Nothing Sacred
#hollywoodclassics #classichollywood #hollywoodclassicmovies #oldhollywoodclassicfilms #classichollywoodmovies #hollywood #classic
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00♪♪
00:00:11♪♪
00:00:21♪♪
00:00:31♪♪
00:00:41♪♪
00:00:51♪♪
00:01:01♪♪
00:01:11♪♪
00:01:21♪♪
00:01:31♪♪
00:01:41♪♪
00:01:51♪♪
00:02:01♪♪
00:02:11♪♪
00:02:21♪♪
00:02:31♪♪
00:02:41♪♪
00:02:51♪♪
00:03:01♪♪
00:03:11♪♪
00:03:21♪♪
00:03:31♪♪
00:03:41♪♪
00:03:51♪♪
00:04:01♪♪
00:04:11♪♪
00:04:21♪♪
00:04:31♪♪
00:04:41♪♪
00:04:46Well, my fine oriental potentate.
00:04:50I'm not going to have you arrested.
00:04:53I'm going to put you on the payroll as a janitor.
00:04:57Thank you, sir.
00:04:59And I always want you present in the local room,
00:05:02where my reporters and Mr. Wallace Cook
00:05:05can drink you in constantly as a warning against fakes.
00:05:11Yes, sir.
00:05:12May I ask, is Mr. Cook a reporter anymore?
00:05:16I wouldn't like for him to lose his job.
00:05:19He was very nice to me.
00:05:21Mr. Cook is not going to be discharged, Your Majesty.
00:05:26For his own good and the good of the Morning Star,
00:05:30I am going to remove him from the land of the living.
00:05:56One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
00:06:10Mr. Oliver, I tell you I'm innocent.
00:06:38I was just as fooled by old Black Joe as you were.
00:06:41I believed everything he said just as you did.
00:06:44Now, Oliver, either you cut out these fat-headed monkey shines of yours
00:06:47and let bygones be bygones,
00:06:49or I'm walking out of this fish trap right here and now.
00:06:51You're under contract to the Star for five more years.
00:06:54You're not in a position to resign
00:06:56unless you wish to retire from journalistic efforts over that period.
00:07:00Oliver, you're not going to keep me pounding out obituaries for five years.
00:07:04Those are my plans, Mr. Cook.
00:07:08That's gratitude.
00:07:11I'm the best reporter you ever had.
00:07:13I've handed you a hundred scoops.
00:07:15It isn't fair, Oliver.
00:07:17It isn't human.
00:07:18Shut up!
00:07:22Oliver, I don't like to say this.
00:07:25The paper is going to rack and ruin with me hidden away in that water cooler.
00:07:29Look at this.
00:07:30What's that?
00:07:31Poor little working girl doomed to death from radium poisoning.
00:07:33We've covered it.
00:07:34Covered it?
00:07:36You're getting old, Oliver.
00:07:38Look, it's one, two, three, four, five, six lines on hazel flag.
00:07:41A poor little kid with a few months to live at the outside.
00:07:43Doomed.
00:07:44Death staring her in the face.
00:07:46What does she feel?
00:07:47What does she think?
00:07:48Radium eating away her bones.
00:07:49Don't shout at me!
00:07:51Listen, Oliver, there's a story in this kid that ought to tear your heart out.
00:07:53Where is it?
00:07:54Why hasn't the Star got it?
00:07:55I'll tell you.
00:07:56Because I'm stuck away in a water cooler on account of some whim of yours.
00:07:59Listen, Oliver, give me a chance, will you?
00:08:01Tell me, may I drop dead, I'll redeem myself.
00:08:03I ought to be shot for what I'm thinking.
00:08:05What are you thinking?
00:08:06I'm thinking that maybe you ain't the most tittering imbecile on earth.
00:08:09I'm thinking that maybe you've learned your lesson.
00:08:12Oliver, so help me.
00:08:13I'll be in Vermont by morning.
00:08:14I'll dig you up a story that'll make this town swoon.
00:08:16Here's my hand on it.
00:08:23I've been through an inferno.
00:08:25I haven't been able to enter a cafe for the past three weeks without the band playing Dixie.
00:08:30Well, that was a coincidence.
00:08:31I've given you my hand.
00:08:32Go on.
00:08:33Redeem yourself.
00:08:34Thanks.
00:08:35You won't regret it.
00:08:38If I don't come back with the biggest story you ever handled,
00:08:40you can put me back in short pants and make me marble editor.
00:09:00Are you through?
00:09:17Yep.
00:09:18You know this girl, Hazel Flagg?
00:09:21Yep.
00:09:22Pretty girl, huh?
00:09:24Yep.
00:09:25Where is she now, in the hospital?
00:09:27Nope.
00:09:28Just walking around, huh?
00:09:30Laughing, carrying on, I suppose.
00:09:32Yep.
00:09:34What's your name?
00:09:35Coolidge?
00:09:36Nope.
00:09:38Well, if you aren't worn out talking, what is it?
00:09:41Bull.
00:09:42Mr. Bull, my name's Cook.
00:09:44I'm from the New York Star.
00:09:46I, uh, going to be filing a lot of stuff at your telegraph office here.
00:09:51I don't think you are.
00:09:53Well, who says?
00:09:54Paragon Watch Factory owns this town.
00:09:56They don't care to have any scandal printed.
00:09:59What they say goes.
00:10:01Better take the next train back.
00:10:03What kind of a fellow is this Dr. Downer?
00:10:05He won't talk to you.
00:10:06Nobody talks to you in this town.
00:10:08Except me.
00:10:10Better go home.
00:10:12Well, if you don't mind, I'll, uh, take a little stroll and have a look at the sights first.
00:10:16Well, I wouldn't talk at all if I knew I was going to do it for nothing.
00:10:19Oh, pardon me.
00:10:22I forgot I was in Vermont.
00:10:31Oh, well.
00:10:37Morning, sister.
00:10:41You in charge here?
00:10:42Yep.
00:10:45I've been wandering through your fascinating metropolis for an hour.
00:10:49Mind if I sit down here?
00:10:50Yep.
00:10:53I guess you misunderstood me.
00:10:54Nope.
00:11:01You know Hazel Flagg?
00:11:02Yep.
00:11:03Any idea where I could find her this morning?
00:11:07You're a newspaper man from New York.
00:11:09How'd you guess that, sister?
00:11:11You was a scribe to me.
00:11:12Will Bull can shoot his mouth off to you all he wants, but not me, nor anybody else in this town.
00:11:16This drugstore is run by the Paragon Watch Company.
00:11:18And they don't want any scandal monger New Yorkers snooping around.
00:11:23Okay, sister.
00:11:25How much do I owe you?
00:11:27Well, you've tooken up my time.
00:11:31Thank you very much.
00:11:32I'm sorry that I've tooken up so much of your time.
00:11:36Sorry.
00:11:46Oh, boy!
00:11:48Yeah!
00:11:49Oh, boy, do I like that!
00:11:51Oh, look at that!
00:11:52Oh, yeah!
00:11:53Yeah!
00:11:54Yeah!
00:11:55Oh, boy!
00:11:58Woo-hoo!
00:12:04Ah!
00:12:08Hey!
00:12:24Oh, morning.
00:12:25Dr. Downer in?
00:12:27Yes.
00:12:30Is that his office?
00:12:31Yes.
00:12:32Tell him Mr. Cook would like to see him.
00:12:34Tell him yourself.
00:12:50Dr. Downer?
00:12:51Yes?
00:12:54My name's Cook.
00:12:55I'm up here from New York.
00:12:57Sit down.
00:12:58I'll be with you in a minute.
00:13:05Nice day.
00:13:06Yep.
00:13:07Yep.
00:13:08What do you got, young man?
00:13:09Hive?
