Remington Steele S01E12
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00:00I think we just found Dr. Maxwell.
00:06Where?
00:07In the tub.
00:08How dare he say that Amos Maxwell's death was murder?
00:10If he claims he was murdered, then he's...
00:12Put his foot in it again, didn't he?
00:14You don't think he's in any kind of danger, do you?
00:17No.
00:18There's one thing I learned about him.
00:20He can take care of himself.
00:21Where have you been?
00:22Nora, I've had the most incredible night.
00:23Pump the brakes!
00:24I'm pumping!
00:25I'm pumping!
00:26Joe!
00:27Are you crazy?
00:28We could be killed!
00:29Try this for a deep, dark secret.
00:30The great detective Remington Steele?
00:31He doesn't exist.
00:32I invented him.
00:33Follow.
00:34I always loved excitement.
00:35So I studied and apprenticed and put my name on an office.
00:36But absolutely nobody knocked down my door.
00:37A female professor.
00:38A man.
00:39A man.
00:40A man.
00:41A man.
00:42A man.
00:43A man.
00:44A man.
00:45A man.
00:46A man.
00:47A man.
00:48A man.
00:49A man.
00:50A man.
00:51A man.
00:52A man.
00:53A man.
00:54A man.
00:55But while I was there, a female private investigator seemed so feminine.
00:59So I invented a superior.
01:01A decidedly masculine superior.
01:04Suddenly there were cases around the block.
01:06It was working like a charm.
01:08Until the day he walked in with his blue eyes and mysterious past.
01:14And before I knew it, he assumed Remington Steele's identity.
01:19Now I do the work and he takes the vows.
01:22It's a dangerous way to live.
01:24But as long as people buy it, I can get the job done.
01:28We never mix business with pleasure.
01:31Well, almost never.
01:35I don't even know his real name.
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05:09Remington Steel Detective Agency. Please hold.
05:13♪♪
05:23♪♪
05:33Yes, Mrs. Stanton. Tuesday at 9.
05:37Mr. Steel will be delighted.
05:39Absolutely delighted.
05:41Uh, mm.
05:44So will I.
05:46♪♪
05:50Come out of there!
05:53You're going to be late.
05:55You are late!
05:57Want me to kick it in?
05:59Not yet. You gave your word.
06:01And everyone knows that Remington Steel's word is his bond.
06:05Laura, that's a most unfair tactic.
06:07Not if it works.
06:09I'm the honorary chairman of the committee that saved the bald eagle.
06:12It's good P.R. for the agency.
06:14What?
06:15A gaggle of blue-haired women
06:16prattling on about saving the bald eagle
06:18while they wear their chinchilla coats and alligator shoes?
06:21All you have to do is shake a few hands,
06:23show your pearly whites, and get your picture taken.
06:26You usually like that part.
06:28Hey, don't forget your book.
06:30What's that for?
06:31Makes it look as if you're interested in the committee's work.
06:34I realize the bald eagle is a national symbol,
06:36but I must confess,
06:37I don't like birds, especially bald ones.
06:39Remember, interested, sincere, concerned.
06:46I want to give you all a preview of our coming attractions.
06:49For our raffle,
06:51Mr. William Collins has contributed
06:53a week for two in Hawaii, all expenses paid,
06:57at the King Kamehameha...
07:00Sorry, ma'am.
07:02Are you on the committee?
07:03You all know it.
07:04It's one of the oldest and finest hotels
07:06on the beach at Waikiki.
07:08Mr. John Gleeson...
07:10You don't find this interesting?
07:12Has contributed a magnificent four-door sedan.
07:14A bit technical for my taste.
07:16One of those large American cars we all used to envy.
07:18Millicent is a bit of a bore, but she's terribly dedicated.
07:21Not while you're here. Dedication?
07:24They appeal to my sense of civic duty.
07:28Which one's Mrs. Grace Stanton?
07:31The bird-like lady with the twitch?
07:33Uh-uh.
07:34Tell me something.
07:35Why do all these women twitch?
07:37Obviously, you haven't seen their husbands.
07:41You don't twitch.
07:44I'm a widow, Mr. Steele.
07:46You seem to have me at a disadvantage.
07:48You know my name, but I don't know yours.
07:51And now, Mrs. Willis Stanton.
07:54Now you do.
07:58Friends, I have some news for you.
08:02Friends, I have some bad news and some good news.
08:06The bad news is that Dr. Amos Maxwell...
08:08was scheduled to give his report today...
08:10on the Lake Solitude Project...
08:12and its ecological aspects pertaining to the bald eagle.
08:15As you can see, he was unable to attend.
08:17But he will give his report day after tomorrow...
08:20at the Finance Committee meeting.
08:22My good news is that I have with us today...
08:24our honorary chairman...
08:26the renowned, if somewhat elusive...
08:28Mr. Remington Steele.
08:36Ever since I was privileged to come to your wonderful country...
08:40I've been fascinated by your bird.
08:43Nearly a day goes by...
08:45that I don't ponder the arcane reasons...
08:48that could have driven your founding fathers...
08:50to select something as...
08:52as, uh...
08:54Well, as you can see...
