Top 5 Most Powerful Speeches You Need To Hear Today Goalcast
YOU WILL BE MOTIVATED AFTER HEARING THIS. The 5 Most Powerful and Moving Speeches You Definitely Need To Listen To Today.
Which One Is Your Favorite?
Which One Is Your Favorite?
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00:00The wisest person I ever met in my life, a third grade dropouts.
00:13Wisest and dropout in the same sentence is rather oxymoronic, like jumbo shrimp.
00:23Like fun run, ain't nothing fun about it.
00:28Like Microsoft works, y'all don't hear me.
00:32I used to say like country music, but I've lived in Texas so long, I love country music
00:38now.
00:39I, yeah, I hunt, I fish, I have cowboy boots and cowboy, y'all I'm a black neck, red neck.
00:46Do you hear what I'm saying to you?
00:50No longer oxymoronic for me to say country music.
00:53And it's not oxymoronic for me to say third grade and dropout.
00:57That third grade dropout, the wisest person I ever met in my life who taught me to combine
01:02knowledge and wisdom to make an impact was my father.
01:07A simple cook, wisest man I ever met in my life, just a simple cook.
01:14Left school in the third grade to help out on the family farm, but just because he left
01:17school doesn't mean his education stopped.
01:20Mark Twain once said, I've never allowed my schooling to get in the way of my education.
01:24My father taught himself how to read, taught himself how to write, decided in the midst
01:28of Jim Crowism, as America was breathing the last gasp of the civil war, my father decided
01:33he was going to stand and be a man.
01:35Not a black man, not a brown man, not a white man, but a man.
01:41He literally challenged himself to be the best that he could all the days of his life.
01:48I have four degrees.
01:50My brother is a judge.
01:52They're not the smartest ones in our family.
01:54It's a third grade dropout daddy.
01:57A third grade dropout daddy who was quoting Michelangelo saying to us, boys, I won't have
02:01a problem if you aim high and miss, but I'm going to have a real issue if you aim low
02:05and hit.
02:07A country mother quoting Henry Ford saying if you think you can or if you think you can't,
02:13you're right.
02:14I learned that from a third grade dropout.
02:16Simple lessons, lessons like these, son, you'd rather be an hour early than a minute late.
02:21We never knew what time it was at my house because the clocks were always ahead.
02:24My mother said for nearly 30 years, my father left the house at 345 in the morning.
02:29One day she asked him, why daddy?
02:30He said, maybe one of my boys will catch me in the act of excellence.
02:33I want to share two things with you.
02:35Aristotle said, you are what you repeatedly do.
02:38Therefore, excellence ought to be a habit, not an act.
02:41Don't ever forget that.
02:43I know you're tough, but always remember to be kind.
02:46Always.
02:47Don't ever forget that.
02:48Never embarrass mama.
02:50Mm-hmm.
02:51Yeah.
02:52If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
02:55If daddy ain't happy, don't nobody care, but, you know, I'm trying to tell you.
03:00Next lesson.
03:02Lesson from a cook over there in the galley.
03:05Son, make sure your servant's towel is bigger than your ego.
03:09Ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity.
03:14Y'all might have a relative in mind you want to send that to.
03:17Let me say it again.
03:19Ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity.
03:22Pride is the burden of a foolish person.
03:24John Whitten coached basketball at UCLA for a living, but his calling was to impact people.
03:30And with all those national championships, guess what he was found doing in the middle
03:33of the week?
03:34Going into the cupboard, grabbing a broom, and sweeping his own gym floor.
03:39You want to make an impact?
03:41Find your broom.
03:42Every day of your life, you find your broom.
03:46You grow your influence that way.
03:48That way, you're attracting people so that you can impact them.
03:52Final lesson, son, you're going to do a job, do it right.
04:00I've always been told how average I can be.
04:07Always been criticized about being average, but I want to tell you something.
04:12I stand here before you, before all of these people, not listening to those words, but
04:18telling myself every single day to shoot for the stars, to be the best that I can be.
04:25Good enough isn't good enough if it can be better, and better isn't good enough if it
04:29can be best.
04:30Let me close with a very personal story that I think will bring all this into focus.
04:35Wisdom will come to you in the unlikeliest of sources, a lot of times through failure.
04:40When you hit rock bottom, remember this, while you're struggling, rock bottom can also
04:45be a great foundation on which to build and on which to grow.
04:49I'm not worried that you'll be successful.
04:52I'm worried that you won't fail from time to time.
04:56Person that gets up off the canvas and keeps growing, that's the person that will continue
05:01to grow their influence.
05:03Back in the 70s, to help me make this point, let me introduce you to someone.
05:09I met the finest woman I'd ever met in my life.
05:15Back in my day, we'd have called her a brick house.
05:22This woman was the finest woman I'd ever seen in my life.
05:24There's just one little problem.
05:25Back then, ladies didn't like big old linemen.
05:28The blind side hadn't come out yet.
05:32They liked quarterbacks and running backs.
