• 3 months ago
Remington Steele S01E22

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TV
Transcript
00:00Wait, surely there must be a better way out of here.
00:09I've never pulled a man off a bloody bridge before, and I'm not sure that I can talk fast
00:12enough to stop him from trying to do it again.
00:13Do these windows open from the inside?
00:15But if you only needed the 50,000, then why did you take-
00:182.3 million.
00:21Alfred, I want you to stand perfectly still.
00:26Do you hear me?
00:30Oh, no!
00:36Try this for a deep, dark secret.
00:39The great detective Remington Steele?
00:42He doesn't exist.
00:43I invented him.
00:45Follow.
00:46I always loved excitement.
00:48So I studied and apprenticed and put my name on an office.
00:52But absolutely nobody knocked down my door.
00:55A female private investigator seemed so feminine.
00:59So I invented a superior, a decidedly masculine superior.
01:04Suddenly there were cases around the block.
01:06It was working like a charm.
01:09Until the day he walked in with his blue eyes and mysterious past.
01:14And before I knew it, he assumed Remington Steele's identity.
01:18Now I do the work and he takes the vows.
01:22It's a dangerous way to live.
01:25But as long as people buy it, I can get the job done.
01:29We never mix business with pleasure.
01:32Well, almost never.
01:35I don't even know his real name.
01:52♪♪
02:02♪♪
02:12♪♪
02:22♪♪
02:32♪♪
02:42♪♪
02:52♪♪
02:57Miss Hockmeyer?
02:59Yeah, this is Mr. Hollis.
03:01Uh, yes, it seems the shredder in Currency Destruction Room 3
03:05is acting up again.
03:07Yes, I've called the repairman
03:09and canceled this afternoon's transfer from the vault.
03:12You might as well send the crew home.
03:14What?
03:17Uh, you have a nice weekend, too.
03:21♪♪
03:31♪♪
03:38I'm telling you, Hollis, I'd live for the weekends.
03:42Which Currency Destruction Room did you say this was for?
03:45Three.
03:47Well, let's see.
03:49Get an 8 million ready for the chopper.
03:52A 4.6 million and a 2.3 million.
03:56I'll take the 2.3.
03:59There you go.
04:02Now, me, I'm heading over to Catalina
04:06for two days and nights with Barbara Boom Boom Bellows.
04:10From accounting?
04:13Uh, how about you?
04:15You got any plans?
04:17Well, there's a reading of Tolstoy's War and Peace
04:20on the radio I thought I might catch.
04:23Uh, sounds exciting, Hollis.
04:26Yeah.
04:43Can I give you a hand there, Mr. Hollis?
04:46No.
04:48Oh, uh, I just dropped my keys here, Horace.
04:51No problem. I'll get them done for you.
04:54Can't have a new assistant manager spend his lunch hours
04:57scraping for a set of keys.
04:59Now, can we?
05:01Thanks, Horace.
05:03Forget it. Have a nice weekend.
05:05Yes, you too.
05:07♪
05:37♪
06:07♪
06:17♪
06:27♪
06:37♪
06:47♪
06:57♪
07:07I'll admit, coming to the office
07:10is hardly my idea of a perfect Saturday morning.
07:13But I can think of more imaginative ways
07:16to avoid it than a flat tire.
07:18I understand, Mr. Steele.
07:20And Mr. Cutler is most anxious to meet with you as well.
07:24What's so desperate about his problem
07:26that it can't wait until Monday anyway?
07:28I understand that time is of the essence, sir,
07:30when it comes to a missing school of prize-winning car.
07:33Koi. They're called koi.
07:35They hit every pond on my estate.
07:37The whole collection.
07:39Gloria, am I to understand that you're dragging us away
07:42from a perfectly good weekend to search for missing fish?
07:46Yes, sir. Some of those koi
07:48are worth over $25,000 apiece, Mr. Steele.
07:51Oh, my God!
07:53I'll relay your concern to Mr. Cutler, sir.
07:56Sir.
07:58Mr. Steele.
08:00Wait!
08:02Ah! Ah!
08:04You know, I'm not in the habit of coming between a man and his maker,
08:08but surely there must be a better way out of here.
08:11No, there isn't.
08:13We all have our gray days.
08:15I've had a gray life, and it just turned pitch black.
08:18Thanks, but no thanks.
08:20Now, just hold on a moment, Mr., uh...
08:22Hollis. Alfred R. Hollis.
