Forbidden Love Season 1 Episode 6
Forbidden Love S01E06
Transcript
00:00Previously on Forbidden Love.
00:02They gave me the dirty looks.
00:04Isn't it awkward? Like your own family's right there and they're just like,
00:06act like they don't see you.
00:08Yeah, they just walk away.
00:10The moment I married Lindsay, my family,
00:12they don't communicate with me no more.
00:14Because if you marry an English woman,
00:16like, you are totally, like, completely out.
00:18Like, you are done with being Amish.
00:22By Jewish law,
00:24you cover your hair when you get married.
00:26I feel a little bit
00:28uncomfortable.
00:30You're going to be the mother of my grandchildren.
00:32You have to wear a wig.
00:34There's a lot of things that are different
00:36that make you the Laurie
00:38that I grew up with.
00:40I just don't want to lose my sister.
00:42Do you feel like you're cut out for this
00:44orthodox Jewish life?
00:46I don't know if I can do this.
00:52Sometimes you do say stuff to me
00:54that's rude. You said I'm a fake
00:56Muslim.
00:58If you want to stay with my brother,
01:00I would love to see you Muslim.
01:02Wearing a hijab and abaya does make me feel
01:04a little bit out of my comfort zone.
01:06I don't think that Muhammad and Abdul
01:08realize how huge of a life change this is.
01:12In the name of the Father, the Son,
01:14and of the Holy Ghost.
01:16I can feel him, like, putting the cross on my forehead.
01:18This is insane.
01:20I said, look at God.
01:22Look how great he is.
01:24You can't force me into submission.
01:26And I feel like I'm being forced here
01:28and it makes me uncomfortable.
01:30Oh! Thank you, Jesus.
01:32We're on our way to Elmer's
01:34parents' house right now and
01:36I am worried if he can handle
01:38if his family rejects him again.
01:40Wilmer called me.
01:42Your brother? Yeah.
01:44He got wind that you guys were coming up.
01:48Now I know that my parents know that we're coming
01:50so I'm afraid they're going to be gone.
01:52What are we going to do now?
01:54I think we should just go over there.
01:56So we gotta go now.
02:22There you go.
02:24Thinking about going back to my parents' house,
02:26I'm nervous as hell.
02:28The last time when I walked out that door
02:30they said never to come back
02:32and I didn't think I was going to come back
02:34and now I'm just trying to do the right thing
02:36for Lindsey and our kids' sake.
02:40I'm nervous. I'm sweating.
02:42My heart's about to jump out of my chest.
02:44I'm scared s***less what's going to happen
02:46but we gotta do it.
02:52Whoa, that's far enough.
02:54We can't have that s***, man.
02:56We can't have cameras over there, man.
02:58You guys can't come at all.
03:16What happened, guys?
03:18Well...
03:22One brother answered the door
03:24and then here comes another brother
03:26and another brother
03:28and a sister
03:30and we ended up like six
03:32surrounding us.
03:36It was a
03:38very emotional moment.
03:40I know, I've got to start tearing up for you.
03:42Like, these are your siblings
03:44and they look so much like you.
03:46You know, I said, you know,
03:48hey, where's mom and dad at?
03:50I said, okay.
03:52I wish they would have been there
03:54so she could have met them
03:56but I said we came
03:58out here to, you know, for me to introduce
04:00her and just try to
04:02get a better relationship.
04:04I said, if you guys don't want us to come in
04:06you don't have to come in.
04:08But they did let us come in.
04:10Just inside, I mean, the garage
04:12area or concrete floor area.
04:16Did you tell them you were pregnant?
04:18Yeah.
04:22There wasn't any response, so.
04:24Yeah.
04:26We told the siblings to like,
04:28you know, just can you pass this along that we stop
04:30by and tell them about the gifts.
04:32There's a lot of very emotional
04:34thoughts going through my head.
04:38I know this is
04:40a selfish thought, but
04:42I just wish that,
04:44you know, she was
04:46almost there for a minute and we'd be like, yeah,
04:48we can go back home, we can go for dinner.
04:50Everything's great.
04:52I just want to
04:54go run back there right now and just give them all a hug
04:56and be like, hey, you know, how's it going, you know?
04:58But
05:00it's something where
05:02there's never going to be a chance of making
05:04things right because I'm still English
05:06and because, you know, I'm shunned.
05:10They're so polite but yet have so much
05:12hatred deep down.
05:14It's not necessarily, it's not hatred.
05:16It's their religion
05:18and the way they grew
05:20up, the way they've been brainwashed their whole
05:22life. I think it's going to be
05:24a long road.
05:28Maybe eventually.
05:30Maybe five years down the road, two years down
05:32the road, we don't know. Maybe it's something
05:34that we can,
05:36you know, have a better relationship
05:38with them. We don't know.
