Forbidden Love Season 1 Episode 6
Forbidden Love S01E06
Category
📚
LearningTranscript
00:00Previously on Forbidden Love...
00:02They gave me the dirty looks.
00:03Isn't it awkward? Like, your own family's right there,
00:05and they're just like, act like they don't see you.
00:07Yeah, they just walk away.
00:09The moment I married Lindsey,
00:10my family, they don't communicate with me no more.
00:13Because if you marry an English woman,
00:15like, you are totally, like, completely out.
00:17Like, you are done with being Amish.
00:22By Jewish law, you cover your hair when you get married.
00:26I feel a little bit uncomfortable.
00:29You're going to be the mother of my grandchildren.
00:31You have to wear a wig.
00:34There's a lot of things that are different
00:36that make you the Laurie that I grew up with.
00:39I just don't want to lose my sister.
00:42Do you feel like you're cut out for this orthodox Jewish life?
00:46I don't know if I can do this.
00:52Sometimes you do say stuff to me that's rude.
00:55You said I'm a fake Muslim.
00:57If you want to stay with my brother,
00:59I would love to see you Muslim.
01:01Wearing a hijab and abaya does make me feel
01:03a little bit out of my comfort zone.
01:05I don't think that Mohammed and Abdul
01:07realize how huge of a life change this is.
01:11In the name of the Father, the Son, and of the Holy Ghost.
01:14I can feel him, like, putting the cross on my forehead.
01:18This is insane.
01:20I said, look at God.
01:22Look how great he is.
01:24You can't force me into submission.
01:26And I feel like I'm being forced here,
01:28and it makes me uncomfortable.
01:30Oh! Thank you, Jesus.
01:32We're on our way to Elmer's parents' house right now,
01:35and I am worried if he can handle
01:38if his family rejects him again.
01:40Wilmer called me.
01:42Your brother?
01:43Yeah.
01:44He got wind that you guys are coming up.
01:48Now I know that my parents know that we're coming,
01:50so I'm afraid they're going to be gone.
01:52What are we going to do now?
01:53I think we should just go over there.
01:55So we got to go now.
01:57♪♪♪
02:07♪♪♪
02:17♪♪♪
02:24There you go.
02:26Thinking about going back to my parents' house,
02:28I'm nervous as hell.
02:30The last time when I walked out that door,
02:32they said never to come back,
02:33and I didn't think I was going to come back.
02:35And now I'm just trying to do the right thing
02:37for Lindsey and our kid's sake.
02:41I'm nervous. I'm sweating.
02:44My heart's about to jump out of my chest.
02:46I'm scared s***less what's going to happen,
02:48but we got to do it.
02:52Whoa, that's far enough.
02:53We can't have that s***, man.
02:55We can't have cameras over there, man.
02:57You guys can't come at all.
03:00♪♪♪♪
03:09♪♪♪♪
03:16What happened, guys?
03:19Well...
03:22One brother answered the door,
03:25and then here comes another brother,
03:27and another brother, and a sister,
03:29and we ended up, like, six surrounding us.
03:36It was a very emotional moment.
03:39I know. I've got to start tearing up for you.
03:41Like, these are your siblings,
03:43and they look so much like you, and...
03:46You know, I said, you know,
03:47hey, where's Mom and Dad at?
03:48They said they're not home.
03:49I said, okay.
03:51I wish they would have been there
03:53so she could have met them.
03:55Yeah.
03:56But I said we came out here to, you know,
03:58for me to introduce her
04:00and just try to get a better relationship.
04:03I said, if you guys don't want us to come in,
04:06you don't have to come in.
04:07But they did let us come in.
04:08And then they let us come in.
04:09Just inside, I mean, the garage area.
04:12Yeah.
04:13Concrete floor area.
04:15Did you tell them you were pregnant?
04:17Yeah, I murdered her.
04:18Yeah.
04:21There wasn't any response, so...
04:23Yeah.
04:24Yeah.
04:26We told the siblings to, like, you know,
04:28just can you pass this along that we stopped by
04:30and tell them about the gifts.
04:32There was a lot of very emotional thoughts
04:34going through my head.
04:38I know this is a selfish thought,
04:41but I just wish that, you know,
04:45she was almost there for a minute,
04:47and we'd be like, yeah, we can go back home.
04:49We can go for dinner.
04:50Everything's great.
04:53I just want to go run back there right now
04:55and just give them all a hug and be like,
04:56hey, you know, how's it going, you know?
04:58But it's something where there's never going to be
05:03a chance of making things right because I'm still English
05:06and because, you know, I'm shunned.
05:10They're so polite, but yet have so much, like,
05:12hatred deep down.
05:14It's not necessarily.
05:15It's not hatred.
05:16It's their religion.
05:19And the way they grew up,
05:20the way they've been brainwashed their whole life,
05:23I think it's going to be a long road.
