Asking Americans Questions you’re too afraid to ask
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00:00Guys, let me ask Americans the questions that you're too afraid to ask.
00:03Who are you voting for?
00:04Probably Biden.
00:05Probably Biden, hell yeah.
00:06Biden.
00:07Biden.
00:08Biden, for sure.
00:09Yeah.
00:10I was thinking RFK.
00:11He's got independent views, you know?
00:12This is one dude with orange hair, bro.
00:13So you're voting for Trump?
00:14I guess, bro.
00:15What did they say?
00:16You're not a liberal, beta, pussy-ass, queer cuck.
00:19Nah, I'm not.
00:20That's not you.
00:21That's not me.
00:22That doesn't describe me at all, bro.
00:23If Trump and Biden were banging, who'd be the top and who'd be the bottom?
00:26Oh, Trump is the bottom.
00:27Trump is the bottom.
00:28Trump is the bottom.
00:29Trump is the bottom.
00:30Hell yeah.
00:31Trump's the bottom.
00:32He's a big ol' bottom.
00:33Yeah, yeah.
00:34He comes off as an alpha male, but that's because he's a big ol' bottom.
00:37I hate to say it, Trump is top, but I could see Biden as versed, low-key.
00:41Like I feel like he could have like a little, like, I don't know, he could be a little switch,
00:45right?
00:46Why do I feel like Trump is the top?
00:47Ooh.
00:48I feel like Biden can't move.
00:49He's too insecure.
00:50Yeah.
00:51I feel like it might be a versed situation.
00:52He's too proud to not top, but like I feel like it truly is a versed situation.
00:56He could switch up, yeah.
00:57Yeah, like to accomplish something, they'd have to like make a truce.
01:00That's also a metaphor of what America has to do.
01:02You have to be versatile.
01:03You can't just top, the Democrats and Republicans have to fuck each other and get fucked by
01:07the others.
01:08That's the only way this country is going to prevail.
01:10My name is Mario Adrian and I'm running for president in 2020.
01:12So, uh, can you name a country?
01:14Germany.
01:15Fucking England.
01:16Fucking England.
01:17Germany.
01:18Germany, let's fucking go.
01:19Awesome.
01:20India.
01:21Pakistan.
01:22Brazil.
01:23Africa.
01:24What is the capital of Africa?
01:25Of Africa, uh, I actually don't know.
01:26Do you know the president of any other country?
01:28I don't.
01:29No, no.
01:30That's the thing, like our branding is shit.
01:31Why does nobody know fucking Frank-Walter Steinmeier, yeah?
01:33He's everywhere, yeah?
01:34He's a famous German.
01:35Nobody knows Frank-Walter Steinmeier.
01:36Can you name a famous German person?
01:38That boy Adolf, bro.
01:40The worst person on the planet.
01:41That boy Adolf, bro.
01:43I love it.
01:44Uh, Arnold Schwarzenegger.
01:45Arnold Schwarzenegger.
01:46It's Austrian, see?
01:47There's no Austrian.
01:48Is Heidi Klum German?
01:50Heidi Klum is fucking German.
01:51Yes.
01:52Yes.
01:53Oh, that's so bad.
01:54I feel like a bad person.
01:55Why is there no other Germans that have ever done something meaningful in the world?
01:58I have a German friend.
01:59What's her name?
02:00Um, oh my God.
02:01God damn it.
02:02I can name a million Americans.
02:03What the fuck?
02:04We have good publicity.
02:05You guys are great at marketing and we Germans are not.
02:07That's true.
02:08I know everybody.
02:09I know LeBron James, the best quarterback the Dodgers had in a decade.
02:11I know about Barack Obama, your first president.
02:13You only.
02:14Me?
02:15Yeah, Mario.
02:16I'm the most famous German, guys.
02:17I want to be the most famous German comedian.
02:18And I better succeed because you never want to reject a German with a dream.
02:21In America, everything is bigger.
02:23The people are thicker.
02:24The people are thicker.
02:25Would you say the same applies to your penile size?
02:28For me personally, yes.
02:30I've been blessed, so.
02:31God bless America.
02:32God damn.
02:33So when you say blessed, can you give us some specifics?
02:35Just tell me where to start.
02:36I got a DirecTV remote, you know.
02:37A DirecTV remote?
02:38A DirecTV side.
02:39That's good.
02:40Is that like a blessing or a burden sometimes?
02:42It's a blessing, for sure.
02:43It's a blessing?
02:44Maya, complete the following sentence.
02:45I'm not gay, but.
02:46I'm straight as a pencil, but I'm trying to get this money, though.
02:49That's right.
02:50So would you do things with a man for $10,000?
02:53Fuck.
02:54No, bro.
02:55I'd still keep my dignity.