05:34We're at this dance, and I find out her name is Trina Williams from Lompoc, California,
05:40and we're all dancing and we're just excited, and I decide in the middle of dancing with
05:44her that I would ask her for her phone number.
05:48Trina was the only woman in college who gave me her real telephone number.
05:53The next day, we walked to Baskin and Robbins ice cream parlor.
05:57My friends couldn't believe it.
05:58This has been 40 years ago, and my friends still can't believe it.
06:03We go on a second date, and a third date, and a fourth date.
06:11We drive from Chico to Vallejo so that she could meet my parents.
06:15My father meets her.
06:17My daddy, my hero, he meets her, pulls me to the side and says, is she psycho?
06:22But anyway, we go together for a year, two years, three years, four years.
06:27By now, Trina's a senior in college.
06:29I'm still a freshman, but I'm working some things out.
06:33I'm so glad I graduated in four terms, Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan.
06:41So now it's time to propose, so I talk to her girlfriends, and it's California, it's
06:45in the 70s, so it has to be outside, have to have a candle, and have to have, you know,
06:50some chocolate.
06:51Listen, I'm from the hood.
06:52I had a bottle of Boone's Farm wine.
06:54That's what I had.
06:56She said yes.
06:58That was the key.
06:59I married the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen in my life.
07:02Y'all ever been to a wedding, and even before the wedding starts, you hear this, how in
07:06the world?
07:07And it was coming from my side of the family.
07:18We get married.
07:19We have a few children.
07:20Our lives are great.
07:23One day, Trina finds a lump in her left breast.
07:26Breast cancer.
07:28Six years after that diagnosis, me and my two little boys walked up to mommy's casket,
07:35and for two years, my heart didn't beat.
07:37If it wasn't for my faith in God, I wouldn't be standing here today.
07:40If it wasn't for those two little boys, there would have been no reason for which to go
07:46on.
07:47I was completely lost.
07:51That was rock bottom.
07:54You know what sustained me?
07:56The wisdom of a third grade dropout.
07:58The wisdom of a simple cook.
08:02We're at the casket.
08:03I'd never seen my dad cry, but this time I saw my dad cry.
08:07That was his daughter.
08:08Trina was his daughter, not his daughter-in-law, and I'm right behind my father about to see
08:12her for the last time on this earth, and my father shared three words with me that changed
08:17my life right there at the casket.
08:19It would be the last lesson he would ever teach me.
08:22He said, son, just stand.
08:27You keep standing.
08:29You keep standing.
08:30No matter how rough the sea, you keep standing, and I'm not talking about just water.
08:34You keep standing.
08:35No matter what, you don't give up, and as clearly as I'm talking to you today, these
08:42were some of her last words to me.
08:45She looked me in the eye and she said, it doesn't matter to me any longer how long I
08:50live.
08:51What matters to me most is how I live.
08:54I ask you all one question, a question that I was asked all my life by a third-grade dropout.
09:01How you living?
09:03How you living?
09:05Every day, ask yourself that question, how you living?
09:08Here's what a cook would suggest you to live this way, that you would not judge, that you
09:16would show up early, that you'd be kind, that you'd make sure that that servant's
09:21towel is huge and used, that if you're going to do something, you do it the right way,
09:27that that cook would tell you this, that it's never wrong to do the right thing, that how
09:32you do anything is how you do everything, and in that way, you will grow your influence
09:37to make an impact, and that way, you will honor all those who have gone before you who
09:41have invested in you.
09:43Look in those unlikeliest places for wisdom.
09:46Enhance your life every day by seeking that wisdom and asking yourself every night, how
09:53am I living?
09:59My grandmother became my first hero.
10:01Growing up, my grandmother never used an alarm clock, but every morning, my grandmother would
10:05wake up at 4.15, and at 4.16, her feet would hit the floor, usually right in front of my
10:10face, and that's what would wake me up, but I would lay there, and I would pretend like
10:15I was still asleep because me and 4.15 really didn't get along, but grandma would look at
10:20the back of my head.
10:21I could feel her staring at me, and then finally, she would say, now, sugar, grandmama know
10:27you ain't asleep.
10:29You just must go on and get on up and get ready for school, and my grandmother was known
10:33for saying things that would kind of make you a little angry because they made so much
10:38sense, and you couldn't argue with it.
10:41Parents, you know, there's things that when you become parents, you start to say to your
10:44own kids.
10:45My grandmother would say, now, son, you knew when you laid down there last night that you
10:51had to get up this morning.
10:55I don't know why every single morning, you lay there and act surprised.
11:00You ought to be thankful that the Lord saw fit to wake you up this morning in your right
11:05mind.
11:09You know, what my grandmother was encouraging me to do was simply to be grateful for the
11:12opportunity.
11:13In spite of all that I had been through in my life, she just wanted to make sure that
11:16I understood the opportunity that I'd been given.
11:18My life got started.
11:19It was a little rough.
11:20It was a little rough start.
11:22I was born two months premature.