08:24Remington. Remington Steele.
08:26Now, I mean, think about it for a moment, Alfred.
08:29In every dark corner, there's still one's work to consider.
08:32Shut to hell.
08:34Well, then, good friends, perhaps.
08:36Don't have any.
08:38Treasured loved one.
08:40I mean, if you're so anxious to get to the pavement down there,
08:43I mean, why don't you let me drive you?
08:45I mean, my car's only over there,
08:47and I'll have Fred, my chauffeur, drive you wherever you like.
08:51I don't think that will produce the same result.
08:53Now, you just let me be the best judge of that, okay?
08:56All right.
08:58Now, approximately how many fish would you say were stolen, Mr. Cutler?
09:02They're not just fish. They're koi.
09:04Now, when is Mr. Steele arriving?
09:06You just have a seat in here, Alfred, okay?
09:08Mr. Steele.
09:09Finally.
09:10Ah, you're, uh, Carpfish.
09:12Cutler.
09:13Right.
09:14Could I see you for a moment, Mr. Steele?
09:15Maybe I should go.
09:16Out of the question.
09:17You just stay right there and have a seat,
09:19and you see to it that it does, eh, Carpfish?
09:21Cutler. It's Cutler.
09:22Okay.
09:25You're really trying to punch a hole in this one, aren't you?
09:27Laura, it's not what you think.
09:29Look, I know stolen fish may sound ridiculous,
09:31but first it's the flat tire, then you hang up on me,
09:33then you show up late.
09:34Who is that guy, anyway?
09:35His name is Alfred Hollis,
09:36because he was trying to kill himself.
09:37Louise, I know you can do better than that.
09:39Oh, but it's true.
09:40That's why I really need your help.
09:41I've never pulled a man off a bloody bridge before,
09:43and I'm not sure that I can talk fast enough
09:44to stop him from trying to do it again.
09:46Are you serious?
09:47I'm more than just a bit frightened, too.
09:48Excuse me, will you?
09:50Yes.
09:52I don't have all the details,
09:53but I'm certain that Alfred won't talk to anyone official,
09:55which means that right now we're the only ones
09:57between him and a fast-falling set of great hereafter.
09:59All right, all right, all right.
10:00Calm down now, now.
10:01Think of something.
10:02Good.
10:03First we have to figure out a way to get rid of Carpfish.
10:05I thought his name was Cutler.
10:07I wasn't trying to steal the money, you understand.
10:10I just wanted to borrow it.
10:13For the weekend.
10:15I promised Angelica I'd do everything I could to help.
10:19Angelica?
10:21She's a young woman.
10:23A very special young woman.
10:25The only one to ever make me realize
10:27that life could be more than a steady job,
10:31a room with two windows, and a long book.
10:36She moved in the apartment just above mine
10:38a few months back from Spain.
10:40And you were trying to help her?
10:43You see, she opened one of these little specialty boutiques,
10:48but it took all the money she brought with her
10:49just to get it started.
10:52When her suppliers suspected she was broke,
10:54they demanded to see the rest of her collateral
10:56by this weekend, or they'd shut her down.
10:59She had the money, but it was all tied up in Spain,
11:01so we thought if she could just show them, say,
11:05$50,000 of solid American currency...
11:08They'd leave her alone till her own funds came through.
11:11But if you only needed the $50,000,
11:13then why did you take...
11:152.3 million.
11:21It was the smallest they had.
11:24Besides, when you've destroyed as many billions as I have,
11:29after a while, it just turns into green paper.
11:33Until, of course, some of it is missing.
11:36I was gonna bring it all back early Monday morning,
11:38feed it into the shredder myself so that everything would balance,
11:41but now I've lost everything.
11:45The money, my job, Angelica.
11:51Do these windows open from the inside?
11:53No, no. It's a modern building.
11:55Sorry.
11:57I don't mean to sound negative,
11:59but it's obvious we can't go to the police,
12:01and our chances of finding a stolen car
12:03with 2.3 million stashed under the seat...
12:05I know. From his shoes, jumping must look pretty good,
12:08but we've got to find a way to keep him back off the...
12:13Uh, you know, Alfred,
12:16I would really love to meet Angelica.
12:18Hey, I thought you said those windows didn't open from the inside.
12:21Oh, no, we were just...
12:24I don't think I can freeze her.
12:26Alfred, if Angelica is all that you say, I'm sure she'll understand.
