Barry and Paul are brush salesmen for No Slacking and come to the house of Dr. Bonkers, Mad Scientist. It is a mess and Paul thinks they should tidy it up but then they discover the 'creature' lying on the slab. Dr. Bonkers needs a brain to bring it to life, or, as second best, whatever passes for a brain in Paul's head. Barry rings their boss to come and help, and the upshot is a monster who abhors slacking
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TVTranscript
00:00CH-CH-CHECKER VISION! CH-CH-CHECKER VISION! CH-CH-CHECKER VISION!
00:16You can rely on us. We're a real couple of smarties. In fact, we're so smart, it smarts. Isn't that right, Benny?
00:21It certainly is.
00:22We'll see about that.
00:24Right. What's this?
00:27Well, that's easy. It's a brush.
00:29No, it isn't.
00:30Yes, it is. I know a brush when I see one, and that's a brush. It's a brush.
00:34Only a fool would call this brush a brush.
00:37Fool? Well, what is it, then?
00:39Well, it's a... hedgehog on a stick?
00:42No, it isn't. And neither is it a brush.
00:45This is a Better Bristol Brush Company brush. This is what you'll be selling.
00:49Have you only got the one? It's not going to take us long to sell one brush.
00:53What he means is it's not going to take us long to sell one Better Bristol Brush Company brush.
00:58This is just a sample.
01:00I thought you said it was a Better Bristol Brush Company brush.
01:03It is. But when you go out, you'll have a complete range of our magnificent brushware with you.
01:09And all you've got to remember is that the public want what you've got, and it's up to you to let them have it.
01:15Don't you worry. We'll let them have it, won't we, Benny?
01:17We certainly will.
01:19That's what I like to hear. Now then, let's have a look at you.
01:22Hands!
01:23Knees and boots say Daisy.
01:27Show me your hands.
01:29We've got four of them between us.
01:31Good.
01:32Trousers?
01:34Fine.
01:35Shoes?
01:37Good.
01:38Other foot?
01:43Excellent.
01:45Now then, I'm going to have to check your particulars.
01:47You're not.
01:49I am.
01:50You're not.
01:51I am.
01:52Are you?
01:53Yes. You know, your references.
01:55Oh, why didn't you say so?
01:56I did.
01:57You didn't.
01:58I did.
01:59Did you?
02:00Yes.
02:01You must mean the letters.
02:02Oh, right.
02:03There you are.
02:05Are these letters from all the places you've worked?
02:08No.
02:09Thank heavens for that.
02:11There's these as well.
02:14Just a minute. These are all written by the same person. You.
02:19Well, that's because we were fully self-employed.
02:21You must have been, writing these.
02:24Never mind. I'll check them later.
02:26In the meantime, pick up your brushes and go forth.
02:30We can't go forth. There's only two of us.
02:32We could go tooth.
02:33Come on.
02:34And remember, no slacking.
02:39What's the matter with you? Are you trying to get us sacked before we even start?
02:42All I said was that we should...
02:43Never mind what you said. You can carry that.
02:49Paul.
02:50What?
02:51Shouldn't there be something on this handle?
02:52Oh, no.
02:53Must have left it inside. You go and fetch it.
02:55Why me? You left it.
02:57I can't go in. I've got to read up on my salesmanship.
03:00I thought you might have to.
03:13I forgot the case.
03:24Right. This is just the job.
03:26Is it?
03:27Yes. According to my book on salesmanship,
03:29this is the very kind of street we're looking for.
03:31Good. I'll get busy then.
03:32Where are you going?
03:33I'm going to sell some brushes.
03:34It's not as easy as that.
03:36You can't just go walking up to any old house and ring the doorbell.
03:39Of course you can't.
03:40Of course you can't.
03:41I'll go to a new one and use the knocker.
03:42No, no, no, no, no. I don't mean that.
03:44What do you mean then?
03:45Well, for example, look at that house over there.
03:47What about it?
03:48Well, it's a bit old.
03:50For example, look at that house over there.
03:52What about it?
03:53Well, that's so well kept, they've obviously got loads of brushes already.
03:56Have they?
03:57Yes. And that house over there, they've obviously got no brushes at all.
04:01So which one would you choose?
04:02This one over here.
04:04Why?
04:05They've probably used up all the brushes and they'll need some new ones.
04:07And it's not as far to walk.
04:08Wrong. We'll use that one over there because they probably need some.
04:11Come on.
04:13Hey, just a minute, Paul. It says no trespassers.
04:16Come on.
04:36Come on.
04:43Come on.
04:49The house is owned by a mad professor.
04:51You've got no idea, have you?
04:53That sign there probably means a psychiatrist.
04:55Just leave it to me.
05:01Where are you going?
05:02Leaving it to you.
05:03Come back here.
05:04What are you scared of?
05:05Whatever you've got.
05:07Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
05:22Get off!