11:25My mother was walking up a flight of stairs, and she didn't know this at the time, but
11:28a woman she had had an argument with earlier was standing above her holding a pot of boiling
11:33water.
11:34As my mom made her way up those stairs, that woman dumped that water onto my mom and sent
11:37her tumbling down the stairs and into premature labor.
11:40She received 30 degree burns to over 25% of her body.
11:43And when we were finally allowed to leave the hospital, as you can imagine, my mom was
11:49in a great deal of pain.
11:52Those burns just barely missed her face and covered most of the front of her body.
11:56So when we got home, she began taking a heavy sedative, pain medication to help her recover.
12:03When she took that medication, it was very difficult for her to watch me, so I would
12:06bounce around a lot.
12:07I'd stay with my mom for a little bit, and then I'd go stay with grandma, and I'd stay
12:10with some neighbors, aunties, and then back to my mother's house.
12:13I did that for the first three years of my life.
12:15When I was three years old, I was back at my mom's house, and I got into her purse,
12:19I found that medication, and I swallowed everything in the bottle.
12:23When they found me, they rushed me to the hospital, and my heart would stop, and eventually
12:27I went into a coma.
12:29But because of that accident, because of that incident, the state of California, they did
12:32an investigation.
12:34And the conclusion that they came to was that it wasn't an accident.
12:38They removed me from my mother's home, I was made a ward of the state, and eventually I
12:43went into the foster care system.
12:45Shortly after I arrived to one of my foster homes, my foster mom, her name was Miss Alexander.
12:51Miss Alexander began locking me inside the closet with a light.
12:55She'd open the closet door, she'd kick me, hit me with a stick or a strap or whatever
13:00she had.
13:02It was while I was in that foster home that I was sexually abused for the first time in
13:06my life.
13:08And oftentimes people ask, you know, if that has to be the worst thing that could happen
13:11to someone.
13:12I have scars on my body that you can't see.
13:15I have a burn here on my hand that she put there with an iron.
13:20But all of that pain went away.
13:23The worst thing that Mrs. Alexander would do is she would open the closet door, she
13:27would stand over me, and she would say, you're stupid and you ain't gonna amount to nothing.
13:33And that hurt me more than any of the physical kicks or the physical pain because I believed
13:37it for a long time.
13:38I believed that I would never amount to anything, just like she said.
13:44I didn't know this at the time, I found out a little bit later, but my grandmother, my
13:49hero, she had started going back and forth to court trying to prove that she could take
13:53care of an active, handsome little boy.
13:57And eventually the state of California, they granted her full custody of me.
14:01And I'll never forget, I will never forget standing on Mrs. Alexander's front porch,
14:05waiting.
14:06She had my little belongings, everything that I had.
14:08I remember standing there, it may have only been a half an hour, but it felt like an eternity
14:12and I can remember thinking maybe no one's coming.
14:16But after a while, at the end of the block, I see the ugliest car I've ever seen in my
14:20life.
14:21And the car pulls up right in front of the porch.
14:24And I remember all I could see are these two big glasses, bifocals.
14:29And I found out later that Grandma had glaucoma, she wasn't even supposed to be driving.
14:35But she gets out of that big car and she's got on this white floppy hat with this, it
14:39was a flower right there in the middle.
14:41And I remember she had on this long white dress that came all the way down to her ankles.
14:46And I found out later that, you know, that was Grandma's Sunday best.
14:49It was an outfit that she only reserved for special occasions.
14:54And I can remember for once in my life feeling like I was on a special occasion.
15:01I remember jumping into Grandma's arms and squeezing her.
15:03And I remember her whispering and saying to me, everything's okay.
15:08You're family.
15:09And everything was okay, just like Grandmother said.
15:12And I had a lot to look forward to.
15:14I found out that my mom was going to court trying to prove that she could take care of me.
15:18And I can remember sitting there with my mother and we'd talk.
15:22And we had a lot of different conversations.
15:24One thing I can remember saying, Mama, you know, one day when I get big, I'm going to
15:27buy you a nice house with a fireplace.
15:29I said, Mama, one day I'm going to buy you a nice car.
15:32Not like Grandmama's and get you a nice one.
15:36But the truth is, I just really wanted to become a family again.
15:39And that's what I looked forward to.
15:42When I was 12 years old, I was asleep on my grandmother's floor.
15:46It was about 4 o'clock in the morning.
15:48We get a knock on the door.
15:50It was my mom's roommate.
15:52Miss Howe, Miss Howe, come quick.
15:54Miss Howe was my grandma.
15:57She said, come quick.
15:58It's Ruth.
16:00Ruth was my mom.
16:02She said, I can't wake her up.
16:03I think she's dead.
16:07And I can remember laying on that floor, you know, kind of wishing it was, thinking, hoping
16:12that it was maybe a dream.
16:15But it wasn't.
16:17And that's how I found out that all the hopes and dreams and things that I had to look forward
16:20to weren't going to happen.
16:22I became very angry.
16:23I became confused.
16:24I was hurt.
16:25I didn't really understand what was happening.