05:40It's out of our hands.
05:42I just hope we planted
05:44a seed maybe, you know, that can
05:46grow. Maybe
05:48we can write letters to keep in touch once
05:50in a while. A letter once a month?
05:52Twice a month?
05:54Yeah. Baby steps,
05:56you know, persistence.
05:58Yeah.
06:12Doesn't
06:16fit on it. That's bad.
06:18That's bad. It's a bad idea. Right?
06:20It's not my club. You don't have
06:22to do all that.
06:24Yeah,
06:26shimmy it off.
06:28I'm really glad that our family issues
06:30are kind of behind us now. I mean,
06:32kind of. Sort of.
06:34It's much better than it was.
06:36Anyway,
06:38now we can just focus on ourselves
06:40getting better and moving forward.
06:42I don't know if that's the right way to word it.
06:44It was a relief
06:46to fix with Ashley's family
06:48and things with my brother Abdul.
06:50So like, right now
06:52we focus on our marriage,
06:54our family.
07:00Ready?
07:02Should I give it to him?
07:04Mine is yours. Okay, I'm going to give it to him.
07:06No, baby.
07:08No.
07:14In Islam, we eat
07:16with our hands.
07:18He does like a little
07:20shuffle.
07:22And also, like,
07:24we believe the left hand is for the
07:26bathroom. Dirt, like,
07:28use your left hand. This hand is for
07:30like, for eating clean things.
07:32Right hand for school, left hand
07:34for the poop.
07:38Do you want to put your gown on now?
07:40No. No gown? You're just going to pray
07:42like that? Yeah. Okay.
07:50You're doing so good.
07:54All Muslims, like,
07:56have to pray five times a day, no matter
07:58what. In the morning, afternoon,
08:00evening, and at night time.
08:02So what if you have
08:04to have surgery?
08:06Well, that's an excuse.
08:08Like, after surgery, you pray it.
08:10What if you're having
08:12sex? Well, sex can wait.
08:14What?
08:16Or, like, you know, just
08:20finish it as
08:22like, soon as you can.
08:28Okay, Rezi, you want to go to the park?
08:30I should.
08:32What should I wear?
08:34How about this one?
08:36Yeah. Looks nice, right?
08:38Looks good.
08:40Well, are you going to the park like this?
08:42Yeah.
08:44Why not?
08:46What is your pants?
08:48Oh, you're throwing them out?
08:50You want to put pants under? Yeah.
08:52Covering your legs is good.
08:56Now that we made peace with our families,
08:58I've been spending a lot of time
09:00thinking about converting and how it would
09:02affect our marriage, and I know that
09:04Mohamed would feel so happy, and I think
09:06it would make things a little bit easier for us.
09:08But I'm still not
09:10sure if I'm ready to commit.
09:12Are you not wearing hijab today?
09:14No.
09:16You don't feel like it?
09:18No, it's hot outside.
09:20Back home in Yemen, like, 90 degrees,
09:22100 degrees, they wear hijab.
09:24Like, thick.
09:26I don't know what you expect me to say to that.
09:28Like, I just don't want to.
09:32As a Muslim man, like,
09:34my wife should cover her skin
09:36and wear a baya,
09:38because her beauty is my beauty.
09:40It's for me, not for
09:42a stranger or freaking, like,
09:44going outside
09:46or grab people's attention. No.
09:48That's prohibited.
09:50If she's not wearing hijab,
09:52she will commit a sin.
09:56If you love someone, you will do it, like, with love.
09:58No, I don't agree.
10:00I don't know why you keep saying that. I don't agree.
10:02So you love me?
10:04No, I'm not saying I don't love you.
10:06I'm not going to do it because I love you.
10:08I'm going to do it because I feel like that's what I'm supposed to do.
10:10Think about it.
10:12Right now, Rosie's getting older.
10:14I want to make sure she grows up as a Muslim.
10:16That's why I need, actually,
10:18to be a good role model,
10:20a perfect example for Rosie.
10:22For me, that's non-negotiable.
10:26To me, like, wearing hijab,
10:28we follow the same religion.
10:30Like, you know, we follow, like, Sam Beth.
10:34I'm working on that.
10:36Like, I'm trying. I'm trying to get there, like,
10:38to feel that.
10:40I just don't think I'm ready.
10:44Shabbat's at 5.30.
10:46You can't use electronics.
10:48We don't cook. We don't clean.
10:50No, leave that one off.
10:52It's going to be dark in there.
10:54Learning about Shabbat, I was like,
10:56I have to rip the toilet paper.
10:58Don't do, like, one square.
11:00I could teach you how to do it.
11:02I don't even know how to express it.
11:04It's insane to me.
11:08You knew I was 23 when I married you.
11:10I didn't know you acted like a child.
11:12I'm a hell of a lot tougher and a lot stronger woman
11:14than all these pussy men that she's used to.
