Joey ( Bill Petrson ), an adventurer returns home and discovers that his wife, Christine ( Sissy Spacek ) is planning to remarry. Determined to save his marriage and resolve the issues, will Joey be able to convince Christine?
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00You
00:00:31I'm telling you guys the truth
00:00:37On that beach that day
00:00:41This beautiful Tahitian girl walked up to me wearing
00:00:46nothing
00:00:47dark brown skin
00:00:49her breasts were
00:00:53This girl was completely naked
00:00:56She walked up to me. She looked me right in the eyes
00:01:00I smiled
00:01:03She hesitated for just a split second
00:01:07And she looked down at the sand
00:01:10And walked away
00:01:13Her breasts silhouetted against the golden Sun
00:01:19Yeah, and
00:01:22And that was it
00:01:25What are you telling us all this and you didn't nail her I
00:01:29Didn't have to
00:01:31It was a perfect moment
00:01:34Perfect moment Jesus son. There's a better way of dealing with naked women besides watching them walk off into the sunset
00:01:42I
00:01:52Got one for you
00:01:55That's yours you got to
00:01:59Thank you and Joey there's yours. Hmm. Looks like some young lady's been real determined to find you
00:02:13I'm getting married Joey
00:02:18Yeah my wife
00:02:42I
00:03:00Don't sound right
00:03:02I
00:03:04I
00:03:30You can change your number change
00:03:34I
00:04:04I
00:04:34I
00:05:04Oh
00:05:34Oh
00:05:58Reggie
00:06:04Paul Bunyan's back
00:06:07Hey, we're going too long this time Jim. Yo, you look good though Joey. I gotta show you something
00:06:13Okay, I gotta show you now. Remember the auto show right?
00:06:171970 remember the car pinky pinky. Hey, I was
00:06:21Joey I wanted to come over. I was thinking of coming over, you know, me and you wasted on an island
00:06:26Look at this. I got promoted
00:06:28That's great. Listen, I want you to tell me what's going on around here
00:06:32Joey listen
00:06:34You didn't see my new monster
00:06:37Then they look dazed. Thanks Tommy. I call him pinky jr. The third
00:06:42Congratulations. I want you to tell me how my wife can be getting married tomorrow. I
00:06:46Mean, it's a joke, right?
00:06:48Walter Humphrey, what was he getting the stamp collecting team?
00:06:53We have a Joey. I don't think it's a joke man. She can't marry somebody else. I
00:06:59Know she divorced you
00:07:02She can't do that Joey she did
00:07:06All right, look I gotta go find her I'll see you later, okay, okay, Joey meet me at the bar tonight, okay
00:07:12I bring the car
00:07:31I
00:08:01I
00:08:31I
00:08:54Mean that's a great shirt. Listen, you got a car I can borrow my mom's Volvo here
00:08:58All right. I need you to fix the starter in my Buick. Can you do that today? Yeah, I'll give it a try
00:09:02Excellent keys in the car. I tell your mom. Thanks
00:09:06And I'll bring it back later
00:09:09Here keep the shirt. Hey, thanks, man. You know, I'm going to Hawaii as soon as I get out of high school
00:09:15Yeah, good for you. Are you growing a mustache? Yeah kind of jumps out there at you doesn't
00:09:28I
00:09:58Love you
00:10:12Joey Colton mrs
00:10:14Bell my favorite little boy
00:10:17You spent more time in my office than any other little boy
00:10:20Didn't you dear and I so enjoy the cultural samples that you send for Beth to share with us
00:10:26my personal favorite
00:10:28Boy
00:10:31Sorry
00:10:33My personal favorite is the coconut breastplates from Hawaii like armor good for the older girls. It's a difficult age
00:10:41Chris I'm sorry. I have to find Christmas spell
00:10:47Phillip have you seen Christy? Yes, ma'am. Try the gym
00:10:50Where's the happy for Christy?
00:10:52She just had some nervous a year and that Walter River calm turned down Walter is such a well-mannered boy
00:10:57I'd love to chat mrs. Bell, but I really gotta go
00:11:14Moon go stand behind windy good dog
00:11:27Oh
00:11:50I'm back. Miss Bowman is in charge
00:11:58Hang in there Peter. Hi, mrs. Coulter. Good morning
00:12:17You guys quit the horseplay we're going to play a game
00:12:28Thank you
00:12:50Look at you. What are you growing inch a month break? I don't know you you're too tall and beautiful for me to know
00:12:57You were gone too long this time
00:13:02Look I gotta go catch mom and talk to her. I'll see you after school. Okay. Can I go with you?
00:13:06I hate school not now. It's real important. I talk to your mom. Okay. I love you
00:13:12I'll see you later. Go play soccer
00:13:16Dad
00:13:27Oh
00:13:52Don come over quick he's back
00:13:57Oh God
00:14:06Hurry
00:14:11Christy
00:14:13This is not a good time. Come on. Open the door. Could you come back later?