16:28I started acting out, hanging out with the wrong people, breaking into houses, started
16:32stealing cars.
16:34I remember not really caring what happened to me.
16:37I continued that behavior until I was 19.
16:40When I was 19, I found myself standing in front of a judge.
16:42I was handcuffed.
16:43I had a chain around my waist and my handcuffs were attached to that chain.
16:47The judge looked at me and said, the state of California sentences you to 15 years in
16:50prison for armed robbery and assault with a deadly weapon.
16:55That day when that door closed behind me for the first time as a convicted felon, I remember
17:00standing in that empty cell.
17:02I remember my knees started to get weak and they started to shake uncontrollably.
17:06I ended up, I collapsed and I fell to the floor and I just started crying alone.
17:10I can remember hearing voices.
17:12I heard the voice of my foster mom saying, you're stupid and you're never going to amount
17:15to nothing.
17:16I heard the voice of family members and friends of family that said, that boy's going to end
17:20up just like his father.
17:22My father was a career criminal.
17:23He died in prison.
17:25I can remember laying there thinking to myself that this is where I'm going to die.
17:31But here's what happened that would change my life.
17:34Shortly after I arrived to that prison, there was an educator there.
17:37His name was Charles Lyles.
17:38Six foot three, ex-Marine.
17:41And I don't know what it was about me, but every time he saw me, he'd say, hey, Mr. Humphrey.
17:45And he has big smile on his face.
17:47A smile that my kids would say, that's creepy.
17:51But he smiled and he said, hey, Mr. Humphrey, how are you doing?
17:53He always called me Mr. Humphrey.
17:54He gave me that respect.
17:56He walked into my cell.
17:58He looked at me and he said, Mr. Humphrey, prison doesn't have to be your life.
18:02He says, you can get out of here and you can do great things.
18:05He started to walk away.
18:06And before he walked out of my cell, he turned around one last time and he says, Mr. Humphrey.
18:10I said, yes, sir.
18:12He says, I believe in you.
18:14He walked out of my cell.
18:22And if he had continued to stand there, he would have seen the tears running down my face because no one had ever said that to me.
18:27But I remember thinking to myself, I'm going to make some changes and I'm going to change my life.
18:33And a little over four years after the day I originally collapsed and fell to the floor, I walked out of that prison on parole.
18:40That was over 18 years ago.
18:42I've never been back other than to mentor and help other people.
18:47But here's what I know.
18:49I know that when you've had a rough life, when you feel unwanted, I know that when you have hopes and dreams and when you have things that you can look forward to,
18:59and when you have people in place that support you and push you, I know that that gives you a reason to live.
19:07It is a great day to be alive.
19:10And that's something that I haven't always said, but now it's something that I say to myself every single day at some point.
19:15If I'm having a great day or a bad day, that's something that I say.
19:18But what I also understand is that what my grandmother was thanking her higher power for each and every day was for the opportunity that she'd been given.
19:26And she never missed an opportunity to tell anyone that would listen, especially me, it's a great day to be alive.
19:39Well, I'm not supposed to be here.
19:40I'm actually not supposed to be alive.
19:42I thought I was going to die.
19:44I felt like I was in prison.
19:46I was scared.
19:48I was born in Abbotsford, British Columbia, Canada on December 21st, 1969.
19:54My parents, Elio and Duilia Rinaldo, were immigrants from Italy who, of course, like so many millions of others, came to North America looking for a better life.
20:04And they put down roots on our six-acre farm at a very young age.
20:10I knew that there was something a little different with me in terms of the way I reacted to people and sounds.
20:18And I became infatuated with television and radio.
20:22My father and I always had issues in terms of who I was and who he wanted me to be.
20:27My dad being your stereotype of the old school immigrant dad, working hard, getting your hands dirty.
20:35Life is tough.
20:36Nothing is easy.
20:37Nothing's going to be given to you.
20:38I was the antithesis of that.
20:40And it caused a lot of problems between my father and I growing up.
20:45I was an artist.
20:47I was very ultra-sensitive.
20:49I didn't like doing manual chores.
20:51And because of that, I became even more ultra-shy, where I would lock myself in my room or being almost a mute at home.
20:59So in school, I was put in lockers.
21:02The kid that was bullied, the kid that was picked on, the kid who was made to feel stupid even though he got great marks.
21:08It was not a good time.
21:10It was a very depressing time.
21:11And thankfully, one friend that I was able to make was Michael John Jansen.
21:16We lived not too far away from each other and quickly discovered that we both shared a love of professional wrestling.
21:22You know, other kids would make fun of it or whatever, even though most of them were probably watching.
21:27I thought, wow, this guy gets it.
21:29We were over at each other's house every weekend doing our own wrestling matches.
21:33It got to the point where we were putting on wrestling matches in the hallway at lunch,
21:37where you would think the school, the teachers would say, okay, enough of that.
21:42No more.
21:43They ended up watching us.
21:44There would be like 100 kids making circles because we'd have masks.
21:48I'd put together storylines.
21:50We'd create this improv theater in the hallway.