00:13:10Oh, no hives.
00:13:11There's a lot of hives going around.
00:13:13Miss George Nasher was took yesterday.
00:13:15You know her?
00:13:16Nope.
00:13:19Where did you say you were from?
00:13:20New York.
00:13:22I was wondering if you could tell me where I could find Hazel Flagg.
00:13:25From New York, eh?
00:13:26Yep.
00:13:27You know what I think, young fella?
00:13:29I think you're a newspaper man.
00:13:30I can smell him.
00:13:31I've always been able to smell him.
00:13:33Excuse me while I open the window.
00:13:39I'll tell you briefly what I think of newspaper men.
00:13:43The hand of God reaching down into the mire
00:13:46couldn't elevate one of them to the depths of degradation.
00:13:49Not by a million miles.
00:13:52I think you're being a little severe toward my profession.
00:13:54Not much, but just a little.
00:13:55Nothing of the sort.
00:13:56I am a fair-minded man, young fella.
00:13:58But when you've been robbed, swindled, cheated for 22 years out of a fortune,
00:14:02it's pardonable to formulate an opinion.
00:14:05From New York, eh?
00:14:06Yep.
00:14:07You don't happen to know of a newspaper called The Morning Star?
00:14:11You have the honor, Dr. Downer,
00:14:13of addressing that newspaper's most gifted representative.
00:14:16Moses in the mountains.
00:14:18You're from The Morning Star.
00:14:19Stay right where you are.
00:14:20Don't move.
00:14:21I'll show you something that'll freeze you.
00:14:24Listen, Doctor.
00:14:25I'm getting sick of this taffy pull.
00:14:27Where can I get hold of Hazel Flagg?
00:14:29Don't talk to me about Hazel Flagg.
00:14:31Notary.
00:14:33Here's the evidence.
00:14:35Now, I appeal to you as a man of learning, Dr. Downer.
00:14:38What is Miss Flagg's address?
00:14:40Don't waste my time, young fella.
00:14:42Here, read that.
00:14:43That's a copy of an essay I wrote.
00:14:45Read it.
00:14:46Go on.
00:14:47Tip for tat.
00:14:48Give me her address,
00:14:49and I'll pore over these interesting documents all night.
00:14:51I entered this contest with a clean pair of hands.
00:14:55Who are the sixth greatest American?
00:14:57I named them and proved why,
00:14:59writing on one side of the paper.
00:15:00And what happened?
00:15:01Did I win the $10,000?
00:15:03No, sirree.
00:15:04Did I win the $5,000?
00:15:06Did they even try to save their face
00:15:07by giving me one of the smaller $1,000 prizes?
00:15:10Not that gang of chicken thieves.
00:15:13Here's what they gave me.
00:15:14Read it.
00:15:15A check for $1.
00:15:16Young fella, for 22 years.
00:15:17I must ask you, Dr. Downer, to be reasonable.
00:15:19You can't harbor a grudge for 22 years.
00:15:21I'll harbor it till I die.
00:15:22Wait and see.
00:15:23The Morning Star had a chance to win my respect 22 years ago.
00:15:27They saw fit to swindle and belittle me very well.
00:15:30I'll prove to them before I die
00:15:32who the sixth great Americans are
00:15:34and who was entitled to the first prize.
00:15:40I could do better in darkest Africa.
00:15:42You know who got that $10,000?
00:15:44The editor's wife.
00:15:45Whoa!
00:15:56Morning.
00:16:08You don't have to sit there looking so dramatic, Hazel,
00:16:10like Eliza crossing the ice.
00:16:12Well, I can't help feeling a little bad
00:16:14you couldn't either if you were going to die any minute.
00:16:17Well, you can stop giving yourself
00:16:18the airs of a dying swan.
00:16:20According to this last analysis I made,
00:16:22you ain't going to die
00:16:24unless you get run over or something.
00:16:26What?
00:16:28You heard me.
00:16:29I don't like to chew my cabbage twice.
00:16:31Enoch.
00:16:32Enoch, I'm not going to die.
00:16:35You're fitter than a fiddle.
00:16:36And stop gawking at me or I'll cut myself.
00:16:40Oh, I've got to cry, Enoch.
00:16:42I can't help it.
00:16:43Come, come, come.
00:16:44This is no way to behave in a doctor's office.
00:16:47Besides, that soap will give you
00:16:48the darndest bellyache you ever had.
00:16:51Oh, Enoch, you saved my life.
00:16:53Oh, it was nothing.
00:16:55That first diagnosis I made was a mistake.
00:16:57I got so that I was seeing radium poisoning everywhere.
00:17:00I've been awfully brave, haven't I?
00:17:01Not to cry before.
00:17:02Please, Dad.
00:17:04Well, now that it's over,
00:17:06I don't mind telling you, Hazel,
00:17:08I felt kind of sorry for you.
00:17:10Sorry.
00:17:13I...
00:17:19I've been under a great strain.
00:17:27You know, I don't know what I'm so happy about, Enoch.
00:17:29You sort of spoiled my trip.
00:17:33What trip's that, Hazel?
00:17:34You know, I was going to take that $200
00:17:36you get for dying in Warsaw
00:17:37and go to New York and blow it all in
00:17:40and now I've got to stay in Warsaw.
00:17:42So, that's your gratitude to me
00:17:45for snatching you from the jaws of death.
00:17:51You know, I don't know which I am,
00:17:52happy or miserable.
00:17:53I'm all mixed up.
00:17:55Enoch, listen.
00:17:56Do you have to hand in that report to the factory?
00:17:58I know it sounds a little dishonest.
00:18:01I'd do it like a shot, Hazel.
00:18:03Only I'd lose my job the minute they found out
00:18:05you weren't going to die.
00:18:07And besides, there's the ethics.
00:18:10Well, thanks for all your trouble.
00:18:12I'm terribly grateful.
00:18:18If only it's kind of startling
00:18:20to be brought to life twice
00:18:22and each time in Warsaw.
00:18:31Miss Flagg.
00:18:32Pardon me, I'm Wallace Cook
00:18:34from the New York Star.
00:18:35I came up to see you.
00:18:36I know it's hard for you to talk,
00:18:38but if you just listen to me for a little while...
00:18:39I have nothing to say now.
00:18:41It's sort of too late.
00:18:43I know how you feel, Miss Flagg,
00:18:45but I won't ask you any questions about your ailment.
00:18:47I was just going to see Dr. Dower.
00:18:49He told me...
00:18:50Oh, please don't cry.
00:18:51I was thinking while I was waiting for you to come out
00:18:53and I got an idea.
00:18:54I want you to come to New York with me.
00:18:56What?
00:18:57As my guest.
00:18:58As the guest of the Morning Star.
00:18:59Now, don't say anything till I tell you.
00:19:00Oh, I'm not saying anything.
00:19:01If you were my sister
00:19:02or somebody close to me,
00:19:03I'd take you out of Warsaw
00:19:05and you'd be better alive, Miss Flagg.
00:19:07Oh, I've always wanted to see the world outside before I...
00:19:09It's tragic.
00:19:10You've lived here all your life.
00:19:11Twice that long.
00:19:12You poor kid.
00:19:13You've never been to New York.
00:19:14Oh, my grandmother took me there when I was three,
00:19:16but I didn't appreciate it.
00:19:17Listen, we'll show you the town.
00:19:18We'll take you everywhere.
00:19:19You'll have more fun than if you lived a hundred years
00:19:21in this moth-eaten, yep-or-no village.
00:19:23Oh, that's so very true.
00:19:24Is it a bargain?
00:19:25I don't know.
00:19:26It would be imposing on everybody because...
00:19:28Imposing?
00:19:29In what way?
00:19:30I just thought it'd be wrong to make people sad.