11:16I have to remind you to brush your teeth
11:18and wash your hands every day.
11:20You point out all my flaws.
11:22You want a sticker? Oh, good job, Elmer.
11:24I don't give a damn!
11:54Shabbat's at 5.30,
11:56so we have, like, three and a half hours
11:58left to the day.
12:00All right, yalla, let's go.
12:02It's Friday night.
12:04Me and Lori need to prepare everything for Shabbat,
12:06which is the day of rest,
12:08from Friday sundown
12:10till Saturday sundown.
12:12By Jewish law, there's 39 categories
12:14of things that you can't do
12:16because they're considered work or labor,
12:18which you cannot do on the day of rest.
12:20It's a no-no.
12:22You can't use electronics.
12:24We don't cook.
12:26We don't clean.
12:28You can't drive a car.
12:30You might see a bunch of Jews on a Saturday
12:32scootering or even just walking.
12:34A lot of people just walk to temple.
12:36For the average non-Jewish person,
12:38this might sound crazy,
12:40but as Orthodox Jews,
12:42it is like a gift from God
12:44that we get to do nothing.
12:46See this?
12:48This little switch?
12:50Yeah, yeah, yeah.
12:52And now it just stays off.
12:54Learning about Shabbat for the first time,
12:56I was like, what the f***?
12:58No, I would never do that.
13:00This is weird.
13:02Opening the fridge, you have to take the light
13:04and, like, you know, shut it off.
13:06No, leave that one off.
13:08It's gonna be dark in there.
13:10You could use lights and stuff.
13:12You leave them on, put them on a timer,
13:14but after Shabbat starts,
13:16you can't turn anything on or off
13:18because you're essentially creating something
13:20on Saturday.
13:22And technically, that's doing work,
13:24so it's forbidden.
13:26What else, what else, what else?
13:28Rip the toilet paper.
13:30Ooh, look at you.
13:32You can't even rip
13:34your toilet paper
13:36because that's considered working.
13:38I don't even know how to express it.
13:40It's insane to me.
13:42Don't do, like, one square
13:44at a time.
13:46Like, three.
13:48I could teach you how to do it.
13:50I mean, I think I can handle it.
13:52I've seen how your mom rips them.
13:54Okay.
13:56If you forget to tear the toilet paper, what happens?
13:58So if you forget to tear the toilet paper,
14:00you better have a bidet.
14:02Because, yeah, you don't want to walk around
14:04with a f***ing mud butt all day, bro.
14:06That's about right.
14:10But Shabbat is not only restrictions.
14:12It's a day of reflection.
14:14It's a day of prayers to connect to God.
14:16And also connect with your family.
14:18And for married couples,
14:20it's actually a good deed
14:22to make love to your wife on Friday night.
14:24Of course, if she wants to.
14:28A flash flood warning is in effect.
14:30Whoa.
14:32You think their flight's gonna be okay
14:34if it's a flash flood?
14:36They're gonna be fine.
14:38Eli and I are throwing
14:40a housewarming party this weekend.
14:42So my mom and my sister Jen
14:44are coming in from Boston tonight.
14:46I really want to see them.
14:48But because it's Shabbat,
14:50I'm not supposed to be
14:52riding in a car, so
14:54I'm not gonna be able to pick them up from the airport.
14:56You really want to go to the airport
14:58and see them?
15:00Yeah.
15:04Like I said before, I'd rather you not break Shabbat.
15:06No, I know.
15:08There's a lot of rules for Shabbat.
15:10And it's kind of frustrating
15:12and irritating, but
15:14it's something that you have to get used to,
15:16and I'm trying to, like, accustom myself
15:18to this.
15:20So it's gonna be cool to have my mom and my sister here
15:22on Sunday.
15:24I don't remember the last time I had
15:26like my whole, like,
15:28almost my whole family besides my brother
15:30here, you know?
15:32I know, I know. I'm actually very excited.
15:34Me too, yeah, yeah.
15:37I'm so excited that
15:39my mom and my sister are
15:41visiting, but I am nervous
15:43because this is the first time
15:45I'm seeing my family in person
15:47since I've decided
15:49to convert. My family
15:51has already expressed some reservations
15:53with me becoming Orthodox Jewish,
15:55and now they're gonna see
15:57my new lifestyle up close.
15:59So I'm really nervous how they're gonna react,
16:01and I don't know if they're gonna
16:03approve of my new life.
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16:12♪♪♪♪♪
16:14♪♪♪♪♪
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16:20Christopher. Yeah.
16:22Come here. I need to talk to you.
16:24Did you know your dad was coming over?
16:26No.
16:28I'm still livid
16:30that Christopher's dad
16:32showed up at the house to anoint me.
