Taskmaster (UK) S18E07
Taskmaster (UK) S18E07
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TVTranscription
00:31Bonjour et bienvenue à Taskmaster.
00:36La réponse à la question
00:38« Qu'est-ce si cinq personnes éloigneraient les opportunités
00:40accordées par les parents et l'éducation
00:42en cherchant un prix démonstrablement inévitable? »
00:45Nous sommes à la moitié du point maintenant.
00:47Littéralement, n'importe qui des cinq
00:49pourrait prendre la place supérieure.
00:51Ils ont besoin de travailler fort.
00:53Ou, comme tant d'héros précédents,
00:55venir à ma salle de dresse
00:57avec un sac à chaussures rempli de poisson de qualité.
01:00« Papa aime les grillés mélangés! »
01:04Rassemblons-nous à Andy Zoltsman,
01:08Mme Bunday-Lusher,
01:11Emma Sidney,
01:13Jack Day,
01:15Rosie Jones,
01:18et, à côté de moi, un homme qui m'a confié
01:21qu'il considère les gens qui travaillent pour le service de feu
01:24comme les moins intelligents
01:26de toute l'équipe d'urgence.
01:29« C'est le petit Alex Horne! »
01:32Applaudissements
01:34Applaudissements
01:36Rassemblons-nous à la tâche du prix.
01:38Quel est le catégorie, petit Alex Horne?
01:40Eh bien, arrêtez-vous là, monsieur.
01:42Rires
01:43Parce que vous avez été demandé d'amener
01:45la chose qui est la meilleure
01:47quand vous ajoutez du liquide.
01:49Jack, quelle chose avez-vous acheté?
01:51Si vous ajoutez de l'eau, c'est bon.
01:53J'ai acheté une piscine.
01:55Je pense que c'est ça, n'est-ce pas?
01:57C'est plutôt une piscine, oui.
01:59Et voilà.
02:01C'est dans une boîte.
02:02Je me suis convaincu qu'il y avait quelque chose de drôle là-haut.
02:05Rires
02:06C'est littéralement juste...
02:08Je ne dis pas que c'est drôle,
02:10je dis que c'est une piscine.
02:12Rires
02:13Vous voulez voir la preuve que c'est mieux avec de l'eau?
02:15C'est la preuve.
02:16C'est parti.
02:17Rires
02:20C'est comme ça que j'exerce tous les matins.
02:23Applaudissements
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07:55ALPHA
07:58Regardless of the
08:11et le connecter.
08:13Vous devez donner à l'robot une instruction à chaque 10 secondes.
08:18L'robot ignorera les instructions qui contiennent les lettres O ou E.
08:24Vous ne pouvez pas toucher à l'robot.
08:30Le plus rapide gagne.
08:32Votre temps commence maintenant.
08:34OK, ça a l'air d'être un total souffle.
08:37Vous pensez-vous que vous avez parfois perdu un peu la joie de la vie ?
08:45Même quand vous êtes arrivé, tout le monde disait « Oh, un robot ! »
08:48Et vous vous êtes dit « Bonjour, Alex ».
08:51Quand j'ai regardé, j'ai écrit « Emma's response to the robot was odd.
08:55Ask her to explain it. »
08:56C'est... Qu'est-ce que tu appelles ça ?
08:59Oh, Dieu.
09:00Plutonic Arousal.
09:02Oh, le vieux PH.
09:05C'est comme l'opposé d'un phobie.
09:07J'adore les mascottes, Mr Blobby...
09:11Tu aimes les choses à l'extérieur du garage de pétrole ?
09:13Oui, absolument.
09:16Les grosses, stupides choses.
09:20Oui.
09:23Elle sait que j'ai un diplôme, non ?
09:26OK, on va commencer avec un peu d'Android Andy et Robot Rosie.
09:30C'est la station de chargement ici ?
09:33Turn to...
09:36No.
09:37Oh, putain.
09:38Est-ce que c'est valable de partir de cette pièce ?
