Being Ian - Ken Kelly and the Keyboard Factory
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🛠️
Style de vieTranscription
00:00Lights! Camera! Action!
00:30C'est parti!
01:00C'est parti!
01:31Yeah!
01:38Not on my ship, you don't!
01:42Dinosaur Cowboy! Now that's the coolest job in the world!
01:47There's no such thing as a Dinosaur Cowboy!
01:50It could be a real job in a movie!
01:52Oh, I can't believe they're out of creamed corn!
01:55Anyway, I got nothing for today's career day presentation.
01:58How about you, E?
01:59It's all right here!
02:01Wanna know my career path? I'm gonna marry someone rich!
02:04Hey! Good plan! Can I do that too?
02:07Uh-oh! Look out! Pukin Penner is headed this way!
02:12And that's one of the worst jobs in the world!
02:16Well, now we know who ate all the creamed corn!
02:21Oddbald, can you hi-ho and clean up the store a smidge?
02:25Oh, yes!
02:28Oh, yes!
02:30Now that's what I call beautiful bulbs!
02:34Oh, yes!
02:35Oddbald!
02:37It's us, Oompy and Lumpy Foogledy!
02:41Oompy and Lumpy Foogledy?
02:43My cousins from Utrecht!
02:45What brings you here?
02:47We are traveling the world and seeing what's cool
02:50before we enroll in medical school!
02:54Oddbald, I thought you said you'd clean up.
02:57Mr. Kelly, these are my cousins, Oompy and Lumpy Foogledy,
03:01from the Netherlands!
03:03Oh, Netherlandish, eh?
03:05Well, welcome to Burnaby!
03:07Come on, Oddbald, we need to lock up. We have a piano to move.
03:10But you don't have to lock the door!
03:12We'll stick around and clean your store!
03:15You will?
03:17Well, sure, why not?
03:20I could use some help around here.
03:22You're hired!
03:24Hired? Hired?
03:26Oompy and Lumpy Foogledy do
03:29For our new jobs we'd like to thank you
03:32Oompy and Lumpy Foogledy dee
03:35We'll work real hard, you just wait and see!
03:39Aren't they cute as the dickens?
03:42I tell you, Oddbald, you could learn a thing or two
03:45from these kooky little squirts!
03:48Oh, no! The field of lope-reading could be so fascinating!
03:51Ian, let's hear about your career plans!
03:55Thank you, Mr. Greeble, but instead of just hearing about my plans,
03:59how about we see them as well?
04:01Yeah!
04:03In a world where everything you think is wrong
04:06is actually true,
04:08we're going to be able to see
04:10the world we want to see.
04:14In a world where everything you think is real
04:17is unreal.
04:19At a time and place where time and spaces have no meaning,
04:25only one man can make sense of it all.
04:28Only one man has the answer.
04:30And that man's name is...
04:35Ian Kelly, movie director.
04:43Yeah!
04:53Oddbald, careful! The left strap is loose!
04:57My left, right?
04:59Right! No! I mean my right!
05:02Right! Wait, your right? That's my left!
05:06Oh, no!
05:09Oh!
05:11Ah, wow! What do you know? I'm okay!
05:17Mr. Kelly!
05:19Mr. Kelly!
05:24And in first place, with his incredibly popular film about his future career,
05:29making mind-numbing entertainment with no redeeming value whatsoever,
05:33Ian Kelly, movie director!
05:37Wow, gosh, I don't know what to say.
05:40I wasn't expecting this at all.
05:42I am so unprepared for this.
05:45Um, I guess I should thank a few people.
05:48In alphabetical order,
05:50Cathy Antonsen, Chris Bartleman,
05:52Annika Hagen, Terry Claussen,
05:54Josh Matlin...
05:58Lumpy and lumpy, boogalitty
06:01Mopping and sweeping all this debris
06:04Lumpy and lumpy, boogalitty
06:07This ain't a store, it's a filthy pigsty
06:11Call an ambulance! Mr. Kelly's complacent!
06:19Hey, everybody! I got a first-place ribbon for my movie!
06:22Isn't that great?
06:23Oh, this is horrible!
06:25I thought you'd be happy.
06:27Hey, what's going on?
06:28Dad's in the hospital!
