:02Shit.
01:09:09Um...
01:09:11I heard about the New Yorker.
01:09:13Why didn't you tell me about the poem?
01:09:15I... I need to read it.
01:09:18You need to read it?
01:09:20Now that I sold a poem to the New Yorker,
01:09:22I'm suddenly worthy of your attention?
01:09:24What's wrong with the father wanting to hear about his son's success?
01:09:30What are those doing here?
01:09:33He left those here last night.
01:09:35Are you working for him now?
01:09:36No, I'm not working for him. He left it here last night.
01:09:38He left his sweater, too. Hold on.
01:09:45I thought that Chuck was staying at his girlfriend's.
01:09:47He doesn't have a girlfriend.
01:09:49He stays here a few nights every week to get away from you guys.
01:09:57You have no idea what's going on, do you?
01:10:06How's your head?
01:10:08Beach band.
01:10:17So, dinner will be ready at eight, if you're around.
01:10:21Those jeans look really great.
01:10:24And...
01:10:26They're really snug in all the right areas.
01:10:30Don't say things like that to me.
01:10:33Why? I'm just...
01:10:34Just don't.
01:10:43So, what is the lotus?
01:10:46Homer calls it a honey-sweet fruit,
01:10:48but for Tennyson it's not just a drug, is it?
01:10:52It symbolizes a desire for rest and death.
01:10:55What does it inspire in them?
01:10:57They're tired and they can't take it anymore.
01:11:00The lotus is about the possibility of oblivion.
01:11:03What your cliff notes may not have mentioned is that
01:11:06the eating of the lotus occasions a song.
01:11:09I didn't use cliff notes.
01:11:11Use spark notes or rhythm, too.
01:11:13So, where does their singing lead them?
01:11:15Singing lets them imagine their way out of their misery.
01:11:22Since they can't go home,
01:11:24they sing of home as the place where all the suffering is.
01:11:29Song becomes the doleful music of the miserable world
01:11:33they no longer occupy then.
01:11:36They just sit around listening to it,
01:11:40drink a nectar and stuff.
01:11:59Hey, Lawrence, I got a minute.
01:12:01Can I read you something?
01:12:03In all my years of schooling,
01:12:05I've never encountered a professor
01:12:07as deeply passionate about his subject
01:12:09as Professor Weatherholt was
01:12:11back when I took his Victorian novel course as a freshman.
01:12:13He pushed us hard, but he believed in us
01:12:15and helped us become strong, close readers
01:12:17and critical writers, skills I brought to my study of medicine
01:12:20sincerely, Janet Hartigan, M.D.
01:12:29Professor Weatherholt, I have a simple question.
01:12:34Why do you want to be head of the English department?
01:12:39I've been thinking about that quite a bit lately.
01:12:42As head of the department, how do you plan on rectifying
01:12:45the systematic subjugation of women in this institution?
01:12:48Oh, Julia, I haven't even vaguely considered that,
01:12:51nor do I plan to.
01:12:53You know what?
01:12:55None of you like me, and I don't blame you.
01:12:58I would make a lousy head of the department.
01:13:01What this department needs is someone who likes to manage people,
01:13:05who can make small talk, and that's...
01:13:09I can't do that. That's not me.
01:13:12I can't do it.
01:13:17Sorry I wasted your time.
01:13:19Sorry I wasted your time.
01:13:26I'll just stick to teaching for now.
01:13:35So where's your girlfriend?
01:13:37Been hiding out here?
01:13:40See you, Charles.
01:13:43Everyone in my life is going crazy.
01:13:47You're the one that's crazy.
01:13:50And socially retarded.
01:13:52You're the middle-aged man who was just toasting a college beer bash.
01:14:00You know, Vanessa's becoming an android.
01:14:04A scary clone.
01:14:06No friends.
01:14:08No friends.
01:14:10Too scared to be anything else.
01:14:13Just like you.
01:14:17And you constantly take her for granted.
01:14:19I do not take her for granted.
01:14:21I am continually impressed by her.
01:14:24Did you know she was going to Stanford?
01:14:27Early acceptance last November.
01:14:31Why didn't she tell me?
01:14:33Why does she have to?
01:14:36Why don't you ask?
01:14:41You drove the hot doctor out of your life.
01:14:44She left me.
01:14:46She can't handle my success.
01:14:48We're just not compatible.
01:14:50You have the IQ of a dumbass aunt.
01:14:58But you know what? Maybe it's not going to be so bad.
01:15:01Vanessa's going away in the fall.
01:15:03It'll just be the two of us.
01:15:05The weather-holed bachelors.
01:15:08Middle-aged.
01:15:10Can't get along with women.
01:15:12Should be gay.
01:15:27What are you doing here?
01:15:29If you've come to tell me that I can't go to Stanford, then you can just forget it.
01:15:32I don't care. I don't care if it's free.
01:15:34I am not going to the same school as James.
01:15:36He sold a poem to the New Yorker.
01:15:39You cretins win the lottery sometimes.
01:15:49I won't be head of the department.
01:15:54I pulled myself out of the search.
01:15:56Insane.
01:15:58What are you trying to do to me?
01:16:00Blacks.
01:16:01My book.
01:16:03That dumbed-down, gimmicky travesty of scholarship will pay for Stanford.