05:23Get off!
05:24What do you think you're doing?
05:25I can't help it. I've got this feeling I'm being watched.
05:28I've got these icy fingers up my spine.
05:30Well, you should have worn your gloves then. Now behave yourself.
05:33See? This is a perfect opportunity to demonstrate our products.
05:36Now go and get a sample case. I'll see if I can find anybody.
05:39OK, but I still don't like it.
05:43Hello?
05:45I'd rather say goodbye.
05:47Will you go and get her stuff?
05:58I still don't like it.
06:02I've got to get her stuff.
06:28Hello?
06:30Hello?
06:32Oh, dear, oh, dear.
06:34About time for...
06:35Ah!
06:36I think I've gone over all unnecessary.
06:38Oh!
06:40Be careful. I've got an ingrowing toenail.
06:42Sorry.
06:43Is anybody about?
06:44No, but come and see what I've found.
06:49Wait for me.
06:51Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
07:03Oh!
07:08Cor!
07:09What do you think?
07:10I think it's a mess.
07:11No, it's not.
07:12A mess is a place where soldiers eat their dinner.
07:14This is a laboratory.
07:15Well, they should have had a sign on the door.
07:17Somebody could have been using it.
07:18Laboratory.
07:19Oh.
07:23It's all mucky.
07:24Of course it is.
07:25Lucky for us.
07:26How do you mean?
07:27Well, it gives us a perfect opportunity to demonstrate our products.
07:30How?
07:31We can clean the place up.
07:32Make it all spick and span for the owners.
07:34That way they're sure to buy a brush.
07:36Yes.
07:37A better bristle brush up and a bit of elbow grease.
07:39You can start over there.
07:40Me?
07:41Yes, you.
07:42Why me?
07:43I'm here in a supervisory capacity.
07:44What's that make me?
07:45Head of brushes.
07:46Oh, I've never been a brush head before.
07:48There's always a first time for everything.
07:49Right, get on with it.
07:50I want to surprise the owners.
07:53As long as they don't surprise us.
07:55Get on with it.
07:56Oh!
07:57What's that?
07:58It's me.
07:59I just banged my head on this thing.
08:01Hey!
08:02I know what this is.
08:03It's a ladies' beauty salon.
08:05This is a hair dryer.
08:06It gets better.
08:07With all that hair on the floor, they're sure to need our brushes.
08:10I can't see any hair.
08:11I just want to go.
08:12Well, you should have gone before you come.
08:14Now get on with your dusting.
08:17You be careful.
08:18You be careful.
08:20That's enough of that.
08:23Achoo!
08:24Bless you.
08:25Bless me what?
08:26You sneezed.
08:27No, I didn't.
08:28It must have been you.
08:29It wasn't me.
08:30I haven't had a cold in me life.
08:31Yes, you have.
08:32You had one last week.
08:33Oh, yeah.
08:34Hang on.
08:35That wasn't a cold in me life.
08:36That was a cold in me nose.
08:37Course it was, silly me.
08:39Silly you.
08:41Just a minute.
08:42If you didn't sneeze, and I didn't sneeze,
08:46then who did sneeze?
08:49Achoo!
08:58It's a gentleman.
08:59Oh, dear.
09:00Oh, dear.
09:01Oh, dear.
09:02I know what this is.
09:03It's a man having a rest after his beauty treatment.
09:06Beauty treatment?
09:07That's right.
09:08It hasn't worked.
09:10Hang on.
09:11I don't think this is a man at all.
09:13This is a robot.
09:14That's it.
09:15I'm off.
09:16My horoscope said keep away from tall, dark robots.
09:18What's the matter with you?
09:19It's spooky.
09:20It reminds me of that monster film special I saw on telly last week.
09:23It was about these two fellas called Frank and Stein.
09:26They made this monster out of bits and pieces,
09:28and they used electricity from lightning.
09:30Lightning.
09:31Lightning.
09:32Frightening.
09:33Anyway, that can't happen here.
09:34Why not?
09:35Well, a monster's got to have a brain to come to life,
09:38and this has definitely got no brain at all.
09:40It's not the only one.
09:41Hey, watch it.
09:44Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
09:47Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
09:57Hey, I can hear a heartbeat.
10:00It's probably mine.
10:01I think we should get out of here before he wakes up.
10:03We can always come back later.
10:05Well, taking everything into consideration,
10:07and weighing up the pros and cons,
10:09I think you're right.
10:10Come on.
10:11Ah!
10:12Ah, I've been captivated!
10:13Well, I'll get it off.
10:14Oh, no!
10:15Help!
10:16Help!
10:17Ah!
10:18Ah!
10:19Ah!
10:20Ah!
10:21Ah!
10:22Ah!
10:23Ah!
10:24Ah!
10:26Ah!
10:27Ah!
10:28Ah!
10:29Ah!
10:30Get off!
10:31Get the case!