16:34He's doing everything
16:36in his power to get me to convert
16:38to Christianity,
16:40and I'm beyond over it.
16:42♪♪♪♪♪♪
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16:46I told him you weren't feeling good,
16:48but I didn't know they were coming over.
16:50Well, he came by just to check on me,
16:52which was really nice. Very kind of him.
16:54And then
16:56he offered to heal me.
16:58Heal you? Yeah.
17:00So he grabbed the oil,
17:02and he did, like, put a cross on my forehead.
17:04He put oil on your head?
17:06Mm-hmm.
17:08Islam, you don't have rituals like that.
17:10That's kind of like
17:12paganism, you know?
17:14It just reminded me a lot of, like, witchcraft.
17:16In the Quran,
17:18there's only one higher power,
17:20the one and almighty Allah.
17:22We don't have people
17:24who are magically healing you
17:26or anything of that nature.
17:28We have prayer, and then we have doctors.
17:30When he started
17:32calling on to Mary
17:34and the Holy Ghost, I was
17:36just struck with intense guilt.
17:38I'm sorry, babe.
17:40It felt like I really betrayed Allah, honestly.
17:42I am a little annoyed
17:44that my father
17:46anointed her with me
17:48not even being present. He's just going
17:50too far now at this point.
17:52You know, I think that's more so
17:54of, like, a forceful type of behavior.
17:56So it's definitely crossed the line
17:58I can tell you this, first off, that,
18:00you know, he didn't mean no harm
18:02by what he was doing.
18:04You know, in our faith,
18:06that's a sign of, like,
18:08respect, or, like, he really
18:10cares about you.
18:12But
18:14in the moment,
18:16like, I really felt like I betrayed
18:18my religion.
18:20And, um,
18:22I don't want to feel
18:24like I betrayed my religion.
18:26I don't want to feel
18:28that anymore.
18:34I've reached my limits with Chris's family
18:36trying to convert me. He's moving
18:38to Grand Rapids soon. If he's going to meet my
18:40parents and we're going to get engaged,
18:42he needs to change religions.
18:44I know this
18:46isn't something small.
18:48It's huge.
18:50He's a pastor's son.
18:52But I need to know that he's serious about
18:54my future.
18:56I want you
18:58to be Muslim.
19:02I want you to
19:04convert to Islam.
19:08I mean, it's...
19:12You know, my parents, they mean a lot
19:14to me, and they are
19:16well-grounded in the community.
19:18Mm-hmm.
19:20And let's say if I did become a Muslim,
19:22could you imagine how people
19:24may look at him as,
19:26okay, how are you a pastor, but...
19:28Yeah, your son.
19:30Your son, you know, left the church to become a Muslim.
19:32Yeah.
19:34You know, so I got to think about that type of stuff, too.
19:36Converting over to Islam would be
19:38a major life change
19:40for me. I got to change
19:42the way I pray
19:44to now a set
19:46five-prayer-a-day schedule.
19:48I wouldn't be able to eat pork.
19:50I wouldn't be able to drink alcohol.
19:52But the hardest thing
19:54is what it would do to my family.
19:56That could hurt them
19:58and, you know, potentially push them away.
20:00It's the most
20:02challenging
20:04decision that I've ever had to make.
20:08Let's
20:10pump the brakes a little bit on him.
20:12It's just not
20:14something I can just say,
20:16okay, I'm ready.
20:18You know,
20:20it's a tough ask to do that.
20:24That's fair.
20:26I just want to see a little bit
20:28more effort with you at least just trying
20:30to learn.
20:32I feel like I've went out of my way
20:34to make sure his parents
20:36feel respected and that
20:38he knows that I respect his faith
20:40as well, but I want him
20:42to convert because if he doesn't
20:44convert, we're not going to be able to sustain
20:46this relationship.
20:50I'm
20:52very afraid, Rose, you're going to be like
20:54one of your family. You're sitting here saying,
20:56oh, I don't want her to act like people in your family.
20:58You're being kind of dumb right now.
21:00When she called me dumb, that means
21:02she didn't respect me as a husband.
21:04I'm telling you right now, if you don't want me to talk about
21:06your family, do not speak about mine.
21:08To be honest with you,
21:10we will not be continuing in the future.
21:16We're going to go down the slide.
21:18What do you want to choose? This one or that one?
21:20Right here?
21:22Okay.
21:24Oh!
21:36Go play.
21:40Rosie, be careful.
21:42She's so cute.
21:44She's so little, but she has a big
21:46personality.
21:48She's growing so fast.
21:50Very fast. Even when she's
21:52praying, she's
21:54mouthing the words, mumbling the words
21:56to it.
21:58In the beginning,
22:00in our marriage, actually
22:02not wearing proper clothes
22:04was not an issue.
22:06It was all about the baby.
22:08Thank you!
22:10Thank you!
22:12I love it.