02:56$100,000.
02:58No, bro.
02:59No.
03:00I wouldn't.
03:01There's no price tag on any of that, bro.
03:02Look at me.
03:03It's not about being gay.
03:04It's a business decision at this point, okay?
03:05You gotta take care of your family.
03:06$1 million.
03:07Nobody's gonna find out about it.
03:08Close your eyes.
03:09$1 million.
03:10In your bank account.
03:11Cash.
03:12No taxes.
03:13No liberal, queer, pussy ass, beta cock tax.
03:14If it came up to that much amount of money, no.
03:16Still, no.
03:17I'm not going.
03:18Still no?
03:19I'd rather start before I let another man touch me like that, but no.
03:21And one day I want to be as cool as that guy.
03:23Fuck, marry, kill.
03:24Trump, Biden, RFK.
03:25Who you fuck, who you marry, who you kill.
03:27Oh!
03:28I don't know if people are gonna like this, because I think Biden's almost dead, so I'll
03:31go ahead and kill him.
03:32This is a touchy subject.
03:33You said John F. Kennedy?
03:34No, RFK.
03:35For me, clearly, I'd be fucking JFK.
03:36I think he's the hardest president to ever exist.
03:39Like, I'm straight, but yo, I'll fuck JFK just for the power.
03:42You know what I mean?
03:43We gotta kill Trump.
03:44Yeah.
03:45Have to kill Trump.
03:46Kill him.
03:47Absolutely.
03:48Okay.
03:49Marry Joe Biden because he's gonna die soon.
03:51Yo, that is smart.
03:52Sorry.
03:53And then you fuck the remainder.
03:54That's what you have to do.
03:55Fuck Biden.
03:56You think he can take that?
03:57I think he's gonna fall apart.
03:59Maybe take his money, yeah, and then the RFK one, he can die.
04:03You know, everything is bigger in America.
04:05People are usually thicker in America.
04:07Would you say the same applies to your penis size?
04:11Yes, most definitely.
04:13I had an inkling that this was gonna be the case, man.
04:16What do you guys think is the sexiest accent out there?
04:18Australian always does it for me.
04:19Really?
04:20Like a Liam Hemsworth kind of vibe.
04:21Are you fucking kidding me?
04:22Australian?
04:23They sound like farmers.
04:24They look good, but they don't sound good.
04:25I like how it sounds, personally.
04:26Really?
04:27I do.
04:28I mean, I think the Boston accent is really sexy, and nobody agrees with that.
04:31I'm doing a stand-up show in Boston.
04:32Get your tickets right now.
04:33Marriott.com.
04:34I'm coming to Boston on September 8th.
04:36You cacksucking...
04:37God.
04:38What about a German accent?
04:39You know, it's a...
04:40I don't love it.
04:41Let me give you a line.
04:42You tell me if this does it for you, alright?
04:43Are you Brazil?
04:44Because we fucked you 7-1.
04:46We fucked you like Blitzkrieg.
04:47Hard.
04:48Yeah, yeah.
04:49I didn't love that.
04:50Actually, just like, I'm not aroused at all.
04:52I do think, like, German accent.
04:54Yeah, we got one.
04:55They love the German accent.
04:56German accent, yeah.
04:57I do think, like, the Latino accent is pretty...
04:59No, Latino is, like, universally sexy, yeah.
05:01It depends.
05:02Like, me with my accent, I don't think I have a sexy accent.
05:05I think I have, like a...
05:06I don't know.
05:07Actually, I think you do.
05:08When I met you, that's the reason I started talking to you.
05:10Don't say that.
05:11I think your accent...
05:12I'm talking to you.
05:13I'm hard right now talking to you.
05:14I think it's German accent.
05:15German accent.
05:16It's either like...
05:17Or it's like...
05:19Did you just come out of the oven?
05:20Because you are very hot.
05:23Okay, I like that.
05:24It's good, right?
05:25I mean, I personally like Australian accents.
05:26Oh, really?
05:27Yeah, I mean...
05:28Spanish accents are really sexy, too.
05:29Why?
05:30Because, like, the...
05:31You know what I mean?
05:32I like that, yeah.
05:33What about German accent?
05:34I wouldn't put him on the top tier sexy.
05:35I look like American boy, yeah.
05:36I wouldn't put him on top tier sexy.
05:37It doesn't get you going.
05:38If I'm like...
05:39Hey, do you want to come to the bratwurst house with me?
05:41It gets me going, man.
05:42Like, I want to go with you, but not sexually.
05:43Got it.
05:44Not sexually.
05:45Understood.
05:46That's why I didn't do so well with the ladies here.
05:47You know what I mean?
05:48Who would you fuck, marry, kill?