08:56words fail me when I contemplate the bald eagle.
09:00Thank you, Mr. Steele. Thank you.
09:02I can see that we are going to have...
09:04many fascinating insights from our honorary chairman.
09:07Now we are going to have...
09:09a 20-minute intermission for refreshments.
09:14Now that that's over with, I'll make our excuses...
09:17and we'll get the hell out of here.
09:19I just arrived.
09:21Wait for me in the hall.
09:23People will try to keep you here.
09:25Don't let them.
09:28Now, hold on, partner.
09:30Set a spell. Let's jump.
09:32Uh, men's room. I have to get to the men's room.
09:35Congressman Bishop, you can call me Orrin.
09:37I'll be delighted to call you a great many things...
09:39just as soon as I get back.
09:41What are you doing here, Steele?
09:43I'm the honorary chairman of this committee.
09:45Well, I know that, but I mean...
09:47to be honest with you, Mr. Steele...
09:49I don't know what I'm doing here.
09:51I'm the honorary chairman of this committee.
09:53Well, I know that, but I mean...
09:55What are you really doing here?
09:57Trying to get to the men's room.
09:59I have a vested interest in this committee.
10:01So if there's something here...
10:03that requires your professional expertise...
10:05I got a right to know what it is.
10:07I'm sorry to disappoint you, Congressman...
10:09but the only reason I'm here...
10:11is to give your bird a fighting chance.
10:13Excuse me. Thank you.
10:15What did he want?
10:17He wanted to know what I was doing here.
10:19Did you tell him?
10:21Apparently, I don't know.
10:23Time enough for that. We've got to get out of here.
10:31I apologize for all this cloak-and-dagger stuff...
10:33but if the committee knew Dr. Maxwell was missing...
10:35it would jeopardize the entire project.
10:37When did you last hear from him?
10:39A week ago. He called from Lake Solitude.
10:41He was making his final inspection...
10:43of the Eagle Sanctuary.
10:45Did he get in touch with you after that?
10:47I never spoke to Dr. Maxwell.
10:49Well, then, did he send you something?
10:51Some material about our committee?
10:53Not that I'm aware of.
10:55Perhaps it was mislaid.
10:57My staff's very good about those things.
10:59If Dr. Maxwell sent me something, I'm sure I would have seen it.
11:01Oh.
11:05What do you think happened to him?
11:07I don't know.
11:09It would take something horrendous to keep him from giving his report.
11:11His whole life is dedicated...
11:13to the protection of those poor creatures.
11:17May I ask you an impertinent question, Mrs. Stanton?
11:21Yes.
11:23What is my life dedicated to?
11:27While finding an appropriate home for the bald eagle...
11:29is certainly a noble endeavor...
11:31I find it difficult to believe...
11:33it occupies your every waking hour.
11:37I know what you're thinking, Mr. Steele.
11:39Spoiled, pampered, incredibly wealthy young woman...
11:41dabbles in good deeds to fill the time...
11:43between shopping sprees, world tours...
11:45and endless parties.
11:47That's not what it's like at all.
11:49The money Willis left me has been a burden...
11:51more than a blessing.
11:53I was Willis's third wife...
11:5525 years his junior.
11:57It was a brief marriage. He was not a well man.
11:59And I woke one morning to discover...
12:01that I was worth...
12:03conservatively...
12:05$140 million.
12:09A lot of bubbles in $140 million, huh?
12:11Quite a few.
12:13You'd be surprised...
12:15how quickly a proposal of marriage...
12:17can get you that information, Mr. Steele.
12:19You have no idea...
12:21how lonely that can make a woman.
12:23How terribly lonely.
12:25You poor thing.
13:03There's a key in the flowerpot.
13:05In certain circles, this could be construed...
13:07as breaking and entering.
13:09Amos and I are old friends. How do you think I know where the key is?
13:11No key.
13:13There has to be. It's always there.
13:15Well, I suppose we'll have to find another way in.
13:17That's definitely breaking and entering.
13:19He could be so ill he can't even answer the door.
13:21You have a credit card?
13:23My name is my credit card, Mr. Steele.
13:25May I?
13:31So reassuring to have you by my side.
13:45See, I was right.
13:47Something has happened.
14:01Mrs. Stanton?
14:03What does Amos look like?
14:05About early 50s.
14:07Yes?
14:09Just round hair with a touch of gray.
14:11Go on.
14:13Brown eyes.
14:17Yes?
14:19Oh, and a scraggly mustache.
14:25I think we just found Dr. Maxwell.
14:27Where?
14:29In the tub, soaking.
14:43Where is he?
14:45Hasn't come in yet.
14:47That idiot.
14:49How dare he say Amos Maxwell's death was murder
14:51when the police, the coroner, and Mrs. Stanton herself
14:53all agree it was an accident?
14:55Where is he?
14:57If you mean Mr. Steele.
14:59That idiot.
15:01How dare he say that Amos Maxwell's death was murder?
15:03Remington Steele has one of the finest criminal minds.
15:07One of the finest minds in criminology.
15:09And if he claims it,
15:11then he's...
15:13He put his foot in it again, didn't he?