12:30She's not here. Let's go.
12:32No, no, let's wait for her to come back.
12:34I don't have a key.
12:36No problem.
12:38Just happen to have it.
12:44You're going to break in.
12:46I'm not going to break in.
12:48I'm not going to break in.
12:52You're going to break in. That's illegal.
12:56Look who's talking.
12:58Alfred, I know this may sound trite under the circumstances,
13:01but the fact is, we all make mistakes.
13:04That hardly means that the people we trust most
13:07are going to turn their backs on us and desert us.
13:10Voila.
13:15Angelica?
13:17Alfred, are you sure this was her apartment?
13:20She's gone.
13:22I don't understand.
13:24Alfred, it doesn't seem as if anyone has lived here for...
13:28quite some time.
13:30But that's impossible.
13:32Hollis? What are you doing in here?
13:34Mrs. Claggett, what happened to Angelica?
13:36Who?
13:38Angelica Degama. This is her apartment.
13:40I've managed this building since Ernie caught a slug in Nam, Hollis,
13:43and we've never had a tenant here by that name.
13:46This is the Dubins' apartment.
13:48They've been in Europe for the past year.
13:50Just how did you get in here, anyway?
13:55If you'll all just...
13:57excuse me for a moment.
14:00Alfred! Alfred!
14:02Alfred, don't excuse me!
14:12Alfred!
14:14I want you to stand perfectly still.
14:16Do you hear me?
14:19Angelica!
14:21We can all appreciate how upset you are about her, Alfred,
14:23but no, look!
14:26It's Angelica!
14:28All right!
14:31That's Angelica.
14:40That's Angelica.
14:44That's Angelica.
14:52But I drank my first glass of sangria in that apartment.
14:55Tasted my first smoked oyster. I know she lived there!
14:58I believe you, Alfred. You do?
15:01According to the landlady, the apartment's been empty for the last year,
15:04but this newspaper is only a week old.
15:06Are you suggesting gaslight?
15:09What?
15:12In other words, Alfred, Angelica appears to vanish without a trace
15:15just a day after the money does.
15:17Wait a second.
15:19Are you saying my car being stolen last night wasn't a coincidence?
15:22No, no, no. I mean, dozens of cars are stolen every day.
15:25I mean, hundreds of them.
15:27But Angelica knew I'd be taking that money out instead of destroying it.
15:30You're saying she took it.
15:32Tell me, Alfred, the boutique that Angelica opened,
15:36what was it called?
15:38Broken Promises.
15:40I was afraid to tell her that I lost the money.
15:43All along, she was using me.
15:45Alfred, sometimes it's important for us
15:48to try and look beyond the mere facts.
15:52It's all right, Steele.
15:54I think I understand now.
15:56Good. Everything's gonna be okay.
15:58Good.
16:04Oh, my God!
16:06Alfred!
16:08Oh, my God!
16:13What happened?
16:15I had another thought.
16:24All right, all right, I'm coming.
16:31Laura?
16:33I'm sorry to barge in on your Saturday,
16:35but there is a small favor that I need to ask you.
16:37It should only be for a few hours.
16:39Alfred here needs someplace quiet to collect his thoughts. Sit.
16:41Wait. To be perfectly honest, guys,
16:43now is not exactly the best time, you know what I mean?
16:45Laura, look, I don't pretend to know what this is about.
16:48And ordinarily, I do anything you ask,
16:50but you specifically told me you could handle
16:52the missing fish client by yourself, and frankly...
16:54Murph, I thought that you said you were gonna get rid of whoever...
16:57was at the door.
17:01Oh, dear.
17:03We've come at a bad time, haven't we?
17:06Yes, you could say that.
17:09Well, I must say,
17:11this is an honor to meet you at last, Miss, uh...
17:14Uh, Sherry.
17:16Sherry Webster.
17:18Of course. Murphy has told us so much about you.
17:21Really? But we just met last night.
17:24Oh.
17:26Well, I see.
17:28Tell me, uh, Sherry,
17:30would you by any chance know how to brew a pot of tea?
17:33Tea? I guess I... Why?
17:35Well, first, tea is such a mature, civilized drink.
17:38And in a few minutes, I sense that we all need to be just as mature
17:41and as civilized as we can possibly be.
17:46Boy, 6-iron is slipping.
17:50Look at this place.
17:52It's hard to picture Alfred getting caught up
17:54with someone who likes to wear all this.
17:58Hey!