06:30Hurry up, doofus!
06:35But I thought when you said my left,
06:38you meant my left, right?
06:41Don't worry, Oddbald.
06:43It's all pudding under the bridge.
06:45Anyone else smell toast?
06:49Kenny! Oh, my poor Kenny!
06:53Can you see me? Can you hear me?
06:57Speak to me!
06:59Vicky, calm down, hon. I'm all right.
07:03I just got conked on the coconut is all.
07:06Are you sure you're fine?
07:08Not only am I fine, I'm 167% better.
07:12This accident is the best thing that's ever happened to me.
07:15Oh, sure, it gave me a nasty knock on my noggin,
07:18but it also opened my eyes.
07:20Do you realize that I haven't prepared a thing
07:23for when I can't run Kelly's keyboards anymore?
07:26What do you mean, Dad?
07:27I mean, I need to figure out which of you boys
07:29gets the honor of taking over the store after I'm gone.
07:33Yep, I've got some big decisions to make.
07:39At a time and place where time and spaces have no meaning,
07:42only one man can...
07:54Uh, Ken, before we leave the hospital,
07:57I got you a little something.
07:59A hat?
08:01I thought maybe you'd feel a tad, you know,
08:04embarrassed with that bump on your head.
08:06This'll cover it up.
08:08Oh, honey, this is the sweetest thing
08:10a giant purple mouse ever did for me.
08:13Okay.
08:15Uh, here, it's cold out there.
08:20Now remember, he's still a little, you know...
08:25So, no sudden movements.
08:27And keep him away from sharp objects.
08:29My boys!
08:31My beautiful boys!
08:33It's so wonderful to see you again!
08:36Kevin!
08:37Kyle.
08:38Kyle! My beautiful Kyle!
08:41Samantha!
08:43Cory.
08:44Cory, of course, Cory.
08:46Get a haircut.
08:48And who can forget Tiny Tim?
08:51Um, it's Ian.
08:53Oh, Tim, always the prankster.
08:57And my favorite son of them all.
09:00Uh, help me out here, Octavius, Oswald, Bob.
09:04It's Oddbald, Mr. Kelly.
09:06And although I am honored you think of me as your son,
09:10I am merely your most trusted employee.
09:12Oddbald?
09:14Oddbald! The store!
09:16What are you doing here?
09:17You're supposed to be running the store!
09:19But, well, I thought that you...
09:20Wait, your cousins, those two freaky twins,
09:23are they still there?
09:24Of course, but with...
09:26Oh, the store's in fine little hands then!
09:29Come on, everybody, let's go home and boil a piñata!
09:36Ompi and Lompi, Fugaldi, Di
09:39Hope we impress that Mr. Kelly
09:42Ompi and Lompi, Fugaldi, Du
09:45Painting the walls this shade of blue
09:51Hmm, who will it be?
09:54Who will I choose to run Kelly's keyboards?
09:58Which one, which one
10:00Which son will be the one
10:03To run my keyboard store?
10:07I must pick a boy
10:09But who to employ?
10:10There's no guarantee
10:12And if I pick Ian, it's the same old story
10:15If I pick Cory, what about Kyle?
10:18This might take a while
10:21So how will I choose?
10:22I must be smart
10:23Do I flip a coin or throw a dart?
10:25Or eeny, meeny, miny, moe?
10:27Should I spin the wheel?
10:28Wait, I think I know!
10:30The fairest way beyond a doubt
10:32Is to hold a contest and they can battle it out!
10:35Hey, everybody, family meeting!
10:37Get in here, I've got it!
10:39I figured out who will be my successor
10:42I'm going to hold a contest
10:44To see who's the most qualified to run the store!
10:47Uh, yeah
10:48We know, Dad, we heard you singing
10:51I think maybe you need to lie down for a bit, Ken
10:54That nasty bump has made you go all Broadway
10:58Back in bed
11:00Uh, yeah, bed is good
11:04Cheese is good too
11:06Oh, yes, cheese is good
11:13I don't want to run a lousy keyboard store
11:15But I can't tell my dad that
11:17And now there's this contest
11:19I mean, what if I win?
11:21Easy!
11:22Just don't
11:23Don't what?