00:14:20Why'd you want me to come home if you don't want to see me post that I wanted you to come home
00:14:24Why'd you send me a wedding invitation if you didn't want me to come home?
00:14:28Chris come on. Open the door. This is my house, too. Remember?
00:14:38Christy
00:14:47Damn go away. Did you cut your hair?
00:14:57Yeah
00:15:00Like it looks great
00:15:05Come on baby, let me and we'll just talk
00:15:08No, you staying out there and I'm staying in here Chris. I promise I
00:15:14Won't even touch your hand. I
00:15:17Won't even touch your arm. I won't even touch your neck Joey. Shut up my lips
00:15:23Will not go up and down your spine
00:15:26And I promise not to lick you but Joey
00:15:29Shut up. Oh, come on, Chris. Give me a break
00:15:32Joey Coulter get down from there this very minute Don. I'm here, honey, Joey. I swear to God. I'll call the sheriff
00:15:38That's nice to see you too, Don
00:15:40Chris
00:15:43I'm gonna bust this window in don't you dare bust that window? It's a brand-new thermopane. We paid a hundred ten dollars for it
00:15:51A
00:15:52Hundred and ten dollars. Well, then windows ain't cheap Joey
00:15:55I waited six weeks for it and you will not break the window
00:15:59Yeah, take you ten weeks to get a new one back orders up the wazoo at Thompson's
00:16:04I'm counting to five. Oh, come on one. It's gotta be a cold winter
00:16:08Joey, oh, don't you dare break that window Joey three? I wouldn't joy for
00:16:16Okay, okay, I'm not gonna break the goddamn window you hear that mr.
00:16:21Benson, I'm not gonna break the window good. I'm gonna bring over some home-baked cookies. Stay right where you are
00:16:29Chris honey, come on. We've got to talk no
00:16:34I'm finally doing one smart thing in my life and you are not gonna talk me out of it Chris. What are you doing?
00:16:40No, Chris, don't turn on the shower
00:16:52Honey, what are you doing back from school? Did you get my letter? What letter mom's wedding invitation? Did you get it?
00:17:02Yeah, I got it
00:17:04This new bike you bought me
00:17:07It's nice. I like red take me for a bike ride
00:17:13Not now this is not a good time. Okay, dad. You promised as soon as you came home
00:17:17You take me for a bike ride you promised
00:17:20Okay
00:17:31Talk to me Dawn just say something nice you need a haircut. Thanks and stay away from pinky, please
00:17:38We're going for a bike ride
00:17:44Cookies Thanks miss
00:17:50Chris it's gone
00:17:54Where's he
00:17:56Look this is it. Okay, and you have to fight it. Just fight it. Yeah, don't let up. Don't let him anywhere near you
00:18:03Where is he? He's outside riding a bicycle with Beth with Beth
00:18:07She's supposed to be at school. You're supposed to be at school. I
00:18:11Want to kill myself? Well, you can't
00:18:15wedding tomorrow
00:18:16Dead is not sexy on a wedding night
00:18:20I need a cigarette. Don't let him start you smoking again. Bring me a beer
00:18:29You know, he's skinnier I
00:18:32Never noticed his butt before you're supposed to be helping me dawn. Sorry
00:18:43They just laid my paper mache map of the United States at school and I put stars in all the places you've been
00:18:49Have to come see it
00:18:52What?
00:18:57Hey, don't we know I have a baby all I want is a family
00:19:04Yeah, well you remember that where are my goddamn cigarettes
00:19:10Talk to her
00:19:18Joey Coulter is not gonna make me feel guilty. Don't you dare feel guilty? Don't let him near you
00:19:25My god, what does he expect?
00:19:27Twelve and a half years twelve and a half years. Merry Christmas, honey. I'm going to Florida to build a boat
00:19:35Happy Easter. I'll call you from Arizona
00:19:38He's home after six weeks with rattlesnake bells pinky. Where's his you know, I figured it out
00:19:44Twelve and a half years is exactly four thousand five hundred and sixty two days
00:19:49He was home
00:19:51One thousand one hundred and thirty seven of those days, you know, I didn't get married to be alone three thousand four hundred and twenty-five days. Oh
00:19:59My god, what Walt?
00:20:03He'll kill Walt
00:20:05Or at least hurt him very badly
00:20:09Walter Humphrey is the best thing that ever happened to you. And don't you ever forget that?
00:20:20Life's beautiful, isn't it?
00:20:29Are you gonna let mom marry Walt I don't want you to worry about it, okay
00:20:36But are you
00:20:39Would I ever let you down?