15:15Uh, Murphy, this gentleman is here to see Mr.
15:17Congressman Bishop.
15:19I'm a great admirer of your work, sir.
15:21You know Congressman Bishop is one of the great environmentalists of the country.
15:23Normally I would be delighted to hear from a satisfied constituent,
15:25but right now I have more pressing priorities.
15:27Then perhaps we could discuss them in Mr. Steele's office?
15:29Bye.
15:31Murphy?
15:33Right this way, sir.
15:35Find him.
15:37Fast.
15:39Doesn't Steele know what an honorary chairman does?
15:41Shakes a few hands,
15:43smiles a lot,
15:45and gets his picture taken.
15:47He doesn't stick his nose in committee business
15:49or people's bathtubs.
15:51Now if Amos Maxwell wanted to get pie-eyed
15:53and deep-six himself,
15:55well, that's his prerogative.
15:57Did he have a history of drinking?
15:59How the hell should I know?
16:01He was hired to determine if my land was hospitable
16:03for the bald eagle.
16:05Now you say you admire my work?
16:07Very much.
16:09Then you know I'm right for all sorts of potshots
16:11from the polluters, right?
16:13The strip miners, the woodchoppers.
16:15They're just waiting for me to slip up.
16:17What does this have to do
16:19with Amos Maxwell's death?
16:21I have agreed to sell my land
16:23as a sanctuary for the bald eagle.
16:25Considerably below market value,
16:27I might add.
16:29Now if Amos Maxwell was murdered
16:31the day before he was to report his findings,
16:33well, that casts a cloud over the entire project.
16:35So unless Steele has some tangible evidence,
16:37some solid proof that he was murdered,
16:39I want a public retraction.
16:41At least as prominent as his accusation.
16:57Is Mr. Steele in?
16:59What are you doing here?
17:01I imagine the same thing you are.
17:03Mrs. Thoreau, is there any truth
17:05to these charges that Steele's slinging around?
17:07None whatsoever.
17:09Then you better see to it they're put to rest,
17:11or you can find yourself another piece of property
17:13for your damn birds.
17:15Don't threaten me, you side-saddle Thoreau.
17:17Stop defecting that silly accent.
17:19Thinks it makes him sound like a man of the soil.
17:21Actually, he went to Harvard Business School.
17:23You can be as amusing
17:25as you wish, Mrs. Stanton.
17:27But just you remember,
17:29you got a whole lot more to lose than I have.
17:33Is Mr. Steele in?
17:35Not yet. I'm his associate, Laura Holt.
17:37Oh.
17:39This is Murphy Michaels, Bernice Fox.
17:41Perhaps I can help you.
17:43I hope so.
17:45No answer at his apartment.
17:47The limo's in the garage,
17:49and I'm running out of numbers to call.
17:51We're detectives, for heaven's sakes.
17:53The least we can do is find the head of our own agency.
17:59What a wonderfully neat desk.
18:01My husband often said the mark of a truly great executive
18:03is a totally clean desk.
18:05They never leave until every last scrap
18:07has been cleared away.
18:09Yes. Yes, Mr. Steele to a tee.
18:11First one to arrive, last one to leave.
18:13In fact,
18:15sometimes he's so diligent,
18:17we don't even see him.
18:19Has he shared his thoughts with you
18:21about Dr. Maxwell's death?
18:23Uh, not as fully as I'd like.
18:25First he said it was a tragic accident.
18:27What changed his mind?
18:29I've no idea.
18:31After the press arrived, he began saying all sorts of strange things.
18:33Such as?
18:35Murder Most Foul,
18:37Margaret Rutherford, MGM 1964.
18:39Do you know what any of this means, Miss Holt?
18:41Uh, Mr. Steele often speaks in a code.
18:45Who is this Margaret Rutherford?
18:47Is she a suspect?
18:49We'd best wait for Mr. Steele to clarify that.
18:51I just hate to have any of this negative publicity
18:53undermine the committee's work.
18:55If Mr. Steele is correct,
18:57and Dr. Maxwell's death wasn't an accident,
18:59could it be related to what he was doing for your committee?
19:01I can't see how.
19:03It was very cut and dried.
19:05But then you already know that.
19:07I do?
19:09He said he was going to send some material to Mr. Steele
19:11about our aims, our objectives,
19:13his findings.
19:15We never received anything.
19:17Perhaps he sent it directly to Mr. Steele's home.
19:19I'll check.
19:21Probably wasn't anything important,
19:23just routine literature.
19:25If anything turns up, I'll let you know.
19:29Mr. Steele is very fortunate to have someone like you.
19:35Come on!
19:37Open up!
19:39You know, for once, I'd like to kick the door in,
19:41see the wood splinter in a thousand different pieces.
19:43We'd only wind up paying for the damage.
19:45I know.
19:47It really burns me when you have to stand up for that guy,
19:49you know?
19:51What else do you expect me to do?
19:53Admit to Bishop and Mrs. Stanton
19:55that, yes, he's a fraud, and that, no,
19:57Margaret Rutherford isn't a suspect.
19:59She's an old English character actress.
20:09This is as hard for me to say as it is for you to hear.