09:40Beaucoup d'O, beaucoup d'E.
09:42Turn this way.
09:48Est-ce que la station de chargement est quelque part sur vous ?
09:53Oh, désolé, c'est un bon point.
09:55Back.
10:00Yes !
10:02No.
10:05Turn.
10:06Ah, c'est si simple.
10:08Ne touche pas au robot.
10:10Sing.
10:16Je dois vraiment avoir une station de chargement.
10:25Eat, eat this.
10:28Where's the fucking charging station ?
10:32Oh, shit.
10:34Find...
10:38Walk.
10:39Walk.
10:40Walk.
10:41Walk.
10:42Walk.
10:43In...
10:44Charge main.
10:46Walk.
10:48Stairs.
10:49Stairs.
10:53Start jumps.
10:58Hold.
11:00Hold.
11:01Pardon ?
11:04Je vais regarder dehors.
11:05OK.
11:11Oh, putain.
11:14Yes !
11:16Walk.
11:20Hold.
11:23Instructions, s'il vous plaît.
11:25Oh, non.
11:27No.
11:28Left.
11:29No.
11:30Not right.
11:32Right.
11:33This is why we shouldn't trust technology.
11:41Hazard.
11:42Hazard.
11:43Hazard.
11:47Oh, hedge.
11:48Cow.
11:53Stop.
11:54Right.
11:58Yeah !
12:00Hang on, hang on.
12:01Sit, sit.
12:06Thank you, Andy.
12:07I would say you're welcome,
12:08but they would be hollow, hollow words.
12:19When I thought,
12:20Mosey-Jones was going to nail this task,
12:22you walked the robot away from the charging station
12:26and made it stand on a piece of cardboard.
12:33It looked like a piece of cardboard.
12:38Andy.
12:39Yes.
12:40The only words I could make out were star jumps, I heard.
12:43Yeah.
12:44And then when you got outside, fucking cock.
12:47Yeah.
12:48Just trying to stay calm here, Greg.
12:51OK.
12:52Time for Alex to stop for a few minutes of mindfulness.
12:55Close your eyes.
12:56Breathe deeply.
13:11Thank you.
13:12Welcome back.
13:13Here we are again, safe and sound in part two.
13:16Yeah, safe and sound here, sure,
13:18but not so safe in the house, Greg,
13:20because there's a bloody robot on the loose.
13:22Three people left, it's Emma, Baba and Jacka.
13:26Charging station.
13:28Walk.
13:30Walk at charging station.
13:32No.
13:33Why?
13:34Station.
13:35BUZZER
13:36OK.
13:37This way.
13:39This way.
13:40This way.
13:41This way.
13:42This way.
13:43Um...
13:44Uh...
13:45Um...
13:46Hang on, what...
13:48Laugh.
13:52Walk at charging plug.
13:58Find...
14:01Find plug.
14:07Laugh.
14:11Laugh.
14:14This way.
14:15This way.
14:16This way.
14:17This way.
14:18Where's that charging station?
14:20Laugh!
14:23Laugh!
14:25Laugh!
14:27Oh!
14:28Laugh!
14:31I found it, robot!
14:33OK.
14:36Stay.
14:37Stay.
14:38I mean, you're useless at this.
14:44This way.
14:45This way.
14:46Yes.
14:47No!
14:48Oh, I can't touch it!
14:50Oh!
14:52Crawl.
14:56Oh, my God!
14:58OK.
15:02Laugh.
15:06Wait.
15:08It must be out here.
15:10Pursuit.
15:11Follow.
15:12Follow.
15:13Come.
15:15Move.
15:16Oh!
15:17Walk.
15:18Walk.
15:19Where's this charging port?
15:20What?
15:21Oh!
15:22Ah!
15:23I know.
15:24I know.
15:25Turn lady.
15:26Turn lady.
15:27Small.
15:28Small.
15:29Walk.
15:31Cease.
15:32Um...
15:33Wait.
15:36Pursuit.
15:38Turn.
15:41This way.
15:42This way.