11:24Don't win
11:25Of course!
11:26Don't win!
11:28That's it!
11:33Yep, it's in the bag
11:40Uh-oh, why are they smiling?
11:43Let the games begin!
11:45Wow, would you look at this place!
11:48Humpy, Lumpy, you two never cease to amaze me
11:51With your up-and-at-em attitude
11:53And your plucky stick-to-itiveness
11:55Give yourselves a pat on the back
11:58Okay then, boys
12:00You know how this works
12:02We have a number of music-related competitive events set up for you
12:05The one with the best score
12:07Will have the honor of running this fine establishment after me
12:12Isn't this exciting?
12:14Yay!
12:15Woo-hoo!
12:16Yee-haw!
12:17At this point, you will need to tune a cello
12:21Judges ready?
12:22Ready!
12:23Ready!
12:24Contestants ready?
12:25Yeah, whatever
12:27I guess
12:28And...
12:29Tune that cello!
12:48Ah!
13:05Wow, ain't that a kick in the pants
13:07We still don't have a winner
13:09Oh, too bad
13:11Now can we go home?
13:13Yeah, come on, let's go
13:15Now can we go home?
13:16Yeah, come on
13:18I'm tired
13:19Hold your horses, cowpokes
13:21We can still find my successor with the age-old game of chance
13:25Rock, paper, scissors
13:26Ready?
13:27And...
13:28Now!
13:30Okay, let's see here
13:32Rock breaks scissors
13:33Paper covers rock
13:34Scissors cuts paper
13:37I guess this won't work with three people
13:40I'm getting hungry
13:42Yeah, can we go home now?
13:44Wait, I know
13:45I'm thinking of a number between one and ten
13:48Closest one wins
13:49Ian?
13:50One
13:51I was gonna pick that
13:52So was I
13:53Fine
13:54Ian, pick another number between one and ten
13:57Ten
13:58Hey, I was gonna pick that
13:59Me too
14:00That does it!
14:02Eeny, meeny, miny, moe
14:04Catch a tiger by the toe
14:05Keep out and let him go
14:07Eeny, meeny, miny, moe
14:09Booyah!
14:11Ian!
14:12You have been chosen my worthy successor
14:32Oh, Ian, I'm so happy it's you
14:34Isn't this wonderful?
14:41Oh!
14:42I'm a dead director walking
14:45Say hello to Ian Kelly
14:47Keyboard and music store owner and proprietor
14:50Yippee!
14:51Why don't you just do what my dad does?
14:53Whenever my mom asks him to do something
14:55He acts like a complete dork and screws it up so bad
14:58She never asks him to do it again
15:00Works like a charm
15:01Brilliant!
15:06Well, there's the chip off the old block
15:08Dad, I was thinking
15:09If I'm gonna run the store by myself someday
15:11I'm gonna need some practice
15:13So, see ya!
15:14Oh, well, I could use the break, I guess
15:17If you have any questions, just ask Oddbald
15:20Wait, where is he?
15:22He's never around when you need him
15:24Don't worry, I've got it all under control
15:26Okay
15:27Oh, oh, oh
15:28Whatever you do, don't forget to...
15:30Turn out all the lights
15:33Now it's time for a little rearranging
15:40Oh!
15:57What? How?
15:59Did you two do this?
16:01Hello
16:02Uh, my, what a clean store you have here
16:05Go away
16:06I beg your pardon?
16:07You heard me, go away
16:09We don't want your business
16:10Are you crazy?
16:11Yes, he is, but it's all a knack
16:13He's really quite nice, as a matter of fact
16:16The prices are nuts and savings galore
16:19You're crazy and music store
16:23I get it
16:24You're crazy for my business
16:27No, I'm not
16:28I'm serious
16:29Get out of here, mister
16:30Very funny, young man
16:33Now then
16:34I'm the musical director of the Tone Deaf Children's Orchestra
16:38I'll need twenty packs of violin strings
16:41Fifteen saxophone reeds
16:43A hundred pairs of earplugs and...
16:46Well, hidey-ho there, boys
16:48Just thought I'd pop in, see how you fellas are doing
16:50Did you sell anything yet?