05:28Maybe eventually.
05:29We'll think about it.
05:30Maybe five years down the road,
05:31two years down the road, we don't know.
05:33Maybe it's something that we can, you know,
05:37have a better relationship with them.
05:39We don't know.
05:40It's out of our hands.
05:43I just hope we planted a seed, maybe,
05:45you know, that can grow.
05:48Maybe we can write letters to keep in touch once in a while.
05:51A letter once a month?
05:53Twice a month?
05:54Yeah.
05:55Baby steps, you know.
05:57Persistence.
05:59Yeah.
06:00It doesn't fit on it.
06:17That's bad.
06:18That's bad.
06:19It's a bad idea.
06:20Right?
06:21It's not my club.
06:22You don't have to do all that.
06:25Yeah, shimmy it off.
06:28I'm really glad that our family issues
06:30are kind of behind us now.
06:31I mean, kind of.
06:33Sort of.
06:35It's much better than it was.
06:37Anyway, now we can just focus on ourselves
06:40getting better and moving forward.
06:42I don't know if that's the right way to word it.
06:44Yeah, I mean, it was a relief to fix with Ashley's family
06:48and things with my brother Abdul.
06:50So, like, right now we focus on our marriage, our family.
06:59Ready?
07:01Should I give it to him?
07:03No.
07:04Mine is yours.
07:05Okay, I'm going to give it to him.
07:06No, me.
07:07It's me, me, me, me.
07:09No.
07:10He's like, ha ha.
07:14In Islam, we eat with our hands.
07:17He does, like, a little shuffle, like.
07:22And also, like, we believe the left hand is for the bathroom.
07:27Dirt, like, use your left hand.
07:29This hand's for, like, for eat, clean things.
07:32Right hand for school, left hand for the poop.
07:38Do you want to put your gown on now?
07:40No.
07:41No gown? You're just going to pray like that?
07:42Yeah.
07:43Okay.
07:44All right, well.
07:47Allahu Akbar.
07:50You're doing so good.
07:55All Muslims, like, have to pray five times a day, no matter what.
07:58In the morning, afternoon, evening, and at night time.
08:03So what if you have to have surgery?
08:07Well, that's an excuse.
08:08Like, after surgery, you pray.
08:11What if you're having sex?
08:13Well, sex can wait.
08:15What?
08:17Or, like, you know, just finish it as, like, soon as you can.
08:29Okay, Rosie, do you want to go to the park?
08:31I should.
08:32Daddy's going to.
08:33What should I wear?
08:34How about that one?
08:35This one?
08:36Yeah.
08:37Looks nice, right?
08:38Looks good.
08:40Well, are you going to the park like this?
08:43Yeah.
08:45Why not?
08:46What is your pants?
08:49What, are you throwing them out?
08:50You want to put pants under?
08:51Yeah.
08:53Covering your legs is good.
08:56Now that we made peace with our families,
08:58I've been spending a lot of time thinking about converting
09:01and how it would affect our marriage.
09:03And I know that Muhammad would feel so happy,
09:05and I think it would make things a little bit easier for us.
09:09But I'm still not sure if I'm ready to commit.
09:13Are you not wearing hijab today?
09:15No.
09:16You don't feel like it?
09:17No, it's hot outside.
09:19Back home in Saudi Arabia and Yemen, like, 90 degrees,
09:21100 degrees, they wear hijab.
09:24Like, thick.
09:26I don't know what you expect me to say to that.
09:28Like, I just don't want to.
09:33As a Muslim man, like, my wife should cover her skin
09:36and wear a bayah because her beauty is my beauty.
09:41I mean, not for a stranger or freaking, like,
09:44going outside or grabbing people's attention.
09:47No, that's prohibited.
09:50If she's not wearing hijab, she will commit a sin.
09:56If you love someone, you will do it, like, with love.
09:58No, I don't agree.
10:00I don't know why you keep saying that.
10:01I don't agree.
10:02So you're going to love me?
10:03For the religion.
10:04No, I'm not saying I don't love you.
10:05I'm not going to do it because I love you.
10:07I'm going to do it because I feel like that's what I'm
10:09supposed to do religiously.
10:10Think about it.
10:12Right now, Rosie getting older.
10:14I want to make sure she grow up as a Muslim.
10:17That's why I need, actually, to be a good role model,
10:20a perfect example for Rosie.
10:22For me, that's non-negotiable.
10:26To me, like, wearing hijab there, like,
10:28we follow the same religion.
10:30Like, you know, we follow, like, same bath.
10:33I'm working on that.
10:35Like, I'm trying.
10:36I'm trying to get there, like, to feel that.
10:39I just don't think I'm ready.
10:43Shabbat's at 5.30.
10:45You can't use electronics.
10:47We don't cook.
10:48We don't clean.
10:50No, leave that one on.
10:51Leave that one on.
10:52It's going to be dark in there.