18:00If you're looking for somebody to play with,
18:02go down to one of the boulevards.
18:04It's strictly trappings in here.
18:06Sorry.
18:08We were just admiring your, uh, your necklace.
18:10Well, it's not for sale.
18:12There something else you want?
18:14We were just waiting for Angelica, actually.
18:16She's supposed to meet us here.
18:18Huh? Well, you're in for a long wait.
18:20Oh? Why's that?
18:22The deadbeats I fire don't come back,
18:24especially when they owe me money.
18:26She worked for you then?
18:28Yeah. She was here for a while,
18:30but she was too busy running up a phone bill to be working for me.
18:33She owes to our casting director.
18:35If you could verify the number for us,
18:37I'd be glad to reimburse you.
18:39Don't move.
18:41I got the bill right here.
18:43$35.80.
18:45You're a casting director, huh?
18:47Mm-hmm.
18:49What do you want with Angelica, anyway?
18:51Uh, we're working on a, um,
18:53a punk version of Gone With the Wind.
18:55And we had her in mind for Scarlet.
18:57Any idea where we might find her?
18:59Yeah. Lingerie.
19:01Ah. Bit of weakness for lace and satin, eh?
19:03Lingerie.
19:05It's a club down on Sunset.
19:07I heard her mention it a couple of times.
19:09This is our number that she kept calling.
19:11Do you, by any chance,
19:13have a phone that I could use?
19:15Sure.
19:17It's right here.
19:19Oh.
19:21Ah.
19:23Handy.
19:25You must feel so hopeless,
19:27helpless, turmoiled, frustrated,
19:29despondent, panicked, enraged,
19:31lonely, exiled.
19:33You want to end it all, too, huh?
19:35I have a Ph.D. in psychology.
19:37I thought you said you were a stewardess.
19:41You tell a man you're a doctor of psychology,
19:43you end up going home by yourself.
19:45They're all afraid you're out there
19:47to analyze their performance or something.
19:49At least as a stewardess,
19:51I stand a chance of getting lucky.
19:53Yeah.
19:55Yeah, Laura, he's all right.
19:57No. No, no, no, no.
19:59Nothing's happened. Absolutely nothing.
20:01What?
20:03Hey, it's Saturday.
20:05Come on, how am I supposed to track down a number on...
20:07All right, give it to me.
20:11555-8878.
20:13That's the bank.
20:15That's the bank.
20:17That's the bank.
20:19That's the bank.
20:21That's the bank.
20:23Hold on a second. What?
20:25All the numbers at the bank
20:27start with 555.
20:29I don't know whose line 8878 is, but...
20:31Um...
20:33I think I can track down
20:35that number after all.
20:37Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
20:39Thanks, Murf. Bye.
20:41All those calls Angelica made
20:43were to the bank,
20:45but not to Alfred. So whom, then?
20:47An accomplice, perhaps?
20:49Possible.
20:51Someone else on the inside,
20:53someone who knew what Alfred did,
20:55maybe even the kind of loner that he was.
20:57Hmm. Easy prey for a sharp girl with a sad story.
20:59She gets him to borrow the money...
21:01And then they steal it out from under him.
21:03The perfect patsy.
21:05He can't go to the police, Angelica vanishes,
21:07and he's left trying to tell a story
21:09his own mother wouldn't buy.
21:11Gong with the wind, huh?
21:13I guess it takes all kinds.
21:15Yes.
21:17Hopefully we'll find the money.
21:19Well, Alfred,
21:21I sincerely hope you're through
21:23with that self-destructive bent.
21:25Murf, it's not your headache.
21:27Alfred, when a man saves another man's life,
21:29it entails a certain responsibility.
21:31But why should you worry
21:33about what happens to me?
21:35Ah, yes.
21:37There was a particularly rocky period
21:39in my life
21:41before I became Remington Steel.
21:43That is,
21:45before I dedicated myself
21:47to the service of others.
21:49I was in a state of perpetual anger,
21:51lashing out at anything
21:53and anyone who crossed my path.
21:55I didn't realize it then,
21:57but that anger was directed at myself,
21:59a way of ending a life
22:01that held no promise,
22:03no purpose, no future, no nothing.
22:05Then someone came along
22:07who taught me self-respect,
22:09imbued in me a certain clarity of thought,
22:11a certain sense of direction.
22:13Perhaps I'm merely attempting
22:15to repay that person through you.
22:17It's hard to believe.