00:19:32It'd be kind of a killjoy, wouldn't it?
00:19:33Listen, I'll be frank with you.
00:19:34Even if I sound like a ghoul, you'll be a sensation.
00:19:36The whole town will take you to its heart.
00:19:38You'll have everything you've ever dreamed of
00:19:39and you'll have it on a silver platter.
00:19:41You'll be like Aladdin with a magic lamp to rub.
00:19:43You mean they'll like me just because I'm dying?
00:19:47Oh, that's a cruel way to put it.
00:19:48No, they'll like you because you'll be a symbol
00:19:50of courage and heroism.
00:19:52We'll talk about it on the plane.
00:19:54An airplane?
00:19:55You mean we're going to fly there?
00:19:56Sure, sure.
00:19:57We haven't much time.
00:19:58I'm sorry.
00:19:59I mean, the sooner you get there,
00:20:00the more time you'll have to enjoy yourself.
00:20:02You know, I was going to go there
00:20:03before I saved up $100.
00:20:04And $100 million couldn't buy her
00:20:05the fun of morning stalking, did it?
00:20:06Come on.
00:20:07Oh, no, wait.
00:20:08I've got to take him with me.
00:20:09With a kid on a bicycle?
00:20:10Oh, no, no, Enoch, Dr. Donner.
00:20:11You wait here.
00:20:12Oh, you won't go away with him?
00:20:13Nope.
00:20:14Well, I'll go ask him.
00:20:15Will you wait here?
00:20:16Yep.
00:20:17Oh, good.
00:20:18Enoch!
00:20:19Enoch!
00:20:20Enoch!
00:20:21Enoch!
00:20:22Enoch!
00:20:43Oh, Enoch, look!
00:20:45I don't care for scenery from this point of view.
00:20:47But that's the Statue of Liberty!
00:20:50I've seen it.
00:20:52I got in touch with Oliver, or Oliver Stone, my editor, he's toe dancing in the street
00:21:08waiting for us.
00:21:09Oh, I hope he's nice like you.
00:21:10Well, he's got a different quality of charm, he's sort of a cross between a Ferris wheel
00:21:14and a werewolf, but with a lovable streak if you care to blast for it.
00:21:19You getting nervous?
00:21:20Oh, no, no.
00:21:21I just hope he won't have a lot of long-whiskered doctors lined up to harass me.
00:21:25You know, I'm not coming to New York to play guinea pig for a lot of scientists.
00:21:28Everybody knows the radium poisoning is incurable, so why waste any time in that direction?
00:21:34Don't you worry about that.
00:21:36You won't be bothered at all.
00:21:37You know, I'm not going to bed until I have convulsions and my teeth start falling out.
00:21:41That's when I begin worrying, isn't it, Enoch?
00:21:44This is as good a time as any.
00:21:46How are you feeling now, sailor?
00:21:48Hunky-dory, skipper.
00:21:49Well, there she is, in all her beads and ribbons.
00:22:00Mr. Cook?
00:22:01Yes.
00:22:02Oh, thank you.
00:22:04Oh, it's from Oliver.
00:22:05He's almost tongue-tied with excitement.
00:22:07He's worked up a nutty demonstration.
00:22:09New York is going to lay its heart at your feet.
00:22:11While the whistles blow and the bands play and the cameras grind.
00:22:15How about you, sailor?
00:22:18Anything you care to say as we go into action?
00:22:20Oh, I'm going to have a marvelous time.
00:22:22Whatever happens afterwards, I mean about the convulsions and all that,
00:22:24I'm going to have fun first.
00:22:26I am.
00:22:27I am.
00:22:28Well, if that doesn't make them cry, nothing will.
00:22:30Cry?
00:22:31Why should they cry?
00:22:32Because you're the bravest kid that ever lived.
00:22:35There's no fake about it this time.
00:22:38Oh, look!
00:23:47Hey!
00:24:18Don't excite yourself too much.
00:24:19It's just a fake.
00:24:20What did you say?
00:24:21I said, don't excite yourself too much.
00:24:22It's just a fake.
00:24:23Who?
00:24:24Who's a fake?
00:24:25Those grapplers.
00:24:26The only square thing about them is the ring.
00:24:28Oh, them?
00:24:29They're a symbol of the whole town.
00:24:30Pretending to fight, love, weep, and laugh all the time.
00:24:33And they're phonies, all of them.
00:24:35And I had the list.
00:24:36Oh, no, you don't.
00:24:37Don't say that.
00:24:38Using you to get a bonus and a byline on the front page.
00:24:41Making good over your poor little cane rack body.
00:24:45I'm worse than those fake grapplers.
00:24:47I feel fine tonight, Wally.
00:24:48You and the morning star have been so wonderful to me.
00:24:50You know, these wonderful gowns and the banquets
00:24:52and the theater tickets and the poetry.
00:24:55Stop looking so happy and gallant, will you?
00:24:58It breaks my heart.
00:25:00Come on!
00:25:30Ladies and gentlemen, I have just learned that Ms. Hazel Flagg is in the audience.
00:25:58I would like to ask this distinguished audience to observe ten seconds of silence in respect for Ms. Flagg.
00:26:28Okay, boys.
00:26:58Would it interfere with your running the fleet if I asked you something personal?
00:27:10That's what we're here for, to get personal. Proceed.
00:27:14There's a loose halyard forward. Go make it fast, will you?
00:27:16Yes, my little mariner, yes.
00:27:18Try not to go overboard.
00:27:20I asked several people, but they didn't know.
00:27:22Didn't know what?
00:27:24If you were married.
00:27:26The answer in capital letters is no, N-O.
00:27:30N-O?
00:27:31N-O.
00:27:32Oh, I see. I don't suppose newspaper men marry as a rule.
00:27:36Not after they're 14 or 15. That's the dangerous age for the journalist.
00:27:40His ideals are not yet formed and he falls easy prey to elderly waitresses.
00:27:44Once his finer side is born, he waits.
00:27:47For what?
00:27:48The sound of the fire alarm, Ms. Flagg, waits to go rushing off to the fire.
00:27:52What fire is that, Mr. Cook?
00:27:54Love.
00:27:55I used to hear about that in Warsaw.
00:27:57Yeah, it's gotten around.
00:28:26You having fun?
00:28:28Yes, but you know, I get kind of depressed.
00:28:31You know, last night when I entered the theater, everybody moaned.
00:28:34Oh.
00:28:35You know, I might as well be a case of walking cholera.
00:28:39Don't do that!
00:28:45I used to love New York when I went gaga over some celebrity.
00:28:49Danced in the streets with a neon light round its heart.
00:28:54Getting fed up with its trick tears and phony lamentations over you.
00:28:58I'm glad they're phony. It makes everything all right in a way.
00:29:01What I mean is, I wouldn't want to feel I was really making all those people suffer.
00:29:17Wally! Wally, look at that man with the toupee!
00:29:23Wally!
00:29:44Greetings, greetings, my little folks.
00:29:48Tonight there is one among us
00:29:50who adds a bit of unaccustomed drama to our little revel.
00:29:54She sits here, eyes sparkling, her face wreathed in a lovely smile.
00:30:00Drinking in the charm, the glitter, the gay sounds of life.
00:30:07So drink your wine, laugh and applaud
00:30:10while this little doomed child sits saying goodbye to you.
00:30:15Her last goodbye with a grateful smile on her lips.
00:30:21So on with the show, my little actors all.
00:30:26On with the show for tonight you are not the famous folk of Broadway.
00:30:31Tonight you are just a little chorus laughing and dancing and pirouetting
00:30:36to afford a last brief hour of mirth and jollity
00:30:40to America's simplest and sweetest of heroines,
00:30:44Miss Hazel Black.