10:53Learning about Shabbat, I was like,
10:55what the f***?
10:56This is weird.
10:57I have to rip the toilet paper.
10:59Don't do, like, one square.
11:00I could teach you how to do it.
11:02I don't even know how to express it.
11:04It's insane to me.
11:07You knew I was 23 when I married you.
11:09I didn't know you acted like a child.
11:11I'm a hell of a lot tougher and a lot stronger woman
11:13than all these pussy men that she's used to.
11:15I have to remind you to brush your teeth
11:17and wash your hands every day.
11:18You point out all my flaws.
11:20You want a f***ing sticker?
11:21Oh, good job, Elmer.
11:23You took care of your own s***.
11:37Look at that.
11:39Pretty, huh?
11:40Oh, it's inside out.
11:41Wow.
11:42You can read Hebrew now.
11:43You see the letters are backwards?
11:45Oh, yeah.
11:53Shabbat's at 5.30,
11:54so we have, like, three and a half hours left in the day.
11:58All right.
11:59Yalla.
12:00Let's go.
12:01Okay.
12:02It's Friday night.
12:03Me and Lori need to prepare everything for Shabbat,
12:05which is the day of rest,
12:07from Friday sundown till Saturday sundown.
12:10By Jewish law, there's 39 categories of things
12:14that you can't do
12:15because they're considered work or labor,
12:17which you cannot do on the day of rest.
12:20It's a no-no.
12:21You can't use electronics.
12:23We don't cook.
12:24We don't clean.
12:26You can't drive a car.
12:27You might see a bunch of Jews on a Saturday
12:29scootering or even driving a car.
12:31You might see a bunch of Jews on a Saturday
12:33scootering or even just walking.
12:34A lot of people just walk to temple.
12:36For the average non-Jewish person,
12:38this might sound crazy,
12:40but as Orthodox Jews,
12:42it is like a gift from God
12:45that we get to do nothing.
12:48See this?
12:49This little switch?
12:50Yeah, yeah, yeah.
12:51So you just take it.
12:52All right, take that s*** down.
12:53And now it just stays off.
12:54Learning about Shabbat for the first time,
12:57I was like, what the f***?
12:58No, I would never do that.
13:00This is weird.
13:01Magic.
13:02Opening the fridge,
13:03you have to take the light and, like,
13:04you know, shut it off.
13:06No, leave that one off.
13:07Leave that one off.
13:08It's going to be dark in there.
13:09You can use lights and stuff.
13:10You leave them on, put them on a timer.
13:12But after Shabbat starts,
13:13you can't turn anything on or off
13:15because it's going to change its form.
13:17So you're essentially creating something on Saturday.
13:21And technically, that's doing work,
13:23so it's forbidden.
13:25Yeah.
13:27What else? What else? What else?
13:28Rip the toilet paper.
13:30Ooh, look at you.
13:33You can't even rip your toilet paper
13:36because that's considered working.
13:38I don't even know how to express it.
13:40It's insane to me.
13:43Don't do, like, one square at a time.
13:46Do, like, three.
13:47Yeah.
13:48I could teach you how to do it.
13:49I mean, I think I can handle it.
13:51There's a trick, though.
13:52I've seen how your mom rips them.
13:54Okay.
13:55You forget to tear the toilet paper, what happens?
13:57So if you forget to tear the toilet paper,
13:59you better have a bidet.
14:00Because, yeah, you don't want to walk around
14:02with a mud butt all day, bro.
14:06That's about right.
14:09But Shabbat is not only restrictions.
14:12It's a day of reflection.
14:13It's a day of prayers.
14:15To connect to God.
14:16And also, connect with your family.
14:18And for married couples,
14:20it's actually a good deed
14:21to make love to your wife on Friday night.
14:24Of course, if she wants to.
14:28A flash flood warning is in effect.
14:31Whoa.
14:32You think their flight's gonna be okay
14:34if it's a flash flood?
14:36They're gonna be fine.
14:38Eli and I are throwing a housewarming party this weekend.
14:42So my mom and my sister Jen
14:44are coming in from Boston tonight.
14:47I really want to see them.
14:48But because it's Shabbat,
14:50I'm not supposed to be riding in a car.
14:53So I'm not gonna be able to pick them up from the airport.
14:56You really want to go to the airport and see them?
15:00Yeah.
15:03Like I said before, I'd rather you not break Shabbat.
15:06No, I know.
15:08There's a lot of rules for Shabbat.
15:10And it's kind of frustrating and irritating.
15:13But it's something that you have to get used to.
15:15And I'm trying to, like, accustom myself to this.
15:18So it's gonna be cool to have my mom and my sister here
15:22on Sunday.
15:24I don't remember the last time I had, like, my whole,
15:28like, almost my whole family besides my brother here, you know?
15:31I know, I know.
15:33I'm actually very excited, you know?
