Election season is in full swing and it's been entertaining to say the least. Welcome to WatchMojo, and today we’re counting down our picks for the headlines and stories covering the 2024 US Election that we promise we didn’t make up– but we kind of wish that we did.
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00:00This weird obsession with crowd sizes.
00:05Welcome to WatchMojo, and today we're counting down our picks for the headlines and stories
00:09covering the 2024 US election that we promise we didn't make up, but we kind of wish that we did.
00:16It's like he saw a story by the side of the road and said,
00:19I can make a meal out of this.
00:23Number 10. Literally anybody else.
00:26Are you disappointed? Frustrated? Perhaps downright displeased with the current
00:30gamut of candidates across the political spectrum? Don't lose hope, America. A third
00:35party write-in candidate is here to save the day, as they are famously known to do.
00:39Well, I believe I'll vote for a third party candidate.
00:42Go ahead. Throw your vote away.
00:47A disgruntled man from Texas has legally changed his name to
00:50literally anybody else and has his eyes on the presidency.
00:54I went to the polls dissatisfied, you know, and I thought to myself,
00:58it would be so much better if we had a way to kind of reset the election,
01:02you know, to have a neither option, you know, or just to say literally anybody else.
01:06To some, this may seem to be a desperate whack at 15 minutes of fame and a couple
01:11hundred bucks in merchandise sales. But to Mr. Else, this is so much more than that.
01:16This is about democracy and change and probably merchandise sales.
01:21And folks, is anything more inherently American than that?
01:25Good for him. Get your bag. Literally.
01:28This was all about getting attention, forwarding the idea,
01:32and resonating with people who shared that sentiment.
01:35Number nine, Trump's return to X.
01:38Say what you will about the man, but Donald Trump has one of the greatest
01:41back catalogs of insane tweets of all time. A moment to reflect on some of these historic posts.
01:48We all remember that fateful day, January 9th, 2021,
01:52when the former president was effectively banned from Twitter.
01:55Twitter, run by CEO Jack Dorsey, saying after close review of the president's recent tweets,
02:01it banned him due to the risk of further incitement of violence.
02:05Which, if you ask Trump, was the greatest threat to justice to take place that week.
02:09Fast forward to 2022, and Elon Musk,
02:13formerly Twitter, currently X's new owner, but not real dad,
02:16reverses the ban and welcomes Trump back to the platform.
02:20Elon Musk has reinstated former president Donald Trump to Twitter
02:24after running a 24-hour online poll asking Musk's followers
02:28if he should reactivate Trump's account.
02:31Since then, Trump has prioritized his own social media outlet, Truth Social.
02:36But in August 2024, Trump sat for an odd interview with Musk on X
02:40and concurrently made some posts on the platform.
02:43Their crime rate's coming down and our crime rate's going through the roof,
02:47and it's so simple.
02:48This tanked Trump media stock by almost half,
02:51as his supposed return to X spells trouble for the future of Truth Social.
02:56As the company's key shareholder,
02:58this translated to billions of dollars in losses for Trump personally.
03:03An interesting business strategy, to say the least.
03:05It's a bold strategy, Cotton. Let's see if it pays off for him.
03:09Number eight, Make America Florida.
03:11Listen, we know that Ron DeSantis will not be elected
03:14the president of the United States in 2024.
03:17He's out of the race.
03:18Florida governor Ron DeSantis has just announced
03:20that he is no longer running for president.
03:23We already know this, but for a brief moment in time,
03:26the governor of Florida was pleading his case to the nation
03:29with a bewildering campaign slogan, Make America Florida.
03:33We here at WatchMojo are not here to make broad generalizations
03:37about the desires of the American people.
03:39That's above our pay grade.
03:41You can't pay me enough, Max.
03:43But we will go out on a limb and say this.
03:46One Florida is more than enough.
03:49Maybe Making America Florida would be a good plot for a sci-fi original film.
03:54In a world where America is Florida,
03:56one man fights off a tropical storm of alligators with a chainsaw,
04:00an iguana, and a heart of gold.
04:03Hey, that could be something. Write that down.
04:06Apocalypse, my ass.
04:07This isn't the end of the world.
04:09Gods, they're not angry with us.
04:11The aliens aren't coming down.
04:13It's the government.
04:15Yeah.
04:16With a big capital G.
04:21The 2024 U.S. presidential election has finally answered the question
04:25we've all had on our minds for the last 200 plus years as a country.
04:29What do the cat people want?
04:30Besides cats.
04:31Jeffrey here is an Abyssinian.
04:33As in Abyssinian him in hell for destroying my couch.
04:40They have spoken.
04:42They will be meowing out the vote for Kamala Harris.
04:45This outcry of support from the feline population
04:47is in direct response to a comment made by Trump's running mate, J.D. Vance,
04:51who claimed that the Democratic Party was run by, quote, childless cat ladies.
04:56Hey, J.D. Vance, the child having dog person store called,
05:00and they're running out of you.
05:01What's the difference?
05:02You're their all time bestseller.
05:13Yeah.
05:14Well, I had sex with your wife.
05:18You know, they should really hire me as Kamala Harris, a speechwriter.
05:22That would have killed.
05:23Now, in all seriousness, please rise for the catchinal anthem.
05:33Oh, number six.
05:36Trump smells.
05:37Pass it on.
05:38What do you think of when you picture a president,
05:41someone smart, someone resilient, someone with a clear vision for the future?
05:45Perhaps.
05:46But now I'd like you to imagine this.
05:48What if the president of the United States was stinky?
05:52Stinky.
05:53Now open your eyes.
05:55I pictured your eyes being closed before you were imagining the president.
05:58It's January 2017.
