Taskmaster NZ Season 5 Episode 7
Taskmaster NZ S05E07
Transcript
00:00Hello.
00:01And...
00:02Two!
00:03Come on!
00:04Woo-hoo!
00:05That's for the haters.
00:06Come here.
00:07Come here.
00:08Jiggle a little, Chief!
00:09Oh!
00:10Oh!
00:11Oh!
00:12Oh!
00:13Oh!
00:14Oh!
00:15Oh!
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00:25Oh!
00:26Oh!
00:27Oh!
00:28Oh!
00:29Oh!
00:30Oh!
00:31Oh!
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00:35Oh!
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00:45Oh!
00:46Tukutukatu and welcome to the Taskmaster!
00:47My name is Jeremy Wells and I believe it was a young carpenter from Nazareth who once Choice
00:48said, "'Do not judge others, and God will not judge you.'
00:49And to that I say, leave me alone Jesus, for I am the Taskmaster.'"
00:55Tonight, these five clowns, jesters and downright desperados will perform a series of tasks
01:06hoping to impress me and get their hands on this.
01:11And tonight, competing for this priceless trophy are Abbey Howells, Ben Hurley, Hayley
01:21Sproul, and Tom Sainsbury.
01:28And standing in for Tofinga Fepulia'i, ladies and gentlemen, Baa Baa.
01:36And here on my left is my right hand man, ladies and gentlemen, it's Paul Williams.
01:45Are we ready for the prize task?
01:47Tonight, we've asked our contestants to bring in the most delightful package from the sketchiest
01:53place.
01:54Okay, Ben Hurley, you seem like the kind of person who's visited a few sketchy places
01:59in your time.
02:00What have you brought in?
02:02Well, Jeremy, I used to work for a sketchy place called TV3.
02:09Oh, shots fired!
02:14I was 22 years of age, and I stole the dot from the TV3 sign.
02:20Wow.
02:21I've had this in my possession for over 20 years.
02:28It's one of my proudest possessions, but I'm willing to put it up tonight.
02:32Where do you keep it at home?
02:34Oh, in a box.
02:37Okay, Hayley, what did you bring in?
02:39I thought of one of my favourite packages of all time, and so I got a sketchy done of
02:45Jason Mamoa's package.
02:50This is, I've actually scanned it because the original is in my bedroom on Aaron's side.
02:54Okay, so is that so you, when you lean across, you sort of...
02:58So when I turn to him and say, like, I love you, the eyeline is similar.
03:03Baa Baa, you are in here for Tofinga.
03:07What have you brought in?
03:08Yeah, probably stuffed it up already.
03:11I've brought in a sketchy package from a good place.
03:13So, in Sāmoan culture, when you're dealing with money, we give envelopes with the name
03:19on it.
03:20So I've brought in an envelope with my name on it.
03:23But inside...
03:24An invitation to an investigation meeting.
03:30Yeah, from my old job when I got snapped drinking wine.
03:34Years ago, years ago, last year.
03:40The best thing I think about this is that it's incident one, which says to me that there's
03:45more incidents than one.
03:47I like to leave things to the imagination.
03:50Tom!
03:52Okay, so my local fish and chippery, it's a sketchy place because it's got a D rating.
04:02They do a mean spring roll and mean chips.
04:04There we go, there's the spring roll.
04:07Is that a spring roll?
04:10That's a D rated spring roll, I'll tell you now.
04:13And also, if you want to catch up on Brad and Jennifer's divorce, they've got the magazines
04:19for you.
04:20Abby, what did you bring in?
04:24Well, I also went to a sketchy place, aka an art studio, and I had something commissioned.
04:32This delightful package.
04:50Where's your hand?
04:53No, no, no.
04:54He's rounding second base, I tell you.
04:57What's happening in Paul's downstairs?
04:59What is that?
05:00Well, you know what's happening.
05:03You said for this.
05:11Five points, Abby.
05:15Jeremy, we're back, baby.
05:20One point for Ben Hurley.
05:23That's my least favourite part of the TV3 logo, that red dot.
05:27Also, Bubba's made no sense because she got the thing around the wrong way as well.
05:31So, two points for Bubba.
05:33Three points for Hayley and Jason Momoa's package.
05:36And four points for Tom and the Fish and Chips.
05:41Okay, Paul, I am ready for my first proper task of the show.
05:46Bad luck comes in threes.
05:48Incredible feats come in tens.
05:53Knock, knock.
05:55Who's there?
05:56Tom.
05:57Tom who?
05:58Tom Sainsbury.
05:59Hey, Peter.
06:00Hello, BH.
06:01I've got a task for you to finish.
06:03I have a task for you.
06:05Oh, that makes sense.
06:07Do the most incredible...
06:08Here's your task.
06:09Here's your task, Abby.
06:10Thank you, Paul.
06:11I have a task for you.
06:12Got it.
06:13Yeah.
06:14It's the same thing, but...