00:30:57For good, clean fun, there's nothing like a wake.
00:31:00Oh, please, please, let's not talk shop.
00:31:04Our next number tonight, ladies and gentlemen,
00:31:07is entitled The Heroines of History.
00:31:11THE HEROINES OF HISTORY
00:31:19Catherine the Great, who saved Russia.
00:31:22She could do it, too.
00:31:35Lady Godiva, who saved her virtue.
00:31:38That's the way those things go, folks.
00:32:00Katinka, who saved Holland by putting her finger in the dike.
00:32:04Show them the finger, babe.
00:32:20Pocahontas, who saved Captain John Smith
00:32:23and later on set him up in the cough drop business.
00:32:34No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:32:42Now, ladies and gentlemen, I want you to meet that little girl
00:32:45from Warsaw, Vermont.
00:32:47That little soldier whose heroic smile in the face of death
00:32:51has wrung tears and cheers from the great stone heart of the city.
00:32:57I humbly invite her now to take her place
00:33:00beside all the great heroines of history.
00:33:04Our own Miss Hazel Flagg.
00:33:30THE HEROINES OF HISTORY
00:34:00THE HEROINES OF HISTORY
00:34:22Look, something has happened to Hazel.
00:34:26Hazel, Hazel, don't speak to me.
00:34:28Look out, young fellow, let me at her.
00:34:31Has it, has it come?
00:34:33Doctor, I want to know the worst.
00:34:35I don't want you to spare our feelings.
00:34:37We go to press in 15 minutes.
00:34:44Is there a chance, Doctor?
00:34:46I've been expecting something like this.
00:34:48Let's get her out of here.
00:34:50Quick.
00:34:55Please, everybody, take your seats.
00:34:58Quiet, please, take your seats.
00:35:00There must be no commotion.
00:35:02The show must go on.
00:35:04Hazel would want it that way.
00:35:10I'm disgusted with you, Hazel.
00:35:12Getting drunk in the middle of a memorial.
00:35:14Now lie down like I tell you.
00:35:16I'm not drunk.
00:35:17I just had a little sip or so
00:35:19and then all those buffaloes ran over me.
00:35:22They weren't buffaloes, they were horses.
00:35:24I might have been trampled to death.
00:35:27Don't yell, I tell you.
00:35:29If somebody respectable could see you now,
00:35:31that would be pretty, wouldn't it?
00:35:33Shame on you.
00:35:35Take your stockings off.
00:35:37Yeah, the doctors take them off themselves.
00:35:48Hey, what are you doing?
00:35:54It's three o'clock in the morning.
00:36:01If anything happens, we'll have to replay it.
00:36:04That's all that counts to you, isn't it, you birdbrain?
00:36:07With a headline for a heart.
00:36:09That poor gallant little kid standing in front of that goofy bunch of horses and smiling.
00:36:13Just smiling.
00:36:14Don't waste copy on me, Wallace.
00:36:16Oliver, there's the sweetest, loveliest kid in there that ever lived.
00:36:20Yes, you said that before, Wally.
00:36:23I'm through.
00:36:24I can't play pallbearer any longer. I'm resigning.
00:36:27She's all right, gentlemen.
00:36:29Sleeping like a little baby.
00:36:31No, are you sure?
00:36:33Just as if nothing had happened.
00:36:35She'll be fitter than a fiddle in the morning.
00:36:37Three o'clock in the morning.
00:36:46Oh.
00:36:49Oh.
00:36:51Oh, my gosh.
00:36:52Miss Rafferty, Miss Rafferty.
00:36:54Yes?
00:36:55Oh, make them stop bringing that phone.
00:36:57It'll break my head open.
00:37:00Hello?
00:37:01I don't want to talk to anybody.
00:37:03Just a minute.
00:37:04There are 20 little schoolchildren downstairs to sing for you.
00:37:08Mr. Stone arranged for it yesterday.
00:37:10Oh, it's horrible.
00:37:12I'll go mad.
00:37:15Send them up.
00:37:17You may bring them up, sir.
00:37:18Oh, my gosh.
00:37:19There's a sawmill inside my head.
00:37:22You may leave the room, Miss Rafferty.
00:37:29I brought you something.
00:37:33Raw eggs.
00:37:36Just what you need.
00:37:39The albumen counteracts the alcohol.
00:37:48Suck them right down.
00:37:49Settle your stomach.
00:37:50Go on.
00:37:51I got a whole dozen.
00:37:53Is this the way drunks feel?
00:37:55Hazel, you've got what is known in medicine as a hangover.
00:38:00I've got something worse than that.
00:38:02I've got a conscience.
00:38:04Keep on sucking that egg and your conscience will go away.
00:38:08I'm ruining it.
00:38:11Let me have your pulse, Hazel.
00:38:15Don't jiggle me.
00:38:16My pulse is all right.
00:38:17I'm as healthy as a knife.
00:38:19Well, stop groaning, then.
00:38:20You old fraud, you know what I'm groaning about.
00:38:23Oh, I wish I had radium poisoning or something awful,
00:38:26and then I wouldn't ruin it.
00:38:28Who's this you're ruining, Hazel?
00:38:30Wallace, Mr. Cook.
00:38:32Oh, him.
00:38:33Have another egg.
00:38:34Enoch, listen.
00:38:35He thinks I've helped him become a great journalist,
00:38:37and they're going to give him a bonus.
00:38:39Mr. Stone is a bonus.
00:38:41It's coming out of the $10,000 they owe me.
00:38:43If I'm not complaining, why should he worry?
00:38:45He thinks I've helped him, and it makes him feel better.
00:38:48Oh, I can't stand it.
00:38:50You know what'll happen when they find out I'm a horrible
00:38:52good-for-nothing fake?
00:38:53They'll blame him, everybody.
00:38:55They'll just burn down the newspaper,
00:38:57and the mayor, he'll have Wally Lynch.
00:38:59You just wait and see.
00:39:00Oh, Enoch, why did you let me come to New York?
00:39:03You were only as honest as you look.
00:39:07Mr. Cook is here to see Miss Flagg.
00:39:11Do you feel able to speak to him?
00:39:13Oh, I'll tell him right away.
00:39:23Tell him to come in.
00:39:24Come in.
00:39:32Hello.
00:39:33Hello, Hazel.
00:39:34Hello.
00:39:35Hello, Doctor.
00:39:38It, uh, it won't hurt her if I visit awhile.
00:39:41She's doing very well for her last few weeks.
00:39:48See, I'm glad to hear that, Hazel.
00:39:50I was, uh, we were worried.
00:39:53Excuse me.
00:39:56I wouldn't have disturbed you, but, uh, I'm going away,
00:39:59and I thought I might not see you again.
00:40:01You're going away where?
00:40:03Oh, just to Albany.
00:40:06What for?
00:40:07Just to see the governor.
00:40:08Wallace, what are you doing in Albany with the governor?
00:40:10Well, Hazel, he mustn't get overwrought.
00:40:12Well, if it's about me, I must know about it.
00:40:14It's, uh, about the arrangements, Hazel.
00:40:18What arrangements?
00:40:20For the funeral.
00:40:21What funeral?
00:40:23Yours.
00:40:25Oh.
00:40:28Have I, have I shocked you?
00:40:30Oh, no, oh, no.
00:40:31Everybody has to have a funeral sometimes.
00:40:33Oh, but not like yours, darling.
00:40:37Gee, I meant to keep it as a surprise.
00:40:41Oh, it's better this way.
00:40:42You're telling me in advance so I can get used to it.
00:40:45Oh, I hope it's going to be a little funeral.
00:40:47Oh, I'm afraid that's way, way impossible, Hazel.
00:40:50According to the present registration,
00:40:52there'll be about 30,000 automobiles
00:40:54and a considerable group on foot.