21:53And people loved it.
21:54And we're like, wow, we're popular now.
21:56And so he and I just had this incredible bond.
21:59We both enjoyed the same thing.
22:01We both suffered through the same thing, you know, in terms of socially maybe being a little awkward otherwise with the girls or whatnot.
22:09So he became another member of my family.
22:12And when I was 16, my best friend and I, Michael John Jansen, went to the high school charity show after practice.
22:19The promoter, Al Tomko, was doing the ring announcing.
22:22He asked if any one of us had handled a microphone before.
22:25And Mike starts laughing, saying, well, tomorrow's the biggest month of the school.
22:29He's an announcer.
22:30He loves this stuff.
22:31I end up announcing the rest of the show.
22:33At the end of the show, the promoter comes out of the back, smiling.
22:37And he goes, what's your name, kid?
22:38And I said, Mauro Ranallo.
22:40He's like, I think I have some work for you.
22:42Are you able to come to the BCTV television studios the following Tuesday?
22:46Yes, for sure.
22:47Okay, great.
22:48See you then.
22:50I didn't quite understand what had just happened.
22:52But I had gone from being the shy, quirky class clown with dreams of being on television one day and working for All-Star Wrestling
23:02to all of a sudden having the promoter of All-Star Wrestling, Al Tomko, invite me to BCTV television studios the following week.
23:09My friend, Michael Jansen, lost his mind, screaming, running down the hallway.
23:13Mauro's going to be on TV.
23:14Mauro's going to be on TV.
23:15I was just enthralled with what was happening.
23:18And I get goosebumps now.
23:20I was over the moon.
23:21And I thought, this is it.
23:22I'm going to become a superstar.
23:24My lifelong dream is going to become a reality.
23:36On July 7, 1989, his sister, Debbie, phoned me.
23:42So it was about 6 in the morning.
23:44I answered the phone half awake.
23:47And I thought that his sister, Debbie, was laughing.
23:50But she was just devastated, crying hysterically, saying that something had happened, that Michael was gone.
23:57I hang up the phone not really being able to absorb what I just heard.
24:02I didn't believe it, I guess.
24:04I didn't understand.
24:05I thought she was making a joke.
24:07I was totally disconnected.
24:09It wasn't until I saw my mom that I completely lost it and realized that my best friend had died at the age of 19 due to a heart attack.
24:19That set off a spiral downward that resulted in me being hospitalized by my girlfriend at the time.
24:26There was a hurricane in my mind.
24:28I felt like I was in prison.
24:30I was scared.
24:32I thought I was going to die.
24:35And I was diagnosed with manic depressive disorder.
24:38They say that mental health issues are triggered by traumatic events.
24:43And it doesn't get more traumatic than losing your best friend at the age of 19.
24:50It's not easy.
24:52It's not easy.
24:59I got really angry at the doctors and everyone else who had the audacity and the temerity to tell me that there was something wrong with me.
25:07I'm living the dream.
25:08I'm doing more work than anybody.
25:10I'm making more money than anyone I know.
25:12I'm helping people.
25:14I'm a good person.
25:15What do you mean there's something wrong with me and my brain?
25:18And my 20s were a complete and utter disaster.
25:23I was hospitalized multiple times, the longest being three months.
25:28And the toll that it took on my family, my employment, my personal relationships.
25:34It is truly, I believe, a miracle that I survived my 20s and my refusal to acknowledge that I was mentally ill.
25:42So, I did what was necessary.
25:45I surrendered myself to treatment.
25:48When I finally admitted that, yes, my name is Mauro Ranallo.
25:52I suffer from bipolar affective disorder.
25:55I need help.
25:56It was then and only then that I finally get to see sustained success in all realms of my life.
26:02It almost is because of my dad and the relationship and the struggles that we had that proved to be the fuel that I needed.
26:11I continued to fight.
26:13And proving to my dad that, hey, your son, A, is not only going to be okay.
26:20But B, I went on and became the first broadcaster in network television history to call MMA boxing, pro wrestling, and kickboxing on network TV.
26:30I've called the two biggest combat sports pay-per-views in history.
26:34That is why I want to share all of my story with people.
26:39It's because you must never truly give up.
26:44And that's why pressure, the cliche says, will either burst pipes or create diamonds.
26:49Well, I've burst a lot of pipes, and I'm still that proverbial diamond in the rough, I think.
26:54We're all in a fight.
26:56Every day is a fight.
26:59It's not always a negative thing, a fight.
27:00A fight, sometimes you're fighting for your voice to be heard.
27:03You're fighting for civil rights.
27:05All of us have a gift.
27:08Every single human being has a gift and a purpose in life.
27:12And for the large majority, fear is precluding them from pursuing their true path.
27:18People need people to tell them, you know what?
27:21It's going to be tough, but you can do it.
27:24People need to stop hearing, no, you're not good enough.
27:29No, you're not pretty enough.
27:31No, you're not smart enough.
27:33Fuck you.
27:42My wife came into my life and started to ask me, why is it that you don't talk to your family that often?
