aul and Barry get locked in a D.I.Y shop with a security guard hunting them down
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00I don't get it. Why is it always me who has to do the pushing?
00:24Because you don't get it.
00:25Get what?
00:26See, you still don't get it. Just keep pushing a while, and then I'll have a go.
00:30Will you?
00:31No problem. But I don't know why I should. It wasn't my fault the chain fell off. To
00:34me.
00:35To you.
00:36To me, then.
00:37To you.
00:38Hey, you can have a go.
00:49No need. We're here.
00:50I know we're here. If we weren't here, we'd be somewhere else. Where are we?
00:54Well, we're outside a shop. We'll be able to get a chain for the bike, innit, you?
00:57Great. Does that mean no more pushing?
00:59Exactly. See how I'm always thinking of you, Barry.
01:01Thanks, Paul.
01:02Don't mention it. Bring the shop in with you.
01:03Hi.
01:04Hi.
01:05You'll have to move that.
01:06What?
01:07That.
01:08What?
01:09That.
01:10Didn't you see the sign?
01:11Oh, the sign.
01:12Oh, the sign.
01:13Move it, Barry.
01:14I'll go and move it.
01:15A lot of weather we're having for this time of year.
01:30Geraniums don't like it.
01:32Oh, well, they never do. Funny lot of people, them.
01:35They're not people. They're flowers.
01:37Oh, I wouldn't go that far.
01:39There you go.
01:40What's up with him?
01:41I think he's a bit mad.
01:42Do you know, he thinks the Germans are a bunch of flowers.
01:43Did he?
01:44He did.
01:45He's an odd man.
01:46He's a very odd man.
01:47I think it's the hat he's wearing.
01:48Too tight, you know.
01:49Stops the circulation to the brain.
01:50They should never have banned Barry Clavers.
01:51No.
01:52Come on, it's nearly closing time.
01:53Right.
01:54Hey!
01:55I meant move the bike!
01:56Hey!
01:57I meant move the bike!
01:58Hey!
01:59I meant move the bike!
02:00Hey!
02:01I meant move the bike!
02:02Hey!
02:03I meant move the bike!
02:04Hey!
02:05I meant move the bike!
02:06Hey!
02:07I meant move the bike!
02:08Hey!
02:09There are a couple of troublemakers.
02:18If ever I saw one, better keep an eye on those two.
02:25Nice day for it.
02:32So why would stopping the circulation make him up?
02:49Well, it stands to reason, doesn't it?
02:51If your heart's too tight, it stops your blood flowing to your brain.
02:54Your brain dries up and turns into a walnut.
02:56Walnut?
02:57Oh, no thanks.
02:58They get stuck in me teeth.
02:59Hang on.
03:00Nah.
03:01On second thought, she'd better get us up.
03:17Excuse me, could you pass me that oil, please?
03:22Thank you very much.
03:23Have you ever thought of wearing a balaclava?
03:30Just a thought.
03:31Got it.
03:32Good.
03:33Is it working?
03:34Yeah.
03:35Good.
03:36Can't be too careful with squirters, you know.
03:37Now, where's the chains?
03:38Hey, did you see those people at that campsite?
03:39Do you know, I smiled at them, I spoke to them, and they completely ignored me.
03:40They're probably just sampling the great outdoors.
03:41But we're indoors.
03:42The great indoors, then.
03:43That's why they're confused.
03:44That explains it.
03:45Hey!
03:46Hey!
03:47Hey!
03:48Hey!
03:49Hey!
03:50Hey!
03:51Hey!
03:52Hey!
03:53Hey!
03:54Hey!
03:55Hey!
03:56Hey!
03:57Hey!
03:58Hey!
03:59Hey!
04:00Hey!
04:01Hey!
04:02Oh, dear.
04:03Oh, dear.
04:04Oh, dear.
04:05Do you know, that's the first sign of brain-drying.
04:06What is?
04:07They're falling down.
04:08What's the second sign?
04:09They're standing up again, followed by falling down again.
04:13We'd better go, Barry.
04:14Why?
04:15You won't like the third sign.
04:16Hey, you!
04:21We'll be all right here for a while.
04:24Barry?
04:25Barry?
04:27What?
04:28Stop messing about.
04:29Get out of here, quick.
04:36Now, look what you've done.
04:37Me?
04:38Yes, get him picked up before somebody comes.