00:40:56About half a million, I think.
00:40:59Oh, my.
00:41:00Well, that's not half enough to mourn for you.
00:41:04Oliver thought we could get the president,
00:41:06but, uh, he's still fishing.
00:41:09I arranged to have the symphony orchestra there instead.
00:41:11Well, if it's all arranged, why are you going to Auburn?
00:41:14Well, uh, I had an idea this morning.
00:41:17I'm getting the, uh, governor to declare a public holiday
00:41:20for the, uh, occasion.
00:41:21Oh, like St. Valentine's Day.
00:41:23I'm glad I told you.
00:41:25Hazel, I want you to know now and always,
00:41:28I think you're magnificent.
00:41:30Oh, please, please don't say that.
00:41:33Do you have to go away?
00:41:34Well, I'll be back by night.
00:41:36I've got another surprise for you,
00:41:38but I'll, I'll not tell you now.
00:41:39Oh, I've got to hear it.
00:41:43Well, I, I promised you I wouldn't do this.
00:41:46You wouldn't do what?
00:41:47Call in any other doctors.
00:41:49Hazel, I know you have great faith in Enoch,
00:41:52but I've broken my promise.
00:41:54Dr. Emil Egelhofer is arriving on the wrecks this afternoon.
00:41:58He's from Vienna.
00:41:59And I'm bringing him up to see you.
00:42:01What for?
00:42:02Hazel, he is the greatest expert on radium poisoning in the world.
00:42:06I know it's incurable,
00:42:07but when I heard he was on the wrecks, I radioed him.
00:42:10There's, there's always an outside chance.
00:42:12You know, just one in a million.
00:42:15You know, I'm sorry.
00:42:16I, I've got to run to get the 10 o'clock plane.
00:42:19Hazel, I, I know it's a long shot,
00:42:22but we can hope, hmm?
00:42:26Goodbye.
00:42:28Goodbye.
00:42:32Pardon.
00:42:39The little children are here, Hazel.
00:42:41What little children?
00:42:42They've come to sing for you.
00:42:43Enoch, this is the end.
00:42:44Huh?
00:42:45Don't ask any questions, just listen to me.
00:42:46We're caught.
00:42:47Dr. Egelhofer's coming here tonight to, to expose me and Wally.
00:42:50You've got nothing to fear from any doctor who comes snooping around here.
00:42:55Better have another egg.
00:42:56Oh, there's only one way out.
00:42:57There's only one way to save you and me and Wally.
00:42:59I've got to commit suicide in advance before that scientist gets to me.
00:43:02I've, I've got to be proud.
00:43:03Oh, shut this egg, I tell you.
00:43:04Oh, shut up.
00:43:05I'll leave a note to the city thanking everybody.
00:43:08You, you get rid of the nurse for the evening,
00:43:09and then I'll jump into the river.
00:43:11Somebody's bound to see me jump in,
00:43:12and you'll be waiting in a rowboat to fish me out.
00:43:14And I'll swim underwater, and I'll change my name,
00:43:17and, and hide away for the rest of my life,
00:43:19and never, never see him again.
00:43:22Oh, they'll haul the funeral without me.
00:43:30For you, Hazel, we are cheering
00:43:34Now the end is finally nearing
00:43:39Like an angel you're appearing
00:43:43Who makes for Hazel Flag
00:43:48Gala, make a flag, believe us
00:43:51Your passing will so deeply grieve us
00:43:56When you only have to leave us
00:43:59Three cheers for Hazel Flag
00:44:04Hazel Flag is going fast
00:44:06She's helping with the tide
00:44:08She's riding waves of glory
00:44:10Towards that alien other side
00:44:13Hazel Flag is going through the forest land above
00:44:17Hazel Flag is going through the sky
00:44:26Hazel Flag
00:44:57Hello, honey. This is Ernest.
00:45:00Honey, what kind of flowers do you like?
00:45:03Huh?
00:45:05Don't worry, honey, they're all the same price.
00:45:08I'm getting them wholesale.
00:45:10Be right up, honey.
00:45:26Hazel...
00:45:45Hello, get me the Morning Star quick.
00:45:48Who committed suicide?
00:45:51Read it to me.
00:45:52Dear New York City, goodbye.
00:45:55Remember me as someone you made very happy.
00:45:58I have enjoyed everything.
00:46:01There's only one thing left to enjoy.
00:46:04Your river that smiles outside of my window.
00:46:09It is easy to die when the heart is full of gratitude.
00:46:14Hazel Flag.
00:46:19Hello, Oliver. Oh, we got our holiday.
00:46:21The governor has agreed to...
00:46:22Hold up.
00:46:25Jumping H. Celeste.
00:46:27She's double-crossed us.
00:46:28Who has?
00:46:29Miss Flag.
00:46:31She's gone over to some other paper?
00:46:32She's gone into the river.
00:46:34Listen, you weasel brain, what are you trying to tell me?
00:46:37Hazel Flag has committed suicide.
00:46:39I don't believe it.
00:46:41Ernest, your sultan found her suicide note.
00:46:45He saw her leave the hotel five minutes ago.
00:46:48Give me the mayor at once.
00:46:50Get the governor. Tell him we want that holiday tomorrow.
00:46:52You're a fine pair of grave diggers, you and the governor both.
00:46:55Hello, hello, mayor.
00:46:56This is Wallace Cook of the Star calling.
00:47:23One, two, three.
00:47:28Enoch! Enoch!
00:47:32Okay, Hazel, okay.
00:47:36One, two, three.
00:47:40Hazel! Stop!
00:47:46Stop! Stop!
00:47:49Stop! Stop!
00:47:52You crazy fool!
00:47:54What the devil's the matter with you?
00:47:56What are you trying to do?
00:48:12Wally! Wally, are you all right?
00:48:14Sure, I'm all right.
00:48:17But I can't swim.
00:48:20Get in.
00:48:42It's a fine, sweet trick you tried to play.
00:48:45What did you say to Albany?
00:48:46Jumping off up here like some hophead.
00:48:48I didn't jump. I was pushed.
00:48:49Scaring everybody out of their wits?
00:48:50No, boy, I wasn't scared.
00:48:52Listen, either you give me your word of honor you won't try that again or I'll spank your little...
00:48:55Oh, Wallace, don't you think you ought to notify him that you've located me?
00:48:57You know, it seems unfair to have him dragging the river.
00:48:59Oh, the fresh air will do him good.
00:49:01Come on, I want to talk to you.
00:49:03Wally!
00:49:05This is as good a place as any.
00:49:07Get in.
00:49:11Oh, it's awfully cozy, isn't it?
00:49:14Are you still mad at me?
00:49:15I'm mad at myself.
00:49:17Drooling away to you about the funeral.
00:49:19That's what drove you to it.
00:49:20To be really frank with you, Wallace, it wasn't that at all.
00:49:23Oh, darling, I'd love to sit in here with you for the rest of my life.
00:49:35Will you marry me?
00:49:36What?
00:49:38If you heard me, will you marry me?
00:49:40Oh, Wally.
00:49:41Come on, answer me.
00:49:43Darling, there's no future in it.
00:49:44Now, don't talk like a half-wit.
00:49:46I don't care about the future.
00:49:48Oh, Wally, if things were normal, I...
00:49:50Oh, Wally, I...
00:49:51I mustn't.
00:49:52Don't ask me.
00:49:53Please just kiss me once more and let it go without...
00:49:55without ruining your life.
00:49:57So what the devil is there better to life than we've got?
00:50:00A handful of perfect dollars.
00:50:02That's all the luckiest ever get out of it.
00:50:04Just a handful of hours to save and remember.
00:50:08Then I'll be there at the end, sailor.
00:50:12I'll be there waving you goodbye.