06:15Let's do the most incredible...
06:16Your task, Tom.
06:17Okay, great.
06:18Imagine your wheelie bin at the end of the week.
06:20Here's your task.
06:21Go on, one more.
06:25I have a task for you.
06:26You then be ten.
06:28Do the most incredible thing ten times.
06:31Most incredible thing done ten times wins.
06:34You have 45 minutes.
06:36Your time starts now.
06:43I'm ready for five incredible things ten times.
06:46Who are we seeing first?
06:48They're both certified tens.
06:51It's Ben and Abby.
06:53I can do a handspring.
06:54Well, not really.
06:55I can do, like, a cartwheel handspring.
06:57That's pretty incredible.
06:58Yeah.
06:59Like, do that ten times.
07:00Well, it'd be pretty incredible if I did, like,
07:02sick parkour stunts.
07:05Okay, I'm going to attempt to do ten in a row
07:08with added little things in the middle.
07:13One.
07:18Two.
07:21One.
07:22Two.
07:24That went in.
07:26Three.
07:29Four.
07:31Three.
07:33Four.
07:35Four.
07:36Wait, what's this?
07:38Oh, my God.
07:39It's a letter from the captain of the Titanic.
07:42That's an incredible find.
07:44What does it say?
07:46Oh, my God.
07:48Five.
07:50It'd be wild if I found nine more incredible artifacts.
07:53Whoa, Paul.
07:57Wait, where did I put it?
08:00It's a kiwi.
08:01Yeah.
08:03Whoa, Paul, look at this.
08:05It's a little kiwi, a brand-new species.
08:08That's incredible.
08:10I'm not even going to go.
08:12Six.
08:15Seven.
08:17Oh, so close.
08:20Why did I put this one in?
08:22This is the key to the vault in the Tower of London.
08:26This is the cutlass of the world's most famous pirate.
08:29Aladdin's lamp.
08:30This is the childhood artifact of Queen Victoria.
08:33It's the sands of father time.
08:35It's counting down from when we'll all die.
08:39Yes!
08:41Seven.
08:44Eight.
08:45Nine.
08:47Another discovery.
08:49Whoa, how many is that?
08:51It's heaps.
08:55And ten.
08:58It's a skeleton of Jean-Pierre.
09:01Nobody knew where his body ended up.
09:04It's a message in a bottle.
09:06It's another message from the captain of the Titanic.
09:09It says,
09:11It's another message from the captain of the Titanic.
09:14It says,
09:17Incredible.
09:22Addie, I think it speaks to the different minds of our comedians here on Taskmaster
09:27that you started off doing ten incredible parkour moves
09:30and ended up finding ten artifacts.
09:34Identifying ten incredible artifacts.
09:38Because to the average person, that just would have been a bottle.
09:41But I looked at it and I said, I know this is from the captain of the Titanic.
09:46Yeah, so you found out that he actually sunk the Titanic on purpose.
09:49And...
09:50And he likes piss play.
09:51Yeah.
09:53Ben Hurley was pretty incredible.
09:55I mean, for a 115kg, 48 year old man,
10:02you move very well.
10:03A little bit of spice added to those numbers.
10:06But I kind of feel like you undid your good work with the flips
10:10with some really ordinary work in the other bit.
10:13Look, the ten incredible things were the handsprings.
10:16I was just adding a little bit of extra for experts.
10:19I was impressed.
10:20Especially for a 120kg, 59 year old man.
10:24A burly unit like you.
10:27A big unit like you.
10:28No, I'm a 60 year old, 400kg man.
10:31Alright, 20 incredible actions down.
10:3530 more to go.
10:36We'll see you after these incredible ads.
10:50Nomai Hukimai, welcome back to Taskmaster.
10:53Before the break, we were watching our comedians
10:55try to perform one incredible task ten times in a row.
11:00So far, we've seen Ben do a bunch of flips,
11:02and Abby showed us a bunch of crap she'd chucked in the woods.
11:07Who have we got next, Paul?
11:10He's the most far-right comedian on the show,
11:14in terms of where he's sitting and his political beliefs.
11:18It's Tom Sainsbury.
11:20What is incredible?
11:21When I say incredible, you think...
11:24No.
11:25Should I do that to you?
11:26Yeah.
11:27When I say incredible, you think...
11:29Time travel.
11:31Whoa.
11:32OK, Paul, I'm off to time travel to ten different eras
11:36in my incredible time machine.
11:47Oh my God.
11:49I just killed a T-Rex.
11:51And you brought back its feet.
11:52Yeah.
11:53Seems kind of inhumane.
11:55It does, I'm regretting it now.
11:56Put up a good fight.
11:59Guess that's how dinosaurs really went out.
12:02Hunted by time travellers.
12:04Oh, Paul.
12:05I just went and told Mary that she's pregnant.
12:08Wow.
12:09She took the news remarkably well.
12:11Oh my God.