04:43To you.
04:44To me.
04:50It's for you.
04:51For me?
04:55Run!
05:02Quick, in here.
05:03I'm not going in there.
05:04It's the last place he'll think of looking.
05:06I don't care.
05:07That's for ladies.
05:08Exactly.
05:09Great place to hide.
05:10No, if there's somebody in there, I'll go all red and flustered.
05:12Well, if somebody's in there, then we'll tell them that we're reporters from the Plumber's
05:15Nest Bend Weekly and that we've come to have a look at the plumbing.
05:18I don't like the sound of that.
05:19Don't listen then.
05:20Come on, get in.
05:21Ladies and gentlemen, the store is now closing.
05:22Ladies, make your way to the nearest exit.
05:37Come on, I think it's safe.
05:38Great.
05:39Can we go home now?
05:40We'd better had.
05:41They haven't got what we came for anyway.
05:51We'll just have to push the bike all the way home, that's all.
05:53I don't care.
05:54I just want to get out of here.
06:00It won't open.
06:01That's because you're pushing instead of pulling.
06:03Oh, silly me.
06:04Silly you.
06:09It still won't open.
06:10If you want a job doing, do it yourself.
06:12Come out the way.
06:18I know what the problem is.
06:19What?
06:20It's locked.
06:21Oh, that's all right.
06:22What do you mean it's locked?
06:23What did I say?
06:24It's locked.
06:25Well, open it.
06:26I want to go home.
06:27Slight problem there, I'm afraid.
06:28We're locked in.
06:29I don't want to be locked in.
06:30Don't panic.
06:31You know what they say.
06:32When one door closes...
06:33Another one slams in your face.
06:34Exactly.
06:35Now, there's got to be more than one exit on a place this size.
06:38All we've got to do is find it.
06:39What about a fire exit?
06:40Yeah.
06:41No, no, that's no good.
06:42We're not on fire.
06:43Of course we're not.
06:44Just a minute.
06:45What?
06:46I've had a thought.
06:47If we're on the inside when we should be on the outside,
06:50then somebody outside might see us inside
06:52and think we're outsiders who's got inside.
06:54And they'll think we're burglars.
06:56They'll call the police.
06:57The police will come inside,
06:58take us outside and put us inside.
07:01I've told you before, haven't I?
07:03Don't thought.
07:04I've never heard anything so ridiculous in all me life.
07:06Do we look anything like burglars?
07:08Honestly.
07:09Where would we be if I wasn't here to do the thinking for us?
07:11On the outside, probably.
07:13Probably.
07:14Don't start that.
07:15Now, come on.
07:16Let's find a way out.
07:17Well, shall we split ourselves up?
07:18Oh, no.
07:19That would be messy.
07:20You go that way.
07:21I'll go this way.
07:22We'll meet back here.
07:23Right.
07:49Good morning, sir.
07:51Ten bags of cement, was it?
07:53Right, just a moment.
07:58Within a moment, sir.
08:02I'll just stamp that for you.
08:15Bing bong.
08:16Here's a special announcement.
08:18This is Mary Chuckle.
08:19We're locked in a DIY store.
08:22Is anybody there?
08:24Help.
08:29Hey, look.
08:30A phone.
08:32I could ring somebody to get us out.
08:34Let's have a look.
08:37The manager.
08:39He should have a key.
08:48Beep.
08:49Beep.
08:50Beep.
08:51Beep.
08:53Who is it?
08:54It's me.
08:56How can that be me?
08:57I'm me.
08:58What do you want?
08:59I'm locked in a DIY store.
09:01What a coincidence.
09:02So am I.
09:03Just a minute.
09:04Is that you, Barry?
09:05No, it's me, Barry.
09:06Who are you?
09:07It's Paul.
09:08You've got through to the manager's office.
09:10Oh, great.
09:11Could you ask him if he could let us out, please?
09:14What do you mean, can I ask him if he can let us out?
09:16The manager's not here.
09:17Just go and find a door.
09:21Charming.
09:31Ah.
09:33Paul.
09:38Oh, God.
09:39You found a door.
09:41Come on.
09:42What are we waiting for?
09:43We'd better not.
09:44I think we should find another way out.
09:45Nonsense.
09:46Get out of the way.
09:51I think you're right.
09:52Come on, let's find another way out.