00:50:15It'll be the same as if you and I had lived forever.
00:50:18And you'll...
00:50:20grow old in my heart.
00:50:22Oh, please.
00:50:31You seen anything of a young lady what jumped in the river?
00:50:34Yes, yes, she's right here.
00:50:36All right.
00:50:37Jim, get the bull-motor.
00:50:38Oh, never mind the bull-motor.
00:50:40Now, her breathing's fine.
00:50:41Just...
00:50:43Just drive us to her hotel, will you?
00:50:46Sure, jump in.
00:50:58Jump in, Jimminy.
00:51:05Oh, oh, thank you.
00:51:06You're welcome.
00:51:11You're welcome.
00:51:14Uh, you're welcome.
00:51:15Well, thanks.
00:51:17Looks as if I finally get my ride on a fire engine.
00:51:20Oh, yes.
00:51:24Jim?
00:51:25Jim.
00:51:26Okay, Jim!
00:51:34Oh, Jimminy, Jimminy!
00:51:40Jim!
00:51:46I think I'll go down and bat out the story.
00:51:48Oliver's having a cat fit.
00:51:50You know, I've been misjudging him.
00:51:52When I told him you were safe and sound,
00:51:54he choked up and he couldn't talk for a minute.
00:51:57Oh, yes, he's very sweet.
00:51:59Well, I'll see you in the morning.
00:52:02Have a good sleep.
00:52:04Good night.
00:52:05Yes.
00:52:06Oh, it's a big fire.
00:52:08Oh, if you ever hate me, remember this and this and this and this.
00:52:20The biggest fire since Rome.
00:52:24Well, well, well.
00:52:26Hello, Azor.
00:52:27Come in.
00:52:28I was wondering whatever become of you.
00:52:33Enoch, who is that man?
00:52:35Enoch, who is that man?
00:52:37Oh, he's just a stranger from Europe, dropped in for a little chat.
00:52:40We've been...
00:52:41We've been...
00:52:42We've been...
00:52:43We've been...
00:52:44We've been...
00:52:45We've been...
00:52:46We've been...
00:52:47We've been...
00:52:48We've been...
00:52:49We've been...
00:52:50We've been...
00:52:51We've been...
00:52:52We've been...
00:52:53We've been...
00:52:54We've been...
00:52:55We've been...
00:52:56We've been discussing medicine, pro and con.
00:52:58Excuse me.
00:52:59I wanted to shoot Hazel Flag.
00:53:01Mr. uh.
00:53:02What did you say your name was?
00:53:04Egilhofer.
00:53:05Dr. Emil Egilhofer.
00:53:06Dr. Emil Egilhofer.
00:53:07Dr. Emil Egilhofer.
00:53:08Dr. Offerlinger?
00:53:11Seems to me I've heard of you somewhere, doctor.
00:53:13Seems to me I've heard of you somewhere, doctor.
00:53:14Oh, Enoch.
00:53:15Enjoy that though.
00:53:16Oh, Enoch.
00:53:17I received a radio on the ship from the morning star, Miss Flag,
00:53:20which excited my professional as well as humane interest.
00:53:24And I called on you at once.
00:53:28Ah, that must be my colleagues.
00:53:32Good night, gentlemen.
00:53:37This is the young lady, Miss Hazel Flagg.
00:53:40Dr. Oswald Funch of Prague.
00:53:45Dr. Felix Marachovsky of Moscow.
00:53:49Dr. Friedrich Kirschenweiser of Berlin.
00:53:54All the darkies and the weeping masses in the cold, cold ground.
00:54:07There is no vestige, no trace, no single symptom of radium poisoning in this young woman, Mr. Stone.
00:54:16We had some trouble with that horse doctor from Vermont.
00:54:21But we took the x-rays regardless.
00:54:25Are you sure you examined the right woman and not some, some imposter?
00:54:32Oh, the only imposter in this case, Mr. Stone, is this young woman we examined.
00:54:38The young woman who is known as Hazel Flagg.
00:54:42Here's a full report of this examination.
00:54:45Here's the x-ray pictures showing the entire skeleton of this young woman known as Hazel Flagg.
00:54:51And here, Mr. Stone, is my bill.
00:54:55Ahem, our bill.
00:54:59And I will assure you, not me or my colleagues will say one single word of this to the newspaper.
00:55:08Goodbye. You have nothing more to worry about, Mr. Stone.
00:55:12Your troubles are over.
00:55:23Send me up four sluggers from the circulation department.
00:55:27Send me up four sluggers from the circulation department.
00:55:41I've got a bulletin of new lead for you on Hazel Flagg that's going to read that sour puss of yours into a nosegay of smiles.
00:55:48Now sit tight and tuck in your ears.
00:55:51Miss Flagg is getting married tonight.
00:55:53And wish me luck, old weasel brain, it's me.
00:56:00Now listen, I know it sounds hysterical, marrying somebody with a few weeks to live.
00:56:05Like honeymooning with a hearse at the front door.
00:56:09But Oliver, it's on the square.
00:56:15What's the matter with you?
00:56:17Listen, I want you to be best man up.
00:56:19Is he a steward or something? I came in for congratulations.
00:56:23What's up? What's eating you?
00:56:26I am sitting here, Mr. Cook, trying to figure some way out of the blackest disaster that has ever struck down an innocent man since the days of Judas Iscariot.
00:56:39What are you mumbling about? What disaster?
00:56:42I am sitting here, Mr. Cook, trying to figure some way out of the blackest disaster that has ever struck down an innocent man since the days of Judas Iscariot.
00:56:49I am sitting here, Mr. Cook, toying with the idea of removing your heart and stuffing it like an olive.
00:56:58Hang on, Oliver. You're going screwy. I'll get water.
00:57:01You'll ruin me. You'll ruin the morning star.
00:57:04You'll blacken forever the fair name of journalism.
00:57:07You and that foul botch of nature, Hazel Flagg.
00:57:12You got some excuse for those words, Oliver. Let's have it quick.
00:57:14Excuse? Excuse? Look at that.
00:57:18Look at that skeleton. Not a bone missing. Down to the last healthy vertebra intact.
00:57:25Read that. Rub your nose in it. That's Hazel Flagg. The biggest fake of the century.
00:57:31A lying, faking witch with the soul of an eel and the brain of a tarantula.
00:57:36She hasn't got anything wrong with her at all.
00:57:39Sweet heaven, I can't believe it.
00:57:41I can't believe it. It's like some miracle.
00:57:44Get to the Waldorf Hotel as quick as you can.
00:57:47Grab Hazel Flagg and bring her to this office. If you have to, drag her through the street by the hair.
00:57:51So help me, Oliver. If you hurt that kid, I'll knock you cold. I'll bring her.
00:57:54You stay here and watch that maniac. Watch every move he makes.
00:57:57I want Hazel Flagg in this office within half an hour.
00:58:00You're staying here.
00:58:02Oliver, you're not going to hurt her. Shut up!
00:58:04I'm marrying her. Get that into that monkey skull of yours.
00:58:07I don't care how we've been taking or what she's done. I'm in love with her.
00:58:09Oh, that's a beautiful thought.
00:58:11It's not on my knees that she's a fraud and a fake and isn't going to die.
00:58:14You're on your knees thanking God, are you, when the whole town's getting ready to laugh at us.
00:58:18A howl that'll be heard around the world.
00:58:20Let them laugh. I'll do my own laughing back.
00:58:22It'll be worse than the French Revolution.
00:58:24I hope I'm here when it breaks.
00:58:26I want to make one speech to our dear readers before they carry our heads off on a pike.
00:58:30I want to tell them we've been their benefactors.
00:58:32We gave them a chance to pretend that their phony hearts were dripping with the milk of human kindness.
