Adze The African Vampire (2024)

  • 2 days ago
When a viral video ignites whispers of an African Vampire, a myth-busting YouTuber teams up with three social media icons in a perilous hunt for the truth.

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Transcript
00:00:00the
00:00:27is the site of a Civil War massacre that has spawned chilling ghost stories. But first,
00:00:34let's separate fact from fiction. This is True Hauntings.
00:00:57It was right here in September 1864 that William Bloody Bill Anderson and his band
00:01:13of guerrillas ambushed a train carrying 22 unarmed Union soldiers who were heading home
00:01:21on furlough. Bloody Bill then commanded his men to strip and slaughter them in what a
00:01:30witness described as a carnival of blood. Their wounded were shot repeatedly, their
00:01:40bodies mutilated and tossed down there like rag dolls.
00:01:47Many historians have described Anderson as a psychopathic monster who often disemboweled
00:01:57and scalped Union soldiers. What is that? See?
00:02:17Maybe the ghost of Bloody Bill is playing tricks on me.
00:02:34An ominous warning. Anyhow, legend has it that if you cross this
00:02:41line, you will come face to face with the ghost of Bloody Bill. And there's no telling
00:02:53what he might do. Come, let's put this spooky ghost tale to
00:02:58rest. Be sure to like, share and subscribe.
00:03:11This track is supposed to be abandoned.
00:03:41What the? Got a death wish, son? Who the hell are you? I work for the railroad. This here's private property. Don't you hear that train? I'm trying to get you out of here.
00:04:11Get yourself killed. Alright, come on. We gotta go.
00:04:20Myth debunked. Okay, okay.
00:04:28I say myth, you say ology. Myth! Ology! Myth! Ology!
00:04:33Y'all love mythology. You got tickets, bro? Thank you, thank you. Remember, no cell phones
00:04:37if you can. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Remember, remember, please. You're good, you're
00:04:42good. Sit wherever you like, no cell phones. Aww, I can't believe this is gonna be her
00:04:46last lecture. I know. Some of her unconventional teaching
00:04:50methods seems a little bit crazy, but you know, she knows her shit and she's gonna be
00:04:53missed, so. That's true.
00:04:58What's going on? Thank you, thank you, thank you. Here you
00:05:03go. Hey guys, sit anywhere you like. If you could take those and pass it to the rest of
00:05:06your row. One, two, three. Hey-o.
00:05:13What? Taylor, I have to tell you something. I never
00:05:18blink first. Ever. Thank you. Don't worry, it's in good hand.
00:05:31Oh-ho-ho. There's always one, people.
00:05:39Hello! Hello!
00:05:41I am so happy to see all of you. I can't believe he took my phone.
00:05:46We are here because... Hello? Did you guys not hear what I just said?
00:05:50Text. Oh, wait. You can't, because you don't have your phone. Seriously, Tate, didn't you
00:05:55know cell phones, blah, blah, blah sign? And I always record our lectures.
00:06:00I mean, this one's different. So, if you're still sitting down, I am going
00:06:07to assume you have read and signed the confidentiality agreement.
00:06:12Dr. Aluma, why do you need our signatures? Did you even bother to read it?
00:06:17Kinda? I see. Well, I suggest you kinda read it
00:06:23again before you hand it to Adam. I'm out.
00:06:33His loss.
00:06:43I mean, first my phone, now this. Do you think it all has something to do with Mr. Big Money?
00:06:49Who knows? Honestly, most students stop subscribing to his YouTube channel anyway.
00:06:53Yeah, I wonder why. Serious? He hasn't posted anything new since, like, the Bigfoot Challenge.
00:06:59Which was six months ago. Yeah, but it's a long time.
00:07:04Here we go again with that whack-ass chant.
00:07:07We must always protect ourselves from the forces of evil.
00:07:11Real or imagined.
00:07:14Goodbye, see you later. Enough!
00:07:18Monica, stop this nonsense.
00:07:21Mac, this is not the time or place. This is exactly the time and place.
00:07:33Why can't we just leave the darkness and the shadows where it belongs?
00:07:38I am truly sorry for the interruption.
00:07:44As you know, this is going to be my last presentation before I retire.
00:07:51Wait, professor, are you staying in Atlanta or moving home to Nigeria?
00:07:57I have not decided yet, but I do know one thing.
00:08:01I am going to miss each and every one of you.
00:08:06Nigeria, 2016. Male, 33.
00:08:12What do you see?
00:08:15It looks like a bite.
00:08:18Okay, it does look like a bite.
00:08:21Morocco, 2017. Female, 18.
00:08:26I want you to look closely at both slides.
00:08:30Do you notice any similarities?
00:08:34Professor, it almost looks like some kind of serial killer attacked them and took their eyes like a trophy.
00:08:45Maybe.
00:08:47This victim from Zimbabwe is pretty unique.
00:08:51See, according to his forensic autopsy, his internal organs were nowhere to be found.
00:08:58So, based on what you know, which creature from African mythology, in your opinion, is to blame?
00:09:06It's gotta be Aziza.
00:09:07Wrong, it's Iloko.
00:09:09It's definitely Obia.
00:09:11Are you kidding me? It's clearly Kishi.
00:09:14Okay, Tokoloshe, Aziza, Obia, Iloko, Kishi.
00:09:22These are all potential culprits.
00:09:25But, before I leave, I want to share with you the most compelling evidence I have ever come across about the creature I know is solely responsible for all of those attacks.
00:09:40Dr. Aluma, which creature is it?
00:09:43And does this compelling evidence have anything to do with the disappearance of your son, Mr. Big Money?
00:09:51Um, the professor won't be taking any more questions for now.
00:09:55Sorry.
00:09:57Alright, let's begin.
00:09:59Hello, my friends. Good day, my friends.
00:10:26Welcome, welcome, welcome, my friends. We're gonna go with that.
00:10:31Alright, let's go for one.
00:10:38Welcome, friends. Last week was about big monsters, legendary myths, crap.
00:10:56Yeah.
00:11:01Alright.
00:11:13Welcome back to True Hauntings, where we debunk myths, legends, and monsters of the world.
00:11:19Last week was all about Big Money.
00:11:23Last week was all about Bigfoot.
00:11:25So many of you have uploaded some amazing footage.
00:11:29I am still tallying and reviewing all of the votes.
00:11:32I will announce a winner to the competition in about two days.
00:11:39Oh, and by the way, don't forget to hit that subscribe button.
00:11:44Today, we have a special competition.
00:11:49I have invited not one, not two, but three of the world's top social media influencers to join me in the cabin.
00:11:57One second.
00:12:07Talk about impeccable timing.
00:12:11Come, let's say hi.
00:12:18What's up, Biggie?
00:12:19My man.
00:12:21What's good?
00:12:22Good to see you again.
00:12:23Good to see you.
00:12:25Jack, this is Jack. This is the Jack of all trades.
00:12:30Say it again.
00:12:31Literally the Jack of all trades.