27:48And I told her the story.
27:49Like, I don't think they love me.
27:51I don't think they want me.
27:52I think they don't appreciate me.
27:54I don't think they care, honestly.
27:57So my brother is elder than me, about three years.
28:01And so the grandparents smother him with love.
28:03And then my parents smother him with love.
28:05So he's getting love from everywhere.
28:08What would happen is often I would be wearing the same clothes that he wore to school.
28:13Because it was always first used by him.
28:15I get everything secondhand.
28:17Say there was a mattress on the floor, and that was for two people.
28:20That was me and my brother.
28:21Now, how brothers are, me and my brother start fighting for space.
28:24Because my brother was bigger than me, so he would push me to a corner.
28:27He would like go, no, I need more space.
28:29I'm bigger, elder than you.
28:30And as we were arguing and fighting, my mom stormed out of her room and goes, Ajit, go to sleep.
28:36And I'm like, but I can't go to sleep.
28:38I don't have enough space.
28:40And brother is fighting me for the space.
28:42And I can't really sleep in this little space.
28:44And my mom goes, no, Ajit, go to sleep.
28:47I take my pillow, I bury my head into it, and I start sobbing.
28:54In India, when somebody is a loved child, they call them, Meera Lal.
28:59Which simply means, you're the loved one.
29:01All the time I used to say, he's your Lal, I'm your her.
29:04Which means, he's the one that you really love.
29:06And I'm the one that you're indifferent towards, or you don't care.
29:10What I was really trying to say is, I don't feel the love.
29:13And why am I hated so much?
29:17Our lives started to change a little bit.
29:19Because now I was growing older, I was getting into my teens.
29:22And my brother left the city.
29:24And as he was moving away, the expectations started to rely a lot more on me.
29:29And so it was constantly told, hey, go become an engineer.
29:33You need to go become an engineer.
29:34You need to study hard so you can become an engineer.
29:37And as I was studying for these exams, as I was preparing for these exams,
29:41I realized that if what I'm studying right now is what I have to do for the next four years,
29:46or for the rest of my life, I'm going to be miserable.
29:51And that kind of gave me a dimension of saying, hey, why am I doing this?
29:54I am doing this because my mom says so.
29:59I've taken many chances in life after that.
30:01And every time I would take a chance, it would seem like the stupid thing to do.
30:05But I will constantly take them because I just knew that what I really wanted was,
30:10I need to be successful. I need to get out of this house.
30:12And I was able to do that by the time I was 28, 29.
30:23Seven years later, what I'm realizing on the inside is that my health was deteriorating.
30:28I couldn't sleep without a drink.
30:29I had grown even more distant to my parents.
30:32It was almost like a, you know, it's like a task that you check off.
30:36I'm like, I should call mom at least once a week.
30:39That would be one of those things where I'm actually doing something else
30:42while she's on speaker, right?
30:44There was no connection.
30:47My wife came into my life and started to ask me,
30:50why is it that you don't talk to your family that often?
30:53And I told her the story.
30:54Like, I didn't, I don't think they love me.
30:56I don't think they want me.
30:57I think they don't appreciate me.
30:59I don't think they care, honestly.
31:01She kind of said, why don't we do this?
31:04We were going to India just to travel.
31:06And she was like, why don't we go together?
31:10And why don't you bring your parents on and bring your brother
31:13and your sister-in-law and their kids to come together?
31:16And we'll go to like a retreat center and just hang out for a couple of days,
31:19like just four or five days, just hang out.
31:21And I was like, well, I've never done that.
31:25We haven't hung out since ever, probably.
31:29And so we bring the family together.
31:31We find this retreat center close to the city that I'm from, Jaipur.
31:35And we all go there.
31:37And one of the evenings, and this was, I think, the second to the last evening
31:40where my now wife and then girlfriend suggested, hey, Ajit, we are here.
31:45Like, this is the time you can actually have a conversation about this,
31:48that we've been talking about.
31:50And we're sitting all across the table, the same table.
31:53And I start sharing.
31:55I start sharing.
31:57More than me sharing, it was more a question for the table.
32:00It was like, okay, what is it that we feel about each other?
32:02Let's share some honest truths about each other and what we're proud of,
32:05what our concerns are, so forth.
32:07And my turn comes, and I say, I've never felt loved by mom and dad.
32:15And they were right there.
32:16And I've never felt that bonding and that connection.
32:21And they listen very quietly.
32:24And they listen very quietly.
32:26They listen and hear me all out.
32:28And then my dad asked me a question.
32:31And the question was, Ajit, you have two hands, right?
32:34And I'm like, yes.
32:35Like, your right hand and the left hand, which one do you love more?
32:39And I was like, both of them.
32:42I mean, there's not one hand that I love more.
32:44And so he said, that's like having kids.
32:47You don't love one of your hands more.
32:50You don't love one of your kids more.
32:52But when one of your hand is in some pain, you just pay attention to it.
32:56You have to because it's in pain right now.