22:14But right now,
22:16Rosie copying a lot of things.
22:18Daddy. Yes, Daddy.
22:20I'm really afraid if Ashley not convert
22:22to Islam, Rosie
22:24will not be a Muslim.
22:26It's really very, very
22:28important Rosie grow up
22:30to be Muslim.
22:32And I feel
22:34when she grow up, she will copy you.
22:36Me? Yeah, she will copy you.
22:38Yeah.
22:52I understand what Mohammed is saying
22:54about Rosie having role models
22:56and raising her in a Muslim household.
22:58But I don't think he realizes
23:00how much of a struggle it is for me
23:02to adjust to a new religion.
23:08This is a
23:10big change to go from wearing
23:12basically whatever I want to now
23:14wearing hijab and abaya every time I leave my
23:16house. I just need Mohammed
23:18to have some patience and be a little more
23:20flexible.
23:22I'm very afraid.
23:24Definitely she's going to be like one of your
23:26family.
23:28You're sitting here
23:30saying, oh, I don't want her to act like people in your family.
23:32If she's not Muslim,
23:34I'm afraid she's going to be bad. But on the flip side,
23:36I do not think your brother
23:38is a good person at all, and he's a Muslim, and look how he
23:40acts.
23:44Why are you bringing my brother right now?
23:46Because you brought my family.
23:48If you don't want me to
23:50talk about your family, do not speak about mine.
23:56I can't believe Mohammed is bringing up my family
23:58like this. I thought we were over
24:00all of this, and now for him to throw this in my
24:02face, it's pissing me off.
24:04If he wants me to be a good role model
24:06for Rosie, then he has to start being one
24:08too, and stop being such an ass*****.
24:12I feel like you're being like...
24:16Being like what?
24:18I feel like you're being kind of dumb right now.
24:24When she call me dumb, that means
24:26she don't respect me as a husband.
24:28Even I am wrong, do not call me
24:30dumb. Never call me dumb.
24:32Growing up, my mom will never
24:34ever call my dad dumb.
24:36Never.
24:38The way you speak to me
24:40is respectful. There is things
24:42like you need to obey, respect,
24:44trust, that's why I need you to be
24:46a Muslim.
24:48The more that Mohammed
24:50tells me to obey and respect
24:52him, the less I feel like
24:54converting.
24:56I feel like the word obey,
24:58we use that for
25:00servants, animals.
25:02I don't need to blindly obey my
25:04husband.
25:06So you think I can't be a good wife
25:08unless I am a Muslim?
25:10Yes.
25:12I love my Ashley, but
25:14I'm telling you right now,
25:16if Ashley not convert to Islam,
25:18that will lead us to a huge
25:20problem.
25:22To be honest
25:24with you, if she not
25:26a Muslim,
25:28we will not be continuing in the future.
25:30I'm done with this conversation.
25:32Okay, then, good.
25:36When me and Laurie
25:38got into this relationship, we had this
25:40conversation. If we were going to be together and get
25:42married, she'd have to convert.
25:44I just feel like if you really love someone, you shouldn't have
25:46to convert or do anything to be able to
25:48be with you.
25:50I think she was just giving her honest opinion
25:52that she thought I shouldn't have to.
25:54Well, her honest opinion sucks.
25:58Let's see how we're going to set this up.
26:00You're doing it wrong.
26:02You've got to do it this way.
26:04Oh, my.
26:10Come in.
26:12Hi.
26:14I love this. It's so cute.
26:16You like it?
26:18My mom and my sister,
26:20Jan, flew in from Berlin.
26:22They're from Germany.
26:24They're from Germany.
26:26My mom and my sister, Jan, flew in
26:28from Boston, and
26:30tonight we are going to have a
26:32housewarming party.
26:34You guys didn't have to get me anything.
26:36Oh, my God. Stop.
26:38My family has expressed to me
26:40their reservations
26:42about me converting to Orthodox
26:44Judaism because of how strict
26:46the religion is.
26:48So, while
26:50they're here, I want to
26:52show them that Judaism
26:54would be a good thing for me.
26:56This is Elena, Nadia.
26:58Hi. Nice to meet you.
27:00Nice to meet you.
27:02You guys want tea or something?
27:04Hey, queen.
27:06You look so good.
27:08You smell so good.
27:10I haven't seen you in like three months.
27:12I know. I'm huge now.
27:14Rosalie is Eli's cousin,
27:16his first cousin.
27:18She doesn't really live like a strong
27:20Orthodox life. In fact,
27:22she's also in a
27:24interfaith relationship with
27:26a Muslim man. Neither
27:28her or her husband wanted to convert,
27:30so they're going to raise their child with
27:32two religions. I really looked up
27:34to her when I met her because she just didn't
27:36give a damn when anybody
27:38thought. Is the baby hungry?