22:19I mean, you have everything.
22:21Confidence, success,
22:23silk shirts.
22:25Well, it just goes to show you, Alfred,
22:27we all have moments of self-doubt and despair.
22:29The trick is to hang on
22:31until they pass.
22:33Steel here.
22:35Ah, yes, Laura.
22:37Yes, yes.
22:39Excellent thought.
22:41I'm sure they will welcome us with open arms.
22:43Of course, we'll be there right away.
22:45Okay, good-bye.
22:51I didn't know you had
22:53a relative in Cleveland, Alfred.
22:55No, first cousins once we moved
22:57on his mother's side of the tree.
22:59This is just a stopover, really,
23:01on our way to Hawaii.
23:03Since we were here, we just insisted
23:05Cousin Alfred show us where he works.
23:07Look, I'm afraid we start locking down
23:09for the night in 15 minutes.
23:13Nice meeting you all.
23:27If your inter-office directory is correct,
23:29this should be 8878.
23:31And it is.
23:33Oh, no. What?
23:35It's also the office of J.P. Whitcomb,
23:37the district supervisor.
23:39You know him?
23:41No, not really.
23:43I mean, I've never even seen him, but, uh...
23:45You know, it's funny.
23:47His calendar hasn't been used for a while.
23:49Except for this address.
23:51You see, it was J.P. Whitcomb
23:53who signed the memo promoting me
23:55to assistant manager two months ago.
23:57About the same time Angelica
23:59appeared upstairs.
24:01So the only reason I was promoted
24:03was to get the money out of the vault
24:05with just my signature.
24:09Alfred, I know it appears
24:11you've been very carefully set up, but...
24:13Al...
24:15Alfred.
24:17Alfred?
24:19Alfred!
24:33Alfred!
24:59Alfred!
25:03Alfred!
25:17Alfred?
25:19Alfred!
25:25I think someone's trying to kill me!
25:28Alfred!
25:34We lost him!
25:43All right.
25:45Uh, look, if he does come in,
25:47please have him return my call.
25:49Thank you very much.
25:51Well, have you come up with anything?
25:53No.
25:55I tried his house, the bank,
25:57all the hospitals, nothing.
25:59He's just gone.
26:01Well, he's got to be out there somewhere.
26:03I mean, we're not going to find him
26:05on the bloody telephone, are we?
26:07Easy, easy. We all want to find out for you.
26:11What about the beach?
26:13I mean, in Star Is Born,
26:15Frederick March walks himself into the ocean.
26:17Or the train station.
26:19I mean, Garbo threw himself in front of a train
26:21in Anna Karenina.
26:23I thought you were a music lover.
26:25I thought your shingle was psychology.
26:27Yeah.
26:29But I minored in film.
26:31Oh.
26:33All right, I'm game. You do the movies.
26:35I'll do the driving.
26:39I wonder where Murphy met Sherry.
26:43You all right?
26:45You pull someone off a bridge,
26:47you think you're doing them a favor.
26:49But every corner we turn around on this one
26:51is the same.
26:53At least before Alfred believed
26:55he had a girlfriend, a promotion.
26:57You tell me.
26:59I mean, what does he have now?
27:01He has you.
27:03Oh.
27:05Ah.
27:19Inspired thought, Laura.
27:21Looking at these people,
27:23one's self-esteem can't help but improve.
27:35Rodney Chatsford.
27:37I heard about your movie.
27:39I want to try out.
27:41Movie?
27:43Gone with the Wind. Revisited.
27:45Word certainly gets around fast down here, doesn't it?
27:47Watch this.
27:51Frankly, my dear Scarlet,
27:55you stink.
27:59Interesting interpretation.
28:01Very interesting.
28:03If we could see you with the Scarlet
28:05that we had in mind.
28:15Here's Angelica.
28:27Are you coming along quietly, Scarlet,
28:29or do I have to get rough?
28:34I thought Whitcomb had sent you.
28:36That's why I ran off.
28:38But Whitcomb set you up in that apartment.
28:40You worked for him, right?
28:42Only because I had to.
28:44He has big friends in the immigration department.
28:47And I'm not so legal, you know.
28:49He says if I don't get Alfredo to take the money,
28:51he's going to have me sent back.
28:53To Spain?
28:55Tijuana.
28:57So you filled Alfred's balloon with a lot of hot sweet air
29:00and then popped it
29:02by stealing his car with the money in it.