20:13But do you think our Mr. Steele
20:15has actually stumbled onto something here?
20:17Either that or something else.
20:19I think it's time we stopped apologizing for him
20:21and started taking him seriously.
20:23You're right.
20:25I'll get a copy of Maxwell's autopsy report right away.
20:27And dig up everything you can on Grace Stanton.
20:33Murphy,
20:35you don't think he's in any kind of trouble, do you?
20:37I don't think he's in any kind of trouble.
20:39I don't think he's in any kind of trouble.
20:41I don't think he's in any kind of trouble.
20:43I don't think he's in any kind of trouble.
20:45I don't think he's in any kind of trouble.
20:47You don't think he's in any kind of danger, do you?
20:49You don't think he's in any kind of danger, do you?
20:51No.
20:53If there's one thing I learned about him,
20:55he can take care of himself.
20:57Oh!
21:11I hope Vernon wasn't too exuberant
21:13in requesting your presence.
21:15He managed to drive the point home.
21:19Chateau Lafitte Rothschild, 1945.
21:21Chateau Lafitte Rothschild, 1945.
21:23Please, Mr. Steele.
21:25Please, Mr. Steele.
21:27Shall I pretend I don't know who you are?
21:29Doesn't it really matter?
21:31Instant recognition.
21:33That's the price one pays
21:35for having his picture in so many places.
21:37Most men would be delighted
21:39to make the cover of Time, Mr. Swan.
21:41Not as the world's number one swindler, Mr. Steele.
21:43Although I do think
21:45the authorities were rather harsh on me.
21:47It wasn't completely my fault
21:49that my conglomerate collapsed.
21:51I simply borrowed more than I could repay.
21:53And kept it for yourself.
21:55Three years in prison
21:57more than compensated for that slight lapse.
21:59I sing a mournful tune, Mr. Steele.
22:01Back taxes, as I remember.
22:03Quite a bundle.
22:05I'm currently negotiating payment
22:07at 50 cents on the dollar,
22:09but unless you can help me,
22:11I'm afraid I'm going to need funds.
22:13You didn't bring me here to ask for a contribution.
22:15On the contrary.
22:17I'm in the market for something.
22:19A certain item
22:21I'm convinced you possess.
22:23Really?
22:25I know you're involved with Grace Stanton.
22:27Tell me,
22:29have you succumbed
22:31to her considerable charms
22:33or are you still your own man?
22:35Always my own man, Mr. Swan.
22:37Always.
22:39What would you say this is?
22:41A worthless blob?
22:43A lump of clay?
22:45I'd say it was an uncut,
22:47unpolished diamond.
22:49By God, sir!
22:51That is remarkable.
22:53There aren't two men in 50,000
22:55who would know that.
22:57I've been robbed in half the cities of the world
22:59and no one looked at this twice.
23:01Does this have anything to do with Grace Stanton?
23:03It does, sir.
23:05It represents what she was when I first met her.
23:07A dull, lumpish teenager
23:09with a bad complexion and dirty hair.
23:11Well, sir,
23:13I discerned a diamond
23:15in that lump.
23:17I cut it, polished it,
23:19made it possible for her to one day become
23:21Mrs. Willis Stanton.
23:23But somewhere in her journey
23:25toward that exalted position
23:27she acquired other, less lustrous traits.
23:29She became an accomplished liar,
23:31a scheming, treacherous woman
23:33not to be trusted.
23:35About the item.
23:37I'm prepared to pay $10,000
23:39for its return
23:41no questions asked
23:43or answered.
23:47Ah, cautiously, Mr. Steele.
23:49Vernon enjoys a moving target.
23:51Brings out the sportsman in him.
23:53Would this item
23:55have anything to do with Dr. Amos Maxwell's death?
23:57Since I don't know the gentleman,
23:59I'll dispense with the customary insincerity
24:01over his passing.
24:03He must be interested in the contents of his house.
24:05Turned it upside down, searching for something.
24:07Are you saying you don't have it?
24:09Not at all, no. I was just wondering
24:11who else was interested in it.
24:13Don't be too clever for your own good, sir.
24:15Cleverness will get you nothing.
24:17Honor's greed will bring you $20,000.
24:19Make it $25,000.
24:21I like doing business
24:23with a man who likes doing business.
24:25Tomorrow, Mr. Steele.
24:27I shall need it by tomorrow.
24:29Vernon will be in Dutch.
24:31My apologies.
24:33One final indignity.
24:35Oh!
25:01Where have you been?
25:03Nora, I've had the most incredible night.
25:05So have I.
25:07Calling the hospital every 15 minutes,
25:09checking morgues.
25:11Nora, I'm touched by your concern.
25:13Why shouldn't I be concerned?
25:15You're a very valuable investment.
25:17Don't think I've spent all this time
25:19transforming you into Remington Steele
25:21only to lose you.
25:23What happened to your head?
25:25I got sapped by some weasel named Vernon.
25:27Sapped?
25:29Forty's jargon for slug.
25:31It bashed about.
25:33Where were you?
25:35In a scene right out of the Maltese Fork.
25:37And there I was, confronting
25:39the very incarnation of Caspar Gutman.
