The Bully Respects Only Me (English)
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00:00Hi, I'm DeeDee, and I'm your typical high school nerd, except I have a very big secret.
00:04Want to know more? Stick around, and yeah, like and subscribe to MSA.
00:08I lived with my parents and twin sister Claire.
00:10Growing up, I was a very quiet kid and mostly kept to myself.
00:13Read books, got straight A's, but Claire was the total opposite.
00:17She was the school's queen bee.
00:19Really pretty, and every week, she would date a new guy who would instantly fall in love with her.
00:23You are so perfect, Claire. I love you.
00:26Aw, sweetie, you're not too bad yourself.
00:29I love your, um, smile.
00:31I love your smile and your eyes and your perfect little hands.
00:34I love everything about you.
00:36Can you guys go and be annoying somewhere else?
00:38I'm trying to do my homework, and your sugar talks are making me nauseous.
00:42Are we making you jealous?
00:44Because, let's face it, the only guy you'd ever kiss is your stuffed panda.
00:48At least he's permanent, unlike the losers you date for two weeks,
00:51then dump and file restraining orders against because they end up stalking you.
00:54I wonder what will happen to this new arm candy.
00:57Word of advice, lover boy, run before it's too late.
00:59Claire threw a cushion at my head and left, and I couldn't help giggling.
01:02But she wasn't wrong. I was a little jealous of her.
01:05Even though I was smarter and more poised than Claire,
01:07I was always known as the other twin, or the geeky one,
01:11and no guy ever gave me the same kind of attention as Claire.
01:14Well, no one except Sid.
01:16He was the bratty son of some rich industrialist and was really popular for his stupid pranks in school.
01:21The first time I saw him was on the first day of high school,
01:23when he rollerbladed his way into me in the school hallway and we both fell on our butts.
01:27Wow, I've never seen anyone like you before.
01:30Really?
01:31Of course! I mean, how many people can be as stupid and blind as you are?
01:35You've gotta be someone special.
01:37Excuse me, but you crashed into me. You should be apologizing.
01:40You're right! Where are my manners?
01:42I'm sorry for calling you blind,
01:45because you also have an incredibly twitchy face and you sound like a pregnant horse when you talk.
01:49Now, I know I'm very handsome and you'd rather spend your day staring at me,
01:52but I'm late for class.
01:54And Sid just pushed past me and left.
01:55I was hoping to never run into him again,
01:57but then I walked into the class and the teacher introduced him as the new student.
02:01To make things worse, she appointed me as his student tutor to bring him up to date with the classes.
02:05Later, as I sat with Sid in the library, I saw him staring at me funny.
02:09You must be so happy!
02:11What makes you say that?
02:12Come on! I saw how you were staring at me in the hallway.
02:15You like me, and it's cool.
02:16So how about we ditch these books and make out?
02:19How about I punch your face and fracture your nose?
02:21My plan's better!
02:23Sid slid to my side and our faces were inches apart.
02:25Do you always smell like this?
02:28Like what?
02:28Like a mix of poop and garlic!
02:30Your breath stinks!
02:32What the heck?
02:32I thought with time, Sid would find a new target.
02:34But a whole year went by and he only got more annoying.
02:37One time, he put a rat in my locker and it chewed all my books.
02:40And another time, Sid pulled out a fake snake from his bag and threw it in my face.
02:44In the middle of a chemistry class, I got spooked, tripped, and crashed into a table full of chemicals.
02:49We couldn't enter the lab for a whole week thanks to the smell of rotten eggs.
02:52But despite everything, I had one thing going on right.
02:55My secret matchmaking website.
02:56I was Mrs. Cupid, famous for giving advice to anonymous kids who were suffering in their love life.
03:01Dear Ms. Cupid, I have a crush on this mega hot chick, but since she's the most popular girl in school, she never notices me.
03:07How do I get her to date me?
03:08Dear Agent Hot Abs, I'm sorry, but the only way you'll get a girl like that to date you is in your dreams.
03:13But try the math club, drama club, and polar bear rights club.
03:16You've got a lot of pretty girls in there.
03:17And a month later, Agent Hot Abs confirmed that he was dating a theater club girl.
03:21Another time, I got an email from the Bimbo Babe.
03:24Dear Ms. Cupid, I want a boyfriend, but I don't want to sound too desperate.
03:27What should I do?
03:28Dear Bimbo Babe, if you're writing this email, it means you're already desperate.
03:32And something about your name tells me you're not too smart either.
03:35Try searching the library for some hot geeks.
03:37This way, you can find a date and maybe learn a thing or two.