00:12:33Jack is a health slash fitness trainer, and he's a reality TV star and stunt coordinator.
00:12:41Well, I think that makes me a triple threat.
00:12:45Second to PewDiePie only in social media popularity.
00:12:49Man, fuck DP.
00:12:50All right, so once this video drops, me winning, I'm going to get you, DP.
00:12:57Watch out.
00:12:59If you guys haven't noticed, Jack is being extremely modest.
00:13:03Damn straight.
00:13:05Be warm, bitches.
00:13:09This is Bogo, my right-hand man.
00:13:13He is responsible for handling all the behind-the-scenes bullshit, including making sure my social media friends arrived in one piece.
00:13:25Thank you, sir.
00:13:29Speaking of behind the scenes, you mind handling this for me?
00:13:34Oh, no, no, Mr. Big Money. I do not want to get in any trouble, sir.
00:13:39Okay, I'll make you a deal.
00:13:41Stop calling me, sir.
00:13:43Man the shit out of this camera until I say stop.
00:13:48And you get to keep the car.
00:13:57Wait.
00:13:59For how long?
00:14:01Bogo, another question and the deal is off.
00:14:06Okay.
00:14:09Thank you, my man.
00:14:11I appreciate it.
00:14:12And don't worry, I'll let you know when I want the camera back.
00:14:18Okay?
00:14:19Okay, sir.
00:14:20Ladies, good to see you.
00:14:25See you inside?
00:14:27All right.
00:14:29See you inside?
00:14:30All right.
00:14:35Hey, Raven, I got you a milkshake. Hurry up.
00:14:50Girl, I love this look. It's badass.
00:14:54Think so?
00:14:55Yeah.
00:14:56Thanks.
00:14:57I think you're really pretty.
00:14:59Well, thank you very much, but if I'm to be honest, I am pretty crushed with your makeup.
00:15:04So, maybe you can give me some makeup tips?
00:15:06No, girl. Some of us don't need makeup. Look at you.
00:15:11Okay, here.
00:15:16Okay, Wyatt, we get it. All right?
00:15:19You're a big fan of rising sunglasses.
00:15:22Come on, crush. It's called House of the Rising Sun. Everyone knows that.
00:15:27I thought you were some kind of super genius.
00:15:29And I am, which is exactly why I know the House of the Rising Sun, the derivative of rising sun, blues.
00:15:36Bullshit.
00:15:38Look, I know the origins of that song is often disputed,
00:15:42but I also know that Alan Lomax recorded Georgia Turner,
00:15:48a 16-year-old girl from Kentucky singing that song acapella.
00:15:52All right?
00:15:56Never said exactly where she learned it.
00:16:01Eight years earlier, Clarence Ashley recorded a bluegrass version of Rising Sun Blues,
00:16:07and he claimed he learned it from his grandfather, right?
00:16:09Yeah.
00:16:10So that literally means that no one knows jack shit about the origins of that song.
00:16:16Cool.
00:16:18Thanks for the history lesson, 101.
00:16:20Oh, you're very welcome.
00:16:21But everyone knows the animals wrote that song.
00:16:24Mmm.
00:16:25All right.
00:16:28Go, go, go.
00:16:36Raven, Sasha, Jack, come in here.
00:16:41Okay.
00:16:46It's safe to assume you've all seen the viral video, right?
00:16:49Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:16:51Any kid with half a brain and access to Photoshop could pull that shit off.
00:16:55But what if it's real?
00:16:59And what if it isn't?
00:17:02I'd say you, my queen.
00:17:04I don't know, Biggie. I'm not sure.
00:17:07By the way, Sasha is one of the most popular fashion and beauty trendsetters on all of social media.
00:17:15What's your sub count?
00:17:17Let's say a little bit over eight million, damn it.
00:17:22Yo, girl.
00:17:25I think this is a little bit too spooky.
00:17:29Yep, still smells like total BS to me.
00:17:31So what do you think or believe it might be?
00:17:35It is not what I think. It is not what I believe.
00:17:39But it is what we can prove.
00:17:43And I'm willing to pay over half a million dollars.
00:17:47Motherfucker.
00:17:48Jack.
00:17:53Sorry, brother.
00:17:56Okay.
00:17:58Now that I have your attention, there is someone that I would like for you all to meet.
00:18:08Hello, professor.
00:18:10Hello, dear.
00:18:12I have been expecting your call.
00:18:14I'm assuming you've seen the video, right?
00:18:17Of course I have.
00:18:18Well?
00:18:20Well, what?
00:18:21What's your opinion?
00:18:23Stay away.
00:18:24Okay, professor.
00:18:26What's your expert opinion?
00:18:27Stay away.
00:18:30I don't understand why you keep pursuing these reckless avengers.
00:18:35Professor.
00:18:36You could have been anything else, like a lawyer, a doctor.
00:18:40Professor, I did not call you for another lecture.
00:18:43Well, maybe I kind of did.
00:18:46I have some of my social media friends here with me, and they have some questions.
00:18:53It's a typical Azip possession.
00:18:56What does that even mean?
00:18:58First things first.
00:19:00I suggest you and your friends join me.
00:19:04This is for your own protection.
00:19:06What?
00:19:07What is she doing?
00:19:09What is happening?
00:19:10Sorry, that was some voodoo mumbo-jumbo.
00:19:14What?
00:19:18So, professor, what is an adze?
00:19:23An adze is a mischievous creature from African mythology.
00:19:28It can either take the form of a firefly, or it can be a bird.
00:19:33It can either take the form of a firefly, or a human.
00:19:38Sort of like how vampires turn into bats?
00:19:42You could say that.
00:19:44Alright, professor, but you do know that vampires attack humans when they're hungry, right?
00:19:51Also, there's an adze.
00:19:53In fact, for centuries, the Ewe people of West Africa have lived in fear of the adze.
00:20:01Do you want to know why?
00:20:04Is no an option?
00:20:05Of course it is.
00:20:07But I suggest you listen to me carefully.
00:20:10Because, according to legends, there are no weapons, there is no secret potion or magic spell to repel an adze.
00:20:20In fact, once bitten, there is absolutely no cure.
00:20:27Yeah, it sucks for those people.
00:20:29Yes, it does.
00:20:31But you should also know that an adze will attack those with enviable qualities.
00:20:38What? Enviable qualities?
00:20:42Seriously? Like, what, being really good looking, charming, totally awesome, like me?
00:20:47There is one more little thing.
00:20:50Okay, professor, how little?
00:20:52In the absence of human blood, an adze will settle for coconut water.
00:20:57Coconut water? Seriously?
00:21:01This is a whole new level of fucked up.
00:21:03Professor, we're talking about the guy with big balls of fire coming out of his mouth.
00:21:07Yes, I'm aware. And nose.
00:21:11Is this creature even really dangerous?
00:21:14I want you to listen.
00:21:15You capture an adze firefly.
00:21:17It will do one or two things.