12:13I just went and fought in the Crusades.
12:15There you go, there's a memento.
12:17Oh, boy.
12:19I just went and made love to Jesse James.
12:21Congrats.
12:22Too many beans.
12:25Oh, I just went and arrested Jack the Ripper.
12:27You will not believe who it is.
12:29Who is it?
12:30I can't say, I'm sworn to secrecy.
12:32Oh my gosh, that was amazing.
12:34I've just been partying at Woodstock.
12:36Groovy.
12:37Oh, that was amazing.
12:39I just went and hung out with Prince, Madonna and Cyndi Lauper.
12:42Wow.
12:45I've just been to 2025.
12:48Good news?
12:49Do you have any kind of
12:51totalitarian tendencies, Paul?
12:53Not that I know of, but...
12:56Oh, oh God.
12:58I've just been to the future.
13:00What's it like?
13:01There's lots of laughing.
13:02Like live action role play.
13:04Oh, is that what you're doing?
13:05Yeah, yeah.
13:07Tom, is that you?
13:08I've just come from the distant future,
13:10or the distant past,
13:12where only amoebas live.
13:17Oh.
13:18Yeah, just making sure I'm back in the present.
13:20I'll do whatever you want, any of your bidding.
13:23Okay.
13:24Overlord.
13:26Thank you, Tom.
13:27Thank you, Paul.
13:30We should probably discuss the Crusades.
13:34Yes.
13:35Controversial.
13:36Which side did you fight on,
13:37the Christian side or the Muslim side?
13:40Wow.
13:45Do you want to just distance yourself from him?
13:47We're just going to move over here.
13:48I was more their kind of...
13:50I was more of a pilferer.
13:54Any side, I'll take any of those.
13:57Paul, I am ready for another incredible thing.
14:00How about 20 more incredible things?
14:02Here's Hayley Antelfinger.
14:05Most incredible thing.
14:06Got a piano?
14:07Like a keyboard, yeah?
14:08Yep.
14:09You'll play it ten times?
14:10Ten times.
14:11I'm quite good at parallel parking.
14:13That's pretty incredible.
14:15Here's the first song.
14:19It's quite incredible because it's a duet, two people.
14:22I'm playing it by myself.
14:24Just pretend this is like a busy inner city street
14:27and I've been circling the block for hours.
14:29Oh look, there's a park.
14:41One.
14:42What's another style you like?
14:43See if we can get ten styles, eh?
14:45Jazz.
14:47Oh my God, the eulogy's starting.
14:49Oh my God, my grandfather's going to be so upset.
14:52I'm a bit out, but for a funeral I'd say that's good.
14:55What's another style you like?
14:56Blues.
15:02Oh God, look, here's a park.
15:03Oh my God, fantastic.
15:04Oh, that's great.
15:08Hamlet's ready.
15:16Sorry I'm late.
15:17It's not really acceptable, you're so late.
15:19No, no, let me just park.
15:20I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, sorry.
15:22It's a good park, but I've been here for three hours.
15:24That was an incredible park.
15:29I'm from Yugoslavia.
15:31Oh my gosh.
15:32Thank you, sir, thank you so much.
15:35Welcome to New Zealand.
15:39You stupid boy, you stay there.
15:40Don't move, fool.
15:42Wait till you've moved to parallel park.
15:43Get in the car.
15:47Oh, OK.
15:51Here we go.
15:54Ma'am, I don't think you should be behind a wheel.
15:56That's ten soles, eh?
15:57I don't think that's ten.
16:01Is that one?
16:02Yeah, we'll make that one, Lee.
16:03Oh, oh God, I'm going to have to parallel park.
16:08Oh my God, a baby's coming in.
16:10Oh my God, a baby's coming in.
16:16Incredible.
16:17This is a horror one.
16:19Hey, I'm coming to get you, Paul.
16:24And then I cut your head off.
16:26Mum, Dad, when this car stops, a bomb is going to go off,
16:30but I can't keep driving forever.
16:32This is it.
16:33What are you doing? Don't park.
16:35Goodbye, Paul.
16:41Oh!
16:43Look at it, Paul!
16:44One more.
16:45This was Mozart's final piece before he died.
16:49OK.
17:00You could have made it a little bit more difficult
17:02by perhaps putting the other cars a little closer together.
17:05We did.
17:06You can see it in this,
17:07but each time we made the gap smaller and smaller,
17:09but I'm glad that we actually focused on the character work.
17:13Not to be a snitch, but Hayley did nine parks.
17:20That's actually, um, bullshit, Paul.
17:24Well, I mean, we showed them all and there were nine.
17:27Well, then count my characters.
17:29Well, again, nine.
17:33Baba, did you know Tuffinger could play the piano like that?
17:36Hell yeah.
17:37He's raised in the church.
17:39His whole body moved more than he has in this entire season of Taskmaster.
17:43It's just with his fingers there moving.
17:45Are you mocking my friend?