16:53I don't believe it
16:54You three have just smashed the record for best sales day in our store's history
17:00Mr. Kelly, please forgive me
17:02My soap carving class went late
17:04But look what I carved for you
17:06A windmill
17:08Oddball, I don't know how to say this
17:10But with Umpy and Lumpy here doing a bang-up job
17:13I really can't afford you anymore
17:16But I made you a windmill
17:22Oddball!
17:23No need to be speaking anymore, Mr. Kelly
17:27I know when I'm not needed
17:30Wow, that was surprisingly painless
17:32Now then, with you three as my top-notch sales staff
17:35The time has come for me to do the one thing I've been afraid to do all my sales life
17:40A giant going-out-for-business sale
17:44Wait, you're going out of business?
17:46Then you won't need me to take over the store, right?
17:48Correction, going out FOR business
17:51It's the ultimate sales trick
17:53But you can only pull it off once in a store's lifetime
17:56You get a ton of customers through the doors thinking the store's going out of business
18:01We're gonna need giant signs
18:03This is gonna be fantastic!
18:11Rent is due the first of the month
18:14No visitors past seven at night
18:17And most importantly, keep the noise down
18:20That night ain't worse than noise
18:23Yes, ma'am
18:24Thank you, ma'am
18:30Keep it down in there!
18:32Sorry!
18:36Who could it be?
18:37No one knows I'm here
18:40Ian! How'd you find me?
18:42Easy, I followed the trail of soap lather
18:47Oddball, you can't live here
18:50Come back to the keyboard store
18:52But I love it here! This is paradise!
18:56I said keep it down or it's back on the street with you!
19:00This is paradise?
19:04Okay, maybe you're right, but I can't go back now
19:07I shamed myself as an employee
19:10Why would Mr. Kelly hire me back?
19:12Easy, I have a plan
19:17What are they doing here?
19:20Humpty and Lumpy, foogley tired
19:23We didn't mean to get you fired
19:26Humpty and Lumpy, foogley dust
19:29We'll make it up, won't you forgive us?
19:34You and your mutant singing friends, out now!
19:38Shoo! Shoo!
19:40Serve me right, written out to Australians!
19:44Would you look at that crowd?
19:46My going out for business trick worked!
19:50Okay fellas, get ready because I'm going to open the doors in 3, 2...
20:01Why would you pay 75 bucks for this when you can buy it for 20 on the internet?
20:05Ian! What are you doing? Don't tell him that!
20:09Why not? It's true, isn't it?
20:11Well, yeah, but he doesn't need to know that
20:14We can't understand your funny money
20:16So lucky for you, everything is free!
20:21Free? No, no, no, stop! Nothing's free!
20:25You all need to pay!
20:27This can't be happening, I need Oddvault! Where's Oddvault?
20:36Oddvault! Oddvault! Thank goodness you're here, I need your help
20:40But I thought you fired me
20:43I don't know what I was thinking
20:45That piano bench on the head must have done some number on me
20:48Please come back, please!
20:54Buying string instruments? Please wait over here, I'll be with you in a moment
20:58Woodwinds, form a section over there please
21:01Brass, over here
21:02Percussion instruments, that includes pianos, over here
21:05Everybody else, form a line in front of the cash register
21:09We accept cash, credit cards, checks and lingonberry pie
21:13I'm just joshing about the pie
21:16Now that's what I call a well orchestrated plan
21:21Thank you, Oddvault, I can't believe how blind I've been
21:25Oddvault, if something ever happened to me, will you run Kelly's keyboards?
21:30Oh, Mr. Kelly!
21:34You opened your heart for me
21:39You opened my eyes for me
21:44And now I see I'm nothing without you
21:52I'm nothing without, nothing without
21:57Nothing without you
22:10That was beautiful!
22:12Now get back to work before I fire you again
22:16Umpy, Lumpy, I can't thank you enough
22:19No problemo, but now we go
22:22Where are you headed now?
22:24Umpy and Lumpy, foogle-dee-doo
22:27We're gonna take a...
22:29Okay, you two! The singing and dancing thing? Really creepy and annoying!
22:34No worries, we'll cease!
22:36So we bid you peace!
22:47Oh, great! Now it's stuck in my head!
22:50B.A.E.N.
23:20B.A.E.N.