00:21:20It will ship-shift into its human form and kill you.
00:21:24Or it will turn you into a host.
00:21:27Okay, professor. Is there anything else that we should know?
00:21:31Yes, an adze likes to hide in plain sight.
00:21:36So it can even be anyone.
00:21:38I still don't get this. Like, look, what is she saying?
00:21:44Of course you don't.
00:21:46It means that we are here to hunt a freaking insect.
00:21:49Please.
00:21:50We're here to hunt a freaking insect.
00:21:52Please.
00:21:53Jesus, Biggie, my channel's about to take a big fucking dump, man.
00:21:56Okay, we're done here. This is getting a little crazy.
00:21:59Crazy? There is absolutely nothing crazy about this.
00:22:04No, professor, seriously?
00:22:06Any sane adult knows that vampires are not real.
00:22:09And even if they were, what the heck is an African vampire doing in the Blue Ridge Mountains?
00:22:13A European vampire knows no boundaries.
00:22:16Why should an African adze?
00:22:19Professor, you must not be familiar with the U.S. immigration policy.
00:22:23Build that wall. Build that wall.
00:22:27Okay, Jack.
00:22:28Look, this is serious. An adze drinks human blood.
00:22:33It eats human flesh, internal organs, eyeballs.
00:22:37You know what? So does a werewolf.
00:22:42Give me a break, Biggie.
00:22:44I would like to speak to Mr. Big Money alone.
00:22:47I'm sure you would.
00:22:48Okay, guys, go get your things out of the SUV.
00:22:53Take a look around the house.
00:22:55I need to speak with the professor for a minute.
00:22:58Oh, and check out the fire pit.
00:23:07Eggo, your friends clearly think this is a joking matter.
00:23:13I am extremely concerned.
00:23:15Why? Are we not talking about a creature from a storybook?
00:23:19A very dangerous one.
00:23:21That no one in his or her right mind has claimed to have ever seen.
00:23:24But I have. Don't tell me you have forgotten this.
00:23:28What? How I had to walk to school by myself, play outside by myself,
00:23:34eat my birthday cupcakes one by one, all by myself?
00:23:39I...
00:23:41You do remember this, don't you?
00:23:44You had protection.
00:23:49You threw it away.
00:23:51Protection? You mean the little straw man?
00:23:54Terrorist man.
00:23:55Professor, this was the work of a psychopath.
00:23:59But you told the entire village.
00:24:01And I was responsible.
00:24:04Every single one of my friends ridiculed me.
00:24:08Do you know what they called me?
00:24:11Mwa Obama era.
00:24:13Son of a crazy wench.
00:24:16Look, what do you want me to say?
00:24:20That you failed as a mother because you were too busy chasing things that were not real.
00:24:25Eggo, please. Biko, I know you think things are not real only because you have not seen them.
00:24:37I'm so glad that we are finally on the same page.
00:24:39I hope you find absolutely nothing.
00:24:43I'm counting on that, Professor.
00:24:47The footage will be uploaded to you in two days.
00:24:53And I just can't wait to prove you wrong.
00:24:57Oh, and by the way, be ready to play judge, as always.
00:25:10Is everything all right?
00:25:12Gotta go, Professor. Goodbye.
00:25:26Want some?
00:25:28Okay, my friends, our call to adventure now has a name.
00:25:33And it also comes with warning.
00:25:36If there's an odd day out there, I want proof.
00:25:41I have a feeling things are about to get neat.
00:25:45Neat.
00:25:47So, we've met Jack.
00:25:51What up?
00:25:52We've met Sasha.
00:25:54And if you've played League of Legends, Call of Duty, Fortnite, or any of the other online games,
00:26:02then you've met Raven, a.k.a. Crush.
00:26:09Okay, mercy, mercy.
00:26:13But Raven is easily the top three gaming influences of this decade.
00:26:20Yeah, we get it.
00:26:21She's a PC geek, so...
00:26:24She's also X-Menity. Be warned.
00:26:28Still a chick.
00:26:29At least she's not a dick.
00:26:34Thank you very much. I'll be here all night.
00:26:38So, this competition has no rules, but there are some guidelines.
00:26:45And what's with the fonts?
00:26:47I'm going to assume you've all seen the movie Creep. Yes?
00:26:51No.
00:26:52Host or Cloverfield?
00:26:54Not really.
00:26:56Look, Mr. Big, not everybody's into the found footage genre.
00:26:59Especially these girly girls. Come on, man.
00:27:02You know they're into chick flicks and rom-coms.
00:27:04Wait a minute, I'm a sucker for a good chick flick.
00:27:07Does that make me a girly man?
00:27:10Yeah.
00:27:11For your information, Jack-ass,
00:27:14Man, I hated that one.
00:27:16Anyone stupid enough to go searching for I-don't-even-know-what in a really creepy forest deserves what they get.
00:27:22Yeah, especially the girl.
00:27:25I think all she was concerned about was her stupid camera.
00:27:29Oh, speaking of cameras...
00:27:35Think of your phone as an extension of yourself.
00:27:38We want to see what you see, hear what you hear.
00:27:42I repeat, see what you see, hear what you hear.
00:27:48We get it.
00:27:51Okay.
00:27:53I have cameras set up on the fireplace, inside and outside of the cabin,
00:27:57and also in various secret locations that I have never been to.
00:28:03And all of the footage will be uploaded to the Cloud Automatic.
00:28:07Which means zero privacy?
00:28:10Yeah, maybe.
00:28:12What?
00:28:14Look, you will be disconnected from the outside world, literally.
00:28:22No way, Biggie.
00:28:24Are you trying to say there is no Wi-Fi here?
00:28:26No, no, no, no, no.
00:28:29No way, Biggie.
00:28:31Are you trying to say there is no Wi-Fi here?
00:28:34Well, loyal subjects will be able to survive without you for at least two days, my queen.
00:28:40Unless she goes mysteriously vanishing in the woods.
00:28:42Oh, no.
00:28:43Zip it.
00:28:44Zip it right there, Chuck.
00:28:45Okay.
00:28:49But if anyone wants to bail, Bogo can give you a ride back to town.
00:28:54And...
00:28:56I have 10 G's for your troubles.
00:29:01No hard feelings.
00:29:03Or?
00:29:04Or.
00:29:08Or, if you choose to stay...
00:29:15We can play for half a million dollars.
00:29:21Now that is what I'm talking about.
00:29:25Alright, so Mr. Big, who's going to be judging this competition?
00:29:28Um...
00:29:31The professor.
00:29:35You mean your mom?
00:29:37Holy shit, she's your mom?
00:29:39You didn't say anything?
00:29:40You didn't ask.
00:29:42Alright, so let me get this straight.
00:29:45You're going to be in a competition, and your mom is the judge?
00:29:50Which means none of us stand a chance if that's the case.
00:29:53Which also means, take my 10K now, call it a good day.
00:29:58Okay, just chill for a minute.
00:30:03Now, our relationship is complicated, to say the least.