00:20:45He didn't get to see me in my play I
00:20:47Bet you were great. I
00:20:49Kind of blew one of my lines
00:20:51Yeah, but nobody noticed right? Yeah, I want to bet
00:20:55Where are you gonna sleep tonight? I don't know wherever I am. I'll be dreaming of you
00:21:04You better go back to school before your mom gets any madder than she already is
00:21:09See you later, okay
00:21:12Beth you hear me dad back mom. So I see
00:21:18I'm gonna go to bed. I'm gonna go to bed. I'm gonna go to bed
00:21:21Dad back mom, so I see
00:21:33Go away Joey, I am NOT leaving until I get to talk to you
00:21:38Alone, why you never listen to me? Anyway, you mean I never listen to you
00:21:42I asked you to do something for me and you just go ahead and do whatever you want
00:21:45You never think about how I feel or what I want
00:21:49God damn it. Joy. Why can't you ever do what I asked you to do?
00:21:52Yeah, we do us all a favor. Okay, go home dawn
00:21:54I want dawn here and I am here which is more than I can say for you most of the time
00:22:02What does he want me to do don't talk to Stewie Haggart, oh, he's a turd. Well, he's my lawyer
00:22:08Well, why do I want to talk to some blood-sucking lawyer? Do he is not blood-sucking?
00:22:12No, he tied his sister buck naked to a lawnmower and sold tickets to watch him mow the lawn
00:22:17Yeah, and you bought one. What do you expect? I was 12
00:22:20Look, you want me to talk to Stewie Haggart if Stewie has something to say that has to do with you and me then you
00:22:25And me are gonna go see him together
00:22:28You and me and dawn. No dawns not coming. Well, don't come in. I'm not Chris wants me to come I'm gonna come
00:22:35Oh, well fine. Why don't we have mrs. Benson join us? I'm not coming. That's mr. Benson comes. I can do that
00:22:41Great there anybody else on the block that would like to come I mean we could turn this into a field trip
00:22:53Cookies
00:23:11I
00:23:27Follow I understand mr. Gunnarsson, but in fact, correct me if I'm wrong it isn't cow manure good for roses
00:23:35Yeah, I realized that it wasn't your cow but to sue your neighbor for essentially providing you with free fertilizer
00:23:41I do not think that you've got a very strong case here
00:23:45Says I'm supposed to talk to you. Yeah, I'm gonna have to get back with you and mr. Gunnarsson
00:23:50Could you call me Stewart? All right. Bye. Bye
00:23:53This is totally unprofessional get off
00:23:56It's Stewie Stewart in my office in a lawyer's office when that door is closed. What is it?
00:24:01Guess what? It's closed for a reason. This is a room of confidentiality here. Okay, this is sacred. I said
00:24:10Stewart
00:24:14Show Joey the divorce papers Stewart
00:24:17I
00:24:27Let's all just here
00:24:29Maybe just Joey you wanna sit down. No, I don't want to sit down all my clients sit down really guess what?
00:24:34I'm not your client
00:24:36This is how it works, you know legal stuff. You do have an idea what legal stuff is right? God. You're bugging me Don
00:24:41You're bugging. Oh, I'm bugging you. I like that. Do you ever think that you bug anyone? Okay, that's it. You're out of here
00:24:47Ah, this is none of your business. So get your butt out of here. Who are these people? I am yelling in front of these are
00:24:53my neighbors
00:24:55cookies
00:24:56Just show Joey the divorce papers to it hurt
00:25:03The terms of the divorce you do
00:25:08What these mean is it you joy you no longer have spousal rights
00:25:12You cannot bust into my classroom or bust into my house. Wait a minute. Wait a minute our house
00:25:21No
00:25:22The marital property settlement awarded Christine the house the 1979 Honda five $100 savings bonds
00:25:29You retain the land at the creek the rowboat the 15 horsepower motor the remaining eight $100 savings bonds the 1969
00:25:36Buick shut up story Stuart
00:25:43I
00:25:47Chris filed for divorce under state law. We then attempted to locate you
00:25:52We published her intentions in the newspapers for four consecutive weeks. We received zero response
00:25:58She waits waits the mandatory separation period at which point the court enters an order granting the divorce
00:26:05So there that's it. Bonito. The marriage is over
00:26:10So
00:26:25You're really pissed
00:26:28Why why
00:26:33Why I'll tell you why
00:26:36Beth had the flu. I had a toothache the snake. There was a snake in the house
00:26:41The car died. It was cold. It rained and the gutters broke and I had to sleep with socks on that's why
00:26:47Okay. Okay. I guess I stayed away too long. I guess but I was making good money. I sent you all the checks
00:26:53I was even thinking of bringing you and Beth out there. I teach school here. We're here there. What's the difference?
