The children feel excluded when asked to join the parents in their activities. How to deal with such introverted and passive children and resolve conflicts arising due to their insecurities?
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LifestyleTranscript
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00:30We as a family have a question concerning the setting
00:34as a family with three persons.
00:37We have a 15-year-old daughter
00:40and we really try to care for her with the best we can.
00:45We offer her to join Satsang, to play games with us,
00:49to go for a walk or to ride the bike,
00:53but usually she refuses to do any of these.
00:57For her, it is only possible to be engaged with one of us,
01:02parents, showing YouTube videos or playing her music.
01:07When we three are together, there's always conflicts
01:12because she does not want to join our activities.
01:16But on the other hand, she does not leave us alone.
01:20So a conversation between us parents is not even possible.
01:24And then she complains that we exclude her,
01:28although we offer her to join our activities
01:31and ask her what is her wish.
01:35Especially in Corona time, she's introverted and passive.
01:40We understand that we should be one as parents,
01:44especially if we are against this,
01:47she opposes against this parent's front.
01:51Should we let it go or should we put any effort in it?
01:56Please give us an advice.
01:58He says that either father or mother, somebody should be with her.
02:04So she is comfort, so you can adjust, you can take that adjustment.
02:09One of the parents can remain with her, so she is happy.
02:13Then whatever she is doing,
02:17she is watching some YouTube or some music,
02:22so we will be with her, so she is happy.
02:26Either father or mother, one of the person can remain
02:31because she is a lady's Prakriti,
02:35so she always likes security.
02:39One of the person wants with me,
02:42if somebody is with me, then I will be secure.
02:46So that part is always with her.
02:49So either one, we will help her.
02:52So like that, slowly, slowly, we will adjust with her Prakriti.
02:58There is sometimes no space for us as a couple
03:01to have a conversation, to talk,
03:03because she is always with us without joining us.
03:06No, but tell her that this is time with you
03:11and now I want to spend time with my husband, your father.
03:17So we want to discuss something for money or some matter.
03:22So like that, slowly, slowly,
03:26sometime with daughter and sometime with husband, you can adjust.
03:32No, I am here only, in house only.
03:35Don't worry, we are not going away.
03:38Because she has her possessiveness,
03:41so she doesn't want any destruction in possessiveness.
03:45But slowly, slowly, you say,
03:47I am with you, I am for you,
03:49but I want to solve some problem,
03:51so I will discuss with your father
03:54and he wants to talk with me,
03:57so we will adjust this time.
04:01So like that, we will finish our work also
04:04and we will handle file 3 also.
04:08Slowly, slowly, whatever you want to discuss with file 2,
04:11you can take time.
04:13No, at least half an hour.
04:16So like that, you adjust time with daughter
04:20and say, I am giving you time so and so,
04:22now I have my own time,
04:25not with anybody, not you, not your father,
04:28I want to remain alone also,
04:31so this is my time.
04:33So like that, this is your time,
04:35this is father's time, this is mother's time.
04:37Like that, you divide and
04:39this much I will spend for you
04:42and this much for father
04:44and this much my own time.
04:46So like that, you can adjust,
04:48solve slowly, slowly,
04:50and if she is not happy,
04:52then do pratikraman inside,
04:54but keep your adjustment as it is.