32:59But as soon as it's healed, you don't pay attention to it anymore.
33:02You treat them equally.
33:04You love them equally.
33:05In the moment, it was just a metaphor.
33:09But it became my truth eventually.
33:12That it's not that somebody loves you or somebody doesn't love you,
33:15especially parents.
33:17It's not that you love somebody or don't love somebody.
33:19In context, for example, it's me getting an oversized shirt
33:24wasn't about they loved my brother.
33:28It was about them not being able to afford new shirts all the time.
33:33Me getting the secondhand bicycle wasn't about
33:37them not wanting to give me a new bicycle,
33:40but it was about them being able to only afford one bicycle at a time.
33:44That was a big release for me
33:48I had held on to that for all of my life
33:53and I was driven from a place of I'll show you.
33:56Only recently, when we actually had a child,
33:59I realized that as much power the word love has,
34:06it doesn't do justice to what you feel when you have a child.
34:11What I have for my son, I can't explain.
34:15I can't explain because it transcends love.
34:18It's important that we know how loved we are.
34:21The fact that we take up space means something,
34:24that we are worthy of love, giving and receiving.
34:28And that no matter who we are,
34:31the way we show up in the world is deserving of love.
34:36And if ever you feel unloved,
34:38remember that all you need to do is change your perspective,
34:42because love is always there.
34:51I was in a crib and two adults were yelling.
34:54My mom came in the crib and was like, it's okay.
34:57I can remember my mom crying.
34:59So my very earliest memory as a human is instability.
35:04My dad was like a big, he was a pro bodybuilder.
35:07He was a big strong guy and I would tell people about my dad like he was still in my life.
35:11I never told them because they'd be like, well, where's your dad?
35:14And I'd be like, oh, he's busy. He can't come.
35:16But the truth was, he didn't care that much.
35:20My mom says, Ty, when I was pregnant with you,
35:23the FBI kicked down the door with guns, put guns in my face,
35:26took your dad away and brought him across the country to Terminal Island off Long Beach.
35:33I remember it was my birthday.
35:35My dad, when he got out of prison, he just stayed in Long Beach.
35:39That birthday, my dad's like, I will drive down and take you out to dinner.
35:45And he said he'd be there at like 5 p.m.
35:47And she had to go to work.
35:48She had a night shift job and she's like, OK, your dad will be here soon.
35:53So I'm going to leave you at the house alone.
35:55So I sat there. I was kind of on the couch.
35:58And I remember waiting for my dad.
36:00And it was like 530 came, nothing, six, nothing.
36:05We had a home landline, like waiting for the phone to ring.
36:08Seven, eight.
36:10I remember being like super sad going, but you're a little kid.
36:14So you're like, I have hope.
36:15He's still going to come.
36:16He's just late. He's just late. He's just late.
36:18I don't remember how long it was, but my mom said she came home at midnight.
36:23I was just asleep, like literally like on the couch, just like looking out the window.
36:28And he never came.
36:29And so I remember that being like super painful and being just like, my dad doesn't care about me.
36:36Life will throw tremendous blows at you.
36:38You'll have the betrayal of a close friend or family member.
36:41You'll have, you know, sickness, death.
36:44Life is painful if I perceive it as what it was supposed to be.
36:48But the second I switch it and go, wait, no, life's like a puzzle that I was handed.
36:53Here's your puzzle of life, Ty.
36:56We took a piece out.
36:57The dad was gone.
36:59And when I look at life like that, my life's like an adventure.
37:03And I'm thankful for it.
37:04Even the stuff that sucked in the most painful day and sometimes in the moment, I couldn't see it there.
37:09But in hindsight, I'm like, but I wouldn't have found that puzzle piece.
37:12Nobody in my family had ever really made money.
37:16And, you know, they say poverty is systemic and it's true.
37:20Like most people, you can't rise out of like your socioeconomic class.
37:24Like one of the biggest predictors of where you'll be in life is where you're born.
37:27It sucks.
37:28Breaking the cycle is something that has to start happening in the world.
37:31And what broke the cycle for me was like realizing that I was doing it wrong.
37:39I was in a mobile home in Clayton, North Carolina, and I did not have a job.
37:45I didn't have a resume.
37:47I didn't have anything to put on a resume.
37:49I didn't have a college degree.
37:51Just laying on the couch.
37:52And when I was laying there, the question that came in my head was, is this it?
37:58All my friends went to college.
38:00They had parents that had more money and they had this.
38:03And like, I missed this.
38:05I remember just going to sleep.
38:07I was just depressed.
38:09And the next day, my mom was there and she said, you should read this book, Tony Robbins.
38:16And I remember being like, I don't want some self-help book.
38:18But she's like, yeah, you should read this book.
38:20So I read it.
38:21And I don't remember that much of what I read, but I remember this one page.
38:24And it said, all greatness starts with failure.
38:29Because when you succeed, you party.
38:32And when you fail, you ponder.
38:34And all greatness comes from pondering your situation.
38:36And I remember thinking, that's what I was doing last night on the couch.
