Throughout our lives, we meet a variety of people. How to deal with such people? Why should we adjust to others?
Watch this video to learn why Pujya Niruma suggests "Adjust Everywhere" as the ultimate solution to all relationship issues.
Watch this video to learn why Pujya Niruma suggests "Adjust Everywhere" as the ultimate solution to all relationship issues.
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00:00Like that, actually, from this conversation it seems like totally what's left is to make
00:06adjustments only, right?
00:08Yes.
00:09If suffering comes then it's because of our karmas.
00:12With this understanding we should make an adjustment.
00:14If someone is giving us suffering, so in that way an adjustment, in short we, in matters
00:19of religion, we should just accept that.
00:21This is an adjustment.
00:22We, for our peace of mind, we should make adjustment.
00:26That is religion, isn't it?
00:28If you don't make adjustments, then no peace.
00:32Then you will not get peace.
00:34There will be limitless suffering.
00:36If you want peace, if you want peace of mind, then if you make a minor slight adjustment
00:41with which you can get immense peace, then which fool would do the opposite?
00:45All these are fools who don't make minor adjustments and they are suffering over nothing.
00:51If slightly your thoughts, if you change the way you understand, change your understanding
00:57that this man is giving me suffering, then whose fault is it?
01:01I am suffering, then it is my fault.
01:04Fault is of the sufferer.
01:05I am suffering, then it's my fault.
01:08If I don't have suffering, then it is not my fault.
01:10The end, the matter is over.
01:14So it is the same as religion means adjustment?
01:18Even if it is not, then you, life is nothing but full of adjustments.
01:23Where does the matter of religion come?
01:25Those are the top most adjustments.
01:27But even otherwise in life, there are adjustments.
01:29Come home at 2 am in the night and see with your wife, you have to take adjustments or not?
01:34Every day at night at 2 am, what would be your condition?
01:37Yes, so in short, adjustment.
01:39You have to make adjustments, right?
01:41By making adjustments, gradually you go towards liberation.
01:44That's what we're saying, isn't it?
01:46Adjustments are for worldly interactions.
01:48Your worldly interactions become straightforward, becomes peaceful.
01:52Niruma, only we have to make adjustments? The opposite person?
01:55If we want to attain liberation, then we have to make adjustments.
01:59And if they want to go, then they can make the adjustments.
02:02If we want peace, then we have to adjust.
02:05And if they want, then they have to adjust.
02:07If they adjust and our day improves, that will never happen.
02:10If they eat food and our stomach fills, that will never happen any day.
02:15So in short, to go towards self-realization, you can progress by making adjustments?
02:22Yes, your life will be peaceful after doing this.
02:27But for self-realization, you need to meet the one with full knowledge of the self.
02:31And if you receive the knowledge of the self from them, then you obtain self-realization.
02:35But by this makes the foundation ready for you and makes your life peaceful.
02:41And if you don't make adjustments, then people will make you take adjustments by hook or by crook.
02:46Yes, that is happening. Many times when we cannot keep up,
02:49when we can't keep up with the opposite person, then automatically we have to adjust.
02:53Yes, but else what will you do?
02:55Up until it is possible to keep up, we are keeping up. But when it is not possible...
02:59Just now, if your wife will say,
03:01Diwali is here, buy me a jewelry set made of gold or buy me a new sari.
03:05If you don't buy it for her, how long would you put up with her sulking?
03:09Then ultimately, after becoming frustrated, you will bring it for her.
03:13You will end up buying it.
03:15Instead of that, become good and straightforward right from the beginning and adjust.
03:22The women became happy.
03:27This is just an example. Even women have to make adjustments. It's mutual.
03:32So, many times, Niruben, it's like this.
03:34In ordinary circumstances, adjustments can happen.
03:37Or when ordinary circumstances come up, then we do make adjustments and that it's okay.
03:42If the opposite person verbally abused us for no reason or insulted us,
03:47then we tolerate, we adjust that. Okay, let it go.
03:51But many times, such types of circumstances arise where we are not able to make adjustments at all.
03:57We are just not able to make adjustments in that situation.
04:00So, in those circumstances, how do we make adjustments?
04:03Then over there, start by reversing the aggression in your thoughts, speech and actions,
04:08by changing your inner intent.
04:09Apologize with repentance.
04:11Bow down to the pure soul within the opposite person. Ask for forgiveness.
04:15Repent. Say, which life's karmic account is this?
04:19Brother, please release me. I want to be free and you become free too.
04:23I don't want to disadjust. I want to become free.
04:26I want to settle the file with equanimity.
04:28Like this, keep praying to the pure soul within that person.
04:31You will have peace immediately.
04:33Even the opposite person's mind will turn around.
04:36Try this experiment. We have all done this only.
04:39But the opposite person, people like these, will not get complacent, will they?
04:45What did he say? The opposite person?
04:46Meaning the opposite person, who is making us feel attachment and abhorrence,
04:51they will not become complacent, will they?
04:53No, no. For what?
04:54And even if they become complacent, then what does it matter?
04:57We become free, isn't it?
05:00If they are satisfied and we are also satisfied, then what's the problem?
05:05What's wrong with that?
05:06We become free from the clashes and he is at peace too.
05:09In reality, it is with regards to a sticky file in particular that I say this.
05:13Yes, we have to become free from our sticky files only.
05:16It doesn't take long to become free from elsewhere.
05:19But we have to become free from sticky files.
05:21And by repeatedly making things favorable in the end,
05:24is anything outside scientific circumstantial evidences?
05:28It's not like all the power is in the opposite person's hands.
05:31But we don't know what scientific circumstantial evidences will bring.
05:35Therefore, there is continuous attachment and abhorrence occurring towards that person.
05:39No, but keep the understanding of scientific circumstantial evidences with you,
05:44that even they don't have the power in their hands.
05:47No one has power in their hands.
05:49It's not in our hands and power is not in their hands either.
05:53You finish the matter in your own way.
05:58Finish the matter.
06:00Settle it.