25:41I, of course, was Sam Spare,
25:43the slightly shady Seamus.
25:45And we were actually dickering for the dinkers.
25:47Only he called it an item.
25:49Who called what an item?
25:51Harry Swan, the fugitive from the IRS.
25:53Attempting to buy his way into the country
25:55by paying off his back taxes.
25:57Apparently Mr. Swan isn't the only one
25:59looking for something.
26:01Grace Stanton came to the office
26:03ostensibly to see you,
26:05but she was really after some material
26:07Amos Maxwell sent you.
26:09She's our Bridget O'Shaughnessy.
26:11And whatever Maxwell sent is the item.
26:13Now all we have to do is figure out
26:15what the item is and who sent it.
26:17This is shaping into a first-rate case, Laura.
26:19And I must say,
26:21it's much more fun being Sam Spare
26:23than Remington Steele.
26:25Steele is so boringly honest,
26:27such a paragon of integrity.
26:29Spade, on the other hand,
26:31is far more interesting.
26:33A hard, shifty man,
26:35able to take care of himself in any situation.
26:37Well, you certainly
26:39emulated Mr. Spade in that respect.
26:41Oh, ouch!
26:45Steele here.
26:47Finally turned up, eh?
26:49Thank you, Miss Wolfe.
26:51For what?
26:53I'm afraid.
26:55Yeah, sure. Is Laura there?
26:57Miss Wolfe.
26:59She's beside herself with joy at my return.
27:01Yes, Bernice.
27:03Think you better get over here.
27:05I'm sitting on something very interesting.
27:07On my way.
27:09Get some rest.
27:11Aren't we gonna talk about the case,
27:13formulate a plan, ferret out the item?
27:15Later. Put something on that
27:17so you don't get infected.
27:19Laura, you look lovely in the morning.
27:33If the rest of the place is worse,
27:35it'll take days before we know what they're after.
27:37I think I know what they were after.
27:39What?
27:41The item.
27:43What item?
27:45The one they killed Amos Maxwell for.
27:47You mean Remington Steele
27:49actually knew what he was talking about?
27:51It's very scary, isn't it?
27:55I'm not meaning to stampede you fine folks,
27:57but I'm due back in Washington next week.
27:59I move we purchase the Lake Solitude property
28:01at the price agreed upon.
28:03But, Grace dear, I don't see how we can.
28:05We have not seen Dr. Maxwell's report.
28:07I spoke to him the day before his accident.
28:09He told me he found Congressman Bishop's land
28:11ideal for an eagle sanctuary.
28:13But if we are considering
28:15an expenditure of well over a million dollars,
28:17we shall proceed with the utmost caution.
28:19This is unfair to Congressman Bishop.
28:21He deserves an answer, and now.
28:23Uh, move the question.
28:25Well, all right.
28:27All those in favor
28:29of purchasing Congressman Bishop's land
28:31at Lake Solitude,
28:33please signify by raising...
28:35As your honorary chairman,
28:37could I have your indulgence for a few words?
28:39We'd be delighted, Mr. Steele.
28:41This meeting reminds me of the legend
28:43of the apes of Gibraltar.
28:45The apes of Gibraltar?
28:47The legend of the apes of Gibraltar.
28:49What?
28:51Madam Chairlady, is he speaking to the question?
28:53Legend states that if the apes
28:55were ever to leave Gibraltar,
28:57it would mark the end of British sovereignty.
28:59And I suggest to you
29:01that the disappearance of the American eagle
29:03could well mark
29:05the end of this great nation.
29:07Without that majestic creature,
29:09what would happen
29:11to our sense of direction?
29:13Our feeling of pride?
29:15Our commitment to duty?
29:19And what will we tell our children
29:21when they ask
29:23with bright, innocent eyes,
29:27what's a bald eagle, Mommy?
29:29Oh!
29:33In order to give us time
29:35to find the answer,
29:37I move we adjourn.
29:39A motion to adjourn
29:41takes precedence and cannot be debated.
29:43The meeting is adjourned.
29:45We have a motion on the floor.
29:47I'm helpless, Grace.
29:49Dare Robert's rules of order and all that.
29:51You don't understand.
29:55I know a filibuster when I hear one.
29:57What in the hell are you up to?
29:59I wonder whatever happened to Dr. Maxwell's report.
30:01Maybe it got lost in the mail.
30:03Maybe. Maybe he never finished it.
30:05What would you say if I told you I had the item?
30:07Maxwell's report?
30:09I'd say it was your duty
30:11to turn it over to Mrs. Stanton
30:13so the committee could make its decision.
30:15I've already had an offer of $25,000 for it.
30:17You wouldn't care to get in on the bidding,
30:19would you, Congressman?
30:21I'd always heard that Remington Steele
30:23was a man of integrity.
30:25But this sounds like a cheap shakedown to me.
30:27There's nothing cheap
30:29about $25,000.
30:31Enjoy your last days
30:33as a private investigator, Mr. Steele,
30:35because I'm going to have
30:37your license lifted.
30:39You've got until Tuesday.
30:41Unless this situation is resolved by then,
30:43it's off.