27:40No. Yeah, is the baby hungry?
27:42It was a rough night with her.
27:44Eli's mom,
27:46she's very close to my mother.
27:48They're sisters. It was uncomfortable
27:50growing up. When I would sleep over and stuff,
27:52there were like 50,000 rules
27:54and it was just, I was like,
27:56what is going on?
27:58Eli will argue this,
28:00but to Orthodox Jews,
28:02I'm not like a real Jew because I don't
28:04do all the things that they do.
28:06French, French. I was going to see if you can get
28:08some pizza. White dog wouldn't want pizza.
28:10Jews and the Italians, Jews and Persians
28:12are very similar. Family oriented,
28:14community,
28:16cooking, food,
28:18I hit the lottery.
28:20I found me a nice Italian.
28:22Aww.
28:24A nice Italian that's gonna convert.
28:26Yes.
28:28So when does this
28:30all happen as far as
28:32Laurie converting?
28:34I'm not sure when, but hopefully soon.
28:36We're just waiting for Rabbi
28:38to schedule the last test.
28:40And that could be a while from now?
28:42No, I don't think so.
28:44Yep.
28:46I'm amazed at how supportive you are.
28:48So you were totally cool with this whole thing?
28:50I'm not saying I agree
28:52with everything
28:54that you have to do in
28:56converting. Or once you're
28:58converted, the life you live,
29:00I'm not saying I agree with it.
29:02She's a grown woman.
29:04She makes up her own decisions, you know?
29:08When she first started the conversion,
29:10I actually watched documentaries
29:12about it and to be honest,
29:14I disagree with some of it.
29:16Some of Judaism,
29:18you know, some of the religion.
29:20There's a lot of rules.
29:22Some of them are pretty drastic.
29:24And there is some fear.
29:26I just want to make sure
29:28that she's safe in what she decides to do.
29:30I would never want my
29:32daughter to put up with anything
29:34that would hurt her.
29:38I'm like the very black sheep
29:40of the family, like open-minded.
29:42We agreed to non-Jew.
29:44Neither of us converted.
29:46We agreed that we're not going to.
29:48But the baby's Jewish.
29:50So there's that.
29:52Baby will be raised learning both.
29:56I love you to death.
29:58Tell me how you really feel!
30:00I just feel like if you really love someone,
30:02you love someone for who they are.
30:04They shouldn't have to convert or do anything
30:06to be able to be with you.
30:08I hate
30:10that convert for me
30:12if you want to marry me thing.
30:14For me, I would lie in bed every night
30:16kind of resenting you that you made me do this for you.
30:18And for him, I would lie in bed
30:20every night being like,
30:22well, did she really want to do this?
30:24Or did I kind of just pressure
30:26her into doing it?
30:28So you should never convert for someone else.
30:30That is why
30:32my husband and I didn't do it.
30:34Because if we did it, it would have just been
30:36for the other person. And that's too much.
30:38When me and Laurie got into this relationship,
30:40we had this conversation.
30:42I was an open book. I said, this is what we're
30:44going to have to do. If we were going to be together
30:46and get married, she'd have to convert.
30:48I mean,
30:50it's 2023.
30:52Imagine having a
30:54kid, bring him into the world, and then saying,
30:56hey, we do this and we do that. We believe this
30:58and we believe that. The kid has no f***ing identity
31:00later in their life. They're going to be so confused.
31:02He's not going to know who the f*** he is
31:04when he walks outside. But I don't think that has
31:06anything to do with religion.
31:08When it comes to a person's identity
31:10and raising a family,
31:12I don't want to raise my kids with two different religions
31:14in the house.
31:18It's never confused anyone.
31:20I don't think there's anything confusing about
31:22blending two beliefs.
31:24If you know what each belief is,
31:26I feel like that is more strengthening
31:28in my opinion, because you're accepting each other
31:30for who you are.
31:32It's kind of got me thinking, like,
31:34does he have some other, like, agenda?
31:36Is he going to change, like, you know,
31:38as a person towards her?
31:40Which is, like, kind of scary
31:42at the same time.
31:46If you got divorced,
31:48would you still be Jewish?
31:50Of course.
31:52In the Jewish religion,
31:54once you convert, there's no not converting.
31:56Right, but once she converts,
31:58she can't convert because she's not born Jewish?
32:00Is that what you're saying?
32:02Converted, that's it. It's over.
32:04She cannot be Jewish anymore
32:06on practicing.
32:08That's what I mean.
32:10But all her kids are going to be Jewish.
32:12Right.
32:14When she gets buried, she'll be buried in a Jewish cemetery.
32:18So you won't be with
32:20dad or grandma or anything?
32:22No, no.
32:28I never thought about what would happen
32:30having to, you know,
32:32be buried in a different cemetery than my family.
32:34Catholic people,
32:36they believe in heaven and hell.