00:30:08It's not like she's going to treat me like some sort of teacher's pet.
00:30:12Alright, that's all fine and good, but why her?
00:30:15Well, she is the most qualified to judge this competition.
00:30:21And we all know I do not need the money.
00:30:26So, if there's an odds out there, I want to find it.
00:30:33But I won't hold my breath.
00:30:35What if you're wrong?
00:30:39Prove it.
00:30:45Bogo is about to head back to town.
00:30:48Anyone?
00:30:49No, I'm good, thanks.
00:30:51Oh, okay.
00:30:55Alrighty.
00:30:57500,000 is up for grabs.
00:31:00You have 48 hours.
00:31:02Wait a minute, Mr. Big.
00:31:04How are we supposed to catch this thingy?
00:31:07Oh my god, Sasha, it is a freaking insect.
00:31:10Come on.
00:31:11What do you think?
00:31:14Okay, so Bogo is getting ready to head out.
00:31:19Leaving us stranded for the next 48 hours all alone.
00:31:23Let's see if I can surprise him with the tinjis that Jack turned down earlier.
00:31:30Sorry, sir.
00:31:31She made me promise.
00:31:34Just in case you threw the other ones away.
00:31:37She knows me well.
00:31:39I believe her heart is in the right place.
00:31:41She just wants to make sure you are safe.
00:31:43Oh, so you've been spying on me for the professor this whole time, huh?
00:31:48What else have you been hiding?
00:31:50Nothing.
00:31:51I just want to make sure you are safe.
00:31:53So you've been spying on me for the professor this whole time, huh?
00:31:57What else have you been hiding?
00:31:59Maybe I should reconsider giving you this.
00:32:14Sir, it has never been about the money.
00:32:17Oh no?
00:32:18It is about flesh and blood.
00:32:24Don't forget to pick us up in the next 48 hours, my brother.
00:32:43You know, I believe I need to stay.
00:32:48You know, I believe I need to stay.
00:32:53To make sure you and your friends are safe.
00:33:06Hey Wyatt!
00:33:08Can you please quit?
00:33:14Put a shirt on, my brother.
00:33:16You're making the rest of us look bad.
00:33:18Man, you see a gym out here?
00:33:20How else am I supposed to get my workout in?
00:33:25So, uh, what's with the coconut water?
00:33:29Why? You want some?
00:33:33Didn't the professor say that the adze feeds on coconut water in the absence of human flesh and internal organs?
00:33:41No internal organs for me.
00:33:44But didn't she say that the adze can beat anyone?
00:33:49Oh, I know where you're going, crush.
00:33:52But, look, it's me.
00:33:58Make no mistake.
00:34:00If things go sideways, I will not hesitate to put your ass down.
00:34:08And by the way...
00:34:11Checkmate.
00:34:13Damn it.
00:34:15Got me again.
00:34:18Got it.
00:34:21Hey, who is Jack?
00:34:24I don't know.
00:34:25Don't care.
00:34:28Jack?
00:34:33Jack?
00:34:41Stop it, guys. This is not funny.
00:34:43Sorry.
00:34:44It's pretty funny.
00:34:45You're such an asshole.
00:34:47Hey, um, what's that?
00:34:49Well, when you invited me out to the mountains, I knew there'd be monsters.
00:34:54Nice catch.
00:34:56Hey, sorry.
00:34:57Check it out.
00:34:59Play with it.
00:35:02Sasha.
00:35:04Sasha, will you meet me inside for a second?
00:35:07No way. Why should I?
00:35:09Please. I'll behave. I promise.
00:35:13You better.
00:35:21So what do you want?
00:35:23Look, I didn't come around here just to sit around.
00:35:26Then leave. No one is stopping you.
00:35:28Sasha, those two are out there playing some silly little chess game,
00:35:31while there's a creature out there with a half a million dollar bounty on its head.
00:35:35I don't know. I think I'm just going to wait for Raven.
00:35:38Yeah, wait for her.
00:35:39Okay. Suit yourself.
00:35:42But I came here to play a game, not watch one.
00:35:45Oh, wait. Hold on.
00:35:47Just give me a second. I'll meet you outside.
00:35:49Promise?
00:35:50Yeah, I will.
00:35:53Hey, book, I'm going to the bathroom. Give me some privacy.
00:35:56No, please.
00:35:59What's up, sirens?
00:36:01Guess who just asked me to go on a nature walk alone?
00:36:07Mr. Awesome!
00:36:09Oh, my God!
00:36:11Yo, hurry up, Sasha. You dropping bombs in there?
00:36:13Jack, shut up!
00:36:15Jeez!
00:36:17Guys, I'll keep you posted, okay?
00:36:21Love you.
00:36:22Adze! Adze!
00:36:24Come out, come out, wherever you are!
00:36:27We're coming for you!
00:36:29Adze! Adze!
00:36:32Come out at once!
00:36:34The Queen commands!
00:36:37Man, Sasha, I cannot believe we're in the middle of bumfuck Egypt.
00:36:41Some damn wild goose chase.
00:36:44All because some one-eyed monster hunter who makes millions of dollars on YouTube videos
00:36:48wants to pay me half a million dollars
00:36:51just to prove some fucking creature ain't even real.
00:36:53I guess.
00:36:55You do know there's some weird stuff about him online, right?
00:36:58Yeah? Like what?
00:37:00The thing that happened to him when he was a kid.
00:37:03Probably the reason he wears the eye patch.
00:37:06Really?
00:37:08Well, I don't care.
00:37:10I'm just concerned about winning this competition.
00:37:13Seriously?
00:37:15Yeah.
00:37:17Have you not noticed that Mr. Awesome is in the mix?
00:37:20I don't get it.
00:37:22Okay, Sasha, what would you even do with all that money?
00:37:24Are you kidding me?
00:37:26Like, seriously, Jack?
00:37:28You're asking what a queen like me,
00:37:30you're asking what a queen like me
00:37:32will be doing with $500,000?
00:37:34Okay.
00:37:36Boy, it will literally change my entire world.
00:37:38Yeah.
00:37:40So what about you? What would you be doing with that?
00:37:42Sasha, come here.
00:37:44What are those?
00:37:46Oh, wow.
00:37:51Jack.
00:37:53No, no, no, no, I'm sure they're flip-flops.
00:37:55No, no, I don't want.
00:37:57Mr. Big Brother's watching.
00:37:59Ain't that right, bogo?
00:38:08Yeah.
00:38:12Wait a second.
00:38:14Are these huckleberries?
00:38:18I'm allergic.
00:38:20I told you not to eat them.
00:38:22Oh, my goodness.
00:38:24I told you not to eat them.
00:38:26Are you okay?
00:38:28I told you not to eat them.
00:38:30Oh, my God, fuck, fuck.
00:38:32Stop. Okay, stop. It's a joke.
00:38:34Damn.
00:38:36Such an idiot.
00:38:38Sasha, where are you going?