15:43Stairs.
15:44Stairs.
15:45Run, lady!
15:46Run, lady!
15:48Run!
15:49Wait.
15:50Follow.
15:52Left.
15:53Left.
15:54Wait.
15:55Wait.
15:56What are you doing?
15:58Pursuit.
15:59Quick.
16:02Run, my lady.
16:03Run, my lady.
16:04This way.
16:05This way.
16:06This way.
16:07Wait.
16:08Turn.
16:09Wait.
16:10Laugh.
16:14Oh!
16:15Oh!
16:17You charging?
16:18Charging.
16:20Thank you.
16:21You're welcome.
16:28This is the only task where I was going to...
16:31I don't feel good saying this.
16:33Oh, my God, this is so not my character.
16:35I'm going to floor that robot.
16:37That didn't come across at all.
16:39It didn't because I hide it so well.
16:41Jack, did you enjoy that?
16:42You looked quite annoyed by the robot.
16:44It was annoying.
16:45I'd forgotten which vowels he couldn't use.
16:47But you settled on one instruction in the end.
16:49Pursuit.
16:50Which is quite strange.
16:52It is.
16:53But it did work, actually.
16:54It did work.
16:55Jack really laughed hard
16:56when the robot revealed his charging station
16:58was near his bottom.
17:00Do you want the times?
17:01Tell me some times.
17:02Well, Andy, 21 minutes.
17:03Rosie, 16.
17:0440.
17:05Jack was 9 minutes, 3 seconds.
17:06Bubba, 7 minutes, 39.
17:08But Emma, 6 minutes, 56.
17:105 points to Emma City.
17:15What's that done to the scores, Alex?
17:17Well, I can tell you this.
17:18She's not won an episode yet.
17:19She's the only one who hasn't.
17:20But Emma is in the lead with 10 points.
17:26What is next?
17:28I can tell you.
17:31I'm afraid the cast have created quite the stink.
17:34Ooh.
17:40...
17:47Oh, sorry, sorry.
17:50Hello, Emma.
17:51Hello, how are you?
17:56Hi, Alex.
17:57Good to see you're using the bat, finally.
18:00Well, you never know, do you?
18:03OK.
18:05Make the strongest smell.
18:11The strongest smell?
18:13You must seal your smell in this jar
18:17and the taskmaster will open it in the studio.
18:20You have 20 minutes.
18:22Your time starts now.
18:26You want me to fart in it?
18:29No, no, I'll do that.
18:31I'm sorry what I'm about to do.
18:38Make the strongest smell, OK.
18:40Yeah, so strongest smell but not nastiest smell.
18:43There could be an ice smell.
18:45Right, well, I'm going to go and look.
18:47I mean, there's one of these air fresheners here.
18:49If that...
18:51If that's probably got a battery in it,
18:53if that's just constantly squirting stuff out...
18:57I don't want to ming him out.
18:59Do you know what I mean?
19:01Milk.
19:03Imagine that in three months.
19:07We're going to make magic here, Alex.
19:12A bit of science going on there, by the looks of it.
19:14Like growing?
19:15Yeah.
19:16Is it meant to be growing?
19:17We'll let it grow if it wants to grow.
19:21Oh!
19:22That's strong.
19:26What do you think? Can you smell it yet?
19:29It's quite subtle, isn't it?
19:31Shit.
19:42Let's shake it.
19:44Oh, Jesus!
19:49I hope you like Marmite, fam.
19:51Mm.
19:52No?
19:53Swear down.
19:54I don't mind it.
19:55No, bro, like, live your truth.
19:57If you like it, you like it.
19:58Well, I can take it or leave it.
20:02He's going to have the shock of his life, bro.
20:05I think that one's...
20:07That one's a bit stronger.
20:09You are putting in some things that get rid of stubborn smells.
20:12I hadn't really thought of that.
20:15That's probably the best idea anyone would have had.
20:17Cos everyone else would be going out,
20:19finding smelly stuff to put in the jar.
20:21Not you.