15:35Me too, yeah, yeah.
15:38I'm so excited that my mom and my sister are visiting.
15:42But I am nervous because this is the first time
15:45I'm seeing my family in person
15:47since I've decided to convert.
15:50My family has already expressed some reservations
15:53with me becoming Orthodox Jewish.
15:55And now they're gonna see my new lifestyle up close.
15:59So I'm really nervous how they're gonna react.
16:01And I don't know if they're gonna approve of my new life.
16:20Christopher.
16:21Yeah.
16:22Come here. I need to talk to you.
16:24Did you know my dad was coming over?
16:26No.
16:28I'm still livid that Christopher's dad
16:32showed up at the house to anoint me.
16:34He's doing everything in his power
16:37to get me to convert to Christianity.
16:39And I'm beyond over it.
16:45I told him you weren't feeling good,
16:47but I didn't know they were coming over.
16:49Well, he came by just to check on me,
16:51which was really nice.
16:52Very kind of him.
16:54And then he offered to heal me.
16:57Heal you?
16:58Yeah.
16:59So he grabbed the oil,
17:01and he did a, like, put a cross on my forehead.
17:04He put oil on your head?
17:06Mm-hmm.
17:07Islam, you don't have rituals like that.
17:10That's kind of like paganism, you know?
17:13It just reminded me a lot of, like, witchcraft.
17:17In the Quran, there's only one higher power,
17:21the one and almighty Allah.
17:23We don't have people who are magically healing you
17:26or anything of that nature.
17:28We have prayer, and then we have doctors.
17:33When he started calling on to Mary and the Holy Ghost,
17:37I was just struck with intense guilt.
17:40I'm sorry, but I...
17:41It felt like I really betrayed Allah, honestly.
17:44I am a little annoyed that my father anointed her
17:48with me not even being present.
17:50He's just going too far now at this point.
17:53You know, I think that's more so of, like,
17:56a forceful type of behavior.
17:58So it's definitely crossed the line.
18:01I can tell you this, first off, that, you know,
18:04he didn't mean no harm by what he was doing.
18:07Mm-hmm.
18:08You know, in our faith,
18:10that's a sign of, like, respect
18:13or, like, he really cares about you.
18:17But in the moment,
18:20like, I really felt like I betrayed my religion.
18:24And, um...
18:27I don't want to feel that anymore.
18:34I've reached my limits with Chris's family
18:36trying to convert me.
18:37He's moving to Grand Rapids soon.
18:39He's going to meet my parents,
18:41and we're going to get engaged.
18:43He needs to change religions.
18:46I know this isn't something small.
18:48It's huge.
18:50He's a pastor's son.
18:52But I need to know that he's serious about our future.
18:57I want you to be Muslim.
19:03I want you to convert to Islam.
19:09I mean, it's...
19:13You know, my parents, they mean a lot to me,
19:15and they are well-grounded in the community.
19:19Mm-hmm.
19:20And let's say if I did become a Muslim,
19:23could you imagine how people may look at him as,
19:26okay, how are you a pastor, but...
19:28Yeah, your son.
19:29Your son, you know, left the church to become a Muslim.
19:33Yeah.
19:34You know, so I got to think about that type of stuff, too.
19:36Converting over to Islam would be a major life change for me.
19:41I got to change the way I pray
19:44to now a set five-prayer-a-day schedule.
19:47I wouldn't be able to eat pork.
19:50I wouldn't be able to drink alcohol.
19:53But the hardest thing is what it would do to my family.
19:57That could hurt them and, you know, potentially push them away.
20:00It's the most challenging decision that I've ever had to make.
20:09Let's pump the brakes a little bit on them.
20:12It's just not something I can just say,
20:15okay, I'm ready.
20:19You know, it's a tough ask to do that.
20:24That's fair.
20:26I just want to see a little bit more effort with you
20:29at least just trying to learn.
20:32I feel like I've went out of my way
20:34to make sure his parents feel respected
20:37and that he knows that I respect his faith as well.
20:41But I want him to convert because if he doesn't convert,
20:44we're not going to be able to sustain this relationship.
20:51I'm very afraid, Rose, you're going to be like one of your family.
20:55You're sitting here saying,
20:56oh, I don't want her to act like people in your family.
20:58You're being kind of dumb right now.
21:00When she calls me dumb, that means she doesn't respect me as a husband.
21:04I'm telling you right now,
21:05if you don't want me to talk about your family,
21:07do not speak about mine.
21:09To be honest with you, we will not be continuing in the future.
21:21You're going to go down the slide?
21:23What do you want to choose, this one or that one?
21:25Here?
21:26Okay.
21:27Give me.
21:28Give me.
21:29Oh!
21:40Good play.
21:44Rosie, be careful.
21:46She's so cute.
21:48She's so little, but she has a big personality.
21:51She's growing so fast.
21:53Very fast.