00:58:37What's your name?
00:58:39Me? Max.
00:58:41What's your office, Max?
00:58:43Quiet, so I can think.
00:58:46Hazel Flagg's a fraud, eh?
00:58:48Tag him!
00:58:50So when you start yelling foul, remember she was just a circulation stunt for you.
00:58:53You used her like you've used every broken heart that's fallen into your knapsack.
00:58:56To inflame the Daffy public and help sell your papers.
00:58:59That's her up about selling papers.
00:59:03Oh, come on.
00:59:05Don't ask me.
00:59:12Before I finish with that female Dracula, she'll know one thing.
00:59:15That Oliver Stone is worse than radium poisoning four ways from the jack.
00:59:23Hello? Hello?
00:59:25Who? Moe?
00:59:27Moe who?
00:59:29Who's Moe Levinsky?
00:59:31That's my brother.
00:59:33You sent him over to get that girl, remember?
00:59:35Oh, Moe, listen.
00:59:37What? What's that?
00:59:39Well, what are you stalling for?
00:59:41Get her back here to the office as I ordered.
00:59:43Get the mush out of your mouth, man, and speak up.
00:59:46He's a dumb cluck, Mr. Stone.
00:59:48You better let me talk to him.
00:59:50You'll just get him excited, then he's gone.
00:59:53Hello, Moe?
00:59:55This is Max.
00:59:57What's on your mind?
00:59:59Uh-huh.
01:00:01Uh-huh.
01:00:03That's a shame.
01:00:05What is it?
01:00:07I'm getting it.
01:00:09Go on, Moe, and take it easy.
01:00:11Uh-huh.
01:00:13You're dumb, sir.
01:00:15Look, Moe, hold her wire, will you?
01:00:18I'll take it up with Mr. Stone.
01:00:20Well?
01:00:22He wants to know where he can get a doctor.
01:00:24This girl is sick.
01:00:26Who's sick?
01:00:28This girl, Hazel Flagg.
01:00:30It's a lie.
01:00:32Listen, Max, ask him what she's sick with.
01:00:34He told me.
01:00:36He said it's something like the DTs.
01:00:38Only the dope can't pronounce it.
01:00:39Hello, Moe?
01:00:41This is Max.
01:00:43Your brother, Max.
01:00:45He's getting rattled.
01:00:47Now, don't fly off the handle, Moe.
01:00:49All I want to know is the noise there.
01:00:52No, not a noise.
01:00:54Noise like a tootsie.
01:00:56That's right.
01:00:58Uh-huh.
01:01:00Uh-huh.
01:01:02Give me that phone.
01:01:04I'm getting it.
01:01:06Give me that phone, I tell you!
01:01:08Mr. Efferty?
01:01:10Oliver Stone.
01:01:12Pneumonia?
01:01:14It's a lie, I tell you.
01:01:16Temperature of 106?
01:01:18Dying?
01:01:20Go back and take her temperature again.
01:01:22I don't trust that girl until I get a doctor.
01:01:24No, not Dr. Downer.
01:01:26Tell Moe to throw that Vermont quack out of the room
01:01:28the minute he shows his face.
01:01:30Get me Moe.
01:01:32Pneumonia?
01:01:34It's the finger of God, if it's true.
01:01:35I don't trust that girl until I get there.
01:01:37Dead or alive, nobody leaves that room.
01:01:39Get me?
01:01:41It's like a pardon from the gallows.
01:01:43But I'm pressing nobody this time.
01:01:45I'm taking no chances.
01:01:47Hello, hello, get me Dr. Emil Egelhofer of Vienna.
01:01:50Wherever he is.
01:01:52Well, try all the hotels.
01:01:54Listen, Oliver.
01:01:56I'm going over there.
01:01:58And if you try to stop me, so help me,
01:02:00I'll get you if it takes all my life.
01:02:02Nobody is going to stop you now.
01:02:04Yes, Dr. Emil Egelhofer of Vienna.
01:02:07Well, try the medical center.
01:02:10Try Schulz's Beer Garden.
01:02:18No, I don't want to see the mayor.
01:02:20Take the mayor away from me.
01:02:22I want Wallace.
01:02:24Wallace, where are you?
01:02:26Cut out the shenanigans, will you?
01:02:28We haven't got any time to lose.
01:02:30Wally, Wally, I'm on fire.
01:02:31Shut up for a minute and listen to me.
01:02:33Egelhofer is going to be here in 10 or 15 minutes.
01:02:35Egelhofer.
01:02:37Dr. Emil Egelhofer of Vienna.
01:02:41I knew you were faking the matter.
01:02:43Wally, they were going to arrest me.
01:02:45I couldn't get away.
01:02:47You know, I put the thermometer under the hot water and threw a fit.
01:02:49Oh, Wally, you'd hate me.
01:02:51I knew you'd hate me.
01:02:53I told you, I told you.
01:02:55Let's not go into that now.
01:02:57Oh, Egelhofer, you'll expose me again.
01:02:59There's four of them.
01:03:01Shut up. Where's the hot water?
01:03:03In bed.
01:03:05As if I didn't know.
01:03:07Have you got two thermometers?
01:03:09Three, I've got three.
01:03:11Go on up.
01:03:13You'll never forgive me for what I've done to you.
01:03:15Wally, I want to die on it.
01:03:17I don't want to live another minute.
01:03:19It's been a lot of fun playing me for the world's prize, chump.
01:03:21Where's the other thermometer?
01:03:23Wallace Cook, king of the boobs.
01:03:25The only genuine horse's neck on the market.
01:03:27I didn't mean it. Really, I didn't mean it.
01:03:29All right, shut up and listen to the greatest sucker in Christendom
01:03:31Egelhofer is coming.
01:03:33With his gang?
01:03:35What gang?
01:03:37Well, he's got a wagonload of scientists with him,
01:03:39with microscopes and a searchlight.
01:03:41Oh, I'm sunk, I give up.
01:03:43Get out of bed.
01:03:45No, no, let them arrest me and put me in prison.
01:03:47You won't hate me so much if I'm behind bars.
01:03:49Listen, my dying swan, this is no time to stop faking.
01:03:51You're going to have pneumonia and you're going to have it good.
01:03:53Well, you want me to stand in front of a window and catch cold?
01:03:55No, that would take too long.
01:03:57You've got to raise your pulse to 160, quick.
01:03:59You've got to have your gasping panting and covered
01:04:01with a cold sweat inside of five minutes.
01:04:03How?
01:04:05Fight, fight.
01:04:07Come on, come on Delilah, up with your juice.
01:04:09No, I can't, I'm sick of faking and lying.
01:04:12Take that ice pack off your head and fight.
01:04:14No, no, what's the use?
01:04:16Why fool them any longer?
01:04:18Because I love you.
01:04:21Because I'm going to marry you.
01:04:23And I don't want to spend my honeymoon hanging around
01:04:25sing-sing blowing kisses to you in the exercise yard.
01:04:27Come on, stop dogging me.
01:04:29You've got to be bathed in perspiration.
01:04:31Come on, get going, you little crook.
01:04:33Who's a crook?
01:04:35You and your crooked newspaper.
01:04:37Baby, come on, keep moving, snake brains.
01:04:39Come on, I'll kill you.
01:04:41Begging at me like I ran like I was a prize pig
01:04:44with a blue ribbon on.
01:04:46Oh, blue ribbons on you, baby.
01:04:48Just a big yellow sign marked fake.
01:04:50Huh? I'm a fake, huh?
01:04:52I'm a fake.
01:04:54What are you and that phony Santy Claus Oliver Stone
01:04:56slobbering and drooling all over me?
01:04:57I'm a woman of history.
01:04:59And that's for your Aunt Mary.
01:05:01Come on, keep moving, my little fraud.