17:47No.
17:50He's really enjoyed making Paul move quite a lot so far.
17:53Good, it's about time you moved!
17:57And I was moved by the quality of his piano playing.
18:00Same, it was so good.
18:02Like, every song that he did, all ten of them,
18:05he did ten.
18:12So, how do you want to score it?
18:14Normally I would disqualify Hayley for not completing the task properly.
18:17I'll give you a point for that.
18:19Thank you, Jeremy.
18:20Two for Ben.
18:21Because, no, I thought the flips were amazing,
18:23but I think you undid them with every move that you did in between it.
18:27Abby, three points for you,
18:29because I learnt some interesting things
18:31about the captain of the Titanic with the piss play.
18:34Two points for Tuffinger, because impressive piano play from him.
18:37And five points for Tom Sainsbury, Time Travelling.
18:45So, should we look at the scoreboard?
18:47Currently out in first with nine points, it's Tom Sainsbury.
18:55OK, let's keep things moving, Paul.
18:57What have you got for me?
18:58Bravo, Charlie.
18:59Take off your uniform and pour yourself a kilo of whiskey
19:02at the Foxtrot Golf Hotel in India.
19:15Paul?
19:17I see a task.
19:20Paul's not here.
19:22Follow Paul's instructions.
19:23You may tell him to stop or ask him to start again.
19:28Hello, Paul.
19:29Hello, Paul.
19:30Hi, Paul.
19:31I'm ready for some instructions.
19:34Charlie.
19:35Oscar.
19:36Hey, Oscar.
19:37Do you know where Paul is?
19:39November.
19:40January.
19:41February.
19:42March.
19:43Sierra.
19:44Tango.
19:48OK, quick show of hands, who knows the NATO alphabet?
19:55Of course.
19:56Of course.
19:57No-one else?
19:58I know bits of it.
19:59You probably know most of it.
20:00They've had sex, Jeremy.
20:03I've had Sierra echo xylophone.
20:07And I've had a fun time with my dad in the garage.
20:11I mean...
20:13I'm sorry.
20:14Sorry.
20:15Learning the codes.
20:19OK, who are we going to see tackle the task first, Paul?
20:23Once again, up first we have Bravo Echo November
20:26and Alpha Bravo Bravo Yankee.
20:29Charlie.
20:30Yeah, C.
20:31Oscar.
20:32Uh-huh.
20:33November.
20:35Sierra.
20:36S.
20:37Tango.
20:38Const.
20:39Romeo.
20:40R.
20:41Uniform.
20:42Yep.
20:43Charlie.
20:45OK, yep.
20:47Tango.
20:48Construct.
20:50Alpha.
20:51A.
20:52Papa.
20:53Alpha.
20:54Papa.
20:55P.
20:56Echo.
20:57This is going to be paper.
20:58Romeo.
20:59Yep, it's way ahead of you there.
21:00Papa.
21:01Lima.
21:02Alpha.
21:03Plane, paper plane.
21:04November.
21:05Echo.
21:06Uh-huh.
21:07Alpha.
21:08November.
21:09Uh-huh.
21:10Delta.
21:11D.
21:12Tango.
21:13India.
21:14Bravo.
21:15Yankee.
21:16Sierra.
21:17Alpha.
21:18Tango.
21:19India.
21:20Bravo.
21:21Foxtrot.
21:22Alpha.
21:23Sierra.
21:24Tango.
21:25Fastest wins.
21:26Echo.
21:27Fastest.
21:28Sierra.
21:29You can stop.
21:32Not very good at planes.
21:46Complete.
21:47I've stopped the clock.
21:48Thank you, Ben.
21:49Do you think anyone will beat that?
21:51Wouldn't have thought so.
21:53You'll see it, but actually I figured it out before you even finished.
22:02That is the most bored I've ever seen a contestant on the show, Ben.
22:07What they didn't show was Paul had to restart three times.
22:10So I was a bit bored by the end.
22:12It was impressive though.
22:13No pen straight off the top of the dome.
22:16Nah, must have not been hung over that day.
22:19Abby, you didn't lose focus for a second.
22:21You were right on the task there by the looks of it.
22:23Yeah, it's not often you feel, oh, I'm actually doing well here.
22:27And a dangerous train of thoughts.
22:30Okay, but how long did it take Abby and Ben to put the plane in the bin?
22:34Ben, 10 minutes and 22 seconds.
22:37Abby, 6 minutes 57.
22:40Speed demons.
22:41Ben, can I just say when the light hit your face,
22:44absolute delightful skin, what's your skincare routine?
22:47Yeah, it's good, eh?
22:48Yeah, what is your routine?
22:50For an 80-year-old man.
22:53Um, water.
22:56Okay, I can't wait to watch more comedians screw up some paper planes
23:00and throw them in a bin.
23:01Don't turn the TV off now or you'll be throwing your life in the bin.
23:05More Taskmaster after this.