00:26:58They're never last. There's always another there Beth and I'd be there and you'd be out someplace else. That's why I came home
00:27:03Joey I didn't do this because you stayed away longer than usual. I
00:27:15Won't do it again. Okay. I promise I
00:27:25Made up my mind
00:27:28I made up my mind
00:27:34No, you haven't
00:27:52I love you
00:27:58And that's why I can't let you marry Walter
00:28:21Can't
00:28:27I
00:28:40Get Trudy Joey, it's been a while. Yeah, I know
00:28:44Listen, you got any of those cupcakes that Chris likes you mean the strawberry with the coconut right there?
00:28:48They are that's it. I need a whole box of those delivered in my house
00:28:51Can you do that for me sure thing and I think it's gonna take more than a few cupcakes this time Joey
00:28:57I
00:29:28I feel better
00:29:35Guess Joey's back
00:29:44Let's move it happy people places it wears flower girl
00:29:57Hey, hey, I'm gonna be your cousin you want a hot dog
00:30:05Have you bit into and slobbered all over it
00:30:11Just on this half you can have this half
00:30:21What are you doing
00:30:24Waiting for my dad
00:30:27I
00:30:33Love you, I
00:30:36Really love you
00:30:39Well, the only thing I've ever been interested in is taxidermy
00:30:46This arcana chicken is an example of my best work I
00:30:54Want you to have it
00:30:58I
00:30:59Shall I leave Chris alone? We have to all go get in our places. I wasn't doing anything. We were just talking right right talking about life
00:31:19The minister wants to see you
00:31:21Thank You Stuart
00:31:24Shelly uses large amounts of formaldehyde and we wonder about its effects
00:31:29I have to go get things organized, but I hope your ex-husband won't be a problem
00:31:36Joey knows it's over between
00:31:39We can only hope
00:31:45Looks like the first boy that ever kissed me
00:31:48Oh
00:31:51William Tucker
00:31:53Go wash your hands and get into place
00:31:56You don't let Joey called her within 10 feet of you. Do you understand me? He's just like your father
00:32:02The charm the pants off you one minute and have you cooling in the breeze the next you don't want to end up like me
00:32:09Hey, hey, hey, hey, aren't you talking to me anymore?
00:32:15My dad came home
00:32:17I don't know if I can be friends with both of you
00:32:23It's okay with me if it's okay with him
00:32:39In the middle of a nightmare, what do you mean you and me drinking here?
00:32:43Chris I'm talking about Chris. Oh, yeah. Yeah
00:32:47What are you gonna do?
00:32:49It's not gonna happen
00:32:50She's having a nightmare
00:32:53You feel it. Yeah, then you're not having a nightmare
00:33:00I'm not gonna let this happen. I gotta find her again
00:33:03Joey
00:33:05She's the wedding ruse with Dawn
00:33:10So, let's go
00:33:13Okay
00:33:14We'll take my car
00:33:16You ready for this? You're gonna wet your pants
00:33:26Put your hand with nail polish custom pink great. I'll drive you guys drive
00:33:34You'll be very careful
00:33:47Oh
00:33:52Tell me how it's gonna be again
00:33:55Well, it's gonna be wonderful. You can do a wonderful wife and and and we'll have kids
00:34:02And and we'll build a house
00:34:06You'll teach I'll have the dealership and who knows what else
00:34:11Do you want something else?
00:34:17Little cart in the backyard in the summer. We'll plant seeds
00:34:27Every day we'll go out check on them. We'll watch grow
00:34:35Every day we'll watch him together
00:34:42Can we watch it together every day
00:34:47I'm gonna be there for you
00:35:08Walt when you hear the music that's when you and Stuart come out here and stand to the left of me
00:35:14That's your cue Christine
00:35:16Oh
00:35:31Dad
00:35:34Everybody
00:35:40Joey was driving. I just came along for the ride. May we help you Joey? I'll take care of it
00:35:46No, hello Maybel pretty dress you look great. Thanks for noticing, but don't think that means I'm on your side
00:35:54side
00:35:56Who's taking sides? Are we taking sides here? I'm not taking sides Joey. Can I help you with something? I don't know Walt. Can you?
00:36:03Kenny Chris
00:36:06Joey we're right in the middle of something here. I know that Walt
00:36:13Jesus a chair
00:36:16Scary Walt awful scary Walt
00:36:19Guys, this is just a little childish. I don't know Walt pick the game
00:36:24Joey just leave right now and we'll forget about it. I guess I got about a hundred chairs to go, honey
00:36:46I
00:36:48Guys are quick
00:36:51Damn it, Joey. You don't come and take what you want anymore. Other people have a say in this, too
00:36:55I just wanted to know if Chris has something she wants to say Chris. Do you have anything you want to say?