00:38:40Far away from you.
00:38:42But the cabin is that way.
00:38:44I don't care.
00:38:46Okay, go get her, bogo.
00:38:48Sasha.
00:38:50Sasha.
00:38:52Oh, my God.
00:38:54Sasha.
00:38:56Where the heck do you even think she went, bogo?
00:39:00What?
00:39:02Maybe she went to bed.
00:39:04Are you kidding me, man?
00:39:06She's trying to win this thing.
00:39:08Let's go. I gotta go. Come on.
00:39:12I hear something.
00:39:24Okay.
00:39:34Okay.
00:39:48I definitely hear something.
00:39:54Whoa.
00:39:56Oh, Jesus, crush.
00:39:58You scared me.
00:40:00Almost gave me a heart attack.
00:40:04What are you doing out here, anyway?
00:40:06Oh, scouting.
00:40:08A good soldier is always prepared.
00:40:10Nice.
00:40:12Ah.
00:40:14I guess it's nice to have a strategic mind
00:40:16on my team.
00:40:18Mind if I tag along?
00:40:20Oh, sure.
00:40:22Hey, chicken.
00:40:24I am not.
00:40:26Yeah, yeah.
00:40:32You okay?
00:40:34I'm coming.
00:40:36Don't worry.
00:40:38I got it.
00:40:40I got it.
00:40:48Okay.
00:40:50Okay.
00:40:52So,
00:40:54what was it like in the military?
00:40:56Hmm.
00:40:58Kill or be killed.
00:41:00Hmm.
00:41:02That is dark.
00:41:08Hmm.
00:41:12Ugo.
00:41:14Osagie.
00:41:16Ugo.
00:41:18Ugo like the bird,
00:41:20as in raven.
00:41:22I get it.
00:41:24Sorry.
00:41:26Slow moments.
00:41:28Okay.
00:41:32So,
00:41:34why the army?
00:41:36You first.
00:41:38Give me that.
00:41:44So, what's the deal with the patch?
00:41:46I am a big fan
00:41:48of Slick Rick.
00:41:50Oh, great.
00:41:52Well, I'm still not telling you jack shit.
00:41:54Okay? Not till you level up.
00:41:56Well, um,
00:41:58it's not that exciting.
00:42:00Hmm.
00:42:02I bet you're tired of that.
00:42:04Sigh.
00:42:14When I was about seven years old,
00:42:16a raging lunatic
00:42:18terrorized our village
00:42:20and attacked me.
00:42:24And?
00:42:26And what?
00:42:28I told you it wasn't that exciting.
00:42:30So, your mom or your dad
00:42:32didn't report it to the police?
00:42:34Nope.
00:42:36Not when your mother believes that
00:42:38Ozzie was responsible.
00:42:40That's fucked up.
00:42:42Yeah.
00:42:44Never understood the human capacity for cruelty.
00:42:48So,
00:42:52your turn.
00:42:56So, uh,
00:42:58remember Hotel Rwanda?
00:43:00Unfortunately.
00:43:02Well, uh,
00:43:04it's one thing to
00:43:06see the atrocities of ethnic cleansing in a movie,
00:43:08but
00:43:10to actually live through it?
00:43:16I was a
00:43:20young girl just
00:43:22playing out front with my baby sister
00:43:24when I hurt the engine of a truck.
00:43:26And at first I thought
00:43:28it was just my dad coming back from the farm,
00:43:30but then the truck stopped
00:43:32a few houses down
00:43:34and these big men
00:43:36with machetes just
00:43:38jumped out and started hacking
00:43:40and killing
00:43:42everyone in sight.
00:43:46I told,
00:43:48I told my sister just
00:43:50to run.
00:43:52Just run!
00:43:54But
00:43:58as the men got closer
00:44:00and closer,
00:44:02we just panicked.
00:44:06She turned left and
00:44:08I turned right.
00:44:12From my hiding place I could just
00:44:14hear her crying
00:44:16and screaming
00:44:18just, help me,
00:44:20Hugo, help me, save me!
00:44:22My sister was calling for me,
00:44:24for me to save her,
00:44:26but I just
00:44:30was too scared
00:44:32to move.
00:44:36By the time
00:44:38that I
00:44:40that I came out
00:44:42of my hiding place,
00:44:44I saw
00:44:46what they'd done to my sister.
00:44:48My beautiful,
00:44:50beautiful
00:44:52baby sister.
00:44:56I swore that I would never let fear
00:44:58cripple me like that,
00:45:00ever again.
00:45:04So you wanted to know why I joined the military
00:45:06and there you have it.
00:45:08Oh my God.
00:45:12You were just a child, there was nothing you could have done.
00:45:14Yeah, maybe.
00:45:16Look,
00:45:18I can only imagine
00:45:20the type of pain that you went through
00:45:22and trust me, I know a thing or two
00:45:24about pain, but
00:45:26for what it's worth,
00:45:28I am
00:45:30so, so sorry.
00:45:34Yeah, well,
00:45:36what doesn't kill you?
00:45:40Only
00:45:42what makes you stronger.
00:45:48I'm so cold.
00:45:50Sasha, enough.
00:45:52Oh my God, this is sick.
00:45:54You know what, look around.
00:45:56I just want to go back.
00:45:58Oh my God.
00:46:00You've always been playing.
00:46:04Bogo, are you kidding us?
00:46:06I am.
00:46:08Oh, Bogo, do you have those wireless cameras
00:46:10that we put up out of bedbushes?
00:46:12Maybe. Yeah?
00:46:14Come on, we're done.
00:46:16Hurry up, dude.
00:46:20This is your job, come on.
00:46:22Relax.
00:46:24I think it is in my bag.
00:46:26Okay, you think or you know, come on.
00:46:30Oh, perfect.
00:46:34Alright, forget what I said, Bogo.
00:46:36You rock.
00:46:38How are you going to make it stay?
00:46:40Just watch, okay? Trust me.
00:46:42Uh-huh.
00:46:44Uh-huh.
00:46:46You know what you're doing.
00:46:48I know what I'm doing.
00:47:02Oh, okay.
00:47:04Oh, yeah.
00:47:06I think we just found the perfect place
00:47:08for a disease. Come on.
00:47:10Let's go check it out.
00:47:12Do you hear that?
00:47:14What? Over there?
00:47:16You don't hear that sound?
00:47:18This?
00:47:20Like this?
00:47:22Oh, cut it out, Jack. Cut it out.
00:47:24Enough with the Sasha sound effect, Jack.
00:47:26Can you not just have some fun?
00:47:28This is not funny. We're having fun.
00:47:30It is not funny. It's not.
00:47:32Whatever, Sasha.
00:47:36Sasha, watch out!
00:47:40Oh, thank you so much, Jack.
00:47:42Thank you. Don't mention it.
00:47:44Thank you. I'm so grateful. No, no, seriously.
00:47:46Don't mention it ever again, okay?
00:47:48You're my hero, Jack.