29:04I'm not so proud of myself, okay?
29:06When I take the car back to Whitcomb,
29:08I see he has a gun.
29:10That's when I think he's maybe going to kill Alfredo.
29:12A little deception's all right,
29:14but the thought of murder upsets your delicate sensibilities, eh?
29:16Think what you want!
29:18Stay right there. Don't move.
29:20Alfredo was not the only one to fall in love.
29:22So many people.
29:24Everyone's got some kind of game, you know.
29:26But Alfredo...
29:28Alfredo...
29:30He was just Alfredo.
29:32I went back to the apartment anyway last night.
29:34I was going to tell him everything,
29:36warn him about Whitcomb.
29:38I waited there all night, but he never came back.
29:40Finally, I got scared
29:42and left this morning
29:44to go looking for him.
29:46That must have been when he pointed you out to us.
29:48Alfredo was with you?
29:50You know where he is?
29:52Alfred was with his den,
29:54but as for your other questions, I...
29:56It'll be daylight soon. Angelica,
29:58if Alfred really matters to you,
30:00can you tell us where to look?
30:02Was there any place, any favorite spot
30:04where he might go if he were in trouble?
30:06I don't know.
30:08Sometimes,
30:10when he was kind of down,
30:12he'd want to go walking on the bridge.
30:14The bridge.
30:16Oh, no, not that bridge. Come on!
30:18Come on.
30:26Come on.
30:56Come on.
31:14Ah!
31:16Steel, what are you doing here?
31:18Alfred, you're alive!
31:20Of course I'm alive.
31:22You're alive! He's alive!
31:24Look, Laura, he's alive!
31:26Why are you alive?
31:28Oh, you mean, how come I didn't, uh...
31:30Well, considering recent events,
31:32it's not an unfair question, is it?
31:34No. Yeah, well...
31:36I guess I pretty much hit bottom
31:38when I realized my promotion
31:40was just another part of the setup,
31:42but when those bullets started flying
31:44and I realized
31:46someone was trying to kill me,
31:48well, I, uh...
31:50I got kind of mad, you know?
31:52I mean, it's one thing
31:54if I don't feel like living anymore,
31:56but for somebody else to decide
31:58willy-nilly that I should be dead!
32:00But, Alfred, if you wanted to keep on living,
32:02then why did you run away from us?
32:04Oh, Miss Holt,
32:06I couldn't let you take any more risks,
32:08especially not with a killer after me.
32:10That's why I came out here
32:12to figure out my next move.
32:14I thought about going out to look for Angelica,
32:16but, uh, I guess I must have fallen asleep.
32:22Angelica?
32:24If I could take it back to the beginning, Fredo,
32:26I wouldn't change a thing,
32:28except the last day.
32:30Alfred, she led us to you,
32:32and for what it's worth,
32:34she didn't have to.
32:36If I knew what Wicom did with the money, I'd tell you.
32:38So...
32:40I see you're all right now.
32:44I can be going back to Mexico.
32:47Angelica, wait.
32:52Well, that's all well and good,
32:54but if we don't find that $2.3 million soon,
32:58you still have that address we got off of Wicom's calendar?
33:01Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, yes, right here,
33:03next to my heart.
33:08I hear ya! I hear ya!
33:11I'll be there in a minute!
33:13Assuming we get in there,
33:15do you think it's a good idea
33:17to let Alfred along with us like this?
33:19I mean, I know he seems to be back on solid ground,
33:22but supposing he loses his footing in a place like that?
33:25Hmm?
33:27You know what time it is?
33:29I'll tell you what time it is.
33:31It's 7 o'clock a.m. on Sunday.
33:33Now, what the hell do you think you're doing?
33:35Look, I'm really, really sorry,
33:37but today is Daddy's birthday,
33:39and with his condition, who knows how many more he'll have?
33:41And I know he got his favorite gun ever from you a few months back,
33:44and if Clark here hadn't lost it...
33:46How was I supposed to know it was in the moose head?
33:48Well, if you had the decency to hold off the garage sale
33:50until after he was gone, Sis and I could have given him
33:52the vibrating footbath with a built-in clock radio like we planned,
33:54but no!
33:56All right, all right, I suppose a dying man
33:58deserves to have his favorite piece close by.
34:00Just try and buy it quietly, if you can.
34:03Yes, yes, yes, yes.
34:05I'll get the keys.
34:07Thank you, sir, thank you.