00:37:01Hmm
00:37:03Tell these people you got to think about this
00:37:09Chris
00:37:16Oh my god mom you are gonna leave her alone
00:37:46Oh
00:38:16Oh
00:38:28Good damn it
00:38:31Hey, hey folks. How about everybody just stay out of this leave them alone
00:38:36Or does somebody want cow pie for dessert you get that on me? You'll eat dog food for a month. Hey Don
00:38:43Okay, fine, I won't throw cow shit at my wife the rest of you stay where you are
00:38:49Go away. I mean you mrs. Humphrey
00:38:54Chris
00:38:57You don't own her Joey she's made up her mind and you got a respect there I don't have to respect anything
00:39:02Oh, Jesus, you hear what you just said love and respect aren't the same thing Walt and I'm not leaving till I talk to my wife
00:39:08She's my family Chris and Beth are my family. Okay, and you're not whoring it in
00:39:27Yeah, we discussed that I personally feel that you must live to watch me kill pinky
00:39:39Cuz you got it out of your system and you're gonna be fine
00:39:43Watch where you're stepping
00:39:46Yeah, God help us
00:39:49Cow shit bone metal you got to watch where you're going. Okay. Now I want you to take deep breaths
00:39:58Cuz you're gonna be just fine you just need to walk breathe
00:40:03Now listen me showing up is bound to made Chris think about a few things right now
00:40:09Maybe she's changed her mind and she's too afraid to tell you about it. Huh? I
00:40:14Mean are you two chicken shit to find out?
00:40:17You're gonna be fine. Oh here they come. It's okay. Do you have a man on you? No, why are you gonna throw up again? Oh
00:40:27Here here grass cows have great breath eat that don't let me see and just breathe and eat
00:40:38That
00:40:47What
00:40:51You have a little piece of grass there on your mouth
00:40:56Could I have a moment alone with Chris that's up to you Chris
00:41:14Okay
00:41:26This isn't exactly alone, huh?
00:41:31Come on Chris, give me a break
00:41:34Well, I guess you don't know. No, this is fine. This is just fine. This is fine. I like this place. It's a great place. I
00:41:41Want to marry Walt
00:41:43No, you don't
00:41:45Did you ever ever think about what I was doing when you were off on one of your adventures?
00:41:50You were teaching taking care of Beth doing what you want, but I was a liar
00:41:53Well, I could have sent for you. I don't want to clean out barns so I can live on a dude ranch
00:41:59I don't want to cook dinner for 20 guys with B.o. So I can experience Alaska
00:42:02I don't want to be a chambermaid in Bali so I can hang out on the beach. I don't want that life
00:42:07So you have this life? We both love each other. We both have the lives that we want. What's wrong with that? I
00:42:16Know you screwed around it hurts me
00:42:19You don't need me I
00:42:22Needed you I put things off so I can do them with you
00:42:25You made everything more fun. You made everything special
00:42:29But you don't need me to feel special honey. I do too
00:42:34God
00:42:38You know what we got to do
00:42:40We got to build the cabin. I was thinking about this
00:42:42You know, I I could get the outside walls up insulate it do it
00:42:46I could get the outside walls up insulate it do all the finishing touches in November. We could be in there by Christmas
00:42:52Look, I know this is something that we talked about we were gonna do for like 10 years, but face it you couldn't stay home
00:42:57We couldn't afford it at first and I wanted to do it, right?
00:43:01So I didn't push to get it done because I wanted it done, right? But you know, hey we could
00:43:06Get one of those
00:43:08Home equity loans and I could do most of the work myself
00:43:11I'm Marianne Walt. No. Yes. No Chris Joey. You don't want to take my home away from me
00:43:19You're my home
00:43:21You're my home
00:43:23You're my home
00:43:26You used our home like a motel
00:43:28You don't love me anymore
00:43:58You
00:44:10What is going on around here what the hell happened to everybody? Okay. Okay. I'm leaving I'm leaving
00:44:28Go you always make him go away
00:44:59I
00:45:12Don't understand what's happening here
00:45:19Except you know
00:45:23You know women they think they can change things make things better they always think things can be better
00:45:29Man, you know, they never let up
00:45:32Wait, I never know what we know things are the way they are
00:45:37Like my car needs a hose down cuz it's covered in cow pie
00:45:44Joey will you look at my car Jesus you see Dawn's face man
00:45:56I'm gonna be sleeping on the porch tonight
00:45:59I
00:46:15Promise after we're married to quit getting in so many fights. Oh
00:46:19I know what you're thinking. You're thinking wall. You're an animal. You're never gonna change, but I'll settle down. You'll see
00:46:25Have fun at your party
00:46:27You animal
00:46:46So
00:46:50I'm free
00:46:53I
00:46:58Never have to call home
00:47:00Never have to go home
00:47:02Just go
00:47:05Anywhere anytime
00:47:10Hey, I'm not calling home I'm not coming home. Oh
00:47:14What a life of course, I still got Beth
00:47:17Yeah, but kids not like a wife. Yeah, then Walt take care of her
00:47:22I've seen them together in town. They get along real good
00:47:28Great
00:47:30So
00:47:33I'm free
00:47:36You're free
00:47:39This guy one time wanted me to work a steamer all the way to Singapore
00:47:43That's where the Australia. No China. Of course. I couldn't do it cuz it was like Chris's birthday or something
00:47:50Huh, I'm going with you man one of these times, okay, you know that that's great
00:47:55You never know what's around the corner pinky. It's all up for grabs and you grab for it
00:47:59If you want it, you don't have a lot
00:48:02But you don't have a lot to worry about
00:48:04just
00:48:06What you want to do tomorrow?