00:47:50No, stop. Sasha, stop.
00:47:52Enough.
00:47:56Okay, so are we going or what?
00:47:58No, I'm not going in there.
00:48:00Why? Did you not hear what the professor said?
00:48:02So? And you're not afraid?
00:48:04No, I'm not afraid.
00:48:06Are you kidding me?
00:48:08Okay.
00:48:16Okay.
00:48:18Whatever.
00:48:20Bogo, come on.
00:48:30Shut up, Bogo.
00:48:32Scream like a woman.
00:48:34Don't tell Raven.
00:48:36Don't tell Raven.
00:48:42Oh.
00:48:44My. God.
00:48:48Wow.
00:48:52Whoa, did you get that, Bogo?
00:48:56Sasha!
00:48:58This place is freaking sick!
00:49:00It's creepy.
00:49:02But cool.
00:49:04Are you coming?
00:49:06Sasha!
00:49:08Hello?
00:49:10What the fuck?
00:49:14Bogo.
00:49:16Bogo, you got another one of those cameras?
00:49:18All right, come on, come on.
00:49:20Azizi!
00:49:22Azizi!
00:49:24Come on.
00:49:30Yeah.
00:49:32Awesome.
00:49:34Okay.
00:49:36Well.
00:49:38I guess a hero's job is never finished.
00:49:40Let's go find her, Bogo. Come on.
00:49:44Sasha!
00:49:46Sasha!
00:49:56I think she's over there.
00:49:58Come on, Bogo.
00:50:00Let's go.
00:50:02Fine.
00:50:06Well, well, well.
00:50:08I think I found her.
00:50:12Let's see what the princess is up to.
00:50:16Jack!
00:50:18What the hell are you doing?
00:50:20Busted! Oh, my God!
00:50:22Turn it off!
00:50:24No, I can't.
00:50:26Give me the phone!
00:50:28Give me the phone!
00:50:34Wow.
00:50:36Man.
00:50:38She was easy to rattle.
00:50:42Raven, on the other hand.
00:50:46She's gonna be a tougher nut to crack.
00:50:50Mr. Big?
00:50:52Nah.
00:50:55Let's go check him out.
00:51:00Hey, guys.
00:51:02Let's go see what Christ is up to.
00:51:06Raven!
00:51:10What do you see?
00:51:14Sasha?
00:51:16Jack, is that you?
00:51:18Sasha?
00:51:20Leave me alone.
00:51:22Jack, I said...
00:51:24Leave me the hell alone!
00:51:26Sasha.
00:51:28Leave me alone!
00:51:30Did you guys see anything?
00:51:32We saw something.
00:51:34More like a Sasquatch than a Z.
00:51:36Shut up! Shut the fuck up, Jack!
00:51:38Asshole!
00:51:40What did you do now, Wyatt?
00:51:42Don't do anything.
00:51:44You should probably go check on her.
00:51:46You two, go.
00:52:02Are you okay?
00:52:04I don't want to talk about it.
00:52:08Look.
00:52:10You know I got your back, right?
00:52:12He was disrespectful, okay?
00:52:16Did he hurt you?
00:52:18Look, I would go commando on his lily-white ass.
00:52:20No.
00:52:22It's nothing like that.
00:52:26He invaded my privacy and has refused
00:52:28to delete the recordings.
00:52:30Damn.
00:52:32I don't get it.
00:52:34I'm so sorry.
00:52:36I mean...
00:52:38I'm sorry.
00:52:40I mean...
00:52:42One minute he was so funny and nice.
00:52:46And I thought we had a thing.
00:52:50Just forget it.
00:52:52Just forget it.
00:52:54Wait.
00:52:56You like him.
00:52:58What?
00:53:00I mean...
00:53:02No.
00:53:04He's so annoying and crude.
00:53:06Don't.
00:53:08I just don't get it.
00:53:10Maybe...
00:53:14Maybe it's this.
00:53:16I don't expect that.
00:53:20What kind of a guy wants to be with a girl
00:53:22with a nappy hair?
00:53:24Maybe that's the reason
00:53:26he's acting all funny.
00:53:28I do not think
00:53:30that's why he's acting funny, okay?
00:53:32Look, I would totally date you
00:53:34if you were into that sort of thing.
00:53:37Hey, listen.
00:53:39The hair,
00:53:41the makeup,
00:53:43it's all just an accessory, okay?
00:53:45It's not a standard of beauty.
00:53:47Look, you are gorgeous.
00:53:49You think so?
00:53:51Of course I do.
00:53:55You've seen
00:53:57Big Brother, right?
00:53:59Yeah.
00:54:01Every single season.
00:54:03Right.
00:54:05You know that people do some crazy shit
00:54:07just to get others off their game.
00:54:11Yeah, I guess.
00:54:13Look,
00:54:15Jack is just playing the game.
00:54:17Right?
00:54:19So,
00:54:21what we're gonna do is put this wig back on
00:54:23and we're gonna go back out there.
00:54:25There is
00:54:27half a freaking million dollars
00:54:29on the line, girl.
00:54:31You got this.
00:54:39Bogo.
00:54:41Out.
00:54:43Okay.
00:54:59Big, we're playing here.
00:55:03Jesus.
00:55:09Check it out.
00:55:11Looks like the natives are restless.
00:55:13Stop it, Jack.
00:55:15What?
00:55:17Do you even realize how racist that sounds?
00:55:19It's a joke, Sasha.
00:55:21Stop it. It's not good. Come here.
00:55:23No, I'm good, actually.
00:55:25I've seen way too many white people
00:55:27try to dance to Afrobeat music.
00:55:29Whatever.
00:55:31So, tell me.
00:55:33Have you reconsidered deleting that video?
00:55:35You know, I have, actually.
00:55:37That's good.
00:55:39It's gonna cost you, though.
00:55:41What's that?
00:55:43Maybe a little kiss?
00:55:45Not a chance, Jack.
00:55:47Is it because I'm white?
00:55:49YouTube,
00:55:51just have a little fun.
00:55:53Loosen up. Come on.
00:55:55That's a good idea, Biggie.
00:55:57That's a great idea, actually.
00:55:59Raven.
00:56:01Raven, raven, raven.
00:56:03Jack, Jack, Jack.
00:56:05Quit the raven, nevermore.
00:56:07Hands off the beer now.
00:56:09Oh.
00:56:11Ex-military gamer.
00:56:13I bet you think you got
00:56:15this competition bagged and tagged,
00:56:17don't you?
00:56:19Welcome in, though.
00:56:25Get to the job.
00:56:27Get to the job.
00:56:31Jesus, Wyatt.
00:56:33You must really like the sound of your own voice.
00:56:35No.
00:56:37Not my feeling.
00:56:41What about you, brother?
00:56:45Humorous.
00:56:49You know what I want.
00:56:51Fair enough.
00:56:53Fair enough.
00:56:55Bogo, this way.
00:56:57Hey, Revan.
00:56:59Think fast.