32:38But, like, there's no heaven and hell
32:40in Judaism.
32:42And that's worrisome because we're not going to be
32:44together, like, in the
32:46afterworld.
32:48Like, we're not going to see each other.
32:50That really f***ed me up.
32:52I don't want to cry.
32:54I don't want to cry.
32:56Hold on. I'm emotional.
32:58I'm sorry.
33:08I had a friend that was
33:10Christian and she converted.
33:12She got married, they got divorced, she went right back to
33:14Christianity, doing Christmas, whatever, she didn't care.
33:16Because she literally just converted for him.
33:20Rose, she doesn't support the conversion,
33:22which pisses me off.
33:24Even though she's Jewish, she doesn't know anything about it.
33:26No, I think she was just giving her
33:28honest opinion that she thought
33:30I shouldn't have to. Well, her honest opinion sucks.
33:32I didn't have to. Her honest opinion sucks.
33:34She didn't want me to convert for
33:36someone because she didn't
33:38and she wanted to let me know I don't
33:40have to do that either. I feel like it was
33:42disrespectful. Especially when
33:44my girlfriend's sitting there that's
33:46going through this whole conversion process
33:48and then she comes over and s***s on everything.
33:50I don't appreciate that.
33:52Well, I agree with her
33:54from my point of view and
33:56understand where she's coming from.
34:00Can you have a Christmas tree if you
34:02decorate it with Hanukkah stuff?
34:04I don't want a Christmas tree.
34:10Lori has come so far in this
34:12conversion process. She has been
34:14putting in 110% effort.
34:16I do appreciate her hard work.
34:18At this point, I'm worried that
34:20Rose is going to put negativity
34:22in the family and Lori's mind.
34:24The last thing we need right now
34:26are doubts of her wanting to
34:28convert or not.
34:36Yes, I do leave
34:38s*** laying around. Like toddlers do that.
34:40So you're calling me a toddler, huh?
34:42This is stuff that in the regular society
34:44would know. Well, I didn't come from
34:46the regular society. I know, but you know now.
34:48You say, oh, you don't do nothing
34:50around the house. What do you do?
34:52If he's not ready to do this,
34:54then how are we going to bring this baby into the world?
34:56I'm done. Me too.
35:06Come on, Paolo.
35:08Paolo's excited.
35:10I'm going to jump over this.
35:12You're going to hurt your nuts.
35:14One of these days, you're not going to be lucky.
35:20You're excited, huh?
35:22Yeah.
35:24Got to check out your path today.
35:26See what dogs have been out here
35:28pooping in your area.
35:30The Michigan trip was rough.
35:32Like, it is almost like
35:34Elmer was getting shunned again.
35:36Like, I think it really
35:38affected him a lot.
35:40You want to sit down?
35:42Yeah.
35:44Quit picking at that.
35:46Since we've been back, Elmer is
35:48regressing hardcore.
35:50I'm back to the old
35:52Amish mindset. I've been trying to avoid
35:54a fight because I can tell he's hurting, but
35:56his bad habits are getting worse again.
35:58He is forgetting everything.
36:00I started to teach him about manners
36:02and hygiene and just picking up
36:04after himself.
36:06I have a baby coming, and I can't
36:08be a mother to a baby and him
36:10at the same time.
36:12We're about to have
36:14a baby.
36:16And just some of this stuff,
36:18I need you to step up a little bit
36:20because things are starting to
36:22surface, and I'm noticing things.
36:24Like, noticing what?
36:26Like, picking
36:28up after yourself. If you make
36:30a mess, clean it up.
36:32I mean, I have to remind you to brush
36:34your teeth and wash your hands every day.
36:36This is stuff
36:38that even, like, a regular
36:4023-year-old in the
36:42regular society would know, like, to wash your hands.
36:44Come through the regular society.
36:46But you know now.
36:48It has been exhausting
36:50trying to
36:52undo what he
36:54has always believed growing up about
36:56what a man's role and a woman's
36:58role is.
37:00How I grew up in the
37:02Amish life between men and women, I mean,
37:04it's like, we went to work, we worked our ass
37:06off, we come home, house is cleaned,
37:08laundry's done. Like, we wouldn't even get up
37:10from the table to do our own dishes, so that's what was ingrained
37:12for about 20 years of my life.
37:14Clearly. So that's what's in my head.
37:16If you would have grown up that lifestyle, you'd be different
37:18too. Yeah, but you left that lifestyle.
37:22I mean, heck, last week
37:24you literally drew on the kitchen wall.
37:26It was because I was on the phone and I was thinking what I was doing
37:28and I was just doing something.
37:30That's like a
37:32toddler behavior. Like, toddlers do that.
37:34So you're calling me a toddler, huh?
37:36Yeah, but, I mean, you don't draw on the wall.