03:40Win-win!
03:40And a week later, Bimbo Babe was dating someone too.
03:43Another score for Ms. Cupid.
03:44I'm making your dreams come true.
03:49There you are!
03:50I jumped in shock as Sid walked up from behind me and I shut my laptop.
03:53Whatcha hiding on that computer?
03:55Are you stalking me on Instagram?
03:57I knew it, you have a crush on me!
03:58I don't.
03:59Now stop snooping around and leave.
04:01Not so soon!
04:02Sid snatched the laptop from my hand.
04:04I tried to get it back, but that sleaze bag wouldn't let go.
04:06Finally, the laptop fell on the ground and the screen flew open.
04:09No way!
04:11You're Mrs. Cupid?
04:12You give advice to corny teenagers?
04:15Ha ha ha ha ha!
04:17Oh my god, I'm dying!
04:19I think I might have coughed up a lung!
04:21Shut up, you moron!
04:22And yeah, I am Mrs. Cupid.
04:24But if you tell anybody, I swear I will end you.
04:26I won't tell anyone if you agree to set me up with someone.
04:29I know you're probably wondering why a hot guy like me would need your help,
04:33but I want to see how good you are.
04:35I'd rather eat a bag of worms than help you.
04:37Suddenly, Sid ran out of the door and screamed into the school hallway.
04:40Hey, everybody!
04:41Our grand school matchmaker, Mrs. Cupid, is none other than...
04:45I covered his mouth and yanked him back into the classroom.
04:48Why are you doing this?
04:49You haven't dated a single girl this whole year,
04:51and now suddenly you want a girlfriend?
04:53Maybe I'm bored.
04:53And this could be a welcome change.
04:55Now, do we have a deal?
04:56Ugh, I hate this.
04:58But fine, I'll find a date for you.
04:59And if you two hit it off, you have to promise to permanently get off my back.
05:02Whatever you say, princess.
05:04I know it was probably the worst idea to help Sid,
05:07but I also didn't want anyone to find out I was Mrs. Cupid.
05:10It was the one good thing in my life.
05:12I wasn't going to let all my hard work go down the drain.
05:15So, I sat up all night trying to find the perfect match for Sid.
05:18And the next day, I arranged a few dates for Sid.
05:20But they all ended up in massive disasters.
05:23Have you seen my new rubber chicken collection?
05:25Your what?
05:26Rubber chicken.
05:27You know, the one you squeeze and it makes a sound?
05:29Let me show you an example.
05:30I'm a dorky chick.
05:31Beep!
05:32And I love to flap my wings.
05:33Beep, beep, beep!
05:34Okay, okay.
05:35Actually, I just remembered I have to take my cat for a manicure.
05:39See you around!
05:40And we never saw her again.
05:41The next day, Sid met another girl at a burger joint.
05:44And sneakily placed his dumb rubber chicken in her food.
05:46Just as she took a bite, the toy made a sound and she almost passed out.
05:50This happened a few more times before I finally lost my mind and cornered Sid.
05:54What's the matter with you?
05:55And what's with this stupid obsession with rubber chickens?
05:58What? I really like them.
05:59And if I can't share my passion, what's even the point of having a girlfriend?
06:02If you really want this to work, you've got to step up your date game.
06:06Carrying chicken toys to dates is not how you woo a girl.
06:08Really?
06:09Then how do you woo a girl?
06:11Sid came closer, staring into my eyes.
06:13And for a second, I forgot how to breathe.
06:15But then he just pulled my laptop closer and stared at the screen.
06:18Oh, this one sounds interesting.
06:20Dear Cupid Lovelock, I'm tired of dating the same guy over and over again.
06:24Find me someone different.
06:26Bored Anonymous.
06:27Ahem.
06:27Yeah, cool.
06:28Now sit back and let me work my magic.
06:30I texted Bored Anonymous that the boy she was looking for would meet her in the library with a red book in hand.
06:36And the next day, Sid sat at the desk with the book while I hid behind the wall waiting for Bored Anonymous to show up.
06:41I almost threw up when I saw Claire walk in and she went straight to Sid.
06:44She was Bored Anonymous?
06:46Mind if I take this seat?
06:47I don't see why not.
06:48Claire pulled out a chair and I waited for Sid to do something stupid.
06:51But surprisingly, they got along really well.
06:54They were cracking up at Sid's jokes and Sid was lushing like stupid girl.
06:58And weirdly enough, I started feeling kind of jealous watching them together.
07:01I was still lost in my thoughts when Sid walked over.
07:04That went well.