23:07APPLAUSE
23:18Nau mai anō. Welcome back to Taskmaster.
23:21Before the break, our comedians were told
23:23to blindly follow Paul's instructions,
23:26something nobody should ever do in real life.
23:29Who's next then, Paul?
23:30Ben and Abby set some very fast times.
23:32Will these three copy that?
23:34It's Tom, Tofinga and Hayley, over and out.
23:37Construct a paper plane and take it to the balcony.
23:40Sierra.
23:41Scrunch it up and throw it in the bin.
23:44Foxtrot.
23:45Alpha.
23:46Ba.
23:47Sierra.
23:49Fastest wins.
23:50Tango.
23:51Tango.
23:52Eco.
23:53Eco.
23:54Sierra.
23:56Tango.
23:57Tango.
23:58Whiskey.
24:01Whiskey.
24:02Whiskey.
24:04Lima.
24:06Lima.
24:09Oscar.
24:12Sierra.
24:14Thank God I stayed.
24:16Eco.
24:18Sierra.
24:19Fastest loses.
24:22Time to go.
24:25Slowly.
24:26So the fastest loses?
24:27Yeah.
24:28What am I missing?
24:29Hi.
24:33Oh no.
24:35I've stopped the clock.
24:36Just wait here for a bit.
24:38So you're taking your time?
24:39Yeah.
24:40That makes sense.
24:41Nice day, isn't it?
24:42Really nice.
24:43Perfect landing.
24:44Thank you, but I should have gone and had a beer or something.
24:47Like, I was too fast.
24:49Time is still going?
24:50Yeah.
24:51Alright.
24:52I might as well try and make it an interesting way of getting it in the bin.
24:58You just kick it into the gutter?
24:59Might have to make a new plane.
25:01Okay.
25:02The vegetarian option is unbelievable.
25:04That's chicken.
25:05That's a chicken?
25:06Yeah.
25:07Food, man.
25:08I thought it was a cucumber.
25:10So when do you think you'll put the...
25:12Not too late, bro.
25:13Oh, you want to do it later.
25:14I'm going to have to win this one.
25:23Okay, Paul.
25:24It is now time.
25:28And all I've got to do is just put it in.
25:31Do you think it's long enough?
25:36Easy.
25:38Stop the clock.
25:39I reckon I've won this one.
25:43If I remember these on this episode, will you remember the bin?
25:47I'll remember the bin.
25:48We'll just pause here for now, then.
25:49I'll keep the clock going.
25:51Over and out.
25:52Over and out.
25:53Stop the clock.
25:58Abby and Ben, how do you feel now?
26:00A little bit silly, Jeremy.
26:03I still think Tom was faster.
26:06I'm arguably the biggest idiot of them all.
26:11You actually are.
26:12I figured it out and then I did it anyway.
26:15Yeah.
26:16So Tom was 24 seconds faster than Ben.
26:24It was so strange, Barbara,
26:26to see Tofinga do really, really well at a task
26:30that you had to do really slowly.
26:34So surprising.
26:35He's currently winning it, unless Hayley can complete the task.
26:39Do you have a bin?
26:40I do have the bin.
26:41Yeah, I just need to finish my task now.
26:43I'll bring you the bin.
26:48I know this is a huge pain in the balls,
26:50but...
26:57There you go.
26:59I have stopped the clock.
27:01The time to be slower than was Tofinga's time
27:05of 69 days, 2 hours, 41 minutes and 10 seconds.
27:09Hayley has just come in.
27:11101 days, 7 hours and 16 minutes.
27:14Wow, OK.
27:16Yes.
27:17That will mean one point for Abby, two points for Tom,
27:21three points for Ben, four points for Tofinga
27:24and five points for Hayley.
27:28OK, I'm ready for another task, PW.
27:30It's time for another task.
27:32You should enjoy this one for the length it takes you
27:35to sing Happy Birthday twice.
27:38Hi.
27:39Hello, Tom.
27:40Hello, Tofinga.
27:41Paul.
27:42Hello, Abby.
27:43Hello, Paul.
27:44A pleasure to see you again.
27:45Likewise.
27:46Where's the envelope?
27:47The tasks never come in envelopes.
27:50What's happening?
27:51What am I meant to do?
27:52Oh, just the task.
27:54Oh, I know where it is.
27:57Ooh.
27:58Ooh.
27:59Ooh.
28:00Ooh.
28:01Ooh.
28:02Ooh.
28:03Ooh.
28:04Ooh.
28:05Ooh.
28:06Ooh.
28:07Mama mia.
28:09Got a good feeling about this one, bro.
28:11OK, here we go.
28:13Make soap.
28:15Best soap wins.
28:17You've 29 seconds to order your ingredients.
28:20And 20 minutes to make the soap.
28:23Your time starts now.
28:25OK, so I need a fat.
28:27What kind of fat?
28:28Vegetable fat or animal fat.