00:48:10Now you're lucky
00:48:14Yeah
00:48:20Hmm maybe guy like me doesn't need a home. Yeah world's your home
00:48:33Shit
00:48:42Hey, I guess it's when I scratch my armpits when I barbecue
00:48:50And your wife said
00:49:04Really intelligent well-bred now, we lost the trip because of you. Thanks a lot. I can't go on a trip with
00:49:20A
00:49:23Guy
00:49:30Beth honey, please. Let me in. I want to talk to you. I
00:49:40Love you and Walt loves you and your daddy loves you
00:49:46Everybody loves you, sweetie
00:49:49Beth Beth do not turn that shower on
00:50:00Shower this is not your house and you are wasting water
00:50:10Beth honey, please. Let me in
00:50:18Oh
00:50:48I
00:50:52Been asked
00:50:54Tonight on behalf of one Walter Humphrey. Well, all I can say to you is tall order
00:51:01How can I sum this man up? Is he indeed a man or is he admit? Is he hero or is he human?
00:51:08Kind of a god or just some guy
00:51:14Tonight we bid goodbye to one Walter Humphrey
00:51:18I'm Walt the playboy
00:51:20the man about town
00:51:22Dashing debonair. I think you misspelled debonair
00:51:28Walt the husband the homemaker deeply devoted and I would suggest slightly boring
00:51:38Drive and continue giving me discounts at your store
00:51:47I
00:51:56Guys are really great
00:52:11Got a question for you. Hmm. How come you never told me what was going on around here?
00:52:17I
00:52:19Mean how come I found out about this when it was too late for me to do anything
00:52:24Man, I didn't know where you were. You could have found me
00:52:28Sure, you send me postcards from places. You're leaving had a great time here, but I'll write you from the next stop
00:52:33How am I supposed to find you?
00:52:36You didn't try real hard did you
00:52:38Yes, I tried I
00:52:40Talked to Chris. I'm your best buddy, man. I stood up for you. Give me a little credit
00:52:44You know, you don't even say a good deal man about my new promotion my new kid my new car
00:52:49What do you think? Nothing? I do is worth nothing. This is important to me pinky. This is my family. It's my marriage
00:52:54I know but goddammit what I do is important to me
00:53:01You think what I do doesn't take any guts so you got all the guts I
00:53:06Got promoted Jesus that takes guts. You ever say to me good work, buddy. You got promoted. No
00:53:12Cuz you never worked anywhere long enough to get promoted in your life, where's the guts in that Joey?
00:53:16Huh? Where's the guts and letting some dog here marry your wife?
00:53:32Hey, that's my car I
00:53:37Said that's my car
00:53:41I
00:53:57Am a terrible mother kids don't know what's best for them. What if it's a mistake? I
00:54:06Just don't want her to grow up like I did with no father
00:54:09She loves joy so much
00:54:16Multi meal box
00:54:22Beth honey
00:54:26Honey you want some malted milk balls
00:54:29Dawn's got some you want us to get you some altered milk balls, honey
00:54:35They always make me feel better I'm gonna check the kitchen
00:54:38I
00:54:48Got three months just cuz Joey made me play in a bra for sure basketball
00:54:53I mean the principal said I planned it Joey
00:54:57Hey, no, what are you talking about? He is a dickhead. These are great
00:55:01They shove your butt up high drives the guys crazy once he walked right into the girls locker room. I was naked
00:55:08I mean, I knew he wanted me, but he pretended like he did but I knew he did
00:55:13Chris and Joey Joey and Chris give me a break Edna
00:55:18football captain head of cheerleaders
00:55:21Prom king and queen Edna you're stinking go home and sleep it off and maybe you should go on home
00:55:27You know, you two were like Romeo and Juliet and the rest of us were like Fred and Ethel
00:55:31What did love with Romeo get you? I
00:55:34got a beautiful daughter I
00:55:37Got to see most of North America
00:55:40Got to say yes to Michigan
00:55:43And I found out the Great American Highway really does belong to Buick. Where's your precious love now?
00:55:50Will somebody drive in the home, please?
00:56:01Yeah, I
00:56:03Got malted milk balls
00:56:17You look real pretty honey, why can't we go with daddy?
00:56:33I
00:56:44Got my keys you coming in? No, thanks
00:57:03Oh
00:57:20Relax relax. I'm not here to cause any trouble
00:57:25Walt I
00:57:27Want to apologize for hitting in the eye?