20:22Not me.
20:23No, I'm in my own league.
20:26That's for you, my guy.
20:28You finished, have you?
20:29Yeah.
20:30OK.
20:32Oh, that's coming up lovely.
20:33Where's my grater?
20:39It's quite nice.
20:40It doesn't smell of anything, does it?
20:43You're going to need to seal it up in the next four seconds.
20:45All right, I've got it.
20:49Can I shake it?
20:50I'm not sure that's wise.
20:52Right.
20:56As if by magic, this has appeared.
20:58Underneath each pictured sheath is their jar.
21:00The thing is, though, Greg,
21:01do you think some people are more observant than others?
21:03Yes.
21:04Well, I do want to show you this.
21:06All right.
21:07Make the strongest smell.
21:09Oh!
21:12Oh!
21:13You must smell your smell in the studio
21:16before the taskmaster smells your smell.
21:20If you refuse to smell your smell,
21:23the taskmaster will not smell your smell
21:25and you will receive zero points.
21:27So, is that to sort of...
21:29discourage poos?
21:33No, we didn't put that to discourage poos.
21:35You can still put poo in it if you want.
21:41I should probably say this one.
21:43We have run this by lawyers and scientists.
21:45Wow.
21:46And they do say, when smelling the jars,
21:48it shouldn't be a deep breath.
21:50A shortish sniff is the best option.
21:53They also shouldn't be sticking their nose
21:55right into the glass jar.
21:56It is just strongest smell, that's all we want.
21:58Strongest, right.
21:59So it doesn't have to be foulest.
22:01You monster.
22:03Honestly,
22:05about every other day,
22:08I've been thinking...
22:14I'm really excited.
22:18Rosie called it,
22:19eggy, milky, cheesy surprise.
22:21The only surprise is going to be,
22:23as well as puking,
22:24am I going to shit myself?
22:27Let's start with a person
22:28who knew the right thing to do.
22:30Emma, please step behind your sheath.
22:33So what you're going to do, Emma,
22:35is unsheath your jar and then put your sheath...
22:39It's clearly a cardboard box.
22:41You're going to put your pictured sheath
22:43behind your jar.
22:44Lovely.
22:45And then pop your jar on top of your pictured sheath.
22:47That's perfect.
22:48That should be about the right height and angle.
22:50Sheath, jar, sniff.
22:51Sniff and jar.
22:54That was bloody strong.
22:58Thank you, Emma.
23:00All right.
23:01This is going to set the bar.
23:02It's perfume, tea and fruit.
23:09At best, mild.
23:15Genuinely spa-like.
23:17I feel relaxed.
23:18Great.
23:19OK, Baba, you're up next.
23:21Baba, everybody.
23:22Lovely.
23:26That looks evil.
23:30No.
23:35I was going to say,
23:36we didn't know if he'd breathed in or out there,
23:38but I think we know.
23:39I feel light-headed.
23:40I thought Baba was disappointed initially
23:42and then I thought his eyes were actually going to come out.
23:47Yeah.
23:52It's got a bit of power to it, all right.
23:54Did you get the marmite?
23:56I felt that broke through.
23:59I smell marmite from here.
24:01That was unpleasant.
24:03Emma's was like wandering around a Laura Ashley shop.
24:06Right.
24:07Let's stop for a break and to counteract
24:09the mindless consumerism you're about to watch,
24:11some Shakespeare.
24:13If thou wert my fool,
24:15I'd have thee beaten for being old before thy time.
24:18How's that?
24:20Thou shouldst not have been old till thou hadst been wise.
24:24Oh, let me not be mad.
24:27Not mad, sweet heaven, I would not be mad.
24:31Keep me in temper, I would not be mad.
24:36Right, you can go and buy an air fryer now.
24:38Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
25:09Jésus Christ.
25:13It retained its colour.
25:29And now you can go.
25:33Fine.
25:39I like it.
25:41Right, you go up.
25:43Thank you, Rosie.
25:47I thought that would be...