28:30I would like coconut oil, please.
28:32Lemon.
28:33Some soap from the supermarket.
28:35What, a bar of soap?
28:36Bar of soap.
28:37Um, soap.
28:38A bar of soap.
28:39Like a sweet essence of some description.
28:41It can just be specific.
28:42Peach.
28:43Some salt.
28:44Shea butter.
28:45Peppermint.
28:46Ruccina and ice cream.
28:48Glitter.
28:49$20 in a note.
28:50Give me some chocolate and some bananas.
28:52Oats.
28:53Saffron.
28:54Grain flakes.
28:55Your time starts now.
28:58Make soap.
29:01OK.
29:03Make soap?
29:05Make soap.
29:06So what's soap made out of?
29:07Fat.
29:08So it's made out of fat.
29:09You've got 15 seconds.
29:11To order the ingredients?
29:12Yes.
29:13Oh, from you?
29:14Yes.
29:1510 seconds.
29:16I need fat and I need...
29:17What fat?
29:19Cow fat and...
29:20Five seconds.
29:21And some food colouring.
29:22Some pink food colouring.
29:27I think that's all I need.
29:28I think I just churn it or something.
29:29Or is that butter?
29:30Oh, my God.
29:31I don't know.
29:32I want to make it very clear that if anyone makes soap with soap, there's no points.
29:41Oh, interesting.
29:42No points.
29:43So a few people did order soap.
29:45I saw that.
29:46I think keep an open mind, Jeremy.
29:48Hey, let's let the taskmaster do his job, shall we?
29:52OK, Paul.
29:53Who's soap making are we going to see first?
29:56These three were named after the final stage of the hand washing process.
30:00It's Abbey Towels, Hayley Towel and Taufinga Fepuleai.
30:06Oh, my ingredients.
30:08Wonderful.
30:09I knew I should have gone to my science classes.
30:12Any of the classes really.
30:14I should have gone to school full stop.
30:17I've put in too many oats.
30:19You can never have too many oats.
30:21Totes.
30:22Maybe that's the name of the bar.
30:24Totes Oatsoap.
30:25I've got saffron.
30:26I've got saffron.
30:27For elegance and that touch of luxury.
30:30You usually put about a teaspoon in there.
30:33And what that helps is actually, um,
30:35it energises the interprotocols.
30:37Yeah, also the scientific terms you're probably not familiar with.
30:40Some peppermint essential oils.
30:43I feel like no one actually really needs to know
30:45that I've grated soap into the soap.
30:47The majority of it is shea butter.
30:49So you want us to get that out?
30:50Yes, please.
30:51OK.
30:53That's some clean money, I think.
30:59I sort of have just made oats.
31:03You've just got to let it set.
31:05Just a couple of minutes.
31:06I think that's quite good.
31:07Get it in the freezer.
31:14I guarantee you, every bottle of soap that you buy from me
31:19has a $20 bill in it.
31:21What is the smell of your soap?
31:23What does it smell like to you?
31:25Like a 13-year-old boy.
31:27How do you know what a 13-year-old boy smells like?
31:30It's probably set now, eh?
31:32Oh, gosh. OK.
31:36Oh, my gosh, it's beautiful.
31:43Thank you, Toffinger.
31:44Thank you, Pop.
31:45I love every moment by soap.
31:51OK.
32:10Baba, can you please explain to me what Toffinger meant
32:14when he said, and I quote,
32:17Just like when your phoreticus is mokariki.
32:22It falls apart, so what he did was put it together.
32:25Makes sense.
32:27Shall we talk about Hayley's soap?
32:29Recycled soap with a climate lens.
32:32But you'll feel your hands are softer than...
32:34Feel his hands.
32:35They're softer than ever before, the oats and the shea butter.
32:38Oh, like you haven't done this before.
32:40Come on.
32:42They are very soft.
32:43Very soft, right?
32:44Also very sweaty.
32:53It's been quite the show for us.
32:55It's been quite the show.
32:57Abby, you had money in yours.
32:59You cannot think of a bad thing to say about my soap.
33:03I like the liquid soap.
33:04Yeah.
33:05OK, we're in agreement for once.
33:07Yeah, you didn't try and turn it into a bar.
33:08And there was no blood in it.
33:09I didn't mention murder or dying in childbirth one time.
33:12That was so good.
33:13The only thing that was massacred was bacteria.
33:16Yeah, exactly, Ben.
33:18OK, more soap when we come back after these ads,
33:21at least one of which will probably be about soap.
33:24We'll see you soon.
33:37Welcome back to Taskmaster.
33:39What's happening, Paul?
33:41Our contestants are making soap
33:43using unique and inventive ingredients like soap.
33:48Wait, Ben, what's your skincare routine?
33:52Actually, here's a lot of pink fat.
33:55I am very much looking forward to just seeing your pink fat.
33:59Oh, buy me a drink first.
34:03Jesus.