30:45Everything's off!
30:51Congratulations.
30:53In a few minutes, you've managed to destroy
30:55what's taken months to achieve.
30:57Get out!
30:59Not so fast, sister.
31:01You've been pulling me along after you
31:03from the very beginning.
31:05You arranged for me to be on this committee.
31:07You told me I'd crossed you up, but I didn't say it was an accident.
31:09It was an accident!
31:11Then why was my apartment turned inside out?
31:13Why was I snatched at gunpoint?
31:15May I ask you a question?
31:17Shoot.
31:19Why are you talking like that?
31:21Because I'm angry.
31:23I want to know why Dr. Maxwell's report was worth $25,000.
31:25Who offered you $25,000?
31:27Harry Swan.
31:29That's an attractive color you're wearing,
31:31Mrs. Stanton. Ashen, I believe.
31:33How do you know Harry Swan?
31:35He's one of my buddies.
31:37What did he tell you?
31:39First, he told me that you were an accomplished liar,
31:41a treacherous, scheming woman not to be trusted.
31:43Then he said he'd known you since you were a teenager.
31:45Mr. Steele, help me.
31:47I'm so frightened, so terribly frightened.
31:49Of Swan?
31:51You don't know him like I do.
31:53It's true. I lived with him from the time I was 16
31:55until I was 19.
31:57It's not an interlude I'm proud of.
31:59But now that Willis is gone,
32:01he wants to come back into my life.
32:03I don't want him. I'm repulsed by him.
32:05What's that got to do with Maxwell's report?
32:07He knows how important it is to me,
32:09how desperately I need it.
32:11Another survey would take months.
32:13We'd lose Bishop's land,
32:15have to start all over again,
32:17perhaps even return the funds we've already collected.
32:19But if Swan has the report,
32:21he knows I'll have to come to him.
32:23He'll have me
32:25exactly where he wants me,
32:27in his debt.
32:29Oh, Mr. Steele, I'm so afraid.
32:31For all his polish,
32:33he's a hideously brutal man.
32:35If it's the money you want,
32:37I'll outbid Swan.
32:39But I have
32:41so much more to offer.
32:51Glad you do, Mrs. Stanton.
32:53Glad you do.
33:01Ah.
33:15I don't know how he did it.
33:17Who? Bogart.
33:19He rolled his own cigarettes in the Maltese Falcon.
33:21Don't you think you're carrying
33:23this Sam Spade thing a bit far?
33:25He worked splendidly with Grace Stanton.
33:27A few moments with that tough, devious dick,
33:29and now she wants to purchase Maxwell's report.
33:31With what?
33:33She's worth $140 million,
33:35conservatively speaking.
33:37Murphy found out it's all tied up in trust funds.
33:39She has to get permission
33:41before she can spend $500 on anything.
33:43That's why she was so accommodating.
33:45I guess I owe you an apology.
33:47Really? Huh.
33:49Laura, this is a seminal turn in our relationship.
33:51Usually the apologies run the other way.
33:53Well, Maxwell was murdered,
33:55only not in his bathtub.
33:57The autopsy revealed stream water in his lungs
33:59containing small traces of DDT.
34:01He was doing an ecological survey
34:03up at that Eagle Sanctuary.
34:05Maybe he was killed up there.
34:07Then we should be going to Lake Solitude.
34:09We are.
34:11Ah. Good thinking, Laura.
34:13What should I do about the car that's following us?
34:15What car?
34:17The blue Ford.
34:19It's been with us since we left the agency.
34:21Shank it, friend.
34:23Oh, my goodness.
34:41It seems we've lost our tail.
34:43Excellent work, Fred.
34:45Actually, it turned into a gas station
34:47about two miles back, sir.
34:49Still, you handled this baby beautifully.
34:51You're not going to try this again, are you?
34:53No. Smokey's bad for you anyway.
34:55But I was wondering,
34:57what do you think I'd look like in a fedora?
35:07What is it, Fred?
35:09Flat, sir.
35:11Ah.
35:13Hmm.
35:21Anybody there?
35:29Uh, excuse me.
35:31Our car seems to have developed a few flats.
35:33Could you send someone to fix it?
35:35Not for three, four hours.
35:39Is there anything we could borrow?
35:41Nope. Rent?
35:43I got an old jeep.
35:45Wouldn't know what to do with it.
35:48It's a jeep.
35:50Wouldn't know what to charge for it.
35:52Well, what about...
35:5430 bucks a day, 15 cents a mile.
35:56You pay the gas and any damage to the vehicle.
36:00There's a great deal of glass on the road back there.
36:02Perhaps someone should clean it up.
36:04I'll lend you a broom.
36:08Isn't this invigorating?
36:10Crisp mountain air, clear blue skies,
36:12and God's green earth below us.
36:14You're going a little fast.
36:17Pump the brakes!
36:19I'm pumping! I'm pumping!
36:21Pump it!
36:23You've got a downshift! Downshift!
36:25Don't freak me, Nora. It's affecting my concentration.
36:30The edge!
36:32You're getting too close to the edge!
36:37Jump!
36:39Are you crazy? We could be killed!