06:00Donald J. Trump is inaugurated into the highest office.
06:04And guess what?
06:05He's stinky.
06:06I know.
06:06I didn't take this news lately either.
06:08Former Representative Adam Kinzinger took to Axe to claim that the former president's odor
06:13was so pungent that he recommended wearing a mask in his presence.
06:17Trump fired back via spokesperson,
06:19claiming that Mr. Kinzinger, quote,
06:21farted on live TV and is an unemployed fraud.
06:24I'm sorry.
06:26I cannot think any good idea because this guy keeps farting.
06:30We here at WatchMojo cannot confirm or deny the stinky allegations.
06:34We're just here to rank the facts.
06:40Number 5.
06:41Biden's dead.
06:42Pass it on.
06:43What do you think of when you picture a president,
06:45someone smart, someone resilient, someone with a clear vision for the future?
06:50Perhaps.
06:50But now I'd like you to imagine this.
06:53What if the president of the United States was dead?
07:00Now open your eyes.
07:02You're Republican Congresswoman Lauren Boebert.
07:04And guess what?
07:05Your president, Joseph Robinette Biden Jr., is holding office as a dead man.
07:10I think we have to acknowledge the possibility that the president may be dead.
07:17Biden announced having caught COVID a few days before he dropped out of the presidential race.
07:21It's been the honor of my life to serve as your president.
07:24Which kept him physically out of the public eye for about a week.
07:28But for Boebert, this wasn't the full story.
07:30And she repeatedly demanded proof of life from the president over X.
07:34While we here at WatchMojo can confirm that Joe Biden is alive as of August 2024,
07:40we are currently imagining him in a Weekend at Bernie's type situation.
07:44We have no comment on whether or not that's funny.
07:47Why do these things always happen to me?
07:50Number 4.
07:51The gay furry hackers disband.
07:53Well-behaved furries rarely make history.
07:56And make history, these furries did.
07:58If you ever wanted a headline that reminds you of the fact
08:00you're living in the clown world of 2024, well, here it is.
08:04Also known as SiegedSec,
08:07this group of hacktivists have had some high-profile targets over the years.
08:10To name a few, the Nebraska Supreme Court, NATO, and most recently, the Heritage Foundation,
08:17which is the organization behind the controversial Project 2025.
08:21Veo responds by stating they oppose Project 2025
08:25and everything the Heritage Foundation stands for.
08:28That's why you hacked us, just for that, responds Mike.
08:31Veo confirms and points out their hacktivist history.
08:35But alas, nothing fur can stay.
08:38And the group has announced their retirement from cybercrime
08:40to focus on their mental health and to steer clear of the FBI.
08:44But who knows what the future holds for the self-proclaimed gay furry hackers.
08:48If the Oceans franchise taught us anything,
08:51it's that a good crew can't stay apart for very long.
08:54So next time you see a furry leaving a casino,
08:57you may want to alert the authorities.
09:05Number three, the debate of a lifetime.
09:08Anyone who watched the 2024 presidential debate between Biden and Trump
09:12should receive a stimulus check from the United States government
09:15as a pain and suffering settlement.
09:19Please don't make me relive this.
09:21Okay, fine. Let's relive it together.
09:43What is there to say that has yet to be said about this debate?
09:46It was bad. It was really, really bad.
09:49Let us know in the comments if you would like for us to publish
09:52top 10 things I would rather do than re-watch the Biden-Trump debate.
09:56Here's a preview.
10:11Never mind, you get it.
10:17What do you think of when you picture a vice president?
10:20Someone smart, someone resilient, someone with a clear vision for the future?
10:25Perhaps, but now I'd like for you to imagine this.
10:28What if the vice president of the United States had a thing for furniture?
10:32Now open your eyes.
10:34Is this joke old yet? I didn't think so.
10:36As Trump's running mate, J.D. Vance has been doing an excellent job so far
10:40of being the center of many, many odd headlines.
10:44He has this idea that you should get extra votes if you have kids.
10:49Extra votes?
10:50Yeah, he suggested that you should have extra votes if you're a parent.
10:54Really?
10:54I think there's lots of things-
10:56You don't even get that in your own house.
11:00Most notably, a rumor had spread on X that Vance had sexual relations with a couch.
11:05While this is presumably untrue, it's proven difficult for the senator to shake the gossip.
11:11Harris' running mate, Tim Walz, has even poked fun at Vance,
11:14telling him to, quote, get off the couch and debate him.
11:18Ouch.
11:18I wonder how many writers it took to come up with that one.
11:21That is if he's willing to get off the couch and show up.
11:28You see what I did there?
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11:49Don't worry, Robert Kennedy Jr., we didn't forget about you.
11:52It's not like we have a brain worm or anything.
11:55Come on, look at this guy.
11:57What worm wouldn't love this?
11:59He looks like a pack of chicken thighs left out in the sun.
12:02RFK Jr. is arguably one of the most, um, interesting presidential candidates in recent history.
12:09And that's saying a lot.
12:11But if he's good at anything, it's getting ahead of the news.
12:15Wondering why Mr. Kennedy may be a tad forgetful?
12:18A parasitic worm ate a portion of his brain and then died, of course.
12:25Remember when a deceased bear seemingly appeared out of thin air in Central Park in 2014?
12:30Well, that was just little old Robert F. doing one of his classic bear jokes, naturally.
12:50We would like to thank you, Robert F. Kennedy Jr.,
12:52for keeping us on our toes this election season.
12:55We know so, so much more than we need to know about you.
12:59God bless America.
13:01What would you rather do than re-watch the Biden-Trump debate?
13:04Let us know in the comments.
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13:29Thanks for watching.