07:05You don't actually think you can date my sister, do you?
07:08Why?
07:08Claire is fun, cool, and pretty to look at.
07:10Why should I not date her?
07:12Because you guys are totally different and she's known to crush boys and walk all over them.
07:17That was before she met me.
07:18I'm gonna steal her heart and she won't know what hit her.
07:21In fact, she just asked me to be her date at this super cool party and I think I'm going to go.
07:25Uh-huh.
07:26Guess what?
07:26I'll be there too with my boyfriend.
07:28You know you can't bring an imaginary person to a party, right?
07:32He's not imaginary.
07:33He's a very real person.
07:34You'll see.
07:35I can't wait.
07:36Neither can I.
07:37And yeah, don't forget your rubber chickens.
07:39I walked away feeling kind of miserable.
07:41I had less than five hours to find myself a boyfriend.
07:44So I just asked one of the guys from the chemistry class to be my date and he said yes.
07:48The party was nice and I was having a good time until Sid showed up with Claire on his arm and sat right next to me and my date.
07:54Oh, my sweet honey buns.
07:56I could stare into your eyes forever.
07:58And I could stare into yours.
08:00I can stare deeper.
08:01I can stare into your soul and I can say you're an angel.
08:04That doesn't even make any sense.
08:06It's a metaphor.
08:07It's stupid.
08:08You're stupid.
08:09Are you two done?
08:09Because I want to dance.
08:11Sid, come on.
08:11We'll join you.
08:12But I don't know how to dance.
08:14Just follow my lead.
08:15I dragged my date but he kept missing steps, banged into a bunch of people.
08:18At one point, he stomped on my feet so bad I had to sit down with an ice pack.
08:22I didn't see Sid and Claire after that and the next day, they were officially dating.
08:26Sid was so lost in Claire's love.
08:28He didn't pay any attention to me.
08:29No pranks, no rude comments, not even a glance.
08:32And it made me so mad.
08:35But I knew it was only a matter of days till Claire would dump Sid.
08:38Despite our weird relationship, he was kind of the only friend I had.
08:41And I didn't want him to end up hating me after Claire dumped him.
08:44So I tried talking to Claire about it.
08:46So you and Sid, huh?
08:48When are you dumping him?
08:49Not this time.
08:50I actually like this guy and I think I'm gonna stick around.
08:53But he's so uncultured and weird.
08:54And I might warn you, he has an unhealthy obsession with rubber chicken toys.
08:58It's bizarre.
08:59So, he's a funny guy.
09:01And why are you so interested in Sid anyway?
09:03You never paid attention to the guys I've dated in the past.
09:06I'm just looking out for you.
09:07Yeah, right.
09:08Stop prying and mind your own business.
09:10Claire Cat walked her way out of the room and I kept thinking about what she said.
09:13Why was it bothering me so much that Sid was dating Claire?
09:16Did I have feelings for him?
09:18Ew, no, yuck.
09:19I just shoved whatever stupid thoughts I had to a side and decided to focus on my studies.
09:24But my concentration was all over the place.
09:26Then one day, I was in the library breaking my head over some complicated maths equation
09:30when someone pulled my notebook.
09:31Sid, give that back.
09:33I will when you tell me why are you so mad at me.
09:35Why would I be mad at you?
09:36Do I look mad at you?
09:37You and I are not friends that I'll be mad enough to be mad at you.
09:40That'll be madness and I'm not that mad.
09:42I grabbed my books and turned to leave, but Sid got in the way.
09:45I'm not done talking.
09:46Did you tell Claire that I'm uncultured and weird?
09:49Maybe.
09:49Why?
09:50Because it's the truth.
09:51You are weird and creepy and you don't care about anyone's feelings.
09:54Remember how you chased me around for a year, saying the stupidest things, and now that
09:58you have a girlfriend, it's like I don't even exist?
10:00I thought you wanted me to back off and now you're bothered by it?
10:03What do you want, Dee Dee?
10:04I don't know, okay?
10:05Maybe I'm just mad at you for not even saying a thank you.
10:08If not for me, Claire would never date a rubber chicken loving brat like you.
10:12Fine, thank you.
10:13Happy now?
10:13Anyway, I came here to ask your opinion on this necklace I got for Claire for prom, but
10:18I guess it was a stupid mistake.
10:20Glad to know that there's something you can figure out on your own.
10:22Sid and I didn't talk after that, and I just spent most of my days locked up in my room,
10:26eating tons of ice cream and watching MSA.