01:05:03I'll never forgive you as long as I live.
01:05:05I won't, I just hate you, I just hate you.
01:05:07Let go of me.
01:05:09Let go of me.
01:05:12Oh, I hate you.
01:05:16You're going to have plenty of reason to hate me.
01:05:18I'm going to show you cards and spades
01:05:20and lying for the next 50 years.
01:05:22I'm going to pay you back for every lie you told.
01:05:24I'm going to flirt and lie and cheat and swindle
01:05:25and I'm going to make you pay for everything.
01:05:27Yeah, yeah, let me hit you just once.
01:05:29All right, come on.
01:05:31That's it, come on, keep coming.
01:05:33Faster, faster, come on, keep coming.
01:05:35Faster, faster, that's it, keep swinging.
01:05:37That's the girl, that's it.
01:05:39What's the matter? Come on.
01:05:41Oh, I'm getting dizzy.
01:05:43Well, that's fine, that's fine.
01:05:45Now listen to me and listen carefully.
01:05:47When you come to, I want you to remember what I'm saying.
01:05:49What do you mean, come to?
01:05:51I mean when you regain consciousness.
01:05:53I want you to switch thermometers.
01:05:55Just once, just once on the jaw
01:05:57and I don't care what happens.
01:05:59All right, come on, come on.
01:06:01I just heard the elevator door, they're coming.
01:06:03Don't forget about the thermometer.
01:06:05Yeah, yeah.
01:06:07Say goodnight to Papa now.
01:06:09Well, what are you going to do?
01:06:25Well, what are you going to do?
01:06:44You put up a nice fight, Wally.
01:06:50You mean to say you saw the whole thing?
01:06:52From the beginning, Mr. Cook.
01:06:53You mean to say you stood there and let me beat up a defenseless woman?
01:06:55I did, Mr. Cooke.
01:06:57Where's your sense of chivalry?
01:06:58My chivalry?
01:06:59Aren't you just a trifle confused, Mr. Cooke?
01:07:01You hit her.
01:07:02That's entirely different.
01:07:04I love her.
01:07:18Water.
01:07:20Water.
01:07:21I'm fine. I'm fine.
01:07:24You can cool off now, Hazel.
01:07:26The jig is up.
01:07:28What?
01:07:30The jig is up.
01:07:32You mean to say that whole thing was for nothing?
01:07:36I'm sorry.
01:07:36You thought you could put one over on Oliver Stone, eh?
01:07:38Well, I guess I still know a fake one.
01:07:40You keep out of this.
01:07:43Wally.
01:07:44Yes, dear?
01:07:52Oh, Wally.
01:07:54Wally, I didn't mean to do it.
01:07:55I didn't mean to do it.
01:07:56I love you.
01:07:57I love you.
01:08:02Miss Flagg, I wonder if you are aware of the traditions of a great newspaper.
01:08:07Do you realize what it means to those who carry aloft the torch of journalism?
01:08:11From the highest editor to the lowest office boy,
01:08:14the lifeblood of a newspaper, Miss Flagg, is its integrity.
01:08:18Am I right, Wally?
01:08:19Word for word.
01:08:21I wrote that speech for you 10 years ago at the Cleveland Convention.
01:08:26You remember?
01:08:27You can both talk all you want.
01:08:28I've made up my mind.
01:08:30You're what?
01:08:31I'm through.
01:08:32What do you mean you're through?
01:08:33I'm going to confess.
01:08:34I'm going back to Walther.
01:08:35They love me there.
01:08:36They don't hit me on the jaw and push me in rivers.
01:08:39But you can't confess.
01:08:40Do you realize that out there are some of the most important citizens of this town?
01:08:44All of those people are out there by special invitation from the Morning Star.
01:08:47And why?
01:08:49To pass on to the people of New York,
01:08:51to the people of the world,
01:08:53your last words.
01:08:55For instance?
01:08:56Now, this is no time for sarcasm, Wally.
01:08:58You got me into this, you get me out.
01:09:00Use your brain.
01:09:01Mine's stunned.
01:09:03Where's Dr. Downer?
01:09:05Where's that weasel-hearted medical?
01:09:07He's been on a toot.
01:09:08We could use him.
01:09:09We could throw him to the wolves.
01:09:12Just when we need him, he isn't here.
01:09:16I got an idea.
01:09:17We can bury her.
01:09:19Like they do in India.
01:09:20You know, like the yogis.
01:09:22We can stick a tube down for her to breathe through,
01:09:25and dig her up in the morning with no harm done.
01:09:29You do it!
01:09:31Wally, stop her!
01:09:32Stop her!
01:09:33I'm a...
01:09:34Stop her!
01:09:34I'm a...
01:09:35I'm a...
01:09:35I'm a...
01:09:36I'm a...
01:09:36I'm a fool here.
01:09:37I'm a fake.
01:09:37I'm a fool here.
01:09:38I'm not going to die.
01:09:38I was never going to die.
01:09:39I never had radium poisoning.
01:09:41I never had anything.
01:09:42I wanted a trip to New York and I got it.
01:09:44And what's more, you and New York can go...
01:09:46Fine!
01:09:47Mr. Stone, is this true?
01:09:51Yes.
01:09:54Well, this is terrible.
01:09:55Terrible.
01:09:56I endorsed this thing.
01:09:57I sponsored this girl.
01:09:59I gave her the key to the city.
01:10:00And just as an election was coming up...
01:10:06Here's your key.
01:10:07I won't be needing it anymore.
01:10:09Miss Flagg, I represent 100,000 young matrons.
01:10:13We've switched the whole study course
01:10:15from the menace of communism to the inspiration of Hazel Flagg.
01:10:18Miss Flagg, the Girlfriends of the Forest have just organized a Hazel Flagg unit with me as chief ranger.
01:10:25Already we have 4,000 members.
01:10:27If you persist in flaunting your recovery in this flagrant manner,
01:10:31the trees of America will be without girlfriends.
01:10:37Ladies and gentlemen,
01:10:41the Morning Star keeps faith with its readers.
01:10:45This thing must not get out.
01:10:48Oh, let me alone.
01:10:49I wish I really could die.
01:10:50Go someplace by myself and die alone, like an elephant!
01:11:41Happy, Mr. Cook.
01:12:01Ecstatic, Mrs. Cook.
01:12:15I know what you're going to say.
01:12:15You think I'm Hazel Flagg.
01:12:18Well, I'm getting sick and tired of people mistaking me for that fake.
01:12:21Fake?
01:12:22Young woman, how dare you speak of Hazel Flagg as a fake?
01:12:25How dare you slay the memory of one of the most gallant girls that ever lived?
01:12:31Despite you and your kind, the world will never forget Hazel Flagg.
01:12:36That's what I'm afraid of.
01:12:39Don't worry, baby.
01:12:40Two months from now, they won't know who Hazel Flagg was.
01:12:43They'll find another elephant.
01:12:44Darling, you're forgetting that everybody in New York knew me and loved me.
01:12:47Loved me for my courage, my brave smile and the face of...
01:12:50Well, after all, I was a pretty important person.
01:12:52Just a flash in the pan of Manhattan.
01:12:56They were beginning to get pretty impatient at the way you were dragging this thing out.
01:12:59That's a lie and you know it.
01:13:00You're right. Now millions of people are crying just thinking about me.
01:13:03Why don't you get wise to yourself, Hazel?
01:13:05You were just another freak like the bearded lady, Jojo the dog-faced...
01:13:08Take that back off!
01:13:11Hazel! Hazel!
01:13:13Yes, Enoch! What is it?
01:13:16Hazel!
01:13:19Hazel!
01:13:23Run for your life!
01:13:24Run for your life!
01:13:26The hotel is flooded!
01:13:28Flooded!