05:49Between Trump, Biden, and RFK?
05:50I'd kill Trump.
05:51How would you kill Trump?
05:53Arson.
05:54Arson?
05:55You've been thinking about this.
05:56Can we have answers like when they were young?
05:57Because...
05:58Have you seen those Biden pictures when he was young?
05:59Yeah.
06:00He was sexy.
06:01That was a good looking man.
06:02Trust me, Heidi.
06:03I would kill Trump.
06:04Okay.
06:05Fuck RFK.
06:06Yeah.
06:07And then marry Biden because he's going to die soon.
06:08And then I get the money.
06:09See, that is...
06:10Exactly.
06:11I think RFK is the best looking out of them.
06:12Oh, he's big.
06:13Yeah, yeah.
06:14He's very sexy looking.
06:15He's big, yeah.
06:16But definitely let him tap.
06:17RFK, call me as well.
06:18Had to kill Trump.
06:19How would you kill Trump?
06:20Something pretty low-key, like poisoning the...
06:21Poisoning the second person that's poisoned.
06:22Okay, Trump, watch out for the poison.
06:23It's a good way to do it.
06:24Yeah, it's a good way to do it.
06:25What's the most American thing about you?
06:26Well, I mean, I have a little bit of a southern accent.
06:27I don't know if you could hear it.
06:28All right, all right, all right.
06:29Give me an example of a sentence I should say in a southern accent.
06:30Well, hey, cutie.
06:31What you got going on tonight, girl?
06:32Well, hey, cutie.
06:33What you going on tonight, girl?
06:44Fuck the liberals.
06:45I'd smash you.
06:46Yeah.
06:47Name a famous German.
06:48Angela Merkel.
06:49Dirk Nowitzki.
06:50Heinrich Himmler.
06:51Every time.
06:52Mario Adrian.
06:53That's the right answer.
06:54There we fucking go.
06:55Who's also on the International Stand-Up Comedy Tour right now doing the German Efficiency
06:59Tour.
07:00See me live.
07:01I'm doing 50 states in one week.
07:02Coming all over the US.
07:03Get your tickets right now at marioadrian.com.
07:04Oh, yeah.
07:05Hello.
07:06Yes.
07:07You straight, bro?
07:08Oh, yeah.
07:09Fuck, yeah.
07:10Me too, man.
07:11What's up?
07:13I'm straight.
07:14What kind of sexual adventures?
07:15You mean...
07:16Orgies and stuff like that.
07:17Oh, really?
07:18Back in the day, yeah.
07:19Never felt like hooking up with a guy or anything.
07:20Got it.
07:21It's always been, like, with the girls.
07:22Two guys, one girl's cool.
07:23As long as you don't make eye contact.
07:24Oh, you can make eye contact.
07:25You can slap hands, you know?
07:26High five, yeah.
07:27A little Eiffel Tower.
07:28Understood.
07:29Eiffel Tower, yes.
07:30Yeah, but it's just no sexual...
07:31I think in Europe, man, in Germany, you can fuck a dude.
07:33It's not gay unless you bought him in Germany.
07:35Oh, I see.
07:36You know?
07:37It's not gay unless you like it, right?
07:38Exactly.
07:40Rules are rules, brother.
07:41You experiment.
07:42Exactly.
07:43Four times, fine.
07:44Five times, it becomes a little sus.
07:45You know, that's what it is.
07:46I didn't like it the first four times.
07:47Yeah.
07:48Man, you gotta try, because, you know,
07:49how do you know you're not gay unless you try?
07:50And that's why every Saturday we get together
07:51and we make out to remind ourselves that we're still straight.
07:56Is it?
07:57I don't know if it is.
07:58You know, I'm a black woman.
07:59Kat says it's the best country in the world.
08:01Strong foundation.
08:02Good backbone.
08:03Great people.
08:04A melting pot about everybody, pretty much.
08:05Is it?
08:06I mean, jokes aside, obviously, I'm blessed to be here.
08:08The opportunities here.
08:09Where I'm coming from, the kind of future I would have
08:12is nothing like I would have here.
08:14Why is America the greatest country in the world?
08:16They're not.
08:17Oh.
08:18Wow.
08:19That's a good one.
08:20It's amazing because you can do anything you want
08:22and it's a free country.
08:24No, it's not.
08:25Oh, God damn, okay.
08:26We have a live debate here.
08:27UCLA students are going to fight each other.
08:29I'm not American.
08:30NSA.
08:31Not the best, but I guess not the worst either.
08:34First of all, you have freedom to get guns.
08:36We want guns, God damn it.
08:37All right?
08:38You can't get guns in Germany.
08:39You can't get guns in Italy.
08:40But here, you have the right to defend yourself.