25:50Well, it's been airtight for 14 weeks, so...
25:52Yeah, you're right not to trust her, I think.
25:55I don't trust her.
25:57And the reason I'm dragging this out a bit
25:59is I just want to wait to see if you puke up.
26:05Ah.
26:08I'm annoyed.
26:11Oh, this is about fire.
26:13Yeah.
26:14My God.
26:15I actually think this smells less than Emma's flower shop.
26:22OK, well, it's Jack next with his air freshener.
26:25We do have to read a word of warning
26:27about this highly pressurised jar, first of all.
26:30Do not ingest.
26:31Avoid contact with eyes, skin and clothing.
26:33Avoid breathing gas, avoid breathing vapour or mist.
26:35Use only with adequate ventilation.
26:37Good.
26:42This is quite dangerous, isn't it?
26:44OK.
26:48Ooh!
26:49Ooh, it popped all right.
26:51That's lively, isn't it? Yeah.
26:55Well, it smells like a disgusting air freshener.
26:58It's coming straight away.
27:00There it is.
27:01Did you get the cool elegance of fine linen?
27:08Oh!
27:10That is unpleasant.
27:13Ooh, that's like my nan's come back to life.
27:21OK, one left.
27:22Finally...
27:24Ooh, that has made me feel a bit funny, actually.
27:29OK, one left.
27:30Finally, with a blend of mouthwash, de-icer,
27:32oven cleaner, raspberry bath, pearls,
27:34stain remover, malt vinegar, cider vinegar,
27:36moisturising cream, vague, alcohol, liquid,
27:38grated wellies, hair wax, eight dishwasher tablets,
27:40flowers, a brain candle, sardines and a goblin fart,
27:43it's Andy's Osman.
27:50Oh!
27:51That looks like something.
28:00Count to three.
28:02Oh!
28:11That's awful!
28:12That's...
28:13That's how I'm going to remember you.
28:18Close it.
28:19Ooh, get fucked!
28:26Oh, that is...
28:28That is...
28:30Oh, that is unpleasant.
28:32Yeah, that's not nice.
28:33That is unholy, actually.
28:35Really unusual, really unusual mix.
28:37But I'm not marking it on grossness,
28:39I'm marking it on strength, aren't I?
28:41Strength of smell.
28:42Your delicious yoghurt-y breakfast barely smells at all.
28:45Yeah!
28:46So that's one point to Rosie.
28:48I'm afraid so, yeah.
28:49Next up, it was Emma's delightful stroll through the countryside.
28:53Yeah.
28:54So two to Emma.
28:55Yeah.
28:56Proudly take that.
28:57If there were style points, Andy would win,
28:59cos it's one of the worst smells I've ever smelt.
29:02But in terms of the power...
29:03The power.
29:04Andy would be three points.
29:06Oh!
29:07And then Baba's Marmite & Coffee would be four.
29:10And the most powerful smell,
29:11if that's what I'm judging on, strength of smell...
29:13Which it is.
29:14..would be Jack T.
29:15Well, there we go, five points to our 100 points.
29:22A round of applause for the task, please, Alex.
29:24And finally...
29:28..Jack T.
29:39Oh!
29:41Lovely!
29:43Hello.
29:44Hello!
29:45Hi, Alex. You all right?
29:46Yes, I am. Yeah, nice to see you both.
29:48Good.
29:49Matching outfits.
29:53Shall I open it?
29:54Yeah, you have to.
29:55All right.
29:56You well?
29:58Adequate.
30:00Present the most heart-warming final story
30:07for the local news programme.
30:12You have half an hour
30:14and your story must last no more than two minutes.
30:17Your time starts now.
30:19Has the story got to be true?
30:24Well, do you want to go and do some actual journalism?
30:27Yeah.
30:28Yeah.
30:29You could just go out there and...
30:31Find a person.
30:33Find a person, yeah.
30:35We could be barbecuing some actual hearts,
30:37that would be literally heart-warming.
30:40There's something in it.
30:42It's usually that thing, you know.