10:28Watching these stories made me realize how stupid I was to chase a guy who didn't even
10:32like me, so I decided to keep my self-respect and forget about Sid, even though it broke
10:37my heart.
10:37Then a few days later, it was prom, and I decided not to go.
10:40I was casually sitting in my living room when I heard a car pull up in the driveway.
10:44I peeked outside the window and saw Claire kissing some guy who looked nothing like Sid.
10:48What the heck was that?
10:49It's called none of your business.
10:51No.
10:52It's called cheating.
10:53You're dating Sid.
10:54Remember?
10:55Your boyfriend?
10:56Ex-boyfriend.
10:56I've decided to dump him.
10:58So he doesn't actually know?
11:00Claire, he genuinely likes you.
11:02Well, they all do.
11:03I'm literally perfect.
11:05But you know me.
11:05I get bored so easily, and this Sid was a total freak.
11:08He keeps annoying me with those stupid rubber chicken toys, and all he ever did was joke
11:13and talk and blah, blah, blah.
11:15Anyway, I can just drop him a text now.
11:17Claire pulled out her phone, but I just snatched it and threw it away.
11:20And then I pounced on her like a wild cat while she struggled to push me away.
11:23Finally, my parents walked in and threw me off.
11:26I can't believe I thought you were capable of changing.
11:28I should have fought harder for Sid.
11:29In fact, I should have just asked him not to date you when I figured you were bored
11:33anonymous.
11:34How did you?
11:35Miss Cupid?
11:36Oh my god, you liar.
11:38I should have known it was you.
11:39Only someone too lame to get a boyfriend would have so much time to find boyfriends
11:43for others.
11:44You're calling me a liar?
11:46What about you?
11:47You cheating, backstabbing witch.
11:49At least I have a life.
11:51All you have is this desperate attempt to save your sanity.
11:54I will kick your butt like a bazooka.
11:56I charged at Claire one more time, but before I could grab her, Dad screamed at us to stop
12:00and then suddenly, he fell to the ground unconscious.
12:03We immediately called 911 and took him to the hospital.
12:05Apparently, Dad had been under tremendous work stress that impacted his heart and now
12:09he needed immediate surgery.
12:11But it was really expensive and we didn't have that kind of money.
12:14Mom had some savings, but it wasn't enough, so Claire asked her friends for help.
12:18But she was only met with more closed doors.
12:20We were running out of options when the nurse told us that someone had paid our bill in
12:23full.
12:24What?
12:24Who?
12:25The donor wants to keep his name anonymous.
12:26Sorry.
12:27With the bill being finally paid, Dad went into surgery and thankfully, it was successful.
12:31I was happy and I couldn't stop thinking about this anonymous donor.
12:35So I waited for everyone to sleep and then slowly made my way to the computer in the
12:38reception area.
12:39I typed in Dad's name and the bill had no name, but it did have a number.
12:43Sid's!
12:44What are you doing?
12:45Sid paid the bill!
12:46I can't believe this!
12:47I really like you a lot.
12:48I don't think he did this for me, dummy.
12:50I've seen the way he looks at you.
12:51He likes you and I definitely know you like him.
12:54Sorry about that.
12:55Don't worry.
12:56Now go before it's too late.
12:57And yeah, don't ask Ms. Cupid for help.
12:59She kind of sucks.
13:00I smiled and rushed out of the hospital, but it was too late at night and I couldn't fight
13:04a cab.
13:05Disappointed, I was headed back to the hospital when I noticed a car in the parking lot and
13:08Sid sleeping inside it.
13:10I walked over and banged on the window.
13:12What?
13:13What?
13:14I have a weapon, Dee Dee!
13:15Sid stepped out of the car and I immediately hugged him.
13:16Thank you for saving my dad.
13:18I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't stepped in, but what are you doing
13:21in the parking lot?
13:22I stuck around in case you needed more help.
13:25Listen, Dee Dee.
13:26There's something you should know.
13:27I like you.
13:28I was stupid to be playing games with you to begin with, but I thought you weren't interested
13:31in me.
13:32I started dating your sister to get some reaction out of you.
13:34And I did get a bit infatuated with her, but I started seeing her true colors soon enough
13:38before she even dumped me.
13:40I know I was crazy and should have just told you I like you in the first place, but...
13:44Hey, hey.
13:45I like you too.
13:46I don't always have, but I needed you to date Claire to finally see that.
13:49Guess we both kind of messed up.
13:51We can still make it, right?
13:52I'd like that.
13:53Sid leaned in and I was sure he was going to kiss me this time, but instead he canned
13:57me a rubber chicken.
13:58You really know how to woo a girl.