00:57:01Wow, nice catch.
00:57:11Come on, Bogo.
00:57:19Yes.
00:57:21What is this thing, dude?
00:57:25Come on, let's go get one.
00:57:45Oh.
00:57:47Bet you see like a thousand,
00:57:49heck maybe even five thousand
00:57:51fireflies out here.
00:57:53Pretty cool.
00:57:55Tell you what I see.
00:57:57I see a big bump
00:57:59in my freaking bank account.
00:58:05Damn, Bogo, this is cool.
00:58:09What the fuck?
00:58:11Yo, what the fuck?
00:58:17That was weird, man.
00:58:19Let's get out of here.
00:58:23Let's go.
00:58:33What are you doing?
00:58:39Here.
00:58:41Where's my money?
00:58:47Where did you get it?
00:58:49Inside one of the cabinets from upstairs.
00:58:53Okay.
00:59:01Shit!
00:59:03What the hell? I'm going to kill him.
00:59:13What happened to what was in the jaw?
00:59:15I tossed it wide.
00:59:17You what? Why the hell would you do that?
00:59:19I didn't think it was a big deal,
00:59:21I'm sorry.
00:59:23Fuck!
00:59:37Come here.
00:59:39Alright.
00:59:41It's party time.
00:59:49It's going to be a long
00:59:51night.
00:59:57Hey, sirens.
00:59:59Remember the walk in the woods
01:00:01with Mr. Awesome?
01:00:03Yeah, let's just say he caught me
01:00:05in the most unflattering
01:00:07situation.
01:00:09My mission is to find the footage
01:00:11and delete it.
01:00:13Wish me luck, guys.
01:00:15Let's go.
01:00:39Oh my god.
01:00:41Do you see that?
01:00:51Oh shit!
01:00:53Gross.
01:01:09I'm flying, guys.
01:01:11Let's go.
01:01:19Jesus!
01:01:21You scared me.
01:01:23You do know footage is uploaded
01:01:25automatically to the cloud every night, right?
01:01:27Oh shit.
01:01:29Oh god, shit.
01:01:31Good luck.
01:01:33I'm going back to bed.
01:01:35Oh god.
01:01:39Okay, sirens.
01:01:41That was totally a wasted
01:01:43mission.
01:01:45Good night, guys.
01:01:55Hey.
01:01:57Who's been eating my stash?
01:01:59Don't look at me.
01:02:01Maybe it's him.
01:02:03He's been in there
01:02:05a while, hasn't he?
01:02:07Wyatt!
01:02:11Jack?
01:02:13Are you okay?
01:02:15Go away!
01:02:17Someone else might need to use the restroom.
01:02:25There's a whole force out there.
01:02:27That's Sasha.
01:02:29Oh, don't remind me, you asshole.
01:02:33Look,
01:02:35I know I haven't always been
01:02:37on my best behavior.
01:02:39Yeah, no shit.
01:02:41Sasha, I'm
01:02:43sorry.
01:02:45Jesus, Wyatt.
01:02:47You look like hell.
01:02:51No shit, Sherlock.
01:02:57I told you not to eat those berries.
01:02:59Wait a minute. He ate berries?
01:03:01Jack, what kind of berries were they?
01:03:03Would you people just shut
01:03:05your fucking traps about the berries?
01:03:07Hey!
01:03:09What do you mean by you people?
01:03:19Jack, are you okay?
01:03:21Checkmate.
01:03:23I don't feel well.
01:03:31Jack?
01:03:39Jack, seriously, are you okay?
01:03:41Sasha, don't you have some products to peddle
01:03:43to fittiest fat women or something?
01:03:45Hey, talk about no tact.
01:03:47Jack, not feeling well is not an excuse
01:03:49to act like an ass.
01:03:57Hey, Mr. Bick.
01:03:59Mr. Bick, he's burning up.
01:04:01Maybe we should send him home.
01:04:03You would like that, wouldn't you?
01:04:05Listen, man. She's just trying to
01:04:07help you.
01:04:09No, she's not.
01:04:11You heard her.
01:04:13She wants to send me home.
01:04:15You all want to get rid of me, huh?
01:04:17No, no, no. No one is trying to get rid of you.
01:04:19Hey, Jack, quite frankly, she's right.
01:04:21I prefer to have all hands
01:04:23on deck.
01:04:25I know exactly what's going on, Bicky.
01:04:27You don't fool me, man.
01:04:29Yeah.
01:04:31We do the cracker with some African juju
01:04:33bullshit.
01:04:35Guess what, Raven?
01:04:37It won't work.
01:04:39Back up.
01:04:45Sweet baby Jesus, you're in on it too, aren't you?
01:04:49You're the last one I expected.
01:04:51I know exactly
01:04:53what's going on, but go get that shit
01:04:55out of my face.
01:04:57Hey, Bogo.
01:04:59Yes, sir?
01:05:01Put on the camera. I need to get some more footage
01:05:03for my YouTube channel.
01:05:05Okay, sir.
01:05:07Yeah, right over here.
01:05:13Hey, Biggie.
01:05:15What up, Jack?
01:05:17I need to ask you
01:05:19a question.
01:05:21What?
01:05:23Where's my money?
01:05:25What money?
01:05:27What are you talking about?
01:05:29You know, catch the ads
01:05:31ain't money.
01:05:33You mean that firefly in the jar
01:05:35wasn't a joke?
01:05:39A joke?
01:05:41That's bullshit!
01:05:43I won this competition fair and square!
01:05:45Easy!
01:05:47Jack, what are you doing?
01:05:49Raven, no!
01:05:51Raven!
01:05:53Jack, what are you doing with my weapon?
01:05:55Jack, look, that's not a toy.
01:05:57Damn straight, I know it's not a toy!
01:05:59All right.
01:06:01Where's my money?
01:06:03Where's my money?!
01:06:05Hey, Biggie, Biggie, you know what?
01:06:07Jack's right, all right?
01:06:09He won the competition, right?
01:06:11So if I were you,
01:06:13I'd give him exactly
01:06:15what he deserves, all right?
01:06:17Yeah.
01:06:19All right, I'll get your money.
01:06:21Just stop pointing that thing at me, okay?
01:06:23Hurry up!
01:06:25Hey, Jack, just calm down, all right?
01:06:27He's gonna get it.
01:06:29He won.
01:06:31He did a good game.
01:06:35Hurry up, Biggie!
01:06:39Awesome.
01:06:49Oh, my God!
01:06:51Stop it! Stop it!
01:06:53Oh, my goodness!
01:06:55Oh, my God!
01:06:57I think it's possessed.
01:06:59Okay, Sasha, calm down.
01:07:01Oh, my goodness, yes, I saw a firefly
01:07:03on him last night.
01:07:05That's a reasonable explanation for all of this.
01:07:07What else could it be?
01:07:09We have already ruled out the Blue Bear.
01:07:11That's why I need to know exactly what happened
01:07:13while y'all were out there.