30:44And finally, a baby panda has been born.
30:47Babies are cute.
30:49Not everyone likes babies that much.
30:51Usually they're puppies and stuff,
30:53and more, you know, they're more heart-warming, aren't they?
30:56Yeah.
30:58Birth is always, you know...
31:00Birth is good.
31:01Birth is good.
31:02What if giving birth to something unexpected?
31:04The gerbil that gave birth to a car.
31:07Well, the news broadcast starts in 27 minutes.
31:10Nice one.
31:11Let's do it, let's do it.
31:12Come on.
31:18You get us to think of a heart-warming story.
31:21Zaltzman says, what if we burn a heart
31:24and Jack D crashes it with, not everyone likes babies?
31:28Let's see these news teams in action.
31:30OK, it's time to switch over now to Croydon today
31:33with Anna, Baba and Emma.
31:35Unfortunately, the largest of the crocodiles is still at large.
31:39And finally, some heart-warming local news now.
31:42We meet the local woman who is potentially about to become
31:45the oldest winner of the Tour de France.
31:48Mrs Isabella Cratchington is on track
31:50to win the coveted yellow jersey.
31:52We join our cycling correspondent, Gogo Jenkins,
31:55as he finds out how she's getting along.
31:57Gogo.
31:59Gogo.
32:01Gogo Jenkins, are you there?
32:04Gogo, mate.
32:06Gogo.
32:07Hi, Sophie.
32:08Yes, I'm here at the Champs-Élysées in Paris,
32:11where the atmosphere is tense,
32:13as we await what could potentially be
32:15the oldest person to compete and win the Tour de France.
32:18Now, this tournament has been full of ups and downs...
32:22I can confirm, Isabella is our new champion.
32:25Now, there will be doping checks,
32:27which, in this case, she most likely will fail.
32:30Hi, I'm here with the winner of the Tour de France,
32:33Isabella Cratchington.
32:34Isabella, what was your strategy?
32:36Well, to get to the end in a shorter time than everyone else.
32:40Now, Isabella, I have to ask you,
32:42what are your thoughts on performance-enhancing drugs
32:45in this competition?
32:47Well, I would say it's never been proved, has it?
32:51There's no proof, it's hearsay, and it's fine.
32:55Thank you very much. Back to you at the studio.
32:58Gogo, I know that woman,
33:01and I know for a fact that she should not be there.
33:06That's all from us. Have a lovely weekend,
33:08and do remember that the new volcano
33:10will erupt on Saturday at 7pm.
33:12Stay safe. Bye-bye.
33:14APPLAUDISSEMENTS
33:45LAUGHTER
34:10APPLAUSE
34:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
34:20Hello! Welcome back to the final part of Taskmaster,
34:24where there are some local news stations
34:27wrapping up their shows with a final heart-warming story.
34:30Bang on, Big Bum, and we end...
34:32LAUGHTER
34:34..with a fresh look for anchor Jack Dee
34:36and his roving reporter, Rosie Jones.
34:39Makes you think, doesn't it?
34:41People like that make me sick.
34:44And finally, viewers may recall the story
34:47of Harold the Lonely Hedgehog,
34:49who was found at a bus stop in Lewisham,
34:51crying real tears of loneliness.
34:53Many of you viewers have been in touch,
34:55asking for an update on Harold's progress.
34:58And I'm happy to report that Rosie Jones,
35:00our roaming reporter, has some heart-warming news.
35:04Rosie.
35:05Thanks, Jack.
35:07I'm not in a lovely, warm studio
35:12like you are.
35:14I'm doing the real work.
35:18Harold the Hedgehog has met a friend.
35:25Harold and Rosie have bonded
35:29over their mutual love
35:33of leaves, mud and crickets.
35:39Back to our own prickly hedgehog
35:45in the studio, Jack.
35:49Thanks, Rosie.
35:50Not sure I'm really actually that prickly,
35:52but anyway, thank you for joining us.
35:54I hope you found that a heart-warming story.
35:56I know we certainly did.