08:42The last time you Germans had guns, it didn't go so well.
08:44Yeah, but hey, it's a new day.
08:46I think they should give them back to you.
08:48What is one thing that you would change about America,
08:50if you could?
08:51Maybe our capitalism.
08:52Like, the way we put money as the number one thing
08:55to strive for.
08:56I feel like we should strive for community and togetherness
08:59more than we strive for just becoming rich.
09:02What do you guys think is the sexiest accent?
09:04Irish.
09:05Sheila's Irish.
09:06What about a German accent?
09:07Do you think it's hard?
09:08I like a German accent.
09:09That was not convincing at all.
09:10When I'm asking you the German accent, I'm like,
09:12do you think it's hard?
09:13Tell me now.
09:14The sexiest.
09:15Yeah.
09:16Maybe Italian.
09:17Italian?
09:18Yeah.
09:19It's kind of goofy, you know?
09:20It's kind of like...
09:21What about a German accent?
09:22German accent.
09:23Do you think it's sexy, a German accent?
09:24Tell me now.
09:25I think German accents are very gorgeous.
09:27Not my favorite, though.
09:28I think the English accent or Australian.
09:30Everybody says Australian.
09:31I think they sound a little bit like,
09:33they sound like hillbillies, right?
09:34Don't you think?
09:35I love it, though.
09:36You love it?
09:37You love the hillbillies?
09:38Sexy hillbillies?
09:39Sexy hillbillies.
09:40What do you say?
09:41What's the number one country in the world?
09:42Italy.
09:43Really?
09:44Of course.
09:45Why?
09:46We're living...
09:47Just more relaxed?
09:48Yeah.
09:49If there's one thing you can change about America,
09:50what would you change?
09:51The people.
09:52The people?
09:53What do you think is the biggest difference
09:54between Italians and Americans?
09:55I would say the mindset.
09:57Here, you're focused more on career, money, businesses.
10:02What are you focused on in your life?
10:04To find a good balance between life and work.
10:06That is the most European shit I've ever heard.
10:08You're not going to make it in America, goddamn.
10:10With that attitude, you ain't going to make it, right?
10:12Do you think cocks are bigger in America?
10:13No, I don't think so.
10:15Wait, have you ever been to Europe?
10:16Not yet.
10:17I've met Europeans.
10:18I've seen European cocks.
10:20I would say they're about the same.
10:22What's the stereotype you have about Germans?
10:24I'm just curious.
10:25I have an answer for this.
10:26A, I've seen German porn.
10:28B, I've seen this Vice documentary about this guy
10:31that is obsessed with his cock in Germany.
10:34Apparently, they have some festival or something.
10:37A cock festival?
10:38A cock festival in Germany.
10:39I've seen the German porn,
10:40so it seems like they're obsessed with cocks.
10:42Even when I see porn with ladies,
10:44it seems like their cock is the main point of the porn.
10:47You love cocks.
10:49Yeah, I think Germans are obsessed with cocks.
10:51Germans love cocks.
10:52That is absolutely beautiful.
10:53What do you think about Germany as a country?
10:54I know historically, we have not been great,
10:57but lately...
10:58Thanks for inviting us.
11:00Fuckers.
11:01It wasn't even Ukraine back then, okay?
11:03But with Germans, not the Russians now.
11:05The new villains of the world, I think, are Russians now,
11:07not the Germans anymore.
11:08I don't want to get in trouble.
11:09No, I know.
11:10My mom may see this.
11:12Can you name a president of another country
11:14other than your country in America?
11:15Macron.
11:16That's what I'm fucking saying.
11:17Americans never know this shit.
11:18What's the name of the channel?
11:20Mario Adrian.
11:21Is it all gay porn?
11:24It's gay porn and stand-up comedy.
11:26That's what it is.
11:27Everything is bigger in America.
11:28The women are thicker in America.
11:30Would you say the same applies to your penis size?
11:34No.
11:35I think America's penises are pretty average.
11:38I don't have a huge...
11:40I don't have a ton of experience with penises.
11:42You backpedaled on that one.
11:43You were like,
11:44America got damn fucking guns, freedom, you know,
11:46but my penis?
11:47No.
11:48Tell me what you think about that.
11:50The American dream is dead.
11:51What do you think is the sexiest accent?
11:52I mean, I got a thing for Germans.
11:54Really?
11:55Since I met you.
11:56I'm just, yeah,
11:57I'm kind of into the rough-around-the-edges German language.
11:59Yeah.
12:00So if I'm like,
12:01Hey, did you just come out of the oven?
12:02Because you are very hot.
12:05Check it now.
12:06American dream is back.
12:08I hope you learned something.
12:09Subscribe for more educational videos for science
12:12with the German BBC.
12:13Peace out.