00:57:30And I'm sorry I screwed up your deal at the tent
00:57:35I've realized that this is the way things are gonna be and I want you to know that I think you're a good man
00:57:50What are you drinking beer
00:57:55You need tequila I
00:57:58Couldn't answer Beth
00:58:01It was a simple question, why couldn't I answer her?
00:58:10Honey you and Joey
00:58:13It's not real life
00:58:16Sure, you have romance two or three times a year when he shows up
00:58:22But how that gets you through the nights when it's gone, I don't know
00:58:28I
00:58:29Think he's not a movie star
00:58:31Never thought he was a movie star
00:58:33he barbecues on Sundays in the summer and he fries chicken on Sundays in the winter and every Sunday I get this feeling and
00:58:40My stomach is something's right with the world
00:58:45Rest of the week, I don't know but hey, he's my husband. I'm his wife
00:58:54Maybe you've always stayed Joey's girl
00:58:58Hmm. You're not a girl anymore
00:59:07It's like you have a wedding tomorrow
00:59:11Yeah
00:59:12We better clean up this mess. Oh
00:59:15Lord, what a mess I
00:59:18I
00:59:20Gotta tell you Joey. I never really
00:59:23Disliked that 44-yard quarterback sneak that you ran with 10 seconds left to beat five balls
00:59:30That was a great night
00:59:35For you man, Monica catch
00:59:40Wait a moment Kekic I never got anywhere
00:59:48That but I liked her
00:59:56You wild man
01:00:05Let her stay I'll bring her over in the morning, okay
01:00:17I
01:00:36Don't suppose you ever been to the Grand Teton
01:00:39Can't say that I have
01:00:41Great little town called, Idaho Falls
01:00:44Man, the girls there are Walter
01:00:48Beautiful quilts I
01:00:51Remember lots of beautiful
01:00:55You've been to Stockholm
01:00:59No
01:01:03Munich
01:01:09Barcelona
01:01:11Oh
01:01:16They all have beautiful women
01:01:22Gotta go there sometime
01:01:25You know to see them
01:01:36What
01:01:41What
01:01:52You're good guy Walt you still can't have my wife
01:02:11You were great with Edna
01:02:21Hey, I'll bring over your marital toys sometime, but that's not around
01:02:35Hey, hi
01:02:41Alright
01:02:44I'm gonna walk
01:02:49Could I walk with you
01:02:52Yeah
01:03:10I'm sorry Joey
01:03:14About what
01:03:18Not everything
01:03:22So am I
01:03:25It's not what I thought would happen
01:03:28Not with you and me
01:03:32Not with you and me
01:03:34Hey check this out
01:03:37We used to do this in my old Pontiac remember I mean before we did it in your old Buick
01:03:44Watch this
01:03:47Hey kids knees and teeth together at all times don't pay any attention to him
01:03:52I invented some of the things you're doing in there pal. Just go back to what you were doing. I'm taking him home
01:04:02Oh
01:04:16Are you taking me home? No
01:04:31So what about that
01:04:34She's okay
01:04:36She's kind of confused since you're here, but she likes Walt
01:04:42What does that mean as long as I'm not around she'll be fine
01:04:45I didn't say that it sounded like what you said Joey that idolizes you
01:04:50Sorry, you're a legend
01:04:55She's not a great father, right
01:04:58She knows you love her
01:05:02Walt got pretty trashed tonight
01:05:05How do you know cuz I was at the party I bought him a couple of rounds wish him luck. I figured he'll need it
01:05:14You bought Walt a couple of rounds. Yeah a couple of dozen rounds. I
01:05:20Mean, I don't want him to be in great shape tomorrow night, you know
01:05:31It's just that I fixed the roof that summer and I feel attached to it
01:05:45I
01:05:50Think we made a winner together
01:06:04Cupcakes
01:06:08See I ain't that bad a guy nobody said you are I
01:06:12Was scared to be along with you
01:06:21There's nothing to be scared about
01:06:35Okay, I won't
01:06:41Tonight sweet dreams
01:06:58Yes, you could come in get some new things good idea
01:07:12Where's that dog
01:07:30You might need some of your clothes
01:07:32Yeah
01:07:44In the dining room
01:07:57Went to the preacher
01:08:02Oh
01:08:32Shadow
01:08:59I think the spy was
01:09:03I
01:09:17Didn't mean what I said
01:09:32Oh
01:10:02I
01:10:05Open your eyes. This is me
01:10:32I
01:10:54Wasn't ready for your mouth
01:11:03What's with you Joey, I mean, it's been a long night go to bed I'm feeding Tommy
01:11:12Are you going to work? Yeah, I'm going to work. What do you think I'm doing? I don't know what to think
01:11:21I mean
01:11:23I
01:11:30Do you take all my meatballs got any left? Yeah, I'd be good
01:11:38I
01:11:47Roll
01:11:50What you think buddy
01:12:08Oh, yeah, don't worry daddy's home
01:12:26Joey
01:12:28What's going on? You gotta go? Why don't just call?