35:57Thanks to Rosie Jones there out in the field.
36:00Join us again same time tomorrow on Lookout.
36:02I'm Jack Dee, and that's all that matters.
36:05Are you prickly?
36:08LAUGHTER
36:10APPLAUSE
36:38I'd have that man arrested based on looks alone.
36:42There seemed to be some sort of tension
36:44between your two characters, Rosie.
37:00I had no idea there was such a complicated dynamic.
37:06It's a program where two people have to work together every day
37:10but absolutely loathe each other.
37:12I can't remember where I got the idea from.
37:16That's all a smoke screen.
37:18We are lovers.
37:21LAUGHTER
37:24I enjoyed them both.
37:26I think there's one point in between the two teams.
37:28OK.
37:29I preferred the old lady.
37:31How many points do you want to give that team?
37:33Four.
37:34Well done. There we go.
37:36APPLAUSE
37:42OK, well, in the series, it's tight.
37:45Just 12 points separating the five of them.
37:47Rosie's on 67, Emma 72, Andy also 72,
37:50Baba's in second place on 75,
37:52Jack's in the lead on 79 at the moment.
37:55APPLAUSE
37:57In today's leaderboard, she's still in the lead now on 16 points.
38:00Emma Sidney's in first place.
38:03APPLAUSE
38:06Exciting stuff.
38:07OK, please, head up to the stage, the final task of the day!
38:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
38:17Hey, you, who's reading the task out today?
38:20Ronnie O'Sullivan... Andy Zaltzman.
38:22LAUGHTER
38:24Land your skydiver closest to the seal.
38:27You must catapult your skydiver with the catapult
38:31furthest from the target each round is eliminated.
38:34Last player standing wins.
38:36OK, first up, she's in the lead, it's Emma Sidney.
38:38Please approach the camera.
38:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
38:43Let's dance.
38:45Oh!
38:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
38:50We'll be measuring from the little skydiver, not the parachute,
38:53so that's in the second red. Not bad.
38:55Jack D's up next.
38:56Good luck, my friend.
38:59Ah, French resistance.
39:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
39:07Lovely action.
39:08Lovely landing.
39:09Jack is safely through to round two.
39:11Next up, Baba.
39:13Good luck.
39:14Lovely action.
39:15Whoa!
39:16Lovely.
39:17He's going for it.
39:18Whoa!
39:20Yeah!
39:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
39:24Andy Zaltzman.
39:26The commitment to holding the cue is incredible.
39:29Zaltzman.
39:33It's high.
39:34Oh!
39:39Andy, you're in trouble.
39:40Unless Rosie Jones does worse.
39:42Good luck, Rosie.
39:43I'll say it before you all say it.
39:48I'm going to be shit.
39:53I swear, fucking fag.
40:04Andy is eliminated.
40:08Right, it's round two, Greg. Hello.
40:10Hello, there.
40:11It's Emma up first, of course. Emma, please reapproach.
40:13Emma, all to play for for Emma City.
40:15Lovely.
40:16Lovely.
40:17Lovely.
40:18Go!
40:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
40:23Jack, you're up next.
40:24Is the little man actually on the seal?
40:26It's unbelievable.
40:27It's almost, yeah.
40:28Good luck, then.
40:29He's breathing!
40:32He is breathing.
40:37Oh!
40:42He's in trouble.
40:47Baba, you're up next if you want to approach the catapult.
40:53It's very flat.
40:54Oh, Baba, that's controversial.
41:08Well, you've got a chance, Rosie.
41:09You've got to not hit an audience member to get through to the next round.
41:13I might as well sit here, bro.
41:14All right, yeah.
41:19The guy with the eye out.
41:23Oh!
41:30BUZZER
41:31Emma, it's round three.
41:32If you get through this, you're in the final.
41:34Great. Come on, then.
41:35We're doing this for the brunettes.
41:37Yeah, baby!
41:41Oh!
41:44The heights you've fallen from, you were on the wood last time.
41:47Shut up!