21:54Even when she's, like, praying,
21:56she's, like, mouthing the words, mumbling the words to it.
22:10Thank you!
22:12I love it.
22:25It's really very, very important,
22:28Rosie grow up, like, to be Muslim.
22:32And I feel when she grow up, like, she will copy you.
22:35Me?
22:36Yeah, she will copy you, like, the way you dress.
22:38Yeah.
22:39I mean, I hope you wear hijab.
22:41She will see you wearing it, she will copy you.
22:44I'm going to copy my mom.
22:46Ah, Mohammed.
22:48She will wear it.
22:50I understand what Mohammed is saying
22:52about Rosie having role models
22:54and raising her in a Muslim household,
22:57but I don't think he realizes how much of a struggle it is
23:00for me to adjust to a new religion.
23:03I need your help.
23:04If you want her to be a Muslim, I need your help.
23:07This is a big change to go from wearing
23:10basically whatever I want
23:12to now wearing hijab and abaya every time I leave my house.
23:15I just need Mohammed to have some patience
23:17and be a little more flexible.
23:20I'm very afraid.
23:22Definitely, she's going to be, like, one of your family.
23:27You're sitting here saying,
23:28oh, I don't want her to act like people in your family.
23:30I don't want, if she's not Muslim,
23:32I'm afraid she's going to be bad.
23:33But on the flip side, like,
23:35I do not think your brother is a good person at all,
23:37and he's a Muslim, and look how he acts.
23:42Why are you bringing my brother right now?
23:44Why are you bringing my brother right now?
23:45He's speaking about, like, our daughter.
23:46Because you brought my family.
23:49If you don't want me to talk about your family,
23:51do not speak about mine.
23:56I can't believe Mohammed is bringing up my family like this.
23:58I thought we were over all of this,
24:00and now for him to throw this in my face,
24:02it's pissing me off.
24:04If he wants me to be a good role model for Rosie,
24:06then he has to start being one too
24:08and stop being such an ass****.
24:11I feel like you're being like...
24:15Being like what?
24:17I feel like you're being kind of dumb right now.
24:20When she call me dumb,
24:22that means she don't respect me as a husband.
24:25Even I am wrong.
24:26Do not call me dumb.
24:27Never call me dumb.
24:28Growing up,
24:29my mom will never, ever call my dad dumb.
24:33Never.
24:35The way you speak to me is respectful.
24:38There is things like you need, like, you know,
24:40obey, respect, trust.
24:42That's why I need you to be a Muslim.
24:44The more that Mohammed tells me to obey and respect him,
24:47the less I feel like converting.
24:51I feel like the word obey, like,
24:53we use that for, like, servants, animals.
24:56I don't need to blindly obey my husband.
25:01So you think I can't be a good wife unless I am a Muslim?
25:04Yes.
25:07I love my Ashley,
25:08but I don't think I can be a good wife unless I am a Muslim.
25:12I love my Ashley, but I'm telling you right now,
25:15if Ashley not convert to Islam,
25:18that will lead us to a huge problem.
25:23To be honest with you,
25:25if she not a Muslim,
25:27we will not be continuing in the future.
25:31I'm done with this conversation.
25:32Okay, then, good.
25:37When me and Laurie got into this relationship,
25:39we had this conversation.
25:40If we were going to be together and get married,
25:42she'd have to convert.
25:43I just feel like if you really love someone,
25:45you shouldn't have to convert or do anything
25:47to be able to be with you.
25:49I think she was just giving her honest opinion
25:52that she thought I shouldn't have to.
26:04Let's see how we're going to set this up.
26:06You're doing it wrong.
26:08You got to do it this way.
26:10Oh, my.
26:16Come in.
26:17Hi.
26:21I love this, it's so cute.
26:23You like it?
26:25My mom and my sister Jen flew in from Boston,
26:29and tonight we are going to have a housewarming party.
26:34You guys didn't have to get me anything.
26:36Oh, my God, stop.
26:37My family has expressed to me
26:39their reservations about me converting to Orthodox Judaism
26:44because of how strict the religion is.
26:48So while they're here, I want to show them
26:52that Judaism would be a good thing for me.
26:55This is Elena, Nadia.
26:57Hi, nice to meet you.
26:59Nice to meet you.
27:01You guys want tea or something?
27:03Oh, hey, queen.
27:06You look so good. You smell so good.
27:09I haven't seen you in like three months.
27:11I know, I'm huge now.
27:13Rosalie is Eli's cousin, his first cousin.
27:17She doesn't really live like a strong Orthodox life.
27:20In fact, she's also in a interfaith relationship
27:24with a Muslim man.
27:26Neither her or her husband wanted to convert,
27:29so they're going to raise their child with two religions.
27:32I really looked up to her when I met her
27:34because she just didn't give a damn when anybody thought.
27:37Is the baby hungry? Is the baby hungry?