34:05Yours had so many bits of, like, food in it.
34:08Might as well put ketchup in there.
34:10Mustard, old mustard hands.
34:12All right, pink fat.
34:14I'm ready for more soap, Paul.
34:16Who have we got next?
34:17They're the two contestants who requested BFAT,
34:20and one of them requested almost nothing else.
34:23It's Tom and Ben.
34:25Hi, Tom.
34:27Here we go, perfect.
34:29This is us.
34:30This is all I ordered, isn't it?
34:31Yes.
34:32Yeah.
34:33I couldn't find peach essence, so I got peach vape juice.
34:36Oh, it smells so good.
34:37So I think you just, like, get this to a certain temperature,
34:40and it, like, reduces for ages, then you put some colour in.
34:43Here we go.
34:44This smells so bad, but anyway, there we go.
34:47It sounds and smells like a fish and chip shop in here.
34:50Look at that.
34:51This is genius.
34:52Dying for a vape, though.
34:54Unscented, hypoallergenic pink soap.
34:58Now I'm just going to put this in the freezer and hope for the best.
35:00You've got six and a half minutes.
35:02Go, set, be soap.
35:04Oh.
35:07It's not long until the Warriors start playing again.
35:11You know what? Some fat's dropped onto the bottom of the freezer.
35:15Guess what it smells like.
35:17Peach?
35:18You got it.
35:19It does smell like peach.
35:21What?
35:22I've made soap.
35:26OK, nothing's happened.
35:28I'm going to be honest with you, Paul, I don't think this is soap.
35:31What is it?
35:32Cold pink fat.
35:35OK, thank you, Ben.
35:36Thanks.
35:37I'm going to say, Ben, I think that Totes Oats soap might sell
36:03a little bit more than cold pink fat.
36:06How popular were you on the way home with dogs?
36:10Tom, you actually accidentally made soap.
36:14And it was kind of a heart shape to celebrate, obviously,
36:16what's going on here.
36:20So who used soap in their soaps?
36:23Two people.
36:24Twofinger, obviously.
36:26And Hayley did great.
36:27A little bit of soap.
36:28Tiny, tiny.
36:29I know.
36:30But unfortunately, no points for either of you guys.
36:32Jeremy!
36:34Two points for that horrific stuff.
36:36That's crazy!
36:37That is insanity!
36:41Four points for Abby with the liquid soap with the 20 bucks in it.
36:44And five points for Tom's accidental soap that he made.
36:48No, I'm not having it.
36:52OK, this is unconventional, Paul.
36:54But I'd like to have a sneaky fourth proper task in here,
36:59if we can.
37:00Wow, you're a rebel.
37:01And that's what I love about you.
37:04Here's another task.
37:05It's time to face the music.
37:18Hello, Twofinger.
37:19Hey, Paul.
37:20Feeling good?
37:22Feeling good.
37:23OK.
37:24Make a new musical instrument.
37:26It must be playable and smaller than a dog.
37:28You have 30 minutes.
37:30Your time starts now.
37:33I'm just going to grab everything and bring it down.
37:35What do you mean, everything?
37:37My crafts.
37:44Right, so whose instrument are we going to look at first?
37:47The whole band's back together.
37:49Here's everyone.
37:51Get down, boy.
37:52Get down.
37:53Why'd you say that?
37:54Just to show you that this is an Irish wolfhound.
37:57Oh, like one standing up?
37:58Yeah.
37:59Do you know what this is?
38:01What?
38:02A panjo.
38:04It's really good.
38:05I just need a comb.
38:06A comb?
38:07Comb and tissues.
38:08What about, like, some kind of hat?
38:10You know how, like, Australians with a cork hat?
38:13OK, so this is my centerpiece and my muse.
38:16It's a poor man's instrument.
38:18My uncle used to play it all the time.
38:20If I could get that in there.
38:22Careful not to stab yourself.
38:24Yeah.
38:26Yeah.
38:29You know what you'd play on a panjo?
38:31What?
38:32Walk and roll.
38:33He's on fire.
38:40See?
38:41So what's actually happening?
38:42Because it seems like you're just making the noise with your mouth.
38:45The top part is for the lower notes.
38:48And the other part's the higher notes.
38:52That's quite good.
38:55I think this is, like, a cursed instrument.
38:58Like, when I put this on, I'm going to completely change.
39:02Whoa.
39:08OK, I think this is it.
39:09Does this instrument have a name?
39:11The Paul Demonium Tree.
39:13The Red Death.
39:14The Mellow Capello.
39:17It's the Comb Tissue.
39:19The what?
39:20Comb Tissue.
39:21Comb Tissue.
39:22Yeah, Comb Tissue.
39:28Being able to pun you there, that was amazing.
39:30Yeah, really good.
39:31One day you guys should go away for the weekend and just pun together.
39:34Jealous, are we?
39:36Yeah, wow.
39:38What a cuck.
39:46So here's some still images.
39:48Oh, my goodness, Abby, what have you done there?
39:51You've got to love me for who I am.
39:54And Tefinga, the Comb Tissue.
39:57Sorry, what's it called?
39:58The Comb Tissue.
39:59Oh, for some reason I thought he said the Cum Tissue.
40:05Tom Sainsbury.
40:06Sorry.
40:08So do you want to score them, Jeremy?
40:10I would love to score them, but I actually probably want to hear them first.
40:14And we have one thrilling part to go, so stay tuned.
40:22Good to see you.
40:28Good to honour.
40:29Welcome back to Taskmaster.
40:30Or as some people call it, New Zealand doesn't have talent.
40:33We're nearing the end of the episode.
40:35Paul, could you give us a scoreboard update, please?
40:39Abby's in second with 13, but in first with a three-point lead,
40:43it's Tom Sainsbury.
40:45OK, the stakes are high.
40:47Get on stage, everyone, for the live task.
40:52Oh, I like the look of this, Paul.
40:55Who's going to read out the task tonight?
40:57Tom Sainsbury.
40:58Ooh!
40:59Congrats.
41:00Thanks.
41:01On your original instrument, perform a solo with this jazz band.
41:06Best solo wins.
41:08Your solo must last for 15 seconds.
41:13Take it away, fellas.
41:16Please welcome to the stage, on his panjo, it's Ben Hurley.
41:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:24Give it up for Ben Hurley, everybody.
41:27Please welcome to the stage, on the mellow cappello,
41:31it's Hayden.
41:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:34Hayden, how are you?
41:35I'm fine, thanks.
41:36How are you?
41:37I'm fine.
41:38I'm fine.
41:39I'm fine.
41:40I'm fine.
41:41I'm fine.
41:42I'm fine.
41:43I'm fine.
41:44I'm fine.
41:45I'm fine.
41:46I'm fine.
41:47I'm fine.
41:48I'm fine.
41:49I'm fine.
41:50I'm fine.
41:51I'm fine.
41:52Please welcome to the stage, on the mellow cappello,
41:55it's Hayley Sproul.
41:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:03A-one, a-two, a-scooby-dooby-doo.
42:06LAUGHTER
42:10LAUGHTER
42:19Hayley Sproul, mellow cappello.
42:22Please welcome to the stage, on the poldemonium tree,
42:26it's Tom Sainsbury.
42:28CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:40LAUGHTER
42:46Tom Sainsbury.
42:48CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:51Up next, on the comb tissue, it's Bubba.
42:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:57Take it away.
42:59HE HUMS
43:02HE SCREAMS
43:04HE HUMS
43:08HE SCREAMS
43:15HE HUMS
43:17Bubba, everybody, on the comb tissue.
43:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:21And last but not least, on the rib diff, it's Abbey Howells.
43:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:30LAUGHTER
43:33LAUGHTER
43:39Oh, she's lost the body thing.
43:43SHE SCREAMS
43:45Somebody stop her.
43:49She's smoking.
43:51CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:55Now, bring it home, everybody.
43:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:13OK, come on down, and we'll score it.
44:16Another round of applause for our musical comedians.
44:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:24That was impressive. I really enjoyed that.
44:26It's going to be... Oh, goodness me, there's that death mask again.
44:29I can't take it off.
44:31OK, I'm going to have to score this.
44:33One for you, Hayley.
44:35Outrageous.
44:37Two for Ben with the panjo.
44:39The only actual instrument.
44:41Three for the death mask and the performance on the death mask
44:44I thought was particularly good.
44:45Four for Tom.
44:47And I'm going to go five for Bubba.
44:49You are out of your mind!
44:51You have lost your mind.
44:53You have lost your mind.
44:55What?!
44:57It's over. He's lost it.
44:59Before you announce the winner of Ep 7,
45:02how are we looking for the whole series?
45:05In first equal, both on 107, it's Hayley and Tom.
45:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:11So very close. Very close.
45:14A huge turnaround for Tom Sainsbury,
45:16who has also won the episode with 20 points.
45:19Wow!
45:21Congratulations, Tom.
45:23You are now the proud owner of five delightful items
45:26from sketchy places.
45:28Please go and collect your items and remember
45:30that if police ask you where you got them from,
45:32you know absolutely nothing.
45:34CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:37Another episode down, and we've learnt more than ever before.
45:41We learnt never to assume the end of the task.
45:44We learnt that fat might be one ingredient in soap,
45:47but probably shouldn't be the only ingredient.
45:50And most importantly, we've learnt that Tom Sainsbury
45:53is the winner of Episode 7.
45:56See you next time. Ka kite anō.
45:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:15Television has absolutely peaked.
46:18See what this show does to you?
46:20Makes you completely paranoid about everything.
46:22No need to be paranoid.
46:24You make a good girl. Thank you.
46:26Getting quite good at doing well on tasks,
46:28but you have no idea what's going on.