41:49Jack, you're on next.
41:50Good luck, Jack.
41:52Ha!
41:56I told you, that's gamesmanship. I'm sorry, there.
42:01Put his legs first, yeah.
42:02Legs first.
42:05That's going to take some Zayac's.
42:07Oh!
42:10Jack is in the final.
42:16Rosie, will you join us?
42:19It's live, isn't it?
42:23Oh!
42:27Yeah!
42:28APPLAUSE
42:29We have a final.
42:30We've lost to Emma City.
42:31BUZZER
42:36I won't say good luck, Jackie,
42:40and if you want to beat me,
42:44a disabled girl...
42:46LAUGHTER
42:50..you do you.
42:53So, is it compassion or victory that's more important to Jack?
42:57Let's find out.
43:00APPLAUSE
43:11Oh, fuck!
43:13Oh!
43:22I think blue first.
43:23Peel blue, yeah.
43:24Wait, let's see.
43:25Oh, my God.
43:26There he is, just on the edge of red.
43:29Jack wins!
43:30APPLAUSE
43:33We'll be back after the final scores.
43:42APPLAUSE
43:45How are you feeling, Jack?
43:47Exhilarated and I feel a little bit guilty after the exchange,
43:52but, you know, it was game on, wasn't it?
43:55That's Taskmaster. Take no prisoners.
43:57It's Taskmaster. Take no prisoners.
44:02Would you like to see the scoreboard? Obviously.
44:04Well, because of what Jack did, Rosie's come last.
44:06LAUGHTER
44:10And Jack is at the top of the leaderboard,
44:12joined with Emma City on 19 points.
44:14APPLAUSE
44:19A tie-break!
44:22I know, Greg, yes.
44:23And this one was an easy one.
44:25All they had to do was work out how many days old I will be
44:28on Christmas Day 2024.
44:30They had to make eye contact with me the whole time
44:33and could only give one answer.
44:35The closest to the correct answer wins.
44:37Here's how they both got on.
44:39Eye contact.
44:41OK.
44:42You're 45.
44:44You're 33.
44:45Yes, fine.
44:46So, what year were you born?
44:48When do you think I was born?
44:49Oh, come off it, just answer the question.
44:51I think you were born on Christmas Day.
44:53Right. Right, Father Christmas.
44:55So, 9 x 365 is...
44:573,000...
44:59And then I'm going to halve that.
45:011,500.
45:04What? That's like nothing.
45:06I think you're...
45:0852.
45:09Really?
45:10Yes, I do. What's wrong with that?
45:12I was born in 1978.
45:131978?
45:14Yeah, so how old are you now, this year?
45:16It's a simple question.
45:17Sure, yeah, well, I'm 45 now.
45:1945 now.
45:20Look at me.
45:21You're 45.
45:22All right.
45:2317,223.
45:26WHISTLE BLOWS
45:27No, there's no way I can do that without a calculator.
45:30OK.
45:32Right.
45:33Are you going to give an answer?
45:34No, I've given up.
45:35Right.
45:40I've given up.
45:41WHISTLE BLOWS
45:47Coming out the gate,
45:48you had the aggression of a 1970s policeman.
45:50Yeah.
45:52I just couldn't have...
45:53At the time, I couldn't have imagined it was ever going to matter.
45:56And then, when you realise, it matters so much.
46:01So very much.
46:02So, the actual answer was 17,538.
46:06Emma was 293 days out.
46:08She wins because Jack gave up.
46:10There we go.
46:14Thanks for giving life.
46:15Emma Sidney wins.
46:17Please, now, get up and lift the loft,
46:19your liquid-hungry loot!
46:23What have we learned today?
46:25Sometimes, on Taskmaster, we learn profound things about life.
46:28And sometimes, those profound things are short, succinct, sweet.
46:33For example, today, we just learned,
46:35my mum's a slag.
46:39But halfway to the final,
46:41and the winner of the night to mark the occasion,
46:43is the incredible Emma Sidney!
46:58Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada