• 3 months ago

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00Where are you? Where are you? My lovely little niece, my pretty niece, my budding little
00:28niece, Miss Integra Fairbrook Wingates Helsing, the grand successor to the Helsing Organization.
00:36Oh, my poor little lost Integra. I wish I could help you understand. Twenty years, twenty
00:45years of waiting for my brother, your father, to die, and then mere hours before his death
00:50he chooses you to succeed him as head of the family. This insult against me I cannot accept.
00:57I will never accept. What an unforgivable act of betrayal. Helsing is mine!
01:05Integra, if the time should ever come, when all other hope is lost, if you should find
01:14yourself surrounded with your enemies closing in, go to the last cell of the deepest dungeon
01:21of the estate. There lies one of the Helsing family's darkest legacies. It will be the
01:29instrument of your salvation.
01:45How can this corpse be my salvation?
01:52There you are, my Fraulein.
02:06Uncle!
02:07Something on your mind, my little Fraulein?
02:11Are you really so desperate to claim the family title that you'd actually be willing to...
02:17What an astute observation, Integra.
02:21Ha ha ha...
02:51The corpse! The corpse!
03:21The corpse!
03:51The corpse!
04:22Ugh!
04:27Bastards!
04:40What? Are you really serious?
04:51I'm sorry, but could you perhaps repeat yourself one more time?
04:56Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Helsing, is it?
05:01Very well. I'll start again.
05:04They're ghouls, and the village of Cheddar has become a den of ghouls.
05:10A ghoul is what happens to deflowered humans when they're bitten by a vampire.
05:15They're much like zombies under the control of a vampire.
05:22And that means there's a vampire somewhere in Cheddar.
05:27Hmph. That's ridiculous.
05:30Vampires? Do you really expect me to believe this occult nonsense?
05:36Why on earth would a cheap bureaucrat like yourself know anything on the matter?
05:41How dare you even question my credentials?
05:43The Helsing Organization has been defending the British Empire from such monsters for generations.
05:49I will illuminate.
05:51The Helsing Organization is a special operations agency charged by Her Majesty
05:56with the duty of finding and eradicating all supernatural and satanic threats to the Church and Crown.
06:06There's a vampire in Cheddar that's controlling the ghouls.
06:09A monster from the pits of hell.
06:12Send in all the troops you wish.
06:14Send every last man under your command.
06:17They'll end up little more than a few.
06:20Or they may suffer a worse fate
06:23when a vampire drinks from a virgin of the opposite sex a new vampire's pit.
06:28Otherwise, your people become food and then join the vampire's unholy legion of ghouls.
06:38Sir, I've completely lost radio contact with squads two and three.
06:42Bollocks.
06:44What's going on?
06:47Come in!
06:51If you are to stop the ghouls from further multiplying,
06:54you're going to have to terminate that vampire at the source.
06:59And this is where Helsing comes in.
07:02We will take care of your vampire.
07:04That's insane.
07:06I can assure you, gentlemen, that one of our finest anti-vampire field agents is already en route to Cheddar.
07:13This will be settled in a matter of hours.
07:17What sort of agent would handle this?
07:21When dealing with monsters, vampires especially,
07:27I promise there is no greater expert walking this earth.
07:33How beautiful.
07:35Nights like this make me want to have a bite to drink.
07:39Yes, I couldn't imagine more perfect.
08:10Ah!
08:17There's no use running.
08:29Guns won't help you either.
08:32Eddie? Simon?
08:35That's right.
08:36Your little boyfriends belong to me now.
08:39And soon you'll belong to me too.
08:47I look for loyalty in my servants.
08:50I wouldn't want a vampire with free will running around.
08:54Pity I can't find a virgin as lovely as you.
08:59I'm going to violate you.
09:01I'm going to drain your blood, slowly.
09:04Then you will join with the rest of my ghouls.
09:07My slave for eternity.
09:25Hmm.
09:38Who the hell are you?
09:40Your death.
09:41My death?
09:43Oh really?
09:44My god.
09:46This is pathetic.
09:50Kill him.