01:12:31She's dropping Beth off any minute so and Angie's coming over for the final fitting of my wedding dress
01:12:36Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You don't need a wedding dress. You told me you love me last night. Remember I
01:12:42do love you, but I
01:12:45Can't go back to what we had before I don't want that
01:12:51I can't I can't
01:13:06You gotta go I don't want Beth to be any more confusing she already is
01:13:36I
01:14:06Won't let you
01:14:36I
01:14:51Could always use another good drill punch operator kind of repetitive, but damn good money
01:14:57Pays by the piece anything else
01:15:00Smelter melting metal and large kettles all the overtime you want plus a year or two a shot at metal die casting
01:15:11Anything in sales this dress is for a fat girl, honey, you couldn't possibly look fat you're a twig
01:15:20Angie it's a little tight around here
01:15:23I got nothing to keep it up. I'm gonna be tugging on it all day. You're right mom. You look great
01:15:29Of course that is only part of my dress that fits
01:15:45I just signed up got a job
01:15:52I
01:15:57Great man, yeah, I start Monday
01:16:06I'll see you Monday then
01:16:14See money
01:16:23You
01:16:45What are we gonna do with my hair what do you want to do honey
01:16:49Can I have flowers do you want to have flowers
01:16:52Fireballs gotta have flowers in her hair
01:16:54Well, you can have flowers in your hair. Why don't you go take this dress off? Okay
01:17:15What are you doing here
01:17:19You
01:17:25You're really going through with this
01:17:28Joey
01:17:31What if I told you I was staying I got a job at the plant I start on Monday
01:17:36You don't want to do that
01:17:39You'd be miserable I can do that. I don't want you to be miserable for me
01:17:44You don't have to make me any more promises just don't get married today
01:18:14I
01:18:34What's going on
01:18:36Well Joey Chris
01:18:41Joey just I got a job at the plant
01:18:45I'm staying
01:18:50Chris I can't do it this way. No, I'm I'm not gonna get into a contest here
01:19:09Seats
01:19:14I
01:19:17Love you, Chris
01:19:29Wow
01:19:44You
01:19:52So you kind of love him don't you
01:20:04Kind of do
01:20:06I
01:20:17Know you love me, too
01:20:36You
01:21:06I
01:21:36I
01:22:06I
01:22:12Do and you give to me
01:22:36Oh
01:23:06I
01:23:29Stuart I hope you catch the bouquet
01:23:36Oh
01:24:00Not a good dress
01:24:06I
01:24:18One dance, okay
01:24:27Okay, just not too close
01:24:37Oh
01:24:48This is your day mother
01:24:56Look very happy. I am
01:25:00It makes me happy to see you happy, isn't that a kick in the butt
01:25:09I want to take Beth for a drive say goodbye. I'll bring her right back. Okay
01:25:18Nice wedding, huh
01:25:23Promise me you'll outlive Walter
01:25:25Well, I mean Walt's free to live a healthy and happy life for as long as he wants I just want you to live a little longer
01:25:31Why?
01:25:34Because I'm gonna live forever and I want to be old with you
01:25:45Go on dance with your way
01:25:55I
01:26:07Was thinking I just want you to know that I could never do what you do
01:26:19So we're even
01:26:26Hey
01:26:39Send me a goddamn postcard
01:26:50Let's go
01:26:55I
01:27:25I
01:27:27I
01:27:54Think I'm gonna leave today
01:27:57I
01:27:59Even if I have to live with mom and Walt you'll still come to see me, won't you?
01:28:09Sweetheart
01:28:11I'm your dad. Nothing's gonna ever change that
01:28:16You're my home now
01:28:24And someday
01:28:26All this will be yours
01:28:30Gee thanks dad
01:28:36Hey, you know what we could finish the cabin. Yeah you and me
01:28:48What I could come back this summer and we could finish this place it could be ours
01:28:53Dad you never make plans that far in advance. Well now I do
01:28:59What do you say you and me this summer three whole months?
01:29:09You don't have to make me promises
01:29:17I'll love you anyway
01:29:23I
01:29:28I'm not gonna make any more promises bet
01:29:36I'm just gonna try and do better
01:29:53You
01:30:03So, where are you going this time I
01:30:11Don't know yet
01:30:14You
01:30:21Know someday your mom's gonna let you come with me
01:30:30There's a lot of places I've seen and a lot of places I haven't
01:30:39But I think I should save the best places for you
01:30:43Yeah
01:31:14Me and stop
01:31:29Promises
01:31:43I
01:32:04See what
01:32:13Oh
01:32:43Oh
01:33:13Oh
01:33:43Oh
01:34:13Oh
01:34:43You
01:35:13You