27:39No.
27:40Yeah, is the baby hungry?
27:41It was a rough night with her.
27:43Aw.
27:44Eli's mom, she's very close to my mother.
27:47They're sisters.
27:48It was uncomfortable for me growing up,
27:50like when I would sleep over and stuff.
27:52There were like 50,000 rules and it was just,
27:55I was like, what is going on?
27:57You know, so Eli will argue this,
28:00but to Orthodox Jews, I'm not like a real Jew
28:03because I don't do all the things that they do.
28:05French, French.
28:06I was going to see if you can get some pizza.
28:08White dog wouldn't want pizza.
28:10Jews and the Italians, Jews and Persians are very similar.
28:12Family oriented, community.
28:15Cooking.
28:16Cooking, food, food.
28:18I hit the lottery.
28:20I found me a nice Italian.
28:22Aw.
28:23A nice Italian that's going to convert.
28:26Yeah.
28:27Yes.
28:29So when does this all happen as far as Laurie converting?
28:34I'm not sure when, but hopefully soon.
28:37We're just waiting for Rabbi to schedule the last test.
28:41And that could be a while from now.
28:43No, I don't think so.
28:44Yeah.
28:46I'm like amazed at how supportive you are.
28:48So you were totally cool with this whole thing?
28:51I'm not saying I agree with everything
28:54that you have to do in converting.
28:57Or once you're converted, the life you live.
29:00I'm not saying I agree with it.
29:02She's a grown woman.
29:04She makes up her own decisions, you know.
29:08When she first started the conversion,
29:10I actually watched documentaries about it.
29:13And to be honest, I disagree with some of it.
29:16Some of Judaism, you know, some of the religion.
29:20There's a lot of rules.
29:21Some of them are pretty drastic.
29:23And there is some fear.
29:25Just want to make sure that she's safe
29:28in what she decides to do.
29:30I would never want my daughter to put up with anything
29:33that would hurt her.
29:37I'm like the very black sheep of the family, like open-minded.
29:41I'm married to a non-Jew.
29:43Neither of us converted.
29:45We agreed that we're not going to.
29:48But the baby's Jewish.
29:50So there's that.
29:52Baby will be raised learning both.
29:55I love you to death, to me.
29:57Tell me how you really feel.
29:59I mean, I just feel like if you really love someone,
30:01you love someone for who they are.
30:03Like, they shouldn't have to convert or do anything
30:05to be able to be with you.
30:09I hate that convert for me if you want to marry me thing.
30:13For me, I would lie in bed every night kind of resenting you
30:16that you made me do this for you.
30:18And for him, I would lie in bed every night being like,
30:21well, did she really want to do this?
30:24Or did I kind of just pressure her into doing it?
30:27So you should never convert for someone else.
30:31That is why my husband and I didn't do it.
30:34Because if we did it, it would have just been
30:36for the other person, and that's too much.
30:38When me and Laurie got into this relationship,
30:40we had this conversation.
30:42I was an open book.
30:43I said, this is what we're going to have to do.
30:45If we were going to be together and get married,
30:47she'd have to convert.
30:49I mean, it's 2023.
30:52Imagine having a kid, bring him into the world,
30:55and then saying, hey, we do this and we do that.
30:57We believe this and we believe that.
30:58The kid has no identity later in their life.
31:01They're going to be so confused.
31:02He's not going to know who the he is when he walks outside.
31:05But I don't think that has anything to do with religion.
31:08When it comes to a person's identity and raising a family,
31:12I don't want to raise my kids with two different religions
31:14in the house.
31:16It's never confused anyone.
31:18I don't think there's anything confusing about
31:21blending two beliefs.
31:23If you know what each belief is,
31:25I feel like that is more strengthening, in my opinion,
31:28because you're accepting each other for who you are.
31:31It's kind of got me thinking, like,
31:33is there some other, like, agenda?
31:35Is he going to change, like, you know,
31:37as a person towards her, which is, like,
31:40kind of scary at the same time.
31:42Yeah, exactly.
31:46If you got divorced, would you still be Jewish?
31:51Of course.
31:53In the Jewish religion, once you convert,
31:55there's no not converting.
31:57Right, but once she converts, she cannot convert
31:59because she's not born Jewish.
32:01Is that what you're saying?
32:02Once she's converted, that's it. It's over.
32:04She cannot be Jewish anymore on practicing.
32:07That's what I mean.
32:08But all her kids are going to be Jewish.
32:11Right.
32:12When she gets married,
32:13she'll be buried in a Jewish cemetery.
32:17So you won't be with dad or grandma or anything?
32:21No, no.
32:27I never thought about what would happen when I die,
32:30having to, you know, be buried in a different cemetery
32:33than my family.
32:35Catholic people, they believe in heaven and hell,
32:38but, like, there's no heaven and hell in Judaism.