36:46Are you all right?
36:48Say something.
36:50You can't talk groan.
36:52The big sleep.
36:54Humphrey Bogart, Lauren Bacall, Warner Brothers, 1946.
36:57Good God, you're babbling.
36:59Tacks were deliberately strewn across the road,
37:01giving Bogart two flat tires
37:03and sending them to Art Huck's garage
37:05where Canina was lying in wait.
37:07Must be a concussion.
37:09Nora, that glass was placed in the road
37:11so we'd be forced to rent that death trap from friendly Fritz.
37:16Come on!
37:18Someone doesn't want us to reach Lake Solitude.
37:28Small puncture in the brake fluid container.
37:31That's why whoever followed us in the Ford
37:33turned into that gas station
37:35to call ahead and set the whole thing up.
37:41Come on. We'll hitchhike our way to Lake Solitude.
37:46Come on.
38:00We're in luck.
38:02How do you figure that?
38:04It's all downhill.
38:16Come on.
38:46Closing in eight minutes, folks.
38:49We'd like the plat book for the Southeastern Valley.
38:52Excuse me.
39:02Index in the front.
39:05Listed by section.
39:16Number seven.
39:18Turn out.
39:20No, no, no.
39:26Chinatown.
39:28I, too, attend an occasional movie.
39:31Is there another book like this one?
39:33Of course not.
39:35Page has been torn up.
39:39Never happened before that damn movie.
39:42Do you remember a gentleman in his early 50s,
39:45brown hair, slightly grayish, brown eyes,
39:47scraggly mustache?
39:49Uh-uh.
39:51How about a woman in her early 30s,
39:53tall, blonde, hazel eyes,
39:55some might call moderately attractive?
39:58Jackpot.
40:00She asked for the same plat book you folks did.
40:03Hmm.
40:06Leave everything to me, Precious.
40:08Before I'm through, I'll have that little twist
40:10singing like a canary.
40:20Oh, Miss Holt.
40:22Mr. Steele, so pleased to see you.
40:24When was the last time you were on Lake Solitude?
40:26I don't know. You?
40:28I don't know.
40:30I don't know.
40:32When was the last time you were on Lake Solitude?
40:34I don't know. Years ago.
40:36You seem to have a lot of trouble with dates.
40:38You told me you hadn't heard from Dr. Maxwell for over a week.
40:40But you told the finance committee you spoke to him the day before he died.
40:42Now you tell us you haven't been to Lake Solitude in years.
40:45Only the clerk of the Hall of Reperts
40:47said you were there three days ago.
40:49Ah, Sister, I want answers, and I want them fast.
40:51I don't have to tell you anything,
40:53so in the parlance of the street, shove it.
40:55I apologize for Mr. Steele.
40:57Sometimes he forgets who he is.
40:59I don't know what he's accusing me of or why.
41:01We're really here to help you, Mrs. Stanton.
41:03I'm sure you had a compelling reason
41:05for tearing that page out of the Platt book.
41:07You're going to have to answer sooner or later.
41:09I doubt the police will be as understanding as we are.
41:15It was Swann.
41:17Harry Swann.
41:19He told you I lived with him?
41:21Well, he left at the best part.
41:23I was married to the bum.
41:25You were Mrs. Harry Swann?
41:27I still am.
41:29He promised to get a divorce.
41:31Only now he says he never got around to it.
41:33It slipped his mind.
41:35Then you were never legally married to Willis Stanton.
41:39No marriage, no 140 million.
41:42Swann was willing to keep silent
41:44in exchange for the money he needed
41:46to pay off his back taxes.
41:48He was going to get it
41:50from the sale of the land as an eagle sanctuary.
41:52But I thought Bishop owned that land.
41:54I sold it to him.
41:56And your name was in the Platt book
41:58as the previous owner.
42:00How would it look if I sold the committee my own land?
42:03Why would Bishop front for Swann?
42:05I don't know.
42:07But you do know why Dr. Maxwell was murdered.
42:10He discovered that I sold the land to Bishop,
42:13threatened to dig deeper,
42:15expose the entire charity as a fraud.
42:17Then you killed him.
42:19Of course not. It was Swann.
42:21He'd never get back into the country without the money.
42:23Why is everybody so anxious
42:25to get their hands on the Maxwell report?
42:27The committee won't purchase the land without it.
42:30Then I take it you're still interested in it.
42:33Do you have it?
42:35No, but I know where I can put my hands on it.
42:38What do you mean you know
42:40where you can put your hands on Maxwell's report?
42:42He sent it to you.
42:44When?
42:46Don't you remember?
42:48Grace told us both he sent you some material.
42:50Obviously it was his report.
42:52But we never received it.
42:54Didn't we?
42:56You better hope Vernon has the day off when they find out.
42:58If we do it right, they won't.
43:00You're good. You're very good.
43:02Thank you. But when this is over,
43:04I would like the Sam Spade retired permanently.
43:07Oh, but he's so colorful.
43:09The dialogue just seems to flow right out of me.
43:11If you can't eliminate the flow,
43:13the least you can do is cut it down to a trickle.
43:19The front door key.