01:07:15I don't know. I don't know.
01:07:17Cave. Sasha, go to the cave.
01:07:19What cave?
01:07:21She told me she and Jack went to some cave and got swarmed by bats.
01:07:23Did you get bitten?
01:07:25I don't know. I don't know. I was outside.
01:07:27Did you go inside?
01:07:29I don't know. He went inside me.
01:07:31I don't know.
01:07:33I don't know, sir.
01:07:35Oh, my goodness, Jack.
01:07:37Hyperactivity, delusions,
01:07:39aggressive behavior,
01:07:41forming at the mouth.
01:07:43From what I know about wildlife,
01:07:45rabies.
01:07:47Oh, my goodness.
01:07:49Bogo, are you okay?
01:07:51I'm okay, sir.
01:07:53Are you sure?
01:07:55Let me take this from you.
01:08:01Wakey, wakey.
01:08:07Sasha.
01:08:11Sasha, untie me, please.
01:08:13Please, Sasha.
01:08:15I can't.
01:08:17I can't. I can't. I can't.
01:08:19I can't untie you.
01:08:21Untie me, you bitch.
01:08:23I swear to God, I'm going to rip your hair out of your fucking head.
01:08:25No.
01:08:29Sasha, I didn't mean it.
01:08:31Sasha, I didn't mean it. I'm sorry.
01:08:33Jack,
01:08:35we think you may have rabies.
01:08:39Are you fucking joking?
01:08:41I'm not.
01:08:43Bogo
01:08:45and Sasha are going to stay here with you
01:08:47just to keep an eye on you.
01:08:49And then I'll take you to the nearest hospital
01:08:51just to be safe.
01:08:53No, you're not fine.
01:08:55Jack, you're not fine. Look at your eyes, Jack.
01:08:57You're not fine, Jack.
01:08:59No, you're not. He's not fine.
01:09:07Jack,
01:09:09Raven and I are going to go back to the cave,
01:09:11grab one of those bats
01:09:13just to be sure.
01:09:15Okay?
01:09:17Here are the treatment for rabies.
01:09:19And?
01:09:21And
01:09:23we do not want to see you suffer.
01:09:25Okay?
01:09:31Sasha,
01:09:33Jack,
01:09:35I'm sorry, Jack.
01:09:37I can't do anything.
01:09:39I'm sorry.
01:09:43Bogo.
01:09:45Yes, sir.
01:09:47You know what to do.
01:09:49Yes, sir.
01:10:07What's with the gun?
01:10:11Single black female
01:10:13alone in the middle of North Georgia?
01:10:15Come on, baby.
01:10:17Fair enough.
01:10:19But I do have a question of my own.
01:10:21Shoot.
01:10:23Out of all the social media influencers,
01:10:25why Sasha?
01:10:27Why Jack?
01:10:29Why Raven?
01:10:31Why Bogo?
01:10:33Why Raven?
01:10:35Why Sasha?
01:10:37Why Jack?
01:10:39And why me?
01:10:41Why not? Does it even really matter now?
01:10:43Yeah, so quit stalling.
01:10:45Enviable qualities.
01:10:47Remember?
01:10:49Look,
01:10:51Sasha is the proverbial queen bee
01:10:53of fashion and beauty influencers.
01:10:55You're a kick-ass gamer
01:10:57with unrivaled tactical prowess.
01:10:59And Jack?
01:11:01Well, Jack is Jack.
01:11:03We're all bait.
01:11:05All except you.
01:11:07Ever met anyone who doesn't want to be a millionaire?
01:11:13Give me one of the gloves
01:11:15so we can grab one of these suckers and go.
01:11:17Did you hear that?
01:11:27Someone's out there.
01:11:35Raven, you have to stay out of this.
01:11:37I don't want you to get hurt.
01:11:39I don't want you to get hurt.
01:11:41I don't want you to get hurt.
01:11:43I don't want you to get hurt.
01:11:45Raven, you have to see this.
01:12:03Oh, shit.
01:12:05Raven, we have to go.
01:12:07Jack's in real danger.
01:12:11Raven?
01:12:15Raven?
01:12:21Game on.
01:12:27Sasha?
01:12:29Sasha, where are you?
01:12:41Ada?
01:12:45Fatanma, is that you?
01:12:55I know that is not my sister.
01:12:59I'm not afraid.
01:13:07Sasha?
01:13:15Oh, shit.
01:13:17Oh, shit.
01:13:23Okay.
01:13:25You got me.
01:13:31Raven!
01:13:33Oh, shit.
01:13:35Fuck.
01:13:37Fuck.
01:13:41Jack?
01:13:46What's up, biggie?
01:13:51Here, Jack.
01:13:53I have something for you.
01:13:57Oh, yeah?
01:14:01You brought me a present.
01:14:03Here.
01:14:05Take it.
01:14:07A gift for a gift.
01:14:09I know you got a big kick out of it earlier.
01:14:11Knock it off, Jack.
01:14:13This is serious.
01:14:19You're no fun.
01:14:21Here, Jack.
01:14:23This will help you.
01:14:27Take it.
01:14:29Take it.
01:14:31No, Jack.
01:14:43Oh, brother.
01:14:47You got to do better than that.
01:14:53You know, this stuff's not too shabby
01:14:55once you get used to it.
01:14:59I got to be honest, Mr. Big.
01:15:03I need something a little more filling.
01:15:13No!
01:15:27No, no, no.
01:15:29Jack, stop!
01:15:43Fuck.
01:16:13Shit.
01:16:27Raven!
01:16:31Oh, my God.
01:16:33Shit, shit, shit, shit.
01:16:43Fuck.
01:16:55Oh, my God!
01:16:57Oh, my God!
01:16:59Oh, shit.
01:17:05Oh, my God.
01:17:13Oh, shit.
01:17:15Oh, shit.
01:17:27Fuck, this shit.
01:17:31Where are my keys?
01:17:33Where are my keys?
01:17:43Your words are meaningless.
01:18:12They have no power.
01:18:17Leave me alone!
01:18:21Solus, what do you want?
01:18:28Oh, you should have thought about that before you dismissed my existence.
01:18:33Mama, if you're watching, you were right. I was wrong. I'm sorry. I should have believed you.
01:18:50I love you, Mama. I'm so, so sorry.
01:18:56Where are you? Show yourself!
01:19:56Could I get my money?
01:20:17If I could just hand me your NDAs on the way out, thank you so much.
01:20:20Thank you, thank you, thank you. Signed, perfect, thank you. Huh?
01:20:28I think you have something that belongs to me.
01:20:30Oh, yeah. I told you it was in good hands. Thank you for coming. Perfect, thank you.
01:20:37Thank you, guys.
01:20:39Sir, thank you.
01:20:40Bon appétit.
01:20:51Adam, can you give me a minute, please?
01:21:02Young man, the presentation is over.
01:21:16Hello, Professor.
01:21:20I'm bored. I know. I'm bored.