32:41And that's worrisome,
32:43because we're not going to be together, like,
32:45in the afterworld.
32:48Like, we're not going to see each other.
32:50That really f***ed me up.
32:53I don't want to cry. I don't want to cry.
32:55Hold on.
32:57I'm emotional.
32:59I'm sorry.
33:02I'm sorry.
33:09I had a friend that was Christian, and she converted.
33:12She got married. They got divorced.
33:13She went right back to Christianity,
33:14doing Christians, whatever.
33:15She didn't care,
33:16because she literally just converted for him.
33:20Rose, she doesn't support the conversion,
33:22which pisses me off.
33:24Even though she's Jewish,
33:25she doesn't know anything about it.
33:26No, I think she was just giving her honest opinion
33:29that she thought I shouldn't have to...
33:30Well, her honest opinion sucks.
33:32I didn't have to...
33:33Her honest opinion sucks.
33:34She didn't want me to convert for someone,
33:36because she didn't, and she wants to let me know
33:39I don't have to do that either.
33:41I feel like it was disrespectful,
33:42especially when my girlfriend's sitting there
33:45that's going through this whole conversion process,
33:47and then she comes over and s***s on everything.
33:50I don't appreciate that.
33:51Well, I agree with her point of view
33:54and understand where she's coming from.
33:59Can you have a Christmas tree
34:00if you decorate it with, like, Hanukkah stuff?
34:02I don't want a Christmas tree.
34:08Lori has come so far in this conversion process.
34:11She has been putting in 110% effort.
34:15I do appreciate her hard work.
34:17At this point, I'm worried that Rose
34:19is going to put negativity into the thoughts of her family
34:22and Lori's mind.
34:23The last thing we need right now
34:25are doubts of her wanting to convert or not.
34:29♪♪♪♪
34:36Yes, I do leave s*** laying around.
34:38Like, toddlers do that.
34:39So you're calling me a toddler, huh?
34:41This is stuff that the regular society would know.
34:44Well, I didn't come from the regular society.
34:46I know, but you know now.
34:47You say, oh, you don't do nothing around the house.
34:50What do you do?
34:51If he's not ready to do this,
34:52then how are we going to bring this baby into the world?
34:55I'm done.
34:56Me too.
34:57♪♪♪♪♪
35:02♪♪♪♪♪
35:07Come on, Paolo.
35:08Paolo's excited.
35:10I'm going to jump over this.
35:11You're going to hurt your nuts.
35:13Oh, my gosh.
35:14One of these days, you're not going to be lucky.
35:17♪♪♪♪♪
35:24You're excited, huh?
35:26Yeah.
35:27Got to check out your path today.
35:29See what dogs have been out here pooping in your area.
35:33The Michigan trip was rough.
35:35Like, it is almost like Elmer was getting shunned again.
35:38Like, I think it really affected him a lot.
35:42You want to sit down?
35:43Yeah.
35:44Take a break.
35:45Quit picking at that.
35:47Since we've been back, Elmer is regressing hardcore.
35:50I'm back to the old Amish mindset.
35:53I've been trying to avoid a fight
35:55because I can tell he's hurting,
35:56but his bad habits are getting worse again.
35:58He is forgetting everything.
36:00I started to teach him about manners and hygiene
36:03and just picking up after himself.
36:06I have a baby coming,
36:07and I can't be a mother to a baby and him at the same time.
36:13We're about to have a baby,
36:16and just some of the stuff,
36:18I need you to step up a little bit
36:20because things are starting to surface,
36:22and I'm noticing things.
36:24Like, noticing what?
36:26Like, picking up after yourself.
36:29If you make a mess, clean it up.
36:32I mean, I have to remind you to brush your teeth
36:34and wash your hands every day.
36:37This is stuff that even, like, a regular 23-year-old
36:41in the regular society would know,
36:43like, to wash your hands.
36:44Well, I didn't come from the regular society.
36:45I know, but you know now.
36:48It has been exhausting
36:50trying to undo what he has always believed growing up
36:55about what a man's role and a woman's role is.
37:00How I grew up in the Amish life between men and women,
37:03I mean, it's like, we went to work,
37:05we worked our ass off, we come home,
37:06house is cleaned, laundry's done.
37:08Like, we wouldn't even get up from the table
37:10to do our own dishes,
37:11so that's what was ingrained for about 20 years of my life.
37:13Clearly.
37:14So that's what's in my head.
37:15If you would have grown up that lifestyle,
37:17you'd be different too.
37:18Yeah, but you left that lifestyle.
37:22I mean, heck, last week,
37:23you literally drew on the kitchen wall.
37:25Well, it's because I was on the phone
37:26and I wasn't thinking what I was doing,
37:27and I was just doing something.
37:31That's like a toddler behavior.
37:32Like, toddlers do that.
37:34So you're calling me a toddler, huh?
37:36Yeah, but, I mean, you don't draw on the wall.