34:09Wonderful.
34:11You two really, sisters?
34:13Funny. Most people can tell right off.
34:16Well, I can't find any record of a purchase by a J.P. Whitcomb.
34:20Maybe if you could tell me what the gun looked like.
34:23I mean, I carry all kinds.
34:25I don't know the first thing about guns, Steele.
34:28Well, uh, they're really very, uh, overrated.
34:32I mean, you just point them away from you and, uh, shoot.
34:35Nothing could be duller.
34:40Up!
34:42I think it looked like this one,
34:44except the handle had yellow wood on it.
34:46Are you sure?
34:48That's a standard service revolver used by cops and the like.
34:51Laura.
34:53You're not gonna like it, but we managed to locate Whitcomb.
34:56Where?
34:58Sleepy Meadows Memorial Park.
35:00Oh. Well, that's a cemetery, isn't it?
35:02J.P. Whitcomb is dead,
35:04and he has been for the last two months.
35:06What?
35:09Oh!
35:11What's happening?
35:13Whitcomb is dead?
35:15Your dad!
35:17Aw, gee, I'm so sorry.
35:19And on his birthday, too.
35:32Obviously, whoever's behind this at the bank
35:35knew Whitcomb was dead
35:37and has been using his name and office to run the scam.
35:40But we've still got less than half a day to find the money.
35:43And get it back in the bank.
35:45And destroy it before somebody blows the whistle in the morning.
35:49It'd be awful risky for him to lug it around everywhere.
35:52He'd probably find someplace safe to hide it.
35:55Unfortunately, the only clue we had
35:58in our ersatz Mr. Whitcomb proved to be a dead end.
36:01Wait a second.
36:03This is one of the straps we used to bundle the condemned currency.
36:07Where did you get this?
36:09On the floor of Whitcomb's office.
36:11Of course. The bank.
36:13He's keeping the money somewhere in the bank.
36:16No one would ever think to look for it there with all that security.
36:19Where could it be safer?
36:21But even if that's true, it's too late.
36:23By now, security has already started its lockdown for the night.
36:26Then we'll break in.
36:28Break in?
36:30Won't you all excuse Miss Holt and me for a moment?
36:33It's better this way.
36:36Laura?
36:38Before we go raising the hopes out there any higher,
36:41you might recall they were talking about the Federal Reserve Bank
36:44of your esteemed government, not some local liquor store
36:47with a simple trip alarm, a trusty deadbolt and a sleepy schnauzer.
36:50Are you telling me it can't be done?
36:52With sufficient lead time, enough preparation, perhaps.
36:55We don't have any of those.
36:57His plain and simple Alfred R. Hollis,
36:59who ran away when someone was trying to kill him
37:02because he didn't want to see us get killed.
37:04Or is there more to pulling people off bridges than you bargain for?
37:07Believe me, Laura, I'm painfully aware of my responsibility.
37:11Painfully.
37:13Ouch.
37:17Alfred, most buildings, like most people, have a soft spot somewhere,
37:22someplace where they're very vulnerable.
37:25Any idea where that might be in the bank?
37:27I don't know. I never thought much about the building.
37:30Well, don't think of it as a building. Think of it more as a system.
37:33I mean, take your job, for instance.
37:35I mean, after you finish destroying the money, what happens to it?
37:38Well, once the CVCS shreds it,
37:41it goes through a tube into a central pulverizing bin
37:44and then it continues on up to a dumpster on the roof.
37:47The roof?
37:50The roof.
37:55Let's go.
38:11You know, I'm not 100% sure I know how to operate one of these things.
38:15No sweat.
38:17Don't tell me.
38:19I work construction during the summers.
38:23I'll check the hook.
38:26Hmm. Remarkable young lady, that Sherry.
38:33Before we start, I think there's something you ought to know.
38:36What's that?
38:38I'm not very good with sheer drops.
38:40Ah, then it's unanimous.
38:53Here goes nothing.
39:14Now swing them around towards the bank.
39:23Laura!
39:27Take my hand.
39:29Come on.
39:31Don't look down.
39:33Take my hand, Laura.
39:35You can do it.
39:37Come on. Here's a hand.
39:39Come on.
39:43Come on.
39:45Don't look down. Come on.
39:47Come on. Once more on the count of three. You can do it.
39:50One, two, three.
39:55Come on, swing.
39:57That's it. Come on.
39:59Come on.
40:07All right, now get them out of there!