37:38I'm fidgeting around, okay? I'm starting to stay awake.
37:42I'm worried that once the baby's
37:44here, Elmer's not gonna
37:46be a help at all and he's just
37:48he's gonna be an extra burden on top of
37:50that. I want a partner
37:52there to help me. Somebody I can
37:54count on. If he's not ready to
37:56do this, then how are we gonna bring this baby in the world?
37:58My biggest fear is
38:00I'm gonna be stuck
38:02raising this kid all alone.
38:04How do you know? How do you know
38:06that I'm not gonna be there for our kids?
38:08How do you know? I don't know that
38:10but I'm just trying to come... Well, then why do you keep saying it?
38:12Because you can't even take care of yourself.
38:18Lindsey keeps saying that I can't even
38:20take care of myself, which is a total lie.
38:22In my 23 years,
38:24I have gone through more
38:26than a lot of
38:28these English people out here go through
38:30in their whole lifetime. Like, I have
38:32gone through living hell in the
38:34Amish. Like, going through, you know,
38:36shitting a hole, bathing
38:38in the same bath water as everybody else.
38:40I mean, I can take care of myself.
38:42I'm a hell of a lot tougher and a lot stronger
38:44in a stronger world than all these
38:46pussy men that she's used to.
38:48You point out
38:50all my flaws. You say, oh,
38:52your childish. You don't do nothing
38:54around the house. You don't.
38:56That's a lie. You're lying right there because I do.
38:58What do you do?
39:00What do you do? I clean up the other night.
39:02One time you picked up your stuff
39:04and you want a f***ing sticker?
39:06Good job, Elmer. You took care of your own f***.
39:08I'm
39:10seriously about, like, my woods in. I'm done with
39:12this stuff.
39:14Like, I need a man
39:16to raise a baby with.
39:22Why did you marry me
39:24then? Elmer.
39:26Why did you marry me? Because I love you.
39:28And this is just basic stuff that you can
39:30work on it. You can improve it. I do work on it.
39:32Yes, I do leave f***ing laying around.
39:34What guy out there don't do that?
39:36Elmer, a lot of guys don't.
39:38Responsible, older guys don't.
39:40There again, here we go. You're drooling on yourself
39:42right now. Because I'm f***ing pissed.
39:44Well, like, just
39:46grow up. You knew I was 23
39:48when I married you. I didn't know you acted like a child.
39:52It's not right for
39:54Lindsay to take her anger out on me because
39:56she's the one that pushed the marriage.
39:58She's the one that pushed how fast
40:00she got pregnant because she said,
40:02the biological clock is ticking away.
40:04And, plus,
40:06Lindsay knows that I grew up Amish
40:08and how I was
40:10before we were married. So,
40:12she knew what she was getting herself into.
40:18Maybe you shouldn't have chose me to be your dad.
40:20Maybe not.
40:26That's f***ed up.
40:28I wish she would
40:30realize
40:32how much I sacrificed.
40:34I gave up everything
40:36for Lindsay. Everything
40:38in my Amish life, I gave
40:40up the love for my family for her.
40:42I left all
40:44those old relationships behind me
40:46just for Lindsay. And it's
40:48really hard on me. If giving up
40:50everything from my past, if that's
40:52not enough, I don't know
40:54if I'm ever going to be enough for her.
40:56I'm done.
40:58Me too.
41:04Next time on Forbidden Love.
41:06Oh! Rabbi Block.
41:08Alright, answer, answer. Rabbi,
41:10how are you?
41:12I've been eagerly waiting
41:14for Rabbi Block to
41:16let me know if I can take the conversion test.
41:18What's going on?
41:20Um, but also,
41:22he can say, I'm not ready and
41:24you're never going to make it as a Jew.
41:26I just, like, give up.
41:28What'd he say?
41:32Oh, here's Chris.
41:34Yay!
41:36What's up? How you doing?
41:38I'm about to move to Michigan to be with
41:40Lindsay, and I have
41:42to tell my parents something
41:44they don't want to hear.
41:46Thinking about converting, you know, to Islam.
41:48My God!
41:50Something you don't let nobody change
41:52about you.
41:56Me and Ashley, we struggle a lot.
41:58I told you, like... Yeah, he says that
42:00I don't obey him.
42:02Yes, you don't.
42:04I definitely know that if I don't convert,
42:06my marriage won't last much longer.
42:08But converting to Islam is still a huge decision
42:10for me. I still have a lot of
42:12concerns, like, do I always have
42:14to obey my husband?
42:16These are not from him. These are from
42:18Allah. You have to listen to your husband.
42:22F***! F*** you!
42:24What you done did?!
42:26I creeped up behind
42:28him, and he in the corner,
42:30on his phone, writing messages
42:32to women.
42:34Get out of my motherf***ing face! F*** you!