09:54Kill him.
10:24Is that the best you've got?
10:55Your agents are vampire?
10:57Correct.
10:59You see, humans make poor vampire killers.
11:03They're frail, they're mortal, they're corruptible, body, mind and soul.
11:09The most effective weapon against a vampire is another, more powerful vampire.
11:15The Hellsing organization has such a feature in its menagerie.
11:20The Hellsing organization has such a feature in its menagerie.
11:24And let me assure you gentlemen, our vampire has power beyond imagination.
11:50Huh?
12:21No!
12:24No!
12:25How can he be killing them?
12:27It's those bullets!
12:35The silver cross of Manchester Cathedral was melted down to make these 13mm exploding shells.
12:43Nothing I shoot ever gets back up again.
12:51But why?
12:53Tell me!
12:55Why fight to save these pathetic humans?
13:00Don't take another step.
13:03The girl's the last survivor.
13:05Don't you want to save her?
13:07Be reasonable.
13:09I'm not asking for much.
13:11Just a bit of help.
13:13You can look the other way.
13:15Are you a virgin, my dear?
13:18What are you doing?
13:19I'm asking if you're a virgin.
13:23You bastard!
13:25Answer me!
13:26Yes, I am!
13:49No!
13:55You!
13:56You!
14:08What's your name?
14:10My master.
14:12Your father called me.
14:18Oh, God.
14:49I had to shoot through you to pierce his heart.
14:52I'm sorry, but you're dying, and there's no time left.
14:56The choice is yours.
14:58What do you want to do?
15:18Oh, God.
15:24What are you doing?
15:48What are you doing?
15:59Police girl.
16:01Tonight is truly...
16:04a beautiful night.
16:13Where...
16:14Where am I?
16:19Ah!
16:20It's a cop!
16:22A cop?
16:23A police girl!
16:40Police girl.
16:42What's it feel like to be dead?
16:45Huh?
16:47Still, the choice is all yours.
16:53To walk the path of the Dracula.
16:59Oh, God.
17:12Where am I?
17:16Uh...
17:27Police girl.
17:29How does it feel now that you're a vampire?
17:38You're too loud, police girl.
17:40I don't care if you are a vampire.
17:43You're still English. Have some manners.
17:50So I'm a vampire.
17:53Sorry, but where am I?
17:55This is our headquarters.
17:57We are called the Helsing Organization.
17:59We are the monsters that protect England from the other monsters.
18:05So you're telling me...
18:07You're saying that I'm...
18:08Given your condition, you'll be working for us from now on.
18:12We've received word of a string of vampire attacks.
18:16Go and kill the vampire, police girl.
18:26The victim's heads have been ripped off.
18:29Messages are left on the wall, written in blood.
18:34This is an offense against God and Christendom.
18:37They mock our church, our country, and Helsing itself.
18:43The target is moving north on Route 17, butchering whole households along the way.
18:48Do not leave a single freak standing!
19:08Soon both of us will have eternal life.
19:12Invincible vampires forever.
19:38You can't even defend yourself.
19:55You don't know how to change your body into mist or a bat.
19:59You can't heal any of your gunshot wounds.
20:03And now that you're out of bullets, you can't even defend yourself.
20:07You dare to call yourself Nosferatu?
20:10You disgust me.
20:32No!
21:03Your turn, police girl.
21:13Yes, sir.
21:18What are you waiting for? Do it!
21:22Sir, she's already five... no, six hundred meters away.
21:26Imagine a third eye on her forehead. Aim from there.
21:30If you shoot like a human, then you're going to miss like a human.
21:35But sir...
21:36Aim right for her heart.
21:38Don't worry, you'll put the bullet right through her.
21:42But it's so dark, and I don't have a scope.
21:50That's a human complaint.
21:52Now, it's time to make the shot like a proper vampire.
21:56It's time to make the shot like a proper vampire.
22:26What's that?
22:29It's such a big gun, yet I hardly felt any recoil at all.
22:33It's pitch black, yet I can see more clearly than in daylight.
22:36Good shooting, police girl.
22:39And now, I'm hearing voices, like some sort of telepathy.
22:44It's all too fast. What on earth am I becoming?
22:48I'm...
22:55I'm...
23:06Not yet. This is only the beginning.
23:10And there's a long road ahead of you.
23:18Too many. Far too many.
23:23Suddenly, we have far too many vampires causing trouble.
23:28Third and fourth rate vampires killing randomly, keeping us busy.
23:33Pointless, cheap, pathetic acts of barbarism.
23:38It's as if someone was trying to kill us.
23:43Cheap, pathetic acts of barbarism.
23:47It's as if someone was churning out vampires off a factory line.
23:58Now, both of you stop that.
24:00There's no fighting between friends.
24:03How do you expect to go to heaven acting like that?
24:06Sorry, father.
24:09Listen.
24:12Violence is never the right answer.
24:15Except when used against heathens and monsters.
24:22All right. I want both of you to run straight up to your rooms.
24:25Yes, father.
24:28Come on.
24:29Wait!
24:32To what do I owe this visit?
24:35What happened?
24:36I'm afraid we've been hearing a lot of bad news lately, coming from England.
24:42Yeah. They're working hard to keep everything quiet.
24:46Ah, vampires.
24:49There have recently been multiple vampire attacks within their borders.
24:54Far too many to be pure coincidence.
24:57Well, nothing wrong with that, is there?
24:59If a vampire wants to eat some Protestants, how's it our business?
25:04But there's more.
25:05Helsing. They're a problem.
25:08They've been holding a stronger front than we expected, keeping damage to a minimum.
25:15They are nothing but amateurs.
25:17Helsing is practically a kindergarten compared to us.
25:21The Catholics, the Vatican, and the Iscariots.
25:26We were fighting against the forces of darkness centuries before the Helsing Organization even existed.
25:32So why are you here?
25:34If all the trouble's over in England, then surely the English can take care of it on their own.
25:39But it's not only in England.
25:42What?
25:44There's been an attack in Ireland.
25:47Northern Ireland.
25:49A little town called Badrick.
25:52Helsing is on the move, and we will not just sit back and watch.
25:59The nerve of them. Sneaking around where they're not wanted, like they belong there.
26:04These fools are as shameless and presumptuous as ever.
26:08We will teach them to know their place, Anderson.
26:11They tread on Catholic land.
26:14This vampire is ours to destroy.
26:18We want you to deal with this before they do.
26:22And if I should run into the agents of Helsing?
26:25Just remember, we are part of God's divine instrument on Earth.
26:30We do not retreat when we are challenged by heretics.
26:33If anyone does not love the Lord Jesus Christ, let him be accursed at his coming.
26:39God save you from your fate. Amen.
26:56They're not real people. They might as well be zombie pumpkins.
27:00They're just dolls.
27:02Take aim. Just one shot and it's all over.
27:25Take aim.
27:27Police girl.
27:53When you aim, make sure to put a hole through the heart or the head.
27:57Just remember, these people did not become undead fools by choice.
28:03There's no way to cure them once they've been changed.
28:06It's for their own sake that we want them to rest as quickly as possible.
28:11Sir. Yes, sir, my master.
28:41Oh, my God.
29:10Now you're starting to understand what it is to be a vampire.
29:37Oh.
29:48Blessed remains.
30:19Oh.
30:34We are the servants of God and the messengers of his justice.
30:38We are the instruments of his divine wrath on Earth.
30:43We are called upon to cleanse his kingdom, bringing ash from the flesh of thine enemies.
30:52Praise to our Lord.
30:54Sir, a report from our Vatican intelligence officer.
30:57It reads, our fears confirmed.
30:59The Vatican Special Operations Iscariot organization is on the move.
31:04Iscariot.
31:06The Vatican Special Operations Unit.
31:09The most powerful agents the Vatican commands.
31:13Professional exorcists.
31:15Assassins trained to deal with heathens and heretics.
31:19They're working under Section 13, a black operations unit.
31:24How large a force did they send?
31:26Just one agent was deployed.
31:28The Paladin.
31:30Father Alexander Anderson.
31:34Did you say Alexander Anderson?
31:38God knows what would happen if he were to run into Alucard and the girl.
31:45I'll leave for Badrick immediately.
31:47Fetch my gun, my sword, and prepare two bodyguards.
31:51Yes, sir.
31:52Walter, I want you to keep working on the Vatican.
31:55Of course, sir.
31:58Paladin Anderson.
31:59Executioner Anderson.
32:01Bayonet Anderson.
32:02Off with its head, Anderson.
32:04Dust to dust, Anderson.
32:06Place of birth unknown, age unknown.
32:09Even his origins remain unknown.
32:11The only fact we can nail down is that he is an expert monster hunter.
32:16In much the way Alucard is our best line of supernatural defense,
32:20Anderson can reasonably be described as the finest agent Vatican Section 13 has to offer.
32:28The Paladin monster slayer.
32:31The purifier.
32:33God, I hope they haven't started killing each other yet.
32:41Beautiful moon tonight, don't you think?
32:53Your voice sounds so very lovely when you're whimpering in agony, young lady.
33:00Don't worry, though. You're not dying yet.
33:03I haven't pierced your heart.
33:06It's been a while since I've had a good hunt.
33:09I plan on enjoying this.
33:13Vatican Special Division 13.
33:16The Iscariot Organization.
33:19Right you are, you pathetic helsing dogs.
33:24And you must be Alucard.
33:26The housebroken vampire, the monster who hunts his own kind.
33:30The famous helsing family pet.
33:33What have you done with the vampire we were hunting?
33:36He's dead.
33:38Not much fun, really.
33:40I didn't even have time to enjoy it.
33:55It seems you two are the only ones left.
33:58Really?
34:25You attacked a vampire head-on in the middle of the night.
34:30You didn't even try to catch me by surprise.
34:33You're a brave man, father.
34:35But you're also a fool.
34:38Master!
34:40Don't talk.
34:42You've been stabbed with a blessed blade.
34:45Now, just...
34:54What?
35:55Amen.
35:57A regenerator.
35:59Correct.
36:01A living weapon engineered by the human race to defeat vile monsters like you.
36:37Amen.
36:40Master!
36:55Hurry! Knowing Iscariot...
36:58No, knowing Alucard, it's probably already started.
37:12That's it?
37:14This thing was Helsing's ultimate weapon?
37:17The great domesticated vampire.
37:20What a disappointment.
37:22What a disappointment?
37:24He's a joke.
37:26Bloody Protestants screw everything up.
37:33Well, after all that, she's still able to crawl away.
37:38It seems I may have underestimated my little Draculina.
37:53Oh...
38:08Master...
38:10Please, you can't do this.
38:12Dragging me into this world...
38:15Oh, never leave me.
38:17I can't do this alone.
38:23Where do you think you're going?
38:25There's no place to run.
38:27Ashes to ashes.
38:29Dust to dust.
38:31We are nothing more than dust.
38:33And to the dust we shall return.
38:36Amen.
38:40I have to get out of here.
38:41I have to escape.
38:43I just have to run and find Santeagra.
38:53Come on.
38:57What is this?
38:59That is a spiritual barrier, little girl.
39:02It's impossible for vampiric creatures such as yourself to penetrate it.
39:06Now settle down while I begin to slaughter you goddamn monster.
39:17He's going to kill me.
39:19I'm going to die.
39:21I'm going to die.
39:23Oh god, I'm going to die.
39:25This is no time to lose your head, little girl.
39:29You must help me.
39:40Drink my blood, little girl.
39:44Drink, and you shall never again be treated like a slave.
39:48Drink, and you shall truly become one of us.
39:52You will drink blood of your own choosing.
39:55Wandering the night, powerful and singular.
39:58Become eternal and complete.
40:01Drink my blood, police girl.
40:04Now, Ceres Victoria.
40:13It's over.
40:19That girl belongs to me.
40:22What's your business here, Paladin of Iscariot, Father Alexander Anderson?
40:29Ser Integra Fairbrook Wingates Helsing.
40:36To what do I owe the honor of such a personal appearance?
40:40Enough, Father Anderson.
40:42This is a violation of our agreement.
40:45The situation here is under our control.
40:48Withdraw immediately.
40:50Neither the Iscariot nor the Helsing Organization can afford this sort of battle.
40:54I don't care who you think you are.
40:57This act of aggression ends now.
40:59Withdraw? Is that an order?
41:02You expect the Iscariot Organization, God's own chosen instruments of judgment, to just withdraw on your order?
41:12Did you really expect me to run away screaming in fear from a filthy Protestant whore?
41:25An artificially bioengineered regenerator agent.
41:29And they've upgraded your healing.
41:32You're a thing.
41:34Perhaps.
41:36But you're nothing but weak.
41:38You're worthless.
41:40You're that pathetic pet vampire you love to parade around with.
41:44You just missed his decapitation.
41:47You cut his head off?
41:49Is that all?
41:50What?
41:53Get your hands off, Ser Integra.
42:01It's not looking good for you, Father Anderson.
42:05If I were you, I'd leave while I was still able.
42:09You've gone insane.
42:11I'm about to paint the walls with the two of you.
42:13Then you'd better make it quick.
42:15That vampire you decapitated will be coming back to life any second now.
42:20He'll what?
42:34Why didn't you just drink the blood, you idiot?
42:40Cut off his head.
42:45Pierced his heart.
42:47He is nothing like any vampire you've ever known.
42:51Your tricks won't kill him.
42:53You may be the fruit of the finest anti-vampire technology.
42:57But a hundred years of the Helsing family's occult knowledge produced this achievement.
43:03Our crowned glory.
43:05The Vampire Alacard.
43:09Master!
43:18Master!
43:19Master!
43:37I think you're beginning to understand.
43:40What will you do now, Anderson?
43:46I'll leave.
43:47I need further preparation to kill this one.
43:52We'll meet again, Helsing.
43:57Next time, I'll butcher you.
44:14It's over.
44:18Are you all right, Alacard?
44:21Yes.
44:22It's been a while since I've had my head cut off.
44:25And now we've finally met Father Anderson from Iscariot.
44:29He has violated our agreements, attacked without provocation, and killed my men.
44:36The Vatican will pay dearly for this.
44:39However, they are not our priority.
44:44However, they are not our priority.
44:47There's a shadow organization somewhere out there that is responsible for this increase in vampire attacks.
44:54Then what are my orders, Master?
44:57Shall I destroy them?
44:59Wipe them from the earth?
45:01Grind them to dust?
45:03Just give the word, my Master.
45:06Sir Integra Helsing.
45:10When the time has come, I will.
45:13Really?
45:15I can't wait.
45:17It'll be a pleasure.
45:19A truly great pleasure.
45:23You.
45:25Why didn't you drink the blood?
45:31Why not drink?
45:34I'm not sure.
45:36But it felt like...
45:38It felt like if I drank the blood, it would mean the end of something important inside of me.
45:44You are an idiot.
45:47But perhaps you have a point.
45:50Perhaps it's time for a vampire who does not walk alone through the night.
46:01Why on earth did you turn her into a vampire?
46:04Why indeed.
46:06For fun.
46:07For sport.
46:09Maybe it was just a whim.
46:11Maybe.
46:12But that doesn't sound like me.
46:15Perhaps after years spent with humans, you've finally rubbed off on me.
46:20I might be developing a sense of whimsy.
46:23Let's go, police girl. Don't dawdle.
46:25Yes, sir.
46:26My master.
46:28But, you see, sir.
46:30My name's not police girl.
46:32It's Saris Victoria, sir.
46:35Enough!
46:36You coward.
46:38You are a police girl.
46:40Police girl will do.
46:44You're mean.
46:47Master!
46:53That's quite a thing for you to say.
46:56Just what I'd expect from a king of vampires.
47:01Or a coward.
47:07Ladies and gentlemen.
47:09We will move forward with our plans for the impending war.
47:14And for the war beyond that.
47:17And the war beyond that.
47:19And the next.
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