38:39I was like pondering, like, what did I do wrong?
38:42And I made myself vulnerable to the fact that maybe I did make mistakes.
38:47Maybe I had to change my life.
38:48Maybe I had to listen to different people.
38:50Maybe I had to try a new path.
38:52You know, Einstein said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results.
38:58And I was like, Ty, you're being stubborn.
39:00So after I read that book, I was like, I'm going to try something new.
39:02So I went back in that mobile home.
39:04I found the yellow pages.
39:05And I remember flipping through it, going to the financial section.
39:09And there was this full-page ad by this guy, Mike Stainback.
39:13It said, Stainback Financial Services.
39:15And I kind of pretended, I didn't lie, but I kind of pretended I was coming there to be a customer.
39:19And I get to the place and I'm like, I'm Ty, can I speak to your boss?
39:23And I'll never forget, he was sitting in this big, lazy boy chair.
39:27And he had this big mustache.
39:29He looked like Tom Selleck.
39:30I wanted to be super honest with him.
39:32I said, listen, Mike, you don't know who I am.
39:35But I know you must be successful because you've got a full-page ad in the yellow pages.
39:40That's all I know about you.
39:42But I know that costs a lot of money.
39:44If you teach me what you know about making money, I'll work for you for free.
39:50And he was sitting, like, in this chair.
39:53I was talking to him this way and he was sideways.
39:55And he just slowly pivoted his chair.
39:57You know, I've been looking for someone like you for 20 years.
40:01You come back in the morning and I'll set you up with your own office and you can work for me.
40:07And I promise you, if you listen to what I'm going to say, one day you'll hug my neck.
40:11And he did have an office, but what he had done was he cleaned out a closet with no windows.
40:16And he had put a desk.
40:18That's where all the filing cabinets was.
40:20And I sat down on the chair and he plopped down pieces of paper and said, cold call these people.
40:27I'll give you a percentage of the money you make from them.
40:31No guarantee it's working for me.
40:33So I just started calling.
40:35And I sucked at it.
40:36I would call people at 6 at night.
40:40People were like, who are you?
40:41And they were hanging up on me.
40:42I remember being like, oh, no.
40:44I think I've gone from nightmare to another nightmare.
40:47But I started to get curious and creative.
40:51And I wrote down a few little different things I would say to the people.
40:54And I remember in that first month, I started opening up deals for this Mike Stainbacker.
40:59And I opened a deal that was $150,000 in commissions if the deal went through.
41:04And I remember going, wow, life can change like fast.
41:09And within nine months, I went from $0 to making $100,000.
41:13And I remember being like, this is the pinnacle of my life.
41:16And I went out from then like a madman.
41:18I became a CFP, a certified financial planner.
41:20I got into finance.
41:21I learned.
41:22I read every book.
41:23You can either be paralyzed by what life gave you and let the pain, because there will be pain.
41:29There will be trauma.
41:30You can either let it build up and build scar tissue that just paralyzes you.
41:36Or at some point, you go, the cars weren't dealt for me like I wanted.
41:41And so I'm going to go recreate those cars.
41:43And that's what mentors were for me.
41:45And I think for every person, you've got a different path that you have to do.
41:48I just spoke on this subject that I think is like the ultimate puzzle piece.
41:52You get this down, most of your problems go away.
41:54I call it the law of 33%.
41:56Basically, you should spend 33% of your day around people who have not accomplished what you've accomplished yet.
42:05You can help them like you mentor them.
42:08And there's always those people.
42:09And you need to spend time around people that you can help.
42:12And then you spend 33% of your time around people who are on your level.
42:17Like you're about at the same level of what you're trying to do.
42:20Those become your close friends.
42:22Those are the people you hang out with on the weekends.
42:25But the last 33% is the magical one that doesn't happen in our school system.
42:30And almost no one even tries to find these people, unfortunately.
42:35You should spend 33% of your time around people who are 5, 10, 20, 30 years ahead where you want to be.
42:42And if you do the math, that's like a couple hours a day.
42:47And now you can do it with YouTube videos.
42:49You can do it with a book.
42:50You can do it with an audio book.
42:52You can do it with Facebook videos.
42:54If you can start absorbing from the world's greatest mind.
42:58Download their advice into your brain.
43:0140 years of experience in pain and reward.
43:05In making mistakes.
43:06In accomplishing great things.
43:07And you basically get like a cheat sheet.
43:10And if you can absorb that.
43:12And this is what I tell myself every day I wake up.
43:14It's like, tie law 33%.
43:16Who you spending time with.
43:17I think the most pain that we get in life is when we think life is like a straight line.
43:22Start, finish, and here's what's supposed to happen.
43:25Nothing's supposed to happen.
43:27It doesn't work that way.
43:28Sometimes the puzzle pieces swap out and you can't overreact.
43:31In life, if you want to have a complete life, you go find a piece.
43:34You put the piece back in.
43:36You have to take your destiny in your own hand and try to recreate what you missed out on.
43:41For good or bad, today I control my own destiny.
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