40:20Come on.
40:39Maybe you were right.
40:41Maybe we shouldn't go through with this.
40:43Well, I can't say I disagree,
40:45but if we don't press on, our only way back is another ride in that crane.
40:48Oh, by the way, uh...
40:50Thanks.
41:09Goths. Goths.
41:19Ooh.
41:30Wow. Oh, wow.
41:32If Alfred's map is correct, we should be able to...
41:49I've always wanted to roll about millions of dollars with a beautiful woman.
41:53Curious how one's fantasies are fulfilled, eh?
41:56Maybe it's time we started thinking about fulfilling some other fantasies.
42:00Whose? Yours or mine?
42:03Ours.
42:05It's always good to take things slow
42:08and not rush things between us,
42:10not get in too deep,
42:13but only because we can.
42:15Not get in too deep,
42:17but only because we assume we'll both be around when the proper time comes.
42:21I know.
42:23I almost lost you out there tonight.
42:26Suddenly I realized I'm not prepared for that at all.
42:38Iris.
42:40I can't think of a conversation I'd like to continue more.
42:44But I'm afraid I haven't left any room for it in the schedule.
42:49Come with me this way.
43:14Come on.
43:34It has to be here somewhere.
43:36Yes, unless they've come back and beat us to it already.
43:40Have a look at this.
43:42Hmm?
43:48What do you make of this?
43:54Yes.
44:02Bless you, Mr. Steel.
44:21Yes.
44:23Try for more substantial than pennies from heaven, but...
44:30Ah, good. I was hoping someone official was going to stop by.
44:34I think I've located the source of the rodent problem you've been having around here.
44:38Montgomery Crewman, State Board of Exterminators.
44:41It seems that the mother rat has been using this room...
44:45I see you're taking your gun out.
44:48Your gun with the yellow wooden handle.
44:51You're not Montgomery Crewman.
44:53Or Alfred's cousin from Cleveland, are you?
44:56Whitcomb. You're Whitcomb.
44:58Whitcomb's dead, remember?
45:01But you can go ahead and take the money down now.
45:04Save me the trouble.
45:06So, you set the whole thing up, eh?
45:08Rather ingenious, wouldn't you agree?
45:10You see, I wasn't satisfied with the government pension plan...
45:14and knowing there was all this unwanted money floating around.
45:18And you knew exactly how tight security was on that money...
45:21so you actually needed someone else to steal it for you.
45:24Alfred was such a lonely man, I thought he needed a woman in his life.
45:28Someone he could help.
45:30Ah, but Alfred didn't have enough authority, so you faked his promotion.
45:34That's the great thing about bureaucracies.
45:36The left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing.
45:40The proper memo is signed by the proper official...
45:44and nobody even bothers to ask if he's still alive.
45:48And with the money stolen, there was just the little matter of killing Alfred.
45:52I'd planned for it to be a simple suicide in his apartment...
45:55but he didn't come back.
45:57Now I have to make some other arrangements.
46:00Not unlike the arrangements I'm about to make for you.
46:16Sorry to foul up all the arrangements, old boy.
46:19You've certainly waited long enough to make an entrance.
46:22I'll let it take all that time to think up such a brilliant stunt.
46:25You saved my life this evening.
46:27I was merely waiting for an opportunity to return the favor.
46:48Excuse me, but what are you doing here?
46:51To be honest, we were just contemplating matrimony.
46:55First, there are some investigators we have to talk to down at the bank.
46:58Still, it's great to be alive, don't you think?
47:04Stop apologizing, Murphy.
47:07This has been one of the most meaningful weekends I've ever spent with a guy.
47:12I mean, you really allowed me to be just who I am.
47:15Murphy, what exactly is going...
47:17Oh, please, Bernice, some other time.
47:19Oh, and I won't be in the rest of the day.
47:22And where are you going?
47:24With any luck to have my performance analyzed.
47:37All right, that's it. Now I want to know what's been happening here.
47:40Well, let's see.
47:42We prevented a man from committing suicide,
47:44although trying to commit suicide actually saved his life.
47:47And we broke into a bank.
47:49And we helped to see that nearly $2.5 million was properly destroyed.
47:52Come on, I'm serious.
47:54I'd like to elaborate, Miss Wolf,
47:56but right now Miss Holt and I have a pressing conversation to complete.
48:00Well, should I even bother to make the coffee?
48:03Ah, no, Bernice. We'll be having tea.
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