01:16:09Satisfied?
01:16:19What's going on between you and Chuck?
01:16:24Nothing.
01:16:27It just...
01:16:29Miscommunication.
01:16:31Simple case of middle-aged loser trying to seduce his much younger, bound-for-success niece.
01:16:42I don't think you're very happy, Vanessa.
01:16:46Well, you're not happy.
01:16:51And you're my role model.
01:16:59I'm sorry.
01:17:09You know what? I've had a monumentally shitty day.
01:17:12You hate me, I get it. End of discussion.
01:17:22I don't hate you.
01:17:25I don't really get it.
01:17:27I don't get that you spend the first few months trying to win me over, which you do,
01:17:32and then make up some fake girlfriend and completely ditch me.
01:17:39Well, that's not entirely the whole story, is it?
01:17:50Not really, I guess.
01:17:55You know, when I moved in, I thought you were smart and funny.
01:18:02I'm sorry that you misunderstood that.
01:18:11But I'll let you get back to that.
01:18:14What are you going to do?
01:18:19Go in my room.
01:18:22Go in my room.
01:18:25Do 1,000 push-ups.
01:18:27Wow.
01:18:29What are you going to do with your life?
01:18:32Are you going to sell phone cards or...
01:18:34Right.
01:18:37It is pretty good money.
01:18:40But I know what you mean.
01:18:45You know, I like my life.
01:18:52Yeah, we're like friends, I guess, right?
01:19:00Yeah, we're friends.
01:19:22Can you make me something to eat, friend?
01:19:24Order pizza with the works.
01:19:51If only the scars would disappear
01:19:55Horrible surgery
01:19:57Hold on.
01:19:59If only we could have seen the smoke
01:20:03Simple warning
01:20:07If only we loved us like we are
01:20:10Hold on.
01:20:11I want, I want that.
01:20:16May I have the tax receipt?
01:20:22Yeah.
01:20:33Thanks, bro.
01:20:34It's starting to get a little cold out here.
01:20:46You sat on the right side and you didn't throw up.
01:20:50Good work.
01:20:52Pull over, up here.
01:20:54Now remember, four words.
01:20:57I'm sorry, I love you.
01:20:59That's five words.
01:21:01This is no time to count words, professor.
01:21:08Hey!
01:21:11Don't forget!
01:21:13I'm sorry, I love you!
01:21:20I love you too, man!
01:21:23Hey, where are you going?
01:21:34May I sit down?
01:21:36Sure.
01:21:37How are you?
01:21:39I'm good.
01:21:41How are you?
01:21:42How's your book coming?
01:21:44Thank you for this.
01:21:50I didn't write it.
01:21:52You should check with Vanessa, she does good work.
01:21:54Although, the signature's not even close.
01:21:59I...
01:22:04This is humiliating. I'll see you.
01:22:06Wait, wait, wait.
01:22:10Wait.
01:22:12Listen, um...
01:22:15I haven't had any grand epiphany
01:22:18or made any sweeping changes in my personality
01:22:21over the past few weeks.
01:22:24I know I'm a miserable asshole,
01:22:27but I do have some hope for myself.
01:22:36Lawrence, I'm pregnant.
01:22:40And according to my calculations,
01:22:43this pregnancy is the result of the first time.
01:22:53Well, why didn't you tell me?
01:22:55Because you were being such an ass.
01:22:59You are not exactly a wellspring of emotional information.
01:23:08Why would you have a baby with me?
01:23:13Because you don't know how to properly use a condom.
01:23:20Message received.
01:23:34You're intelligent, right?
01:23:38I mean, you're not...
01:23:40You're not unattractive.
01:23:44I mean, it's not like it's a total genetic crapshoot.
01:23:51No, you do have some deficits.
01:23:57But you came here today.
01:24:03We can figure this out.
01:24:07We're smart people.
01:24:10We're smart people.
01:24:19I'm sorry. I love you.
01:24:29It's not up to you. It's not up to me.
01:24:39Sorry.
01:24:40Chuck, you stay, please.
01:24:45It's just that you have options, and you should be aware of all of them.
01:24:50Well, you have options too, Vanessa.
01:24:54And you can either continue to be miserable,
01:24:57or you can just stop being angry at everyone and accept the way things are.
01:25:02Allow yourself to live.
01:25:05You sound like a stupid motivational speaker.
01:25:12You're not listening to me.
01:25:16You're not.
01:25:28I am not cleaning any dirty diapers.
01:25:30I am not cleaning any dirty diapers.
01:25:32I am not cleaning any dirty diapers.
01:25:34I am not cleaning any dirty diapers.
01:25:36Good morning.
01:25:58Matthew Arnold, one of the writers that we'll be studying this semester, wrote that culture
01:26:02is the pursuit of our total perfection, the best which has been thought and said in the
01:26:12world.
01:26:13My name is Lawrence Weatherholt.
01:26:14You may call me Professor Weatherholt or Dr. Weatherholt, but you may not call me hey you
01:26:20or yo teach or dude, because none of these terms of address could possibly be the prelude
01:26:27to an intelligent comment or question.
01:26:30So let's get to know one another.
01:26:33Joseph Anderson.
01:26:34Joseph, where are you from?
01:26:56So you got to go, but you don't have to go.