37:37I'm still turning around, okay?
37:38I'm starting to stay awake.
37:42I'm worried that once the baby's here,
37:44Elmer's not going to be a help at all,
37:46and he's going to be an extra burden on top of that.
37:49I want a partner there to help me,
37:52somebody I can count on.
37:53If he's not ready to do this,
37:55then how are we going to bring this baby into the world?
37:57My biggest fear is I'm going to be stuck
38:00raising this kid all alone.
38:02How do you know?
38:03How do you know that I'm not going to be there for our kids?
38:06How do you know?
38:07I don't know that, but I'm just trying to come...
38:09Well, then why do you keep saying it?
38:11Because you can't even take care of yourself.
38:14Lindsey keeps saying that I can't even take care of myself,
38:17which is a total lie.
38:19In my 23 years,
38:21I have gone through more s***
38:23than a lot of these English people out here
38:26go through in their whole lifetime.
38:28Like, I have gone through living hell in the Amish.
38:31Like, going through, you know, s*** in the hole,
38:34bathing out of the same bath water as everybody else.
38:37I mean, I can take care of myself.
38:39I'm a hell of a lot tougher than I am.
38:41I can take care of myself.
38:42I'm a hell of a lot tougher and a lot stronger
38:44and in a stronger world than all these pussy men
38:46that she's used to.
38:49You point out all my flaws.
38:51You say, oh, you're childish.
38:53You don't do nothing around the house.
38:55You don't.
38:56That's a lie.
38:57You're lying right there because I do.
38:58What do you do?
39:00What do you do?
39:01I clean up the other night.
39:02One time you picked up your stuff
39:04and you want a f***ing sticker?
39:06Oh, good job, Elmer.
39:07You took care of your own s***.
39:09I'm seriously about, like, my wood's in.
39:11I'm done with this stuff.
39:14Like, I need a man to raise a baby with.
39:23Why did you marry me then?
39:25Elmer.
39:26Why did you marry me?
39:27Because I love you and this is just basic stuff
39:29and you can work on it.
39:30You can improve it.
39:31I do work on it.
39:32Yes, I do leave s*** laying around.
39:34What guy out there don't do that, huh?
39:36Elmer, a lot of guys don't.
39:37Responsible, older guys don't.
39:39There again, here we go.
39:40You're drooling on yourself right now.
39:42Because I'm f***ing pissed.
39:44Well, like, just grow up.
39:46You knew I was 23 when I married you.
39:48I didn't know you acted like a child.
39:52It's not right for Lindsey to take her anger out on me
39:55because she's the one that pushed the marriage.
39:58She's the one that pushed how fast she got pregnant
40:00because she said, my biological clock is ticking away.
40:04And plus, Lindsey knows that I grew up Amish
40:08and how I was before we were married,
40:11so she knew what she was getting herself into.
40:17Maybe you shouldn't have chose me to be your dad.
40:20Maybe not.
40:27That's f***ed up.
40:29I wish she would realize how much I sacrificed.
40:34I gave up everything for Lindsey.
40:37Everything in my Amish life,
40:39I gave up the love for my family for her.
40:42I left all those old relationships behind me
40:46just for Lindsey, and it's really hard on me.
40:49If giving up everything from my past,
40:51if that's not enough,
40:53I don't know if I'm ever gonna be enough for her.
40:57I'm done.
40:58Me too.
41:04Next time on Forbidden Love...
41:06Oh!
41:07Rabbi Block.
41:08All right, answer, answer.
41:09Rabbi, how are you?
41:12I've been eagerly waiting for Rabbi Block
41:16to let me know if I can take the conversion test.
41:19What's going on?
41:20Um...
41:21But also, he can say, I'm not ready,
41:24and you're never gonna make it as a Jew.
41:26I just, like, give up.
41:28What'd he say?
41:32Oh, here's Chris.
41:34Yay!
41:36What's up?
41:37How you doing?
41:38I'm about to move to Michigan to be with Lindsey,
41:41and I have to tell my parents something they don't want to hear.
41:46Thinking about converting, you know, to Islam.
41:49I might as well not die.
41:50Something you don't let nobody change about you.
41:56Me and Ashley, we struggle a lot.
41:58I told you, like...
41:59Yeah, he says that I don't obey him.
42:01Yes, you don't.
42:02I definitely know that if I don't convert,
42:05my marriage won't last much longer.
42:07But converting to Islam is still a huge decision for me.
42:10I still have a lot of concerns,
42:12like, do I always have to obey my husband?
42:15These are not from him.
42:16These are from Allah.
42:18You have to listen to your husband.
42:22Man, f*** you!
42:24What you done did?
42:25Delete all your mother-f***ing messages?
42:27I creeped up behind him,
42:29and he in the corner on his phone
42:31writing messages to women.
42:34Get out of my mother-f***ing face!
42:35F*** you.