43:21The murderer must have put it down there
43:23and forgot to return it to the flowerpot.
43:25That's well a piece of work, Sam.
43:27Thanks, Angel.
43:29You just managed to smudge any worthwhile prints.
43:31Oh.
43:35Excuse me.
43:37I believe the last bid
43:39was for $25,000
43:41from Mr. Swan.
43:45Do I hear $30,000?
43:47I have no intention of bidding for something
43:49that rightfully belongs to the committee.
43:51That envelope contains more than Dr. Maxwell's report.
43:54It holds the motive for his murder.
43:56Which was?
43:58He found something very damaging at Lake Solitude.
44:00And if the committee didn't purchase
44:02that particular piece of property,
44:04then there was no way Grace could help you
44:06buy your way back into the country.
44:08And if Swan wasn't paid off,
44:10he would certainly tell about your marriage.
44:12You're the only odd player in this mix, Congressman.
44:14Why would a man of such lofty ideals
44:16want to become a front
44:18for someone as distasteful as Harry Swan?
44:20Uh, no offense, Mr. Swan.
44:22I find you quite charming.
44:24I was only looking
44:26for a refuge for those birds.
44:28Now, how we got it was of little moment.
44:30Well, someone's gonna have to
44:32take the fall for Maxwell's death.
44:34Is that necessary, sir?
44:36Afraid so. The cops get awfully finicky
44:38when it comes to murder.
44:40They won't stop digging until they come up with someone.
44:42Let's give him the gunzle.
44:44Attractive car you have there, Vernon.
44:46Notice it when you drove up.
44:48Blue always looks good in a Ford.
44:50Try to get Precious and me knocked off
44:52with the help of friendly Fritz from the garage.
44:54That's attempted murder right there.
44:56It's only a short hop from the real thing.
44:58Out of the question, sir.
45:00Why? He's perfect.
45:02Perhaps, but Vernon has the only gun in the room.
45:08Hm.
45:10No offense, Vernon.
45:12It's all meant as a compliment.
45:14Well, if it wasn't my good friend Vernon there,
45:16who shall it be?
45:18I'd like to throw something into the pot, sir.
45:20Oh, be my guest.
45:22The congressman was secretly representing me
45:24to the I.R.S.
45:26in exchange for a, uh,
45:28generous campaign contribution.
45:30He's planning to run for the Senate.
45:32There's nothing illegal about that.
45:34It's done every day.
45:36And the people that I'm trying to stop
45:38happen to be the biggest contributors
45:40to political campaigns.
45:42I gotta take my money where I can get it.
45:44Whoever killed Dr. Maxwell did it at Lake Solitude.
45:46The autopsy disclosed
45:48stream water in his lungs
45:50accompanied with minute traces of DDT.
45:52DDT. That's it.
45:54What?
45:56The reason Maxwell was killed.
45:58DDT?
46:00That book you gave me, Laura.
46:02It said one of the major reasons for the bald eagle dying out
46:04was the indiscriminate use of DDT.
46:06It weakens the eggshells so they can't hatch properly.
46:08And you thought I never did my homework.
46:10Tell me, congressman,
46:12how many votes do you think that would get you?
46:14Dr. Maxwell's conservation is selling
46:16chemically infested land for a wildlife preserve.
46:18You got a lot of bark, lady,
46:20but no bite.
46:22The killer drove the body back here,
46:24entered the house using the key
46:26Maxwell always kept in the flowerpot outside.
46:28And since there are no scuff marks on the carpet,
46:30that effectively clears grace.
46:32Obviously, she couldn't carry Dr. Maxwell,
46:34especially a waterlogged Dr. Maxwell.
46:38It also exonerates
46:40Mr. Swan and my old pal Vernon.
46:42They weren't acquainted with Dr. Maxwell
46:44and his idiosyncrasies well enough to know
46:46that he kept his front door key in a flowerpot.
46:50Tell me, congressman,
46:52would you like to bet your life
46:54that this key holds your fingerprints?
47:12A head start, sir.
47:14Say, enough time to reach the Mexican border.
47:16In that case,
47:18the shortest farewell to the best
47:20had you, Mrs. Stanton.
47:22Come, Vernon, let's burn rubber.
47:28If they catch him, he'll tell them we're still married.
47:30It's not so bad being poor, Grace.
47:32They say it builds character.
47:34Doesn't it?
47:36Here it is,
47:38Amos Maxwell's report.
47:40Return to post office.
47:42Zip code incorrect.
47:44Don't they know where I live by now?
47:46Here's one from Grace Stanton,
47:48marked personal.
47:50Nice.
47:58Check for $25,000.
48:00Post dated five years.
48:02Check for $25,000.
48:04Post dated five years hence.
48:08Way to ensure our silence.
48:10When would Sam Spade
48:12do in a situation like this?
48:14Back to that again, are we?
48:16You know, you're disturbingly convincing
48:18as a slightly shiny Seamus.
48:20A role I was born to play,
48:22but I suppose it's time to put
48:24the trappings of artifice aside
48:26and return to the real me.
48:28Remington Steel.
48:30Adieu, Sam.
49:00© transcript Emily Beynon