10:32Where is it?
10:34Thank you very much.
10:35Ah!
10:36Ah!
10:37Ah!
10:38Ah!
10:39Ah!
10:40Quick!
10:41Quick!
10:42Quick!
10:47Oh!
10:48I thought we'd had it there.
10:49Where?
10:50There.
10:51Come on, let's get out of here.
10:52Right.
10:53Ah!
10:54Ah!
10:55Ah!
10:56Ah!
10:57What are you laughing at?
10:58I'm not laughing, and neither is he.
11:00Keep him talking while I think of something.
11:02How are you?
11:03I'm Barry and you are?
11:04Bonkers!
11:05Oh!
11:06Oh, no!
11:07Ah!
11:08Ah!
11:09Help!
11:10Barry!
11:11Help!
11:12Barry!
11:13I wish somebody would help Barry!
11:14Can you hold that, please?
11:15Come on.
11:24Phew! That was close. I wonder if his first name's Raven.
11:33Yes. Stark, Raven. Bonkers.
11:36Opie! And Bar, Bar. Black Sheep.
11:39Ah!
11:40Ah!
11:41The other one.
11:42Ha-ha! Ha-ha!
11:43Ha-ha!
11:44That's him!
11:51Cuckoo! That's funny! So am I!
12:08Oh, dear! I've let fall!
12:36You won't get away with this. Barry's probably fetching help right now.
12:40By the time help arrives, it'll be too late.
12:43They laughed at me when I said I was making a robotic housekeeper.
12:47Yeah, they laughed, all right.
12:50Ha-ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
12:53My invention will revolutionise the cleaning industry.
12:55And I only need one part of the jigsaw to make it all complete.
13:00Hey, well, let me go, then. I'll help you find it.
13:02I'm very good at jigsaws. I'm the brains of the outfit.
13:06Charming.
13:07Strange, but very apt that you should mention brains.
13:12For it's your brain that's the final part I've been waiting for to complete my task.
13:16Me brain?
13:17Yes. Beggars can't be choosers.
13:19Anyway, I only want half of it.
13:22You can't take half my brain. You'll make me a half-wit.
13:25You've done that yourself already.
13:27I need the part of your brain that makes you walk around.
13:30You can't do that.
13:31I'll have to sit around in a chair all day and be weighted on hand and foot.
13:36That's probably correct.
13:37Hmm. On second thoughts, I might stand in the way of medical science.
13:41Do your best.
13:42Oh, good.
13:43Now, where is my flutter modulator?
13:46Oh-ho-ho!
13:47Oh, dear. I'd better get some help.
13:59Hello.
14:00It's Barry here. I'm at 66 Ego Avenue and if you don't come round straight away,
14:08the owner of the house is going to make Paul a half-wit.
14:10Tell him to make one for you while he's at it.
14:12Oh, very well. I'm on me way.
14:15Oh, and by the way, I've just been checking your references
14:19and I want a word with you two anyway.
14:22So until I get there, remember, no slacking.
14:27Hello?
14:29Hello?
14:31Very nice.
14:34Where is it?
14:36I can't do it without my flutter modulator.
14:40It was here on the panel.
14:49The flutter modulator.
14:51Is this what you're looking for? Barry! My flutter modulator!
15:06Oh, give it to me! I need it to tap his brain with.
15:11If I can find it to tap. Microsurgery was never my strong point.
15:16Perhaps yours is more suitable.
15:20Perhaps this wasn't such a good idea.
15:31The flutter modulator. My life means nothing without it.
15:35Give it to me!
15:38Barry! To me! To you, Bob!
15:40Oh, to you! To me! To you!
15:43To me! To you! To me!
15:45To you, Bob! To me!
15:47To me! To you! To me! To you!
15:55I think we'd better be going. He wants my brain.
15:57Why don't you let him have it? You don't use it much.
16:00I told you there was something wrong with this place.
16:02Oh, he's coming back! Come on!
16:17Look out!
16:46What on earth's going on around here?
16:48This is Dr Bonkers.
16:50He's invented a robot that will revolutionise the cleaning industry.
16:53Has he now? He has.
16:55We at the Better Bristle Brush Company are always interested in new inventions appertaining to the cleaning industry.
17:01Perhaps we could go inside and discuss it.
17:03Delighted, I'm sure. Perhaps you could help me with something.
17:08You're a man of intelligence, aren't you?
17:10Appertaining is a very big word.
17:13Do you know any more?
17:15One or two, and I'd be delighted to help in any way I can.
17:19Why don't you go through and take a seat in my workshop?
17:29Hey, do you think we should warn him?
17:31I suppose we should.
17:33We're too late.
17:45I feel a bit guilty.
17:47I think we should hang around and make sure everything's OK.
17:49You're right.
17:54Well, all's well that ends well.
17:56Yep, and everybody's A-OK.
18:03And remember, no slacking.