10:16Oh, my God.
10:46Quick, the back door.
11:08Make a boat for it.
11:09We haven't got time to make a boat.
11:10Shall I fetch a padlock?
11:11No, no, no, no.
11:12Come on.
11:16You can't.
11:17Oof.
11:18I'll make sure they don't get back in again.
11:19Oh.
11:20Oh, make sure they don't get back in again.
11:41Oh, no!
11:52Hey, where are you going?
11:54Back in here. It's the last place they'll think of looking.
12:10Locked in. What are we going to do?
12:32We'll just have to stay here for the night.
12:34Stay the night?
12:35Don't worry. We'll make ourselves comfortable.
12:37Just like home?
12:39Yes, we'll get ourselves to bed.
12:41Yeah, but I'm not tired.
12:43Oh, well, there's plenty to look at, isn't there? Have a look around.
13:09Oh, dear. Oh, dear.
13:39Barry!
14:09I'm going to look more like our Barry every day.
14:28What are you doing?
14:29I'm having a bubble bath.
14:31I always have a bath before I go to bed.
14:33What's wrong about it?
14:44Wake up, Barry. Time to put the cat out.
14:46I'm already awake and we haven't got a cat.
14:50Course we haven't. Silly me.
14:52Hey, now you're up, you can make a nice cup of tea.
14:55I've already done it.
14:57And I've made us some bacon and eggs.
14:59Oh, great. I'm starving. I could eat a horse.
15:01Oh, sorry, I've only got bacon.
15:03That'll do.
15:04Hey, it's a good job I brought the shop in.
15:06It is.
15:08I tell you what, there's nothing like sleeping outdoors to give you an appetite.
15:11But we're not outdoors, we're indoors.
15:13Course we are, silly me.
15:15Just a minute. How did you cook that?
15:17On the fire.
15:19Fire? What about the sprinklers?
15:27What are we going to do now?
15:29Easy. We just keep out of everybody's way until they open the shop.
15:32Then we sneak out with the rest of the customers.
15:34Now let's find somewhere to hide.
15:36Right.
16:00Have a look outside and see if anyone's around.
16:19It's still all quiet.
16:21Right. All we've got to do is hang about a bit and we'll be okay.
16:28Hey, what's that buzzing?
16:30Ah, it's a wasp. Get out, quick.
16:32Oh, get on, get on.
16:38Oops. It was a wasp, you see.
16:41Trouble is, you can't reason with them.
16:43Wasp. I'll give you wasp.
16:46No thanks, we've just had one.
16:48Do you think we'll be able to reason with him?
16:50I'm not going to hang about to find out. Come on.
16:59Oh, no. I can't run another step.
17:16I'm too young to go to prison with a criminal CD.
17:18You two.
17:19Who two?
17:20You two.
17:21Us two?
17:22Got you.
17:23Leave this to me, Mr. Manager, sir.
17:24I'll make sure they get what's coming to them.
17:26And you two are our one millionth customers.
17:29And to honour that fact, we'd like to offer you a prize.
17:32What?
17:33Yes, what?
17:34We'd like to offer you the chance to make a supermarket dash.
17:37What's that?
17:38You get two minutes to rush around the store,
17:40filling your trolleys with whatever you want.
17:42Everything you get, you keep.
17:44I see.
17:45The only trouble is, we're too exhausted now, aren't we, Barry?
17:48Yes, I'm completely exhausted.
17:50Excuse me, sir. I've been following these two,
17:52and I'd like to see them get what's coming to them.
17:54That's very nice of you to offer.
17:57OK, you can do the dash on their behalf.
18:00Me? I didn't mean nice man.
18:02A very nice man.
18:03There's your trolley.
18:04You've got two minutes, starting from now.
18:07And I want to see the trolley full.
18:09Off you go.
18:11It's good, this.
18:16That was a stroke of luck, wasn't it, Barry?
18:18It was.
18:19Mind you, we still haven't got what we went in for in the first place.
18:22That's right, the chain.
18:23We'll stop off on the way.
18:24Can we do a left at the next roundabout, please?
18:27What a nice man.
18:28A very nice man.
18:36And there'll be more Chucklevision tomorrow,
18:38when Paul and Barry train to be butlers.
18:41Noah's Island is coming up next,
18:42but I've got a quick celebrity spot here,
18:44who's from Paul's family.